August 25, 2025 âą 28 mins
đ Baby = Culture: Sue Enquist on Team Ownership and Lessons from John WoodenÂ
On this episode of the Significant Recruiting Podcast, Iâm joined by legendary coach and consultant Sue Enquist for a powerful look at recruiting, leadership, and team culture. Sue shares one of her signature philosophiesââCulture is a baby, and the players are the babysittersââand challenges recruits and parents to rethink how they approach building and protecting team culture.Â
She also opens up about her mentor, the late Coach John Wooden, affectionately called âPapaâ, and the timeless lessons she learned from one of the greatest minds in sport.Â
Whether youâre an athlete, a parent, or a coach, this episode is full of wisdom on standing out in the recruiting process and thriving within a team.Â
For more recruiting tools, visit CoachMattRogers.com and check out my new book, The Volleyball Recruitâs Journal, available August 27 on Amazon.Â
Learn more and connect with Matt Rogers here: https://linktr.ee/coachmattrogers
Listen on Apple, Spotify, Amazon, iHeartRadio, and all your favorite podcast platforms.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The players are the babysittersof the culture.
(00:03):
The players are in charge.
I always say culture is like ababy, and the babysitters are in
charge of keeping an eye on theculture 24 7, and they must feed
it multiple times during theday.
Culture is every interaction byevery human on the team.
(00:32):
Welcome back to the SignificantCoaching Podcast in our
recruiting segment.
I'm your host, Matt Rogers.
You just heard a clip from oneof the most respected voices in
college sports, Sue Quist,sharing her philosophy.
Culture is a baby and theplayers are the babysitters.
I love it.
It's such a powerful image.
A baby needs constant care,attention and protection.
(00:53):
It's fragile.
It needs to be fed and nurtureddaily.
And when a team treats itsculture that way, when every
player takes ownership of it,special things happen.
In this episode, Sue takes usinside the recruiting journey In
a way only she can.
She breaks down the game'sbiggest challenges, NIL, the
(01:15):
transfer portal and shiftingpriorities for college programs
while reminding families thatthe fundamentals never change.
She shares timeless advice forparents, teacher athletes to
talk about failure to reflect ontheir day and to show growth.
In every conversation with acoach, she introduces the
(01:35):
concept of mastery, treatingyour sport like a craft, and
reminds us that characterdevelopment and love can
coexist.
Whether you're recruit a parentor a coach, this episode is
packed with insights to help youstand out and grow on and off
the field.
And if you're looking for toolsto stay organized and prepared
(01:55):
during your recruiting journey,visit coach matt rogers.com.
You'll find strategies andresources for families and
athletes.
And don't miss my brand newbook, the Volleyball Recruits
Journal.
Available August 27th atamazon.com.
All right, let's dive in.
Here's my recruitingconversation, part two with Sue
(02:15):
Quist.
Coach Enquist, I want to go backto your time as a recruiter
because I know so much haschanged now, and now we're
dealing with the NIL.
We're dealing with a portal, somany things that you didn't have
to really deal with at at thishigh level.
When you look at how yourecruited back then and how
maybe you're teaching a collegecoach how to recruit now, what
(02:37):
are some of those focus pointsabout how to build a program and
finding that right talent?
Where do we begin?
In doing so.
Well, the first thing I wannaacknowledge is I've been outta
the game for, uh, 20 years, soI'm not gonna talk about what we
did'cause it's irrelevant.
Okay.
But I will break it down in twoways.
I will speak to timeless thingsthat are still relevant.
(02:58):
Okay.
Timeless.
So it worked in 2006.
It will work in 2025.
And then timely things that Ithink are even more relevant for
the parent today.
So the timeless things.
If your daughter or son do notknow how to talk about failure,
you will slip into the averagebucket.
(03:19):
Most young student athletescoming into the coach's office,
they're not comfortable talkingabout their failure.
Teach your children to learnabout what they loved about
their day, what they didn't loveabout it, and how they're gonna
fix it.
And we call it being in mastery.
So we say your mental andphysical game.
(03:39):
That is your craft.
So if you're in mastery, you'reworking on your craft.
Just like leather workers workon their craft of doing leather
works or a shoe, uh, personworking on building a beautiful
shoe, it is a craft that we'reworking on.
It's a work in progress.
You never reach the destination.
You're getting 1% better everyday.
When we teach our children, yoursoftball hitting defense
(04:02):
character development is outhere.
I can slice and dice it.
As a parent and be critical ofyou.
Has nothing to do with how muchI love you.
Put your sport out here.
And I always tell parents, HeySusie, I need to do some I, I
wanna talk about the crafttoday.
It could be about theirschoolwork, right?
As a parent, talk about thosethings.
Talk about their work ethic.
That's number one.
(04:23):
Number two is I'm looking for astudent athlete that knows how
to speak about their character.
So I love to ask a student areally big heady question.
This is timeless.
This is relevant.
What does character mean to you?
That's it.
(04:43):
What does it mean to you?
And so I always share withparents sim those that can
simplify really big words thatgets my attention.
And then when they can give mean example of what they're
claiming.
So if someone said to me, Susie,what does character mean to you?
I would say how I think, how Ispeak and how I act are in
(05:07):
alignment.
And I exude readiness andoptimism.
How I think, how I speak, how Iact, are in alignment.
And I exude readiness andoptimism next best, right?
That's number one, my ability toarticulate it.
Then I say, and do you wannaknow what that looks like in how
(05:30):
I think, how I speak, and how Iact?
Do you wanna know what thatlooks like?
You say that to the collegecoach.
In my behaviors.
And then you give an example inhow I am a good teammate.
This is what it sounds like.
And in my mind, this is how Imanage failure recovery.
Failure recovery is justunderstanding how the brain
(05:51):
works.
It's a card deck of vibrations,a high vibration, low vibration,
good thoughts, weak thoughts.
Once I understand these two arehaving conversations with each
other all the time, and I knowhow to separate them.
Push them to a safe space andpick them up later and activate
(06:12):
my strong voice.
