March 2, 2025 • 23 mins
This episode dives into the importance of assigning age-appropriate chores to children, emphasizing that responsibilities at home teach valuable life skills. I discuss how chores not only ease the burden on parents but also foster a sense of accountability and independence in kids.
• Importance of teaching chores early
• Age-specific responsibilities explained
• Benefits of helping children take on tasks
• Critical thinking and adapting strategies for your family
• Preparing kids for independence through chores
• Reflecting on parenting and setting expectations
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United
podcast.
If this is your first timejoining, welcome If you are a
repeat listener.
Thank you for your loyalty.
Hey, I'm not going to spend alot of time with schematics
today.
We're going to jump right intoour topic.
It's about the chore chart foryour children.
(00:23):
We have to be teaching ourchildren and setting them up for
success as they leave our homes, and part of that is giving
them responsibilities,congratulating them on when they
do good or when they do bad, orcorrect them when they do bad.
We're going to talk about chorestoday and age-specific chores
(00:46):
our kids need to adhere to oryou need to introduce.
Keep in mind, this is not aone-size-fits-all.
It's a one-size-fits-most soyou do what's appropriate for
you and your household.
And this podcast is also aboutcritical thinking.
As I talk about differentthings, you may say, yeah, that
(01:08):
may work in my house.
Or you may say, no, it doesn't,but I'll try this.
Or it does, and I'm gonna addthis right, so it's not a one
size fits all, but it's designedto make you think.
And at the end of this podcast,mom, you should want and feel
comfortable in giving your childchores to do.
(01:32):
There are benefits.
Number one you're teaching themhow to be responsible.
And then, number two, it's helpfor you, right?
Especially if you have your dayjob and you're going out and
doing extras that you need to do, it's always great to have that
backup plan or that support youneed to maintain your house.
(01:56):
With my kids, I gave themresponsibilities and they
rotated them depending on whatit was right.
One can't say that oh yeah, Ialways had to do this, I always
had to do that.
No, they rotated each week andI taught them how to do their
own laundry.
I taught them how to clean thekitchen.
I taught them how to clean thebathroom.
(02:18):
Why is that important?
With me being the only parentin the household, I needed that
support because I worked everyday.
As a result of that, that tooksome of the pressure off of me,
and so when they would do theirchores and they do them
correctly, then I would treatthem out to a pizza or we'll go
(02:40):
to a fun center or somethinglike that, because now we can,
because now mom isn't having todo all the chores in the
household.
So now I'm able to pay forwardand it is a form of a payment
right, and it's up to youwhether you wanna give your
child a little something or sometype of reward.
I would recommend it.
(03:01):
Right, it doesn't have to beevery week, maybe once a month.
You wanna do something for himor her or them?
I did.
I gave my kids or took them out, did various activities with
them every now and then, because, of course, I wasn't rich so I
had to watch the pennies.
But I would recommend you dothat as well.
(03:23):
All right, so what are wetalking about today?
Again, we're talking aboutchores by age.
Again, not a one size fits all.
You take this and say this isyes, no, maybe, or and or, but,
but definitely something toconsider.
If your child is between the ageof two and three, you want to
(03:46):
encourage them maybe to throwaway trash, wipe up spills, dust
with a duster you may actuallylike that.
Wipe the baseboards I mean,they're certainly short enough
to do that.
Place books on the shelf, ifyou have books.
Put toys in bins and I know youhave those, or they have toys
everywhere.
Definitely teach them how toput those up.
(04:08):
Collect dirty clothes and putthem in a hamper.
Help clear the table.
Oh, and water plants, if youhave plants in your home.
Definitely give them that taskto do and rinse fruits and
vegetables, and that's justsimply just washing them off
underwater.
And that's at the age of twoand three.
(04:29):
Again, you may want to addsomething to this and that's
absolutely awesome, becausethat's what this podcast is all
about.
It's about critical thinking,not just a one size fits all.
All right.
So ages four and five help drythe dishes.
In my perspective, most folkshave dishwashers.
(04:52):
Now I would say, unload thedishwasher or load the
dishwasher, put the plates in,and certainly you can help them
with that.
They can also help with laundry.
You know, help load the washerand dryer if them with that.
They can also help with laundry.
You know, help load the washerand dryer if you have that.
And even if you don't have awasher and dryer in your home.
Now, when I first started, I hadto take my clothes to the
(05:14):
laundromat.
