November 3, 2024 • 23 mins
Are you a gentle person? Join us as we explore the concept of gentlenss in the believer's life, challenging the notion that gentleness is simply a personality trait and instead uncovering its roots as a fruit of the spirit.
Through the lens of biblical teachings, we look at Christ himself to understand the power of gentleness in action. Discover how acknowledging our imperfections and repentance can open the door to greater humility and kindness.
This episode is based on a devotion from our 31- Day Devotional called, Issues of the Heart. You can find this at Amazon. https://a.co/d/7IKduub
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to Simply Edifies podcast.
Our goal is to encourage womenas we navigate the messiness of
life through biblical studies,personal stories and practical
tips that bolster our walk withJesus daily.
Thank you for joining us in ourepisode today.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
We are going back into our study from our newest
book, issues of the Heart, ournewest book, issues of the Heart
, and today we're talking aboutthe topic of a gentle heart.
And when April said reminded meof a topic, I was like ew, I
(00:42):
don't want to do this.
And it's a convicting one.
Yes, that's why it's a good one.
It's a convicting one.
Yes, that's why it's a good one.
It's just convicting becausethe first question at the top of
the page, um, when you open up,it's chapter 13 of our, our
devotional um, the question isare you gentle?
And is that a hard question toanswer?
(01:04):
And I guess that would kind ofdepend on how you define gentle.
Um, you know we like definitionsand this is a list of antonyms
or opposites, for gentle meansevere, disagreeable, unfeeling,
(01:25):
wild, loud, cruel, harsh,unfriendly, violent,
uncompassionate, callous, rough,unkind, troubled, low, crude,
hard, merciless, unhappy,agitated, sharp, irritable,
(01:47):
surly and hateful.
So if you dare go back throughthat list and ask yourself, am I
, instead of maybe, am I gentle,am I mean, am I unkind?
Am I mean, am I unkind?
Am I troubled, troubled, am Iirritable, am I surly?
Speaker 1 (02:12):
and you can see, maybe, why I didn't want to do
this right yeah, I thinksomething for myself when it
comes to gentleness is a whileago I I had this revelation from
the Lord, I guess you could say, where I would always think of
gentle people as just like kindof mousy, quiet, like not very
(02:36):
outgoing, just an idea in mymind was a personality, and I
realized that gentleness is nota personality.
Gentleness is a fruit of thespirit and you, you do not have
to be a super timid, shy personto be gentle.
(02:58):
And I think that was kind of awell, more of a ouch for myself,
because I can very well fitinto some of these antonyms of
gentle, uncompassionate, rough,like just say it how it is type
temperament.
I guess you could saypersonality right.
(03:19):
And so we blame our personalityfor not following what God has
for us and having the fruit ofthe spirit in our life.
And I realized that like thatwas kind of one of the big
things when it came to beinggentle and merciful for me.
Like no, it has nothing to dowith your personality, I don't
(03:41):
you know, I don't care.
If, yes, maybe you're more of atruth teller, you're still
responsible for doing it withgentleness and having compassion
and mercy, and so that was kindof like my takeaway when I was
just studying gentleness as awhole personally for myself.
One time I was like, yeah, it'snot about a personality, it's
(04:04):
not about myself.
One time I was like, yeah, it'snot about a personality, it's
not about you know how outgoingyou are.
And that's the thing where Ithink in our culture today
there's a lot of women who arejust like, well, I'm going to
say it how it is and I don'tcare about the consequences, and
blah blah.
I can just shoot off the truthbecause it's my truth, or I can
just tell it like it is and itdoesn't matter how or whatever.
(04:26):
And that's not true.
As a Christian, as a believer,gentleness matters.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Well, there is a danger in hanging everything on
your personality, because ourpersonality I mean God does use
our personality and I think it's.
It is good to know yourstrengths and your weaknesses.
So, knowing your personality,or accepting to an extent your
personality is, is healthy.
But, like you said, what youhave to remember is there are
(04:58):
certain things that arepersonalities and there are
certain things that are thefruit of the spirit.
So, even like joy is notsomething you can choose to not
be sullen, and I do thinkchoosing joy is is true to an
extent, but it's also what itreally is is allowing the holy
(05:18):
spirit to make you joyful right,not so much choosing to grin
and bear it right and so yeah,so even this gentleness you can
say you know, I want to begentle, but ultimately it's not
so much like willing yourself tobe gentle as much as it is
allowing jesus to change yourheart and always have control
(05:42):
enough that you can be gentle,right, and so there's those, all
those kind of words that thoseugly words that we used are the
things that you do have to weedout.
