May 28, 2025 • 36 mins
Self-compassion is the missing ingredient for sustainable weight loss that many people overlook while focusing solely on diet and exercise.
• Practicing self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend
• Common signs of negative self-talk include phrases like "I already messed up, I might as well continue" and "I don't have the willpower"
• Self-compassion doesn't mean giving up on your goals, but rather giving yourself grace during setbacks
• Social media can contribute to unrealistic expectations and negative self-comparison
• Focus on tracking body composition and non-scale victories rather than fixating on weight
• Identifying the root causes of emotional eating helps develop healthier coping strategies
• Pausing and asking "what do I really need right now?" can interrupt emotional eating patterns
• Replacing negative thoughts with constructive alternatives builds a healthier mindset
• Weight loss is a lifelong journey, not a race with arbitrary deadlines
• Building sustainable habits is more important than achieving rapid results
For a free downloadable healthy weight loss grocery list and guide, visit melissametri.com or find Melissa on Instagram @theweightlossdietitian.
Thank you for listening. Please subscribe to this podcast and share with a friend. If you would like to know more about my services, please message at fueledbyleo@gmail.com
My YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0SqBP44jMNYSzlcJjOKJdg
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, hey, everybody.
Welcome back to another episodeof the Simple Nutrition
Insights Podcast.
I am your host, ilianila Campos, registered dietitian, and I am
super excited for today'sepisode.
I have a special guest with me,melissa, and today we're going
to talk about practicingself-compassion for long-lasting
(00:21):
weight loss.
It's so important, so we'redefinitely going to dig deep
into that.
But before we start, let metell you a little bit about
Melissa.
Melissa is also a registereddietitian and nutritionist,
weight loss specialist andexpert health writer with over
18 years of experience in thehealth and wellness industry.
She owns Melissa MetriNutrition, a virtual private
(00:43):
practice helping women achievesustainable weight loss.
Melissa is a freelance writerfor major media outlets and
wellness brands and is asought-after speaker on weight
management topics.
Melissa believes everyone hasthe power to improve their
health one small habit at a time.
I really like that.
It is absolutely true.
Her approach to healthy eatingfocuses on what to eat more of
(01:07):
for better health, versus whatto restrict or eliminate in the
diet.
Melissa lives in Connecticutwith her husband and two boys,
where she enjoys training forhalf marathons, reading and
traveling with her familyAwesome, well, welcome, melissa
to our podcast.
I am excited that you're here.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Thank you so much, Daniela, for having me.
I'm really excited to have thisconversation today.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Yeah, and so I can relate.
I also have two boys, and theydefinitely keep you busy.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
And on your toes, yeah, all the time.
Sure, sure, nice, um, okay.
So I wanted to know to talkabout this topic, right, because
I think in it's interesting,because I had a conversation
this morning with another clientand we talked about how, you
know, just the weight lossprocess, right, doesn't take
(01:58):
into consideration or thefactors of your emotions, right,
and as you are progressing intothis new person, this new you,
there's a lot of emotionshappening, right, maybe possibly
frustrations, but also wins,but oftentimes we don't know how
to deal with all that, and so Ithink the self-compassion is so
(02:19):
important.
Let's start there, right?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Maybe let's talk a little bit about why this is
important sure, yeah, so, as yousaid, it's something that's not
really the concept ofself-compassion is something
that we're not always talkingabout.
We're thinking about just kindof going through the motions
when it comes to weightmanagement, of, you know, having
a healthy diet and lifestyleand all of those things that are
, of course, needed, but reallytaking into account that
lifestyle and all of thosethings that are, of course,
needed, but really taking intoaccount that we're all human and
(02:47):
that, as we go through theprocess of, you know, trying to
achieve better health, you know,a healthier weight for
ourselves, whatever that is forthe person, there are those
emotions that come up, there arethe barriers and challenges
that come up along the way, andthose are the key times where
it's really important topractice that self-compassion
(03:08):
and not beat yourself up whenthings feel hard or when you
feel like you're sort of fallingoff the wagon that kind of
common thing that a lot of ourpatients may say and we just
tend to be hard on ourselves, Ithink, as as human beings, and I
think it's just helpful toremember that we are human and
that, um, you know, when thesethings come up, there are kind
(03:30):
of better strategies and ways tobe more positive.
But because, um, I know I'veseen in my experience with
clients too, when, when a clientis hard on themselves, it
becomes a longer term setbackversus, you know, kind of
brushing it off and saying I'mjust human, it happened, and
kind of letting it roll off.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Right, yeah, I love that and I think it's, as
practitioners, right being ableto recognize that and support
patients that way.
Right, like, yeah, you arehuman.
And I attended a webinar thattalked about self compassion a
little bit and they mentionedthat our biology and as humans
were able to able to providecompassion to other people.
Right, like, if we see otherpeople suffering, we lend a hand
(04:09):
, right, we're compassionate, wefeel empathy, but when it comes
to self right, ourselves, it'sreally hard to be like why can I
do that for myself?
Right, right, and so on that.
How would you describeself-compassion Like?
What does that really mean?
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah.
So I think a really good way toto explain or define
self-compassion is really just,you know, in the context of all
things like we're talking.
We're talking more specificallytoday about the context of
weight loss.
In weight loss, butself-compassion is just being
kind to yourself.
It's really, um, you know,treating yourself with care the
way that you would want that youwould treat a good friend or
(04:45):
family member, and so, as yousaid, unfortunately we don't
always naturally do this forvarious reasons, but but it's
really important and especiallyin the context of weight loss,
it's it's really about givingyourself grace when you know you
had a tough day or a day thatyou felt that you kind of
slipped on your habits a littlebit.
Because that's going to happen.
(05:05):
I think, knowing that that willhappen, to really expect that,
is really important in thecontext of self-compassion,
because everyone has slip ups,Everyone has days where you know
it might feel a little bitharder or they're in a situation
that it feels harder to stickto healthy eating, and we can't
control always everything aroundus either, and so that's some
(05:29):
of the strategies that us, asdietitians, help our clients
with, of course, is navigatingthose situations, but the
reality is that they're going tocontinue coming up and if you
have a tough day or meal or timethat you feel like you didn't
follow or do the things that youwanted to do.
So just giving yourself thatgrace and saying to yourself
it's okay, I made this mistake,you know what can I do better
(05:53):
next time?
And thinking of it in a morepositive way versus, you know,
saying something like I did thisand you know I might as well
just continue to follow theseunhealthy habits for the rest of
the day or week or however long.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Right.
Yeah, I think that it'simportant to remember, right,
that things are going to happen,right, life is going to happen.
As you mentioned, we are humanand I think, just having that
understanding like we're notperfect, right, and things are
not always going to be perfect,it's okay that we're going to
have some of these days, but howdo we respond to that right,
(06:28):
how do we move forward insteadof just staying behind and stuck
just in those thoughts Right,right, it's really good, it's
really good.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yes, for sure, and I think that what we're talking
about today can be especiallyhelpful for those that tend to
kind of have that all or nothingthinking and kind of keeping
that in mind, for someone thatoften feels that you know either
they're eating really well orthey're not you know doing well
at all and kind of, and that canbe applied to diet, exercise
and all of those things, and soI think that it's it's helpful
(06:58):
to keep that in mind.
If you are someone who'slistening, that struggles with
that, that there are things thatyou can do to change that
mindset, because that's reallywhat's going to help you to
continue to move forward, staymore consistent and really be
more kind to yourself.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Right, yeah, awesome, thank you for sharing that.
And so what are some commonsigns that either maybe you know
of, you've seen in your clientsthat shows that someone is
being too self-critical in theirweight loss journey or just
being harsh on themselves.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Yeah.
So I think you know the fewexamples would be kind of the so
they're really the self.
It's almost like negative talkto yourself, so kind of the
opposite of self-compassion.
It's really the things thatyou're saying to yourself
internally or out loud to others.
So, for example, I'll give afew key, kind of key examples
that I often hear from clientsis one is something like I
(07:48):
already ate too much today.
I might as well, you know, canI keep going.
You know the day is alreadyruined, I already messed up, and
so I might as well just keepgoing.
This is a very common habit thatI see in a lot of clients that
just think you know, I've, youknow they feel defeated and they
might as well continue.
And then also another sign issaying something or thinking you
know, I already fell off myplan this weekend.
