December 19, 2024 • 16 mins
Balancing the festive cheer with the realities of single motherhood can feel like juggling snowflakes in a blizzard. As a single mom navigating the Christmas season, I'm sharing my journey from excitement to exhaustion and offering strategic insights to keep the holiday spirit alive without breaking the bank.
But let's not forget the importance of taking care of ourselves amid the holiday chaos. This episode focuses on the necessity of self-care, emphasizing that setting aside a little extra for personal joy is just as crucial as finding the perfect gift for our kids.
https://singlemomsunitedpodcast.com/
It's not how you arrived at the title, but what you do with it.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hey ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United
podcast, where we can't spellunited without you.
Thank you so much for joiningtoday.
If this is your first timelistening, welcome If you're a
repeat listener.
Thank you, thank you, thank youfor your loyalty.
I cannot express that enough.
(00:25):
As I listen back to my podcastand I'm like, oh my gosh, I
sound so nasal For you all thatare pushing through it and
paying attention to the content.
Virtual high five to you, fistbump.
I certainly appreciate it.
All right, so let's get down tothe nitty gritty of today's
(00:48):
episode, which is entitledExcited but Exhausted, and this
really links back to theChristmas holiday season.
So much is going on and, as asingle mom, if you are working,
like I was working a whole lotwas happening.
(01:09):
Most of it was happening in ashort period of time.
I remember back in the day, youknow, raising my kids.
During that time it was a lot.
They had Christmas programs atschool, christmas programs at
school, at church, and theneverybody wanted to do something
different.
And then you had to goChristmas shopping.
(01:35):
You had to find money to buythe presents, then you had to
hide the presents or hide themerchandise before you wrapped
it and then put it under thetree.
Make sure you had an equalamount of presents for each kid.
Now, if you only have one child, so you're doing good, but for
me I had to make sure I had anequal amount, because they will
point it out how come he gotmore than I did?
(01:55):
How come she got more than Idid?
Or she got one more than me, orhe got one more than me.
Blah, blah, blah.
Right, I had to make sure therewere a balanced number of
presents During this time, inthe short period of time trying
to work again, make sure,getting them ready for school
(02:16):
and then Christmas break.
What's going to happen duringthat time?
Where are they going to be andhow am I going to keep them
occupied, and so forth.
So it's very stressful,extremely stressful time of the
year when it's supposed to bevery exciting, and that's why
this episode is titled Excitedbut Exhausted.
(02:38):
One of the things again isexciting, really motivated me
with my kids is just the look ontheir faces as they open the
presents, level of excitementand especially when they got
what they wanted or what theyasked for, because I tried to do
at least one item, giving themsomething that they asked for
(03:00):
and the rest was what I canafford.
If they needed clothes andthings like that, then a good
percentage of that money wenttowards that.
So there was a level of benefitin it for me as well.
It wasn't just all about OK,mommy, I want this, I want that.
Ok, I pick one thing off of thelist that I could afford and I
(03:24):
bought it for them.
Sometimes I had to consolidate,like the game consoles.
Yeah, this is for both Okay,because if it's 200 plus dollars
, y'all gonna share this.
How about that Single mom?
That's something you have toconsider.
And some of you probably arenot as fortunate as I was,
(03:44):
because I was working and I didget a little small bonus every
year, so I had a littlesomething to play with.
And then, you know, I had a401k and then if we didn't get a
good bonus, I have to tap intothat to pay for the gifts.
But most of the time, majorityof the time, the bonus covered
(04:04):
everything, at least met myneeds.
You know I had to figure outhow I was going to disperse
those funds.
A lot of times the Christmasprograms or Christmas plays they
were in.
You know I'm like, okay, now Igot to set a little bit of this
aside because they need thisoutfit or this Christmas sweater
(04:26):
that I got to go try and find,or some other garment, depending
on what they were in.
I had to set money aside forthat.
So guess what that took awayfrom the Christmas gifts?