So I think that's more of ourresponsibility than creating
gentleness.
It's more like making room forgentleness, so removing that
(06:03):
sharp rebuttal or that makingallowances for yourself to be
irritable yeah it's reallyhonestly.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
it just goes back to that whole struggle of the flesh
and the spirit.
And I was reading in Proverbsthe other day that verse that
talks about how a man with norule over his spirit is like a
city with broken down walls.
And that's not an exact quote,but that was the idea of the
proverb.
And when we do not exerciseself-control which again is a
(06:35):
fruit of the spirit, when we donot have that temperance in our
life and we do not even try toattempt to work on pulling out
these negative weeds that growin our life, just like you said,
there is no room for anythinggood.
It's just a continual cycle ofbad.
So we can't just keep all ofthose things and then pile on a
(06:58):
heap of gentleness and expectthat to stay.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yeah, that's not going to work and expect that to
stay.
Yeah, like that's not going towork.
I heard a video of myselfteaching a lesson to my
kindergarten students last yearand I was recording and I knew I
was recording.
And I was listening to my voiceand I'm like I wonder if I would
(07:22):
have sounded as pleasant had Iknown that I was recording Now.
Then I would have been mean forthe record.
But just like there's like thispatience when you're being held
accountable, yes, and just likethe tone in my voice, I was
like, oh, you just sound likesuch a so just, patient and
loving and kind and like.
But are you Right?
(07:44):
Are you all the time?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
No, no and that's the thing.
Like our kids know our tone ofvoice when we're at home as
opposed to when we're not, andthat's kind of more like
honestly, like it's easier to bethat kind of gentle with other
people's children or right bythe home.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
But then I'm like, do I use that same?
That's really what I wasthinking more like.
Do I use that tone with mychildren when I'm teaching them?
Speaker 1 (08:09):
right when you've gone over the same concept a
million times and you're likewhy are we not getting this?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
it's true.
But you know, again, ourexample is Jesus and he has that
gentle spirit and it's not,again, not weakness.
Jesus was not weak and I lovethe definition of meek, which I
know is not.
I know gentle and meek isdifferent, but when you think
(08:38):
about meekness as being strength, that's power or strength
that's under control and that'sbeing used to help people right
and when you think aboutmeekness like that, it really
changes a lot of how you evenread, like the accounts of
(08:59):
Christ, where he's talking aboutmeekness and talking about
gentleness and he's not talkingabout like this mousy.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Do nothing, nod and smile.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Personality, he's saying you know, there's a
strength, there is a deepstrength in someone who is very
gentle, right in someone who isvery gentle Right and I think of
I think it was Moses that Godsaid was there was not a man
(09:31):
that was meager than Moses andhe was a.
He was a leader, right, sure,like he kind of didn't want to
be put in that position becauseof, like, his speech, whatever
issues, but he was still a verystrong leader.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
And it's.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
It's kind of interesting to me because, like
Moses says that at first, like Idon't want to speak in front of
the people type thing, but thenhow many times do we read
accounts of Moses addressing thewhole congregation?
And it's with power andauthority.
And he, he did come into thatbecause God helped him and God
enabled him and god knew he wasgoing to do that.
(10:01):
He gave him aaron to begin with, but eventually it got to the
point where moses realized thatwith god he he didn't have to
necessarily have aaron.
I think that kind of um growthprocess can happen with us as
well.
Like we can say why I'm notgentle right now in these areas,
you know, I struggle to begentle with my husband, I
(10:22):
struggle to be gentle with mykids can happen with us as well.
Like we can say well, I am notgentle right now in these areas,
you know I struggle to begentle with my husband, I
struggle to be gentle with mykids, and I know that this is an
issue for me.
It is possible, not in our ownstrength, but with the help of
the Lord, when we pray about itand when we truly continually
surrender, pray about it andwhen we truly continually
surrender and it takes adiscipline like a focused
(10:43):
discipline of concentratedeffort we can see victory in in
areas like I remember um, therewas an account I followed on
instagram and she does like agentleness challenge because it
was something that she realizedagain in her house, in her heart
, where she was kind ofstruggling with gentleness, like
just in tone of voice andaddressing people and talking to
her kids and stuff like that,where she did a focus challenge
(11:07):
of you know, two weeks havingher family and her kids hold her
accountable for her tone ofvoice and for how she interacted
.
Right, and that's definitelynot something that I would like
to do.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
You can see my face right now my face is like yeah,
what have my?