That's mental regulation rightthere.
Acknowledge the two voices inyour head.
Can't control what comes inconsciously can't control, but
you can control where it goesand how you answer the call with
your optimism.
Okay, I'm good at that.
I'm 17 and I'm good at that.
(06:35):
And I'm a heck of a great kid.
I have a 4.0 GP, a NationalHonor society, and I'm a
pitcher.
I'm five five and I throw 60mile an hour.
How am I being evaluated?
You've already been evaluatedbefore you get to the park
because the, this is timely.
(06:58):
This is all relatively new inthe last six to eight years.
We already know a, a multitudeof criteria on you regarding
your, your results on speed.
All of the technology that'sbeing used on spin rate range,
(07:20):
um, how, uh, your percents ofstrike versus ball, um, where
the ball gets pitched, the heatmaps on you.
So there is gonna be a fullchart.
Around your physical skills.
And if they're, if they're not,the parent needs to get
someplace where they're offeringstandardized skill assessment
(07:42):
where it is completelycontrolled.
It's completely objective.
So you have that data.
'cause what you're trying to dois you, you're trying to become
an apple to an apple.
You're in that small town inVermont.
You wanna be an apple to thatgirl that lives in Los Angeles.
Her spin rate is this, your spinrate's that.
Her velocity.
Is this your velocity?
(08:02):
Is that And the same withhitting, we've got a multitude
of tools now that are vetted andverified out there that you Now
can we, I always say to parents,try to create apple to an apple.
You wanna be compared apple toapple.
So number one.
Making sure you have thestandardized skills attached to
(08:22):
your bio so you can be an appleto an apple.
That's number one.
The second thing I'm looking atis I would love to come early
and watch you warm up.
I like to watch you, what Icall, prepare to prepare.
Are you, are you social girl?
'cause you have performanceenergy.
You're, you're, you're elevated,so you're a social girl.
(08:43):
No judgment on my part, I justhave to know what I have.
Right, because I wanna, I'mwatching what her needs are so I
can create'em when she comes tomy school.
Right.
So, so we had a player of theyear that was a clown.
She had to be crazy and funnyand laughing and weaving in and
out and listening to music and,but that was her leveler, that's
(09:05):
how she leveled out, right?
Then I have quiet thunder.
Who wants Mm.
I've gotta create the conditionswhere my team knows.
Especially with pictures.
I mean, guys, anybody that sayseverybody's the same, come, come
on everybody.
We put a circle around theposition.
(09:26):
Yeah, they're special.
Do you room those two kidstogether?
No, no, no.
We, we leaned into it.
We leaned into the.
The power of diversity, weleaned into it.
So, so you would, you would keepthem separate?
You wouldn't let, we would,yeah.
Because what we'd lean into thediversity and say, okay, who,
(09:47):
what, who fits best with who?
And we would put the players incharge of how.
'cause we, when you're livingtogether, we want comfort.
I don't want them to be growingon leadership when we're at the
World Series.
Right.
I want them going like this,right?
Yes.
Right.
We can do all the learning inthe fall and, and growing as
(10:07):
humans.
By the time we're competing, weunderstand our differences.
We acknowledge we're not gonnabe perfect and we're gonna be
the best team and plan B, I'mgonna be the best teammate, even
though I wanna scratch your eyesout.
No one talks about this, Matt.
Everyone will say.
Oh, look at, you know, look atthis championship team.
(10:28):
They're so locked on.
They're so together.
That's such baloney.
That championship team, theyhave dealt with a lot that
nobody knows about.
That's right.
They've dealt with the catfights, they've dealt with the
boozing on Friday night.
They've dealt with the kidthat's on probation.
They deal with a lot, not tomention the external, right.
But what they mastered is theymove through everything really
(10:51):
efficiently and they don't letit get in way of the
competition.
Yeah.
And when you have a team thatsays, I know I can't stand you
Monday through Friday, but onFriday night I'll take a bullet
for you.
That's the championship team,and that has to come from their
teammates holding each otheraccountable and letting coaches
have the players be empowered tobe in charge of their culture.
(11:15):
The coach sets the vision andthe scaffolding, the structure,
how we welcome'em, how we love'em up, how we hold them
accountable.
The players are the babysittersof the culture.
The players are in charge.
I always say culture is like ababy.
Culture is like a baby, and thebabysitters are in charge of
(11:39):
keeping an eye on the culture 247, and they must feed it
multiple times during the day.
Culture is every interaction byevery human on the team.
Like I go nuts.
So when players say, oh, we havea horrible culture, our co, our
coaches suck.
No, no, no.
(12:00):
That's not the case.
You're in charge of the culture.
You think your culture suck.
Get all your players togetherand say, we're in charge of the
fun zone.
You're just in charge of thestructure.
When players are empowered,that's so great, coach, that
they're in charge of theculture.
They're in charge of being thebabysitter, they're rocking the
baby.
Every conversation matters.
(12:21):
Those teams explode and end upplaying their best softball.
I've never had anybody explainculture that way to me, and it's
so profound.
It is so dead on.
The teams that winchampionships, they've taken
full ownership.
Yeah.
They're not gonna let that,they're not gonna let that baby
fall down.
They're not gonna let that babydrown in the tub.
(12:43):
They're, they're, they're on topof it.
Yeah.
You like, even like you watchUCLA this year, you watch how
they like under dubs.
Yeah.
They are not looking at KellyInwe Perez.
They're looking at each other.
Yeah.
Figuring it out.
They are a player empoweredprogram.
And so you look at Oklahoma,same thing.
They're not looking at PattyGaso.
(13:04):
They're not looking at jt.
Yeah.
They know the deal.
You look at top programs, thatis a very similar theme from the
outside.
I'm not in their business.
I don't wanna act like I, I, Iam, but I've been a part of
championship programs inmultiple sports, and that is a
common theme.
They take ownership in everyconversation and they feed the
baby multiple times.
They never take their eyes offthe baby culture.
(13:28):
Culture is not an event.
