November 21, 2023 • 48 mins
What happens when you mix bad dates, questionable bumper stickers, and cringe-worthy teenage love stories? You end up with another episode of Sister Shit that will have you laughing out loud, rolling your eyes, and thanking the stars for some of your less disastrous dates. You'll hear all about our river encounter turned wild party, our unfortunate adolescent romances featuring a Thomas Kincaid themed mirrored house, and the time we were stuck with a friend's one-night stand.
We have an incredible guest with us today, Brooke Eby, a lady who's faced the dating world head on while living with ALS. She's here to share her unique perspective as we laugh, groan, and sympathize over her stories of blind dates gone awry, boyfriends that sucked, and misrepresentations on dating apps. Trust us, you don't want to miss her hilarious insights, or our own tales of dating mishaps and confessions of possibly being the "bad date" ourselves.
Now, who could resist a story about a date that involved nose slurping and an entire bottle of wine at a diner? Or the time we ended up sharing too many embarrassing stories with cab drivers, Uber drivers, and teachers? We promise you, these stories will leave you in stitches, and probably make you feel a whole lot better about your own dating adventures. So come along, it's time to laugh at the wild world of dating with Sister Shit's Bad Date series!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Hey, welcome to Sister Shit.
I'm Caroline, I'm Meredith andtoday we are bringing you Bad
Date, part 2.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Woo.
This is by far my favorite typeof episode.
I know why is it so fun to talkabout bad dates.
They're endless.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
They are endless and so relatable, I know, unless you
never dated anyone with enoughdecency to take you on a date,
yeah, or just like got reallylucky and have only dated nice
guys.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yeah, unfortunately, that's not the case for the
majority of us.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Yeah, so Caroline has , do you want to go read yours
first?
Yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
I have.
I have.
So like I just had a panicsituation right before this
because I'm like I don't knowwhich one to read.
There's so many good ones.
So I decided I'm going to go inorder of when they were sent to
me.
Okay, because I'm assumingwe're going to keep reading
these, so I'll just do one formore episodes.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, like Bad Date, part 3.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Okay, okay.
So for for Bad Date Part 2,I've got this one for you.
This bad, bad first date startsby meeting a dude on the river.
Don't meet dudes on the river,it's not going to be a good date
.
Which?
Speaker 1 (01:18):
if you know the river in the town that we live in.
No the current town that welive in, not a coastal town.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Not a coastal town.
Yeah, that's different.
The river is like 13 year olddrinking beer.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Yeah, that's hot.
Yep, I've seen that.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Okay.
So scene one cluelesslyfloating down the river with my
future husband, who invited meto go with him and our coworkers
.
I had no idea he was interestedin me, so I floated ahead of
him with one of my friends.
A kayak comes up beside us andthe sky starts chatting me up.
No clue what we talked about,but I remember thinking this
cute guy is flirting with me.
(01:54):
How fun.
Scene two literally the wildestday of my life.
Because I was so boring, Iended up at a party after
floating down the river.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Wait, wildest day of my life because I was so boring.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Like I think they were saying like this was one of
the wildest days of my life,because I'm typically pretty
boring.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
So this was very wild for me.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So it says I ended up at a house party after floating
the river.
Pretty sure I was the DD.
As always, I walk into theparty and this dude from the
river is there.
I was excited.
Total coincidence he hits on me, gets my number.
Do I think it might be destiny?
I sure do.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yeah, you would.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
There is a big red flag at the party that I decided
to ignore.
He was wasted.
Shugging jungle juice out ofthe bathtub when I noticed he
had a.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Does she say how old?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
she was.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
No, I'm assuming college, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Well, I don't know.
She said with my co-workers soI don't know but I was also
assuming somewhere around there,okay Okay, chugging jungle
juice out of a bathtub when Inoticed he had a giant coffin
tattooed on his leg that saidstraight edge for life.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
I'm assuming that means that it like Conflicting
that died.
Like his straight edge forlife-ness, died with drinking
jungle juice out of a bathtubWow.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I thought that's a bold statement.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
This guy might not be the smartest.
Yeah, there were dot dot dotsthere.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
So I added that in for effect Dramatic emphasis.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
So he calls me a few days after the party and asked
me out.
He lives in Spartanburg.
He drives all the way toColumbia and gets to my
apartment, walks in, plops onthe couch like he owns the place
and says ugh, so what do youwant to do?
And I'm like go get dinner, Iguess.
So this was Wait, wait, slowdown.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
This is a lot to take in.
They met, they saw each otheron the river.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
They ended up with the same.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Yeah, he like was flirting.
Yes, they ended up the samehouse party Destiny.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
He hit on her.
Got her number yes, drunk yes,tattoo yes, and then they like,
however many weeks later orwhatever, I guess, talked the
next day and yeah, it says hecalls me a few days after the
party and asks her out and comesback down to Spartanburg.
No, comes back down, I meanfrom Spartanburg.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Okay, okay.
Plops on her couch like they'veknown each other forever.
Yes, and has nothing planned.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
No and says ugh, so what do you want to do?
And I'm like go get dinner, Iguess so awkward.
Clearly he was hoping we werejust gonna hook up.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I don't know, but he asked me on the date.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Shoot After minimal conversation about how he
doesn't eat any animal productsbecause it's cruel.
We walk out to his car to goget mellow mushroom, which he
decided was the place to go asor sorry, mellow mushroom, which
he decided was the place to go.
And as we approach his vehicle,I notice he has two bumper
(04:48):
stickers on his car.
One says I'm a vegetarian.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Oh, my gosh, Okay.
And the other?
I don't.
I can't even imagine what theother one says Baby on board?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
No, the other one says it's a little Chihuahua
that says they call me dirtySanchez.
And that was the moment.
How old was he?
I don't know.
I don't know, but it says, andthat was the moment I knew this
river rat was not trying to takeme out to eat dinner and have
two conversations.
It was also the moment I knewI'd get an STD if I shared a
fork with him.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
He ate a fork.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
He ate only the bread from his sandwich at mellow
mushroom, because what the hellwould he eat at a place that
basically only serves animalproducts on bread?
The conversation was horribleand I'm pretty sure he dropped
me off at my door and then droveaway.
The end I wish I knew.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
I need to know what they talked about.
Oh, I'm sure nothing, my gosh,Can you imagine?
I can't imagine seeing thestickers on someone.
I was like I'm a vegetarian.
Like on your car.
What who?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
is okay with that.
Who made that bumper?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
sticker that's like almost that.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
I mean that is in the category of the people with the
stick figure, bumper stickersthat are like having sex with
the word it.
So it's like eff it, or thepeople that have the dangly
balls, I mean comedic bumperstickers is like a vibe in
itself.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
That would be a red flag for me alone.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
No comedic bumper stickers, yeah, and one about
eating vagina.
That's like 10 times worse.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I want nothing to do with him, but want to know
everything about him at the sametime I know Gosh wow.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I know that was so good Wild.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Thank you so much for submitting that I know Whoever
you are.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
That was so good.
That was brilliant and alsohorrifying.
Oh man, if we didn't get toyour date story.
Don't worry, it's coming.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Oh, you don't have another one for me.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
I do, but should I save it, don't?
Are you going to tell yours andthen Brooke will tell hers?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Yeah, okay, yeah, I just want more.
That was so good, so good.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I love the theatrics and the writing.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I know so good.
Okay, so mine is it really?
Mine's just like a moment froma date.
Well, okay, do you remember?
Last week we talked about, or acouple weeks ago we talked
about, judgment house boyfriend.
Judgment house boyfriend.
This is Judgment houseboyfriend.
We meet in the judgment house.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
That's where it all starts.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
An immediate love connection.
He's a little bit older, I findhe goes to different school.
There's a lot of mystery.
So I then find out he lives inthe same neighborhood as us in a
different like division of theneighborhood I live in like one
of those neighborhoods that haslike multiple.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Our parents took a cut out of vinyl village yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
So anyway, he lives in like a separate part of the
neighborhood.
I go to his house for the firsttime.
I walk in I realize immediatelyit's our exact house, but
everything's mirrored.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
So you're in your house, but mirrored.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
And to make it weirder, every single room in
the house is decorated with adifferent Thomas concade theme
which, if you don't know whoThomas concade is, he is the
painter of lights, the painterof lights.
You've seen his work for sure,especially if you've been to
Hobby Lobby.
So yeah, it was very bizarre.
At one point mom met him.
(08:30):
This is more of like aboyfriend for a minute situation
but the date itself that I'mgetting to is the most cringy
moment of my adolescence.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I feel like, if it's what I'm thinking, I know.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
So okay, I just which is more weird facts, because it
makes it all weirder.
So at one point my mom likedropped me off at his house, I
think for this date his dad is apastor and that's all I really
know His mom's like typicalpastor's wife.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
He's always tried to kiss mom on the lips.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Yeah, that's what I was about to tell.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Oh, sorry, that's okay, I just thought that was
like one of his personalitytraits.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Yeah, I mean this time he like really went in for
a kiss on the lips and then Igot in the car with their whole
family and mom.
I think mom was probably like Iprobably shouldn't have let her
go, I'm imagining Wait.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
so you saw the kiss on the lips.
I thought you were going totell the part about the car ride
.
Oh, I'm getting to that.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
So then you can tell Caroline's heart to story a lot.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
It's one of my faves.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
So we I guess we went somewhere as a family we went
on a I think I'm blendingmultiple dates with this guy.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
What kind of car did his parents drive?
So I'm just going to blend themall together.
I think no, it was a sedan.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
It was a tiny sedan which makes the climax of the
story so much worse.
So we had gone on a hayridewith this whole family and
during the hayride A he had abunch of sisters.
We were all in the hayridetogether.