Speaker 1 (11:27):
kids tell me I'm not being gentle, what?
But really it does takesometimes that accountability to
to recognize and be like okay,somebody's telling me that I'm
not being gentle.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
And gentleness really does beget gentleness.
You can tell children who havegentle parents and not.
I know there's that whole termof like gentle parenting and
that's not what we're talkingabout.
No, we're talking about gentbut, but there is.
So gentle parenting is actuallya very good thing.
The, the movement of gentleparenting, goes into nuances
(12:07):
that are not right, we agreewith, but as far as like being
it, there's nothing wrong withbeing a gentle parent, because
we're called to be gentle, so,right, it's a gentleness god is.
Our father has been very gentlewith us, right and again it's.
It's when we restrain ourselvesright and approach our children
(12:31):
, even in correction, withkindness, with mercy, with, not
in a callous way, not in anunkind way, not in a crude way,
not in a violent way, not in aharsh way like you know, going
back, working backwards with our, with our opposites there.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
So yes, like well, I just I think of the verse be
kind one to another,tender-hearted, forgiving one
another, and this is just.
It goes right hand in hand withbeing gentle, right
Tenderhearted.
Very much of our hearts are nottender towards those who have
wronged us, towards those, evenour children, who have disobeyed
(13:10):
us, who have, you know, brokenthe rules or lied to us or
whatever.
Like tenderness does not comenaturally in those scenarios.
So, outside of the Holy Spiritgiving you that tenderness, you
know you're going to struggleand it is a struggle.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
That verse was actually what we were memorizing
in my class this week and Ifind I usually we usually define
at least one word in the versethat we're learning, and
tenderhearted was the one thatwe were defining.
The verse that we're learningand tenderhearted was the one
that we were defining and thedefinition that I found that was
most understandable toelementary school kids was
gentle actually.
(13:48):
So it's, and that's hard.
Even that is kind of hard to it.
Practically speaking, a lot ofit is just kindness.
It's choosing, kindness andchoosing.
I love this verse, psalms 1835.
Jesus is just so kind to us andso gentle with us and he could,
(14:11):
because he is holy and becausehe is just and because he is
sinless and like.
There's so many things aboutGod that he really could be a
harsh God, he could be a, and heis a terrible God.
He is a, he is the righteousjudge, you know.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
But he also shows such kindness and such mercy to
us, right, and that's like thedefinition of meekness, like he
has all the strength and powerand that he chooses to show us
such kindness.
But psalms 1835 thou has alsogiven me the shield of thy
salvation, and thy right handhath holding me up and thy
(14:47):
gentleness hath made me great,and of all the things that, I
assume it was david that thatsaid this.
Most of the psalms were david,so I assume it was david.
Like he, he could see of allthe attributes of god that he
could have.
He could have said that yourpower made me great or your,
your righteousness made me great, or you know.
(15:08):
There's so many things he couldhave said, but he said that your
gentleness has made me greatand god showed so much
gentleness to david oh yeah,definitely definitely and that's
what and I can say in my life,like I can look back and say
that, like the goodness of Godis what has, I won't say, made
me great but has made me.
Anything good that I have, Ithink, goes back to witnessing
(15:33):
and and seeing the goodness ofGod given to me right and that
is really.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Gentleness has to come from a place of humility.
If you're from, if you'restanding at somebody with a air
of pride and arrogancy, you willnot be gentle because you're
looking at them and saying, well, I am better than you, so you
need to be like me, or you needto be better than what you are
for me to accept you and for meto show you any type of favor.
(16:04):
And obviously, when we comefrom a place of humility,
recognizing I have nothing, Ideserve nothing, god has granted
me all of these wonderfulblessings without my deserving
me, all of these wonderfulblessings without my deserving.
(16:24):
I can therefore extend graceand compassion and forgiveness
and mercy upon all of thoseothers, because God has done it
toward me.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Even as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven me.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Exactly so, really, I think the issue that probably
goes deeper it would be that ofpride and just simply forgetting
who we really are.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Let me read this quote that was kind of towards
the end of the devotion.
It says it is only imperfectionthat complains of what is
imperfect.
The more perfect like Christ weare, the gentler and quieter we
become towards the defects ofothers.
And I think that kind of justsums up everything that we were
(17:05):
really saying, that it kind ofsucks the pride out of us.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah, you had in there as well the example of
Christ forgiving the woman whowas taken in adultery in the
study and all of those peoplewho brought that woman they
brought her out of pride right,it was a two-fold thing.
