November 24, 2025 • 37 mins
🔥 One Dad, One Recruiting Journey: The Brian Olehy Conversation
This week on the Significant Recruiting Podcast, Matt sits down for a real, unfiltered talk with a parent in the middle of the recruiting journey. 🎙️👨👧
About a year ago, Brian Olehy reached out for guidance on his daughter Kelsey’s path to college volleyball. Since then, his family has gone all-in: the free recruiting strategy session, film evaluation, the Significant Recruiting book, the Volleyball Recruit’s Journal, and the Significant Recruiting Launchpad online classes. 📘✏️🎥
The results speak for themselves — Kelsey earned her first offer early in her junior year and continues to build strong, meaningful conversations with college coaches who match her ability, values, and priorities. 📨🏐🎓
Brian wasn’t given talking points. He wasn’t asked to endorse anything. This is simply a dad talking honestly about what he's learned, what he's felt, and what he wish he knew sooner. 💬❤️
If you're a parent unsure where to go next… or simply craving a real perspective from someone who’s “made the jump,” this episode will give you confidence, clarity, and direction. 👉✨
Explore free recruiting strategy sessions, journals, classes, and more at CoachMattRogers.com.
Learn more and connect with Matt Rogers here: https://linktr.ee/coachmattrogers
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:09):
Welcome back to the SignificantCoaching Podcast, recruiting
edition.
I'm Matt Rogers, and today'sepisode is a unique one because
for the first time, we'rehearing directly from a parent
who's in the middle of therecruiting journey.
Today.
About one year ago, Brian Haireached out looking for clarity
on his daughter Kelsey's path tocollege.
Since then, Brian and his familyhave taken full advantage of the
(00:32):
entire significant recruitingtoolbox, starting with
scheduling a free recruitingstrategy session with
me@coachmattrogers.com.
Then diving into the significantrecruiting book using the
volleyball recruits journal andworking through the significant
recruiting launchpad onlineclasses.
And what's happened since Kelseyearned her first offer early
(00:54):
this fall of her junior year andcontinues to build meaningful
conversations with collegevolleyball coaches across the
country, coaches who align withher ability, her academics, and
her priorities.
Brian and I actually recordedthis conversation late this
summer, and I'll be honest withyou, I've been tentative to
publish it.
(01:14):
I never want anything I share tofeel like a vanity project.
That's not what this is.
I simply wanted to give a realunfiltered voice to a parent who
was walking through therecruiting process with their
child.
Brian wasn't coached on what tosay.
He wasn't asked to give anopinion one way or the other.
It was just two dads talkingabout a process that can feel
overwhelming, confusing, andemotional, and sharing what
(01:38):
we've learned along the way.
Over the past year, Brian hasbecome a friend and a fierce
supporter of me and myresources.
I'm genuinely.
Thankful for the trust he'splaced in me to help guide
Kelsey's journey.
She's a great kid and it's beenfun for me to get to know her
and watch her two championshipseasons that she's gone through.
If you're a parent trying tofigure out what direction to go
(02:00):
next, or just wondering whatthis path looks like from the
inside, my hope is that thisepisode helps you trust that
everything I offer, the freestrategy sessions, the coaching
calls, and the inexpensive butsignificant recruiting resources
comes from a place of compassionand empathy.
I only wish my parents hadaccess to this kind of
(02:20):
information when I was ateenager.
We couldn't have been more inthe woods when it came to my
recruiting and getting more ofmy college paid for, and I know
I missed out on dozens ofopportunities aside from the
lucky one chance I received toplay in college.
I want you to understand, I donot make any money off these
podcasts.
(02:41):
I have no sponsors.
I have no ads.
I invite guests on who I thinkcan educate and make the journey
to college easier for thefamilies I work with and all
families who may be strugglingwith what to do with their
child's passion for theirrespective sport.
I hope you find them meaningful.
I hope you find themsignificant.
I hope that if you find value.
(03:03):
That you'll comment and sharewith another family, or take the
jump to schedule a freeconversation with me and learn
how I may be able to help yourfamily.
With that said, whicheverdirection you go next, just know
that you are always one phonecall away or an email away from
an experienced friend who onlywants to help.
I'll be cheering for you andyours, and I wish all of you a
(03:24):
happy Thanksgiving weekend.
Alright, without further ado,let's dive into my conversation
with Brian Hai.
Brian, so great to see you.
Thanks for being on the show.
You and I have been talking formonths now.
You came to me and said, Matt,my daughter's going through this
recruiting process.
Here's where we're at.
(03:44):
Talk a little bit about whereyou guys were three or four
months ago and where thisjourney started for you.
Two or four months ago, lemme goback to you even further.
Kelsey started playing.
She's a volleyball player.
She's an undersized volleyballplayer.
Plays at a small high school andplays club.
She played club for a long time,since she was about 11 years
old.
A couple last year they had alot of success with their
(04:06):
varsity.
She started varsity, they had alot of success.
They were a state championshiprunner up.
Around that time, at the earlypart of last year as a
sophomore, when she madevarsity, she really started to
talk about I wanna play incollege.
That's when it became evident toher.
Just trying to get her to apoint where understanding who
(04:27):
she is as a player, and whatit's gonna take to get to the
next level and what it takes toplay at the next level.
We started out with and probablyI feel like.
We probably started out to meabout six months later than I
wish we would've.
I wish we would've had a littlebetter plan, maybe six months
sooner, and that's what I'dstress to people is probably in
that eighth grade, freshmanyear.
If you have an idea, you'regonna do something.
(04:47):
Then start looking at where youthink you're gonna fit and slot
ability wise, and then startlooking into places that you're
actually interested inacademically and athletically
where you think you would fit.
What do you think?
It's, and it's super difficultfor an eighth grader to go, I
(05:07):
wanna do X when I'm 30 yearsold.
So you've gotta keep youroptions open.
You have to keep everythingavailable to you.
But three or four months ago,even six months ago, it was, and
it was actually about six, eightmonths ago, what really launched
me to you and to significantrecruiting, significant
coaching, the book, the podcast.
All of that was I don't evenknow where I saw it, but I just
(05:28):
saw that there was gonna be awebinar and it was gonna be with
coach at UW Platteville.
And honestly, if it hadn't beenfor being UW Platteville and us
following them so much onInstagram and how much Chelsea
and I liked watching what theydid, I may not even have watched
'cause it was like, oh, I wannasee that lady.
(05:49):
Like they're funny.
Yeah they're hilarious.
Like they don't take themselvestoo serious.
And and if you haven't checkedthat out, you should check out
their Instagram, so grow theirfollowers.
But it's it was that opportunityto listen to her because I felt
like that was a place like Dthree, in ai D two is where I
(06:11):
always felt like my daughterfit.
And I played division threefootball and I was not very
good.
So I understand being committedathletically, definitely not
being committed academically andending up on academic probation
and the cost of prevention.
Three, athletics and academicswe're not gonna make the same
(06:33):
mistakes.
My parents let me.
Yeah.
And I did coach some sports,some athletics in high school,
so I've had kids get recruited,so I had some ideas.
About athletics and what'sathletic.
And I knew at her size, at herheight, D one was not gonna come
knocking on her door no matterhow fast she was, no matter she
set the ball.
No matter how good she passedher defense, none of that was
(06:55):
gonna probably get her to, a, ahigh level division one.
So we had to be realistic aboutwhere we were and we started to
talk about it a little bit.
It was like.
I'm gonna watch this webinar.
And it gave a lot of goodinformation.
It was, honestly, it was lightlyattended, unfortunately.
It was great.
It's super information, go backand find it on your panel
(07:16):
because it's good information.
That is an excellent startingspot for anybody starting this
journey.
And I've got a guy at work toothat has a son who, he has two
sons, one's a junior and one's afreshman.
They both play basketball at,in, in Indiana where I live,
which is a basketball heavystate.
And one of'em, the younger onewants to play and I'm, I told
(07:38):
him, I'm like, okay, he's afreshman.
This is when you really need toget started.
You need to start now.
And I, here's the book, here'sthe website.
And we even talked about usingthe free services of Sports
recruits and NCSA and thosewebsites.
And it's funny because he toldme, he said, my wife my wife
told me that.
We should probably sign up onthat.
He's ah, I get these emails allthe time.
(07:59):
It's probably just some sort ofscam with this thing.
And I'm like, no, NCSA is real.
I said they can take a lot ofmoney from you if you let them,
but they also have these freetools and these free searches
and lets you see all theseschools and all this information
and put you out there.
Hold on one second.
My, my vacuum.
(08:19):
You say when?
Go right it.
So I have a guy that I work withwho has two sons in high school.
They're basketball players.
We're in Indiana.
They're crazy basketball state.
One of his sons, his freshmanson, really wants to play in
college.
I can't even wants to work atit.
He talks about him being a gymrat and working out.
You need to get started now.
(08:41):
This is when you need to startlooking at things and start
going to actual camps like DNCand putting yourself out there.
And we talked about the freeservices.
I said, NCSA and he is is thatreal?
And he said, I get me emails.
My wife said we should probablyput him on there.
And he said, no, it's, they'rejust trying to get our money.
She gets us a scam.
And I was like, no.
NCSA sports recruit.
Those are real sites and there'sa lot of great free tools that
(09:03):
you can get to put your name outthere.
It's the way to go.
He is really?
He's oh.
And he came back and said he hadto tell his wife, yeah, you were
right.
He didn't like that.
But yeah, so a lot of people arewhere we are.
A lot of people are in the sameboat and then bring it all
forward.
I needed to hear from somebodywho has firsthand knowledge,
(09:30):
firsthand information.
Firsthand ability to scout andsay, yes, that kid can play at X
level.
And that's where we got startedbecause, Kelsey played travel
volleyball with a very goodclub.
She switched clubs this year,which I'm very proud that she
did.
She switched clubs.
She's played club volleyball.
(09:51):
She spent private lessons.
We, we've invested in thatbecause it's her passion.
Yeah.
She's done lessons with a guywho is a brand new assistant at
Wisconsin.
Volleyball, was the associatehead coach at Purdue for years.
A name that volleyball peoplerecognize.
John Bell.
He did lessons with John for thelast couple of years.
He was also, an assistant coachwith the pro team, with the Andy
(10:13):
Ignite.
He's had good training, but Idon't necessarily want to go and
ask a division one coach, wheredo use my kids late or, and I
don't really necessarily counton club coaches to count me or
even really the high schoolcoach,'cause his job is to coach
the team.
It's not to evaluate my kid forhigh school.
And it's not his job to get mykid recruited.
(10:33):
And then add to our story,Kelsey's mom and I are divorced.
We live, I live very close, butwe don't, doesn't live with me
every day.
So we have a very goodrelationship and we both, invest
in her volleyball, but we alsosaid we're not gonna invest our
time and effort into getting yourecruited if you're not gonna
take the lead.
(10:55):
And getting healthy on board toyou gotta send the emails.
We're not gonna helicopterparent you into this.
If this is what you want, thenyou have to put the effort into
it.
And we started to look aroundand we started to consider our
options.