My kids went with me, so youcan still teach them this
fundamental as it relates tolaundry at the laundromat.
Mom, okay, so don't get ittwisted just because, oh, I
don't have a washer and dryer inthe house.
You don't have to.
If you are going to thelaundromat, no issue there.
(05:35):
Just make sure your child, oryour children, are helping out
in that way.
Also, once you get there,laundry completed, help them.
Teach them how to put theirclothes away yeah, that's huge.
Teach your child how to maketheir bed yeah, there's nothing
wrong with that making a bed.
Each day, mop small areas in thekitchen because, again, a lot
(05:58):
of activity happens there andeven in the bathrooms, getting
in and out of the tub, water maysplash here, there and
everywhere in the bathroomsgetting in and out of the tub,
water may splash here, there andeverywhere, or other accidents
I'll call it an accident mayhappen.
That floor may need to bemopped or cleaned up, right.
So even though they may put atowel down and dry up, whatever
(06:20):
the situation was, you stillneed to come back and sanitize
that, and generally you do thatby mopping.
Okay, so they can do that.
And especially, most bathroomsare small.
So I would even recommend youstart there and then maybe go to
the kitchen, because kitchensare a little larger, have a
(06:40):
little larger area.
So start with the bathroom.
If you have a pet, let themfeed the pet little cat, dog,
puppy, whatever, six and seven.
Empty the dishwasher.
Okay, we kind of talked aboutthat these are just
recommendations by age, but it'swhat you feel comfortable with
your child and what they'reprepared for Not every child.
(07:04):
Just because age is listed heredoesn't mean that you really
abide by that.
You go based on how mature yourchild is right or what you
think they can handle.
We're just identifying this byage.
Right now, you may say my childneeds to have done this at four
(07:25):
and five, whereas some thingsyou're like yeah, little Johnny
ain't that mature yet, so I'mgoing to wait till he's eight
before I have him to start doingthis or that.
The point is, as long as youstart At six and seven, you can
also have them start using ahandheld vacuum sweeping the
floors.
(07:49):
Have them start using a handheldvacuum sweeping the floors,
cleaning windows, wiping downbathroom sinks, sorting laundry,
folding bath towels, preparesmall snacks and help put away
groceries yeah, all of thosethings they can start doing, so
you can start preparing them forlife.
This is what it's all about.
Mom, we're more than just moms.
(08:10):
We're mentors, we're educators.
We have to be there for ourchildren and make sure, as they
round out life and go out ontheir own, that they have these
capabilities and this knowledgeon how to function in life and
not wait for someone else to doit for them.
(08:32):
Eight and nine-year-olds loadthe dishwasher.
If your little baby can do itat four and five, then let them.
You don't have to wait tillthey turn eight and nine Again.
Wipe off the table, foldlaundry, wipe counters, dust
shelves, make up their bed,putting sheets on their bed.
(08:52):
Help plan meals that's a hugeone.
Now they feel like they aremore involved, as long as it
ain't a bunch of junk food,right.
But help them.
Like what do you think weshould eat this week?
Right, involve them.
I think that's the word choiceI want to look for there.
If you have a house and youhave leaves outside, then
(09:12):
definitely encourage them torake leaves, and that's it for
eight nine year olds, but youcan add additional items that
you think that are appropriateto help your child mature,
because this is not only are weteaching, but we're allowing
them to become mature anddevelop independence as it
(09:33):
relates to maintaining theirlife and lifestyle, and not
waiting on someone to do it forthem.
All right, 10 and 11 year oldshere we go with this laundry
again, washing their clothes.
Important, again, I had my kidswashing their own laundry.
Later on in life and I think itwas around 10 or 11 that I had
(09:56):
them doing their own laundryPreparing simple meals, taking
out the garbage, washing mirrors, vacuuming the car, hand
washing dishes Ain't nothingwrong with that either Mopping
floors, vacuuming, puttinggroceries away and fixing their
own lunch Because now they'regoing into getting prepared for
(10:19):
the teen years.
I hear you, these are thingsthat we should get our kids in
position for so that they can besuccessful 12 and up.
So at this point, if you haveyounger kids, then 12 and up,
they should be responsibleenough to watch their siblings.
(10:41):
Not long-term mom, okay, butmaybe an hour or two while you
need to run out to the grocerystore or run some errands, yeah,
let them watch the kids whileyou're out, or the other child
while you're out Supervisingchores, cleaning the bathroom
I'm not sure how many peopleiron clothes anymore, but iron
(11:02):
Prepare full meals.