(08:10):
You know, weekends can be achallenge, for example, for many
people, and just feeling likethey don't have what it takes to
do this long term and tellingthemselves like I don't have the
willpower, I don't have theability to do this because of a
slip up, whether it was one timeor multiple times.
You're kind of telling yourselfthat you're not, you don't feel
like you're capable, or kind ofcut out, to make these changes,
and then, lastly, sayingsomething like feeling like you
(08:32):
have no self control, like youdon't.
Again, you don't have thatwillpower.
What's wrong with me, why can'tI do this when other people are
having success?
And so those types of thoughtsand words you know, the way that
we word kind of the thoughts toourselves really matters and,
again, sometimes this may be soit's important to talk about
this.
This may be things that arehappening that a lot of people
(08:53):
may not realize, and it mightnot be as sort of obvious as
these sort of statements, butjust as a few examples kind of
the most common that I see, butjust as a few examples kind of
the most common that I see, andI think a lot of these can stem
from, you know, sort of socialmedia and what we see other
people doing, other people'ssuccesses as well.
And I think, keeping that inmind too, that sometimes this
(09:15):
negative self-talk is stemmingjust from society kind of
putting this pressure of likeneeding to be perfect and it's,
you know, that's not really thereality of what is needed.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Yeah, Thank you for sharing that and just noting
that sometimes society playsthese.
I don't know, I don't even knowthe word, but expectations,
right.
Like this is what you shouldlook like, or this is you know,
if you're doing this, this ishow you should end up, right,
and that is unrealistic, right.
Right and definitely sometimessocial media doesn't tell you
the whole story, right, peopleare probably struggling, you
(09:49):
know, doing that as well.
And so I think, also helpingour patients and clients to
understand, like, not everythingthat we see or read or hear in
social media, right, is accurate.
They probably paint thispicture right, so you can just
have this image in your mind,but in reality it's probably
completely different.
And the other thing, too, that,or the follow-up question would
(10:11):
be like how do you help yourclients manage these emotions
right, or get through thisnegative self-talk?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Yeah, so I think it.
You know the first step isreally trying to you know, kind
of dig a little bit deeper intowhy that's happening.
You know the first step isreally trying to, you know, kind
of dig a little bit deeper intowhy that's happening.
You know where it's stemmingfrom and is the first step in
figuring out.
You know, sometimes it may stemfrom you know, the person's
childhood or their parents andkind of the words that they used
and kind of what they'rehearing around them, and kind of
(10:40):
just challenging those thoughtswith them and saying you know,
do you really believe that?
Or what is another way that youcan put that to really just
help to try to change theirmindset?
Because a lot of times it is achallenge because our mindset is
sort of feels like it'singrained in us and kind of just
the way that it is, but thetruth is is that it could be
changed and modified over time.
(11:03):
Kind of working through eachtime that we meet we always talk
about with my clientsspecifically, we talk about
their wins first.
So I think that is a really keycomponent to focus on first and
foremost, whether you'remeeting with a registered
dietitian or talking to a goodfriend and focusing on the
positive, because there's alwayspositive things happening, even
(11:27):
if, for example, the scale isnot moving in a given week, and
I think that can help as aperson starts to see more of the
positives that are happeningFor example, they're getting
better sleep or they are in abetter mood and maybe more
patient with their spouse ortheir children.
All of these things are signsof positive changes happening.
(11:48):
And the more that a person seesthat and recognizes it and
writes it down to see it everyday, day in and day out, then
they're going to bringthemselves back to that and that
could be really helpful to keepthem in a more sort of
consistent, positive mindset.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Yeah, I love that I do the same thing with my
clients, right, like, let'sstart with the positives, right,
the wins.
What have been your wins?
And you know, it's interestingbecause if something negative or
challenging happened to themand every like the rest of the
week, right, or weeks, were likeso many wins.
As humans, we focus on thenegative, right, I'm like, oh,
that was a challenge.
(12:23):
And so sometimes, aspractitioners, right, like
helping the patient to see, oreven if they say, oh, I don't
have any wins this week, but asyou talk to them, you're like,
hey, that's a win, and justbeing able to point it out to
them and be like you are havingwins, right, and it's okay that
we had this one challenge.
And I love why you mentioned on,like, focusing on the I think I
(12:47):
want to stay here for a momentright, because, more
specifically with women, right,that scale, oh my gosh.
That scale is going todetermine if we are doing well
or if we're not.
Let's talk a little bit aboutthat.
How do you help your patientsto look beyond that number?
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Yeah, that's a great question because it is a
challenge and I think that youknow really how you can kind of
reframe that and kind of putless emphasis on the scale is
looking at so many.
So one big factor I would sayfirst and foremost is I help my
patients really track their bodycomposition more than anything.
So really looking at, you know,so if a person is weighing
(13:26):
themselves, they can also seewhat's going on inside their
body.
So to be able to see how muchmuscle they have, you know how
much water they have in the body, where is the body distributed,
and all of those things totrack that more specifically,
because that's going to showsome of the positive changes
that may be happening along theway.
That might not, you know rightaway, reflect on the scale.
(13:47):
So if they're, for example,gaining muscle mass and losing
fat at the same time, then theirweight may stay the same.
So if they only saw that scalenumber, they might feel like
they're not.
Nothing is happening.
So that's just one example.
But then also, looking at again,one thing I often say to
clients is that true weight loss, when we talk about true body
(14:09):
fat loss, takes time and it'snot a linear process and it's
not necessarily going to happenevery single week.
There may be weeks thatsomebody may lose a couple of
pounds and then others wherethey don't lose at all and that
doesn't necessarily mean thatthey're doing anything wrong or
that they're changing whatthey're doing.
I think when we see it's goingon for several weeks, then maybe
(14:31):
they hit a plateau.
Then we'll reassess and take acloser look at what's happening.
But sometimes there's changesin you know, depending on the
time of menstrual cycle or aperson's hydration status or
stress, like there's so manyfactors that affect that.
So I think really you know, whensomebody understands, when our
clients understand all of thosefactors that come into play, it
(14:51):
can make it a little bit moreeasier to understand that it's
not just based on their habits,that these other factors
sometimes may get in the waytemporarily, but there's so many
again reminding them of all theother things that are happening
that are great, like, possibly,changes in body composition,
changes in their mood, changesin their sleep, their energy
(15:11):
levels, they're able to liftmore, they're able to run longer
.
All of these things are amazingand really need to be
emphasized.
So to keep the person motivatedbecause, you know, if we always
focus.
I always tell clients to befocused just on the scale and if
the person is losing weight ornot, then what happens when you
(15:32):
meet your weight loss goal?
What happens when you meet thatyou know, a body weight that
you're trying to achieve?
Do you stop, you know,practicing those habits?
And so we really want to focusmore on how the person feels and
all these other benefits thatthey're seeing along the way.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
So they continue and it becomes a lifelong practice
right, yeah, essentiallyunderstanding right or creating
these sustainable changes, right, and habits that are going to
go beyond the number on thescale.
Right, as you mentionedfocusing on the body composition
, right, that we're losing bodyfat, right, um, and specifically
(16:07):
for women, the number on thescale is going to change often,
you know, from week to week.
You know you're starting yourcycle, you're more bloated,
you're retaining more water, sothere's a lot of factors, right,
and I think it's great that youwork with your patients and
like helping them to understand,like, what are the factors that
are affecting the number on thescale, but also what are the
(16:29):
other things, like thenon-quantitative ways to measure
progress, right?
Like you're feeling better,you're able to run more, you
don't get as tired, right,you're sleeping better, because
all these things are essentiallygoing to continue to help with
the weight loss.
And that can also help withjust having more compassion for
themselves, right, andunderstanding like, okay, this
(16:50):
scale is not determining myprogress, right, I'm still
seeing these other changes.
I'm still using the restroombetter, right, having better
bowel movements.
I'm able to better manage mystress, right and cope with
those quick changes.
So, yeah, that's great thatyou're also working with your
clients on that too.
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
It makes a difference .
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Yeah, definitely Okay .
Are there any specific maybeaffirmations, journaling prompts
or tools you recommend toreinforce self-kindness during
like setbacks?
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah.
So I think that affirmationscan be incredibly helpful.
I think that, you know, evenjust starting with kind of
reframing those negativethoughts, so there's negative
kind of statements thatsomebody's saying to themselves.
So I can share a few examplesof that so that you know, I
think when it comes toaffirmations and positive
statements like this, it'shelpful to write them down.
