October 3, 2023 • 34 mins
Alyson Van Hooser, of Van Hooser Associates, is a Keynote speaker, leadership authority, and author. Having personally experienced the transformative impact of intentional leadership, Alyson is on a mission to develop highly effective leaders. In this episode, she shares the concept of Infinite Influence with a wonderful story of how somebody else exhibited infinite influence in her life.
Check out the free Q&A videos that we have produced with tips to help you receive feedback graciously and act on it visibly at www.learningbridge.com/tips.
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Episode Transcript
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Alyson Van Hooser (00:00):
What I know is back to that "roll your eyes
or roll up your sleeves."Seeing that you serve somebody
differently. You communicatedifferently, but you don't know
... You don't know how tocorrectly lead someone unless
you know their story.
Otherwise, you find yourselfmaking a lot of assumptions,
treating people the way youwant to be treated. When
today's workforce is so diverse, they require a tailored
(00:22):
approach.
Troy Blaser (00:27):
Hello, welcome to Simply Feedback , the podcast
brought to you byLearningBridge. I'm your host,
Troy Blaser. I'm super excitedabout our guest today. Our
guest is Alyson Van Hooser ofVan Hooser Associates. Let me
just tell you a little bitabout Alyson. She is a keynote
speaker, a leadershipauthority, and author. Having
personally experienced thetransformative impact of
(00:50):
intentional leadership, Alysonis on a mission to develop
highly effective leaders. Sheunderstands what it takes to
effectively attract, retain,and influence a team to go all
in. Despite a hard upbringing,Alyson learned the power of an
ownership mindset, which hasled her to rapid success in
business and in her role as awife and model four. Through
(01:12):
keynotes and training, booksand consulting, she guides
existing and aspiring leadersto make changes that drive
bottom-line results. Aligningradical responsibility with
proven strategies for success,her down to earth style will
hit the heart, open the mind,and push anyone forward in
life. Alyson, welcome to SimplyFeedback. It's so good to have
(01:34):
you with us today.
Alyson Van Hooser (01:35):
Thank you so much. I'm honored to be here
today and can't wait to diginto some practical techniques
that can teach you, thelisteners, some value in how
you move forward and interactwith people every single day. I
appreciate you. Glad to behere.
Troy Blaser (01:49):
Awesome. Well, maybe just to help us get to
know you a little bit, becauseI, I, I love a good story. So I
always like to ask you thisquestion here on Simply
Feedback. I wonder if there's atime you can think of where
somebody gave you some feedbackthat maybe had an impact on
your life or on your career, orwhatever it might be, but kind
of maybe was a turning pointfor you. Do you have a story
(02:09):
you could share with us?
Alyson Van Hooser (02:11):
Absolutely.
I, I, immediately, my mind goesto being in my twenties in the
workforce and sitting downface-to-face with the CEO of a
bank for my annual performanceevaluation. Okay. I remember I
was an employee that I'mguessing you and people
listening to this podcast couldprobably say the same thing. So
(02:31):
this is not me tooting my horn.
This is just establishing afoundation, sort of just who
I'm is whatever I commit to,I'm all in. So from a work
perspective, I'm gonna show upevery day . I'm gonna give it
my best. I'm gonna do my bestjob for the organization, for
the customer, and for myself.
So when it comes time to havean annual review, I honestly, I
(02:53):
look forward to it . And Ididn't dread it very often ,
because typically I was gonnaget , you know , above
expectations, exceedsexpectations, get a nice raise
or a nice bonus, something likethat . Yeah . Not because I'm
incredible, but simply becauseI just showed up with the
mindset to do good every day .
So, with that being said , I'msitting across the desk from
(03:14):
the bank , CEO, who I reportedto at that time , and he's
going through my performanceevaluation, and as he's
talking, he's saying,exceeds expectations, exceeds
expectations. And like my chestis puffing up. I'm thinking ,
yeah , another good year. Butthen we were halfway through
(03:37):
the conversation and he pauses,and I remember he sets down his
notes on his desk , and he sortof scoots back his seat , and I
noticed the red like creep uphis neck . Mm-hmm . And his
face gets flushed . He'snervous, like beads of sweat
forming on his forehead. I'mthinking, what's this all
(03:57):
about? And he says, after a bigswallow and a deep breath,
Alyson, when it comes toappearance on your performance
evaluation, it was hard for meto give you a score of average
(04:18):
of meets expectations. Oh, wow.
He said, I was tempted to giveyou below. And as he's saying
this, his voice is trembling.
He's wildly uncomfortable. Heand I have worked together
really closely for years now.
And so when he says this, eventhough he's nervous, my first
reaction was I was, first, Iwas ignorant and immature in my
(04:40):
twenties, I laughed like ,whatcha talking about like me ,
my , my appearance . All ofthis rapidly going through my
head, I'm thinking, this is nota man sitting there giving me a
meets expectations on myappearance at work. But then
suddenly I'm thinking , what'sthe catch here ? Something's
going on . I'm asking him ,whatcha talking about ? Sure .
(05:02):
He said , his name is Tim.
Whatcha talking about Tim? Andhe said, here's the thing,
Alyson, when you're here, youdo good work . He said, but
consider for a moment, we'reputting you in front of
multimillion dollar clients andhalf the time you show up and
you look like a million bucks ,someone comes in to meet you ,
(05:23):
you look like you take care ofyourself. Of course you can
take care of my money. But hesaid , another 50% of the time
you show up looking like youjust rolled out of bed, like
with your hair up, no makeupon, and just disheveled. And he
said, I wonder if I havecustomers, multimillion dollar
customers coming in to meetwith you. And they might pause
(05:44):
for just a moment and think tothemselves, she can't take care
of herself. Can I trust her totake care of my money ? Hmm .
Yeah . That was feedback that Ireceived that changed the way I
thought about how important itis that I show up to every day
, show up every day , preparednot to just do good work, but
(06:06):
to look in a way that inspiressomebody to trust and respect
me, especially if I'm coming inas the youngest person in the
room, as the underdog, etcetera . And so from there,
that feedback made me moreintentional about how I show up
from the inside out. And evennow, you know , you mentioned
that I'm a keynote speaker, Iwalk on stage. Typically my
(06:27):
audiences are full ofexecutives of companies,
billion dollar companies, and Iwalk in and I'm the youngest in
the room. Yeah . And there arepeople who right off the bat,
if I don't earn their respectand their trust and a small
part of that, whether we likeit or not, the is what you look
like, I've gotta have my acttogether. So feedback that
(06:47):
helped me be a more successfulprofessional, more successful
business owner, hands down, itwas not easy to hear, but it
was valuable piece of feedbackfor me to get. Was that, that
feedback right there, that itcouldn't have been easy to
give.
Troy Blaser (06:59):
I I was just gonna say, it probably wasn't easy to
give either. Woo .
Alyson Van Hooser (07:03):
Can you imagine doing that?
Troy Blaser (07:05):
No. In fact, I'm thinking, why is this even on
the performance review in thefirst place? But I guess in
that instance where you'reinteracting with customers,
right? Yep . As much as it , aswe may think, oh, we've, our
society has moved past that,it's still true. We all of us
judge on appearance at firstglance. Right?
Alyson Van Hooser (07:24):
It's so true. And you have to know your
customer. There may be some whocouldn't care less about that.
Then there may be some, andwe'll, we'll get to this when
we talk about infiniteinfluence later, there might be
some who, if you want to earntheir trust and respect, it's
the little things like that,that you have those needs you
have to serve in order to getthem to go all in with you, for
your good and for theirs.
Troy Blaser (07:44):
Yeah. Well, that's very interesting, a , a cool
story to hear and and crazykind of feedback to have to, to
think about receiving andgiving. So we've heard so far,
you've, you worked at a bank,you know, you talked about that
performance review , butcurrently you've talked about
being a keynote speaker amongother things and a book that
you've written . Uh , did yougrow up wanting to be a keynote
(08:07):
speaker ? Was , or was theresome turning point in your
career that kind of got you onthe path you're on now?
Alyson Van Hooser (08:12):
There absolutely was a turning point.
I , I grew up without a mom.
She left whenever I was reallyyoung and when I was 13 , I'm
giving you a little bit ofbackstory because it helps you
understand the turning point.