Matt, all all due respect to,you know, we're gonna go away
for three days.
We're gonna do marshmallows,we're gonna climb a mountain,
we're gonna carry a telephonepole and push tires.
Lo love that for teaching thegrit and stretching.
That is, that is an event.
(13:49):
If I'm not holding my teammateaccountable for not dressing
right, for not coming early, ason time, the culture is gonna
die a slow death becauseeverything matters.
When it comes to culture,everything matters.
When your baby sitting, the babywhere the baby lays, where the
baby sits, when the baby wakesup, when she goes to the
(14:09):
bathroom, when she eats,everything matters.
And teams that do that end uphaving great.
Enjoyable seasons and hopefullyplaying their best softball.
The 16-year-old that you'rewatching at a tournament, they
strike out, they walk back tothe dugout and you see them give
(14:30):
a look to their parent.
Does that concern you thatthey're gonna struggle being the
babysitter of your culture?
It there, I can't judge itcompletely that it, that it's
that they don't have interest.
It could be they don't know, butwhat it does tell me is if I do
elect to take this athlete, Iknow I'm gonna have to teach her
how to untether from thatbehavior.
(14:52):
And we, we teach them that.
Right?
The colleges will teach them andyou have to be open as a.
A young student athlete to knowthat if I can get you to feel a
sense of control around yourplay and your sense of, of deep
service to your teammates, itwill end up becoming more
enjoyable.
But that, that glance has to dowith they're still tethered to
(15:14):
wanting to do well for theirparents.
And that's not a bad thing.
It's just mentally, that's notwhen you should be thinking
about it.
Are you worried that they'relooking because they want the
coaching from the parent morethan the acceptance?
It, it, it doesn't, it's all ofthose, right.
So it's all those things go, Ijust don't wanna let'em down.
I I'm looking to make surethey're still cheering.
Right.
Okay.
That there, there are manythings and it's, it's hard as a
(15:35):
college coach not to judge it,but if our coaches could have
more empathy around what kind ofroad do I pave for that person
to, what are the steps we needto take?
And the usually that, when I seethat.
I realized their long-termathletic development has been
stunted.
Yeah.
And they have, they have losttheir identity.
(15:58):
So whenever you watch youngchildren around, uh, competitive
identity, uh, young children areso connected to their identity.
Yeah.
They're playing.
They don't care about the score.
They're having fun.
It's like the fun zone and agame breaks out.
They're connected to their sportidentity.
(16:18):
As performance results get moreimportant, this is what happens.
And now it becomes all aboutperformance and results and they
lose their identity.
So we have to get them and we doan audit around their own
identity.
Yeah.
And we teach them how to fill inthey, it's already in them.
(16:38):
So our job, it's these thingsthat you lost in the last eight
years.
They're already in you at UCLA.
We're just gonna shine a lighton'em to get them all aligned to
this side so you can go intothat game 100% and not worry
about, am I still a good person?
So good.
(16:59):
Can I still win a championshipas a college coach and recruit
this way?
I love that kid's mojo.
I love the, I love the way shefinished that game.
Can I, can I recruit with thatmindset and still win
championships?
I, I think so.
I, I'm gonna tell you why, uh,when I was coaching, probably
(17:19):
not, and I'm gonna tell you why.
Okay?
The talent differential was toolarge.
Okay, so back in the day, youknow, yes, we won a lot.
I'm super proud.
The women that led amazing.
Their toughness, their teammatesamazing.
Okay.
Amazing, amazing alumni.
Don't call me and say, coach,you totally, you know, you
(17:42):
totally pooped on us.
The reason it would've been sodifficult then the talent
differential.
So if you are not a top fiveteam.
The chances of you winning achampionship'cause it, the gap
is so large talent wise.
(18:02):
Yeah.
Today you could be a top 15team.
The talent differential is soclose.
No, you take that kid that's gotthat mojo that is all in their
identity and they've got somebasic fundamentals.
Oh yes, you can now with thecaveat.
(18:23):
We talk about that Cinderellastory, Cinderella stories.
We gotta remember why it'sdefined as that.
No one thought they could bethere, but have you ever heard
of a back to back to backCinderella team that won
championships?
No.
'cause they wouldn't be aCinderella team.
That's right.
But today you're only aCinderella once.
(18:44):
Right.
But today I do think yourecruit.
If I were recruiting today.
I would have it in three, threegroups.
I would have it in the customer.
'cause I'm at, if I'm at UCLA,I've gotta get customers.
You gotta get the, I don't if Iher stu, you gotta get the studs
that I don't care if I only gether one year.
I don't care.
Yeah, I would never have saidthat when I was caught.
I, no, me either.
I recruited parents, I said, I'mgonna recruit you for the rest
(19:06):
of your life.
That's right.
Today I would say I'm recruitingher and she may get a better
offer in a year and I want youto know it's okay.
Let me get her ready.
I would, I would lean into, I'llget her ready.
I would, I would literally say,Hey, mom and dad, listen, we're
gonna be able to do, do, do, do.
We're gonna elevate her.
I know she's only worth aquarter million right now.
(19:27):
I think after one year we couldget her to 600, and we know
these schools, we know whichschools have that money.
Right, right.
That's how I would sell that tothe customer.
To this one, I'm gonna sell whatUCLA is.
Right.
We're gonna be a training centerfor life, and I guarantee you,
when this is all said and doneand your daughter's 65 and the
customer's 65, I will guaranteeyou they will have more money in
(19:50):
the bank.
They will retire sooner.
That's what I would say.
Okay?
The last group, I'd say, Hey,look.
I know you're not as fast.
I know you're not as strong, butyou have something inside you
that we have not been able toquantify, but I see it.
I smell it.
I feel it.
I need you.
(20:10):
You belong with us.
You are gonna be the differencemaker in this program.
So it would be those three.
I love it.
I'm not gonna keep abusing yourtime.
You've been so wonderful to meand whoever's listening to this
right now.
I hope you understand you justgot an hour and a half of
masterclass these last twoepisodes.