They were getting justice orwhatever for this person who had
(17:30):
messed up against their the lawright, coming at it from a
place of you know, we are holyand you deserve judgment, but
then also also trying to getJesus to mess up right, be
entrapped right In their ideasand what they think he should
have done.
Obviously, we know the end ofthe story whatever Jesus was
(17:51):
writing on the ground causedthem to have no more pride in
their in no more wind in theirsails, so to speak.
They were humbled by whateverit was that Jesus was writing.
And Jesus said you know, Idon't accuse you either and we
see that often Just attitude ofgrace and mercy and gentleness
(18:15):
towards others that Christ, whocould, who was perfect and he
had every right, could havejudged her harshly, sure, by the
law, obviously.
But he didn't.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
And I just think there's really no time that you
look at at Christ dealing withpeople just as actual, like
physical, face-to-face withpeople example that we can look
at at christ dealing with peoplejust his actual, like physical,
face-to-face with peopleexample that we can look at.
They're really.
The only time he was reallyharsh was when he was dealing
with the, the, the spiritualleaders who were, you know
(18:49):
hypocrites?
Speaker 1 (18:50):
yeah, and it was because of their pride that they
were hypocrites, you knowthat's like the one time where
christ was harsh and honestlyhad he.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
He knew their heart, he could see straight through
them and I think that if he hadseen a repented heart, or if he
had seen like they're reallytrying their best and they're
just like confused and failing,like you know there were, there
were lots of good jewish leaderswho were just nicodemus right
yeah, he came to him by nightand then jesus sat and talked
(19:21):
with him and he was not harsh.
He was blunt, right, but he wasnot harsh with nicodemus.
And so it's not just being likea spiritual leader, it's the
fact that you can see theirhearts and the hardness and the
pride of their hearts, right andso.
But that to me is just all themore convicting because I have
been saved long enough to knowbetter you know, right, and so
(19:45):
if Christ wanted to be harshwith me, he could be, you know,
right.
I feel like I'm just sothankful that for his gentleness
.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Right, yeah, and that's definitely a reminder to
us who have any sort of you know, role in spiritual leadership,
as far as maybe even a Sundayschool class or mentorship or
discipleship or anything likethat the time, the place where
we think that we have it alltogether and we can cast
judgment on other people withoutremembering who we are and
(20:13):
where we've came from, judgmenton other people without
remembering who we are and wherewe've came from, like it's a
good reminder that we needhumility, because we get so
complacent in what we know andwhat we can do in our own
strength that we forget how muchwe actually fail on a daily
basis.
And we still need the Lord'sstrength and we still need his
help and his guidance and weneed to remember that his
(20:35):
strength is what will help us,not our strength, yeah, so yeah,
it's a great study anddefinitely convicting.
Definitely consider having yourfamily tell you when you are,
if you're that brave, whenyou're being harsh and not
gentle in your tone.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Maybe it'll humble you a little god has shown
incredible gentleness with us.
We are walking in the spirit.
Gentleness is a fruit of that.
It's an evidence of god workingin us and it will never be
perfect, because we are notperfect, but it is something
that we should be growing in.
And maybe gentleness is yourthing and you are the most
(21:18):
gentle person and I am so happyfor you.
But I know for myself I be very, very gentle until I'm not, and
then I am irritable and I am.
You know.
I'm not going to go back overthat list of words, but it's an
area that when I fail, I don'tnecessarily repent and turn and
(21:38):
ask for goodness and, you know,do all the things that I should
do.
Instead, I start self-loathingand become very like silly.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Like wallowing in the guilt that we talked about in
our last podcast.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yes, I wallow in the guilt of it and I feel terrible
and I feel like, oh, I'm nevergoing to get better at this and
I'm just a terrible mother or aterrible wife or a terrible
friend or whatever, and it's anunhealthy spiral.
Instead of just askingforgiveness, whether I was,
maybe I was just napping andnobody was even around to hear
it.
That's still, you know, betweenme and God, but often there's a
(22:15):
person involved that needs tobe, you know, addressed.
I need to apologize, you needto say this isn't okay.
Just because I'm tired, justbecause mommy doesn't feel good,
just because, right, he'strying to park and you're asking
me a thousand questions, rightdoesn't mean that I have a right
to be mean or harsh or whateverthe word is, and so making
(22:37):
excuses is not the answer andfollowing and self-pity is not
the the answer.
Asking forgiveness, whether it'sfrom yourself or from whoever
you've offended, is a way thatyou make room for the holy
spirit.