(17:45):
So I would encourage listenersto write these down, whatever
ones seem to kind of resonatemore with them.
But a few examples.
So instead of, you know, havinga negative statement such as ate
too much today, I have no selfcontrol, you know say something
like I ate more than I intendedto and I didn't really enjoy it,
I'll remember this next time Ifeel good, so kind of just
(18:07):
bringing it back to how it madethe person feel, not in a way
that they're beating themselvesup or feeling bad about it, but
really just kind of recognizing.
You know why are they upsetabout it and you know that it's
okay that this happened.
I'll remember this for nexttime.
You know me writing it down,and then that's why tracking
sometimes can be helpful, so youcan kind of see, you know, what
(18:29):
worked and what doesn't work,and then they could feel good
for the next time, so remindingthemselves that they always have
another opportunity to eat in away that makes them feel good.
Another example can be, insteadof saying I can't believe I
binged again tonight or I can'tbelieve I overate again tonight,
say, try saying I'm noticingI'm eating a lot at night.
Am I getting enough protein andfiber during the day to satisfy
(18:51):
my hunger?
Is there something I could dobetter so that I'm not so
ravenous at night?
So kind of looking at it in amore sort of constructive way to
see okay, I'm noticing thesehabits happening, instead of
beating myself up.
What can I do differently?
What can I look back on to seewhat might be causing it in the
first place?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Yeah, I really like that.
Like essentially getting intothe root cause right of these
behaviors, because sometimes welook at the superficial aspect
of it, right, like oh, I'm bad,or I'm just, you know, I'm out
of control, or whatever the casemay be, there's always a root
cause, like there's somethinghappening right, and this is why
these behaviors are happening.
But being able to help ourpatients understand that right
(19:30):
and see that so they're like,okay, that makes sense, right.
I've been more stressed thisweek, or you know, I talked to
someone that made me upset andso it was really helpful.
So, with that in mind, right,how do you help clients navigate
the emotional eating or guiltand shame cycle with compassion
instead of like judgment?
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Yeah.
So emotional eating, I think,is very common and I think it's
important to first recognizethat if you are struggling with
this, you're definitely not theonly one and that it is.
You know, when we eat we're notjust eating, we're not just
eating for fuel.
There's a lot of emotions thatgo along with it, whether
positive or negative.
And so if my clients arestruggling with this, you really
just kind of try to get againgoing back to that root cause of
(20:17):
what is leading to that.
You know, kind of taking thatstep back and evaluating what is
leading to the emotional eatingIs it a certain emotion that's
coming up?
What is triggering that?
And then trying to find betterways, more productive ways to
cope with those emotions.
And sometimes, you know, it maybe still eating something, but
having a more nourishing versionof that food, or maybe
(20:40):
combining, whether it's a sweetfood with maybe some fresh fruit
, so it's more balanced and it'sgoing to improve their mood.
Or it might be a non food way ofkind of managing that emotion,
such as, you know, if they'refeeling stressed or overwhelmed,
you know, taking a quick breakfrom work or whatever is
stressing them out and going fora walk, you know, just taking a
few moments to find somethingthat helps sort of reset them
(21:03):
and gives them that same sort ofde-stressed, you know,
management that they're seeking.
So that could be journaling,that could be again going for a
walk, could be calling a friend,and it could be just taking a
few deep breaths and juststepping out of the room and
sometimes just taking that pauseI think is probably one of the
most helpful things that aperson can do if they're
struggling with emotional eatingand pausing and just kind of
(21:27):
asking themselves what do I needright now?
And that can kind of be appliedto a lot of situations and then
see, you know, just have someof those again non-food sort of
coping mechanisms to turn to ifneeded in that moment.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Yeah, thank you for sharing that, and I think that
is so important to remember.
Right, and I oftentimes talkabout this with my patients
right, like we don't reallylearn as we.
Obviously we have someone that,a parent, that does that, right
, with a child and they learn todo that, but oftentimes we
don't learn how to deal with ouremotions as we get older.
Right, if our parents didn't gothrough that, we only know what
(22:02):
we know, and so we almost findour own ways to deal and cope
with our emotions, and eitheryou know they're positive or not
, and so if they're toooverwhelming, right, sometimes
we choose different things tohelp us manage those emotions.
Could be food, right, could besomething else, but our brains
make those connections right,and every time we feel that way,
right, we're going to thinkabout oh, I ate that chocolate
(22:23):
cake and it was so delicious andit made me feel better.
And so it's not so much that wedon't have the control right
over like we don't want to havethat, but your brain has made
that strong connection and sofinding, like you mentioned,
right, finding something thatmight replace it right or might
build a new connection to like,when we do feel sad, right, or
(22:43):
we feel like really overwhelmed,pausing or stepping away from
it or just taking a little breakand if we want to have food
after that, perfect, you know,go for it.
But at least you're addressingthe emotion, right, you're aware
of it.
You're like, okay, I'm feelingthis way and because
historically I used to eat thisfood when I felt this way, right
, and automatically think aboutit.
(23:04):
Or just it's subconscious,right, like you can just do it.
Right exactly, and so I thinkthat is important right that,
first of all, it's great thatyou work with your patients on
like how to deal with that rightand giving them these tools
that that they need and theycontinue to use.
right because they can use themanytime, not necessarily with
food right, but with anythingthat they're going to go through
(23:26):
, which is great yeah for sure.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I think it's important even just to add on
that.
You know, when it comes to kindof managing emotional eating
and trying to slowly move awayfrom it, it's okay if it takes
time too, I think, recognizingthat, you know, if you develop
these, you know new sort ofstrategies to manage it and it
doesn't, you know, kind of workreally well in the beginning it
might take some time and thatdoesn't mean that it's not
(23:49):
possible.
I think when we have these,like you said, sort of more
ingrained habits, that everytime you feel a certain emotion,
then maybe you have a certainmechanism that you cope with it
with.
Then it's going to take alittle bit of trial and error to
find the best sort ofreplacement for that.
And if it doesn't happen thosefirst few times or it feels hard
those first few times, that'sokay.
(24:10):
If it feels a little bit hardor it feels a little bit
uncomfortable, because that'sjust part of the process and it
will get easier where you willreplace over, you know, over
time, with a new, more positivehabit that then becomes your
automatic, you know, copingmechanisms.
It is possible.
Again, practice that selfcompassion, that if it, if it
feels challenging at first, orit feels that it's really hard
(24:32):
to do in the beginning.
That's completely normal,because if you have had that
coping mechanism for a long time, it's um, you know, it's just
like any habit that we mighthave ingrained in us.
It takes time to build thosehabits and it takes time to
break them as well right, yeah,amazing, and remembering that
right it not, it's not going tohappen overnight or a couple of
(24:53):
weeks.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
It will take time, right.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
And that's okay.
That's okay yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Definitely.
What are some of the biggestmisconceptions people have about
self-compassion, like just inthe wellness space or with the
people that you work with or inyour area of expertise?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Yeah, I think that's a great question.
I think, when it comes to theconcept of self-compassion, I
think that you know it's maybelike kind of over-skewed to be
something that's like, oh, I'malways positive all the time and
happy, and you know that I'mnot recognizing that there's
sort of you know, challengesalong the way, and so I think
(25:29):
that you know so.
Then we want to reframe that tosay that self-compassion is
really just again, just aboutkind of recognizing that we're
human.
It's really not saying that youknow that we're not
acknowledging mistakes or we'renot acknowledging challenges,
but we're really just kind ofbeing open and honest and
recognizing that, you know,making mistakes or slip ups or
(25:52):
whatever we want to call them,they're part of the process.
They're part of the process.
You know, changing habits is alifelong sort of endeavor and
even, you know, for someone whohas been practicing healthy
habits for a long period of time, there's still days where they,
you know, might say, you know,whether consciously or not, like
I don't want to do this today,or I just want to let loose and
(26:13):
not worry about it.
And you know, and that's,that's okay too.
It's just, you know, I thinkthe real, the real, what self
compassion truly is is that it'sjust giving yourself grace and
whenever a challenge comes yourway, that you are recognizing it
sooner.
Challenge comes your way, thatyou are recognizing it sooner
(26:35):
and over time, so that you cankind of get right back to what
you know is working for you, isgoing to work for you and that
reduces so the potentialself-sabotage that may come
along with you know kind ofbeating yourself up over things,
if that makes sense yeah, thankyou so much.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
And it's not like and this might be more for for for
men, right, that they shouldn'talso practice self-compassion.