When I was 13 , I wasbabysitting. I come home from
babysitting, the parent droppedme off at my house and nobody
(08:33):
was home. Not my dad, not myolder brother, not my younger
sister. And from there, I'vebeen on my own. My dad was
gone, and he never came back.
No mom, no dad at home, nofamily. So I figured out how to
get through high school andwhen I was growing up, way back
in the 19 hundreds ,everybody was saying that you
(08:53):
need to go to college . So Iwent to college , college, got
a business degree. I met my nowhusband when I was 15, so two
years after my dad left.
Troy Blaser (09:02):
Okay.
Alyson Van Hooser (09:03):
Ever since then, his dad, Phil Van Hooser,
has sort of filled the fatherrole in my life. When I was in
my early, early twenties, rightoutside of college, I went
through a leadershipdevelopment training program
that Phil led. He led in ourcommunity to develop emerging
leaders. I went into that bankone day, used a process, a
(09:28):
technique. He taught me to sellan idea to a decision maker.
And it worked. The idea was toeliminate my position and
restructure the organization.
. I had no experience ,no reason to bring that up.
Some people thought I wascutting my feet out from under
me , but it worked. They endedup restructuring the
organization. I got anopportunity to work on projects
(09:48):
that I never would haveotherwise. And that bank, that
CEO urged me to get involved inthe community. I served as a
city councilwoman for a coupleof years in my twenties. And at
the end of that, I was at thiscrossroads, okay , do I go all
in with politics and run formayor and just do that
full-time, forego the corporateworld and do that? Or do I just
(10:12):
back all the way out of it?
Because as a city councilwoman,I was just dipping my toe into
it. I didn't have a lot of, Ididn't have a lot of decision
making power. Sure . And so Icalled Phil, the guy who was
filling the father role in mylife, and I said, Phil, what do
I do? What should I go intopolitics or stay in the
corporate world? And Phil justvery plainly said, Alyson, I've
(10:33):
known you for a very long time,and I've told you since you
were a teenager, that I thinkyou've got a story to share.
And now you have enoughexperience under your belt. I
think there's a lot of peoplein this world you could help. I
think we should go intobusiness together. And I've got
cold chills , even now as I saythat. It was an aha
moment. It was like, you knowwhat? Nothing else is an
(10:54):
option, but this, this is nowwhat I'm called to do. I can
see how everything I've beenthrough up to this point has
equipped me for this today. Sothere was a turning point.
There was a moment that I said,this is what I'm gonna do for
the rest of my life . And now ,um, I continue to get
confirmation that I'm doingexactly what I'm supposed to ,
if there's anybody listening tothis , that you arrive in a
(11:16):
season where you can say thesame thing that I'm doing
exactly what I know I put hereto do.
Troy Blaser (11:23):
That . That's so fantastic. And it's, it's
wonderful to feel like you'vefound the thing that you're
passionate about and you, andyou get to do it every day ,
you know? Yes . That , thatgonna work is not a , a drag.
It's not the , you know, it's,it could be the highlight of
your day instead of the , thelow light of your day.
Alyson Van Hooser (11:41):
So true. And it , you with anything, it's
not, it's not all roses. Wouldyou agree? I mean, yeah,
Troy Blaser (11:47):
For sure. Sure .
Um ,
Alyson Van Hooser (11:48):
Well, I love what I do. There's still
moments where it's, it's workand you're dragging through the
mud to create new ideas and getthe word out there. But
overall, yeah, I agree. It'sgreat to come to work every day
,
Troy Blaser (12:00):
. Well,
that's cool. I wonder, can we
talk, you mentioned one of yourbooks, infinite Influence,
you've , you've written a fewdifferent books though. Um, if
, if I've got 'em right. LevelUp: Elevate your Game and Crush
Your Goals is, is. Was thatyour first book?
Alyson Van Hooser (12:13):
That was my very first book, yes.
Troy Blaser (12:15):
Tell us about Level Up . Tell us what it's
about, first of all, but then Iwanna know too, like, why did
you decide to write it?
Yeah .
Alyson Van Hooser (12:23):
Well, Level Up is very much a personal and
professional development book.
We're talking about all of thebasics of how do we get our
mind right ? And then what isthe foundation we need to move
forward and be successful inthe business world at work. I
wrote that book initially inmind. I had in mind, you know,
the , the person who's justcoming out of high school and
(12:43):
entering the work workforce, orthe person who's coming out of
college and entering theworkforce. Someone in their
early twenties who was about toembark on a journey. I was just
leaving. I was entering mythirties when I wrote that
book. Cool. But what's beeninteresting about that is that
I hear from CEOs who say, oh mygosh, this opened my eyes from
(13:04):
an emotional intelligencestandpoint, from how to
navigate conflict, from how toget my own mind, right? So that
I'm not stressed out at work asfar as everything I have to do.
So it's funny how we can havean intention to serve a certain
group of people, but there'ssomeone out there with a lot
bigger dream than me for thework that I do, who is putting
(13:24):
it in the hands of people andis having a bigger impact than
I could have imagined now . Oh, that's cool. I , I didn't
grow up wanting to be anauthor. Why did I write a book?
If I could pull back thecurtain for you for a second ?
As a keynote speaker,especially when I started, I
started doing this when I was28. I still at 34, I'm finding
(13:45):
myself to be one of theyoungest people out there
speaking to business audiences.
So writing my first book wasalmost , um, it was like a
resume builder . It was togimme sort of credibility out
there in the world . And all Iknew to write about was what I,
what I knew what I hadexperienced full of , of
stories. Even that story I toldabout feedback and just how to
(14:07):
handle the workforce in a postpandemic world.
Troy Blaser (14:11):
Well, I was gonna ask you too, you mentioned
these CEOs that are saying,Hey, this book is really
helping me out. I wonder ifthere is, is some element there
of, from, from a generation toan older generation, you know,
so in other words, you'rewriting about your experience
in your twenties, but they'rereading it in today's work
environment that's differentfrom when they were in their
(14:32):
twenties. Is there something tothat where they're getting
benefit from someone who's justrecently lived that,
Alyson Van Hooser (14:38):
Oh, I hadn't thought of it that way, you're
causing me to think, but , you know , I guess
there has to be, they, I wonderif some of them pick it up and
they have an idea of how thisis gonna go , but then when
they see that my mindsetdoesn't fit , maybe what the
typical millennial might havethat maybe it causes them to
(14:59):
engage with that book in a waythat they might not would have
otherwise. So I think you mightbe right .
Troy Blaser (15:05):
Well, let's talk for just a minute about
Infinite Influence. Youmentioned it earlier in your
story about, you know,receiving feedback on your
appearance. Um, the full title,infinite Influence: Captivate,
Connect and Compel Anyone,Anytime. That sounds like a , a
captivating title. Um , what'sthe book about?
Alyson Van Hooser (15:25):
This book will be the book that I'll talk
about for the rest of mycareer. I don't know if Level
Up will make it that far. Idon't know if Accelerate Your
Success will make it that far .
But this book will. This bookis something that found me and
through the keynotes that I diddelivering the talk about a , a
keynote on Level Up , there's awhole middle section in Level
(15:49):
Up that talks about own yourawareness and being aware of
all of the different types ofpeople around you. In a world
that's more diverse than ever.
Today's post pandemic world, itis critically important that we
understand the people aroundus, that we don't make
assumptions about who they are, what they want, et cetera .
Because if we make assumptionsabout people, I don't use
(16:11):
profanity, so I'm not gonna dothat . But you all know what
happens whenever you makeassumptions.
Troy Blaser (16:16):
Yes .
Alyson Van Hooser (16:17):
Infinite Influence is a book about
giving you a different paradigmfor seeing people. When I talk
about building infiniteinfluence over time or in a
moment , if you can influencethe people around you to wanna
have a stronger relationshipwith you , if we're talking
about family or spouses , ifyou wanna influence them to not
(16:39):
be upset with you , if youwanna influence them to buy
from you , if you wannainfluence them to support you
or give you opportunity orpartner with you, et cetera .