It is he has to do and asking.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Asking for forgiveness is gentleness in its
own right too, so it is kind ofmaking making right the wrong
in a way.
That's a nice way to put it.
Thanks for joining us, and wewill be back with our next issue
of the heart, issue of theheart.
Till next time.
Hello and welcome to Simply Edifies podcast.
Our goal is to encourage womenas we navigate the messiness of
life through biblical studies,personal stories and practical
tips that bolster our walk withJesus daily.
Thank you for joining us in ourepisode today.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
We are going back into our study from our newest
book, issues of the Heart, ournewest book, issues of the Heart
, and today we're talking aboutthe topic of a gentle heart.
And when April said reminded meof a topic, I was like ew, I
(00:42):
don't want to do this.
And it's a convicting one.
Yes, that's why it's a good one.
It's a convicting one.
Yes, that's why it's a good one.
It's just convicting becausethe first question at the top of
the page, um, when you open up,it's chapter 13 of our, our
devotional um, the question isare you gentle?
And is that a hard question toanswer?
(01:04):
And I guess that would kind ofdepend on how you define gentle.
Um, you know we like definitionsand this is a list of antonyms
or opposites, for gentle meansevere, disagreeable, unfeeling,
(01:25):
wild, loud, cruel, harsh,unfriendly, violent,
uncompassionate, callous, rough,unkind, troubled, low, crude,
hard, merciless, unhappy,agitated, sharp, irritable,
(01:47):
surly and hateful.
So if you dare go back throughthat list and ask yourself, am I
, instead of maybe, am I gentle,am I mean, am I unkind?
Am I mean, am I unkind?
Am I troubled, troubled, am Iirritable, am I surly?
Speaker 1 (02:12):
and you can see, maybe, why I didn't want to do
this right yeah, I thinksomething for myself when it
comes to gentleness is a whileago I I had this revelation from
the Lord, I guess you could say, where I would always think of
gentle people as just like kindof mousy, quiet, like not very
(02:36):
outgoing, just an idea in mymind was a personality, and I
realized that gentleness is nota personality.
Gentleness is a fruit of thespirit and you, you do not have
to be a super timid, shy personto be gentle.
(02:58):
And I think that was kind of awell, more of a ouch for myself,
because I can very well fitinto some of these antonyms of
gentle, uncompassionate, rough,like just say it how it is type
temperament.
I guess you could saypersonality right.
(03:19):
And so we blame our personalityfor not following what God has
for us and having the fruit ofthe spirit in our life.
And I realized that like thatwas kind of one of the big
things when it came to beinggentle and merciful for me.
Like no, it has nothing to dowith your personality, I don't
(03:41):
you know, I don't care.
If, yes, maybe you're more of atruth teller, you're still
responsible for doing it withgentleness and having compassion
and mercy, and so that was kindof like my takeaway when I was
just studying gentleness as awhole personally for myself.
One time I was like, yeah, it'snot about a personality, it's
(04:04):
not about myself.
One time I was like, yeah, it'snot about a personality, it's
not about you know how outgoingyou are.
And that's the thing where Ithink in our culture today
there's a lot of women who arejust like, well, I'm going to
say it how it is and I don'tcare about the consequences, and
blah blah.
I can just shoot off the truthbecause it's my truth, or I can
just tell it like it is and itdoesn't matter how or whatever.
(04:26):
And that's not true.
As a Christian, as a believer,gentleness matters.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Well, there is a danger in hanging everything on
your personality, because ourpersonality I mean God does use
our personality and I think it's.
It is good to know yourstrengths and your weaknesses.
So, knowing your personality,or accepting to an extent your
personality is, is healthy.
But, like you said, what youhave to remember is there are
(04:58):
certain things that arepersonalities and there are
certain things that are thefruit of the spirit.
So, even like joy is notsomething you can choose to not
be sullen, and I do thinkchoosing joy is is true to an
extent, but it's also what itreally is is allowing the holy
(05:18):
spirit to make you joyful right,not so much choosing to grin
and bear it right and so yeah,so even this gentleness you can
say you know, I want to begentle, but ultimately it's not
so much like willing yourself tobe gentle as much as it is
allowing jesus to change yourheart and always have control
(05:42):
enough that you can be gentle,right, and so there's those, all
those kind of words that thoseugly words that we used are the
things that you do have to weedout.
So I think that's more of ourresponsibility than creating
gentleness.
It's more like making room forgentleness, so removing that
(06:03):
sharp rebuttal or that makingallowances for yourself to be
irritable yeah it's reallyhonestly.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
it just goes back to that whole struggle of the flesh
and the spirit.