I had already had, I had alreadyseen your podcast with Be from
UW Platteville, and I've had anidea.
(11:16):
I reached out to you.
Quite honestly, I just pulled,emailed and said, look and
basically just told you thislong story I've just been
telling about Kelsey'sbackground and said, I just
wanna know if she's good enough,and how do I find that out?
Where do I go?
And that's a service that youoffer from your experience as a
coach.
(11:37):
And as a, a recruiter and talentevaluator for NPFA for so many
years, just having somebody youknow there, and there are a
hundred services out there thatwill do it.
Some of them reputable, some ofthem not so much.
And you need to pick the onethat's right for you and your
family and who you trust.
Obviously I'm gonna en, enendorse Matt Rogers, but you can
go out and find whoever youwant.
(11:57):
I, and that's where we, whatkind of where we got started and
that's great.
And I appreciate that and a lot.
My question is, let's go back tostarting early.
I love that you guys havelearned that from a personal
experience, how important it isto start early.
You talked from the beginning,you wish you would've started
six months early.
(12:18):
For those parents that arestruggling with thinking about
their child's college experienceat 13, 14, 15 years old, what
advice would you give themabout.
Take, it's really taking thepressure off of you to start
early more than putting morepressure on.
Absolutely.
Can you talk a little bit aboutthat?
(12:39):
If you get an early start on itand then you start to evaluate,
I think one thing I would saywith parents is, there's a
couple of points I'd make here.
One is don't.
Have a level of humility withyour kid.
We all think our kid is great,that's why we're, they're our
kid.
But when you start thinking, mykid's the best he's, my kid is
(12:59):
the best shortstop on hisbaseball team, on his travel
team.
He's the shortstop.
He's, he makes all tournament.
Half the time when we go to atournament, he is gonna get a
Division one scholarship.
What you don't realize is everykid.
That goes to college and playsathletics was probably the best
kid on their team where theycame from, because that funnel
gets really small.
(13:20):
And I'm not talking about justdivision one, I'm talking about
it every division.
I don't know if it was in one ofthe podcasts you did the coach
work.
And one of the things thatdistinctly stuck out to me was
you asked her, if she'srecruiting two and three star
athletes, can she compete at thenational championship?
And her response was.
Can't compete in my conferencebecause she's playing in the
(13:41):
toughest conference in theUnited States and other
podcasts, I've heard you say, ifyou put a D three, the best D
three out there with somemid-level D ones and they
played, it would be hard for youto pick out which one's D one
volleyball and which one's Dthree.
So don't, as a parent, it's sowrapped up in my kid's.
Great.
Somebody's gonna find them.
(14:02):
It's just gonna happenorganically because of their
athletic ability.
Yeah, it can like, yeah,absolutely it can.
I guess we're of an age when Isay Michael Jordan, people our
age resonate with that.
It's LeBron or Michael,depending on your age.
But for me, like Michael Jordanwas talented.
But he didn't just show up likehe worked at it.
(14:23):
And the legendary stories of himpushing his teammates to be at
his level, which they never weregonna be, but he tried to push
everybody to that level.
Except what level you're at, andbe honest with your evaluation
of your own evaluation of yourtalent.
That's the first thing.
The second thing I would say isdon't write off.
The other divisions, NAIA,division two, division three,
(14:47):
even juco, like a Division oneJUCO will give you a full
scholarship and pay for yourhousing and give you some money
for academic, supplies.
All of these things, there'sways to get college paid for.
Another thing would be make sureyour athlete, it's their dream
and not your dream.
If you want your kid to play incollege more than they do.
(15:09):
It's not gonna be successful forany anyone, no matter how
talented they are, no matter howgood they are, it's gonna catch
up with them at some point.
You're gonna run outta road atthe end.
Yeah.
Be efficient with yourevaluation.
Know that it's their dream.
And then the other thing isdon't forget about the
academics.
And then I don't, I came up withit because I was a baseball
(15:29):
coach, but I had kids thatplayed baseball for me that
played in college and footballthat played.
I had a kid that went on and wonthe ARDI Trophy in division
three that played for me.
So I've been around goodathletes, but the thing that I
would say about your grades is,and this is my analogy, is your
GPA will get you a lot moremoney for school than what your
(15:53):
ERA will.
In baseball VPA is for thosedivision twos, those NAI, those
division threes, they're gonnathrow more money probably at you
academically when they startsetting up their athletic
scholars, that money.
So if you come in with good highGPA, a good test score, they're
gonna be like, man you're great.
You're one of the best athletes.
(16:13):
We can size.
I don't have to give you a bunchof athletic money because your
grades are so good.
Yeah.
I'm taking you, I gonna stand inline for you.
So that's really important.
VPA is more valuable thananything will do on the court
when it comes to getting ourrecruiting.
It's the easiest scholarshipdollars there are.
I have a good grades.
Brian, I wanna go back totalking about Kelsey's the
(16:33):
emotional journey.
She's a 2027.
If we didn't talk about this,she's a, she just started her
junior year.
How much has getting somefeedback from college coaches as
a sophomore and now as a junior,what has that done for her
confidence that she can play?
She does have a skillset.
(16:53):
A lot of kids, they don't startthe recruiting process till
late, junior, early, senioryear, and they've gotten really
no college coaches giving themfeedback or saying, Hey, you're
really good, but if you'll workon this and this, it's gonna
make you an even better recruitfor us or somebody else.
What has that done for herconfidence and her mentality in
(17:14):
this journey?
I think I think it's obviouslyincreased her.
Confidence in her game.
I feel like she's always,because I coach for a long time,
you was on the sidelines.
I don't necessarily look at myown kid.
I think a lot of parents do,I'm.
(17:34):
He is the one I'm most criticalof, right?
He is the only one I'll say badthings about, oh, come on you've
got one job, just do it.
That's, I get on her or I getmore frustrated with her than I
do anybody else because of thatmentality of, we're just trying
to win we're just trying to begame with this.
But for her confidence, I'vealways felt like she was
confident in her game from anearly age before, he wants to be
(17:57):
the kid.
On the line at that point,serving the ball.
Like she wants to serve an ace.
That's what she wants to finishit with her serve.
So she's con she's always beenconfident in her play, but I
just see a different level, ofjust like she her strut a little
bit.
Just the way she warms up, theway she reacts.
(18:18):
I know that.
So she went to a couple of campsthis summer that were invite
camps.
She got invited to a couple ofcollege prospect camps, division
two and an NAIA camp that werepretty small and we really had a
good time.
And I think that probably openedher eyes a lot to what college
is like, what the speed of thegame is.
I've right.
(18:40):
I remember one of the podcastslistening you talking about you
could read a book between, youcould read a chapter of a book
between points and a high schoolgame.
And that's true.
Like I'm, and then watching acollege game, like the girls are
just on, and I was thinkingabout it the other night,
watching'em play these girls aresitting on a bench.
I can't remember the last time Isaw college girls not standing
up who aren't gonna get in thegame, but they stand up the
(19:01):
whole game.
But if they get called on,they're, yeah.
There's no wasted time.
They're out the fire.
So I feel like it also has madeher aware of how she needs to
tailor her game being quick.
The other thing, as she sets onher high school team this year.
She played DS last year.
So she's setting, so he's floorcaptaining more.
(19:23):
He's always positive even whenbad things happen.
And I don't know if, and Inoticed that more in the first
few games we've played alreadythis season.
She's, she's a little morevocal.
She's a lot more vocal this yearas a junior and as a setter than
she was last year as a Dsplaying with two, two seniors
that drove our team last year.
They were, they were our twohitters and who drove our teams
(19:46):
to the big championship lastyear.
So he's a lot more vocal.
Just having an idea that she canplay at a college level and
then.
She has one tool that's veryinterested in her that I think
she's gonna get an offer forafter a visit this fall that we
got set up.
Yeah.
Confident that's gonna probablyhappen.
(20:06):
That makes her feel good.
Now the only the flip side ofthat is I don't want her to fall
in love with them until they've,yeah.
Given her a ring.
I want her to keep, I want herto keep following the playbook,
the launch pads keep sending outemails.
Yeah.
Keep going with it until weknow, this isn't a committed
relationship until you sign onthe dotted line.
(20:27):
So let's look at all of ouroptions, because you never know
who's gonna come out of thewoodwork.
Yeah.
All you need is the right personto see you on the right day.
And it can turn into, for myathlete, maybe even a low level
division one, ranger, thingshave happened.
So I keep telling her like, Isend her.
We got a list from you of sometarget schools that would be
(20:48):
good for her based on her play.
And we're not through that.
But then I go and look at someother schools, I'm like, and I
think this would be a good fitfor you too, because this is
what you wanna studyacademically, if's close to us.
And I like the price.
Let's look at that.
So send'em an email anddefinitely is, it's definitely
inspiring when she gets aresponse.
(21:09):
And the thing that's hard for meto get her to do is probably
sometimes to we've had aconversation.
She's happy sending an email.
We has a hard time making thephone call.
Yeah, she's scared.
'cause it happened to her.
They answered one day and it waslike, oh yeah.
So she got really scared and, Ihad her listen to one of the
(21:31):
podcasts with girls from OregonState to play, oh.
Yeah.
Softballs Amelia.
I had her listen to thatpodcast, Amelia.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I had her listen to that oneand she said, she made a phone
call to Oregon State and thefirst call went bad and they
were on, she said her and herdad were in the car and he's you
can do one of two things.
You can let it sit there and bethat, that's what they hear.
(21:52):
Or you can call'em back and makea joke at'em and say.
Lemme try again.
She'd called back.
You know what, that's where sheended up.
She ended up at the place shecalled.
So she ended up, she's afreshman at Oregon State now
playing division one softball.
Yeah.
And that's why I keep tellingKelsey that phone call.
I just talked to her.
I just talked to her yesterdayand she's, she's having a blast.
(22:12):
Last I, for me, I see so manyparents that are stuck in
quicksand.
They're in, they have analysisby paralysis.
You took that initiative to say,I've gotta learn, I've gotta
figure this out.
And you picked up the phone andyou made a phone call.
You scheduled a strategysession.
(22:33):
You knew it was free, and youwanted to say, okay, let's find
out what free really means.
You bought a book that wasfairly cheap and you read the
book and go, gosh, there's someguidelines here.
You paid for a class, arecruiting class that.
Taught you the steps.
How do we get parents to unleashthemselves to, to make that
phone call and say, I'm gonnaschedule with a mat.
(22:55):
I'm gonna schedule with an NCSA,I'm gonna get this ball rolling
and at least try to learn wherewe need to be.
How important is that just toget off the couch and make the
call?
The there's a, there's an oldproverb that just comes to mind
that, the, every journey begins.
Every journey of a thousandmiles begins with the first
step.
And that's what this is.
(23:15):
And recruiting, I know I'veheard it multiple times on your
podcast.
I've read it in other books.
I've seen it in other places.
I'm, I'm sure that at York willbe posting something about a
journey in a thousand miles atsome point in time because I've
become a daily devotee of hiswisdoms.