It was like spooky season.
He was pretending to be ananimal and eating the eating the
(10:06):
head.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I've never told this to anyone because it was so
freaking weird and I hated everyminute of it because he was
like the older mysterious guyand he was supposed to be cool.
And he was pretending to eathay in the back of this, in the
back of this hayride and all ofthis, even his sisters were like
you're being weird Shit.
We'll have to bleep that out.
(10:29):
But, they were like you're,this is embarrassing, like
you're being annoying, stop.
So I was like second handembarrassment.
And I think at the moment I waslike, oh, this is not the best.
So then, on the way home, we'relike parked outside of some.
We're parked somewhere with hisparents.
His parents are in the frontseat of the sedan, we're in the
(10:51):
back.
He starts making out with me soaggressively.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Wait, where did his sisters?
Where were they in the sedan?
Again, I think we're.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
I think I'm blending dates, but weirdly enough, like
the majority of the dates wewent on were with his whole
family.
Yeah, so we must have drivenseparately.
Or we had gone or this has been.
This was a different date.
Anyway, we're in the back seatof the sedan and he starts
making out with me soaggressively that his dad goes.
(11:20):
Let her breathe, son, and Ihate that so much, that so much.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
What did you do?
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Were y'all close to home.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
No, he said oh I am.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
That's what he said back.
Yeah, yep.
That is disturbing, yeah, on adifferent level I know, I know,
I don't know what we wereworking with, but I can only
guess his life trajectory is notgreat.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
How do we know what he's doing?
Speaker 1 (12:01):
I have no idea.
He went to like a veryprestigious college that he was
obsessed with and I think he'sdivorced now, but that's all I
know.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Okay.
So he like broke up with, helike told you he loved you, and
then the next day broke up withyou.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Oh, did he, did that happen?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I think so.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
No, he didn't tell me he loved me.
He made a gesture with his hand.
That was one with his hand.
One, four, three.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
And I was like what are you doing?
Speaker 1 (12:33):
And he did it again and I was like what does that
mean?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
And he was like so annoyed with me because I didn't
know what it meant.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Oh, he liked to throw a little hissy fit because he
threw a hissy fit when I didn'tknow what it meant and he had to
tell me.
And he also threw a hissy fiton the hayride because I didn't
want to kiss him, a in front ofhis family and B because he had
just had hay in his mouth.
So he like pouted on the whole.
Ew, I hate a pouty boy I knowI'm like I have locked all these
(13:00):
memories so far away and nowthat the resurfacing I am gag
central Like this is disgusting.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
He said one four three, so he says one four three
.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
And then the next day breaks up with you Because you
didn't know what one, four,three meant who knows.
I think he was cheating on metoo.
That was the room, probably hewas so close.
He was gross.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
But then mom and I, mom and I were like very
invested in him at this, at thispoint, because he was always
around.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah, he was a gentleman.
He was like very shmoosy.
Yes, he was very shmoosy.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
He hung out with us all the time.
He was very like sweet to thelittle sister and so he worked
it by low and like brah and meand my mom are favorite cereal
after he had broken up with youand we were like a little turd
nugget.
Okay, like that.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
He had a full on conversation with with mom out
on the front porch.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
That was well, I was inside.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, what a weird.
Weird and pretty sure there wasa point to.
We went to peak Gosh, we didn'tdate long but he can abuse it
with our family.
Oh gosh, I don't remember thatCause I remember I don't think I
knew what this happened, butmom and dad told me later that
he had like climbed up on theroof at one point what the hell?
And like they were like what ishe doing?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Well, who's roof, I was going to say at that point.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Our house had burned down and it was Grammys.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Why did he do that?
We're staying at Grammys houseno.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
I think he was like trying to be like cool.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
And like this is like giving me so many gross he be
GPs.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
I know Anyway, good riddance Anyway so.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
So that was like half bad day.
Yeah, that was a whole thing.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Sorry, I was just going to tell the letter breathe
some, but then it just startedcoming out.
No, it unraveled.
I vomited.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, I didn't know the full extent to him and now I
do Y'all song was you should.
Let me love you, let me be theone to.
I remember thinking like goshthat is so romantic.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
I still love that song, I do too, I think of him
every time I hear it, though.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Interesting situation .
Speaker 1 (15:06):
But even more interesting than that, we have a
guest that we are so excited tointroduce you guys to.
Her name is Brooke E B and sheis coming on.
That's how I've been saying it.
I'm pretty sure it's E, b.
Okay, we'll find out real quick,but she's coming on to tell us
about a bad date and we're superexcited, so enjoy, enjoy.
(15:29):
Hi everyone, brooke, this is soexcited to have you here.
If you don't follow Brooke onInstagram, her Instagram handle
is at limp brusket, we can?
We'll put that.
We'll write that down somewhere.
What was perfectly pronounced?
Oh, thank you.
So I initially came across yourstuff when you posted a video
(15:54):
about like what a typicalappointment is like since you've
been diagnosed with ALS.
I guess it's you go inperiodically just to see like
how you're doing, like a kind ofphysical.
Yeah, Regularly.
So I was just super I don't know.
I started following youimmediately.
I just thought the way that youlike shared your experience was
(16:15):
so endearing I don't know thatmight be a weird word, but like
just really honest andoptimistic.
And then you started tellingthese incredible hilarious
stories and I was like I'm soldon this girl, like I freaking
love everything about this.
So, anyway, thank you so muchfor being here.
(16:35):
We reached out on like such alimb and we were.
We were like ecstatic when yousaid you wanted to be on our
podcast because, like we said,we have like a small but mighty
following.
Yeah, and we thought it wouldbe super fitting to have you
come on our favorite episodesever or our bad date episode.
Well, yeah, I say episodes.
We've had one bad date episode,but it was like I mean,
(16:57):
everyone has multiple bad dates.
I have no money and you told oneabout your first.
You wrote.
So she read on Instagram heremail to her friends after her
first blind date and I was likewe either need a retelling or we
need like some bad date telling.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Yeah no, I have so many no.
And I was really excited whenyou reached out because I feel
like a lot of the podcasts I goon are like strictly about
health and ALS and likesometimes I just get sick of
hearing myself talk.
So that's why I started makinglike random story videos,
because I was like I'm just likegetting fatigued of only
talking about ALS, like I kindof like doing a mix.
(17:38):
So I started telling storiesabout my life, which I'm sure
everyone has, these types ofstories like just moment in time
type stories, but like as I'mtelling them I'm like wow, I've
kind of lived a lot of lives for34, but I lived in New York
City, san Francisco and now DCas a single person, like most a
(18:05):
lot of that time, and so I havea lot of bad dating stories.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
So what industry were you in?
You told once or about likeliving, working in like a tech
startup, and I was like I stillwork in tech.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yeah, I've been at Salesforce for like seven and a
half years Cool, okay and soI've always been in the tech
industry, which is why I'vegotten to live in these like big
cities.
But yeah, single life early 20sto 30s is a scene in those
types of cities Like New.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
York and.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Timmy's are different , different types of horror
stories, but they're all fun inhindsight.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
So what's your favorite?
Okay, how old were you when youwent on your first blind date?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
It was.
It must have been like 25, 24.
Okay okay.
And my coworker set us up andshe and I are still close to
this day and like she was dyinglaughing at the, so I sent that
email in 2013.
Like it was the morning aftermy blind date, I was sitting at
work like a little hungover andI was like I feel like a lot of
(19:10):
funny things happen the lasttime.
I should just write it off withfriends.
So I wrote this email and sentit off to probably like seven or
eight of my girlfriends andthen it just started getting
forwarded.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
To the point where, like one of my friends, sent it
back to me and was like okay,Like one of you.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
oh my God, that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
Yeah, it was like my first like virality, like touch
of virality via email.
I just knew what was to come.
But yeah, I actually feel likethat guy is the most innocent of
like all like bad dates.
You can have everything he saidlike he really meant.
(19:50):
Well, he just said weird stuff.
Like I walked in and he waslike is that a boot situation
going on?
And I remember being like whata sweet.
Like I could tell he was tryingto like give me a compliment,
it just like it's a translate.
He like I felt like he wasreally having to work to be like
a human you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
That's normal.
I hate that.
But yeah, he was harmless and Ithink he's like married with
kids now and he was a cute guytoo, like weird stuff you know.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yeah, man, dates are hard.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah.
So what's like I was gonna say,like you and I, meredith, grew
up in like a very, very smalltown, like where everyone knows
everyone, and then both gotmarried like very young.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Oh, so you could go to bad date stores, because
you're like vicarious through me, I see.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I wish that I had more bad date stories, because
I'm like I don't know.
I like we had to start that Ihad a boyfriend for a minute
segment as well, because all ofmine turned into like boyfriends
that sucked.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
And so I like yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I'm honestly, I'm like I wish I would have been.
I've experienced bad datesthrough other people, like one
of my favorite things iswatching a bad date in a
restaurant.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
So I kind of have a handful of bad ones too.
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
I think like the first type of date is like one
where, like that's not evenworth talking about because,
like there's someone I was soborn, yeah, there's somewhere.
It's like you're pulling forconversation and you're just
like looking to see how long islike, how short can you stay
without really killing?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Just like ditching yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
I'm like picturing one where I was just oh, I can
still imagine it.
I was just sitting there beinglike how soon is too soon to
leave, and you're like how did Ilike come across this person's
dating profile?
Think, maybe.
And then how did we get thisfar if you can't even like say
two sentences?
Yeah, those are like the worstand they're never even worth the
(22:00):
story, because this just sucks.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Yes, I think my worst like that.
I went on a date with someone.
It was like a lunch date.
I was also in high school and Iwas dating someone else and I
was too naive to know that itwas a date.