Right, because they're men andyou know society and all that.
They're still human, right,we're still all human and it's
okay to feel your emotions andit's okay to not want to do
things.
Right, because, even for myself, sometimes I, you know, I don't
want to do, I don't, you know,want to do some things, and
(27:10):
that's okay.
Right, we've given ourselvespermissions to right for sure.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
And I think, even like, just to add on, like with
what's with the sort ofmisconception is, I feel like a
lot of people may also see,think that self-compassion can
be taken too far, potentially,like when it comes to like, oh,
everything is, you know, it'sokay, I can, you know, let this
go for a while and sort of moveto the other side of maybe, you
(27:35):
know not, not caring or nottrying to, you know, to improve
the healthy habits and and so,and again, that's not really the
concept of what it is.
It's really just in thosemoments where things feel hard
or you feel like you made, youknow, you know, didn't go in the
right path, the right direction, that you're just bringing
yourself back and you know, andagain, it's bringing yourself
(27:55):
back right away, not sayingnecessarily, it's okay, I'm just
going to, you know, kind ofgive up in that way.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Yeah, thank you for definitely making that different
.
You know defining that, havingthat difference too.
How do you respond to someonewho fears that self-compassion
might lead to just like what wetalked about, right, complacency
or just lack of discipline,like they're afraid of?
Like well, if I give myselfself-compassion, then I just not
(28:22):
gonna care, right, I'm gonna benot gonna feel disciplined
enough to do it right, right,like they're gonna be too easy
on themselves yeah yeah, so I.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
So I would say that you know that's not.
It's definitely a fine balanceand I think that it's.
It's always helpful to kind ofbring that thought process back
to what was their initial goalin the first place.
You know why did theyespecially if they're coming to
see you know myself, or you as adietitian, for their, you know,
for expertise you know what wastheir initial goal and I think
(28:52):
always bring yourself back tothat to kind of just ground
yourself into.
Yes, you want to practiceself-compassion, but the
self-compassion can be helpfulin just keeping you sort of
motivated and kind of tacklingit in a positive way, versus
feeling like I have to be sorestrictive or I have to do X, y
and Z perfectly.
(29:12):
You know the self-compassionreally is, you know teaching
them that it's more about justhaving that balance of you know
still enjoying it along the wayand still having some times
where they can say, you know Ireally want this dessert or I
want this glass of wine orwhatever it is, and it's not
going to make or break anythingin the grand scheme of things.
And I think you know workingtogether again on that, changing
(29:34):
that mindset that it's not themtaking it too easy, but it's.
It's really just findingstriking that balance of you
know how do they want to feel,and always reminding themselves
of you know why did they startthis journey in the first place,
and all the, all the work thatthey've probably already done to
get to that point that you knowthey don't, they don't.
It's not nothing is worthgiving up, you know, on feeling
(29:57):
your best yeah, awesome.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
thank you for sharing those thoughts, for sure, and
assuring them right there.
It's okay.
Not because you're having someself-compassion right in the
moments where you need them,that you know you're just going
to be complacent, right?
You probably do need a littleslowing down at times, right?
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Yeah, and I also want to add so in that too, I'm
thinking of and it's not quiteself-compassion, but even just
thinking about, I mean, anaspect of self-compassion in the
context of weight loss can bethat a person is allowing
themselves to have that dessert,or allowing themselves to have
something freely, which then, asyou may have alluded to, that
can potentially lead to someonefeeling like, well, when do I
(30:41):
stop?
Where do I draw the line then?
And this is something that someof my clients would ask in
terms of almost like the conceptof intuitive eating If I'm
allowing myself and letting goof the guilt, am I going to be
able to control the amount thatI have?
And so, with that, I think it'sgoing back to, you know, always
thinking about, like, what youtruly want, you know, and if you
truly even want that food inthe first place.
A lot of times you might, youknow, want something just
(31:03):
because it's there or becauseeverybody else is having it,
versus, you know, kind ofchoosing more wisely.
And I think that's when it canbe more of a balance and
choosing to have that you knowreally good glass of wine, for
example, if you're having, youknow, at your favorite
restaurant or having a dessertthat you haven't had in a long
time, that you really enjoy,versus having it be more of a
regular thing just because andthat's where it can become more
(31:26):
of that that overall balance ofyou know pressing that self
compassion when it reallymatters to you versus you know
feeling like it's you know, sortof like a free for all and
being nervous that you know yougo kind of on the other, on the
other side, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Yeah, absolutely.
And what comes to mind, youknow, as you were talking about
that, is that sometimes clients,right, might feel like I cannot
, they're restriction, right,they're either don't have it at
all or if they have it, it'sjust out of control.
And I think it comes withhaving these really restrictive
behaviors, right, or rules thatthey put themselves like okay, I
(32:03):
shouldn't, I'm never going tohave that piece of dessert that
I really, really enjoyed, andwhen you do have it, it's like
whoa, you know, like a kid in acandy shop, there's no
restriction there.
And then we have these cycles,right, oh, like, okay, now what
have I done?
Right?
So I think I love what you saidabout like just the addition of
foods, like allowing yourselfto have foods, right and adding
(32:27):
instead of just restriction allthe time, because we know what's
going to happen.
And that can be difficult for apatient sometimes, when they
feel like, well, I've struggledwith that food all my life,
right, so making or helping themunderstand, like, why, right,
so, maybe because it's sorestrictive, right, it's less
restrictive.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yes, absolutely.
I completely agree.
It's really just kind ofbringing them back to like no
food is bad, no food is offlimits unless you are allergic
to that food, and so really thatit's.
You know, the more that aperson is saying that food is
bad, the more they eventuallywill want it and that food has
more power.
So really kind of slowlyweaving that, you know, that
food or whatever it is into thediet, to kind of like reduce its
(33:07):
power over them so that overtime it becomes where it's not
quite as big of a deal, and thatis definitely possible to
happen.
Yeah, amazing.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
What's one piece of advice you wish every person on
a weight loss journey could hear?
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Yeah, Great question.
So what I would say is weightloss is a journey, is just a
lifelong process and I did sayenjoy the process.
You know it's it's not a raceand I know that's, you know,
sometimes definitely a bigchange in mindset for a lot of
people.
But I think the less pressurethat you put on yourself to have
(33:44):
like a timestamp on it, themore you enjoy the process of
how you're feeling along the way.
So I would say, kind of bottomline, just focus more on the
habits rather than the weightloss itself, and then the weight
loss will come.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Right.
I love that.
I love that a lot because inwhat's going to help you to
maintain that long-term right Isthe habits that you build not
because like, oh, I lost thesemany pounds in these many months
.
Okay, but do you build thestrong habits that are going to
help you to maintain that weightoff right?
Speaker 2 (34:16):
or is it just like?
Speaker 1 (34:17):
you know that's something a boot camp or
whatever for like three months,and then I learned nothing, but
I achieved my weight loss, right.
And then we know what's goingto happen, right, and so I think
that's great to understand thatit is a lifelong change in
progress, right, but that's okaybecause you're building habits
along the way, right, and that'swhat is going to help in the
(34:38):
end.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Right, exactly so I think, even taking it in strides
, in like small chunks too, ifthat helps.
I often say with clients likeif I do see that they're putting
a timestamp on things, then youknow it just feels so much more
manageable.
We say, let's just focus on thenext couple of weeks and kind
of slowly building these habitsand you take it slowly over time
so it also feels lessoverwhelming and then it's much
(35:00):
more likely to stick when youthink in that way.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Right, yeah, manageable, because you know you
have other things that you haveto do, not just you know your
weight loss journey, you thatyou have to do, not just you
know your weight loss journey,right, you have a million of
other things that you have to do.
So, melissa, thank you so muchfor joining me.
Where can your listeners, orwhere can the listeners, find
you and learn more about yourwork?
Sure.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Yeah, so I'm on Instagram at
theweightlossdietitian, I'm alsoon LinkedIn and they can also
find me on my website,melissametricom.
It's M-I-T-R-Icom and I have afree downloadable handout that,
if anyone is interested, writeon my website and it's a healthy
weight loss grocery list andguide.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Oh, I love that.
I'll make sure to add all thatinformation in the show notes.
So if you're busy multitasking,just head over the show notes
and you'll find all thatinformation.