I am a former college basketballcoach, and if I don't ask you
(20:32):
this question, I'm gonna kickmyself for the rest of my life.
Just wait.
Don't ask me who my favoriteplayer or my favorite team is.
I would never do that to you.
Okay, great.
Never do that to you.
You got quality time.
With John Wooden before hepassed.
Am I wrong?
Yeah, he was my mentor.
Tell me, what you took away fromthose years you spent with him.
(20:55):
I would say the biggest thingPapa taught me was love is
unconditional, and when a coachcan be in his love or her love.
Of being a teacher, leader,coach.
And you'll notice the order, ateacher, a leader, a coach.
(21:17):
If you can stay in thatsequencing, you'll make an
impact on that young adult thatwill stay with them forever.
And my favorite papa story is, Iwas complaining one day we
weren't playing well.
Wha wha wha, call up papa, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And he says, you know what?
It seems like I'm realizing youdon't love the game
(21:38):
unconditionally.
I go, what do you mean?
And he says, well, I noticedthat you say we, we, we, when
things go well and you say they,they, they, when things don't go
well.
Mm.
If you love the game and youlove the people in the game
unconditionally, you're alwaysyou taking control of the good,
(22:00):
the bad, and the ugly.
Yeah.
You've gotta love that.
He used to say, you have to lovethe game unconditionally on its
best days and its worst days.
Yeah.
It's great advice for raisingkids.
It's great advice for marriage.
It's great advice for life.
Yeah.
You know, Matt, I wanna, beforewe get off, I wanna share with
our, our community that, that wehave a group of people.
(22:21):
I, I, I shot my mouth off a lothere, right.
And I know parents can get doneand like, feel a little bit more
anxious possibly, right.
All that energy that doesn'tknow where to go.
And, and we're pulling togethersome people to, to help close
the gap.
Of leadership, recruiting,mental readiness.
(22:44):
From senior and high school tocollege, and then we're also
building out a long-term planfor them to be career ready when
they graduate.
And I think that's missing.
I, I think we, um, as, as acollege, I'm, I'm a professor in
the master's program at UCLA fortransformative leadership.
We're not doing a good enoughjob.
(23:05):
Getting them ready for a career.
And I think there's a gap thatcan be filled.
And so we have a group ofscholars, champions, subject
matter experts, and businessexemplars that are gonna be
putting together a digitalcommunity that allows that that
high school.
Individual, the collegeindividual and the, and the soon
to be graduate, to give themcritical skills that are gonna
(23:27):
be what we wanna call relevant,impactful, and practical.
Relevant.
You need it, impactful, itchanges you, and being able to
have practical, you can use ittoday.
I love it.
I'm, I'm a big proponent.
I've been talking to presidentsabout turning our traditional 4
1 4.
Semesters into a a, 1, 3, 3, 1.
(23:49):
Where that first.
Maybe pre-semester is, is aboutlife skills.
It's about learning how tocommunicate, learning how to
take notes, learning how to askquestions to a professor,
learning how to buildrelationships.
And maybe there's that class atthe end of the year where I'm
learning how to balance acheckbook.
I'm learning how to get anapartment.
I'm learning how to write myresume.
I'm learning how to presentmyself in an interview.
(24:11):
So I love all that.
Where can people find more ofyou if they want more of Sue
Enquist?
Well, yeah, like I'm not, I'mnot.
B bottom line.
This is what I do all the time,right?
Yeah.
I sue en it's s enquist,S-E-N-Q-U-I-S t@ucla.edu.
It's easy.
(24:31):
Um, and I always say, you know,Sue, if you're gonna shoot your
mouth off and be a big know itall, when I always profess to
be, learn it alls.
Then you gotta give yourpersonal cell phone number.
And I always give my number out,(310) 528-1083, and that's my
personal phone, phone number.
And people say, I can't believeyou.
Give out your personal number.
And I said, you know what?
In softball.
(24:53):
In sports, parents are sorespectful.
Yeah, they're, they're notasking, they don't call or text
and say, solve the world for me.
The only thing I ask is, stateyour question, state your
solution, and if I can helpguide you along that.
But don't come to me for youranswers.
Come to me to be able to saymaybe a little bit left, a
(25:13):
little bit right.
But I always want every parent,especially, uh, of course,
student athletes, but parents, Ihave so much respect for them.
I'm not who I am.
If it wasn't for the fact thatI, you know, I'm a daughter of a
military father, a two timePurple Heart winner in World War
ii, and a mother that was anurse.
So I had this beautiful.
Life of rigor and love, and toall those parents out there that
(25:35):
are working overtime just to beable to make that travel ball
schedule financially.
Um, I see you.
I want them to know that, andthe greatest gift I can give
them is my time, and so that'swhy I give out my number.
Just between you and me, Ididn't hear any running of your
mouth.
I heard an a waterfall ofknowledge and years of
experience and kindness andempathy and compassion, and I'm
(25:58):
all for it.
I'm a better dad because of ourconversation.
I'm a better coach because ofour conversation.
I'm a better leader because ofour conversation, and I know
we're gonna have hundreds ofpeople that are gonna feel the
same way.
So Coach Enquist, thank you somuch for who you are, and thanks
so much for your time today.
Thanks for having me.
It was great to be here.
And that's a wrap on anothergreat recruiting conversation
(26:20):
and what an honor it was tospend this time with Coach Sue
Quist.
Sue, thank you.
Not just for sharing your wisdomand practical advice for
families and recruits, but foropening the door to some deeply
personal stories, yourreflections on your mentor, and
one of my personal heroes.
Coach John Wooden, or as youaffectionately called him papa,
were a gift.
(26:41):
Those moments remind us thatrecruiting, coaching and
competing are about far morethan stats and wins.
They're about people and valuesand the impact we have on each
other's lives.
If you're looking to take thenext step in your recruiting
journey, don't forget to checkout my brand new book, the
Volleyball Recruits Journal,launching August 27th on Amazon.