The foundational perspectiveyou must have in today's
diverse world is an infiniteinfluence perspective where you
see people in terms of theirparamount needs . Now ,
(17:00):
paramount needs is what thisstrategy hinges on. Let me give
you an example. I might eventell you a story if you wanna
hear it, Troy.
Troy Blaser (17:07):
I love stories.
Hit me with a story.
Alyson Van Hooser (17:09):
Well, first, there's all kinds of
motivational theory out there.
I have been through everysingle leadership development
program there is out there. Ifyou know a big name leadership
development program guarantee,I've been through it .
Troy Blaser (17:20):
Okay ?
Alyson Van Hooser (17:21):
However, also consider all of the
personality tests that are outthere. All of the big names ,
all of those we're stillmissing. We have a lot of good
leaders out there doing goodwork, but they're still not
getting the result that theywant because they're missing
the paramount need. And I thinkthat this whole idea of servant
leadership that became popularreally in the late 1900s and
(17:43):
the eighties and the nineties,even in the two thousands. We
all agree in general, mostpeople agree that people who
hold a certain position, thatleaders should work to do good
for the people around them .
But we have a lot of goodpeople doing a lot of good work
who get stressed out andburnout and never get the
traction that they could ifthey uncovered and serve the
(18:03):
paramount need . I'll give youan example. The most , most
practical example of where Ifirst saw this true in my life.
Let me ask you a questionfirst, "Did you have a teacher
that made a difference in yourlife?"
Troy Blaser (18:15):
Yeah, I can think of a couple. Yeah,
Alyson Van Hooser (18:17):
Me too. But I'm gonna tell you about one.
Okay . Her name is Ms .
Christie Conger . I like to saythere are no words. This side
of heaven for Ms . Conger . Shehad , she's about my height,
about five three if I had toguess. She has brown curly
hair, light blue, icy beautifuleyes. She wears bright red or
pink lipstick. I rememberthinking she was so beautiful .
(18:38):
She is so beautiful . She's notdead . She's not dead . She's ,
Troy Blaser (18:43):
< laugh>
Alyson Van Hooser (18:43):
So beautiful . I remember her classroom
smelled like red Starburst. Iremember everything about Ms .
Conger .
Troy Blaser (18:50):
Yeah.
Alyson Van Hooser (18:51):
Here's the deal about Ms . Conger though.
Ms . Conger was a teacher. Youinsert your title, whether it's
father, friend, executivemanager, supervisor. You insert
your title. Ms . Conger's was ateacher. In order for Ms .
Conger to be successful, sheneeded her students to show up,
learn and grow. The challengewas me, as one of her students,
(19:12):
I was not showing up to schoolto learn and grow. Okay .
Honestly, I was showing up toschool for free food and
safety.
Troy Blaser (19:19):
Yeah.
Alyson Van Hooser (19:19):
I knew that at least if I go to school, I'm
gonna have breakfast and lunch. We qualified for that from a
low income standpoint. Mm-hmm .
, I didn't alwayshave dinner, but I knew if I
went to school, I'd have lunch.
And then safety back in thosedays, back in those days, like
I'm so old. But back then wethought school was safe. You
know , the narrative isshifting today , but school is
(19:41):
safe . And at least I thought,you know, if I get myself up
and I get myself on the bus, atleast I can go and just breathe
for a little while.
Troy Blaser (19:50):
Yeah.
Alyson Van Hooser (19:51):
And so her showing up, she could have been
the best teacher in the world.
You might be the best,technically the smartest in the
room, et cetera . But none ofthat was convincing me to go
all in with and help herachieve her goal, to be a
better teacher, to get apromotion, to earn a raise. I
wasn't learning and growing.
And that was had nothing to dowith her technical skills, but
everything to do with, I had aparamount need and she wasn't
(20:13):
serving it . But Ms . Congerdid something that all of us
can do. Miss Conger every daygot to know each student's
story. She would do somethingas simple as this. Listen
carefully. She might start offthe day and she would say
something like, in 15 seconds,she'd say, last night I made
Kentucky Fried Chicken fordinner all throughout the day,
(20:34):
I want each of you to come upto my desk and tell me what you
had for dinner last night . Oneby one , she'd call us up there
and she would be listeningfor--she didn't have to give it
this name; I'll give it thisname--but she'd be listening
for the paramount need. What'sgoing on in this person's life?
What's their story? What'stheir paramount need? Some kids
would come up to her desk, nodoubt. They'd probably say
(20:55):
something like, Ms . Conger , Ihad baked chicken and asparagus
last night, and my mom wouldonly let me drink water. And it
was gross. , somethinglike that . So she hears this
story and she's hearing mom,maybe probably dad at home too,
eating healthy food. Okay. Andthe kid would go on, another
kid might come up and theywould say, well, it was my week
(21:17):
to be at my dad's house, and Ihad to go to my stepbrother's
ball game . So we had hot dogslast night. So she's hearing,
okay, broken home was with thedad. The dad made sure the kid
was fed. They had a good time.
The kid goes on. She called meup to her desk. And there were
probably more times than notwhere I said something like, we
had dinner at the neighbor'shouse last night, or maybe we
(21:38):
didn't have anything to eatlast night, but my dad let me
stay out till the streetlightscame on. Yeah . And she hears
this story and she startsuncovering that, oh, I never
hear Alyson talk about a mom.
Maybe she doesn't have a mom athome. And she asks a different
question later. All the whileshe's listening for what's most
important to Alyson, how do Iconnect with Alyson? How do I
(21:58):
influence Alyson to go all inin this classroom for her good
and for mine? Mm-hmm .
, Ms . Conger didsomething and I'm , I can't
give you all the details. Wedon't have time for it . But Ms
. Conger came up to me one dayand asked me if I wanted to say
after school , and she'd fix myhair for picture day .
Troy Blaser (22:17):
Hmm
Alyson Van Hooser (22:17):
Something that was way outside of her job
description. Nowhere in therealm of something she should
do. But leaders do the thingsthat everybody could do, but
very few are willing to takethe action to get them that
result. Long story short, Istay after school. She rolls up
my naturally red hair . It'snot red now , so if you're not
watching video , I , but it's ,she rolls it up in rollers. And
(22:42):
I remember sitting at that deskwith her and nothing else
mattered. Nothing else seemedto matter to Ms . Conger but
me. Yeah . Yeah . I remembershe didn't try to multitask.
She wasn't answering emailwhile I'm talking. She wasn't
looking at a watch. I rememberher co-teacher, Stacy, poked
her head in the room and said ,Christie , and started to talk.
And Ms . Conger never broke eyecontact with me and just waved
(23:04):
Stacy away. Not right now.
Stacy , I'm with Alyson. Howoften do we miss moments to
connect with people becausewe're trying to multitask or
because we're so busy? Yeah .
If we just stop what we'redoing and give them our
attention, they might for amoment think, I must be the
most important person to youright now.
Troy Blaser (23:22):
Yeah, you probably felt that way.
Alyson Van Hooser (23:25):
Absolutely.
But what ha... What was mostthe , the transformational
moment for me was whenever I goto bed, I get up the next
morning, I think I want my , myhair is curly. I had never seen
it this way before. I rememberas an eight-year-old little
girl thinking, this looks sobeautiful. Like how do I make
this stay ? And there was nomom at home. It was just my
(23:46):
dad. And my dad back then wasrocking the mullet hairstyle
made famous by Billy Ray Cyrus
Troy Blaser (23:52):
I remember , I remember
Alyson Van Hooser (23:55):
It wasn't business in the front party in
the back . His was party allover. Okay . So it was spiked
up on top frosted tips. And Iremember thinking, "That's not
natural. How does he get thatto stay, Troy?"
Troy Blaser (24:08):
.
Alyson Van Hooser (24:09):
And so I go digging around in the bathroom,
I pull out a can of firm-holdmousse , and I squirt this
mousse in my hand. It shouldpuff up like shaving cream. But
I didn't know how to hold thecan. So it just puddled like
water in my hand. And I takethis wet liquid ,and I put it
all over my dry hair. And Iwent back and looked in that
mirror, and I no longer looklike the girl that I thought
was so beautiful. Instead, Ilook like a drowned rat
(24:32):
. Honestly , I go to schoolbecause I have to . I'm
freaking out . I'm anxiousthinking Ms . Conger's gonna
kill me. All I knew that in myfamily was, if the smallest
mistake happened, everythinghit the fan. Yeah . I'm
thinking, what , what is Ms .