Now, this is huge, mom, whenit's just you trying to get it
done.
You need that additionalsupport, and your older child
can do that for you.
And then there's just manyother household responsibilities
that they can link to and beresponsible for, and so you type
(11:24):
or write these out.
You can get your littlewhiteboard at the dollar store
or Dollar Tree, write it out,put it on the refrigerator or
somewhere they can see it.
I'm trying to think how I didit with my kids.
I think it was on arefrigerator, I had a schedule
for them and it just rotatedthat way.
(11:45):
But you can do that too, mom,this doesn't have to be
complicated.
This is your child, this isyour children.
These are the ones you'repreparing for life.
In prior episodes I talked aboutwhat's a good mom, what's a bad
mom, or rather, was a goodparent was a bad parent?
(12:06):
A good parent teaches period.
A good parent teaches, badparent does not.
Because you have to consider,mom, you're not always going to
be here.
Hopefully you outlive yourchildren, but you're able to see
their success of what youtaught them a long life's
(12:26):
journey that they have to beresponsible Because, remember,
they're going to have to go outand get a job too, and when they
go out and get a job, there areexpectations to do that job
right.
So if we're not teaching themresponsibility now, what's it
going to be like when they getout in the real world and
(12:47):
they're being held accountablefor doing their job or not doing
their job.
You know, along my career Ialways had performance
evaluations of how well I did myjob or do my job or do my job.
(13:10):
And my behavior that has beeninstilled with me along life's
journey is because my mom had medoing chores.
She had a garden and she had meout there working in her garden
, picking the vegetables andbringing them in and washing
them.
She had me sweeping, she had mevacuuming, she had me taking
the garbage out.
She had me doing numerousthings around the house.
(13:31):
And I'm grateful for that,because now, as I got into
working, you know all of thiswasn't foreign to me.
If somebody told me to dosomething, I'm familiar with
that because my mom instilledthat in me along my journey of
childhood.
It was never anything of itbeing given to me and it was
(13:57):
funny or it is funny, or ratherit was funny back then my mom
would tell me to do somethingand if I didn't get it quite
right, she would say stop beingso half-handed.
Now you know you needed to dothis or you needed to do that
and da-da-da-da-da.
And you know, at first I waslike, oh okay, and of course
(14:21):
when I was growing up youcouldn't even think any negative
thoughts, because she heard youI'm just talking about when I
was growing up.
She would say stop beinghalf-handed, and that was her
term for not doing it correctlyor getting it done right.
And I so appreciate that.
(14:41):
I do appreciate that becausenow I have a better
understanding of what she wastrying to teach me.
Right, because anything you dohalf-hearted is a mess, is
incomplete, and what do youaccomplish by half doing stuff
(15:05):
right?
So it may look good on theoutside, but there's still other
things behind the scenes thatdidn't get taken care of because
you chose not to give it yourall.
And that's what we have toinstill in our kids Don't go and
just do a piece of it, do it inits entirety.
When you get in the workforce,they are not going to accept you
(15:29):
just doing it halfway or itbeing incomplete.
They are paying you to do a joband do the job and be complete
with it, period.
And that's our time to educateour children so that when they
get in the workforce, all ofthis is informed to them.
(15:49):
That's why kids don't stay onjobs today or to appreciate that
somebody's gonna be telling youwhat to do and then they get
all up in the uproar becauseso-and-so, they can't take
feedback from their boss.
Why can't they?
Because, yeah, mom is probablya mom or a parent that chose not
(16:12):
to do that with their child orbe firm with their child and
said you know what?
You're not going to do it, I'llgo ahead and do it for you.
Well, that's releasing them.
That's not good behavior thatwe're trying to instill in our
children of saying, okay, yeah,you go ahead and go outside or
go back to playing your videogames and I'll finish it up,
(16:33):
nope, nope, nope, nope.
That's not good mom.
That's not setting goodexpectations with your kids on
what is required to survive inthis world.
Think about that.
We're talking about survivaland you can't do it all for them
.
All right, ladies, y'all got meall worked up over here, but
(16:57):
I'm worked up for a good reasonand that's because we are in
this together.
We should unite together asparents to make sure our kids
are successful and given thetools on how to be successful.
And it's not about money.
(17:17):
Everybody thinks success andmoney go together.