And I was reading in Proverbsthe other day that verse that
talks about how a man with norule over his spirit is like a
city with broken down walls.
And that's not an exact quote,but that was the idea of the
proverb.
And when we do not exerciseself-control which again is a
(06:35):
fruit of the spirit, when we donot have that temperance in our
life and we do not even try toattempt to work on pulling out
these negative weeds that growin our life, just like you said,
there is no room for anythinggood.
It's just a continual cycle ofbad.
So we can't just keep all ofthose things and then pile on a
(06:58):
heap of gentleness and expectthat to stay.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yeah, that's not going to work and expect that to
stay.
Yeah, like that's not going towork.
I heard a video of myselfteaching a lesson to my
kindergarten students last yearand I was recording and I knew I
was recording.
And I was listening to my voiceand I'm like I wonder if I would
(07:22):
have sounded as pleasant had Iknown that I was recording Now.
Then I would have been mean forthe record.
But just like there's like thispatience when you're being held
accountable, yes, and just likethe tone in my voice, I was
like, oh, you just sound likesuch a so just, patient and
loving and kind and like.
But are you Right?
(07:44):
Are you all the time?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
No, no and that's the thing.
Like our kids know our tone ofvoice when we're at home as
opposed to when we're not, andthat's kind of more like
honestly, like it's easier to bethat kind of gentle with other
people's children or right bythe home.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
But then I'm like, do I use that same?
That's really what I wasthinking more like.
Do I use that tone with mychildren when I'm teaching them?
Speaker 1 (08:09):
right when you've gone over the same concept a
million times and you're likewhy are we not getting this?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
it's true.
But you know, again, ourexample is Jesus and he has that
gentle spirit and it's not,again, not weakness.
Jesus was not weak and I lovethe definition of meek, which I
know is not.
I know gentle and meek isdifferent, but when you think
(08:38):
about meekness as being strength, that's power or strength
that's under control and that'sbeing used to help people right
and when you think aboutmeekness like that, it really
changes a lot of how you evenread, like the accounts of
(08:59):
Christ, where he's talking aboutmeekness and talking about
gentleness and he's not talkingabout like this mousy.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Do nothing, nod and smile.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Personality, he's saying you know, there's a
strength, there is a deepstrength in someone who is very
gentle, right in someone who isvery gentle Right and I think of
I think it was Moses that Godsaid was there was not a man
(09:31):
that was meager than Moses andhe was a.
He was a leader, right, sure,like he kind of didn't want to
be put in that position becauseof, like, his speech, whatever
issues, but he was still a verystrong leader.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
And it's.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
It's kind of interesting to me because, like
Moses says that at first, like Idon't want to speak in front of
the people type thing, but thenhow many times do we read
accounts of Moses addressing thewhole congregation?
And it's with power andauthority.
And he, he did come into thatbecause God helped him and God
enabled him and god knew he wasgoing to do that.
(10:01):
He gave him aaron to begin with, but eventually it got to the
point where moses realized thatwith god he he didn't have to
necessarily have aaron.
I think that kind of um growthprocess can happen with us as
well.
Like we can say why I'm notgentle right now in these areas,
you know, I struggle to begentle with my husband, I
(10:22):
struggle to be gentle with mykids can happen with us as well.
Like we can say well, I am notgentle right now in these areas,
you know I struggle to begentle with my husband, I
struggle to be gentle with mykids, and I know that this is an
issue for me.
It is possible, not in our ownstrength, but with the help of
the Lord, when we pray about itand when we truly continually
surrender, pray about it andwhen we truly continually
surrender and it takes adiscipline like a focused
(10:43):
discipline of concentratedeffort we can see victory in in
areas like I remember um, therewas an account I followed on
instagram and she does like agentleness challenge because it
was something that she realizedagain in her house, in her heart
, where she was kind ofstruggling with gentleness, like
just in tone of voice andaddressing people and talking to
her kids and stuff like that,where she did a focus challenge
(11:07):
of you know, two weeks havingher family and her kids hold her
accountable for her tone ofvoice and for how she interacted
.
Right, and that's definitelynot something that I would like
to do.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
You can see my face right now my face is like yeah,
what have my?
Speaker 1 (11:27):
kids tell me I'm not being gentle, what?
But really it does takesometimes that accountability to
to recognize and be like okay,somebody's telling me that I'm
not being gentle.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
And gentleness really does beget gentleness.
You can tell children who havegentle parents and not.