Like I thought it was just likea friendly lunch.
And I get there and I'm like,oh, this is a date.
But it was the same situationwhere I was like not only is
this a date, but this is like adate.
(22:23):
Not a date.
I mean, it's not like worthwriting home about.
And I remember at one point Iwas like God I don't even know
if this was happening currentlyor if I was just trying to find
something to talk about, but Iwas like I love when it's
raining and sunny outside, it'slike my favorite weather.
And he was like I hate it.
And I was like, oh okay, it waslike the conversation was like
(22:46):
that bad and then it wasn't evenlike being.
It was like you wasn't evenentertaining my like.
His response was just I hate it.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I don't like it.
I was like impressive.
Like for someone to just bewilling to like end a
conversation over that is likealmost an impressive trait.
I know it's not gonna changefor anyone.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
You asked me on a date, knowing I'm dating someone
else.
You're not even gonna make thisinteresting.
Yeah, wait, what did theboyfriend was he just laughing?
He was pissed.
He obviously I like didn't.
I was like we're just friendsand he was like no, you don't go
on like a single lunch or likeany kind of like meal outing
with like one other guy.
(23:22):
That lunch is safe.
I did too, but then he paid.
When he paid, I was like ohyeah.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
So After bad dates, I always try to.
I feel like this is the tell,like I always try to pay for my
share because I'm like I want toowe you nothing.
I want this to be like a cleancut.
Yeah, the house here which Ifeel like a lot of people feel
the opposite where they're likeI want him to be so horrible.
I need to be paid for.
Oh, because my time but I'mlike thinking next steps.
(23:53):
I'm like I want to be cleanslate out of this.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Yes, I get that.
I get that, and I think thatthat is a better message to him,
maybe, of like, ooh, she wantsto.
Well, because I think it'sherself.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Yeah, probably means she doesn't.
That's assuming the guy canread the room.
And yeah, which probably whichmost of the time, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
What's your like absolute word.
If someone's like, yeah, what'syour worst aid?
Okay, oh, I can't wait.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Okay, it's a little like haunting, which is why I
remember it and I hope Iremember all the details, but,
like I think it was like 2020.
No, no, this is pre COVID, itwas 2019.
I had just moved back to NewYork City from San Francisco and
(24:43):
this guy who was like Iremember, on the dating app, he
was like very cute, really fun.
He did a little like a lot ofemojis which like in hindsight,
I'm like could it, could havelike noted that a little in
advance.
He's got a lot of repeatingletters, emojis and I was like,
okay, he's just like a littlequirky, but then I think that
(25:06):
was just like a sign of himbeing like absolutely chaotic,
because we get that, we decide.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
How many emojis are we talking A lot and, like I,
remember.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
for me to remember four years later Like a lot in a
group or like dispersedthroughout the town.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
No, like that is somehow worse.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
I got an aunt that does that and she is kind of
like a man, it's like a sign ofme.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
You know, yeah, and so.
So we go on like I agree to acoffee date, which I guess
already so noncommittal.
But we go and it's like this,really cute, like coffee place
on the upper side.
He orders a bottle of wine.
And I'm like I ordered a coffeethis was like a Saturday Like I
(25:48):
ordered a coffee morning bottleof wine, probably like noon,
like brunch time.
Okay, okay, just a buck.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
You ordered first.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Me.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Oh.
I was like I'll just go coffeeand then he's like I'm going to
get this bottle of wine and Iwas like for who?
And they like brought out twoglasses and I was like I don't
want that.
So anyway, he starts likepounding back wine and I think
he was really, really nervous.
What type of wine, I don'tremember.
I think it was like red, Likeit was bizarre, the whole thing
(26:21):
was bizarre and it was likebinary type spot too.
So like ordering wine in a diner, I feel like that bottle is
like 30 years Weird.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
So like bottle, bold move.
If you're feeling nervous, justhave a class.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Right, yeah.
Or like a mimosas, like make itlike, make sense with this.
No, he did.
Again, we're giving him toomuch credit for like having
being able to read the room, sookay.
So we start, we start talkingand he's like, oh, you lived in
New York City from like when youwere 21 to 25.
(26:59):
And he's like, were you just soinappropriate?
He's like, were you justgetting like a railed by dudes
every?
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Oh my gosh what.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
How far into the bottle was he when he asked this
?
I think pretty far, but likeobviously that part's a little
blurry Like railed.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Railed.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
That's.
That's really took me bysurprise.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
I hate that so much, Railed by dudes, and I was like
is that like a thing that peoplelike is?
That like, if you live in NewYork City, you get real.
No, no, no, real is.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
You know you're New Yorkers.
Oh my God, I was obviously likedone, but I'm like at this
point I'm just like clocking theweird stuff he's saying because
of, like, who knew I was goingto be on a podcast like this to
tell it?
But I knew I had to remember.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Oh, you did the Lord's work in that moment.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
So, like he, he brought that like those types of
things up a couple of times ofjust like trying to figure out
like how many guys I had datedor like been railed by.
And then at one point I waslike, okay, like I'm going to go
, like I have to run someerrands before before, like a
party I have tonight.
And he's like, oh, I thought wewere like hanging out all day
(28:27):
and I was like, why did youthink that?
And he's like what's he like?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
an app.
He found him on an app.
App Like the first.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Oh right, yeah, the emojis why?
Speaker 1 (28:38):
did he think you're hanging out all day?
Speaker 3 (28:40):
I think he was just like um what's trying to really
you.
Like the uh, some presumptive,presumptive, close where it's
like oh, I just think thatthat's what we're doing.
Interesting.
That works, you know like ohokay, If you thought that, then
I guess we can hang out.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Oh, interesting.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
So I was like yeah, no, like I have errands to run.
And he's like well, whaterrands do you have to run?
Speaker 2 (29:02):
No.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
And that like clearly it was calling my bluff.
So I was like I have to getsome new toothpaste.
Wow, I can't believe you'repicking toothpaste over hanging
out with me.
I'll come with you to get thetoothpaste.
I'm like, no, we're not invited, sir.
Yeah, no, it's a solo mish,like I'm good and so, anyways,
good for you.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
You stand on your ground.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Yeah, he's finishing the bottle wine.
He's like, well, I'll walk youto the CVS.
I'm like sure, so he walks meto the corner and I go to hug
him.
Goodbye.
This is the worst part.
He looks in and like slurps mynose.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
No, no, no, no no.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
It was like a mouth was around the nose and he would
know.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Like.
So it wasn't even like heaccidentally got your nose
instead of your.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
I didn't ask.
I didn't ask, but I wasn'tgoing to give him any more To
find the right spot on my face.
So I just quickly ran into CVS.
I I hid in that CVS for like 30minutes Like I didn't need a
thing.
I just hid in there and I waswaiting and I was like, please
say he didn't follow me.
Okay, so he does that.
I get home probably 30 minuteslater, by the way, like he's
(30:15):
plastered Like he drank a wholebottle of wine.
Yes, he's like red in the face.
He texted me like 30 minuteslater.
I think I'm a little tipsy.
And then a zillion emojis afterthat and I'm like, oh, I think
he's trying.
I think he was trying to likegauge, like did I notice?
I'm like sir.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I think I want to know how many you just slurped
my nose.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Yeah yeah, my nose was an ice cream cone for you,
so I want to know how many othergirls have been on.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Maybe this, maybe this podcast will call out other
women who have been on dateswith a man.
Yeah, I need to know.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
I can't even tell you his name.
It was not, it did not like, itwas not a saved number in my
phone after that day, but Iremember I had some guy and when
it's just like, it just made nosense, Like did you text back
or were you like ignore done?
Speaker 2 (31:12):
Yeah, that was that was done.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Oh, I can't imagine.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
I want to find him.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah, what year was this?
Speaker 3 (31:23):
I think it was like 2019.
Oh okay, but it's hard to.
It's hard to remember, man.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
He doesn't even have COVID to blame for, like I feel
like after COVID everyone waslike oh sorry I'm a little weird
cause of COVID he doesn't evenhave that Well yeah, or he could
have been like I didn't want tokiss your mouth because of
COVID, so I did your noseinstead.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
That's probably a more direct hit to COVID.
Actually, it was just bring anose.
Yeah, Probably is wild, yeah.
And I actually like did have aparty to go to that night and
when I went my friends were likewhat's wrong with you?
Like you look like you've seenit.
I'm like I have.
It's been a day.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
I just like can't imagine drinking an entire
bottle of wine red wine at noon.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
At like a season.
Do you remember the season?
Yes, it was winter.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Okay, better than summer.
No, no Okay well, guys,everyone's a little weird in
winter, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Oh yeah, we were like red wine.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Sure, that was my thought I was like okay, the red
wine makes sense for wintertime.
But the whole bottle does notmake sense, and noon, it being
noon, also doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
So you're assuming I'm sorry, go on.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
He was like talking to the waiter about the wine as
if we were at like a wine barand it was like we were at like
a diner.
Like the guy was like dude, Idon't know, like no one orders
wine here, so like he's likesomeone left this like seven
years ago.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Yeah, I know, oh, I hate that.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Wow, I know it kind of dims you like a shiver down
to your spine.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
My heart was like in my stomach the whole time.
You went on.
That was wild.
That the presuming like youwant the day to go on over
reminded me about this.
One time my husband and I werevisiting a friend of his from
college in Atlanta and hebrought this girl home.
He had a loft, so we were onthe couch and he brought this
girl home and was like railingher all night with us on the
(33:26):
other side of the loft.
Then if that's not, if that'snot worth, means enough.
The next morning I and I alsohad the worst hangover I think I
have ever had in my entire life.