No, success and independencegoes together.
I'm just saying becauseotherwise, if you have to rely
on somebody to get what you need, I'm sorry that it goes against
the word of success.
Success is linked toindependence and knowledge.
(17:39):
That's what it means to besuccessful, not money, because
when you have independence andknowledge, the money will come.
Yeah, but when you don't havethat independence and you have
to rely on someone else oryou're failing to go out and get
that knowledge, then yoursuccess level has just dwindled
(18:00):
down significantly.
So, mom, teach your child aboutindependence.
Teach your child to always belearning, and not just them, but
you too.
Mom, every week, you shouldwrite down what you learned this
week, whether it's how to cooka new dish, whether you learned
how to fix something in yourhome, whether you learned how to
(18:24):
and, if you like, wearingmakeup.
Maybe you learned how to applymakeup in a different manner
that now really makes you looksharp and beautiful.
Right, and that's okay.
It doesn't have to be somethinghuge that you learn.
Just learn something and thenpay it forward to your child.
Yeah, because once they seethat you're learning, they,
(18:47):
they're like hmm, that seemsinteresting.
I see mom over there doing thisand that and, especially if
it's something positive, I wantto do that too.
Yeah, always be learning.
And, as I mentioned in the past,mom, put the phone down for one
hour or put it on mute orairplane mode One hour.
(19:09):
Spend some time with your childor your children.
What's going on?
Further, build thatrelationship with them.
What you will find is that onceyou do that and I know a lot of
young ladies talk about that,they're lonely and so forth, and
they want to be back in arelationship about that, they're
(19:30):
lonely and so forth, and theywant to be back in a
relationship but once you startdeveloping a different type of
relationship with your child andgetting to know them yeah, we
don't know our children.
We think we do because we hadthem, but we don't know them,
especially as they get older andthey start getting exposed to
more and more things in life.
Start getting exposed to moreand more things in life.
(19:53):
Yeah, you're going to have totake that time and get to know
them and understand who they are.
Just because they got yourblood running through their
veins doesn't mean that it's100% representation of who they
are and what they represent.
And that's why, when they cometo us with different things and
we're looking like, wait, Iwould never do that.
What are you talking about?
That's because they'vedeveloped their own identity,
(20:16):
their own personality, and wehave to take that time to learn
that person, who they are, whatthey represent.
All right, ladies, I am reallydone this time.
I hope you have a great day, awonderful week and a marvelous
(20:36):
month.
You take care.
Hey, ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United
podcast.
If this is your first timejoining, welcome If you are a
repeat listener.
Thank you for your loyalty.
Hey, I'm not going to spend alot of time with schematics
today.
We're going to jump right intoour topic.
It's about the chore chart foryour children.
(00:23):
We have to be teaching ourchildren and setting them up for
success as they leave our homes, and part of that is giving
them responsibilities,congratulating them on when they
do good or when they do bad, orcorrect them when they do bad.
We're going to talk about chorestoday and age-specific chores
(00:46):
our kids need to adhere to oryou need to introduce.
Keep in mind, this is not aone-size-fits-all.
It's a one-size-fits-most soyou do what's appropriate for
you and your household.
And this podcast is also aboutcritical thinking.
As I talk about differentthings, you may say, yeah, that
(01:08):
may work in my house.
Or you may say, no, it doesn't,but I'll try this.
Or it does, and I'm gonna addthis right, so it's not a one
size fits all, but it's designedto make you think.
And at the end of this podcast,mom, you should want and feel
comfortable in giving your childchores to do.
(01:32):
There are benefits.
Number one you're teaching themhow to be responsible.
And then, number two, it's helpfor you, right?
Especially if you have your dayjob and you're going out and
doing extras that you need to do, it's always great to have that
backup plan or that support youneed to maintain your house.
(01:56):
With my kids, I gave themresponsibilities and they
rotated them depending on whatit was right.
One can't say that oh yeah, Ialways had to do this, I always
had to do that.
No, they rotated each week andI taught them how to do their
own laundry.
I taught them how to clean thekitchen.
I taught them how to clean thebathroom.
(02:18):
Why is that important?
With me being the only parentin the household, I needed that
support because I worked everyday.
As a result of that, that tooksome of the pressure off of me,
and so when they would do theirchores and they do them
correctly, then I would treatthem out to a pizza or we'll go
(02:40):
to a fun center or somethinglike that, because now we can,
because now mom isn't having todo all the chores in the
household.