I know there's that whole termof like gentle parenting and
that's not what we're talkingabout.
No, we're talking about gentbut, but there is.
So gentle parenting is actuallya very good thing.
The, the movement of gentleparenting, goes into nuances
(12:07):
that are not right, we agreewith, but as far as like being
it, there's nothing wrong withbeing a gentle parent, because
we're called to be gentle, so,right, it's a gentleness god is.
Our father has been very gentlewith us, right and again it's.
It's when we restrain ourselvesright and approach our children
(12:31):
, even in correction, withkindness, with mercy, with, not
in a callous way, not in anunkind way, not in a crude way,
not in a violent way, not in aharsh way like you know, going
back, working backwards with our, with our opposites there.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
So yes, like well, I just I think of the verse be
kind one to another,tender-hearted, forgiving one
another, and this is just.
It goes right hand in hand withbeing gentle, right
Tenderhearted.
Very much of our hearts are nottender towards those who have
wronged us, towards those, evenour children, who have disobeyed
(13:10):
us, who have, you know, brokenthe rules or lied to us or
whatever.
Like tenderness does not comenaturally in those scenarios.
So, outside of the Holy Spiritgiving you that tenderness, you
know you're going to struggleand it is a struggle.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
That verse was actually what we were memorizing
in my class this week and Ifind I usually we usually define
at least one word in the versethat we're learning, and
tenderhearted was the one thatwe were defining.
The verse that we're learningand tenderhearted was the one
that we were defining and thedefinition that I found that was
most understandable toelementary school kids was
gentle actually.
(13:48):
So it's, and that's hard.
Even that is kind of hard to it.
Practically speaking, a lot ofit is just kindness.
It's choosing, kindness andchoosing.
I love this verse, psalms 1835.
Jesus is just so kind to us andso gentle with us and he could,
(14:11):
because he is holy and becausehe is just and because he is
sinless and like.
There's so many things aboutGod that he really could be a
harsh God, he could be a, and heis a terrible God.
He is a, he is the righteousjudge, you know.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
But he also shows such kindness and such mercy to
us, right, and that's like thedefinition of meekness, like he
has all the strength and powerand that he chooses to show us
such kindness.
But psalms 1835 thou has alsogiven me the shield of thy
salvation, and thy right handhath holding me up and thy
(14:47):
gentleness hath made me great,and of all the things that, I
assume it was david that thatsaid this.
Most of the psalms were david,so I assume it was david.
Like he, he could see of allthe attributes of god that he
could have.
He could have said that yourpower made me great or your,
your righteousness made me great, or you know.
(15:08):
There's so many things he couldhave said, but he said that your
gentleness has made me greatand god showed so much
gentleness to david oh yeah,definitely definitely and that's
what and I can say in my life,like I can look back and say
that, like the goodness of Godis what has, I won't say, made
me great but has made me.
Anything good that I have, Ithink, goes back to witnessing
(15:33):
and and seeing the goodness ofGod given to me right and that
is really.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Gentleness has to come from a place of humility.
If you're from, if you'restanding at somebody with a air
of pride and arrogancy, you willnot be gentle because you're
looking at them and saying, well, I am better than you, so you
need to be like me, or you needto be better than what you are
for me to accept you and for meto show you any type of favor.
(16:04):
And obviously, when we comefrom a place of humility,
recognizing I have nothing, Ideserve nothing, god has granted
me all of these wonderfulblessings without my deserving
me, all of these wonderfulblessings without my deserving.
(16:24):
I can therefore extend graceand compassion and forgiveness
and mercy upon all of thoseothers, because God has done it
toward me.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Even as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven me.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Exactly so, really, I think the issue that probably
goes deeper it would be that ofpride and just simply forgetting
who we really are.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Let me read this quote that was kind of towards
the end of the devotion.
It says it is only imperfectionthat complains of what is
imperfect.
The more perfect like Christ weare, the gentler and quieter we
become towards the defects ofothers.
And I think that kind of justsums up everything that we were
(17:05):
really saying, that it kind ofsucks the pride out of us.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah, you had in there as well the example of
Christ forgiving the woman whowas taken in adultery in the
study and all of those peoplewho brought that woman they
brought her out of pride right,it was a two-fold thing.
They were getting justice orwhatever for this person who had
(17:30):
messed up against their the lawright, coming at it from a
place of you know, we are holyand you deserve judgment, but
then also also trying to getJesus to mess up right, be
entrapped right In their ideasand what they think he should
have done.