Conger gonna do? I turned thatcorner down the third grade
hallway. She's standing firstdoor on the left, we meet eyes
(24:54):
and she pauses like, obviously,just as I expected. That's all
I have known . Likeeverything's hit the fan now.
But in true Christie Congerfashion--let me say this. There
may be some listeners thatyou're thinking, I do not get
this at all from a hairperspective. You're about to
get it from a heartperspective--
Troy Blaser (25:16):
Okay.
Alyson Van Hooser (25:17):
Ms . Conger throws open her arms and just
comes running to me saying,Alyson, you look so beautiful.
And she pulls me in with bothof her arms. And I can remember
even right now, cold chills onmy arms. I've told this story
hundreds of times. I rememberhow that hug felt. I remember
her arms around me because itchanged my life. Because in
(25:39):
that moment I thought, I wonderif this is what love is.
Troy Blaser (25:44):
Yeah.
Alyson Van Hooser (25:45):
Because I didn't know this at home. At
home, I had thought, well, ifthis is love, I don't want
anything to do with the familygrowing up. But I think now I'm
sitting here talking with you.
I'm a mother of four and awife. And I think that dream
started right then.
Troy Blaser (25:59):
Yeah.
Alyson Van Hooser (26:00):
And it only happened because I had a
paramount need, not to learn.
That was a need. Right . But myparamount need was to know that
I mattered to somebody. Andwhen that paramount need was
met, even though how to goabout meeting that paramount
need was unorthodox, I suddenlystarted showing up to school
differently. And here's thepower of infinite influence.
(26:23):
Yes, you have the power tochange someone's life forever.
Ms . Conger did that by servingmy paramount need. But I work
with business leaders. Andimagine in that moment, I made
a commitment to myself thatfrom now on, because I know I
mattered to Ms . Conger becauseshe served my paramount need ,
I started showing up to schoolsaying , how can I be great for
(26:43):
Ms . Conger? What do I need tolearn ? Yeah . How do I be the
first one to finish thespelling test , learn those
multiplication tables? MaybeI'll get in gifted and
talented. That would make herproud. And here's what I say.
When it comes to buildinginfinite influence , how much
more successful could yourorganization be if employees
showed up every day saying ,"How can I be great for Troy ?
How can I be great for Michael?
Whatever it takes, I'm all inhere." Yeah. And it all hinges
(27:07):
on you making a few seconds tolisten to somebody's story,
uncover their paramount need,and they be willing to choose
to take the action to servethat need. It may be something
that you feel like youshouldn't have to do, but how
it would it , how I havelearned in my 34 years of life
that you can roll your eyes orroll up your sleeves. Only one
(27:28):
of those choices gets you goodresults. And so I think whether
we're talking about family,community, or business, if you
wanna make a difference withwhat you do every day , if you
wanna make your work worth it,you'll be focused on the
infinite influence strategy.
Get to know somebody's story,uncover the paramount need. It
may mean I have to dressdifferently. Yeah . Hence, CEO
(27:50):
saying, "If you want me torespect you more, if you wanna
earn greater success here, youneed to show up differently." I
could've said, "This isn'tfair. I shouldn't have to." But
what I know is back to that,"roll your eyes or roll up your
sleeves." Yeah. It's seen thatyou serve somebody differently.
You communicate differently,but you don't know . You don't
know how to correctly leadsomeone unless you know their
(28:12):
story. Otherwise, you findyourself making a lot of
assumptions , treating peoplethe way you wanna be treated.
When today's workforce is sodiverse, they require a
tailored approach. So, I'msorry that story was so long,
Troy, but I hope it waseye-opening into the power, the
transformational power of theinfinite influence mindset .
Troy Blaser (28:30):
Sure. Absolutely.
I, it was a great story andthank you for sharing it . It's
inspiring. It, it , I , I'vehad thoughts on like four
different levels here as youwere sharing that story. Number
one, my wife is an elementaryschool teacher, so every once
in a while, not quite the samekind of story, but I love to
hear the stories that sheshares with her, um , you know,
with the students that sheinteracts with. Um, I spend
(28:53):
time as a hobby. I, I coach ourhigh school mountain bike team,
and so I'm interacting with,with young men and young women.
And so now I get to thinkabout, okay, what are you
doing, Troy, to find out theirparamount needs? What kinds of
questions can you be asking?
Um, all of that separate fromwork and professional life, you
(29:14):
know , um, like you said, itcan affect us in , in our
careers, in our community, inour families, all kinds of
places.
Alyson Van Hooser (29:21):
I'm so glad that hit home for you. Thank
you for sharing that with me .
Troy Blaser (29:24):
Yeah. I, as you know, thinking about, okay, so
the , the podcast is SimplyFeedback. What are some of the
ways that you use feedback inthe work that you do ? Whether
it's keynote or , you know ,maybe it's coaching , uh, um,
or teaching a training session.
What are some of the ways thatyou use feedback in your work?
Alyson Van Hooser (29:42):
One of the best tools I have discovered to
gather feedback as a speaker,so anybody can use this and
it's free, is a tool calledTalk A dot . It allows me to
get immediate feedback based onthe presentation I just gave,
asking them, was this valuablefor you ? What was your biggest
takeaway ? It's because I havesought out feedback that I came
(30:03):
up with infinite influence. Ididn't see the power of the
story that was, that was, isnow evident throughout my
entire life. I didn't see ituntil I got feedback from other
people until I said, will youplease , if this was valuable
for you , will you please takea moment to tell me what was
good, what was bad, et cetera?
And through that feedback, Ithink it allows us to just
(30:25):
tailor what we do going forwardto be more impactful. I think
we all have a purpose ingathering feedback from other
people, people we trust. Um,not always people we like, but
people we trust . Right . Andunderstanding how we're
currently impact the worldmight laser focus us to have an
even greater impact goingforward.
Troy Blaser (30:42):
I love that.
That's fantastic. Well, Alyson,is there, is there anything
else you would share with ouraudience? Any other advice or
tips, things that they shouldkeep in mind as they're
listening to our, our podcasttoday?
Alyson Van Hooser (30:55):
I think the only other thing I would say is
that we talked a lot aboutinfinite influence and thinking
about what does someone elseneed from me in order to go all
in. I would just encourage youto consider, there might be a
story you need to hear, buteven more importantly, there
might be a story you need totell. Mm-hmm . Right off the
bat, I told you all a story. Idon't know how that positioned
(31:17):
me in your mind, but youmight've come on here and heard
this young southern accent andthought, well, what in the
world is she gonna be able toteach me? But I hope that by
the end of this podcast thatmaybe I've shifted your
perspective about me a littlebit. Maybe I've earned a little
bit of influence with youthrough hearing my story. And
so I would not, or I guess Iwould see , I would encourage
(31:38):
you to seize the opportunity tosay, what is the story that I
need to tell about my own life?
Because we all have one thatmight open doors to greater
opportunity, greater impactthat is far beyond anything I
could have imagined at thispoint. I hope that for you, I
want that for you. And justknow that for you, Troy, for
you, Michael, and anybody elselistening to this, I'm wishing
you huge success, huge impact,and I believe in you.
Troy Blaser (32:02):
Thank you. That's, that's fantastic. It's, I was
just, I was just telling mycolleague the other day in my
life, I feel like I'm not avery good storyteller. Um, I'm
, I'm good at facts and historyand figures and things like
that , but when it comes totrying to tell stories about my
own life , I feel like I'm notvery good at it . So that's
probably something that I canpractice and I can work on and
figure out ways to share mystory in , in ways that will
(32:24):
help influence somebody elsefor good. So
Alyson Van Hooser (32:27):
I love that .
Troy Blaser (32:29):
Well, Alyson, if, if somebody wants to know more,
if they want to continue theconversation with you , um,
what should they do? Is thatsomething you would be open to?
Alyson Van Hooser (32:38):
Absolutely.
You can find out moreinformation about the work that
I do at vanhooser.com or emailhello@vanhooser.com, and we can
start a conversation fromthere.