So now I'm able to pay forwardand it is a form of a payment
right, and it's up to youwhether you wanna give your
child a little something or sometype of reward.
I would recommend it.
(03:01):
Right, it doesn't have to beevery week, maybe once a month.
You wanna do something for himor her or them?
I did.
I gave my kids or took them out, did various activities with
them every now and then, because, of course, I wasn't rich so I
had to watch the pennies.
But I would recommend you dothat as well.
(03:23):
All right, so what are wetalking about today?
Again, we're talking aboutchores by age.
Again, not a one size fits all.
You take this and say this isyes, no, maybe, or and or, but,
but definitely something toconsider.
If your child is between the ageof two and three, you want to
(03:46):
encourage them maybe to throwaway trash, wipe up spills, dust
with a duster you may actuallylike that.
Wipe the baseboards I mean,they're certainly short enough
to do that.
Place books on the shelf, ifyou have books.
Put toys in bins and I know youhave those, or they have toys
everywhere.
Definitely teach them how toput those up.
(04:08):
Collect dirty clothes and putthem in a hamper.
Help clear the table.
Oh, and water plants, if youhave plants in your home.
Definitely give them that taskto do and rinse fruits and
vegetables, and that's justsimply just washing them off
underwater.
And that's at the age of twoand three.
(04:29):
Again, you may want to addsomething to this and that's
absolutely awesome, becausethat's what this podcast is all
about.
It's about critical thinking,not just a one size fits all.
All right.
So ages four and five help drythe dishes.
In my perspective, most folkshave dishwashers.
(04:52):
Now I would say, unload thedishwasher or load the
dishwasher, put the plates in,and certainly you can help them
with that.
They can also help with laundry.
You know, help load the washerand dryer if them with that.
They can also help with laundry.
You know, help load the washerand dryer if you have that.
And even if you don't have awasher and dryer in your home.
Now, when I first started, I hadto take my clothes to the
(05:14):
laundromat.
My kids went with me, so youcan still teach them this
fundamental as it relates tolaundry at the laundromat.
Mom, okay, so don't get ittwisted just because, oh, I
don't have a washer and dryer inthe house.
You don't have to.
If you are going to thelaundromat, no issue there.
(05:35):
Just make sure your child, oryour children, are helping out
in that way.
Also, once you get there,laundry completed, help them.
Teach them how to put theirclothes away yeah, that's huge.
Teach your child how to maketheir bed yeah, there's nothing
wrong with that making a bed.
Each day, mop small areas in thekitchen because, again, a lot
(05:58):
of activity happens there andeven in the bathrooms, getting
in and out of the tub, water maysplash here, there and
everywhere in the bathroomsgetting in and out of the tub,
water may splash here, there andeverywhere, or other accidents
I'll call it an accident mayhappen.
That floor may need to bemopped or cleaned up, right.
So even though they may put atowel down and dry up, whatever
(06:20):
the situation was, you stillneed to come back and sanitize
that, and generally you do thatby mopping.
Okay, so they can do that.
And especially, most bathroomsare small.
So I would even recommend youstart there and then maybe go to
the kitchen, because kitchensare a little larger, have a
(06:40):
little larger area.
So start with the bathroom.
If you have a pet, let themfeed the pet little cat, dog,
puppy, whatever, six and seven.
Empty the dishwasher.
Okay, we kind of talked aboutthat these are just
recommendations by age, but it'swhat you feel comfortable with
your child and what they'reprepared for Not every child.
(07:04):
Just because age is listed heredoesn't mean that you really
abide by that.
You go based on how mature yourchild is right or what you
think they can handle.
We're just identifying this byage.
Right now, you may say my childneeds to have done this at four
(07:25):
and five, whereas some thingsyou're like yeah, little Johnny
ain't that mature yet, so I'mgoing to wait till he's eight
before I have him to start doingthis or that.
The point is, as long as youstart At six and seven, you can
also have them start using ahandheld vacuum sweeping the
floors.
(07:49):
Have them start using a handheldvacuum sweeping the floors,
cleaning windows, wiping downbathroom sinks, sorting laundry,
folding bath towels, preparesmall snacks and help put away
groceries yeah, all of thosethings they can start doing, so
you can start preparing them forlife.
This is what it's all about.
Mom, we're more than just moms.
(08:10):
We're mentors, we're educators.