It's all good, but it's allabout budgeting.
So, single mom, that's the wordbudget.
So not only should you budgetthroughout the year, your
finances during this time of theyear, during the Christmas
(04:51):
holidays or the holidays ingeneral, budget, budget, budget,
budget.
How much you want to spend ongifts, how much you need to set
aside for other celebrationsthat you have to contribute to.
Like somebody needs you tobring cookies or whatever.
I know in the office duringthat time we had potlucks, so
(05:13):
everybody brought a dish intothe office, so you had to cook
or you had to go buy somethingextra.
So, again, you have to setaside additional funds for those
events.
Right Now, for young ladies thatsay you know what?
I'm not working, I'm not makingenough, I don't get a bonus, I
(05:34):
can't tap into this, I can't tapinto that.
Well, you still want yourchildren to have a Christmas,
and a decent Christmas.
Right, there are organizationsout there you can tap into, be
qualified for, to get some typeof gifts for your children.
I would just ask you, ladies,just seek these out.
(05:56):
You might can call some localnews stations.
They may have information aboutlocal charities, or the good
news is, you can Google it.
You can Google it just to makesure your child, or your
children have a couple of gifts,because that's going to make
their day right.
We have to teach our children toremember the reason for the
(06:18):
season and even if you don'tbelieve in Jesus Christ was born
in Bethlehem, you still shouldexplain to your children the
reason for Christmas.
And it really is all about himand the gifts and that's why we
give the way we do, because hislife was given for us and we
(06:41):
celebrate his birth.
Your children need to know thatbirth.
Your children need to know that.
As I mentioned in my otherepisodes around grateful and
thankful and Halloween, we haveto do a better job explaining to
our children why we arecelebrating these holidays.
You know, I talked to my nephewabout a couple of weeks ago and
(07:06):
I asked him about do you knowwhy you celebrate Halloween?
Oh, get candy, okay.
Okay.
Well, why do you celebrateThanksgiving?
I'm not sure, but I know wehave turkey.
Wow, now I'm not pointingfingers at anybody because,
listen, I didn't know either.
We can change things, ladies.
(07:27):
We can change things if we putour minds to it.
It doesn't have to stay thisway.
Just because it started outthis way, it doesn't have to
stay this way.
Here's the good news.
When I asked him aboutChristmas, he said that's when
Jesus was born.
I said oh, thank you Jesus.
I said, oh, thank you Jesus.
(07:54):
So I was so excited to hear himacknowledge and understand the
reason for the season.
And, ladies, we have to do abetter job Now.
I did explain that to my kidsthe reason for Christmas, why we
celebrated Christmas, so theyhave a clear understanding what
Christmas means.
Now here's another thing I did.
Now some folks may disagreewith this, and that's okay.
(08:15):
That's what makes the world goaround.
I told my kids I'm Santa.
Santa doesn't exist.
Everything that you have isbecause I went out and
sacrificed for.
Now I know some of you are like, oh my gosh, you really did
that to your kids.
It's about explaining reality,which goes back to the topic
(08:36):
excited but exhausted, becauseby the time this was said and
done, I could sleep for fourdays and not have any concerns,
right, because of exhaustion.
Tired, maybe that's anotherword people are familiar with.
It's a lot my kids needed tounderstand.
(08:58):
This isn't Santa bringing youthese toys.
I can't support sponsoringSanta.
I can't support that.
And guess what, ladies?
From that perspective, I thinkmy kids are fine.
There's no anger or anythingaround that.
And guess what?
I also didn't take them to themall and let them sit on Santa's
(09:21):
lap.
I didn't do that.
It's taking away from the realreason for the season.
Again, I know some people arenot going to agree with that,
and that's okay.
That's okay.
We ain't mad at each other.
That's my view, my philosophy,right?
I believe in reality andteaching reality.
(09:43):
If you've heard other episodesof this podcast, you know I'm
all about reality.