Good.
Good.
That you just gotta make suchvoice like what are we gonna do?
(23:36):
And there, there are a lot offamilies out there and I feel
like there are a lot of familiesout there who can throw money at
a problem.
It's very easy for Paul in CSAand write a check with a big
comma and say, do the recruitingfor us.
And I just still don't know thatyou're gonna get what you're
really looking for.
No, they're not gonna do it foryou either.
(23:57):
You're still gonna have to havebuy-in.
It's not automatic.
Yeah.
I, you can't write a$5,000check, a$10,000 check, a$15,000
check and say, division onescholarship coming your way.
This doesn't work that way.
You've gotta you've gotta, likethe school's gotta love you.
They gotta commit to you.
You have to be good enough.
This is a place where you can'tjust throw money at it and
(24:19):
expect it to happen.
You've gotta put time, effort,and.
Sweat equity into it.
But at the same time, a again,like I said earlier, if it's not
your kid's dream and it's yourdream it's gonna fail.
At some point in time, it'sgonna fail.
Whether it's the first day ofpractice or at the end of their
(24:40):
freshman year.
I just had a conversation withsomeone I used to work with
whose daughter is playing NAIA.
Basketball in Fort Wayne area atNAI School and I just asked her
because of Kelsey's interest inan I school and I just wanted
very familiar with ncaa.
We're all familiar with that.
But the NAII wanted to talk toher and I, what was her
(25:01):
experience?
And she really walked me throughher daughter's experience with
college athletics because shewas a basketball player.
Took her senior summer off afterher senior year and showed up
outta shape and she said acoach.
Was a very different coach whenwe started than he was when he
was recruiting.
He was very nice.
And then when she came in out ofshape, he was not so nice and
(25:25):
this mother said, yeah, hewasn't nice, but he was wrong.
And we told her, you're takingoff.
You need to get out and lookout.
You need to do your stuff.
And she showed up outta shapeand it, think she was ready to
come home because it was hard.
Yeah, you've gotta put the workin you as a parent though you,
if you are sending the emailsfor your kid, it's gonna fail
(25:48):
there.
The coach is gonna see throughthat.
If your math, emailing peoplelooking for it.
If your whole recruiting journeyis, I just need my kid to pay
for college because it'sexpensive and I need their
athletics to pay for it.
So something's gonna break downsomewhere and that's probably
not gonna work.
You, it's, it has to besomething they're passionate
(26:09):
about.
It has to be something they'regonna gain from personally for
their future, because you learna lot from athletics, whether
that's an individual sport or ateam sport.
You learn valuable lessons thatI know personally, playing
sports, growing up and evenplaying, briefly in college and
coaching team sports, that itdrove my career in a lot of
(26:30):
ways.
It helped me get ahead.
Because of the lessons I learnedand the ability to work with
people and just the work effort,like putting the sweat in
sometimes to doing your job andbeing willing to do things other
people aren't willing to do.
And if your athlete isn'twilling to put the work in when
you're doing all the work forthem, they're not gonna have a
good experience recruiting.
(26:52):
They're probably not gonna endup in a place where they're
happy.
They're not gonna be excitedabout playing that sport any
it's gotta be personal effortand work by the athlete.
They need to have an email youthem, and you can help'em get a
YouTube page going, set up theirprofile.
That's, to me, that's nothelicopter planning.
That's just let's make it lookprofessional.
(27:13):
Yeah, exactly.
But if you're writing theirpersonal statements for them,
or, I might correct some,actually my kids probably
correct Grant better than I do.
I don't talk so goodly all thetime, but you're doing those
things for'em.
Yeah, you think you're helping,but in the long run it's gonna
fail.
The kid has to, your athlete hasto accept that responsibility
(27:36):
and make it a passion for themin order to be successful in the
recruiting journey.
I.
It's a marathon.
It's a long way around.
Like some people, maybe you findyour first fall and you fall in
love with that school and that'sthe right school for you.
Great.
That's, I think that's few andfar between.
Look at all your options.
(27:57):
Don't count out.
Division two.
Don't count out Division three.
Don't think, don't look at theprice tag on the school and
think, boy that's more than.
What we could ever pay.
Wait until they, your fafsa, doall your other stuff, see what
they say, see what kind ofacademic offers they have.
These schools wouldn't be filledwith these athletes if they were
(28:17):
all paying full tuition atdivision three schools.
NAI schools like a lot ofsports, all of those sports are
that have, division two NAIA,they're cutting their
scholarships up.
They don't have full ride forevery athlete.
That doesn't thing that's adivision one thing.
And that's also a landscapethat's rapidly changing as we
(28:39):
see and changing so quickly thatI don't have a handle on it.
I don't know that, you in thisbusiness have a good grasp on
it.
I've listened to some of thepodcasts where the coaches said.
Yeah.
My athletic director will tellme what we can do, and that's
what I'll go by.
Yeah.
That's what it comes down to.
They're still figuring it out.
Yeah.
I'm interested in, because wehave daughters that are the same
(29:00):
age, they're both 16, they'reboth going through this journey
and the highs and lows of theiremotions that they go through
every day, every second.
It seems what has having.
The recruit, the significantrecruiting book, having the
significant recruiting launchpadclasses, what's that done for
her to help her understand alittle bit of that routine and
(29:24):
consistency and that it is amarathon and not a sprint?
Is there one or two things thatshe's taken from it that's
helped her have that confidenceto say, you know what, I can do
this for five minutes a week.
I feel like what's.
Taken off, which is don't sendthe same meetup email to every
coach.
Don't send the same thing toevery school.
(29:46):
And I tell her like, she's hadsome phone calls with different
schools four, four or fiveschools have, he's had actual
calls with coaches online, zoomcalls, like this kind of thing.
Okay.
Where she's had those.
And I tell her, like I told herlike, before you send an email.
Make a connection, read aboutschool.
Jump on their website, see whattheir schedule looks like, see
(30:08):
what their coaches are like, seehow long the coaches have been
there, see what their recordshave been, see where they're
from.
Or maybe you know, somebody theyknow or maybe they coached at a
school that you know, somebodyat, like making connections.
'cause that's a lot of it.
Like a lot of times theconnections are better than your
athletics like.
Hey, we have somebody in common.
(30:29):
I'm gonna reach out to them.
If they like you, then I'll likeyou.
Yeah.
Those connections are important.
I tell her to research theschools, research the coaches,
not stock'em, but at the sametime like have an idea of who
they are and what they're aboutand where they're going and
where they want to see theirprogram.
We talk about the programculture, like try to figure it
out before you even talk to'em.
Is that a place you'd beinterested in going?
(30:50):
If this school has been 500 forthe last.
10 years and they've gonethrough seven coaches.
You think your coach is gonnaturn it around that's recruiting
you and you're gonna, that'sgonna be there in four years.
Or do you think that this coachhas been here 10 years, they've
got a house, they live here,they'll have kids in the school
districts around, those areschools that might want to have
(31:12):
some stability to'em.
There are a lot of coaches thatstay in places long term.
College no long has, she's beenthere.
She's gonna, feel like that's agreat place to be a, people to
look at for their daughtersplaying volleyball, even though
it's division three.
If you, I listened to hers and Iwas like, man, I told Kelsey, I
was like, you guys go to thisteam camp and it's a long way
away.
It's a lot of money, hope's alot closer.
(31:34):
Really what she says, how theyrun team camp.
And you should talk to the coachnext year when you're a senior
and you should go to team campthere.
I think you get a lot out of it.
Yeah, that really makes sense tome.
There are great coaches in allthese levels, but don't write it
off.
Yeah.
Coach does it special at hope.
She's really unique in herapproach.
Your daughter's in her junioryear.
(31:56):
What excites you most and whatstill makes you a little bit
nervous about the recruitingprocess?
Let me, lemme start with the.
Nervous.
What makes me nervous is, makinga bad decision, like picking a
school that doesn't fit her, orpicking a school that just isn't
and isn't a good fit,athletically, academically,
(32:17):
socially, hopefully, all ofthose things that, that's, that
scares me.
The advice I would give is, andthis, the conversation I talked
about was my friend whosedaughter's playing NAIA
basketball.
And he said, honestly, theirdaughter, she, Rachel said, they
told her, it's up to you.
It's your choice where you wannago.
(32:38):
And she looked at it, she lookedat price tag and said, they're
giving me the best deal.
I'm going there.
Maybe for some families that isthe only, the only way you're
gonna go to college if that, ifmoney is the reason you pick
your school, the only reason youpick your school that's a red
flag to me.
Yeah.
You might have to scrimp andsave a little more to go to a
(32:59):
better school.
Or maybe this school's offeringyou 60% off and this school, the
other school's offering you, 75%off.
But the other school, they haveyour major, but they, it's just
it's an afterthought.
And the other school, it's knownfor your major.
That'd be the place to go.
Pick the right school for you.
(33:19):
They're all gonna turn pro.
All these college athletes aregonna turn pro, but very few of
'em are gonna be pros in whattheir sport is.
And I, that even includes theones that go into high level
coaching.
Yeah.
The percentage of those athletesthat are gonna make a career out
of athletics, it's pretty low.
That scares me.
What excites me is, just thejourney.
(33:39):
Just like I fun.
Let's be honest, it's fun totake your kid to a college.
Walk through it and meet thecoach and see the facilities and
me, the dorm again.
Yeah.
Like I did years and years ago.
And then to see some of thesedorms and some of these schools,
I'm like that's nicer than myhouse.
And that some of them are prettynice.
(34:00):
But yeah that those are thethings, that's exciting, that's
fun watching her continue toplay and develop.
I think Kelsey switched clubsthis year.
The club she was at, she didn'tget the offer she wanted for her
team, and she told him, no, I'mnot gonna go.
And so at the last minute hejust said, I'm gonna go to this
club and, in a nearby town, herein Indianapolis.
(34:20):
And not knowing anybody, notknowing whether she'd make a
team, we went down and said,this is where I'm gonna throw my
lot.
And she went down, balled outand they said, yeah, we want you
on our team.
That's great.
And I thought that's thatconfidence.
And maybe that's where thatcompetence is in going to some
of those camp this summer andgoing through this process.
And maybe that's where it was.
And I was like I was reallyworried that he wasn't gonna get
(34:43):
an offer from this other one,and we were gonna have to go
back and be the other okay, theoffer, even though we turned it
down, it was a week ago, I wasworried.
And then I thought, what are wegonna do if we don't have a
club?
He's at a critical point, likefor ability level.
A lot of the 25 Evans involleyball are starting to
commit.
And those are all, the D onecommits those are the highest
(35:04):
ranked athletes.
Now.
Yeah.
Things are gonna start totrickle down.
The D twos and the AI are gonnacommit.
D threes are gonna commit andthen everybody else is gonna
start looking at the glucose.
And you want the first bite atthe apple and you wanna bite on
the apple that you wanna bite ondon't pick your school too soon.
It don't wait too long either.
Find the right set.
(35:25):
Brian, I'm starting to think Ishould take you on tour.
