February 24, 2025 • 20 mins
This episode explores effective strategies for raising resilient children amid the challenges of parenting alone. I focus on essential themes that foster strength, independence, and emotional health in kids.
• Understanding the importance of facing and managing disappointment
• Encouraging children to participate in physical activities
• Fostering independence through age-appropriate responsibilities
• Celebrating achievements to boost self-confidence
• Establishing open communication with children
• Teaching empathy and respect for others
Join me every week for more insights tailored for single mothers navigating the journey of parenting. Visit my website singlemomsunitedpodcast.com and be part of this community.
https://singlemomsunitedpodcast.com/
It's not how you arrived at the title, but what you do with it.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United
podcast.
I'm so glad you decided to jointoday and if this is your first
time, welcome.
And if you are a repeatlistener, thank you for your
loyalty.
Hey, this is a shout out to allsingle moms out there that's
(00:23):
trying to do it on your own.
I know how hard it can be,because I, too, am a single mom
just trying to make it through,but the good news is, a lot of
the challenges you're facingI've already faced.
So this podcast is designed toencourage and motivate you.
Single mom, yeah, I know youneed it.
(00:46):
You know how I know, because Ineeded it.
So the good news is thispodcast is designed to encourage
, motivate and, of course, offeryou suggestions regarding
critical thinking when it comesto parenting, because it's
essential, as a parent, that wedisplay more positive behaviors
(01:10):
in front of our children thannegative, right, because we want
them to be productive citizens.
At the end of the day, and atsome point they are going to
leave your home.
They are, and you need toprepare them, mom.
You need to prepare them forlife's challenges.
So great segue to what I wantto talk about today, which is
(01:35):
how to influence and raisestrong kids.
Because why is that important?
Because, again, you're going torelease them in the world and
you're more than just a mom,you're more than just a nurturer
, you're a mentor.
Yeah, they look up to you, mom,that's right.
(01:58):
So this should be brief and tothe point.
But let's see how to encourageand promote raising strong kids.
Well, the first is, let themface challenges, go ahead and
let them be disappointed throughlife.
They are going to bedisappointed and they're going
(02:20):
to know, need to know, how todeal with that disappointment.
And unfortunately, a lot ofpeople deal with disappointment
in different ways Badrelationships they're trying to
fill that void of thatdisappointment and other manners
that are just not healthy andare unsafe.
So, as a child, let them facethat disappointment.
(02:44):
Let them try to participate ina sport and they not get it.
And then that's when you stepin, mom right, to encourage them
and letting them know that it'snot the end of the world.
And I think one of the biggermistakes we make as parents is
that we don't set our childrenup for disappointment, we don't
(03:07):
educate them aboutdisappointment.
To let them know it's not theend of the world.
Something better is for you,right.
The other thing keep themactive and moving every day.
Well, kids are generally activeand out doing something, so all
you want to do is continue toencourage them, teach them to
(03:28):
understand and handle emotionsNot going to dwell a lot on this
, but it's not always going tobe a good day.
They're going to encounter baddays.
Yeah, that's just life and youhave to explain to them.
That's just life and you haveto explain to them.
That's just life.
Don't get discouraged anddemotivated because you're
(03:50):
having a bad day.
You put it where it belongsbehind you and you look forward
and say you know what?
I'm not going to bring that badexperience with me.
I'm going to create a positiveexperience and move forward.
That's how we do that.
Give them responsibilities tobuild independence, and so this
(04:13):
is another segue.
So you have to come back nextweek or for my next episode when
we talk about chores andbuilding that chore chart based
on age.
Hmm, yeah, never too early.
Never too early.
Boost their confidence withpraise and support.
(04:34):
There's nothing wrong with yousaying good job, way to go.
That is awesome.
Keep doing what you're doing,because you should be your
child's first cheerleader as faras encouragement and having
them, letting them know thatthey did an awesome job at
whatever they did Right.
(04:55):
So encouragement goes a longway.
Now listen to them and talkopenly.