I'm not going to sugarcoatthings, because life isn't going
to sugarcoat it.
It's going to give it to youstraight, undiluted.
As a older single person, oh,I've experienced a lot.
Oh, I've experienced a lotUndiluted, real life situations.
(10:06):
If I can pay it forward, thenabsolutely.
That's what I want to do andI'm trying to do so.
At the end of the day.
Ladies, long story short.
I know too late.
Please explain to your childrenthe real reason of the season.
Also, take time out foryourself.
If you do get an extra piece ofchange, some money, take a
(10:37):
little bit of that for yourself.
Go buy you a ring, go buy you anecklace, buy some earrings or
maybe a cute pair of boots.
At the end of the day again oneof the things I realized I'm
doing all of this for everybodyelse and at the end of the day,
yes, I enjoy my children'ssmiles.
I enjoy the excitement thatthey displayed as they're
(10:59):
opening the gifts and findingout the one thing that they
asked for they did get.
That was exciting, but at theend of the day, you know, it's
like, okay, none under the treewith my name on it.
And again, this was reallyearly, early, early on, when my
(11:19):
kids were really small.
I don't know, I just didn'tthink about myself.
I would hope that you wouldtake the opportunity if you are
getting some form of additionalcash during the holidays or have
an option to choose somethingfor you, I hope you take
advantage of it, because youdeserve it.
You should be a part or be asexcited as your children during
(11:44):
this time of the year Because,at the end of the day, you move
from excitement to exhaustion.
It's a recovery process, atleast it was for me.
All right, ladies, thank you somuch for joining today.
I really appreciate all of yoursupport.
If you know another single momout there that needs to be
(12:05):
encouraged and motivated, pleaseshare with them.
Single Moms United podcast.
Let them know that this is allabout them.
There's not many podcasts outthere motivate single moms.
They talk about everything, butis there a level of motivation,
a level of you can do this andhere's how you can do this.
(12:30):
This is what was learned as aresult of not doing it this way.
So share with another singlemom.
I hope you have a fantastic day.
I hope you have a fantasticweek.
I hope you will encourage yourchild, letting them know you
love them, you're proud of thembecause guess what, ladies, that
(12:50):
goes a lot farther than gifts.
Any day of the week, you allhave a pleasant day and you take
care.
Hey ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United
podcast, where we can't spellunited without you.
Thank you so much for joiningtoday.
If this is your first timelistening, welcome If you're a
repeat listener.
Thank you, thank you, thank youfor your loyalty.
I cannot express that enough.
(00:25):
As I listen back to my podcastand I'm like, oh my gosh, I
sound so nasal For you all thatare pushing through it and
paying attention to the content.
Virtual high five to you, fistbump.
I certainly appreciate it.
All right, so let's get down tothe nitty gritty of today's
(00:48):
episode, which is entitledExcited but Exhausted, and this
really links back to theChristmas holiday season.
So much is going on and, as asingle mom, if you are working,
like I was working a whole lotwas happening.
(01:09):
Most of it was happening in ashort period of time.
I remember back in the day, youknow, raising my kids.
During that time it was a lot.
They had Christmas programs atschool, christmas programs at
school, at church, and theneverybody wanted to do something
different.
And then you had to goChristmas shopping.
(01:35):
You had to find money to buythe presents, then you had to
hide the presents or hide themerchandise before you wrapped
it and then put it under thetree.
Make sure you had an equalamount of presents for each kid.
Now, if you only have one child, so you're doing good, but for
me I had to make sure I had anequal amount, because they will
point it out how come he gotmore than I did?
(01:55):
How come she got more than Idid?
Or she got one more than me, orhe got one more than me.
Blah, blah, blah.
Right, I had to make sure therewere a balanced number of
presents During this time, inthe short period of time trying
to work again, make sure,getting them ready for school
(02:16):
and then Christmas break.
What's going to happen duringthat time?
Where are they going to be andhow am I going to keep them
occupied, and so forth.