Melissa, any final thoughts,anything else that you would
like to share with the listeners?
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Oh, I think it's really just you know thinking,
thinking positively, and if youfeel that you had you had a
tough day, then you know, just,you know get right back the next
day.
It's.
It's never too late to kind ofget back to the habits that make
you feel your best.
So just practice thatself-compassion and give
yourself grace.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
Yay, awesome.
What a great way to end thepodcast.
So thank you so much, melissa,thank you everybody for joining.
Stay healthy, stay strong and Iwill talk to you in the next
episode.
Bye-bye for now.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Thank you so much, bye.
Hey, hey, everybody.
Welcome back to another episodeof the Simple Nutrition
Insights Podcast.
I am your host, ilianila Campos, registered dietitian, and I am
super excited for today'sepisode.
I have a special guest with me,melissa, and today we're going
to talk about practicingself-compassion for long-lasting
(00:21):
weight loss.
It's so important, so we'redefinitely going to dig deep
into that.
But before we start, let metell you a little bit about
Melissa.
Melissa is also a registereddietitian and nutritionist,
weight loss specialist andexpert health writer with over
18 years of experience in thehealth and wellness industry.
She owns Melissa MetriNutrition, a virtual private
(00:43):
practice helping women achievesustainable weight loss.
Melissa is a freelance writerfor major media outlets and
wellness brands and is asought-after speaker on weight
management topics.
Melissa believes everyone hasthe power to improve their
health one small habit at a time.
I really like that.
It is absolutely true.
Her approach to healthy eatingfocuses on what to eat more of
(01:07):
for better health, versus whatto restrict or eliminate in the
diet.
Melissa lives in Connecticutwith her husband and two boys,
where she enjoys training forhalf marathons, reading and
traveling with her familyAwesome, well, welcome, melissa
to our podcast.
I am excited that you're here.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Thank you so much, Daniela, for having me.
I'm really excited to have thisconversation today.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Yeah, and so I can relate.
I also have two boys, and theydefinitely keep you busy.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
And on your toes, yeah, all the time.
Sure, sure, nice, um, okay.
So I wanted to know to talkabout this topic, right, because
I think in it's interesting,because I had a conversation
this morning with another clientand we talked about how, you
know, just the weight lossprocess, right, doesn't take
(01:58):
into consideration or thefactors of your emotions, right,
and as you are progressing intothis new person, this new you,
there's a lot of emotionshappening, right, maybe possibly
frustrations, but also wins,but oftentimes we don't know how
to deal with all that, and so Ithink the self-compassion is so
(02:19):
important.
Let's start there, right?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Maybe let's talk a little bit about why this is
important sure, yeah, so, as yousaid, it's something that's not
really the concept ofself-compassion is something
that we're not always talkingabout.
We're thinking about just kindof going through the motions
when it comes to weightmanagement, of, you know, having
a healthy diet and lifestyleand all of those things that are
, of course, needed, but reallytaking into account that
lifestyle and all of thosethings that are, of course,
needed, but really taking intoaccount that we're all human and
(02:47):
that, as we go through theprocess of, you know, trying to
achieve better health, you know,a healthier weight for
ourselves, whatever that is forthe person, there are those
emotions that come up, there arethe barriers and challenges
that come up along the way, andthose are the key times where
it's really important topractice that self-compassion
(03:08):
and not beat yourself up whenthings feel hard or when you
feel like you're sort of fallingoff the wagon that kind of
common thing that a lot of ourpatients may say and we just
tend to be hard on ourselves, Ithink, as as human beings, and I
think it's just helpful toremember that we are human and
that, um, you know, when thesethings come up, there are kind
(03:30):
of better strategies and ways tobe more positive.
But because, um, I know I'veseen in my experience with
clients too, when, when a clientis hard on themselves, it
becomes a longer term setbackversus, you know, kind of
brushing it off and saying I'mjust human, it happened, and
kind of letting it roll off.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Right, yeah, I love that and I think it's, as
practitioners, right being ableto recognize that and support
patients that way.
Right, like, yeah, you arehuman.
And I attended a webinar thattalked about self compassion a
little bit and they mentionedthat our biology and as humans
were able to able to providecompassion to other people.
Right, like, if we see otherpeople suffering, we lend a hand
(04:09):
, right, we're compassionate, wefeel empathy, but when it comes
to self right, ourselves, it'sreally hard to be like why can I
do that for myself?
Right, right, and so on that.
How would you describeself-compassion Like?
What does that really mean?
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah.
So I think a really good way toto explain or define
self-compassion is really just,you know, in the context of all
things like we're talking.
We're talking more specificallytoday about the context of
weight loss.
In weight loss, butself-compassion is just being
kind to yourself.
It's really, um, you know,treating yourself with care the
way that you would want that youwould treat a good friend or
(04:45):
family member, and so, as yousaid, unfortunately we don't
always naturally do this forvarious reasons, but but it's
really important and especiallyin the context of weight loss,
it's it's really about givingyourself grace when you know you
had a tough day or a day thatyou felt that you kind of
slipped on your habits a littlebit.
Because that's going to happen.
(05:05):
I think, knowing that that willhappen, to really expect that,
is really important in thecontext of self-compassion,
because everyone has slip ups,Everyone has days where you know
it might feel a little bitharder or they're in a situation
that it feels harder to stickto healthy eating, and we can't
control always everything aroundus either, and so that's some
(05:29):
of the strategies that us, asdietitians, help our clients
with, of course, is navigatingthose situations, but the
reality is that they're going tocontinue coming up and if you
have a tough day or meal or timethat you feel like you didn't
follow or do the things that youwanted to do.
So just giving yourself thatgrace and saying to yourself
it's okay, I made this mistake,you know what can I do better
(05:53):
next time?
And thinking of it in a morepositive way versus, you know,
saying something like I did thisand you know I might as well
just continue to follow theseunhealthy habits for the rest of
the day or week or however long.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Right.
Yeah, I think that it'simportant to remember, right,
that things are going to happen,right, life is going to happen.
As you mentioned, we are humanand I think, just having that
understanding like we're notperfect, right, and things are
not always going to be perfect,it's okay that we're going to
have some of these days, but howdo we respond to that right,
(06:28):
how do we move forward insteadof just staying behind and stuck
just in those thoughts Right,right, it's really good, it's
really good.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yes, for sure, and I think that what we're talking
about today can be especiallyhelpful for those that tend to
kind of have that all or nothingthinking and kind of keeping
that in mind, for someone thatoften feels that you know either
they're eating really well orthey're not you know doing well
at all and kind of, and that canbe applied to diet, exercise
and all of those things, and soI think that it's it's helpful
(06:58):
to keep that in mind.
If you are someone who'slistening, that struggles with
that, that there are things thatyou can do to change that
mindset, because that's reallywhat's going to help you to
continue to move forward, staymore consistent and really be
more kind to yourself.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Right, yeah, awesome, thank you for sharing that.
And so what are some commonsigns that either maybe you know
of, you've seen in your clientsthat shows that someone is
being too self-critical in theirweight loss journey or just
being harsh on themselves.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Yeah.
So I think you know the fewexamples would be kind of the so
they're really the self.
It's almost like negative talkto yourself, so kind of the
opposite of self-compassion.
It's really the things thatyou're saying to yourself
internally or out loud to others.
So, for example, I'll give afew key, kind of key examples
that I often hear from clientsis one is something like I
(07:48):
already ate too much today.
I might as well, you know, canI keep going.
You know the day is alreadyruined, I already messed up, and
so I might as well just keepgoing.
This is a very common habit thatI see in a lot of clients that
just think you know, I've, youknow they feel defeated and they
might as well continue.
And then also another sign issaying something or thinking you
know, I already fell off myplan this weekend.
(08:10):
You know, weekends can be achallenge, for example, for many
people, and just feeling likethey don't have what it takes to
do this long term and tellingthemselves like I don't have the
willpower, I don't have theability to do this because of a
slip up, whether it was one timeor multiple times.
You're kind of telling yourselfthat you're not, you don't feel
like you're capable, or kind ofcut out, to make these changes,
and then, lastly, sayingsomething like feeling like you
(08:32):
have no self control, like youdon't.
Again, you don't have thatwillpower.
What's wrong with me, why can'tI do this when other people are
having success?
And so those types of thoughtsand words you know, the way that
we word kind of the thoughts toourselves really matters and,
again, sometimes this may be soit's important to talk about
this.