If they want to talk to you,please, mom, listen, take that
time out, put the phone down.
Matter of fact, in my priorepisodes for you that keep
coming back again, thank you.
(05:16):
I talk about putting that phonedown for one hour a day and
just spend that time with yourchild.
What's going on?
Tell me how you're feelingtoday, what good happened today,
what bad happened today.
Because why is that important?
Because now you're opening anenvironment of openness so they
(05:38):
can come to you and talk to youabout anything, and that's what
you want.
That really is what you want,mom.
You don't want them going tosomeone else for advice or
sharing their vulnerabilities tosomeone else because that
person or persons may takeadvantage of that.
Show them how to stay strongthrough tough times.
(05:59):
Yeah, mom, and as a single momand I know my biggest struggle
was financially right and theissues I encountered just trying
to pay stuff I'm glad I wasable to show my kids we can
still do some things, we canstill go some places and just be
(06:19):
open and honest and just sayyou know what boo mama just
don't have it today.
She, she just does not have ittoday.
So let's try this Help themsolve problems on their own.
Why is that important?
Because they are going toexperience problems from A to Z
(06:41):
and in between they're justgoing to encounter issues
through life and as theycontinue to grow, and if they're
school-age children, they'regoing to have encounters with
their teachers.
Teachers don't like they feel.
How about that?
That the teacher doesn't likethem or is picking on them, or
there may be schoolmates in theclass that they're not getting
(07:04):
along with.
There just could be multiplethings that are happening.
But here's the good news.
Here is the good news.
Remember, we talked about havingthat open dialogue for them to
come to you and talk to youabout various things, and this
would be one of them.
And you know what, and I wouldeven frame it as what do you
(07:26):
think?
The best solution is littleJohnny, ask them first before
you offer your opinion and then,if he says, well, I want to do
this, this and that and theother, or I don't know, then
it's okay.
And he's like well, why don'tyou know?
Or what concerns do you have?
Now, moms, don't freak out onme, like, oh my God, they're
(07:49):
going to tell me something I'mnot going to have a response to,
and you may not, and that'sokay.
But what's not okay is you nottry to find the answer right?
Because, remember, you'retrying to develop a more open
relationship with your child oryour children.
You have to be receptive tosome of the things that they
(08:11):
tell you.
We are living in the technologyage where we can look up
anything.
Ai is rampant.
All you have to do is ask andsee what it comes up with, right
, and then, if it doesn't giveyou an acceptable solution, then
(08:32):
ask about resources.
Yeah, I didn't get the answer.
I was looking for that.
I can come back to littleJohnny and tell him or respond
to him about his situation.
(08:52):
Encourage kindness and empathytowards others and,
unfortunately, ladies that hasgone by the wayside with this
generation.
When I was growing up, you hadto say please, thank you, I'm
sorry, excuse me, all of thosemannerisms that show you
(09:18):
respected people.
Unfortunately, it just seemslike it's no longer there and I
wonder where the gap is or whywe have a gap now between having
positive mannerisms andkindness, right and empathy.
(09:39):
It's really sad to see ourchildren are just so focused and
I don't know if it's because ofthe social media age and
they're exposed to so much moreand they identify this rudeness
and they think rudeness is okay.
I guess that's what it is.
I sure hope not.
But please, mom, encourage yourchildren to be kind and show
(10:03):
empathy towards others and notmake fun of them.
So if someone doesn't look likethem, it's okay, it's okay.
But what's not okay is you takethat and say, oh, so-and-so
looks like this, or so-and-so'sskin color is this, or their
facial features don't match mine, so they're weird.
(10:26):
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Please, mom, step in, takecharge and remind them.
Everybody's not going to looklike you, but you have to
respect.
You have to respect who theyare and be kind and gentle.
(10:46):
And it starts now, because if wedon't correct the behavior now,
guess what?
They're going to take it alongwith them in adulthood and the
worst thing you want to happenis they approach the wrong
person with the wrong phrases,and we don't want that.