Troy Blaser (32:48):
Awesome. What a great , uh, friendly email.
hello@vanhooser .com . That'sawesome. Well, thank you so
much for the time you spentwith us today. I really enjoyed
our conversation. I've lovedhearing your stories. I, I , I
said it earlier. I found themto be inspiring and , uh, so
it's great to get to know youjust a little bit. Thank you.
Alyson Van Hooser (33:06):
Thank you so much, Troy. I look forward to
talking with you again soon.
What I know is back to that "roll your eyes
or roll up your sleeves."Seeing that you serve somebody
differently. You communicatedifferently, but you don't know
... You don't know how tocorrectly lead someone unless
you know their story.
Otherwise, you find yourselfmaking a lot of assumptions,
treating people the way youwant to be treated. When
today's workforce is so diverse, they require a tailored
(00:22):
approach.
Troy Blaser (00:27):
Hello, welcome to Simply Feedback , the podcast
brought to you byLearningBridge. I'm your host,
Troy Blaser. I'm super excitedabout our guest today. Our
guest is Alyson Van Hooser ofVan Hooser Associates. Let me
just tell you a little bitabout Alyson. She is a keynote
speaker, a leadershipauthority, and author. Having
personally experienced thetransformative impact of
(00:50):
intentional leadership, Alysonis on a mission to develop
highly effective leaders. Sheunderstands what it takes to
effectively attract, retain,and influence a team to go all
in. Despite a hard upbringing,Alyson learned the power of an
ownership mindset, which hasled her to rapid success in
business and in her role as awife and model four. Through
(01:12):
keynotes and training, booksand consulting, she guides
existing and aspiring leadersto make changes that drive
bottom-line results. Aligningradical responsibility with
proven strategies for success,her down to earth style will
hit the heart, open the mind,and push anyone forward in
life. Alyson, welcome to SimplyFeedback. It's so good to have
(01:34):
you with us today.
Alyson Van Hooser (01:35):
Thank you so much. I'm honored to be here
today and can't wait to diginto some practical techniques
that can teach you, thelisteners, some value in how
you move forward and interactwith people every single day. I
appreciate you. Glad to behere.
Troy Blaser (01:49):
Awesome. Well, maybe just to help us get to
know you a little bit, becauseI, I, I love a good story. So I
always like to ask you thisquestion here on Simply
Feedback. I wonder if there's atime you can think of where
somebody gave you some feedbackthat maybe had an impact on
your life or on your career, orwhatever it might be, but kind
of maybe was a turning pointfor you. Do you have a story
(02:09):
you could share with us?
Alyson Van Hooser (02:11):
Absolutely.
I, I, immediately, my mind goesto being in my twenties in the
workforce and sitting downface-to-face with the CEO of a
bank for my annual performanceevaluation. Okay. I remember I
was an employee that I'mguessing you and people
listening to this podcast couldprobably say the same thing. So
(02:31):
this is not me tooting my horn.
This is just establishing afoundation, sort of just who
I'm is whatever I commit to,I'm all in. So from a work
perspective, I'm gonna show upevery day . I'm gonna give it
my best. I'm gonna do my bestjob for the organization, for
the customer, and for myself.
So when it comes time to havean annual review, I honestly, I
(02:53):
look forward to it . And Ididn't dread it very often ,
because typically I was gonnaget , you know , above
expectations, exceedsexpectations, get a nice raise
or a nice bonus, something likethat . Yeah . Not because I'm
incredible, but simply becauseI just showed up with the
mindset to do good every day .
So, with that being said , I'msitting across the desk from
(03:14):
the bank , CEO, who I reportedto at that time , and he's
going through my performanceevaluation, and as he's
talking, he's saying,
expectations. And like my chestis puffing up. I'm thinking ,
yeah , another good year. Butthen we were halfway through
(03:37):
the conversation and he pauses,and I remember he sets down his
notes on his desk , and he sortof scoots back his seat , and I
noticed the red like creep uphis neck . Mm-hmm . And his
face gets flushed . He'snervous, like beads of sweat
forming on his forehead. I'mthinking, what's this all
(03:57):
about? And he says, after a bigswallow and a deep breath,
Alyson, when it comes toappearance on your performance
evaluation, it was hard for meto give you a score of average
(04:18):
of meets expectations. Oh, wow.
He said, I was tempted to giveyou below. And as he's saying
this, his voice is trembling.
He's wildly uncomfortable. Heand I have worked together
really closely for years now.
And so when he says this, eventhough he's nervous, my first
reaction was I was, first, Iwas ignorant and immature in my
(04:40):
twenties, I laughed like ,whatcha talking about like me ,
my , my appearance . All ofthis rapidly going through my
head, I'm thinking, this is nota man sitting there giving me a
meets expectations on myappearance at work. But then
suddenly I'm thinking , what'sthe catch here ? Something's
going on . I'm asking him ,whatcha talking about ? Sure .
(05:02):
He said , his name is Tim.
Whatcha talking about Tim? Andhe said, here's the thing,
Alyson, when you're here, youdo good work . He said, but
consider for a moment, we'reputting you in front of
multimillion dollar clients andhalf the time you show up and
you look like a million bucks ,someone comes in to meet you ,
(05:23):
you look like you take care ofyourself. Of course you can
take care of my money. But hesaid , another 50% of the time
you show up looking like youjust rolled out of bed, like
with your hair up, no makeupon, and just disheveled. And he
said, I wonder if I havecustomers, multimillion dollar
customers coming in to meetwith you. And they might pause
(05:44):
for just a moment and think tothemselves, she can't take care
of herself. Can I trust her totake care of my money ? Hmm .
Yeah . That was feedback that Ireceived that changed the way I
thought about how important itis that I show up to every day
, show up every day , preparednot to just do good work, but
(06:06):
to look in a way that inspiressomebody to trust and respect
me, especially if I'm coming inas the youngest person in the
room, as the underdog, etcetera . And so from there,
that feedback made me moreintentional about how I show up
from the inside out. And evennow, you know , you mentioned
that I'm a keynote speaker, Iwalk on stage. Typically my
(06:27):
audiences are full ofexecutives of companies,
billion dollar companies, and Iwalk in and I'm the youngest in
the room. Yeah . And there arepeople who right off the bat,
if I don't earn their respectand their trust and a small
part of that, whether we likeit or not, the is what you look
like, I've gotta have my acttogether. So feedback that
(06:47):
helped me be a more successfulprofessional, more successful
business owner, hands down, itwas not easy to hear, but it
was valuable piece of feedbackfor me to get. Was that, that
feedback right there, that itcouldn't have been easy to
give.
Troy Blaser (06:59):
I I was just gonna say, it probably wasn't easy to
give either
Alyson Van Hooser (07:03):
Can you imagine doing that?
Troy Blaser (07:05):
No. In fact, I'm thinking, why is this even on
the performance review in thefirst place? But I guess in
that instance where you'reinteracting with customers,
right? Yep . As much as it , aswe may think, oh, we've, our
society has moved past that,it's still true. We all of us
judge on appearance at firstglance. Right?
Alyson Van Hooser (07:24):
It's so true. And you have to know your
customer. There may be some whocouldn't care less about that.
Then there may be some, andwe'll, we'll get to this when
we talk about infiniteinfluence later, there might be
some who, if you want to earntheir trust and respect, it's
the little things like that,that you have those needs you
have to serve in order to getthem to go all in with you, for
your good and for theirs.
Troy Blaser (07:44):
Yeah. Well, that's very interesting, a , a cool
story to hear and and crazykind of feedback to have to, to
think about receiving andgiving. So we've heard so far,
you've, you worked at a bank,you know, you talked about that
performance review , butcurrently you've talked about
being a keynote speaker amongother things and a book that
you've written . Uh , did yougrow up wanting to be a keynote
(08:07):
speaker ? Was , or was theresome turning point in your
career that kind of got you onthe path you're on now?
Alyson Van Hooser (08:12):
There absolutely was a turning point.
I , I grew up without a mom.
She left whenever I was reallyyoung and when I was 13 , I'm
giving you a little bit ofbackstory because it helps you
understand the turning point.