So it's very stressful,extremely stressful time of the
year when it's supposed to bevery exciting, and that's why
this episode is titled Excitedbut Exhausted.
(02:38):
One of the things again isexciting, really motivated me
with my kids is just the look ontheir faces as they open the
presents, level of excitementand especially when they got
what they wanted or what theyasked for, because I tried to do
at least one item, giving themsomething that they asked for
(03:00):
and the rest was what I canafford.
If they needed clothes andthings like that, then a good
percentage of that money wenttowards that.
So there was a level of benefitin it for me as well.
It wasn't just all about OK,mommy, I want this, I want that.
Ok, I pick one thing off of thelist that I could afford and I
(03:24):
bought it for them.
Sometimes I had to consolidate,like the game consoles.
Yeah, this is for both Okay,because if it's 200 plus dollars
, y'all gonna share this.
How about that Single mom?
That's something you have toconsider.
And some of you probably arenot as fortunate as I was,
(03:44):
because I was working and I didget a little small bonus every
year, so I had a littlesomething to play with.
And then, you know, I had a401k and then if we didn't get a
good bonus, I have to tap intothat to pay for the gifts.
But most of the time, majorityof the time, the bonus covered
(04:04):
everything, at least met myneeds.
You know I had to figure outhow I was going to disperse
those funds.
A lot of times the Christmasprograms or Christmas plays they
were in.
You know I'm like, okay, now Igot to set a little bit of this
aside because they need thisoutfit or this Christmas sweater
(04:26):
that I got to go try and find,or some other garment, depending
on what they were in.
I had to set money aside forthat.
So guess what that took awayfrom the Christmas gifts?
It's all good, but it's allabout budgeting.
So, single mom, that's the wordbudget.
So not only should you budgetthroughout the year, your
finances during this time of theyear, during the Christmas
(04:51):
holidays or the holidays ingeneral, budget, budget, budget,
budget.
How much you want to spend ongifts, how much you need to set
aside for other celebrationsthat you have to contribute to.
Like somebody needs you tobring cookies or whatever.
I know in the office duringthat time we had potlucks, so
(05:13):
everybody brought a dish intothe office, so you had to cook
or you had to go buy somethingextra.
So, again, you have to setaside additional funds for those
events.
Right Now, for young ladies thatsay you know what?
I'm not working, I'm not makingenough, I don't get a bonus, I
(05:34):
can't tap into this, I can't tapinto that.
Well, you still want yourchildren to have a Christmas,
and a decent Christmas.
Right, there are organizationsout there you can tap into, be
qualified for, to get some typeof gifts for your children.
I would just ask you, ladies,just seek these out.
(05:56):
You might can call some localnews stations.
They may have information aboutlocal charities, or the good
news is, you can Google it.
You can Google it just to makesure your child, or your
children have a couple of gifts,because that's going to make
their day right.
We have to teach our children toremember the reason for the
(06:18):
season and even if you don'tbelieve in Jesus Christ was born
in Bethlehem, you still shouldexplain to your children the
reason for Christmas.
And it really is all about himand the gifts and that's why we
give the way we do, because hislife was given for us and we
(06:41):
celebrate his birth.
Your children need to know thatbirth.
Your children need to know that.
As I mentioned in my otherepisodes around grateful and
thankful and Halloween, we haveto do a better job explaining to
our children why we arecelebrating these holidays.
You know, I talked to my nephewabout a couple of weeks ago and
(07:06):
I asked him about do you knowwhy you celebrate Halloween?
Oh, get candy, okay.
Okay.
Well, why do you celebrateThanksgiving?
I'm not sure, but I know wehave turkey.
Wow, now I'm not pointingfingers at anybody because,
listen, I didn't know either.
We can change things, ladies.
(07:27):
We can change things if we putour minds to it.
It doesn't have to stay thisway.
Just because it started outthis way, it doesn't have to
stay this way.