We have to be there for ourchildren and make sure, as they
round out life and go out ontheir own, that they have these
capabilities and this knowledgeon how to function in life and
not wait for someone else to doit for them.
(08:32):
Eight and nine-year-olds loadthe dishwasher.
If your little baby can do itat four and five, then let them.
You don't have to wait tillthey turn eight and nine Again.
Wipe off the table, foldlaundry, wipe counters, dust
shelves, make up their bed,putting sheets on their bed.
(08:52):
Help plan meals that's a hugeone.
Now they feel like they aremore involved, as long as it
ain't a bunch of junk food,right.
But help them.
Like what do you think weshould eat this week?
Right, involve them.
I think that's the word choiceI want to look for there.
If you have a house and youhave leaves outside, then
(09:12):
definitely encourage them torake leaves, and that's it for
eight nine year olds, but youcan add additional items that
you think that are appropriateto help your child mature,
because this is not only are weteaching, but we're allowing
them to become mature anddevelop independence as it
(09:33):
relates to maintaining theirlife and lifestyle, and not
waiting on someone to do it forthem.
All right, 10 and 11 year oldshere we go with this laundry
again, washing their clothes.
Important, again, I had my kidswashing their own laundry.
Later on in life and I think itwas around 10 or 11 that I had
(09:56):
them doing their own laundryPreparing simple meals, taking
out the garbage, washing mirrors, vacuuming the car, hand
washing dishes Ain't nothingwrong with that either Mopping
floors, vacuuming, puttinggroceries away and fixing their
own lunch Because now they'regoing into getting prepared for
(10:19):
the teen years.
I hear you, these are thingsthat we should get our kids in
position for so that they can besuccessful 12 and up.
So at this point, if you haveyounger kids, then 12 and up,
they should be responsibleenough to watch their siblings.
(10:41):
Not long-term mom, okay, butmaybe an hour or two while you
need to run out to the grocerystore or run some errands, yeah,
let them watch the kids whileyou're out, or the other child
while you're out Supervisingchores, cleaning the bathroom
I'm not sure how many peopleiron clothes anymore, but iron
(11:02):
Prepare full meals.
Now, this is huge, mom, whenit's just you trying to get it
done.
You need that additionalsupport, and your older child
can do that for you.
And then there's just manyother household responsibilities
that they can link to and beresponsible for, and so you type
(11:24):
or write these out.
You can get your littlewhiteboard at the dollar store
or Dollar Tree, write it out,put it on the refrigerator or
somewhere they can see it.
I'm trying to think how I didit with my kids.
I think it was on arefrigerator, I had a schedule
for them and it just rotatedthat way.
(11:45):
But you can do that too, mom,this doesn't have to be
complicated.
This is your child, this isyour children.
These are the ones you'repreparing for life.
In prior episodes I talked aboutwhat's a good mom, what's a bad
mom, or rather, was a goodparent was a bad parent?
(12:06):
A good parent teaches period.
A good parent teaches, badparent does not.
Because you have to consider,mom, you're not always going to
be here.
Hopefully you outlive yourchildren, but you're able to see
their success of what youtaught them a long life's
(12:26):
journey that they have to beresponsible Because, remember,
they're going to have to go outand get a job too, and when they
go out and get a job, there areexpectations to do that job
right.
So if we're not teaching themresponsibility now, what's it
going to be like when they getout in the real world and
(12:47):
they're being held accountablefor doing their job or not doing
their job.
You know, along my career Ialways had performance
evaluations of how well I did myjob or do my job or do my job.
(13:10):
And my behavior that has beeninstilled with me along life's
journey is because my mom had medoing chores.
She had a garden and she had meout there working in her garden
, picking the vegetables andbringing them in and washing
them.
She had me sweeping, she had mevacuuming, she had me taking
the garbage out.
She had me doing numerousthings around the house.
(13:31):
And I'm grateful for that,because now, as I got into
working, you know all of thiswasn't foreign to me.
If somebody told me to dosomething, I'm familiar with
that because my mom instilledthat in me along my journey of
childhood.
It was never anything of itbeing given to me and it was
(13:57):
funny or it is funny, or ratherit was funny back then my mom
would tell me to do somethingand if I didn't get it quite
right, she would say stop beingso half-handed.
Now you know you needed to dothis or you needed to do that
and da-da-da-da-da.
And you know, at first I waslike, oh okay, and of course
(14:21):
when I was growing up youcouldn't even think any negative
thoughts, because she heard youI'm just talking about when I
was growing up.