We don't want any type ofviolence and we don't want that.
(11:08):
We don't want any type ofviolence.
But if our kids maintain on thetrack that they're on, my
concern is that someone is goingto come back and say, hey,
don't disrespect me and reallyjust potentially provoke
violence, and I think part ofthat with these school shootings
is because of the bullying andthe lack of respect for others
(11:29):
which results in violence, andwe don't want to do that.
Also, set clear rules, but stayloving right, because if you
don't have rules, then theythink I can do whatever I want
to, when I want to and how Iwant to do it.
And no ma'am and no sir.
This is not Burger King whereyou can have it your way.
(11:51):
There are rules and there'sconsequences when you break
those rules.
It is just that simple.
And finally always have theirback, no matter what.
So even when you identifythey're doing something wrong,
you don't, and especially inpublic.
Your approach has to besensitive, mom, you have to do
(12:16):
that in a sensitive manner, okay, because a lot of times they
don't know that they're in thewrong.
So you have to educate them.
Yelling doesn't always get it.
Yelling only puts fear in them.
But if you talk to them andexplain to them why it's wrong
or what they did or theirbehavior that they're displaying
(12:40):
once you explain that, thenguess what that's going to set
up, to be ingrained in them andrespect you more, because now
you're talking to them and notat them, right, yeah, and you're
still the parent I hear youWell, doesn't that diminish my
parenting skills or the respect?
(13:00):
No, it actually gains morerespect because again you want
to have that relationship withyour child or your children,
where they can come and talk toyou.
This world is something else.
I can't stress it enough.
You know it was hard bringing upmy kids and thankfully we
(13:22):
didn't have social media backthen, those influencers, social
media back then, thoseinfluencers, now moms.
I mean, I really do empathizewith you because you do have to
deal with that level, thatimpact of social media, of them
seeing everything and why theyhave the blocks and the
children's mode and all of thatstuff.
(13:44):
But our kids are smart, they'revery smart, they know how to
get around that stuff.
But our kids are smart, they'revery smart, they know how to
get around that stuff.
And then, certainly, if they'rehanging out with someone where
the parent isn't as strict, hey,I'll just go over little
Rocky's house and, you know, beback after a while and getting
exposed to all kinds of negativethings that they shouldn't be
(14:07):
exposed to Now it's dilutingtheir character.
Their character is gettingdiluted as a result of bringing
in these negative things thatyou don't want them exposed to.
And that's why you got to havethat open dialogue.
That's why you have to createthat safe space for them to come
(14:28):
and talk to you.
And you can do this, take adeep breath and say, okay, let's
talk about it.
I remember when my kids wouldtell me mama has something to
tell you.
My heart just dropped because Iwas scared, because I didn't
know what they was going to tellme.
Right?
But at the end of the day, Iwas glad that they were able to
(14:50):
say I want to talk to you aboutsomething, I have something to
tell you, and I'm glad that theywere able to do that.
Yeah, and I just didappropriately, right.
I had to hold on for a minuteLike, oh my God, what is it?
What is it?
What is it, what is it?
At the end of the day, I'm gladthat I was able to foster a
(15:14):
relationship with my kids wherethey could come to me.
And here's the good news Ithink the level of respect for
each other went up, and that'swhat has to happen as your kids
get older.
Discipline and things change asyour children get older.
How you approach your childrenchanges as they get older.
(15:38):
They're no longer five and sixNow you got a 10 and 11, right,
so they're maturing.
And how do you engage with amore mature child?
You can't practice that samebehavior that you did when they
were five and six.
That's where I'm going withthat.
All right, ladies, I hope youenjoyed today's episode and if
(16:02):
you did, hey tell another singlemom and then follow me.
You know, however, you registerto get updates when I publish
new episodes.
Would love that you can alsovisit singlemomsunitedpodcastcom
.
Leave me some feedback there.
Go to my YouTube channel.
(16:23):
Leave me some feedback there.