(27:02):
It's a tool to keep youorganized, focused, and ready
for every opportunity and foreven more resources, visit coach
matt rogers.com where you'llfind my original book,
significant Recruiting PlusClasses and Tools Inside the
Significant Recruiting Launchpadprogram designed to guide
athletes and families.
Every step of the way.
(27:23):
Hey, thank you for listening.
Thank you to Sue for remindingus what true leadership looks
like, and thank you for being apart of this community.
Until next time, stay focused,stay humble, and stay in the
fight.
I.
The players are the babysittersof the culture.
(00:03):
The players are in charge.
I always say culture is like ababy, and the babysitters are in
charge of keeping an eye on theculture 24 7, and they must feed
it multiple times during theday.
Culture is every interaction byevery human on the team.
(00:32):
Welcome back to the SignificantCoaching Podcast in our
recruiting segment.
I'm your host, Matt Rogers.
You just heard a clip from oneof the most respected voices in
college sports, Sue Quist,sharing her philosophy.
Culture is a baby and theplayers are the babysitters.
I love it.
It's such a powerful image.
A baby needs constant care,attention and protection.
(00:53):
It's fragile.
It needs to be fed and nurtureddaily.
And when a team treats itsculture that way, when every
player takes ownership of it,special things happen.
In this episode, Sue takes usinside the recruiting journey In
a way only she can.
She breaks down the game'sbiggest challenges, NIL, the
(01:15):
transfer portal and shiftingpriorities for college programs
while reminding families thatthe fundamentals never change.
She shares timeless advice forparents, teacher athletes to
talk about failure to reflect ontheir day and to show growth.
In every conversation with acoach, she introduces the
(01:35):
concept of mastery, treatingyour sport like a craft, and
reminds us that characterdevelopment and love can
coexist.
Whether you're recruit a parentor a coach, this episode is
packed with insights to help youstand out and grow on and off
the field.
And if you're looking for toolsto stay organized and prepared
(01:55):
during your recruiting journey,visit coach matt rogers.com.
You'll find strategies andresources for families and
athletes.
And don't miss my brand newbook, the Volleyball Recruits
Journal.
Available August 27th atamazon.com.
All right, let's dive in.
Here's my recruitingconversation, part two with Sue
(02:15):
Quist.
Coach Enquist, I want to go backto your time as a recruiter
because I know so much haschanged now, and now we're
dealing with the NIL.
We're dealing with a portal, somany things that you didn't have
to really deal with at at thishigh level.
When you look at how yourecruited back then and how
maybe you're teaching a collegecoach how to recruit now, what
(02:37):
are some of those focus pointsabout how to build a program and
finding that right talent?
Where do we begin?
In doing so.
Well, the first thing I wannaacknowledge is I've been outta
the game for, uh, 20 years, soI'm not gonna talk about what we
did'cause it's irrelevant.
Okay.
But I will break it down in twoways.
I will speak to timeless thingsthat are still relevant.
(02:58):
Okay.
Timeless.
So it worked in 2006.
It will work in 2025.
And then timely things that Ithink are even more relevant for
the parent today.
So the timeless things.
If your daughter or son do notknow how to talk about failure,
you will slip into the averagebucket.
(03:19):
Most young student athletescoming into the coach's office,
they're not comfortable talkingabout their failure.
Teach your children to learnabout what they loved about
their day, what they didn't loveabout it, and how they're gonna
fix it.
And we call it being in mastery.
So we say your mental andphysical game.
(03:39):
That is your craft.
So if you're in mastery, you'reworking on your craft.
Just like leather workers workon their craft of doing leather
works or a shoe, uh, personworking on building a beautiful
shoe, it is a craft that we'reworking on.
It's a work in progress.
You never reach the destination.
You're getting 1% better everyday.
When we teach our children, yoursoftball hitting defense
(04:02):
character development is outhere.
I can slice and dice it.
As a parent and be critical ofyou.
Has nothing to do with how muchI love you.
Put your sport out here.
And I always tell parents, HeySusie, I need to do some I, I
wanna talk about the crafttoday.
It could be about theirschoolwork, right?
As a parent, talk about thosethings.
Talk about their work ethic.
That's number one.
(04:23):
Number two is I'm looking for astudent athlete that knows how
to speak about their character.
So I love to ask a student areally big heady question.
This is timeless.
This is relevant.
What does character mean to you?
That's it.
(04:43):
What does it mean to you?
And so I always share withparents sim those that can
simplify really big words thatgets my attention.
And then when they can give mean example of what they're
claiming.
So if someone said to me, Susie,what does character mean to you?
I would say how I think, how Ispeak and how I act are in
(05:07):
alignment.
And I exude readiness andoptimism.
How I think, how I speak, how Iact, are in alignment.
And I exude readiness andoptimism next best, right?
That's number one, my ability toarticulate it.
Then I say, and do you wannaknow what that looks like in how
(05:30):
I think, how I speak, and how Iact?
Do you wanna know what thatlooks like?
You say that to the collegecoach.
In my behaviors.
And then you give an example inhow I am a good teammate.
This is what it sounds like.
And in my mind, this is how Imanage failure recovery.
Failure recovery is justunderstanding how the brain
(05:51):
works.
It's a card deck of vibrations,a high vibration, low vibration,
good thoughts, weak thoughts.
Once I understand these two arehaving conversations with each
other all the time, and I knowhow to separate them.
Push them to a safe space andpick them up later and activate
(06:12):
my strong voice.
That's mental regulation rightthere.
Acknowledge the two voices inyour head.
Can't control what comes inconsciously can't control, but
you can control where it goesand how you answer the call with
your optimism.
Okay, I'm good at that.
I'm 17 and I'm good at that.
(06:35):
And I'm a heck of a great kid.
I have a 4.0 GP, a NationalHonor society, and I'm a
pitcher.
I'm five five and I throw 60mile an hour.
How am I being evaluated?
You've already been evaluatedbefore you get to the park
because the, this is timely.
(06:58):
This is all relatively new inthe last six to eight years.