I think you you know my stuffbetter than I do in my books and
my launch pads I am, I'm devotedlistener.
The podcast alone to get morefrom parents and coaches.
I think one of the things yousaid early on was why you
created this.
Was there, there wasn't anybodyteaching people how to be an
(35:46):
athletic director, how to be acoach and those are needed
because I think a lot of peoplewho are coaches coach the way
they were coached.
Yeah.
And I, that's not always thebest way.
Not every kid responds to theold ways.
I don't think that maybe the newways are always right either.
You gotta learn how to deal withpeople and you gotta learn how
(36:09):
to put your point across andthey're on the podcast itself.
I've learned a lot personallyand professionally about like
how to deal with people.
I'm a supervisor, I lead people,they're a good left in all of
that.
And like I said there, I haven'tlistened to one of your
podcasts.
I'm, I've just about gottenthrough all of them.
(36:30):
That I didn't pick up sometidbit from somebody like even
botanic at Oregon State.
Coaching, hitting I pick upstuff from him, like he says,
not just about hitting, aboutcoaching and about leading and
about life.
Yeah.
All of those things areimportant.
And then, oh the MetropolitanState Coach Jen Jenny Glenn,
(36:50):
coach Glenn, Jenny.
Yeah that's probably my favoriteepisode.
I'm trying to get Kelsey tolisten to that the other day.
And she, it was after atournament and she just wanted
to put her EarPods in, like whatshe says and the way she
develops people.
If I was a company looking foremployees, I'd hire her kids
because I know they're gonna beleaders.
Yeah, like I, I just just today,yesterday I got the book
(37:12):
Habitudes because I'm like,Kelsey, we're gonna read this.
Yeah.
That makes sense to me.
There's a lot of stuff.
I read a lot of books growing upon leadership and management and
development and all those thingsstuck with me and I'm still
learning and, be a lifelonglearner on those things.
I'm gonna try to push load onKelsey.
For me and Kelsey, one of thebiggest things is just trying to
(37:33):
get her to trust the process.
Trying to get her to be like I,I don't need to do that, or I
don't need to post that.
Or I posted something last week.
No, you don't know who's gonnasee it.
You don't know when it's gonnaresonate with the right person.
Yeah.
Keep putting yourself out there.
Yep.
Getting her to be and Kelseyloves to win.
He wants to be the one, like Isaid, she wants to be on the
(37:55):
line when the game's on theline.
She wants to be in the pressuresituation.
She doesn't wanna have aspotlight on her.
And that's just who she is.
Like she doesn't wanna be like,that's why she's a great setter.
She wants to make others lookgood.
Yeah.
She doesn't wanna be theprimadonna, she wants to be a
team player and lead quietly,vocally on the court, but not
have a spotlight on her.
(38:15):
And I keep telling her like,sometimes you gotta promote.
Now, not to a fault or not toomuch, but you have to promote
yourself and be ready to dothose things and put yourself
out there.
That's why the phone calls areimportant.
The coach can see a little bitof you in an email when they
hear your voice and they hearthe passion about, the game.
How much do you love volleyballand how much you like blank and
(38:37):
like how hard you are on thegarage door.
From banging the ball against itand the roof like this when it's
dark and that you're getting upearly and going and running and
doing those things.
She just went to, this is whatI'm really proud of.
She just went to late to summer.
She went to an NAIA school inKentucky, and you and I have
talked about it and that's,they're very interested in her.
(38:59):
The University of Cumberlands,I'll just say it.
They seemed very interested inher and they did on Prospect
Campus.
She went to, and they did'em.
Part of the camp was they did alittle fitness challenge with
all the campers and I can't evenremember what the exercise was.
They did, but they had to do somany reps, and Pel was the only
one out of the campers that didas many reps as any kid on the
college team.
(39:19):
But she was like, the most, waslike, I don't even think he
worked out that hard yet.
But you're showing out.
That's the stress and thepressure I love to see from her.
I'm like, keep working becauseyou're gonna have to put the
work in, you're gonna have tocontinue to put.
That's the other thing I'd sayalso is you might get an offer,
you might get a scholarship, youmight get a good offer from a
(39:42):
good school, but work doesn'tstart until you walk across the
stage in four or five years witha diploma from that university
or that college grant.
That's when the work stops andthen you become an adult.
And one of the things you.
To that point and prepared youfor it.
That's what's gonna, that'swhere life's gonna pay off.
I love it.
And she's got such a big heart,and if she just keeps being
(40:04):
herself.
Every coach that comes upon heris gonna understand how great of
quality she has for theirprogram.
Brian, this has been great.
I really appreciate you givingyour parents perspective and
your passion for your daughter.
It shines through and everythingyou do and everything you say.
I wanna do some quick rapid firewith you, just first thought
(40:26):
that pops in your head and I'vecreated these questions just for
you'cause I want you to be ableto give some advice in these
questions.
But just real quick, we'll bunchpop through a couple of these if
you're ready.
I'm ready.
It's like I'm on a game show.
Yeah, this is the fun one.
This is the fun stuff.
All right.
What's more stressful for you asa dad?
A club tournament weekend orthat recruiting email?
(40:49):
Oh, the club tournament, findingparking at a club tournament.
So now I'm the volleyball dadgroup, simply like club,
tournament and parking.
I'm with you.
Yes, I've been through it off.
If you've been to the Bluegrassand trying to get parking and
taking from one side of theconvention center in Kentucky or
for the smaller tournamentswhere the.
(41:09):
There's room for four cars.
Yep.
It's crazy.
So that's more stressful to me.
Me too.
I get my 10,000 steps in everyday.
We're at a tournament.
Yes.
First word that comes to mindwhen you think of recruiting
Matt Rogers.
Yeah, absolutely.
Appreciate that.
Yeah, no that's the first wordthat comes for me.
The book I'm waiting for thejournal to drop.
(41:33):
All the tools that you have inyour book and the launchpad and
all of that.
I've pushed that on Kelsey.
I've even created a few littlespreadsheet things like, Hey,
let's track who you're talkingto and let's write these down.
And I keep telling her likejournal.
Which is hard to get her to do,but write that down because when
it comes down to it, if youlet's hope you have three or
four offers on the table, thenlet, then we'll pull your
(41:55):
journal out and let's, let'sthink about what you wrote the
first time you talked to him,the next time you talk to him,
and the time after that.
And then go from there.
Because if your last impressionwas great, but your first
impression was lousy, maybethat's not the school for you.
And and I.
I've had a conversation withNCFA.
(42:15):
Like I, I had the recruitingpitch from them and it's funny,
the guy who was my online phonecall went to my high school in
my little high school and was anAllstate player, at my high
school a few years after me.
And he's telling me this, butwe're talking, he's got a
daughter the same age as you andI, he's at the same level.
She's a df, that smaller school.
(42:37):
She went to a school that shethought she was really gonna and
he was like, make the visit.
And they went to a visit to aschool in Southern Indiana and
she got on campus and was like,I don't like you here.
That's great.
It's now, now you know.
That's right.
All right.
What's one recruiting mythyou've learned over the last
year that you're glad you knowit's not true?
(42:59):
That, oh, that's an easy, it'san easy answer.
This is the 10,000 question thatpeople, that your child's
athletic ability isautomatically going to be found
and somebody's gonna find youbecause you're the best player
on the best team, and that's notthe case.
You have to take ownership ofit.
Your athlete, more importantly,has to take ownership of their
(43:22):
recruiting journey.
Yeah, no ifs, no ands, no buts.
Your athlete has to takeownership of their journey.
Recruiting.
That's why chapter number one iscommitment.
Absolutely.
All right.
What's the best advice?
Last one.
What's the best advice yourdaughter has given you during
this process?
Oh, have you got her to speak?
(43:43):
Yeah.
I don't she's pretty quiet onthat.
I asked her like after visits orafter calls, what did you like?
She went to a division two outin Pennsylvania.
She went to LockhavenUniversity.
She really liked the coach outthere.
Yeah.
And I know they've had someturmoil, but I feel like after
meeting him, like he's there tomaybe he was junior out a
product.
(44:04):
So that makes me feel good aboutlike his thought output and
where he's going.
Yeah.
Maybe they haven't had, had thesuccess that they should have
had in years past, but I feellike maybe he's maybe gonna put
time and effort into it.
And he told me like, I like thiscoach, and here's why.
So those are the things, he's alot like her high school coach
(44:25):
only.
He is a little more forceful,but in very similar ways.
Yeah.
And that's something to thinkabout.
If she wants, if she likesplaying for a male coach, she
likes playing for a femalecoach, what's, what is it she
likes better?
And that's the other thing we'vetalked about is university of
Cumberlands is coming real closeto us in a couple of weeks and I
said, reach out to the coaches.
(44:45):
It's a husband and wife, that'sthe head and the assistant
they're gonna be 30 minutes awayfrom us at a tournament, at an
AI tournament.
Let's go over and watch'em.
I said that's when we'reprobably gonna know.
If that's a fit for you.
When we want coach, they can'tbe nice or they can't put on a
show.
They have their, they're therecoaching for their, their life.
That just their livelihood.
(45:06):
So you'll see whether you liketheir style or.
Absolutely.
I love it.
And that's a great way to, tofinish the podcast.
Brian, thank you so much fordoing this.
Thank you so much for yourcommitment to learning the right
things that your daughter needsand helping her really take
ownership in this journey.
So many parents want to do thatand they just don't know how.
(45:29):
So I'm really appreciative thatyou came on and talked about
your journey and told your storyand I think a lot of parents are
gonna get a lot out of it.
Yeah.
Your athlete has to own it.
It has to be their journey.
You can guide them along theway.
It's no different than anythingthat else they're gonna do in
life, but they've gotta own it.
I guess I'd leave you with this.
There's a lot of services outthere.
There are ton of them.
(45:49):
Just new bullet for recruitinghealth.
But I fully enforce Matt Rogersa significant recruiting, a
launchpad.
If you wanna make a wiseinvestment, especially if your
kids in that eighth grade tosophomore year, get the
launchpad, get the book, and gothrough with your kids, because
if you start when they're afreshman.
And do a chapter a week, do achapter a month.
(46:12):
When they're an eighth grade ora freshman, you'll be fed up for
success.
And if they decide at that pointthey want to continue the
journey, you equip them, takethe next step and to lead the
way.
And it takes the burden off ofyou, which takes the pressure
off of everyone.
It is a, it's a seamless, easyway to do it and it in common
(46:35):
sense way.
Of letting that journey happenorganically.
I'm not thinking my kid's onthis, somebody's gonna see how
great my kid is and they're justgonna call and they're gonna be
lined up out my door withscholarship offers.
That doesn't happen.
It's been a joy getting to knowyou and we'll be cheering for
(46:56):
Kelsey all the way through.
Have a great day.
Thanks.
Thanks, Matt.
That's a wrap for this week'sepisode.
Thanks again to Brian Hai forhis honesty, his vulnerability,
and his willingness to sharewhat this journey has looked
like for his family.
Conversations like this remindall of us parents and coaches
and athletes alike thatsometimes we have to allow
ourselves to take some chances.