She would say stop beinghalf-handed, and that was her
term for not doing it correctlyor getting it done right.
And I so appreciate that.
(14:41):
I do appreciate that becausenow I have a better
understanding of what she wastrying to teach me.
Right, because anything you dohalf-hearted is a mess, is
incomplete, and what do youaccomplish by half doing stuff
(15:05):
right?
So it may look good on theoutside, but there's still other
things behind the scenes thatdidn't get taken care of because
you chose not to give it yourall.
And that's what we have toinstill in our kids Don't go and
just do a piece of it, do it inits entirety.
When you get in the workforce,they are not going to accept you
(15:29):
just doing it halfway or itbeing incomplete.
They are paying you to do a joband do the job and be complete
with it, period.
And that's our time to educateour children so that when they
get in the workforce, all ofthis is informed to them.
(15:49):
That's why kids don't stay onjobs today or to appreciate that
somebody's gonna be telling youwhat to do and then they get
all up in the uproar becauseso-and-so, they can't take
feedback from their boss.
Why can't they?
Because, yeah, mom is probablya mom or a parent that chose not
(16:12):
to do that with their child orbe firm with their child and
said you know what?
You're not going to do it, I'llgo ahead and do it for you.
Well, that's releasing them.
That's not good behavior thatwe're trying to instill in our
children of saying, okay, yeah,you go ahead and go outside or
go back to playing your videogames and I'll finish it up,
(16:33):
nope, nope, nope, nope.
That's not good mom.
That's not setting goodexpectations with your kids on
what is required to survive inthis world.
Think about that.
We're talking about survivaland you can't do it all for them
.
All right, ladies, y'all got meall worked up over here, but
(16:57):
I'm worked up for a good reasonand that's because we are in
this together.
We should unite together asparents to make sure our kids
are successful and given thetools on how to be successful.
And it's not about money.
(17:17):
Everybody thinks success andmoney go together.
No, success and independencegoes together.
I'm just saying becauseotherwise, if you have to rely
on somebody to get what you need, I'm sorry that it goes against
the word of success.
Success is linked toindependence and knowledge.
(17:39):
That's what it means to besuccessful, not money, because
when you have independence andknowledge, the money will come.
Yeah, but when you don't havethat independence and you have
to rely on someone else oryou're failing to go out and get
that knowledge, then yoursuccess level has just dwindled
(18:00):
down significantly.
So, mom, teach your child aboutindependence.
Teach your child to always belearning, and not just them, but
you too.
Mom, every week, you shouldwrite down what you learned this
week, whether it's how to cooka new dish, whether you learned
how to fix something in yourhome, whether you learned how to
(18:24):
and, if you like, wearingmakeup.
Maybe you learned how to applymakeup in a different manner
that now really makes you looksharp and beautiful.
Right, and that's okay.
It doesn't have to be somethinghuge that you learn.
Just learn something and thenpay it forward to your child.
Yeah, because once they seethat you're learning, they,
(18:47):
they're like hmm, that seemsinteresting.
I see mom over there doing thisand that and, especially if
it's something positive, I wantto do that too.
Yeah, always be learning.
And, as I mentioned in the past,mom, put the phone down for one
hour or put it on mute orairplane mode One hour.
(19:09):
Spend some time with your childor your children.
What's going on?
Further, build thatrelationship with them.
What you will find is that onceyou do that and I know a lot of
young ladies talk about that,they're lonely and so forth, and
they want to be back in arelationship about that, they're
(19:30):
lonely and so forth, and theywant to be back in a
relationship but once you startdeveloping a different type of
relationship with your child andgetting to know them yeah, we
don't know our children.
We think we do because we hadthem, but we don't know them,
especially as they get older andthey start getting exposed to
more and more things in life.
Start getting exposed to moreand more things in life.
(19:53):
Yeah, you're going to have totake that time and get to know
them and understand who they are.
Just because they got yourblood running through their
veins doesn't mean that it's100% representation of who they
are and what they represent.
And that's why, when they cometo us with different things and
we're looking like, wait, Iwould never do that.
What are you talking about?
That's because they'vedeveloped their own identity,
(20:16):
their own personality, and wehave to take that time to learn
that person, who they are, whatthey represent.
All right, ladies, I am reallydone this time.
I hope you have a great day, awonderful week and a marvelous
(20:36):
month.
You take care.
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