We already know a, a multitudeof criteria on you regarding
your, your results on speed.
All of the technology that'sbeing used on spin rate range,
(07:20):
um, how, uh, your percents ofstrike versus ball, um, where
the ball gets pitched, the heatmaps on you.
So there is gonna be a fullchart.
Around your physical skills.
And if they're, if they're not,the parent needs to get
someplace where they're offeringstandardized skill assessment
(07:42):
where it is completelycontrolled.
It's completely objective.
So you have that data.
'cause what you're trying to dois you, you're trying to become
an apple to an apple.
You're in that small town inVermont.
You wanna be an apple to thatgirl that lives in Los Angeles.
Her spin rate is this, your spinrate's that.
Her velocity.
Is this your velocity?
(08:02):
Is that And the same withhitting, we've got a multitude
of tools now that are vetted andverified out there that you Now
can we, I always say to parents,try to create apple to an apple.
You wanna be compared apple toapple.
So number one.
Making sure you have thestandardized skills attached to
(08:22):
your bio so you can be an appleto an apple.
That's number one.
The second thing I'm looking atis I would love to come early
and watch you warm up.
I like to watch you, what Icall, prepare to prepare.
Are you, are you social girl?
'cause you have performanceenergy.
You're, you're, you're elevated,so you're a social girl.
(08:43):
No judgment on my part, I justhave to know what I have.
Right, because I wanna, I'mwatching what her needs are so I
can create'em when she comes tomy school.
Right.
So, so we had a player of theyear that was a clown.
She had to be crazy and funnyand laughing and weaving in and
out and listening to music and,but that was her leveler, that's
(09:05):
how she leveled out, right?
Then I have quiet thunder.
Who wants Mm.
I've gotta create the conditionswhere my team knows.
Especially with pictures.
I mean, guys, anybody that sayseverybody's the same, come, come
on everybody.
We put a circle around theposition.
(09:26):
Yeah, they're special.
Do you room those two kidstogether?
No, no, no.
We, we leaned into it.
We leaned into the.
The power of diversity, weleaned into it.
So, so you would, you would keepthem separate?
You wouldn't let, we would,yeah.
Because what we'd lean into thediversity and say, okay, who,
(09:47):
what, who fits best with who?
And we would put the players incharge of how.
'cause we, when you're livingtogether, we want comfort.
I don't want them to be growingon leadership when we're at the
World Series.
Right.
I want them going like this,right?
Yes.
Right.
We can do all the learning inthe fall and, and growing as
(10:07):
humans.
By the time we're competing, weunderstand our differences.
We acknowledge we're not gonnabe perfect and we're gonna be
the best team and plan B, I'mgonna be the best teammate, even
though I wanna scratch your eyesout.
No one talks about this, Matt.
Everyone will say.
Oh, look at, you know, look atthis championship team.
(10:28):
They're so locked on.
They're so together.
That's such baloney.
That championship team, theyhave dealt with a lot that
nobody knows about.
That's right.
They've dealt with the catfights, they've dealt with the
boozing on Friday night.
They've dealt with the kidthat's on probation.
They deal with a lot, not tomention the external, right.
But what they mastered is theymove through everything really
(10:51):
efficiently and they don't letit get in way of the
competition.
Yeah.
And when you have a team thatsays, I know I can't stand you
Monday through Friday, but onFriday night I'll take a bullet
for you.
That's the championship team,and that has to come from their
teammates holding each otheraccountable and letting coaches
have the players be empowered tobe in charge of their culture.
(11:15):
The coach sets the vision andthe scaffolding, the structure,
how we welcome'em, how we love'em up, how we hold them
accountable.
The players are the babysittersof the culture.
The players are in charge.
I always say culture is like ababy.
Culture is like a baby, and thebabysitters are in charge of
(11:39):
keeping an eye on the culture 247, and they must feed it
multiple times during the day.
Culture is every interaction byevery human on the team.
Like I go nuts.
So when players say, oh, we havea horrible culture, our co, our
coaches suck.
No, no, no.
(12:00):
That's not the case.
You're in charge of the culture.
You think your culture suck.
Get all your players togetherand say, we're in charge of the
fun zone.
You're just in charge of thestructure.
When players are empowered,that's so great, coach, that
they're in charge of theculture.
They're in charge of being thebabysitter, they're rocking the
baby.
Every conversation matters.
(12:21):
Those teams explode and end upplaying their best softball.
I've never had anybody explainculture that way to me, and it's
so profound.
It is so dead on.
The teams that winchampionships, they've taken
full ownership.
Yeah.
They're not gonna let that,they're not gonna let that baby
fall down.
They're not gonna let that babydrown in the tub.
(12:43):
They're, they're, they're on topof it.
Yeah.
You like, even like you watchUCLA this year, you watch how
they like under dubs.
Yeah.
They are not looking at KellyInwe Perez.
They're looking at each other.
Yeah.
Figuring it out.
They are a player empoweredprogram.
And so you look at Oklahoma,same thing.
They're not looking at PattyGaso.
(13:04):
They're not looking at jt.
Yeah.
They know the deal.
You look at top programs, thatis a very similar theme from the
outside.
I'm not in their business.
I don't wanna act like I, I, Iam, but I've been a part of
championship programs inmultiple sports, and that is a
common theme.
They take ownership in everyconversation and they feed the
baby multiple times.
They never take their eyes offthe baby culture.
(13:28):
Culture is not an event.
Matt, all all due respect to,you know, we're gonna go away
for three days.
We're gonna do marshmallows,we're gonna climb a mountain,
we're gonna carry a telephonepole and push tires.
Lo love that for teaching thegrit and stretching.
That is, that is an event.
(13:49):
If I'm not holding my teammateaccountable for not dressing
right, for not coming early, ason time, the culture is gonna
die a slow death becauseeverything matters.
When it comes to culture,everything matters.
When your baby sitting, the babywhere the baby lays, where the
baby sits, when the baby wakesup, when she goes to the
(14:09):
bathroom, when she eats,everything matters.