(47:18):
And sometimes that chance is assimple as a risk-free
conversation with a new person.
As we wrap up, I wanna wish youand your family a healthy,
peaceful, and truly happythanksgiving.
I hope you take a moment thisweek to step back from the
chaos, enjoy the people whomatter most, and remember that
every part of this journey isabout helping your child become
(47:38):
the best version of themselves.
If you're ready to take the nextstep, you can schedule a free
recruiting strategy session withme and find all my books,
journals, and onlineclasses@coachmattrogers.com.
Until next time, stay focused onwhat you can control.
Stay humble and keep chasingsignificance.
Welcome back to the SignificantCoaching Podcast, recruiting
edition.
I'm Matt Rogers, and today'sepisode is a unique one because
for the first time, we'rehearing directly from a parent
who's in the middle of therecruiting journey.
Today.
About one year ago, Brian Haireached out looking for clarity
on his daughter Kelsey's path tocollege.
Since then, Brian and his familyhave taken full advantage of the
(00:32):
entire significant recruitingtoolbox, starting with
scheduling a free recruitingstrategy session with
me@coachmattrogers.com.
Then diving into the significantrecruiting book using the
volleyball recruits journal andworking through the significant
recruiting launchpad onlineclasses.
And what's happened since Kelseyearned her first offer early
(00:54):
this fall of her junior year andcontinues to build meaningful
conversations with collegevolleyball coaches across the
country, coaches who align withher ability, her academics, and
her priorities.
Brian and I actually recordedthis conversation late this
summer, and I'll be honest withyou, I've been tentative to
publish it.
(01:14):
I never want anything I share tofeel like a vanity project.
That's not what this is.
I simply wanted to give a realunfiltered voice to a parent who
was walking through therecruiting process with their
child.
Brian wasn't coached on what tosay.
He wasn't asked to give anopinion one way or the other.
It was just two dads talkingabout a process that can feel
overwhelming, confusing, andemotional, and sharing what
(01:38):
we've learned along the way.
Over the past year, Brian hasbecome a friend and a fierce
supporter of me and myresources.
I'm genuinely.
Thankful for the trust he'splaced in me to help guide
Kelsey's journey.
She's a great kid and it's beenfun for me to get to know her
and watch her two championshipseasons that she's gone through.
If you're a parent trying tofigure out what direction to go
(02:00):
next, or just wondering whatthis path looks like from the
inside, my hope is that thisepisode helps you trust that
everything I offer, the freestrategy sessions, the coaching
calls, and the inexpensive butsignificant recruiting resources
comes from a place of compassionand empathy.
I only wish my parents hadaccess to this kind of
(02:20):
information when I was ateenager.
We couldn't have been more inthe woods when it came to my
recruiting and getting more ofmy college paid for, and I know
I missed out on dozens ofopportunities aside from the
lucky one chance I received toplay in college.
I want you to understand, I donot make any money off these
podcasts.
(02:41):
I have no sponsors.
I have no ads.
I invite guests on who I thinkcan educate and make the journey
to college easier for thefamilies I work with and all
families who may be strugglingwith what to do with their
child's passion for theirrespective sport.
I hope you find them meaningful.
I hope you find themsignificant.
I hope that if you find value.
(03:03):
That you'll comment and sharewith another family, or take the
jump to schedule a freeconversation with me and learn
how I may be able to help yourfamily.
With that said, whicheverdirection you go next, just know
that you are always one phonecall away or an email away from
an experienced friend who onlywants to help.
I'll be cheering for you andyours, and I wish all of you a
(03:24):
happy Thanksgiving weekend.
Alright, without further ado,let's dive into my conversation
with Brian Hai.
Brian, so great to see you.
Thanks for being on the show.
You and I have been talking formonths now.
You came to me and said, Matt,my daughter's going through this
recruiting process.
Here's where we're at.
(03:44):
Talk a little bit about whereyou guys were three or four
months ago and where thisjourney started for you.
Two or four months ago, lemme goback to you even further.
Kelsey started playing.
She's a volleyball player.
She's an undersized volleyballplayer.
Plays at a small high school andplays club.
She played club for a long time,since she was about 11 years
old.
A couple last year they had alot of success with their
(04:06):
varsity.
She started varsity, they had alot of success.
They were a state championshiprunner up.
Around that time, at the earlypart of last year as a
sophomore, when she madevarsity, she really started to
talk about I wanna play incollege.
That's when it became evident toher.
Just trying to get her to apoint where understanding who
(04:27):
she is as a player, and whatit's gonna take to get to the
next level and what it takes toplay at the next level.
We started out with and probablyI feel like.
We probably started out to meabout six months later than I
wish we would've.
I wish we would've had a littlebetter plan, maybe six months
sooner, and that's what I'dstress to people is probably in
that eighth grade, freshmanyear.
If you have an idea, you'regonna do something.
(04:47):
Then start looking at where youthink you're gonna fit and slot
ability wise, and then startlooking into places that you're
actually interested inacademically and athletically
where you think you would fit.
What do you think?
It's, and it's super difficultfor an eighth grader to go, I
(05:07):
wanna do X when I'm 30 yearsold.
So you've gotta keep youroptions open.
You have to keep everythingavailable to you.
But three or four months ago,even six months ago, it was, and
it was actually about six, eightmonths ago, what really launched
me to you and to significantrecruiting, significant
coaching, the book, the podcast.
All of that was I don't evenknow where I saw it, but I just
(05:28):
saw that there was gonna be awebinar and it was gonna be with
coach at UW Platteville.
And honestly, if it hadn't beenfor being UW Platteville and us
following them so much onInstagram and how much Chelsea
and I liked watching what theydid, I may not even have watched
'cause it was like, oh, I wannasee that lady.
(05:49):
Like they're funny.
Yeah they're hilarious.
Like they don't take themselvestoo serious.
And and if you haven't checkedthat out, you should check out
their Instagram, so grow theirfollowers.
But it's it was that opportunityto listen to her because I felt
like that was a place like Dthree, in ai D two is where I
(06:11):
always felt like my daughterfit.
And I played division threefootball and I was not very
good.
So I understand being committedathletically, definitely not
being committed academically andending up on academic probation
and the cost of prevention.
Three, athletics and academicswe're not gonna make the same
(06:33):
mistakes.
My parents let me.
Yeah.
And I did coach some sports,some athletics in high school,
so I've had kids get recruited,so I had some ideas.
About athletics and what'sathletic.
And I knew at her size, at herheight, D one was not gonna come
knocking on her door no matterhow fast she was, no matter she
set the ball.
No matter how good she passedher defense, none of that was
(06:55):
gonna probably get her to, a, ahigh level division one.
So we had to be realistic aboutwhere we were and we started to
talk about it a little bit.
It was like.
I'm gonna watch this webinar.
And it gave a lot of goodinformation.
It was, honestly, it was lightlyattended, unfortunately.
It was great.
It's super information, go backand find it on your panel
(07:16):
because it's good information.
That is an excellent startingspot for anybody starting this
journey.
And I've got a guy at work toothat has a son who, he has two
sons, one's a junior and one's afreshman.
They both play basketball at,in, in Indiana where I live,
which is a basketball heavystate.
And one of'em, the younger onewants to play and I'm, I told
(07:38):
him, I'm like, okay, he's afreshman.
This is when you really need toget started.
You need to start now.
And I, here's the book, here'sthe website.
And we even talked about usingthe free services of Sports
recruits and NCSA and thosewebsites.
And it's funny because he toldme, he said, my wife my wife
told me that.
We should probably sign up onthat.
He's ah, I get these emails allthe time.
(07:59):
It's probably just some sort ofscam with this thing.
And I'm like, no, NCSA is real.
I said they can take a lot ofmoney from you if you let them,
but they also have these freetools and these free searches
and lets you see all theseschools and all this information
and put you out there.
Hold on one second.
My, my vacuum.
(08:19):
You say when?
Go right it.
So I have a guy that I work withwho has two sons in high school.
They're basketball players.
We're in Indiana.
They're crazy basketball state.
One of his sons, his freshmanson, really wants to play in
college.
I can't even wants to work atit.
He talks about him being a gymrat and working out.
You need to get started now.
(08:41):
This is when you need to startlooking at things and start
going to actual camps like DNCand putting yourself out there.
And we talked about the freeservices.
I said, NCSA and he is is thatreal?
And he said, I get me emails.
My wife said we should probablyput him on there.
And he said, no, it's, they'rejust trying to get our money.
She gets us a scam.
And I was like, no.
NCSA sports recruit.
Those are real sites and there'sa lot of great free tools that
(09:03):
you can get to put your name outthere.
It's the way to go.
He is really?
He's oh.
And he came back and said he hadto tell his wife, yeah, you were
right.
He didn't like that.
But yeah, so a lot of people arewhere we are.
A lot of people are in the sameboat and then bring it all
forward.
I needed to hear from somebodywho has firsthand knowledge,
(09:30):
firsthand information.
Firsthand ability to scout andsay, yes, that kid can play at X
level.
And that's where we got startedbecause, Kelsey played travel
volleyball with a very goodclub.
She switched clubs this year,which I'm very proud that she
did.
She switched clubs.
She's played club volleyball.
(09:51):
She spent private lessons.
We, we've invested in thatbecause it's her passion.
Yeah.
She's done lessons with a guywho is a brand new assistant at
Wisconsin.
Volleyball, was the associatehead coach at Purdue for years.
A name that volleyball peoplerecognize.
John Bell.
He did lessons with John for thelast couple of years.
He was also, an assistant coachwith the pro team, with the Andy
(10:13):
Ignite.
He's had good training, but Idon't necessarily want to go and
ask a division one coach, wheredo use my kids late or, and I
don't really necessarily counton club coaches to count me or
even really the high schoolcoach,'cause his job is to coach
the team.
It's not to evaluate my kid forhigh school.
And it's not his job to get mykid recruited.
(10:33):
And then add to our story,Kelsey's mom and I are divorced.
We live, I live very close, butwe don't, doesn't live with me
every day.
So we have a very goodrelationship and we both, invest
in her volleyball, but we alsosaid we're not gonna invest our
time and effort into getting yourecruited if you're not gonna
take the lead.
(10:55):
And getting healthy on board toyou gotta send the emails.
We're not gonna helicopterparent you into this.
If this is what you want, thenyou have to put the effort into
it.
And we started to look aroundand we started to consider our
options.
I had already had, I had alreadyseen your podcast with Be from
UW Platteville, and I've had anidea.
(11:16):
I reached out to you.
Quite honestly, I just pulled,emailed and said, look and
basically just told you thislong story I've just been
telling about Kelsey'sbackground and said, I just
wanna know if she's good enough,and how do I find that out?
Where do I go?
And that's a service that youoffer from your experience as a
coach.
(11:37):
And as a, a recruiter and talentevaluator for NPFA for so many
years, just having somebody youknow there, and there are a
hundred services out there thatwill do it.
Some of them reputable, some ofthem not so much.
And you need to pick the onethat's right for you and your
family and who you trust.