I would love to hear from you Ireally would and soon I will be
having guests on my show and ifyou're interested in becoming a
guest, there is a guest form onmy website, so fill that out
and let me know what you want totalk about.
(16:45):
And let's get in the weeds alittle more when it comes to
parenting and encouraging oneanother.
All right, ladies, have afantastic day, a wonderful week
and a marvelous month.
Take care.
Hey, ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United
podcast.
I'm so glad you decided to jointoday and if this is your first
time, welcome.
And if you are a repeatlistener, thank you for your
loyalty.
Hey, this is a shout out to allsingle moms out there that's
(00:23):
trying to do it on your own.
I know how hard it can be,because I, too, am a single mom
just trying to make it through,but the good news is, a lot of
the challenges you're facingI've already faced.
So this podcast is designed toencourage and motivate you.
Single mom, yeah, I know youneed it.
(00:46):
You know how I know, because Ineeded it.
So the good news is thispodcast is designed to encourage
, motivate and, of course, offeryou suggestions regarding
critical thinking when it comesto parenting, because it's
essential, as a parent, that wedisplay more positive behaviors
(01:10):
in front of our children thannegative, right, because we want
them to be productive citizens.
At the end of the day, and atsome point they are going to
leave your home.
They are, and you need toprepare them, mom.
You need to prepare them forlife's challenges.
So great segue to what I wantto talk about today, which is
(01:35):
how to influence and raisestrong kids.
Because why is that important?
Because, again, you're going torelease them in the world and
you're more than just a mom,you're more than just a nurturer
, you're a mentor.
Yeah, they look up to you, mom,that's right.
(01:58):
So this should be brief and tothe point.
But let's see how to encourageand promote raising strong kids.
Well, the first is, let themface challenges, go ahead and
let them be disappointed throughlife.
They are going to bedisappointed and they're going
(02:20):
to know, need to know, how todeal with that disappointment.
And unfortunately, a lot ofpeople deal with disappointment
in different ways Badrelationships they're trying to
fill that void of thatdisappointment and other manners
that are just not healthy andare unsafe.
So, as a child, let them facethat disappointment.
(02:44):
Let them try to participate ina sport and they not get it.
And then that's when you stepin, mom right, to encourage them
and letting them know that it'snot the end of the world.
And I think one of the biggermistakes we make as parents is
that we don't set our childrenup for disappointment, we don't
(03:07):
educate them aboutdisappointment.
To let them know it's not theend of the world.
Something better is for you,right.
The other thing keep themactive and moving every day.
Well, kids are generally activeand out doing something, so all
you want to do is continue toencourage them, teach them to
(03:28):
understand and handle emotionsNot going to dwell a lot on this
, but it's not always going tobe a good day.
They're going to encounter baddays.
Yeah, that's just life and youhave to explain to them.
That's just life and you haveto explain to them.
That's just life.
Don't get discouraged anddemotivated because you're
(03:50):
having a bad day.
You put it where it belongsbehind you and you look forward
and say you know what?
I'm not going to bring that badexperience with me.
I'm going to create a positiveexperience and move forward.
That's how we do that.
Give them responsibilities tobuild independence, and so this
(04:13):
is another segue.
So you have to come back nextweek or for my next episode when
we talk about chores andbuilding that chore chart based
on age.
Hmm, yeah, never too early.
Never too early.
Boost their confidence withpraise and support.
(04:34):
There's nothing wrong with yousaying good job, way to go.
That is awesome.
Keep doing what you're doing,because you should be your
child's first cheerleader as faras encouragement and having
them, letting them know thatthey did an awesome job at
whatever they did Right.
(04:55):
So encouragement goes a longway.
Now listen to them and talkopenly.
If they want to talk to you,please, mom, listen, take that
time out, put the phone down.
Matter of fact, in my priorepisodes for you that keep
coming back again, thank you.
(05:16):
I talk about putting that phonedown for one hour a day and
just spend that time with yourchild.
What's going on?
Tell me how you're feelingtoday, what good happened today,
what bad happened today.