This may be things that arehappening that a lot of people
(08:53):
may not realize, and it mightnot be as sort of obvious as
these sort of statements, butjust as a few examples kind of
the most common that I see, butjust as a few examples kind of
the most common that I see, andI think a lot of these can stem
from, you know, sort of socialmedia and what we see other
people doing, other people'ssuccesses as well.
And I think, keeping that inmind too, that sometimes this
(09:15):
negative self-talk is stemmingjust from society kind of
putting this pressure of likeneeding to be perfect and it's,
you know, that's not really thereality of what is needed.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Yeah, Thank you for sharing that and just noting
that sometimes society playsthese.
I don't know, I don't even knowthe word, but expectations,
right.
Like this is what you shouldlook like, or this is you know,
if you're doing this, this ishow you should end up, right,
and that is unrealistic, right.
Right and definitely sometimessocial media doesn't tell you
the whole story, right, peopleare probably struggling, you
(09:49):
know, doing that as well.
And so I think, also helpingour patients and clients to
understand, like, not everythingthat we see or read or hear in
social media, right, is accurate.
They probably paint thispicture right, so you can just
have this image in your mind,but in reality it's probably
completely different.
And the other thing, too, that,or the follow-up question would
(10:11):
be like how do you help yourclients manage these emotions
right, or get through thisnegative self-talk?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Yeah, so I think it.
You know the first step isreally trying to you know, kind
of dig a little bit deeper intowhy that's happening.
You know the first step isreally trying to, you know, kind
of dig a little bit deeper intowhy that's happening.
You know where it's stemmingfrom and is the first step in
figuring out.
You know, sometimes it may stemfrom you know, the person's
childhood or their parents andkind of the words that they used
and kind of what they'rehearing around them, and kind of
(10:40):
just challenging those thoughtswith them and saying you know,
do you really believe that?
Or what is another way that youcan put that to really just
help to try to change theirmindset?
Because a lot of times it is achallenge because our mindset is
sort of feels like it'singrained in us and kind of just
the way that it is, but thetruth is is that it could be
changed and modified over time.
(11:03):
Kind of working through eachtime that we meet we always talk
about with my clientsspecifically, we talk about
their wins first.
So I think that is a really keycomponent to focus on first and
foremost, whether you'remeeting with a registered
dietitian or talking to a goodfriend and focusing on the
positive, because there's alwayspositive things happening, even
(11:27):
if, for example, the scale isnot moving in a given week, and
I think that can help as aperson starts to see more of the
positives that are happeningFor example, they're getting
better sleep or they are in abetter mood and maybe more
patient with their spouse ortheir children.
All of these things are signsof positive changes happening.
(11:48):
And the more that a person seesthat and recognizes it and
writes it down to see it everyday, day in and day out, then
they're going to bringthemselves back to that and that
could be really helpful to keepthem in a more sort of
consistent, positive mindset.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Yeah, I love that I do the same thing with my
clients, right, like, let'sstart with the positives, right,
the wins.
What have been your wins?
And you know, it's interestingbecause if something negative or
challenging happened to themand every like the rest of the
week, right, or weeks, were likeso many wins.
As humans, we focus on thenegative, right, I'm like, oh,
that was a challenge.
(12:23):
And so sometimes, aspractitioners, right, like
helping the patient to see, oreven if they say, oh, I don't
have any wins this week, but asyou talk to them, you're like,
hey, that's a win, and justbeing able to point it out to
them and be like you are havingwins, right, and it's okay that
we had this one challenge.
And I love why you mentioned on,like, focusing on the I think I
(12:47):
want to stay here for a momentright, because, more
specifically with women, right,that scale, oh my gosh.
That scale is going todetermine if we are doing well
or if we're not.
Let's talk a little bit aboutthat.
How do you help your patientsto look beyond that number?
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Yeah, that's a great question because it is a
challenge and I think that youknow really how you can kind of
reframe that and kind of putless emphasis on the scale is
looking at so many.
So one big factor I would sayfirst and foremost is I help my
patients really track their bodycomposition more than anything.
So really looking at, you know,so if a person is weighing
(13:26):
themselves, they can also seewhat's going on inside their
body.
So to be able to see how muchmuscle they have, you know how
much water they have in the body, where is the body distributed,
and all of those things totrack that more specifically,
because that's going to showsome of the positive changes
that may be happening along theway.
That might not, you know rightaway, reflect on the scale.
(13:47):
So if they're, for example,gaining muscle mass and losing
fat at the same time, then theirweight may stay the same.
So if they only saw that scalenumber, they might feel like
they're not.
Nothing is happening.
So that's just one example.
But then also, looking at again,one thing I often say to
clients is that true weight loss, when we talk about true body
(14:09):
fat loss, takes time and it'snot a linear process and it's
not necessarily going to happenevery single week.
There may be weeks thatsomebody may lose a couple of
pounds and then others wherethey don't lose at all and that
doesn't necessarily mean thatthey're doing anything wrong or
that they're changing whatthey're doing.
I think when we see it's goingon for several weeks, then maybe
(14:31):
they hit a plateau.
Then we'll reassess and take acloser look at what's happening.
But sometimes there's changesin you know, depending on the
time of menstrual cycle or aperson's hydration status or
stress, like there's so manyfactors that affect that.
So I think really you know, whensomebody understands, when our
clients understand all of thosefactors that come into play, it
(14:51):
can make it a little bit moreeasier to understand that it's
not just based on their habits,that these other factors
sometimes may get in the waytemporarily, but there's so many
again reminding them of all theother things that are happening
that are great, like, possibly,changes in body composition,
changes in their mood, changesin their sleep, their energy
(15:11):
levels, they're able to liftmore, they're able to run longer
.
All of these things are amazingand really need to be
emphasized.
So to keep the person motivatedbecause, you know, if we always
focus.
I always tell clients to befocused just on the scale and if
the person is losing weight ornot, then what happens when you
(15:32):
meet your weight loss goal?
What happens when you meet thatyou know, a body weight that
you're trying to achieve?
Do you stop, you know,practicing those habits?
And so we really want to focusmore on how the person feels and
all these other benefits thatthey're seeing along the way.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
So they continue and it becomes a lifelong practice
right, yeah, essentiallyunderstanding right or creating
these sustainable changes, right, and habits that are going to
go beyond the number on thescale.
Right, as you mentionedfocusing on the body composition
, right, that we're losing bodyfat, right, um, and specifically
(16:07):
for women, the number on thescale is going to change often,
you know, from week to week.
You know you're starting yourcycle, you're more bloated,
you're retaining more water, sothere's a lot of factors, right,
and I think it's great that youwork with your patients and
like helping them to understand,like, what are the factors that
are affecting the number on thescale, but also what are the
(16:29):
other things, like thenon-quantitative ways to measure
progress, right?
Like you're feeling better,you're able to run more, you
don't get as tired, right,you're sleeping better, because
all these things are essentiallygoing to continue to help with
the weight loss.
And that can also help withjust having more compassion for
themselves, right, andunderstanding like, okay, this
(16:50):
scale is not determining myprogress, right, I'm still
seeing these other changes.
I'm still using the restroombetter, right, having better
bowel movements.
I'm able to better manage mystress, right and cope with
those quick changes.
So, yeah, that's great thatyou're also working with your
clients on that too.
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
It makes a difference .
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Yeah, definitely Okay .
Are there any specific maybeaffirmations, journaling prompts
or tools you recommend toreinforce self-kindness during
like setbacks?
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah.
So I think that affirmationscan be incredibly helpful.
I think that, you know, evenjust starting with kind of
reframing those negativethoughts, so there's negative
kind of statements thatsomebody's saying to themselves.
So I can share a few examplesof that so that you know, I
think when it comes toaffirmations and positive
statements like this, it'shelpful to write them down.
(17:45):
So I would encourage listenersto write these down, whatever
ones seem to kind of resonatemore with them.
But a few examples.
So instead of, you know, havinga negative statement such as ate
too much today, I have no selfcontrol, you know say something
like I ate more than I intendedto and I didn't really enjoy it,
I'll remember this next time Ifeel good, so kind of just
(18:07):
bringing it back to how it madethe person feel, not in a way
that they're beating themselvesup or feeling bad about it, but
really just kind of recognizing.
You know why are they upsetabout it and you know that it's
okay that this happened.