So I was just like where wereyou I will.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
I can't, we're going to keep it on.
Oh, okay, I'm just like whatdid y'all do that made you?
Speaker 1 (33:49):
We were.
We were there for Keith'sbirthday.
I was like bringing him to aconcert the next night, oh well,
well, well, we stayed with afriend because we were broken.
We had no money for her to tell, so, anyway, we.
The next morning, though I'mlike nursing this horrible
hangover.
She's still there.
She doesn't have a car becauseshe rode home with us and he
would not drop her off.
Like we went to one of thoselike vintage antique malls it's
(34:15):
like goes on for like a mile anda half, you know, and they're
like boosts everywhere.
We went to one of those and shewas still in the closet the
night before.
I felt so bad for this girl,like she wanted to go home.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Yeah, she didn't have a toothbrush.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
You need to call you an Uber I know, and then she was
like trying to like.
I mean, it was just one ofthose things where it's like I
don't, neither of us wanted tobe super friendly because it was
like I'm never going to see you, ever again.
But here we are, we're likeantiquing, we're getting brunch,
Like meanwhile she likementioned wanting to go home a
(34:49):
few times and he like wouldn'tfind her away home.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
It was Wait.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
It was so awkward.
Oh hey, I like your headband,she likes your headband.
Oh my God, his headphones donot set me, but anyway.
So yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
It was so awkward that's happened to me before,
like I've been stuck withsomeone for a long, long time, I
don't, I don't even know, likeI can't remember.
I think I could get away, butlike they kept making me feel
really bad about it.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Oh and.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
I, I'm leaving.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
You ever wonder like, have I been the keeper?
I hadn't, until like right now,and I'm like I wonder if I've
ever been the one like let'sjust do like one more drink, or
like like I'm sure I haven't.
They've just been like Icouldn't get away.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Our last bad day episode.
Our friend was like you guysneed to assess at the end of who
actually was the bad date.
Was it like you or him?
Because, yeah, I can't rememberwhat story we were talking
about, but they were.
It was one of your stories,meredith, and she was like she
sounds like the bad day.
We friend the whole time.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Yeah, and at that point I was like trying.
I mean he had already asked meif I could do the splits and you
know it was because but Ithought it was because of the
obvious reason and he was likedamn, I've always wanted to be
able to do splits.
And then his favorite show wasbromance and he loved and sing.
So at that point I was likethis guy's gay.
So we're just going to have alittle.
I would love that guy, yeah,but he also he wasn't fun.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Like he was a through , they went disc golfing and he
threw it into a ditch and madeMeredith go get it.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
He didn't want to ruin his shoes.
I know he was.
He was sick in the mud.
Speaker 3 (36:48):
The wanting to do splits.
That's like in the office whenCreed wants to do like one
perfect.
I just want one perfectcartwheel Like I've always
wanted to do the splits.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
Thing for someone to want to do, I know.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
And you think, like you immediately are like ew,
he's being so creepy.
And then all of a sudden you'relike wait, I'm safe here.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Yeah, exactly, this is a safe space, yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Totally, but also like, well, shit, now I'm stuck
on this date and I don't knowhow to get out of it.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
I this is a date story, but one where I couldn't
get away.
I had a boyfriend thatliterally had the stomach bug
and like let me leave his house.
And I'm like, please, for thelove of God, I don't want to be
here for this.
Speaker 3 (37:33):
There's been the other way around, like it should
have been him wanting you toget out.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
I know, and he's like you don't want to take care of
me, and I'm like, no, not at all, nothing to be done.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
You'll be fine.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Yeah, just get it all out.
Oh my gosh, I literally havebad dates that I can think of.
I mean that one is like anaward winner.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
That one is.
I cannot believe the nose Likeit was already so bad.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
Yeah, I've also showed up on dates and the guy's
like 20 years older than likeeverything he claimed.
And so I remember tellingJackie about this and like I was
like this guy is saying he'slike 30 something, but like this
is the photo like from his app.
This is actually what he lookslike.
And we would just like crack upLike I would walk in, like
(38:22):
you've got to be kidding me, andthen we start idiots.
Well then I was like I wonderif he's going to start like
flossing just to show how younghe is, like just doing all these
like young things.
And so then we started beinglike look, look, I'm 30.
Look and like all the thingslike little kids would do.
That's what this like 70 yearold man was like attempting.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
What are they?
How do they expect to justifyit when you get there in person?
Like what happens when youarrive and they're much older?
What, like, what do they say?
Speaker 3 (38:51):
I think they just like want to see what they can
get away with.
I think that we're dumb.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Yeah, I think that showed up on a date with a guy
that like looked like acompletely different person in
his profile picture.
Like she had to like go back onthe date and like be like wait.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
I've also been worried that that's me too.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Like.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
I like always used to make my friends look at my
profile to be, like is this whatI look like?
And like a couple drinks inlike, is this still what it
looks like?
We got to make it honest,because I don't know a lot on
these dates.
Like I don't even really drinkanymore because I just get a
hangover within 30 minutes.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Yes, yeah, Every age, like every year that passes, I
get more hungover Earlier it'slike.
Speaker 3 (39:40):
I get less fun time and more hungover.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
So it's not worth it anymore, but I used to drink so
hard on these dates.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
Like you just go.
You're like, oh, I'll do a bagof soda.
And like you end up with like acareer for them If it's a
decent date, you're smashed bythe end of that.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
Yeah, totally my New York doorman.
The stories they could tell, ohmy gosh.
I mean doorman in generalprobably just see, like the best
I always yes.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
I think about that with cab drivers and driver
drivers all the time, like I betthey have, so they know so much
about so many people's lives.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
Bites in the back of an Uber too.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
Yeah, you have been in fights in the back of an Uber
.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
No, I'm saying like, oh yes, I definitely have.
But like, like, like yourboyfriend's just annoying you
and you went and in the Uber andthen you're like I can't
believe that's what you saidwhen they asked you that
question.
Like it all comes out in theUber.
Maybe I should have been a cabdriver, they just have to deal
with it.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
So it's just like a hobby for me to like eavesdrop I
should have become an.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Uber driver, yeah, I just people like in my space, is
the, you know?
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Yeah yeah, I know, and also like the drunk people
that like fuken your car orworse.
Yeah yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
Maybe we made good choices.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
Yeah, we're not ready to take professions but like if
any of them want to write up,tell all.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
Yes, yeah, oh, I'll be a.
Yes, I'd be a ghost driver forany of the driver I used to
follow this girl that would post.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
She was a teacher and she would always post, like
things that kids have told herin the past.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, thethings that teachers have to
hear about, like, think, like, Ithink all the time Kids child
is telling his teacher about meand Sam.
Yes, I know, oh God.
I mean about me and Jay, I'mlike oh gosh, it's so bad.
(41:40):
They probably think I'm liketerrible.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
No, I don't think I ever told my teacher anything
like maybe, maybe it's like akindergarten, like yeah, but
like I was never like my mom,yeah that's get a load of this
yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
I did one time call my male teacher and the second
grade mom, and it still hauntsme to this day.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
Honestly, that was the most.
Why was that so much moreembarrassing than anything else?
Speaker 1 (42:11):
It really was.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
Kids were like peeing and throwing up in class, but
calling them your teacher, mom,mom, is the worst which is
really so funny that you saythat, because yesterday at
dinner we're running, we'rerunning low on time, but we'll
wrap things up.
My son yesterday I would, wewere like how's your day?
He's for, like how's your day?
And he was like well, so and sowhat their pants?
(42:35):
And was like giving me theupdates on like who what their
pants that day and I was justlike trying so hard not to laugh
because I'm like it's so funnyhow frequent this isn't a four
year old's life that it's a partof the daily report and like an
adult for doing that Like whatis happening, but I was just
like my son's poor teacher is ina literal version of hell.
Speaker 3 (43:00):
My niece has like nicknamed that.
She was like five or six whenshe did this, but like I was
like oh, who's in your classesthis year?
And she was like chase, who hasa crush on me, brian who farted
, who vomited, like all of themwere like some, like Lydia who
vomited, and I was like, oh,like that's how she remembered
(43:21):
people.
I'm like God, that's so toughIf you're Brian.
And then it was, and who fartedwas Brian who farted.
And then she corrected it toBrian who heard me fart.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
So I was like oh, okay.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
Oh wait, no, no, no, that was me.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
He wasn't the one who farted Molly, and she was like
Brian, I was almost married ifyou farted, because in this this
will be our closing story hasnothing to do with bad dates,
but it does have to do withfarting.
I was in the sixth grade, whichis way like the worst possible
time ever to audibly fart inpublic, and this is the same
(44:00):
year that I would like anyway.
We don't have to get intodetails, but we've chronicled a
little bit of my sixth gradejourney.
So I farted in math class andnobody heard it, except for this
one guy, and I don't evenremember what his name was, but
he knew it was me and he tookthe blame.
You guys, it was the mostheroic, chivalrous, chivalrous
(44:25):
thing any man has ever done forme.
Speaker 3 (44:29):
Wait, you don't remember his name.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
No, I remember what he looked like.
I think it's with.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
Mark Huh, I don't know now, but you can send him a
message.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
I hope he hears this.
I think his name is Mark, butyeah, I mean, he saw the fear in
my eyes and he said you knowwhat, I'm taking this one.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
I know he volunteered .
Speaker 1 (44:53):
I think someone was like who farted and he was like
it was me.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
I think, but like I feel, like no one needed to
answer like he.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
His third boys are wild.
They like get points forfarting in class.
Speaker 3 (45:08):
Yeah, you probably did a massal it honestly.
Maybe I don't know it was likea little.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
It was like a little I don't know.
No one was like oh, cool mark.
It was like it was like oh haha.