Here's the good news.
When I asked him aboutChristmas, he said that's when
Jesus was born.
I said oh, thank you Jesus.
I said, oh, thank you Jesus.
(07:54):
So I was so excited to hear himacknowledge and understand the
reason for the season.
And, ladies, we have to do abetter job Now.
I did explain that to my kidsthe reason for Christmas, why we
celebrated Christmas, so theyhave a clear understanding what
Christmas means.
Now here's another thing I did.
Now some folks may disagreewith this, and that's okay.
(08:15):
That's what makes the world goaround.
I told my kids I'm Santa.
Santa doesn't exist.
Everything that you have isbecause I went out and
sacrificed for.
Now I know some of you are like, oh my gosh, you really did
that to your kids.
It's about explaining reality,which goes back to the topic
(08:36):
excited but exhausted, becauseby the time this was said and
done, I could sleep for fourdays and not have any concerns,
right, because of exhaustion.
Tired, maybe that's anotherword people are familiar with.
It's a lot my kids needed tounderstand.
(08:58):
This isn't Santa bringing youthese toys.
I can't support sponsoringSanta.
I can't support that.
And guess what, ladies?
From that perspective, I thinkmy kids are fine.
There's no anger or anythingaround that.
And guess what?
I also didn't take them to themall and let them sit on Santa's
(09:21):
lap.
I didn't do that.
It's taking away from the realreason for the season.
Again, I know some people arenot going to agree with that,
and that's okay.
That's okay.
We ain't mad at each other.
That's my view, my philosophy,right?
I believe in reality andteaching reality.
(09:43):
If you've heard other episodesof this podcast, you know I'm
all about reality.
I'm not going to sugarcoatthings, because life isn't going
to sugarcoat it.
It's going to give it to youstraight, undiluted.
As a older single person, oh,I've experienced a lot.
Oh, I've experienced a lotUndiluted, real life situations.
(10:06):
If I can pay it forward, thenabsolutely.
That's what I want to do andI'm trying to do so.
At the end of the day.
Ladies, long story short.
I know too late.
Please explain to your childrenthe real reason of the season.
Also, take time out foryourself.
If you do get an extra piece ofchange, some money, take a
(10:37):
little bit of that for yourself.
Go buy you a ring, go buy you anecklace, buy some earrings or
maybe a cute pair of boots.
At the end of the day again oneof the things I realized I'm
doing all of this for everybodyelse and at the end of the day,
yes, I enjoy my children'ssmiles.
I enjoy the excitement thatthey displayed as they're
(10:59):
opening the gifts and findingout the one thing that they
asked for they did get.
That was exciting, but at theend of the day, you know, it's
like, okay, none under the treewith my name on it.
And again, this was reallyearly, early, early on, when my
(11:19):
kids were really small.
I don't know, I just didn'tthink about myself.
I would hope that you wouldtake the opportunity if you are
getting some form of additionalcash during the holidays or have
an option to choose somethingfor you, I hope you take
advantage of it, because youdeserve it.
You should be a part or be asexcited as your children during
(11:44):
this time of the year Because,at the end of the day, you move
from excitement to exhaustion.
It's a recovery process, atleast it was for me.
All right, ladies, thank you somuch for joining today.
I really appreciate all of yoursupport.
If you know another single momout there that needs to be
(12:05):
encouraged and motivated, pleaseshare with them.
Single Moms United podcast.
Let them know that this is allabout them.
There's not many podcasts outthere motivate single moms.
They talk about everything, butis there a level of motivation,
a level of you can do this andhere's how you can do this.
(12:30):
This is what was learned as aresult of not doing it this way.
So share with another singlemom.
I hope you have a fantastic day.
I hope you have a fantasticweek.
I hope you will encourage yourchild, letting them know you
love them, you're proud of thembecause guess what, ladies, that
(12:50):
goes a lot farther than gifts.
Any day of the week, you allhave a pleasant day and you take
care.
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