When I was 13 , I wasbabysitting. I come home from
babysitting, the parent droppedme off at my house and nobody
(08:33):
was home. Not my dad, not myolder brother, not my younger
sister. And from there, I'vebeen on my own. My dad was
gone, and he never came back.
No mom, no dad at home, nofamily. So I figured out how to
get through high school andwhen I was growing up, way back
in the 19 hundreds
(08:53):
need to go to college . So Iwent to college , college, got
a business degree. I met my nowhusband when I was 15, so two
years after my dad left.
Troy Blaser (09:02):
Okay.
Alyson Van Hooser (09:03):
Ever since then, his dad, Phil Van Hooser,
has sort of filled the fatherrole in my life. When I was in
my early, early twenties, rightoutside of college, I went
through a leadershipdevelopment training program
that Phil led. He led in ourcommunity to develop emerging
leaders. I went into that bankone day, used a process, a
(09:28):
technique. He taught me to sellan idea to a decision maker.
And it worked. The idea was toeliminate my position and
restructure the organization.
Some people thought I wascutting my feet out from under
me , but it worked. They endedup restructuring the
organization. I got anopportunity to work on projects
(09:48):
that I never would haveotherwise. And that bank, that
CEO urged me to get involved inthe community. I served as a
city councilwoman for a coupleof years in my twenties. And at
the end of that, I was at thiscrossroads, okay , do I go all
in with politics and run formayor and just do that
full-time, forego the corporateworld and do that? Or do I just
(10:12):
back all the way out of it?
Because as a city councilwoman,I was just dipping my toe into
it. I didn't have a lot of, Ididn't have a lot of decision
making power. Sure . And so Icalled Phil, the guy who was
filling the father role in mylife, and I said, Phil, what do
I do? What should I go intopolitics or stay in the
corporate world? And Phil justvery plainly said, Alyson, I've
(10:33):
known you for a very long time,and I've told you since you
were a teenager, that I thinkyou've got a story to share.
And now you have enoughexperience under your belt. I
think there's a lot of peoplein this world you could help. I
think we should go intobusiness together. And I've got
cold chills , even now as I saythat
moment. It was like, you knowwhat? Nothing else is an
(10:54):
option, but this, this is nowwhat I'm called to do. I can
see how everything I've beenthrough up to this point has
equipped me for this today. Sothere was a turning point.
There was a moment that I said,this is what I'm gonna do for
the rest of my life . And now ,um, I continue to get
confirmation that I'm doingexactly what I'm supposed to ,
if there's anybody listening tothis , that you arrive in a
(11:16):
season where you can say thesame thing that I'm doing
exactly what I know I put hereto do.
Troy Blaser (11:23):
That . That's so fantastic. And it's, it's
wonderful to feel like you'vefound the thing that you're
passionate about and you, andyou get to do it every day ,
you know? Yes . That , thatgonna work is not a , a drag.
It's not the , you know, it's,it could be the highlight of
your day instead of the , thelow light of your day.
Alyson Van Hooser (11:41):
So true. And it , you with anything, it's
not, it's not all roses. Wouldyou agree? I mean, yeah,
Troy Blaser (11:47):
For sure. Sure .
Um ,
Alyson Van Hooser (11:48):
Well, I love what I do. There's still
moments where it's, it's workand you're dragging through the
mud to create new ideas and getthe word out there. But
overall, yeah, I agree. It'sgreat to come to work every day
,
Troy Blaser (12:00):
talk, you mentioned one of yourbooks, infinite Influence,
you've , you've written a fewdifferent books though. Um, if
, if I've got 'em right. LevelUp: Elevate your Game and Crush
Your Goals is, is. Was thatyour first book?
Alyson Van Hooser (12:13):
That was my very first book, yes.
Troy Blaser (12:15):
Tell us about Level Up . Tell us what it's
about, first of all, but then Iwanna know too, like, why did
you decide to write it
Yeah .
Alyson Van Hooser (12:23):
Well, Level Up is very much a personal and
professional development book.
We're talking about all of thebasics of how do we get our
mind right ? And then what isthe foundation we need to move
forward and be successful inthe business world at work. I
wrote that book initially inmind. I had in mind, you know,
the , the person who's justcoming out of high school and
(12:43):
entering the work workforce, orthe person who's coming out of
college and entering theworkforce. Someone in their
early twenties who was about toembark on a journey. I was just
leaving. I was entering mythirties when I wrote that
book. Cool. But what's beeninteresting about that is that
I hear from CEOs who say, oh mygosh, this opened my eyes from
(13:04):
an emotional intelligencestandpoint, from how to
navigate conflict, from how toget my own mind, right? So that
I'm not stressed out at work asfar as everything I have to do.
So it's funny how we can havean intention to serve a certain
group of people, but there'ssomeone out there with a lot
bigger dream than me for thework that I do, who is putting
(13:24):
it in the hands of people andis having a bigger impact than
I could have imagined now . Oh, that's cool. I , I didn't
grow up wanting to be anauthor. Why did I write a book?
If I could pull back thecurtain for you for a second ?
As a keynote speaker,especially when I started, I
started doing this when I was28. I still at 34, I'm finding
(13:45):
myself to be one of theyoungest people out there
speaking to business audiences.
So writing my first book wasalmost , um, it was like a
resume builder . It was togimme sort of credibility out
there in the world . And all Iknew to write about was what I,
what I knew what I hadexperienced full of , of
stories. Even that story I toldabout feedback and just how to
(14:07):
handle the workforce in a postpandemic world.
Troy Blaser (14:11):
Well, I was gonna ask you too, you mentioned
these CEOs that are saying,Hey, this book is really
helping me out. I wonder ifthere is, is some element there
of, from, from a generation toan older generation, you know,
so in other words, you'rewriting about your experience
in your twenties, but they'rereading it in today's work
environment that's differentfrom when they were in their
(14:32):
twenties. Is there something tothat where they're getting
benefit from someone who's justrecently lived that,
Alyson Van Hooser (14:38):
Oh, I hadn't thought of it that way, you're
causing me to think, but
there has to be, they, I wonderif some of them pick it up and
they have an idea of how thisis gonna go , but then when
they see that my mindsetdoesn't fit , maybe what the
typical millennial might havethat maybe it causes them to
(14:59):
engage with that book in a waythat they might not would have
otherwise. So I think you mightbe right .
Troy Blaser (15:05):
Well, let's talk for just a minute about
Infinite Influence. Youmentioned it earlier in your
story about, you know,receiving feedback on your
appearance. Um, the full title,infinite Influence: Captivate,
Connect and Compel Anyone,Anytime. That sounds like a , a
captivating title. Um , what'sthe book about?
Alyson Van Hooser (15:25):
This book will be the book that I'll talk
about for the rest of mycareer. I don't know if Level
Up will make it that far. Idon't know if Accelerate Your
Success will make it that far .
But this book will. This bookis something that found me and
through the keynotes that I diddelivering the talk about a , a
keynote on Level Up , there's awhole middle section in Level
(15:49):
Up that talks about own yourawareness and being aware of
all of the different types ofpeople around you. In a world
that's more diverse than ever.
Today's post pandemic world, itis critically important that we
understand the people aroundus, that we don't make
assumptions about who they are, what they want, et cetera .
Because if we make assumptionsabout people, I don't use
(16:11):
profanity, so I'm not gonna dothat . But you all know what
happens whenever you makeassumptions.
Troy Blaser (16:16):
Yes .
Alyson Van Hooser (16:17):
Infinite Influence is a book about
giving you a different paradigmfor seeing people. When I talk
about building infiniteinfluence over time or in a
moment , if you can influencethe people around you to wanna
have a stronger relationshipwith you , if we're talking
about family or spouses , ifyou wanna influence them to not
(16:39):
be upset with you , if youwanna influence them to buy
from you , if you wannainfluence them to support you
or give you opportunity orpartner with you, et cetera .
The foundational perspectiveyou must have in today's
diverse world is an infiniteinfluence perspective where you
see people in terms of theirparamount needs . Now ,
(17:00):
paramount needs is what thisstrategy hinges on. Let me give
you an example. I might eventell you a story if you wanna
hear it, Troy.
Troy Blaser (17:07):
I love stories.
Hit me with a story.
Alyson Van Hooser (17:09):
Well, first, there's all kinds of
motivational theory out there.