Because why is that important?
Because now you're opening anenvironment of openness so they
(05:38):
can come to you and talk to youabout anything, and that's what
you want.
That really is what you want,mom.
You don't want them going tosomeone else for advice or
sharing their vulnerabilities tosomeone else because that
person or persons may takeadvantage of that.
Show them how to stay strongthrough tough times.
(05:59):
Yeah, mom, and as a single momand I know my biggest struggle
was financially right and theissues I encountered just trying
to pay stuff I'm glad I wasable to show my kids we can
still do some things, we canstill go some places and just be
(06:19):
open and honest and just sayyou know what boo mama just
don't have it today.
She, she just does not have ittoday.
So let's try this Help themsolve problems on their own.
Why is that important?
Because they are going toexperience problems from A to Z
(06:41):
and in between they're justgoing to encounter issues
through life and as theycontinue to grow, and if they're
school-age children, they'regoing to have encounters with
their teachers.
Teachers don't like they feel.
How about that?
That the teacher doesn't likethem or is picking on them, or
there may be schoolmates in theclass that they're not getting
(07:04):
along with.
There just could be multiplethings that are happening.
But here's the good news.
Here is the good news.
Remember, we talked about havingthat open dialogue for them to
come to you and talk to youabout various things, and this
would be one of them.
And you know what, and I wouldeven frame it as what do you
(07:26):
think?
The best solution is littleJohnny, ask them first before
you offer your opinion and then,if he says, well, I want to do
this, this and that and theother, or I don't know, then
it's okay.
And he's like well, why don'tyou know?
Or what concerns do you have?
Now, moms, don't freak out onme, like, oh my God, they're
(07:49):
going to tell me something I'mnot going to have a response to,
and you may not, and that'sokay.
But what's not okay is you nottry to find the answer right?
Because, remember, you'retrying to develop a more open
relationship with your child oryour children.
You have to be receptive tosome of the things that they
(08:11):
tell you.
We are living in the technologyage where we can look up
anything.
Ai is rampant.
All you have to do is ask andsee what it comes up with, right
, and then, if it doesn't giveyou an acceptable solution, then
(08:32):
ask about resources.
Yeah, I didn't get the answer.
I was looking for that.
I can come back to littleJohnny and tell him or respond
to him about his situation.
(08:52):
Encourage kindness and empathytowards others and,
unfortunately, ladies that hasgone by the wayside with this
generation.
When I was growing up, you hadto say please, thank you, I'm
sorry, excuse me, all of thosemannerisms that show you
(09:18):
respected people.
Unfortunately, it just seemslike it's no longer there and I
wonder where the gap is or whywe have a gap now between having
positive mannerisms andkindness, right and empathy.
(09:39):
It's really sad to see ourchildren are just so focused and
I don't know if it's because ofthe social media age and
they're exposed to so much moreand they identify this rudeness
and they think rudeness is okay.
I guess that's what it is.
I sure hope not.
But please, mom, encourage yourchildren to be kind and show
(10:03):
empathy towards others and notmake fun of them.
So if someone doesn't look likethem, it's okay, it's okay.
But what's not okay is you takethat and say, oh, so-and-so
looks like this, or so-and-so'sskin color is this, or their
facial features don't match mine, so they're weird.
(10:26):
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Please, mom, step in, takecharge and remind them.
Everybody's not going to looklike you, but you have to
respect.
You have to respect who theyare and be kind and gentle.
(10:46):
And it starts now, because if wedon't correct the behavior now,
guess what?
They're going to take it alongwith them in adulthood and the
worst thing you want to happenis they approach the wrong
person with the wrong phrases,and we don't want that.
We don't want any type ofviolence and we don't want that.
(11:08):
We don't want any type ofviolence.
But if our kids maintain on thetrack that they're on, my
concern is that someone is goingto come back and say, hey,
don't disrespect me and reallyjust potentially provoke
violence, and I think part ofthat with these school shootings
is because of the bullying andthe lack of respect for others
(11:29):
which results in violence, andwe don't want to do that.