But if it was me, you guys.
I would have been just likemade fun of for having a really
book bag, Like you know, youwould have been the girl with
the wolf.
For make it for my dad showingup with trees in the truck and
carline the girl that with thewheelie book bag that farted in
(45:34):
who farted.
Speaker 3 (45:36):
Yeah, that's a long nickname.
Sixth grade is like when you'retrying to start, like I feel.
Like when you go into sixthgrade you don't realize, you
think it's just going to be likeelementary school, but then you
get there and like, the eighthgraders are there looking like
women, they got big boobs.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Yes, yes, One of my nieces and this was the early
2000s man People were wearingthongs outside of their jeans.
It was wild.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
Yeah, juicy on there, but my niece went to sixth
grade, like this year, and shewas like they're guys with
mustaches.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
You're like there was a guy with a beard at my school
and we all secretly call himdad.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
Oh no, oh, that's mean I know, I know, but it was
like as a girl.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
It was like, oh gosh, he's old.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
Yeah, I remember one time asking a guy on the bus
what do you want?
He was like we're in seventhgrade and he was in sixth,
because it's like that age where, like, some people are still
kids, and summer and I don'tknow.
We were like, what are youasking for for Christmas?
He was like toys.
And we were like, oh, we hadcrossed over.
And he was.
We were like, oh, cool, yeah,you're still a child.
(46:43):
It was it's such a strange age.
And then he wheeled off withyour back and I was like bye, I
actually just wrote it into thesunset, okay, um, well, this was
amazing.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Yeah, thank you again .
Speaker 1 (47:01):
I laughed so much.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
Oh my God, it was so fun.
Speaker 3 (47:05):
I hope, uh, I hope it goes down in bad date history
so well you can read it.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
I'm assuming it'll bring out a lot of other people
being like wait a minute my nosewas slurped into a serial
problem.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
I wonder maybe that guy's?
Still doing it today?
I don't know.
I got a, I would.
I would love to know, it mightbe like his thing.
Yeah, his calling card.
He has like a nose thing, yeah,the wet nose band.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Ew, oh my gosh.
Well, um, don't forget tofollow Brooke.
She is awesome.
I obviously, Meredith, you werelike one of the people which I
feel like this is a big deal,that like if your sister sends
you someone is like you need tofollow her.
Yeah, so, um, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
Thank you, guys so much for having us.
This was so fun.
Love to really go haunting taleyes, oh my gosh, thank you,
this will be out, this will beout, um, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Thanksgiving week, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Yes, and we will sign off bysaying see you next Tuesday.
Hey, welcome to Sister Shit.
I'm Caroline, I'm Meredith andtoday we are bringing you Bad
Date, part 2.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Woo.
This is by far my favorite typeof episode.
I know why is it so fun to talkabout bad dates.
They're endless.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
They are endless and so relatable, I know, unless you
never dated anyone with enoughdecency to take you on a date,
yeah, or just like got reallylucky and have only dated nice
guys.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yeah, unfortunately, that's not the case for the
majority of us.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Yeah, so Caroline has , do you want to go read yours
first?
Yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
I have.
I have.
So like I just had a panicsituation right before this
because I'm like I don't knowwhich one to read.
There's so many good ones.
So I decided I'm going to go inorder of when they were sent to
me.
Okay, because I'm assumingwe're going to keep reading
these, so I'll just do one formore episodes.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, like Bad Date, part 3.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Okay, okay.
So for for Bad Date Part 2,I've got this one for you.
This bad, bad first date startsby meeting a dude on the river.
Don't meet dudes on the river,it's not going to be a good date
.
Which?
Speaker 1 (01:18):
if you know the river in the town that we live in.
No the current town that welive in, not a coastal town.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Not a coastal town.
Yeah, that's different.
The river is like 13 year olddrinking beer.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Yeah, that's hot.
Yep, I've seen that.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Okay.
So scene one cluelesslyfloating down the river with my
future husband, who invited meto go with him and our coworkers
.
I had no idea he was interestedin me, so I floated ahead of
him with one of my friends.
A kayak comes up beside us andthe sky starts chatting me up.
No clue what we talked about,but I remember thinking this
cute guy is flirting with me.
(01:54):
How fun.
Scene two literally the wildestday of my life.
Because I was so boring, Iended up at a party after
floating down the river.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Wait, wildest day of my life because I was so boring.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Like I think they were saying like this was one of
the wildest days of my life,because I'm typically pretty
boring.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
So this was very wild for me.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So it says I ended up at a house party after floating
the river.
Pretty sure I was the DD.
As always, I walk into theparty and this dude from the
river is there.
I was excited.
Total coincidence he hits on me, gets my number.
Do I think it might be destiny?
I sure do.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yeah, you would.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
There is a big red flag at the party that I decided
to ignore.
He was wasted.
Shugging jungle juice out ofthe bathtub when I noticed he
had a.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Does she say how old?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
she was.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
No, I'm assuming college, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Well, I don't know.
She said with my co-workers soI don't know but I was also
assuming somewhere around there,okay Okay, chugging jungle
juice out of a bathtub when Inoticed he had a giant coffin
tattooed on his leg that saidstraight edge for life.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
I'm assuming that means that it like Conflicting
that died.
Like his straight edge forlife-ness, died with drinking
jungle juice out of a bathtubWow.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I thought that's a bold statement.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
This guy might not be the smartest.
Yeah, there were dot dot dotsthere.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
So I added that in for effect Dramatic emphasis.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
So he calls me a few days after the party and asked
me out.
He lives in Spartanburg.
He drives all the way toColumbia and gets to my
apartment, walks in, plops onthe couch like he owns the place
and says ugh, so what do youwant to do?
And I'm like go get dinner, Iguess.
So this was Wait, wait, slowdown.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
This is a lot to take in.
They met, they saw each otheron the river.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
They ended up with the same.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Yeah, he like was flirting.
Yes, they ended up the samehouse party Destiny.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
He hit on her.
Got her number yes, drunk yes,tattoo yes, and then they like,
however many weeks later orwhatever, I guess, talked the
next day and yeah, it says hecalls me a few days after the
party and asks her out and comesback down to Spartanburg.
No, comes back down, I meanfrom Spartanburg.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Okay, okay.
Plops on her couch like they'veknown each other forever.
Yes, and has nothing planned.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
No and says ugh, so what do you want to do?
And I'm like go get dinner, Iguess so awkward.
Clearly he was hoping we werejust gonna hook up.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
I don't know, but he asked me on the date.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Shoot After minimal conversation about how he
doesn't eat any animal productsbecause it's cruel.
We walk out to his car to goget mellow mushroom, which he
decided was the place to go asor sorry, mellow mushroom, which
he decided was the place to go.
And as we approach his vehicle,I notice he has two bumper
(04:48):
stickers on his car.
One says I'm a vegetarian.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Oh, my gosh, Okay.
And the other?
I don't.
I can't even imagine what theother one says Baby on board?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
No, the other one says it's a little Chihuahua
that says they call me dirtySanchez.
And that was the moment.
How old was he?
I don't know.
I don't know, but it says, andthat was the moment I knew this
river rat was not trying to takeme out to eat dinner and have
two conversations.
It was also the moment I knewI'd get an STD if I shared a
fork with him.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
He ate a fork.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
He ate only the bread from his sandwich at mellow
mushroom, because what the hellwould he eat at a place that
basically only serves animalproducts on bread?
The conversation was horribleand I'm pretty sure he dropped
me off at my door and then droveaway.
The end I wish I knew.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
I need to know what they talked about.
Oh, I'm sure nothing, my gosh,Can you imagine?
I can't imagine seeing thestickers on someone.
I was like I'm a vegetarian.
Like on your car.
What who?
Speaker 2 (06:04):
is okay with that.
Who made that bumper?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
sticker that's like almost that.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
I mean that is in the category of the people with the
stick figure, bumper stickersthat are like having sex with
the word it.
So it's like eff it, or thepeople that have the dangly
balls, I mean comedic bumperstickers is like a vibe in
itself.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
That would be a red flag for me alone.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
No comedic bumper stickers, yeah, and one about
eating vagina.
That's like 10 times worse.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I want nothing to do with him, but want to know
everything about him at the sametime I know Gosh wow.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I know that was so good Wild.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Thank you so much for submitting that I know Whoever
you are.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
That was so good.
That was brilliant and alsohorrifying.
Oh man, if we didn't get toyour date story.
Don't worry, it's coming.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Oh, you don't have another one for me.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
I do, but should I save it, don't?
Are you going to tell yours andthen Brooke will tell hers?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Yeah, okay, yeah, I just want more.
That was so good, so good.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I love the theatrics and the writing.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I know so good.
Okay, so mine is it really?
Mine's just like a moment froma date.
Well, okay, do you remember?
Last week we talked about, or acouple weeks ago we talked
about, judgment house boyfriend.
Judgment house boyfriend.
This is Judgment houseboyfriend.
We meet in the judgment house.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
That's where it all starts.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
An immediate love connection.
He's a little bit older, I findhe goes to different school.
There's a lot of mystery.
So I then find out he lives inthe same neighborhood as us in a
different like division of theneighborhood I live in like one
of those neighborhoods that haslike multiple.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Our parents took a cut out of vinyl village yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
So anyway, he lives in like a separate part of the
neighborhood.
I go to his house for the firsttime.
I walk in I realize immediatelyit's our exact house, but
everything's mirrored.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
So you're in your house, but mirrored.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
And to make it weirder, every single room in
the house is decorated with adifferent Thomas concade theme
which, if you don't know whoThomas concade is, he is the
painter of lights, the painterof lights.
You've seen his work for sure,especially if you've been to
Hobby Lobby.