Obviously I'm gonna en, enendorse Matt Rogers, but you can
go out and find whoever youwant.
(11:57):
I, and that's where we, whatkind of where we got started and
that's great.
And I appreciate that and a lot.
My question is, let's go back tostarting early.
I love that you guys havelearned that from a personal
experience, how important it isto start early.
You talked from the beginning,you wish you would've started
six months early.
(12:18):
For those parents that arestruggling with thinking about
their child's college experienceat 13, 14, 15 years old, what
advice would you give themabout.
Take, it's really taking thepressure off of you to start
early more than putting morepressure on.
Absolutely.
Can you talk a little bit aboutthat?
(12:39):
If you get an early start on itand then you start to evaluate,
I think one thing I would saywith parents is, there's a
couple of points I'd make here.
One is don't.
Have a level of humility withyour kid.
We all think our kid is great,that's why we're, they're our
kid.
But when you start thinking, mykid's the best he's, my kid is
(12:59):
the best shortstop on hisbaseball team, on his travel
team.
He's the shortstop.
He's, he makes all tournament.
Half the time when we go to atournament, he is gonna get a
Division one scholarship.
What you don't realize is everykid.
That goes to college and playsathletics was probably the best
kid on their team where theycame from, because that funnel
gets really small.
(13:20):
And I'm not talking about justdivision one, I'm talking about
it every division.
I don't know if it was in one ofthe podcasts you did the coach
work.
And one of the things thatdistinctly stuck out to me was
you asked her, if she'srecruiting two and three star
athletes, can she compete at thenational championship?
And her response was.
Can't compete in my conferencebecause she's playing in the
(13:41):
toughest conference in theUnited States and other
podcasts, I've heard you say, ifyou put a D three, the best D
three out there with somemid-level D ones and they
played, it would be hard for youto pick out which one's D one
volleyball and which one's Dthree.
So don't, as a parent, it's sowrapped up in my kid's.
Great.
Somebody's gonna find them.
(14:02):
It's just gonna happenorganically because of their
athletic ability.
Yeah, it can like, yeah,absolutely it can.
I guess we're of an age when Isay Michael Jordan, people our
age resonate with that.
It's LeBron or Michael,depending on your age.
But for me, like Michael Jordanwas talented.
But he didn't just show up likehe worked at it.
(14:23):
And the legendary stories of himpushing his teammates to be at
his level, which they never weregonna be, but he tried to push
everybody to that level.
Except what level you're at, andbe honest with your evaluation
of your own evaluation of yourtalent.
That's the first thing.
The second thing I would say isdon't write off.
The other divisions, NAIA,division two, division three,
(14:47):
even juco, like a Division oneJUCO will give you a full
scholarship and pay for yourhousing and give you some money
for academic, supplies.
All of these things, there'sways to get college paid for.
Another thing would be make sureyour athlete, it's their dream
and not your dream.
If you want your kid to play incollege more than they do.
(15:09):
It's not gonna be successful forany anyone, no matter how
talented they are, no matter howgood they are, it's gonna catch
up with them at some point.
You're gonna run outta road atthe end.
Yeah.
Be efficient with yourevaluation.
Know that it's their dream.
And then the other thing isdon't forget about the
academics.
And then I don't, I came up withit because I was a baseball
(15:29):
coach, but I had kids thatplayed baseball for me that
played in college and footballthat played.
I had a kid that went on and wonthe ARDI Trophy in division
three that played for me.
So I've been around goodathletes, but the thing that I
would say about your grades is,and this is my analogy, is your
GPA will get you a lot moremoney for school than what your
(15:53):
ERA will.
In baseball VPA is for thosedivision twos, those NAI, those
division threes, they're gonnathrow more money probably at you
academically when they startsetting up their athletic
scholars, that money.
So if you come in with good highGPA, a good test score, they're
gonna be like, man you're great.
You're one of the best athletes.
(16:13):
We can size.
I don't have to give you a bunchof athletic money because your
grades are so good.
Yeah.
I'm taking you, I gonna stand inline for you.
So that's really important.
VPA is more valuable thananything will do on the court
when it comes to getting ourrecruiting.
It's the easiest scholarshipdollars there are.
I have a good grades.
Brian, I wanna go back totalking about Kelsey's the
(16:33):
emotional journey.
She's a 2027.
If we didn't talk about this,she's a, she just started her
junior year.
How much has getting somefeedback from college coaches as
a sophomore and now as a junior,what has that done for her
confidence that she can play?
She does have a skillset.
(16:53):
A lot of kids, they don't startthe recruiting process till
late, junior, early, senioryear, and they've gotten really
no college coaches giving themfeedback or saying, Hey, you're
really good, but if you'll workon this and this, it's gonna
make you an even better recruitfor us or somebody else.
What has that done for herconfidence and her mentality in
(17:14):
this journey?
I think I think it's obviouslyincreased her.
Confidence in her game.
I feel like she's always,because I coach for a long time,
you was on the sidelines.
I don't necessarily look at myown kid.
I think a lot of parents do,I'm.
(17:34):
He is the one I'm most criticalof, right?
He is the only one I'll say badthings about, oh, come on you've
got one job, just do it.
That's, I get on her or I getmore frustrated with her than I
do anybody else because of thatmentality of, we're just trying
to win we're just trying to begame with this.
But for her confidence, I'vealways felt like she was
confident in her game from anearly age before, he wants to be
(17:57):
the kid.
On the line at that point,serving the ball.
Like she wants to serve an ace.
That's what she wants to finishit with her serve.
So she's con she's always beenconfident in her play, but I
just see a different level, ofjust like she her strut a little
bit.
Just the way she warms up, theway she reacts.
(18:18):
I know that.
So she went to a couple of campsthis summer that were invite
camps.
She got invited to a couple ofcollege prospect camps, division
two and an NAIA camp that werepretty small and we really had a
good time.
And I think that probably openedher eyes a lot to what college
is like, what the speed of thegame is.
I've right.
(18:40):
I remember one of the podcastslistening you talking about you
could read a book between, youcould read a chapter of a book
between points and a high schoolgame.
And that's true.
Like I'm, and then watching acollege game, like the girls are
just on, and I was thinkingabout it the other night,
watching'em play these girls aresitting on a bench.
I can't remember the last time Isaw college girls not standing
up who aren't gonna get in thegame, but they stand up the
(19:01):
whole game.
But if they get called on,they're, yeah.
There's no wasted time.
They're out the fire.
So I feel like it also has madeher aware of how she needs to
tailor her game being quick.
The other thing, as she sets onher high school team this year.
She played DS last year.
So she's setting, so he's floorcaptaining more.
(19:23):
He's always positive even whenbad things happen.
And I don't know if, and Inoticed that more in the first
few games we've played alreadythis season.
She's, she's a little morevocal.
She's a lot more vocal this yearas a junior and as a setter than
she was last year as a Dsplaying with two, two seniors
that drove our team last year.
They were, they were our twohitters and who drove our teams
(19:46):
to the big championship lastyear.
So he's a lot more vocal.
Just having an idea that she canplay at a college level and
then.
She has one tool that's veryinterested in her that I think
she's gonna get an offer forafter a visit this fall that we
got set up.
Yeah.
Confident that's gonna probablyhappen.
(20:06):
That makes her feel good.
Now the only the flip side ofthat is I don't want her to fall
in love with them until they've,yeah.
Given her a ring.
I want her to keep, I want herto keep following the playbook,
the launch pads keep sending outemails.
Yeah.
Keep going with it until weknow, this isn't a committed
relationship until you sign onthe dotted line.
(20:27):
So let's look at all of ouroptions, because you never know
who's gonna come out of thewoodwork.
Yeah.
All you need is the right personto see you on the right day.
And it can turn into, for myathlete, maybe even a low level
division one, ranger, thingshave happened.
So I keep telling her like, Isend her.
We got a list from you of sometarget schools that would be
(20:48):
good for her based on her play.
And we're not through that.
But then I go and look at someother schools, I'm like, and I
think this would be a good fitfor you too, because this is
what you wanna studyacademically, if's close to us.
And I like the price.
Let's look at that.
So send'em an email anddefinitely is, it's definitely
inspiring when she gets aresponse.
(21:09):
And the thing that's hard for meto get her to do is probably
sometimes to we've had aconversation.
She's happy sending an email.
We has a hard time making thephone call.
Yeah, she's scared.
'cause it happened to her.
They answered one day and it waslike, oh yeah.
So she got really scared and, Ihad her listen to one of the
(21:31):
podcasts with girls from OregonState to play, oh.
Yeah.
Softballs Amelia.
I had her listen to thatpodcast, Amelia.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I had her listen to that oneand she said, she made a phone
call to Oregon State and thefirst call went bad and they
were on, she said her and herdad were in the car and he's you
can do one of two things.
You can let it sit there and bethat, that's what they hear.
(21:52):
Or you can call'em back and makea joke at'em and say.
Lemme try again.
She'd called back.
You know what, that's where sheended up.
She ended up at the place shecalled.
So she ended up, she's afreshman at Oregon State now
playing division one softball.
Yeah.
And that's why I keep tellingKelsey that phone call.
I just talked to her.
I just talked to her yesterdayand she's, she's having a blast.
(22:12):
Last I, for me, I see so manyparents that are stuck in
quicksand.
They're in, they have analysisby paralysis.
You took that initiative to say,I've gotta learn, I've gotta
figure this out.
And you picked up the phone andyou made a phone call.
You scheduled a strategysession.
(22:33):
You knew it was free, and youwanted to say, okay, let's find
out what free really means.
You bought a book that wasfairly cheap and you read the
book and go, gosh, there's someguidelines here.
You paid for a class, arecruiting class that.
Taught you the steps.
How do we get parents to unleashthemselves to, to make that
phone call and say, I'm gonnaschedule with a mat.
(22:55):
I'm gonna schedule with an NCSA,I'm gonna get this ball rolling
and at least try to learn wherewe need to be.
How important is that just toget off the couch and make the
call?
The there's a, there's an oldproverb that just comes to mind
that, the, every journey begins.
Every journey of a thousandmiles begins with the first
step.
And that's what this is.
(23:15):
And recruiting, I know I'veheard it multiple times on your
podcast.
I've read it in other books.
I've seen it in other places.
I'm, I'm sure that at York willbe posting something about a
journey in a thousand miles atsome point in time because I've
become a daily devotee of hiswisdoms.
Good.
Good.
That you just gotta make suchvoice like what are we gonna do?
(23:36):
And there, there are a lot offamilies out there and I feel
like there are a lot of familiesout there who can throw money at
a problem.
It's very easy for Paul in CSAand write a check with a big
comma and say, do the recruitingfor us.
And I just still don't know thatyou're gonna get what you're
really looking for.
No, they're not gonna do it foryou either.
(23:57):
You're still gonna have to havebuy-in.
It's not automatic.
Yeah.
I, you can't write a$5,000check, a$10,000 check, a$15,000
check and say, division onescholarship coming your way.
This doesn't work that way.