Also, set clear rules, but stayloving right, because if you
don't have rules, then theythink I can do whatever I want
to, when I want to and how Iwant to do it.
And no ma'am and no sir.
This is not Burger King whereyou can have it your way.
(11:51):
There are rules and there'sconsequences when you break
those rules.
It is just that simple.
And finally always have theirback, no matter what.
So even when you identifythey're doing something wrong,
you don't, and especially inpublic.
Your approach has to besensitive, mom, you have to do
(12:16):
that in a sensitive manner, okay, because a lot of times they
don't know that they're in thewrong.
So you have to educate them.
Yelling doesn't always get it.
Yelling only puts fear in them.
But if you talk to them andexplain to them why it's wrong
or what they did or theirbehavior that they're displaying
(12:40):
once you explain that, thenguess what that's going to set
up, to be ingrained in them andrespect you more, because now
you're talking to them and notat them, right, yeah, and you're
still the parent I hear youWell, doesn't that diminish my
parenting skills or the respect?
(13:00):
No, it actually gains morerespect because again you want
to have that relationship withyour child or your children,
where they can come and talk toyou.
This world is something else.
I can't stress it enough.
You know it was hard bringing upmy kids and thankfully we
(13:22):
didn't have social media backthen, those influencers, social
media back then, thoseinfluencers, now moms.
I mean, I really do empathizewith you because you do have to
deal with that level, thatimpact of social media, of them
seeing everything and why theyhave the blocks and the
children's mode and all of thatstuff.
(13:44):
But our kids are smart, they'revery smart, they know how to
get around that stuff.
But our kids are smart, they'revery smart, they know how to
get around that stuff.
And then, certainly, if they'rehanging out with someone where
the parent isn't as strict, hey,I'll just go over little
Rocky's house and, you know, beback after a while and getting
exposed to all kinds of negativethings that they shouldn't be
(14:07):
exposed to Now it's dilutingtheir character.
Their character is gettingdiluted as a result of bringing
in these negative things thatyou don't want them exposed to.
And that's why you got to havethat open dialogue.
That's why you have to createthat safe space for them to come
(14:28):
and talk to you.
And you can do this, take adeep breath and say, okay, let's
talk about it.
I remember when my kids wouldtell me mama has something to
tell you.
My heart just dropped because Iwas scared, because I didn't
know what they was going to tellme.
Right?
But at the end of the day, Iwas glad that they were able to
(14:50):
say I want to talk to you aboutsomething, I have something to
tell you, and I'm glad that theywere able to do that.
Yeah, and I just didappropriately, right.
I had to hold on for a minuteLike, oh my God, what is it?
What is it?
What is it, what is it?
At the end of the day, I'm gladthat I was able to foster a
(15:14):
relationship with my kids wherethey could come to me.
And here's the good news Ithink the level of respect for
each other went up, and that'swhat has to happen as your kids
get older.
Discipline and things change asyour children get older.
How you approach your childrenchanges as they get older.
(15:38):
They're no longer five and sixNow you got a 10 and 11, right,
so they're maturing.
And how do you engage with amore mature child?
You can't practice that samebehavior that you did when they
were five and six.
That's where I'm going withthat.
All right, ladies, I hope youenjoyed today's episode and if
(16:02):
you did, hey tell another singlemom and then follow me.
You know, however, you registerto get updates when I publish
new episodes.
Would love that you can alsovisit singlemomsunitedpodcastcom
.
Leave me some feedback there.
Go to my YouTube channel.
(16:23):
Leave me some feedback there.
I would love to hear from you Ireally would and soon I will be
having guests on my show and ifyou're interested in becoming a
guest, there is a guest form onmy website, so fill that out
and let me know what you want totalk about.
(16:45):
And let's get in the weeds alittle more when it comes to
parenting and encouraging oneanother.
All right, ladies, have afantastic day, a wonderful week
and a marvelous month.
Take care.
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Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!