Obviously, we know the end ofthe story whatever Jesus was
(17:51):
writing on the ground causedthem to have no more pride in
their in no more wind in theirsails, so to speak.
They were humbled by whateverit was that Jesus was writing.
And Jesus said you know, Idon't accuse you either and we
see that often Just attitude ofgrace and mercy and gentleness
(18:15):
towards others that Christ, whocould, who was perfect and he
had every right, could havejudged her harshly, sure, by the
law, obviously.
But he didn't.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
And I just think there's really no time that you
look at at Christ dealing withpeople just as actual, like
physical, face-to-face withpeople example that we can look
at at christ dealing with peoplejust his actual, like physical,
face-to-face with peopleexample that we can look at.
They're really.
The only time he was reallyharsh was when he was dealing
with the, the, the spiritualleaders who were, you know
(18:49):
hypocrites?
Speaker 1 (18:50):
yeah, and it was because of their pride that they
were hypocrites, you knowthat's like the one time where
christ was harsh and honestlyhad he.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
He knew their heart, he could see straight through
them and I think that if he hadseen a repented heart, or if he
had seen like they're reallytrying their best and they're
just like confused and failing,like you know there were, there
were lots of good jewish leaderswho were just nicodemus right
yeah, he came to him by nightand then jesus sat and talked
(19:21):
with him and he was not harsh.
He was blunt, right, but he wasnot harsh with nicodemus.
And so it's not just being likea spiritual leader, it's the
fact that you can see theirhearts and the hardness and the
pride of their hearts, right andso.
But that to me is just all themore convicting because I have
been saved long enough to knowbetter you know, right, and so
(19:45):
if Christ wanted to be harshwith me, he could be, you know,
right.
I feel like I'm just sothankful that for his gentleness
.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Right, yeah, and that's definitely a reminder to
us who have any sort of you know, role in spiritual leadership,
as far as maybe even a Sundayschool class or mentorship or
discipleship or anything likethat the time, the place where
we think that we have it alltogether and we can cast
judgment on other people withoutremembering who we are and
(20:13):
where we've came from, judgmenton other people without
remembering who we are and wherewe've came from, like it's a
good reminder that we needhumility, because we get so
complacent in what we know andwhat we can do in our own
strength that we forget how muchwe actually fail on a daily
basis.
And we still need the Lord'sstrength and we still need his
help and his guidance and weneed to remember that his
(20:35):
strength is what will help us,not our strength, yeah, so yeah,
it's a great study anddefinitely convicting.
Definitely consider having yourfamily tell you when you are,
if you're that brave, whenyou're being harsh and not
gentle in your tone.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Maybe it'll humble you a little god has shown
incredible gentleness with us.
We are walking in the spirit.
Gentleness is a fruit of that.
It's an evidence of god workingin us and it will never be
perfect, because we are notperfect, but it is something
that we should be growing in.
And maybe gentleness is yourthing and you are the most
(21:18):
gentle person and I am so happyfor you.
But I know for myself I be very, very gentle until I'm not, and
then I am irritable and I am.
You know.
I'm not going to go back overthat list of words, but it's an
area that when I fail, I don'tnecessarily repent and turn and
(21:38):
ask for goodness and, you know,do all the things that I should
do.
Instead, I start self-loathingand become very like silly.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Like wallowing in the guilt that we talked about in
our last podcast.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yes, I wallow in the guilt of it and I feel terrible
and I feel like, oh, I'm nevergoing to get better at this and
I'm just a terrible mother or aterrible wife or a terrible
friend or whatever, and it's anunhealthy spiral.
Instead of just askingforgiveness, whether I was,
maybe I was just napping andnobody was even around to hear
it.
That's still, you know, betweenme and God, but often there's a
(22:15):
person involved that needs tobe, you know, addressed.
I need to apologize, you needto say this isn't okay.
Just because I'm tired, justbecause mommy doesn't feel good,
just because, right, he'strying to park and you're asking
me a thousand questions, rightdoesn't mean that I have a right
to be mean or harsh or whateverthe word is, and so making
(22:37):
excuses is not the answer andfollowing and self-pity is not
the the answer.
Asking forgiveness, whether it'sfrom yourself or from whoever
you've offended, is a way thatyou make room for the holy
spirit.
It is he has to do and asking.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Asking for forgiveness is gentleness in its
own right too, so it is kind ofmaking making right the wrong
in a way.
That's a nice way to put it.
Thanks for joining us, and wewill be back with our next issue
of the heart, issue of theheart.
Till next time.
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