So yeah, it was very bizarre.
At one point mom met him.
(08:30):
This is more of like aboyfriend for a minute situation
but the date itself that I'mgetting to is the most cringy
moment of my adolescence.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I feel like, if it's what I'm thinking, I know.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
So okay, I just which is more weird facts, because it
makes it all weirder.
So at one point my mom likedropped me off at his house, I
think for this date his dad is apastor and that's all I really
know His mom's like typicalpastor's wife.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
He's always tried to kiss mom on the lips.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Yeah, that's what I was about to tell.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Oh, sorry, that's okay, I just thought that was
like one of his personalitytraits.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Yeah, I mean this time he like really went in for
a kiss on the lips and then Igot in the car with their whole
family and mom.
I think mom was probably like Iprobably shouldn't have let her
go, I'm imagining Wait.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
so you saw the kiss on the lips.
I thought you were going totell the part about the car ride
.
Oh, I'm getting to that.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
So then you can tell Caroline's heart to story a lot.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
It's one of my faves.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
So we I guess we went somewhere as a family we went
on a I think I'm blendingmultiple dates with this guy.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
What kind of car did his parents drive?
So I'm just going to blend themall together.
I think no, it was a sedan.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
It was a tiny sedan which makes the climax of the
story so much worse.
So we had gone on a hayridewith this whole family and
during the hayride A he had abunch of sisters.
We were all in the hayridetogether.
It was like spooky season.
He was pretending to be ananimal and eating the eating the
(10:06):
head.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I've never told this to anyone because it was so
freaking weird and I hated everyminute of it because he was
like the older mysterious guyand he was supposed to be cool.
And he was pretending to eathay in the back of this, in the
back of this hayride and all ofthis, even his sisters were like
you're being weird Shit.
We'll have to bleep that out.
(10:29):
But, they were like you're,this is embarrassing, like
you're being annoying, stop.
So I was like second handembarrassment.
And I think at the moment I waslike, oh, this is not the best.
So then, on the way home, we'relike parked outside of some.
We're parked somewhere with hisparents.
His parents are in the frontseat of the sedan, we're in the
(10:51):
back.
He starts making out with me soaggressively.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Wait, where did his sisters?
Where were they in the sedan?
Again, I think we're.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
I think I'm blending dates, but weirdly enough, like
the majority of the dates wewent on were with his whole
family.
Yeah, so we must have drivenseparately.
Or we had gone or this has been.
This was a different date.
Anyway, we're in the back seatof the sedan and he starts
making out with me soaggressively that his dad goes.
(11:20):
Let her breathe, son, and Ihate that so much, that so much.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
What did you do?
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Were y'all close to home.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
No, he said oh I am.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
That's what he said back.
Yeah, yep.
That is disturbing, yeah, on adifferent level I know, I know,
I don't know what we wereworking with, but I can only
guess his life trajectory is notgreat.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
How do we know what he's doing?
Speaker 1 (12:01):
I have no idea.
He went to like a veryprestigious college that he was
obsessed with and I think he'sdivorced now, but that's all I
know.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Okay.
So he like broke up with, helike told you he loved you, and
then the next day broke up withyou.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Oh, did he, did that happen?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I think so.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
No, he didn't tell me he loved me.
He made a gesture with his hand.
That was one with his hand.
One, four, three.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
And I was like what are you doing?
Speaker 1 (12:33):
And he did it again and I was like what does that
mean?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
And he was like so annoyed with me because I didn't
know what it meant.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Oh, he liked to throw a little hissy fit because he
threw a hissy fit when I didn'tknow what it meant and he had to
tell me.
And he also threw a hissy fiton the hayride because I didn't
want to kiss him, a in front ofhis family and B because he had
just had hay in his mouth.
So he like pouted on the whole.
Ew, I hate a pouty boy I knowI'm like I have locked all these
(13:00):
memories so far away and nowthat the resurfacing I am gag
central Like this is disgusting.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
He said one four three, so he says one four three
.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
And then the next day breaks up with you Because you
didn't know what one, four,three meant who knows.
I think he was cheating on metoo.
That was the room, probably hewas so close.
He was gross.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
But then mom and I, mom and I were like very
invested in him at this, at thispoint, because he was always
around.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah, he was a gentleman.
He was like very shmoosy.
Yes, he was very shmoosy.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
He hung out with us all the time.
He was very like sweet to thelittle sister and so he worked
it by low and like brah and meand my mom are favorite cereal
after he had broken up with youand we were like a little turd
nugget.
Okay, like that.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
He had a full on conversation with with mom out
on the front porch.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
That was well, I was inside.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, what a weird.
Weird and pretty sure there wasa point to.
We went to peak Gosh, we didn'tdate long but he can abuse it
with our family.
Oh gosh, I don't remember thatCause I remember I don't think I
knew what this happened, butmom and dad told me later that
he had like climbed up on theroof at one point what the hell?
And like they were like what ishe doing?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Well, who's roof, I was going to say at that point.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Our house had burned down and it was Grammys.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Why did he do that?
We're staying at Grammys houseno.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
I think he was like trying to be like cool.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
And like this is like giving me so many gross he be
GPs.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
I know Anyway, good riddance Anyway so.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
So that was like half bad day.
Yeah, that was a whole thing.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Sorry, I was just going to tell the letter breathe
some, but then it just startedcoming out.
No, it unraveled.
I vomited.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, I didn't know the full extent to him and now I
do Y'all song was you should.
Let me love you, let me be theone to.
I remember thinking like goshthat is so romantic.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
I still love that song, I do too, I think of him
every time I hear it, though.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Interesting situation .
Speaker 1 (15:06):
But even more interesting than that, we have a
guest that we are so excited tointroduce you guys to.
Her name is Brooke E B and sheis coming on.
That's how I've been saying it.
I'm pretty sure it's E, b.
Okay, we'll find out real quick,but she's coming on to tell us
about a bad date and we're superexcited, so enjoy, enjoy.
(15:29):
Hi everyone, brooke, this is soexcited to have you here.
If you don't follow Brooke onInstagram, her Instagram handle
is at limp brusket, we can?
We'll put that.
We'll write that down somewhere.
What was perfectly pronounced?
Oh, thank you.
So I initially came across yourstuff when you posted a video
(15:54):
about like what a typicalappointment is like since you've
been diagnosed with ALS.
I guess it's you go inperiodically just to see like
how you're doing, like a kind ofphysical.
Yeah, Regularly.
So I was just super I don't know.
I started following youimmediately.
I just thought the way that youlike shared your experience was
(16:15):
so endearing I don't know thatmight be a weird word, but like
just really honest andoptimistic.
And then you started tellingthese incredible hilarious
stories and I was like I'm soldon this girl, like I freaking
love everything about this.
So, anyway, thank you so muchfor being here.
(16:35):
We reached out on like such alimb and we were.
We were like ecstatic when yousaid you wanted to be on our
podcast because, like we said,we have like a small but mighty
following.
Yeah, and we thought it wouldbe super fitting to have you
come on our favorite episodesever or our bad date episode.
Well, yeah, I say episodes.
We've had one bad date episode,but it was like I mean,
(16:57):
everyone has multiple bad dates.
I have no money and you told oneabout your first.
You wrote.
So she read on Instagram heremail to her friends after her
first blind date and I was likewe either need a retelling or we
need like some bad date telling.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Yeah no, I have so many no.
And I was really excited whenyou reached out because I feel
like a lot of the podcasts I goon are like strictly about
health and ALS and likesometimes I just get sick of
hearing myself talk.
So that's why I started makinglike random story videos,
because I was like I'm just likegetting fatigued of only
talking about ALS, like I kindof like doing a mix.
(17:38):
So I started telling storiesabout my life, which I'm sure
everyone has, these types ofstories like just moment in time
type stories, but like as I'mtelling them I'm like wow, I've
kind of lived a lot of lives for34, but I lived in New York
City, san Francisco and now DCas a single person, like most a
(18:05):
lot of that time, and so I havea lot of bad dating stories.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
So what industry were you in?
You told once or about likeliving, working in like a tech
startup, and I was like I stillwork in tech.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yeah, I've been at Salesforce for like seven and a
half years Cool, okay and soI've always been in the tech
industry, which is why I'vegotten to live in these like big
cities.
But yeah, single life early 20sto 30s is a scene in those
types of cities Like New.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
York and.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Timmy's are different , different types of horror
stories, but they're all fun inhindsight.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
So what's your favorite?
Okay, how old were you when youwent on your first blind date?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
It was.
It must have been like 25, 24.
Okay okay.
And my coworker set us up andshe and I are still close to
this day and like she was dyinglaughing at the, so I sent that
email in 2013.
Like it was the morning aftermy blind date, I was sitting at
work like a little hungover andI was like I feel like a lot of
(19:10):
funny things happen the lasttime.
I should just write it off withfriends.
So I wrote this email and sentit off to probably like seven or
eight of my girlfriends andthen it just started getting
forwarded.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
To the point where, like one of my friends, sent it
back to me and was like okay,Like one of you.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
oh my God, that's amazing.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
Yeah, it was like my first like virality, like touch
of virality via email.
I just knew what was to come.
But yeah, I actually feel likethat guy is the most innocent of
like all like bad dates.
You can have everything he saidlike he really meant.
(19:50):
Well, he just said weird stuff.
Like I walked in and he waslike is that a boot situation
going on?
And I remember being like whata sweet.
Like I could tell he was tryingto like give me a compliment,
it just like it's a translate.
He like I felt like he wasreally having to work to be like
a human you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
That's normal.
I hate that.
But yeah, he was harmless and Ithink he's like married with
kids now and he was a cute guytoo, like weird stuff you know.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yeah, man, dates are hard.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah.