I'll remember this for nexttime.
You know me writing it down,and then that's why tracking
sometimes can be helpful, so youcan kind of see, you know, what
(18:29):
worked and what doesn't work,and then they could feel good
for the next time, so remindingthemselves that they always have
another opportunity to eat in away that makes them feel good.
Another example can be, insteadof saying I can't believe I
binged again tonight or I can'tbelieve I overate again tonight,
say, try saying I'm noticingI'm eating a lot at night.
Am I getting enough protein andfiber during the day to satisfy
(18:51):
my hunger?
Is there something I could dobetter so that I'm not so
ravenous at night?
So kind of looking at it in amore sort of constructive way to
see okay, I'm noticing thesehabits happening, instead of
beating myself up.
What can I do differently?
What can I look back on to seewhat might be causing it in the
first place?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Yeah, I really like that.
Like essentially getting intothe root cause right of these
behaviors, because sometimes welook at the superficial aspect
of it, right, like oh, I'm bad,or I'm just, you know, I'm out
of control, or whatever the casemay be, there's always a root
cause, like there's somethinghappening right, and this is why
these behaviors are happening.
But being able to help ourpatients understand that right
(19:30):
and see that so they're like,okay, that makes sense, right.
I've been more stressed thisweek, or you know, I talked to
someone that made me upset andso it was really helpful.
So, with that in mind, right,how do you help clients navigate
the emotional eating or guiltand shame cycle with compassion
instead of like judgment?
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Yeah.
So emotional eating, I think,is very common and I think it's
important to first recognizethat if you are struggling with
this, you're definitely not theonly one and that it is.
You know, when we eat we're notjust eating, we're not just
eating for fuel.
There's a lot of emotions thatgo along with it, whether
positive or negative.
And so if my clients arestruggling with this, you really
just kind of try to get againgoing back to that root cause of
(20:17):
what is leading to that.
You know, kind of taking thatstep back and evaluating what is
leading to the emotional eatingIs it a certain emotion that's
coming up?
What is triggering that?
And then trying to find betterways, more productive ways to
cope with those emotions.
And sometimes, you know, it maybe still eating something, but
having a more nourishing versionof that food, or maybe
(20:40):
combining, whether it's a sweetfood with maybe some fresh fruit
, so it's more balanced and it'sgoing to improve their mood.
Or it might be a non food way ofkind of managing that emotion,
such as, you know, if they'refeeling stressed or overwhelmed,
you know, taking a quick breakfrom work or whatever is
stressing them out and going fora walk, you know, just taking a
few moments to find somethingthat helps sort of reset them
(21:03):
and gives them that same sort ofde-stressed, you know,
management that they're seeking.
So that could be journaling,that could be again going for a
walk, could be calling a friend,and it could be just taking a
few deep breaths and juststepping out of the room and
sometimes just taking that pauseI think is probably one of the
most helpful things that aperson can do if they're
struggling with emotional eatingand pausing and just kind of
(21:27):
asking themselves what do I needright now?
And that can kind of be appliedto a lot of situations and then
see, you know, just have someof those again non-food sort of
coping mechanisms to turn to ifneeded in that moment.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Yeah, thank you for sharing that, and I think that
is so important to remember.
Right, and I oftentimes talkabout this with my patients
right, like we don't reallylearn as we.
Obviously we have someone that,a parent, that does that, right
, with a child and they learn todo that, but oftentimes we
don't learn how to deal with ouremotions as we get older.
Right, if our parents didn't gothrough that, we only know what
(22:02):
we know, and so we almost findour own ways to deal and cope
with our emotions, and eitheryou know they're positive or not
, and so if they're toooverwhelming, right, sometimes
we choose different things tohelp us manage those emotions.
Could be food, right, could besomething else, but our brains
make those connections right,and every time we feel that way,
right, we're going to thinkabout oh, I ate that chocolate
(22:23):
cake and it was so delicious andit made me feel better.
And so it's not so much that wedon't have the control right
over like we don't want to havethat, but your brain has made
that strong connection and sofinding, like you mentioned,
right, finding something thatmight replace it right or might
build a new connection to like,when we do feel sad, right, or
(22:43):
we feel like really overwhelmed,pausing or stepping away from
it or just taking a little breakand if we want to have food
after that, perfect, you know,go for it.
But at least you're addressingthe emotion, right, you're aware
of it.
You're like, okay, I'm feelingthis way and because
historically I used to eat thisfood when I felt this way, right
, and automatically think aboutit.
(23:04):
Or just it's subconscious,right, like you can just do it.
Right exactly, and so I thinkthat is important right that,
first of all, it's great thatyou work with your patients on
like how to deal with that rightand giving them these tools
that that they need and theycontinue to use.
right because they can use themanytime, not necessarily with
food right, but with anythingthat they're going to go through
(23:26):
, which is great yeah for sure.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I think it's important even just to add on
that.
You know, when it comes to kindof managing emotional eating
and trying to slowly move awayfrom it, it's okay if it takes
time too, I think, recognizingthat, you know, if you develop
these, you know new sort ofstrategies to manage it and it
doesn't, you know, kind of workreally well in the beginning it
might take some time and thatdoesn't mean that it's not
(23:49):
possible.
I think when we have these,like you said, sort of more
ingrained habits, that everytime you feel a certain emotion,
then maybe you have a certainmechanism that you cope with it
with.
Then it's going to take alittle bit of trial and error to
find the best sort ofreplacement for that.
And if it doesn't happen thosefirst few times or it feels hard
those first few times, that'sokay.
(24:10):
If it feels a little bit hardor it feels a little bit
uncomfortable, because that'sjust part of the process and it
will get easier where you willreplace over, you know, over
time, with a new, more positivehabit that then becomes your
automatic, you know, copingmechanisms.
It is possible.
Again, practice that selfcompassion, that if it, if it
feels challenging at first, orit feels that it's really hard
(24:32):
to do in the beginning.
That's completely normal,because if you have had that
coping mechanism for a long time, it's um, you know, it's just
like any habit that we mighthave ingrained in us.
It takes time to build thosehabits and it takes time to
break them as well right, yeah,amazing, and remembering that
right it not, it's not going tohappen overnight or a couple of
(24:53):
weeks.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
It will take time, right.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
And that's okay.
That's okay yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Definitely.
What are some of the biggestmisconceptions people have about
self-compassion, like just inthe wellness space or with the
people that you work with or inyour area of expertise?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Yeah, I think that's a great question.
I think, when it comes to theconcept of self-compassion, I
think that you know it's maybelike kind of over-skewed to be
something that's like, oh, I'malways positive all the time and
happy, and you know that I'mnot recognizing that there's
sort of you know, challengesalong the way, and so I think
(25:29):
that you know so.
Then we want to reframe that tosay that self-compassion is
really just again, just aboutkind of recognizing that we're
human.
It's really not saying that youknow that we're not
acknowledging mistakes or we'renot acknowledging challenges,
but we're really just kind ofbeing open and honest and
recognizing that, you know,making mistakes or slip ups or
(25:52):
whatever we want to call them,they're part of the process.
They're part of the process.
You know, changing habits is alifelong sort of endeavor and
even, you know, for someone whohas been practicing healthy
habits for a long period of time, there's still days where they,
you know, might say, you know,whether consciously or not, like
I don't want to do this today,or I just want to let loose and
(26:13):
not worry about it.
And you know, and that's,that's okay too.
It's just, you know, I thinkthe real, the real, what self
compassion truly is is that it'sjust giving yourself grace and
whenever a challenge comes yourway, that you are recognizing it
sooner.
Challenge comes your way, thatyou are recognizing it sooner
(26:35):
and over time, so that you cankind of get right back to what
you know is working for you, isgoing to work for you and that
reduces so the potentialself-sabotage that may come
along with you know kind ofbeating yourself up over things,
if that makes sense yeah, thankyou so much.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
And it's not like and this might be more for for for
men, right, that they shouldn'talso practice self-compassion.
Right, because they're men andyou know society and all that.
They're still human, right,we're still all human and it's
okay to feel your emotions andit's okay to not want to do
things.
Right, because, even for myself, sometimes I, you know, I don't
want to do, I don't, you know,want to do some things, and
(27:10):
that's okay.