You've gotta you've gotta, likethe school's gotta love you.
They gotta commit to you.
You have to be good enough.
This is a place where you can'tjust throw money at it and
(24:19):
expect it to happen.
You've gotta put time, effort,and.
Sweat equity into it.
But at the same time, a again,like I said earlier, if it's not
your kid's dream and it's yourdream it's gonna fail.
At some point in time, it'sgonna fail.
Whether it's the first day ofpractice or at the end of their
(24:40):
freshman year.
I just had a conversation withsomeone I used to work with
whose daughter is playing NAIA.
Basketball in Fort Wayne area atNAI School and I just asked her
because of Kelsey's interest inan I school and I just wanted
very familiar with ncaa.
We're all familiar with that.
But the NAII wanted to talk toher and I, what was her
(25:01):
experience?
And she really walked me throughher daughter's experience with
college athletics because shewas a basketball player.
Took her senior summer off afterher senior year and showed up
outta shape and she said acoach.
Was a very different coach whenwe started than he was when he
was recruiting.
He was very nice.
And then when she came in out ofshape, he was not so nice and
(25:25):
this mother said, yeah, hewasn't nice, but he was wrong.
And we told her, you're takingoff.
You need to get out and lookout.
You need to do your stuff.
And she showed up outta shapeand it, think she was ready to
come home because it was hard.
Yeah, you've gotta put the workin you as a parent though you,
if you are sending the emailsfor your kid, it's gonna fail
(25:48):
there.
The coach is gonna see throughthat.
If your math, emailing peoplelooking for it.
If your whole recruiting journeyis, I just need my kid to pay
for college because it'sexpensive and I need their
athletics to pay for it.
So something's gonna break downsomewhere and that's probably
not gonna work.
You, it's, it has to besomething they're passionate
(26:09):
about.
It has to be something they'regonna gain from personally for
their future, because you learna lot from athletics, whether
that's an individual sport or ateam sport.
You learn valuable lessons thatI know personally, playing
sports, growing up and evenplaying, briefly in college and
coaching team sports, that itdrove my career in a lot of
(26:30):
ways.
It helped me get ahead.
Because of the lessons I learnedand the ability to work with
people and just the work effort,like putting the sweat in
sometimes to doing your job andbeing willing to do things other
people aren't willing to do.
And if your athlete isn'twilling to put the work in when
you're doing all the work forthem, they're not gonna have a
good experience recruiting.
(26:52):
They're probably not gonna endup in a place where they're
happy.
They're not gonna be excitedabout playing that sport any
it's gotta be personal effortand work by the athlete.
They need to have an email youthem, and you can help'em get a
YouTube page going, set up theirprofile.
That's, to me, that's nothelicopter planning.
That's just let's make it lookprofessional.
(27:13):
Yeah, exactly.
But if you're writing theirpersonal statements for them,
or, I might correct some,actually my kids probably
correct Grant better than I do.
I don't talk so goodly all thetime, but you're doing those
things for'em.
Yeah, you think you're helping,but in the long run it's gonna
fail.
The kid has to, your athlete hasto accept that responsibility
(27:36):
and make it a passion for themin order to be successful in the
recruiting journey.
I.
It's a marathon.
It's a long way around.
Like some people, maybe you findyour first fall and you fall in
love with that school and that'sthe right school for you.
Great.
That's, I think that's few andfar between.
Look at all your options.
(27:57):
Don't count out.
Division two.
Don't count out Division three.
Don't think, don't look at theprice tag on the school and
think, boy that's more than.
What we could ever pay.
Wait until they, your fafsa, doall your other stuff, see what
they say, see what kind ofacademic offers they have.
These schools wouldn't be filledwith these athletes if they were
(28:17):
all paying full tuition atdivision three schools.
NAI schools like a lot ofsports, all of those sports are
that have, division two NAIA,they're cutting their
scholarships up.
They don't have full ride forevery athlete.
That doesn't thing that's adivision one thing.
And that's also a landscapethat's rapidly changing as we
(28:39):
see and changing so quickly thatI don't have a handle on it.
I don't know that, you in thisbusiness have a good grasp on
it.
I've listened to some of thepodcasts where the coaches said.
Yeah.
My athletic director will tellme what we can do, and that's
what I'll go by.
Yeah.
That's what it comes down to.
They're still figuring it out.
Yeah.
I'm interested in, because wehave daughters that are the same
(29:00):
age, they're both 16, they'reboth going through this journey
and the highs and lows of theiremotions that they go through
every day, every second.
It seems what has having.
The recruit, the significantrecruiting book, having the
significant recruiting launchpadclasses, what's that done for
her to help her understand alittle bit of that routine and
(29:24):
consistency and that it is amarathon and not a sprint?
Is there one or two things thatshe's taken from it that's
helped her have that confidenceto say, you know what, I can do
this for five minutes a week.
I feel like what's.
Taken off, which is don't sendthe same meetup email to every
coach.
Don't send the same thing toevery school.
(29:46):
And I tell her like, she's hadsome phone calls with different
schools four, four or fiveschools have, he's had actual
calls with coaches online, zoomcalls, like this kind of thing.
Okay.
Where she's had those.
And I tell her, like I told herlike, before you send an email.
Make a connection, read aboutschool.
Jump on their website, see whattheir schedule looks like, see
(30:08):
what their coaches are like, seehow long the coaches have been
there, see what their recordshave been, see where they're
from.
Or maybe you know, somebody theyknow or maybe they coached at a
school that you know, somebodyat, like making connections.
'cause that's a lot of it.
Like a lot of times theconnections are better than your
athletics like.
Hey, we have somebody in common.
(30:29):
I'm gonna reach out to them.
If they like you, then I'll likeyou.
Yeah.
Those connections are important.
I tell her to research theschools, research the coaches,
not stock'em, but at the sametime like have an idea of who
they are and what they're aboutand where they're going and
where they want to see theirprogram.
We talk about the programculture, like try to figure it
out before you even talk to'em.
Is that a place you'd beinterested in going?
(30:50):
If this school has been 500 forthe last.
10 years and they've gonethrough seven coaches.
You think your coach is gonnaturn it around that's recruiting
you and you're gonna, that'sgonna be there in four years.
Or do you think that this coachhas been here 10 years, they've
got a house, they live here,they'll have kids in the school
districts around, those areschools that might want to have
(31:12):
some stability to'em.
There are a lot of coaches thatstay in places long term.
College no long has, she's beenthere.
She's gonna, feel like that's agreat place to be a, people to
look at for their daughtersplaying volleyball, even though
it's division three.
If you, I listened to hers and Iwas like, man, I told Kelsey, I
was like, you guys go to thisteam camp and it's a long way
away.
It's a lot of money, hope's alot closer.
(31:34):
Really what she says, how theyrun team camp.
And you should talk to the coachnext year when you're a senior
and you should go to team campthere.
I think you get a lot out of it.
Yeah, that really makes sense tome.
There are great coaches in allthese levels, but don't write it
off.
Yeah.
Coach does it special at hope.
She's really unique in herapproach.
Your daughter's in her junioryear.
(31:56):
What excites you most and whatstill makes you a little bit
nervous about the recruitingprocess?
Let me, lemme start with the.
Nervous.
What makes me nervous is, makinga bad decision, like picking a
school that doesn't fit her, orpicking a school that just isn't
and isn't a good fit,athletically, academically,
(32:17):
socially, hopefully, all ofthose things that, that's, that
scares me.
The advice I would give is, andthis, the conversation I talked
about was my friend whosedaughter's playing NAIA
basketball.
And he said, honestly, theirdaughter, she, Rachel said, they
told her, it's up to you.
It's your choice where you wannago.
(32:38):
And she looked at it, she lookedat price tag and said, they're
giving me the best deal.
I'm going there.
Maybe for some families that isthe only, the only way you're
gonna go to college if that, ifmoney is the reason you pick
your school, the only reason youpick your school that's a red
flag to me.
Yeah.
You might have to scrimp andsave a little more to go to a
(32:59):
better school.
Or maybe this school's offeringyou 60% off and this school, the
other school's offering you, 75%off.
But the other school, they haveyour major, but they, it's just
it's an afterthought.
And the other school, it's knownfor your major.
That'd be the place to go.
Pick the right school for you.
(33:19):
They're all gonna turn pro.
All these college athletes aregonna turn pro, but very few of
'em are gonna be pros in whattheir sport is.
And I, that even includes theones that go into high level
coaching.
Yeah.
The percentage of those athletesthat are gonna make a career out
of athletics, it's pretty low.
That scares me.
What excites me is, just thejourney.
(33:39):
Just like I fun.
Let's be honest, it's fun totake your kid to a college.
Walk through it and meet thecoach and see the facilities and
me, the dorm again.
Yeah.
Like I did years and years ago.
And then to see some of thesedorms and some of these schools,
I'm like that's nicer than myhouse.
And that some of them are prettynice.
(34:00):
But yeah that those are thethings, that's exciting, that's
fun watching her continue toplay and develop.
I think Kelsey switched clubsthis year.
The club she was at, she didn'tget the offer she wanted for her
team, and she told him, no, I'mnot gonna go.
And so at the last minute hejust said, I'm gonna go to this
club and, in a nearby town, herein Indianapolis.
(34:20):
And not knowing anybody, notknowing whether she'd make a
team, we went down and said,this is where I'm gonna throw my
lot.
And she went down, balled outand they said, yeah, we want you
on our team.
That's great.
And I thought that's thatconfidence.
And maybe that's where thatcompetence is in going to some
of those camp this summer andgoing through this process.
And maybe that's where it was.
And I was like I was reallyworried that he wasn't gonna get
(34:43):
an offer from this other one,and we were gonna have to go
back and be the other okay, theoffer, even though we turned it
down, it was a week ago, I wasworried.
And then I thought, what are wegonna do if we don't have a
club?
He's at a critical point, likefor ability level.
A lot of the 25 Evans involleyball are starting to
commit.
And those are all, the D onecommits those are the highest
(35:04):
ranked athletes.
Now.
Yeah.
Things are gonna start totrickle down.
The D twos and the AI are gonnacommit.
D threes are gonna commit andthen everybody else is gonna
start looking at the glucose.
And you want the first bite atthe apple and you wanna bite on
the apple that you wanna bite ondon't pick your school too soon.
It don't wait too long either.
Find the right set.
(35:25):
Brian, I'm starting to think Ishould take you on tour.
I think you you know my stuffbetter than I do in my books and
my launch pads I am, I'm devotedlistener.
The podcast alone to get morefrom parents and coaches.
I think one of the things yousaid early on was why you
created this.
Was there, there wasn't anybodyteaching people how to be an
(35:46):
athletic director, how to be acoach and those are needed
because I think a lot of peoplewho are coaches coach the way
they were coached.
Yeah.
And I, that's not always thebest way.
Not every kid responds to theold ways.
I don't think that maybe the newways are always right either.
You gotta learn how to deal withpeople and you gotta learn how
(36:09):
to put your point across andthey're on the podcast itself.
I've learned a lot personallyand professionally about like
how to deal with people.