And teams that do that end uphaving great.
Enjoyable seasons and hopefullyplaying their best softball.
The 16-year-old that you'rewatching at a tournament, they
strike out, they walk back tothe dugout and you see them give
(14:30):
a look to their parent.
Does that concern you thatthey're gonna struggle being the
babysitter of your culture?
It there, I can't judge itcompletely that it, that it's
that they don't have interest.
It could be they don't know, butwhat it does tell me is if I do
elect to take this athlete, Iknow I'm gonna have to teach her
how to untether from thatbehavior.
(14:52):
And we, we teach them that.
Right?
The colleges will teach them andyou have to be open as a.
A young student athlete to knowthat if I can get you to feel a
sense of control around yourplay and your sense of, of deep
service to your teammates, itwill end up becoming more
enjoyable.
But that, that glance has to dowith they're still tethered to
(15:14):
wanting to do well for theirparents.
And that's not a bad thing.
It's just mentally, that's notwhen you should be thinking
about it.
Are you worried that they'relooking because they want the
coaching from the parent morethan the acceptance?
It, it, it doesn't, it's all ofthose, right.
So it's all those things go, Ijust don't wanna let'em down.
I I'm looking to make surethey're still cheering.
Right.
Okay.
That there, there are manythings and it's, it's hard as a
(15:35):
college coach not to judge it,but if our coaches could have
more empathy around what kind ofroad do I pave for that person
to, what are the steps we needto take?
And the usually that, when I seethat.
I realized their long-termathletic development has been
stunted.
Yeah.
And they have, they have losttheir identity.
(15:58):
So whenever you watch youngchildren around, uh, competitive
identity, uh, young children areso connected to their identity.
Yeah.
They're playing.
They don't care about the score.
They're having fun.
It's like the fun zone and agame breaks out.
They're connected to their sportidentity.
(16:18):
As performance results get moreimportant, this is what happens.
And now it becomes all aboutperformance and results and they
lose their identity.
So we have to get them and we doan audit around their own
identity.
Yeah.
And we teach them how to fill inthey, it's already in them.
(16:38):
So our job, it's these thingsthat you lost in the last eight
years.
They're already in you at UCLA.
We're just gonna shine a lighton'em to get them all aligned to
this side so you can go intothat game 100% and not worry
about, am I still a good person?
So good.
(16:59):
Can I still win a championshipas a college coach and recruit
this way?
I love that kid's mojo.
I love the, I love the way shefinished that game.
Can I, can I recruit with thatmindset and still win
championships?
I, I think so.
I, I'm gonna tell you why, uh,when I was coaching, probably
(17:19):
not, and I'm gonna tell you why.
Okay?
The talent differential was toolarge.
Okay, so back in the day, youknow, yes, we won a lot.
I'm super proud.
The women that led amazing.
Their toughness, their teammatesamazing.
Okay.
Amazing, amazing alumni.
Don't call me and say, coach,you totally, you know, you
(17:42):
totally pooped on us.
The reason it would've been sodifficult then the talent
differential.
So if you are not a top fiveteam.
The chances of you winning achampionship'cause it, the gap
is so large talent wise.
(18:02):
Yeah.
Today you could be a top 15team.
The talent differential is soclose.
No, you take that kid that's gotthat mojo that is all in their
identity and they've got somebasic fundamentals.
Oh yes, you can now with thecaveat.
(18:23):
We talk about that Cinderellastory, Cinderella stories.
We gotta remember why it'sdefined as that.
No one thought they could bethere, but have you ever heard
of a back to back to backCinderella team that won
championships?
No.
'cause they wouldn't be aCinderella team.
That's right.
But today you're only aCinderella once.
(18:44):
Right.
But today I do think yourecruit.
If I were recruiting today.
I would have it in three, threegroups.
I would have it in the customer.
'cause I'm at, if I'm at UCLA,I've gotta get customers.
You gotta get the, I don't if Iher stu, you gotta get the studs
that I don't care if I only gether one year.
I don't care.
Yeah, I would never have saidthat when I was caught.
I, no, me either.
I recruited parents, I said, I'mgonna recruit you for the rest
(19:06):
of your life.
That's right.
Today I would say I'm recruitingher and she may get a better
offer in a year and I want youto know it's okay.
Let me get her ready.
I would, I would lean into, I'llget her ready.
I would, I would literally say,Hey, mom and dad, listen, we're
gonna be able to do, do, do, do.
We're gonna elevate her.
I know she's only worth aquarter million right now.
(19:27):
I think after one year we couldget her to 600, and we know
these schools, we know whichschools have that money.
Right, right.
That's how I would sell that tothe customer.
To this one, I'm gonna sell whatUCLA is.
Right.
We're gonna be a training centerfor life, and I guarantee you,
when this is all said and doneand your daughter's 65 and the
customer's 65, I will guaranteeyou they will have more money in
(19:50):
the bank.
They will retire sooner.
That's what I would say.
Okay?
The last group, I'd say, Hey,look.
I know you're not as fast.
I know you're not as strong, butyou have something inside you
that we have not been able toquantify, but I see it.
I smell it.
I feel it.
I need you.
(20:10):
You belong with us.
You are gonna be the differencemaker in this program.
So it would be those three.
I love it.
I'm not gonna keep abusing yourtime.
You've been so wonderful to meand whoever's listening to this
right now.
I hope you understand you justgot an hour and a half of
masterclass these last twoepisodes.
I am a former college basketballcoach, and if I don't ask you
(20:32):
this question, I'm gonna kickmyself for the rest of my life.
Just wait.
Don't ask me who my favoriteplayer or my favorite team is.
I would never do that to you.
Okay, great.
Never do that to you.
You got quality time.
With John Wooden before hepassed.
Am I wrong?
Yeah, he was my mentor.
Tell me, what you took away fromthose years you spent with him.
(20:55):
I would say the biggest thingPapa taught me was love is
unconditional, and when a coachcan be in his love or her love.
Of being a teacher, leader,coach.