Right, we've given ourselvespermissions to right for sure.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
And I think, even like, just to add on, like with
what's with the sort ofmisconception is, I feel like a
lot of people may also see,think that self-compassion can
be taken too far, potentially,like when it comes to like, oh,
everything is, you know, it'sokay, I can, you know, let this
go for a while and sort of moveto the other side of maybe, you
(27:35):
know not, not caring or nottrying to, you know, to improve
the healthy habits and and so,and again, that's not really the
concept of what it is.
It's really just in thosemoments where things feel hard
or you feel like you made, youknow, you know, didn't go in the
right path, the right direction, that you're just bringing
yourself back and you know, andagain, it's bringing yourself
(27:55):
back right away, not sayingnecessarily, it's okay, I'm just
going to, you know, kind ofgive up in that way.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Yeah, thank you for definitely making that different
.
You know defining that, havingthat difference too.
How do you respond to someonewho fears that self-compassion
might lead to just like what wetalked about, right, complacency
or just lack of discipline,like they're afraid of?
Like well, if I give myselfself-compassion, then I just not
(28:22):
gonna care, right, I'm gonna benot gonna feel disciplined
enough to do it right, right,like they're gonna be too easy
on themselves yeah yeah, so I.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
So I would say that you know that's not.
It's definitely a fine balanceand I think that it's.
It's always helpful to kind ofbring that thought process back
to what was their initial goalin the first place.
You know why did theyespecially if they're coming to
see you know myself, or you as adietitian, for their, you know,
for expertise you know what wastheir initial goal and I think
(28:52):
always bring yourself back tothat to kind of just ground
yourself into.
Yes, you want to practiceself-compassion, but the
self-compassion can be helpfulin just keeping you sort of
motivated and kind of tacklingit in a positive way, versus
feeling like I have to be sorestrictive or I have to do X, y
and Z perfectly.
(29:12):
You know the self-compassionreally is, you know teaching
them that it's more about justhaving that balance of you know
still enjoying it along the wayand still having some times
where they can say, you know Ireally want this dessert or I
want this glass of wine orwhatever it is, and it's not
going to make or break anythingin the grand scheme of things.
And I think you know workingtogether again on that, changing
(29:34):
that mindset that it's not themtaking it too easy, but it's.
It's really just findingstriking that balance of you
know how do they want to feel,and always reminding themselves
of you know why did they startthis journey in the first place,
and all the, all the work thatthey've probably already done to
get to that point that you knowthey don't, they don't.
It's not nothing is worthgiving up, you know, on feeling
(29:57):
your best yeah, awesome.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
thank you for sharing those thoughts, for sure, and
assuring them right there.
It's okay.
Not because you're having someself-compassion right in the
moments where you need them,that you know you're just going
to be complacent, right?
You probably do need a littleslowing down at times, right?
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Yeah, and I also want to add so in that too, I'm
thinking of and it's not quiteself-compassion, but even just
thinking about, I mean, anaspect of self-compassion in the
context of weight loss can bethat a person is allowing
themselves to have that dessert,or allowing themselves to have
something freely, which then, asyou may have alluded to, that
can potentially lead to someonefeeling like, well, when do I
(30:41):
stop?
Where do I draw the line then?
And this is something that someof my clients would ask in
terms of almost like the conceptof intuitive eating If I'm
allowing myself and letting goof the guilt, am I going to be
able to control the amount thatI have?
And so, with that, I think it'sgoing back to, you know, always
thinking about, like, what youtruly want, you know, and if you
truly even want that food inthe first place.
A lot of times you might, youknow, want something just
(31:03):
because it's there or becauseeverybody else is having it,
versus, you know, kind ofchoosing more wisely.
And I think that's when it canbe more of a balance and
choosing to have that you knowreally good glass of wine, for
example, if you're having, youknow, at your favorite
restaurant or having a dessertthat you haven't had in a long
time, that you really enjoy,versus having it be more of a
regular thing just because andthat's where it can become more
(31:26):
of that that overall balance ofyou know pressing that self
compassion when it reallymatters to you versus you know
feeling like it's you know, sortof like a free for all and
being nervous that you know yougo kind of on the other, on the
other side, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Yeah, absolutely.
And what comes to mind, youknow, as you were talking about
that, is that sometimes clients,right, might feel like I cannot
, they're restriction, right,they're either don't have it at
all or if they have it, it'sjust out of control.
And I think it comes withhaving these really restrictive
behaviors, right, or rules thatthey put themselves like okay, I
(32:03):
shouldn't, I'm never going tohave that piece of dessert that
I really, really enjoyed, andwhen you do have it, it's like
whoa, you know, like a kid in acandy shop, there's no
restriction there.
And then we have these cycles,right, oh, like, okay, now what
have I done?
Right?
So I think I love what you saidabout like just the addition of
foods, like allowing yourselfto have foods, right and adding
(32:27):
instead of just restriction allthe time, because we know what's
going to happen.
And that can be difficult for apatient sometimes, when they
feel like, well, I've struggledwith that food all my life,
right, so making or helping themunderstand, like, why, right,
so, maybe because it's sorestrictive, right, it's less
restrictive.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yes, absolutely.
I completely agree.
It's really just kind ofbringing them back to like no
food is bad, no food is offlimits unless you are allergic
to that food, and so really thatit's.
You know, the more that aperson is saying that food is
bad, the more they eventuallywill want it and that food has
more power.
So really kind of slowlyweaving that, you know, that
food or whatever it is into thediet, to kind of like reduce its
(33:07):
power over them so that overtime it becomes where it's not
quite as big of a deal, and thatis definitely possible to
happen.
Yeah, amazing.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
What's one piece of advice you wish every person on
a weight loss journey could hear?
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Yeah, Great question.
So what I would say is weightloss is a journey, is just a
lifelong process and I did sayenjoy the process.
You know it's it's not a raceand I know that's, you know,
sometimes definitely a bigchange in mindset for a lot of
people.
But I think the less pressurethat you put on yourself to have
(33:44):
like a timestamp on it, themore you enjoy the process of
how you're feeling along the way.
So I would say, kind of bottomline, just focus more on the
habits rather than the weightloss itself, and then the weight
loss will come.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Right.
I love that.
I love that a lot because inwhat's going to help you to
maintain that long-term right Isthe habits that you build not
because like, oh, I lost thesemany pounds in these many months
.
Okay, but do you build thestrong habits that are going to
help you to maintain that weightoff right?
Speaker 2 (34:16):
or is it just like?
Speaker 1 (34:17):
you know that's something a boot camp or
whatever for like three months,and then I learned nothing, but
I achieved my weight loss, right.
And then we know what's goingto happen, right, and so I think
that's great to understand thatit is a lifelong change in
progress, right, but that's okaybecause you're building habits
along the way, right, and that'swhat is going to help in the
(34:38):
end.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Right, exactly so I think, even taking it in strides
, in like small chunks too, ifthat helps.
I often say with clients likeif I do see that they're putting
a timestamp on things, then youknow it just feels so much more
manageable.
We say, let's just focus on thenext couple of weeks and kind
of slowly building these habitsand you take it slowly over time
so it also feels lessoverwhelming and then it's much
(35:00):
more likely to stick when youthink in that way.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Right, yeah, manageable, because you know you
have other things that you haveto do, not just you know your
weight loss journey, you thatyou have to do, not just you
know your weight loss journey,right, you have a million of
other things that you have to do.
So, melissa, thank you so muchfor joining me.
Where can your listeners, orwhere can the listeners, find
you and learn more about yourwork?
Sure.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Yeah, so I'm on Instagram at
theweightlossdietitian, I'm alsoon LinkedIn and they can also
find me on my website,melissametricom.
It's M-I-T-R-Icom and I have afree downloadable handout that,
if anyone is interested, writeon my website and it's a healthy
weight loss grocery list andguide.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Oh, I love that.
I'll make sure to add all thatinformation in the show notes.
So if you're busy multitasking,just head over the show notes
and you'll find all thatinformation.
Melissa, any final thoughts,anything else that you would
like to share with the listeners?
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Oh, I think it's really just you know thinking,
thinking positively, and if youfeel that you had you had a
tough day, then you know, just,you know get right back the next
day.
It's.
It's never too late to kind ofget back to the habits that make
you feel your best.
So just practice thatself-compassion and give
yourself grace.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
Yay, awesome.
What a great way to end thepodcast.
So thank you so much, melissa,thank you everybody for joining.
Stay healthy, stay strong and Iwill talk to you in the next
episode.
Bye-bye for now.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Thank you so much, bye.
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