I'm a supervisor, I lead people,they're a good left in all of
that.
And like I said there, I haven'tlistened to one of your
podcasts.
I'm, I've just about gottenthrough all of them.
(36:30):
That I didn't pick up sometidbit from somebody like even
botanic at Oregon State.
Coaching, hitting I pick upstuff from him, like he says,
not just about hitting, aboutcoaching and about leading and
about life.
Yeah.
All of those things areimportant.
And then, oh the MetropolitanState Coach Jen Jenny Glenn,
(36:50):
coach Glenn, Jenny.
Yeah that's probably my favoriteepisode.
I'm trying to get Kelsey tolisten to that the other day.
And she, it was after atournament and she just wanted
to put her EarPods in, like whatshe says and the way she
develops people.
If I was a company looking foremployees, I'd hire her kids
because I know they're gonna beleaders.
Yeah, like I, I just just today,yesterday I got the book
(37:12):
Habitudes because I'm like,Kelsey, we're gonna read this.
Yeah.
That makes sense to me.
There's a lot of stuff.
I read a lot of books growing upon leadership and management and
development and all those thingsstuck with me and I'm still
learning and, be a lifelonglearner on those things.
I'm gonna try to push load onKelsey.
For me and Kelsey, one of thebiggest things is just trying to
(37:33):
get her to trust the process.
Trying to get her to be like I,I don't need to do that, or I
don't need to post that.
Or I posted something last week.
No, you don't know who's gonnasee it.
You don't know when it's gonnaresonate with the right person.
Yeah.
Keep putting yourself out there.
Yep.
Getting her to be and Kelseyloves to win.
He wants to be the one, like Isaid, she wants to be on the
(37:55):
line when the game's on theline.
She wants to be in the pressuresituation.
She doesn't wanna have aspotlight on her.
And that's just who she is.
Like she doesn't wanna be like,that's why she's a great setter.
She wants to make others lookgood.
Yeah.
She doesn't wanna be theprimadonna, she wants to be a
team player and lead quietly,vocally on the court, but not
have a spotlight on her.
(38:15):
And I keep telling her like,sometimes you gotta promote.
Now, not to a fault or not toomuch, but you have to promote
yourself and be ready to dothose things and put yourself
out there.
That's why the phone calls areimportant.
The coach can see a little bitof you in an email when they
hear your voice and they hearthe passion about, the game.
How much do you love volleyballand how much you like blank and
(38:37):
like how hard you are on thegarage door.
From banging the ball against itand the roof like this when it's
dark and that you're getting upearly and going and running and
doing those things.
She just went to, this is whatI'm really proud of.
She just went to late to summer.
She went to an NAIA school inKentucky, and you and I have
talked about it and that's,they're very interested in her.
(38:59):
The University of Cumberlands,I'll just say it.
They seemed very interested inher and they did on Prospect
Campus.
She went to, and they did'em.
Part of the camp was they did alittle fitness challenge with
all the campers and I can't evenremember what the exercise was.
They did, but they had to do somany reps, and Pel was the only
one out of the campers that didas many reps as any kid on the
college team.
(39:19):
But she was like, the most, waslike, I don't even think he
worked out that hard yet.
But you're showing out.
That's the stress and thepressure I love to see from her.
I'm like, keep working becauseyou're gonna have to put the
work in, you're gonna have tocontinue to put.
That's the other thing I'd sayalso is you might get an offer,
you might get a scholarship, youmight get a good offer from a
(39:42):
good school, but work doesn'tstart until you walk across the
stage in four or five years witha diploma from that university
or that college grant.
That's when the work stops andthen you become an adult.
And one of the things you.
To that point and prepared youfor it.
That's what's gonna, that'swhere life's gonna pay off.
I love it.
And she's got such a big heart,and if she just keeps being
(40:04):
herself.
Every coach that comes upon heris gonna understand how great of
quality she has for theirprogram.
Brian, this has been great.
I really appreciate you givingyour parents perspective and
your passion for your daughter.
It shines through and everythingyou do and everything you say.
I wanna do some quick rapid firewith you, just first thought
(40:26):
that pops in your head and I'vecreated these questions just for
you'cause I want you to be ableto give some advice in these
questions.
But just real quick, we'll bunchpop through a couple of these if
you're ready.
I'm ready.
It's like I'm on a game show.
Yeah, this is the fun one.
This is the fun stuff.
All right.
What's more stressful for you asa dad?
A club tournament weekend orthat recruiting email?
(40:49):
Oh, the club tournament, findingparking at a club tournament.
So now I'm the volleyball dadgroup, simply like club,
tournament and parking.
I'm with you.
Yes, I've been through it off.
If you've been to the Bluegrassand trying to get parking and
taking from one side of theconvention center in Kentucky or
for the smaller tournamentswhere the.
(41:09):
There's room for four cars.
Yep.
It's crazy.
So that's more stressful to me.
Me too.
I get my 10,000 steps in everyday.
We're at a tournament.
Yes.
First word that comes to mindwhen you think of recruiting
Matt Rogers.
Yeah, absolutely.
Appreciate that.
Yeah, no that's the first wordthat comes for me.
The book I'm waiting for thejournal to drop.
(41:33):
All the tools that you have inyour book and the launchpad and
all of that.
I've pushed that on Kelsey.
I've even created a few littlespreadsheet things like, Hey,
let's track who you're talkingto and let's write these down.
And I keep telling her likejournal.
Which is hard to get her to do,but write that down because when
it comes down to it, if youlet's hope you have three or
four offers on the table, thenlet, then we'll pull your
(41:55):
journal out and let's, let'sthink about what you wrote the
first time you talked to him,the next time you talk to him,
and the time after that.
And then go from there.
Because if your last impressionwas great, but your first
impression was lousy, maybethat's not the school for you.
And and I.
I've had a conversation withNCFA.
(42:15):
Like I, I had the recruitingpitch from them and it's funny,
the guy who was my online phonecall went to my high school in
my little high school and was anAllstate player, at my high
school a few years after me.
And he's telling me this, butwe're talking, he's got a
daughter the same age as you andI, he's at the same level.
She's a df, that smaller school.
(42:37):
She went to a school that shethought she was really gonna and
he was like, make the visit.
And they went to a visit to aschool in Southern Indiana and
she got on campus and was like,I don't like you here.
That's great.
It's now, now you know.
That's right.
All right.
What's one recruiting mythyou've learned over the last
year that you're glad you knowit's not true?
(42:59):
That, oh, that's an easy, it'san easy answer.
This is the 10,000 question thatpeople, that your child's
athletic ability isautomatically going to be found
and somebody's gonna find youbecause you're the best player
on the best team, and that's notthe case.
You have to take ownership ofit.
Your athlete, more importantly,has to take ownership of their
(43:22):
recruiting journey.
Yeah, no ifs, no ands, no buts.
Your athlete has to takeownership of their journey.
Recruiting.
That's why chapter number one iscommitment.
Absolutely.
All right.
What's the best advice?
Last one.
What's the best advice yourdaughter has given you during
this process?
Oh, have you got her to speak?
(43:43):
Yeah.
I don't she's pretty quiet onthat.
I asked her like after visits orafter calls, what did you like?
She went to a division two outin Pennsylvania.
She went to LockhavenUniversity.
She really liked the coach outthere.
Yeah.
And I know they've had someturmoil, but I feel like after
meeting him, like he's there tomaybe he was junior out a
product.
(44:04):
So that makes me feel good aboutlike his thought output and
where he's going.
Yeah.
Maybe they haven't had, had thesuccess that they should have
had in years past, but I feellike maybe he's maybe gonna put
time and effort into it.
And he told me like, I like thiscoach, and here's why.
So those are the things, he's alot like her high school coach
(44:25):
only.
He is a little more forceful,but in very similar ways.
Yeah.
And that's something to thinkabout.
If she wants, if she likesplaying for a male coach, she
likes playing for a femalecoach, what's, what is it she
likes better?
And that's the other thing we'vetalked about is university of
Cumberlands is coming real closeto us in a couple of weeks and I
said, reach out to the coaches.
(44:45):
It's a husband and wife, that'sthe head and the assistant
they're gonna be 30 minutes awayfrom us at a tournament, at an
AI tournament.
Let's go over and watch'em.
I said that's when we'reprobably gonna know.
If that's a fit for you.
When we want coach, they can'tbe nice or they can't put on a
show.
They have their, they're therecoaching for their, their life.
That just their livelihood.
(45:06):
So you'll see whether you liketheir style or.
Absolutely.
I love it.
And that's a great way to, tofinish the podcast.
Brian, thank you so much fordoing this.
Thank you so much for yourcommitment to learning the right
things that your daughter needsand helping her really take
ownership in this journey.
So many parents want to do thatand they just don't know how.
(45:29):
So I'm really appreciative thatyou came on and talked about
your journey and told your storyand I think a lot of parents are
gonna get a lot out of it.
Yeah.
Your athlete has to own it.
It has to be their journey.
You can guide them along theway.
It's no different than anythingthat else they're gonna do in
life, but they've gotta own it.
I guess I'd leave you with this.
There's a lot of services outthere.
There are ton of them.
(45:49):
Just new bullet for recruitinghealth.
But I fully enforce Matt Rogersa significant recruiting, a
launchpad.
If you wanna make a wiseinvestment, especially if your
kids in that eighth grade tosophomore year, get the
launchpad, get the book, and gothrough with your kids, because
if you start when they're afreshman.
And do a chapter a week, do achapter a month.
(46:12):
When they're an eighth grade ora freshman, you'll be fed up for
success.
And if they decide at that pointthey want to continue the
journey, you equip them, takethe next step and to lead the
way.
And it takes the burden off ofyou, which takes the pressure
off of everyone.
It is a, it's a seamless, easyway to do it and it in common
(46:35):
sense way.
Of letting that journey happenorganically.
I'm not thinking my kid's onthis, somebody's gonna see how
great my kid is and they're justgonna call and they're gonna be
lined up out my door withscholarship offers.
That doesn't happen.
It's been a joy getting to knowyou and we'll be cheering for
(46:56):
Kelsey all the way through.
Have a great day.
Thanks.
Thanks, Matt.
That's a wrap for this week'sepisode.
Thanks again to Brian Hai forhis honesty, his vulnerability,
and his willingness to sharewhat this journey has looked
like for his family.
Conversations like this remindall of us parents and coaches
and athletes alike thatsometimes we have to allow
ourselves to take some chances.
(47:18):
And sometimes that chance is assimple as a risk-free
conversation with a new person.
As we wrap up, I wanna wish youand your family a healthy,
peaceful, and truly happythanksgiving.
I hope you take a moment thisweek to step back from the
chaos, enjoy the people whomatter most, and remember that
every part of this journey isabout helping your child become
(47:38):
the best version of themselves.
If you're ready to take the nextstep, you can schedule a free
recruiting strategy session withme and find all my books,
journals, and onlineclasses@coachmattrogers.com.
Until next time, stay focused onwhat you can control.
Stay humble and keep chasingsignificance.
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