I have been through everysingle leadership development
program there is out there. Ifyou know a big name leadership
development program guarantee,I've been through it .
Troy Blaser (17:20):
Okay ?
Alyson Van Hooser (17:21):
However, also consider all of the
personality tests that are outthere. All of the big names ,
all of those we're stillmissing. We have a lot of good
leaders out there doing goodwork, but they're still not
getting the result that theywant because they're missing
the paramount need. And I thinkthat this whole idea of servant
leadership that became popularreally in the late 1900s and
(17:43):
the eighties and the nineties,even in the two thousands. We
all agree in general, mostpeople agree that people who
hold a certain position, thatleaders should work to do good
for the people around them .
But we have a lot of goodpeople doing a lot of good work
who get stressed out andburnout and never get the
traction that they could ifthey uncovered and serve the
(18:03):
paramount need . I'll give youan example. The most , most
practical example of where Ifirst saw this true in my life.
Let me ask you a questionfirst, "Did you have a teacher
that made a difference in yourlife?"
Troy Blaser (18:15):
Yeah, I can think of a couple. Yeah,
Alyson Van Hooser (18:17):
Me too. But I'm gonna tell you about one.
Okay . Her name is Ms .
Christie Conger . I like to saythere are no words. This side
of heaven for Ms . Conger . Shehad , she's about my height,
about five three if I had toguess. She has brown curly
hair, light blue, icy beautifuleyes. She wears bright red or
pink lipstick. I rememberthinking she was so beautiful .
(18:38):
She is so beautiful . She's notdead . She's not dead . She's ,
Troy Blaser (18:43):
< laugh>
Alyson Van Hooser (18:43):
So beautiful . I remember her classroom
smelled like red Starburst. Iremember everything about Ms .
Conger .
Troy Blaser (18:50):
Yeah.
Alyson Van Hooser (18:51):
Here's the deal about Ms . Conger though.
Ms . Conger was a teacher. Youinsert your title, whether it's
father, friend, executivemanager, supervisor. You insert
your title. Ms . Conger's was ateacher. In order for Ms .
Conger to be successful, sheneeded her students to show up,
learn and grow. The challengewas me, as one of her students,
(19:12):
I was not showing up to schoolto learn and grow. Okay .
Honestly, I was showing up toschool for free food and
safety.
Troy Blaser (19:19):
Yeah.
Alyson Van Hooser (19:19):
I knew that at least if I go to school, I'm
gonna have breakfast and lunch. We qualified for that from a
low income standpoint. Mm-hmm .
went to school, I'd have lunch.
And then safety back in thosedays, back in those days, like
I'm so old. But back then wethought school was safe. You
know , the narrative isshifting today , but school is
(19:41):
safe . And at least I thought,you know, if I get myself up
and I get myself on the bus, atleast I can go and just breathe
for a little while.
Troy Blaser (19:50):
Yeah.
Alyson Van Hooser (19:51):
And so her showing up, she could have been
the best teacher in the world.
You might be the best,technically the smartest in the
room, et cetera . But none ofthat was convincing me to go
all in with and help herachieve her goal, to be a
better teacher, to get apromotion, to earn a raise. I
wasn't learning and growing.
And that was had nothing to dowith her technical skills, but
everything to do with, I had aparamount need and she wasn't
(20:13):
serving it . But Ms . Congerdid something that all of us
can do. Miss Conger every daygot to know each student's
story. She would do somethingas simple as this. Listen
carefully. She might start offthe day and she would say
something like, in 15 seconds,she'd say, last night I made
Kentucky Fried Chicken fordinner all throughout the day,
(20:34):
I want each of you to come upto my desk and tell me what you
had for dinner last night . Oneby one , she'd call us up there
and she would be listeningfor--she didn't have to give it
this name; I'll give it thisname--but she'd be listening
for the paramount need. What'sgoing on in this person's life?
What's their story? What'stheir paramount need? Some kids
would come up to her desk, nodoubt. They'd probably say
(20:55):
something like, Ms . Conger , Ihad baked chicken and asparagus
last night, and my mom wouldonly let me drink water. And it
was gross.
story and she's hearing mom,maybe probably dad at home too,
eating healthy food. Okay. Andthe kid would go on, another
kid might come up and theywould say, well, it was my week
(21:17):
to be at my dad's house, and Ihad to go to my stepbrother's
ball game . So we had hot dogslast night. So she's hearing,
okay, broken home was with thedad. The dad made sure the kid
was fed. They had a good time.
The kid goes on. She called meup to her desk. And there were
probably more times than notwhere I said something like, we
had dinner at the neighbor'shouse last night, or maybe we
(21:38):
didn't have anything to eatlast night, but my dad let me
stay out till the streetlightscame on. Yeah . And she hears
this story and she startsuncovering that, oh, I never
hear Alyson talk about a mom.
Maybe she doesn't have a mom athome. And she asks a different
question later. All the whileshe's listening for what's most
important to Alyson, how do Iconnect with Alyson? How do I
(21:58):
influence Alyson to go all inin this classroom for her good
and for mine? Mm-hmm .
give you all the details. Wedon't have time for it . But Ms
. Conger came up to me one dayand asked me if I wanted to say
after school , and she'd fix myhair for picture day .
Troy Blaser (22:17):
Hmm
Alyson Van Hooser (22:17):
Something that was way outside of her job
description. Nowhere in therealm of something she should
do. But leaders do the thingsthat everybody could do, but
very few are willing to takethe action to get them that
result. Long story short, Istay after school. She rolls up
my naturally red hair . It'snot red now , so if you're not
watching video , I , but it's ,she rolls it up in rollers. And
(22:42):
I remember sitting at that deskwith her and nothing else
mattered. Nothing else seemedto matter to Ms . Conger but
me. Yeah . Yeah . I remembershe didn't try to multitask.
She wasn't answering emailwhile I'm talking. She wasn't
looking at a watch. I rememberher co-teacher, Stacy, poked
her head in the room and said ,Christie , and started to talk.
And Ms . Conger never broke eyecontact with me and just waved
(23:04):
Stacy away. Not right now.
Stacy , I'm with Alyson. Howoften do we miss moments to
connect with people becausewe're trying to multitask or
because we're so busy? Yeah .
If we just stop what we'redoing and give them our
attention, they might for amoment think, I must be the
most important person to youright now.
Troy Blaser (23:22):
Yeah, you probably felt that way.
Alyson Van Hooser (23:25):
Absolutely.
But what ha... What was mostthe , the transformational
moment for me was whenever I goto bed, I get up the next
morning, I think I want my , myhair is curly. I had never seen
it this way before. I rememberas an eight-year-old little
girl thinking, this looks sobeautiful. Like how do I make
this stay ? And there was nomom at home. It was just my
(23:46):
dad. And my dad back then wasrocking the mullet hairstyle
made famous by Billy Ray Cyrus
Troy Blaser (23:52):
I remember , I remember
Alyson Van Hooser (23:55):
It wasn't business in the front party in
the back . His was party allover. Okay . So it was spiked
up on top frosted tips. And Iremember thinking, "That's not
natural. How does he get thatto stay, Troy?"
Troy Blaser (24:08):
Alyson Van Hooser (24:09):
And so I go digging around in the bathroom,
I pull out a can of firm-holdmousse , and I squirt this
mousse in my hand. It shouldpuff up like shaving cream. But
I didn't know how to hold thecan. So it just puddled like
water in my hand. And I takethis wet liquid ,and I put it
all over my dry hair. And Iwent back and looked in that
mirror, and I no longer looklike the girl that I thought
was so beautiful. Instead, Ilook like a drowned rat
(24:32):
. Honestly , I go to schoolbecause I have to . I'm
freaking out . I'm anxiousthinking Ms . Conger's gonna
kill me. All I knew that in myfamily was, if the smallest
mistake happened, everythinghit the fan. Yeah . I'm
thinking, what , what is Ms .
Conger gonna do? I turned thatcorner down the third grade
hallway. She's standing firstdoor on the left, we meet eyes
(24:54):
and she pauses like, obviously,just as I expected. That's all
I have known . Likeeverything's hit the fan now.