And you'll notice the order, ateacher, a leader, a coach.
(21:17):
If you can stay in thatsequencing, you'll make an
impact on that young adult thatwill stay with them forever.
And my favorite papa story is, Iwas complaining one day we
weren't playing well.
Wha wha wha, call up papa, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And he says, you know what?
It seems like I'm realizing youdon't love the game
(21:38):
unconditionally.
I go, what do you mean?
And he says, well, I noticedthat you say we, we, we, when
things go well and you say they,they, they, when things don't go
well.
Mm.
If you love the game and youlove the people in the game
unconditionally, you're alwaysyou taking control of the good,
(22:00):
the bad, and the ugly.
Yeah.
You've gotta love that.
He used to say, you have to lovethe game unconditionally on its
best days and its worst days.
Yeah.
It's great advice for raisingkids.
It's great advice for marriage.
It's great advice for life.
Yeah.
You know, Matt, I wanna, beforewe get off, I wanna share with
our, our community that, that wehave a group of people.
(22:21):
I, I, I shot my mouth off a lothere, right.
And I know parents can get doneand like, feel a little bit more
anxious possibly, right.
All that energy that doesn'tknow where to go.
And, and we're pulling togethersome people to, to help close
the gap.
Of leadership, recruiting,mental readiness.
(22:44):
From senior and high school tocollege, and then we're also
building out a long-term planfor them to be career ready when
they graduate.
And I think that's missing.
I, I think we, um, as, as acollege, I'm, I'm a professor in
the master's program at UCLA fortransformative leadership.
We're not doing a good enoughjob.
(23:05):
Getting them ready for a career.
And I think there's a gap thatcan be filled.
And so we have a group ofscholars, champions, subject
matter experts, and businessexemplars that are gonna be
putting together a digitalcommunity that allows that that
high school.
Individual, the collegeindividual and the, and the soon
to be graduate, to give themcritical skills that are gonna
(23:27):
be what we wanna call relevant,impactful, and practical.
Relevant.
You need it, impactful, itchanges you, and being able to
have practical, you can use ittoday.
I love it.
I'm, I'm a big proponent.
I've been talking to presidentsabout turning our traditional 4
1 4.
Semesters into a a, 1, 3, 3, 1.
(23:49):
Where that first.
Maybe pre-semester is, is aboutlife skills.
It's about learning how tocommunicate, learning how to
take notes, learning how to askquestions to a professor,
learning how to buildrelationships.
And maybe there's that class atthe end of the year where I'm
learning how to balance acheckbook.
I'm learning how to get anapartment.
I'm learning how to write myresume.
I'm learning how to presentmyself in an interview.
(24:11):
So I love all that.
Where can people find more ofyou if they want more of Sue
Enquist?
Well, yeah, like I'm not, I'mnot.
B bottom line.
This is what I do all the time,right?
Yeah.
I sue en it's s enquist,S-E-N-Q-U-I-S t@ucla.edu.
It's easy.
(24:31):
Um, and I always say, you know,Sue, if you're gonna shoot your
mouth off and be a big know itall, when I always profess to
be, learn it alls.
Then you gotta give yourpersonal cell phone number.
And I always give my number out,(310) 528-1083, and that's my
personal phone, phone number.
And people say, I can't believeyou.
Give out your personal number.
And I said, you know what?
In softball.
(24:53):
In sports, parents are sorespectful.
Yeah, they're, they're notasking, they don't call or text
and say, solve the world for me.
The only thing I ask is, stateyour question, state your
solution, and if I can helpguide you along that.
But don't come to me for youranswers.
Come to me to be able to saymaybe a little bit left, a
(25:13):
little bit right.
But I always want every parent,especially, uh, of course,
student athletes, but parents, Ihave so much respect for them.
I'm not who I am.
If it wasn't for the fact thatI, you know, I'm a daughter of a
military father, a two timePurple Heart winner in World War
ii, and a mother that was anurse.
So I had this beautiful.
Life of rigor and love, and toall those parents out there that
(25:35):
are working overtime just to beable to make that travel ball
schedule financially.
Um, I see you.
I want them to know that, andthe greatest gift I can give
them is my time, and so that'swhy I give out my number.
Just between you and me, Ididn't hear any running of your
mouth.
I heard an a waterfall ofknowledge and years of
experience and kindness andempathy and compassion, and I'm
(25:58):
all for it.
I'm a better dad because of ourconversation.
I'm a better coach because ofour conversation.
I'm a better leader because ofour conversation, and I know
we're gonna have hundreds ofpeople that are gonna feel the
same way.
So Coach Enquist, thank you somuch for who you are, and thanks
so much for your time today.
Thanks for having me.
It was great to be here.
And that's a wrap on anothergreat recruiting conversation
(26:20):
and what an honor it was tospend this time with Coach Sue
Quist.
Sue, thank you.
Not just for sharing your wisdomand practical advice for
families and recruits, but foropening the door to some deeply
personal stories, yourreflections on your mentor, and
one of my personal heroes.
Coach John Wooden, or as youaffectionately called him papa,
were a gift.
(26:41):
Those moments remind us thatrecruiting, coaching and
competing are about far morethan stats and wins.
They're about people and valuesand the impact we have on each
other's lives.
If you're looking to take thenext step in your recruiting
journey, don't forget to checkout my brand new book, the
Volleyball Recruits Journal,launching August 27th on Amazon.
(27:02):
It's a tool to keep youorganized, focused, and ready
for every opportunity and foreven more resources, visit coach
matt rogers.com where you'llfind my original book,
significant Recruiting PlusClasses and Tools Inside the
Significant Recruiting Launchpadprogram designed to guide
athletes and families.
Every step of the way.
(27:23):
Hey, thank you for listening.
Thank you to Sue for remindingus what true leadership looks
like, and thank you for being apart of this community.
Until next time, stay focused,stay humble, and stay in the
fight.
I.
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Iâm Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and Iâm so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood youâre able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and lifeâs ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them weâve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I donât take it for granted â click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I canât wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.