So what's like I was gonna say,like you and I, meredith, grew
up in like a very, very smalltown, like where everyone knows
everyone, and then both gotmarried like very young.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Oh, so you could go to bad date stores, because
you're like vicarious through me, I see.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I wish that I had more bad date stories, because
I'm like I don't know.
I like we had to start that Ihad a boyfriend for a minute
segment as well, because all ofmine turned into like boyfriends
that sucked.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
And so I like yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I'm honestly, I'm like I wish I would have been.
I've experienced bad datesthrough other people, like one
of my favorite things iswatching a bad date in a
restaurant.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
So I kind of have a handful of bad ones too.
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
I think like the first type of date is like one
where, like that's not evenworth talking about because,
like there's someone I was soborn, yeah, there's somewhere.
It's like you're pulling forconversation and you're just
like looking to see how long islike, how short can you stay
without really killing?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Just like ditching yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
I'm like picturing one where I was just oh, I can
still imagine it.
I was just sitting there beinglike how soon is too soon to
leave, and you're like how did Ilike come across this person's
dating profile?
Think, maybe.
And then how did we get thisfar if you can't even like say
two sentences?
Yeah, those are like the worstand they're never even worth the
(22:00):
story, because this just sucks.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Yes, I think my worst like that.
I went on a date with someone.
It was like a lunch date.
I was also in high school and Iwas dating someone else and I
was too naive to know that itwas a date.
Like I thought it was just likea friendly lunch.
And I get there and I'm like,oh, this is a date.
But it was the same situationwhere I was like not only is
this a date, but this is like adate.
(22:23):
Not a date.
I mean, it's not like worthwriting home about.
And I remember at one point Iwas like God I don't even know
if this was happening currentlyor if I was just trying to find
something to talk about, but Iwas like I love when it's
raining and sunny outside, it'slike my favorite weather.
And he was like I hate it.
And I was like, oh okay, it waslike the conversation was like
(22:46):
that bad and then it wasn't evenlike being.
It was like you wasn't evenentertaining my like.
His response was just I hate it.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I don't like it.
I was like impressive.
Like for someone to just bewilling to like end a
conversation over that is likealmost an impressive trait.
I know it's not gonna changefor anyone.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
You asked me on a date, knowing I'm dating someone
else.
You're not even gonna make thisinteresting.
Yeah, wait, what did theboyfriend was he just laughing?
He was pissed.
He obviously I like didn't.
I was like we're just friendsand he was like no, you don't go
on like a single lunch or likeany kind of like meal outing
with like one other guy.
(23:22):
That lunch is safe.
I did too, but then he paid.
When he paid, I was like ohyeah.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
So After bad dates, I always try to.
I feel like this is the tell,like I always try to pay for my
share because I'm like I want toowe you nothing.
I want this to be like a cleancut.
Yeah, the house here which Ifeel like a lot of people feel
the opposite where they're likeI want him to be so horrible.
I need to be paid for.
Oh, because my time but I'mlike thinking next steps.
(23:53):
I'm like I want to be cleanslate out of this.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Yes, I get that.
I get that, and I think thatthat is a better message to him,
maybe, of like, ooh, she wantsto.
Well, because I think it'sherself.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Yeah, probably means she doesn't.
That's assuming the guy canread the room.
And yeah, which probably whichmost of the time, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
What's your like absolute word.
If someone's like, yeah, what'syour worst aid?
Okay, oh, I can't wait.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Okay, it's a little like haunting, which is why I
remember it and I hope Iremember all the details, but,
like I think it was like 2020.
No, no, this is pre COVID, itwas 2019.
I had just moved back to NewYork City from San Francisco and
(24:43):
this guy who was like Iremember, on the dating app, he
was like very cute, really fun.
He did a little like a lot ofemojis which like in hindsight,
I'm like could it, could havelike noted that a little in
advance.
He's got a lot of repeatingletters, emojis and I was like,
okay, he's just like a littlequirky, but then I think that
(25:06):
was just like a sign of himbeing like absolutely chaotic,
because we get that, we decide.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
How many emojis are we talking A lot and, like I,
remember.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
for me to remember four years later Like a lot in a
group or like dispersedthroughout the town.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
No, like that is somehow worse.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
I got an aunt that does that and she is kind of
like a man, it's like a sign ofme.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
You know, yeah, and so.
So we go on like I agree to acoffee date, which I guess
already so noncommittal.
But we go and it's like this,really cute, like coffee place
on the upper side.
He orders a bottle of wine.
And I'm like I ordered a coffeethis was like a Saturday Like I
(25:48):
ordered a coffee morning bottleof wine, probably like noon,
like brunch time.
Okay, okay, just a buck.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
You ordered first.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Me.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Oh.
I was like I'll just go coffeeand then he's like I'm going to
get this bottle of wine and Iwas like for who?
And they like brought out twoglasses and I was like I don't
want that.
So anyway, he starts likepounding back wine and I think
he was really, really nervous.
What type of wine, I don'tremember.
I think it was like red, Likeit was bizarre, the whole thing
(26:21):
was bizarre and it was likebinary type spot too.
So like ordering wine in a diner, I feel like that bottle is
like 30 years Weird.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
So like bottle, bold move.
If you're feeling nervous, justhave a class.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Right, yeah.
Or like a mimosas, like make itlike, make sense with this.
No, he did.
Again, we're giving him toomuch credit for like having
being able to read the room, sookay.
So we start, we start talkingand he's like, oh, you lived in
New York City from like when youwere 21 to 25.
(26:59):
And he's like, were you just soinappropriate?
He's like, were you justgetting like a railed by dudes
every?
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Oh my gosh what.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
How far into the bottle was he when he asked this
?
I think pretty far, but likeobviously that part's a little
blurry Like railed.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Railed.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
That's.
That's really took me bysurprise.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
I hate that so much, Railed by dudes, and I was like
is that like a thing that peoplelike is?
That like, if you live in NewYork City, you get real.
No, no, no, real is.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
You know you're New Yorkers.
Oh my God, I was obviously likedone, but I'm like at this
point I'm just like clocking theweird stuff he's saying because
of, like, who knew I was goingto be on a podcast like this to
tell it?
But I knew I had to remember.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Oh, you did the Lord's work in that moment.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
So, like he, he brought that like those types of
things up a couple of times ofjust like trying to figure out
like how many guys I had datedor like been railed by.
And then at one point I waslike, okay, like I'm going to go
, like I have to run someerrands before before, like a
party I have tonight.
And he's like, oh, I thought wewere like hanging out all day
(28:27):
and I was like, why did youthink that?
And he's like what's he like?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
an app.
He found him on an app.
App Like the first.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Oh right, yeah, the emojis why?
Speaker 1 (28:38):
did he think you're hanging out all day?
Speaker 3 (28:40):
I think he was just like um what's trying to really
you.
Like the uh, some presumptive,presumptive, close where it's
like oh, I just think thatthat's what we're doing.
Interesting.
That works, you know like ohokay, If you thought that, then
I guess we can hang out.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Oh, interesting.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
So I was like yeah, no, like I have errands to run.
And he's like well, whaterrands do you have to run?
Speaker 2 (29:02):
No.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
And that like clearly it was calling my bluff.
So I was like I have to getsome new toothpaste.
Wow, I can't believe you'repicking toothpaste over hanging
out with me.
I'll come with you to get thetoothpaste.
I'm like, no, we're not invited, sir.
Yeah, no, it's a solo mish,like I'm good and so, anyways,
good for you.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
You stand on your ground.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Yeah, he's finishing the bottle wine.
He's like, well, I'll walk youto the CVS.
I'm like sure, so he walks meto the corner and I go to hug
him.
Goodbye.
This is the worst part.
He looks in and like slurps mynose.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
No, no, no, no no.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
It was like a mouth was around the nose and he would
know.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Like.
So it wasn't even like heaccidentally got your nose
instead of your.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
I didn't ask.
I didn't ask, but I wasn'tgoing to give him any more To
find the right spot on my face.
So I just quickly ran into CVS.
I I hid in that CVS for like 30minutes Like I didn't need a
thing.
I just hid in there and I waswaiting and I was like, please
say he didn't follow me.
Okay, so he does that.
I get home probably 30 minuteslater, by the way, like he's
(30:15):
plastered Like he drank a wholebottle of wine.
Yes, he's like red in the face.
He texted me like 30 minuteslater.
I think I'm a little tipsy.
And then a zillion emojis afterthat and I'm like, oh, I think
he's trying.
I think he was trying to likegauge, like did I notice?
I'm like sir.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I think I want to know how many you just slurped
my nose.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Yeah yeah, my nose was an ice cream cone for you,
so I want to know how many othergirls have been on.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Maybe this, maybe this podcast will call out other
women who have been on dateswith a man.
Yeah, I need to know.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
I can't even tell you his name.
It was not, it did not like, itwas not a saved number in my
phone after that day, but Iremember I had some guy and when
it's just like, it just made nosense, Like did you text back
or were you like ignore done?
Speaker 2 (31:12):
Yeah, that was that was done.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Oh, I can't imagine.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
I want to find him.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah, what year was this?
Speaker 3 (31:23):
I think it was like 2019.
Oh okay, but it's hard to.
It's hard to remember, man.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
He doesn't even have COVID to blame for, like I feel
like after COVID everyone waslike oh sorry I'm a little weird
cause of COVID he doesn't evenhave that Well yeah, or he could
have been like I didn't want tokiss your mouth because of
COVID, so I did your noseinstead.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
That's probably a more direct hit to COVID.
Actually, it was just bring anose.
Yeah, Probably is wild, yeah.
And I actually like did have aparty to go to that night and
when I went my friends were likewhat's wrong with you?