But in true Christie Congerfashion--let me say this. There
may be some listeners thatyou're thinking, I do not get
this at all from a hairperspective. You're about to
get it from a heartperspective--
Troy Blaser (25:16):
Okay.
Alyson Van Hooser (25:17):
Ms . Conger throws open her arms and just
comes running to me saying,Alyson, you look so beautiful.
And she pulls me in with bothof her arms. And I can remember
even right now, cold chills onmy arms. I've told this story
hundreds of times. I rememberhow that hug felt. I remember
her arms around me because itchanged my life. Because in
(25:39):
that moment I thought, I wonderif this is what love is.
Troy Blaser (25:44):
Yeah.
Alyson Van Hooser (25:45):
Because I didn't know this at home. At
home, I had thought, well, ifthis is love, I don't want
anything to do with the familygrowing up. But I think now I'm
sitting here talking with you.
I'm a mother of four and awife. And I think that dream
started right then.
Troy Blaser (25:59):
Yeah.
Alyson Van Hooser (26:00):
And it only happened because I had a
paramount need, not to learn.
That was a need. Right . But myparamount need was to know that
I mattered to somebody. Andwhen that paramount need was
met, even though how to goabout meeting that paramount
need was unorthodox, I suddenlystarted showing up to school
differently. And here's thepower of infinite influence.
(26:23):
Yes, you have the power tochange someone's life forever.
Ms . Conger did that by servingmy paramount need. But I work
with business leaders. Andimagine in that moment, I made
a commitment to myself thatfrom now on, because I know I
mattered to Ms . Conger becauseshe served my paramount need ,
I started showing up to schoolsaying , how can I be great for
(26:43):
Ms . Conger? What do I need tolearn ? Yeah . How do I be the
first one to finish thespelling test , learn those
multiplication tables? MaybeI'll get in gifted and
talented. That would make herproud. And here's what I say.
When it comes to buildinginfinite influence , how much
more successful could yourorganization be if employees
showed up every day saying ,"How can I be great for Troy ?
How can I be great for Michael?
Whatever it takes, I'm all inhere." Yeah. And it all hinges
(27:07):
on you making a few seconds tolisten to somebody's story,
uncover their paramount need,and they be willing to choose
to take the action to servethat need. It may be something
that you feel like youshouldn't have to do, but how
it would it , how I havelearned in my 34 years of life
that you can roll your eyes orroll up your sleeves. Only one
(27:28):
of those choices gets you goodresults. And so I think whether
we're talking about family,community, or business, if you
wanna make a difference withwhat you do every day , if you
wanna make your work worth it,you'll be focused on the
infinite influence strategy.
Get to know somebody's story,uncover the paramount need. It
may mean I have to dressdifferently. Yeah . Hence, CEO
(27:50):
saying, "If you want me torespect you more, if you wanna
earn greater success here, youneed to show up differently." I
could've said, "This isn'tfair. I shouldn't have to." But
what I know is back to that,"roll your eyes or roll up your
sleeves." Yeah. It's seen thatyou serve somebody differently.
You communicate differently,but you don't know . You don't
know how to correctly leadsomeone unless you know their
(28:12):
story. Otherwise, you findyourself making a lot of
assumptions , treating peoplethe way you wanna be treated.
When today's workforce is sodiverse, they require a
tailored approach. So, I'msorry that story was so long,
Troy, but I hope it waseye-opening into the power, the
transformational power of theinfinite influence mindset .
Troy Blaser (28:30):
Sure. Absolutely.
I, it was a great story andthank you for sharing it . It's
inspiring. It, it , I , I'vehad thoughts on like four
different levels here as youwere sharing that story. Number
one, my wife is an elementaryschool teacher, so every once
in a while, not quite the samekind of story, but I love to
hear the stories that sheshares with her, um , you know,
with the students that sheinteracts with. Um, I spend
(28:53):
time as a hobby. I, I coach ourhigh school mountain bike team,
and so I'm interacting with,with young men and young women.
And so now I get to thinkabout, okay, what are you
doing, Troy, to find out theirparamount needs? What kinds of
questions can you be asking?
Um, all of that separate fromwork and professional life, you
(29:14):
know , um, like you said, itcan affect us in , in our
careers, in our community, inour families, all kinds of
places.
Alyson Van Hooser (29:21):
I'm so glad that hit home for you. Thank
you for sharing that with me .
Troy Blaser (29:24):
Yeah. I, as you know, thinking about, okay, so
the , the podcast is SimplyFeedback. What are some of the
ways that you use feedback inthe work that you do ? Whether
it's keynote or , you know ,maybe it's coaching , uh, um,
or teaching a training session.
What are some of the ways thatyou use feedback in your work?
Alyson Van Hooser (29:42):
One of the best tools I have discovered to
gather feedback as a speaker,so anybody can use this and
it's free, is a tool calledTalk A dot . It allows me to
get immediate feedback based onthe presentation I just gave,
asking them, was this valuablefor you ? What was your biggest
takeaway ? It's because I havesought out feedback that I came
(30:03):
up with infinite influence. Ididn't see the power of the
story that was, that was, isnow evident throughout my
entire life. I didn't see ituntil I got feedback from other
people until I said, will youplease , if this was valuable
for you , will you please takea moment to tell me what was
good, what was bad, et cetera?
And through that feedback, Ithink it allows us to just
(30:25):
tailor what we do going forwardto be more impactful. I think
we all have a purpose ingathering feedback from other
people, people we trust. Um,not always people we like, but
people we trust . Right . Andunderstanding how we're
currently impact the worldmight laser focus us to have an
even greater impact goingforward.
Troy Blaser (30:42):
I love that.
That's fantastic. Well, Alyson,is there, is there anything
else you would share with ouraudience? Any other advice or
tips, things that they shouldkeep in mind as they're
listening to our, our podcasttoday?
Alyson Van Hooser (30:55):
I think the only other thing I would say is
that we talked a lot aboutinfinite influence and thinking
about what does someone elseneed from me in order to go all
in. I would just encourage youto consider, there might be a
story you need to hear, buteven more importantly, there
might be a story you need totell. Mm-hmm . Right off the
bat, I told you all a story. Idon't know how that positioned
(31:17):
me in your mind, but youmight've come on here and heard
this young southern accent andthought, well, what in the
world is she gonna be able toteach me? But I hope that by
the end of this podcast thatmaybe I've shifted your
perspective about me a littlebit. Maybe I've earned a little
bit of influence with youthrough hearing my story. And
so I would not, or I guess Iwould see , I would encourage
(31:38):
you to seize the opportunity tosay, what is the story that I
need to tell about my own life?
Because we all have one thatmight open doors to greater
opportunity, greater impactthat is far beyond anything I
could have imagined at thispoint. I hope that for you, I
want that for you. And justknow that for you, Troy, for
you, Michael, and anybody elselistening to this, I'm wishing
you huge success, huge impact,and I believe in you.
Troy Blaser (32:02):
Thank you. That's, that's fantastic. It's, I was
just, I was just telling mycolleague the other day in my
life, I feel like I'm not avery good storyteller. Um, I'm
, I'm good at facts and historyand figures and things like
that , but when it comes totrying to tell stories about my
own life , I feel like I'm notvery good at it . So that's
probably something that I canpractice and I can work on and
figure out ways to share mystory in , in ways that will
(32:24):
help influence somebody elsefor good. So
Alyson Van Hooser (32:27):
I love that .
Troy Blaser (32:29):
Well, Alyson, if, if somebody wants to know more,
if they want to continue theconversation with you , um,
what should they do? Is thatsomething you would be open to?
Alyson Van Hooser (32:38):
Absolutely.
You can find out moreinformation about the work that
I do at vanhooser.com or emailhello@vanhooser.com, and we can
start a conversation fromthere.
Troy Blaser (32:48):
Awesome. What a great , uh, friendly email.
hello@vanhooser .com . That'sawesome. Well, thank you so
much for the time you spentwith us today. I really enjoyed
our conversation. I've lovedhearing your stories. I, I , I
said it earlier. I found themto be inspiring and , uh, so
it's great to get to know youjust a little bit. Thank you.
Alyson Van Hooser (33:06):
Thank you so much, Troy. I look forward to
talking with you again soon.
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