Like you look like you've seenit.
I'm like I have.
It's been a day.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
I just like can't imagine drinking an entire
bottle of wine red wine at noon.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
At like a season.
Do you remember the season?
Yes, it was winter.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Okay, better than summer.
No, no Okay well, guys,everyone's a little weird in
winter, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Oh yeah, we were like red wine.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Sure, that was my thought I was like okay, the red
wine makes sense for wintertime.
But the whole bottle does notmake sense, and noon, it being
noon, also doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
So you're assuming I'm sorry, go on.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
He was like talking to the waiter about the wine as
if we were at like a wine barand it was like we were at like
a diner.
Like the guy was like dude, Idon't know, like no one orders
wine here, so like he's likesomeone left this like seven
years ago.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Yeah, I know, oh, I hate that.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Wow, I know it kind of dims you like a shiver down
to your spine.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
My heart was like in my stomach the whole time.
You went on.
That was wild.
That the presuming like youwant the day to go on over
reminded me about this.
One time my husband and I werevisiting a friend of his from
college in Atlanta and hebrought this girl home.
He had a loft, so we were onthe couch and he brought this
girl home and was like railingher all night with us on the
(33:26):
other side of the loft.
Then if that's not, if that'snot worth, means enough.
The next morning I and I alsohad the worst hangover I think I
have ever had in my entire life.
So I was just like where wereyou I will.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
I can't, we're going to keep it on.
Oh, okay, I'm just like whatdid y'all do that made you?
Speaker 1 (33:49):
We were.
We were there for Keith'sbirthday.
I was like bringing him to aconcert the next night, oh well,
well, well, we stayed with afriend because we were broken.
We had no money for her to tell, so, anyway, we.
The next morning, though I'mlike nursing this horrible
hangover.
She's still there.
She doesn't have a car becauseshe rode home with us and he
would not drop her off.
Like we went to one of thoselike vintage antique malls it's
(34:15):
like goes on for like a mile anda half, you know, and they're
like boosts everywhere.
We went to one of those and shewas still in the closet the
night before.
I felt so bad for this girl,like she wanted to go home.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Yeah, she didn't have a toothbrush.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
You need to call you an Uber I know, and then she was
like trying to like.
I mean, it was just one ofthose things where it's like I
don't, neither of us wanted tobe super friendly because it was
like I'm never going to see you, ever again.
But here we are, we're likeantiquing, we're getting brunch,
Like meanwhile she likementioned wanting to go home a
(34:49):
few times and he like wouldn'tfind her away home.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
It was Wait.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
It was so awkward.
Oh hey, I like your headband,she likes your headband.
Oh my God, his headphones donot set me, but anyway.
So yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
It was so awkward that's happened to me before,
like I've been stuck withsomeone for a long, long time, I
don't, I don't even know, likeI can't remember.
I think I could get away, butlike they kept making me feel
really bad about it.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Oh and.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
I, I'm leaving.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
You ever wonder like, have I been the keeper?
I hadn't, until like right now,and I'm like I wonder if I've
ever been the one like let'sjust do like one more drink, or
like like I'm sure I haven't.
They've just been like Icouldn't get away.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Our last bad day episode.
Our friend was like you guysneed to assess at the end of who
actually was the bad date.
Was it like you or him?
Because, yeah, I can't rememberwhat story we were talking
about, but they were.
It was one of your stories,meredith, and she was like she
sounds like the bad day.
We friend the whole time.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Yeah, and at that point I was like trying.
I mean he had already asked meif I could do the splits and you
know it was because but Ithought it was because of the
obvious reason and he was likedamn, I've always wanted to be
able to do splits.
And then his favorite show wasbromance and he loved and sing.
So at that point I was likethis guy's gay.
So we're just going to have alittle.
I would love that guy, yeah,but he also he wasn't fun.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Like he was a through , they went disc golfing and he
threw it into a ditch and madeMeredith go get it.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
He didn't want to ruin his shoes.
I know he was.
He was sick in the mud.
Speaker 3 (36:48):
The wanting to do splits.
That's like in the office whenCreed wants to do like one
perfect.
I just want one perfectcartwheel Like I've always
wanted to do the splits.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
Thing for someone to want to do, I know.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
And you think, like you immediately are like ew,
he's being so creepy.
And then all of a sudden you'relike wait, I'm safe here.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Yeah, exactly, this is a safe space, yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Totally, but also like, well, shit, now I'm stuck
on this date and I don't knowhow to get out of it.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
I this is a date story, but one where I couldn't
get away.
I had a boyfriend thatliterally had the stomach bug
and like let me leave his house.
And I'm like, please, for thelove of God, I don't want to be
here for this.
Speaker 3 (37:33):
There's been the other way around, like it should
have been him wanting you toget out.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
I know, and he's like you don't want to take care of
me, and I'm like, no, not at all, nothing to be done.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
You'll be fine.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Yeah, just get it all out.
Oh my gosh, I literally havebad dates that I can think of.
I mean that one is like anaward winner.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
That one is.
I cannot believe the nose Likeit was already so bad.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
Yeah, I've also showed up on dates and the guy's
like 20 years older than likeeverything he claimed.
And so I remember tellingJackie about this and like I was
like this guy is saying he'slike 30 something, but like this
is the photo like from his app.
This is actually what he lookslike.
And we would just like crack upLike I would walk in, like
(38:22):
you've got to be kidding me, andthen we start idiots.
Well then I was like I wonderif he's going to start like
flossing just to show how younghe is, like just doing all these
like young things.
And so then we started beinglike look, look, I'm 30.
Look and like all the thingslike little kids would do.
That's what this like 70 yearold man was like attempting.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
What are they?
How do they expect to justifyit when you get there in person?
Like what happens when youarrive and they're much older?
What, like, what do they say?
Speaker 3 (38:51):
I think they just like want to see what they can
get away with.
I think that we're dumb.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Yeah, I think that showed up on a date with a guy
that like looked like acompletely different person in
his profile picture.
Like she had to like go back onthe date and like be like wait.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
I've also been worried that that's me too.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Like.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
I like always used to make my friends look at my
profile to be, like is this whatI look like?
And like a couple drinks inlike, is this still what it
looks like?
We got to make it honest,because I don't know a lot on
these dates.
Like I don't even really drinkanymore because I just get a
hangover within 30 minutes.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Yes, yeah, Every age, like every year that passes, I
get more hungover Earlier it'slike.
Speaker 3 (39:40):
I get less fun time and more hungover.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
So it's not worth it anymore, but I used to drink so
hard on these dates.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
Like you just go.
You're like, oh, I'll do a bagof soda.
And like you end up with like acareer for them If it's a
decent date, you're smashed bythe end of that.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
Yeah, totally my New York doorman.
The stories they could tell, ohmy gosh.
I mean doorman in generalprobably just see, like the best
I always yes.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
I think about that with cab drivers and driver
drivers all the time, like I betthey have, so they know so much
about so many people's lives.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
Bites in the back of an Uber too.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
Yeah, you have been in fights in the back of an Uber
.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
No, I'm saying like, oh yes, I definitely have.
But like, like, like yourboyfriend's just annoying you
and you went and in the Uber andthen you're like I can't
believe that's what you saidwhen they asked you that
question.
Like it all comes out in theUber.
Maybe I should have been a cabdriver, they just have to deal
with it.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
So it's just like a hobby for me to like eavesdrop I
should have become an.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Uber driver, yeah, I just people like in my space, is
the, you know?
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Yeah yeah, I know, and also like the drunk people
that like fuken your car orworse.
Yeah yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
Maybe we made good choices.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
Yeah, we're not ready to take professions but like if
any of them want to write up,tell all.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
Yes, yeah, oh, I'll be a.
Yes, I'd be a ghost driver forany of the driver I used to
follow this girl that would post.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
She was a teacher and she would always post, like
things that kids have told herin the past.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, thethings that teachers have to
hear about, like, think, like, Ithink all the time Kids child
is telling his teacher about meand Sam.
Yes, I know, oh God.
I mean about me and Jay, I'mlike oh gosh, it's so bad.
(41:40):
They probably think I'm liketerrible.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
No, I don't think I ever told my teacher anything
like maybe, maybe it's like akindergarten, like yeah, but
like I was never like my mom,yeah that's get a load of this
yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
I did one time call my male teacher and the second
grade mom, and it still hauntsme to this day.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
Honestly, that was the most.
Why was that so much moreembarrassing than anything else?
Speaker 1 (42:11):
It really was.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
Kids were like peeing and throwing up in class, but
calling them your teacher, mom,mom, is the worst which is
really so funny that you saythat, because yesterday at
dinner we're running, we'rerunning low on time, but we'll
wrap things up.
My son yesterday I would, wewere like how's your day?
He's for, like how's your day?
And he was like well, so and sowhat their pants?
(42:35):
And was like giving me theupdates on like who what their
pants that day and I was justlike trying so hard not to laugh
because I'm like it's so funnyhow frequent this isn't a four
year old's life that it's a partof the daily report and like an
adult for doing that Like whatis happening, but I was just
like my son's poor teacher is ina literal version of hell.
Speaker 3 (43:00):
My niece has like nicknamed that.
She was like five or six whenshe did this, but like I was
like oh, who's in your classesthis year?
And she was like chase, who hasa crush on me, brian who farted
, who vomited, like all of themwere like some, like Lydia who
vomited, and I was like, oh,like that's how she remembered
(43:21):
people.
I'm like God, that's so toughIf you're Brian.
And then it was, and who fartedwas Brian who farted.
And then she corrected it toBrian who heard me fart.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
So I was like oh, okay.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
Oh wait, no, no, no, that was me.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
He wasn't the one who farted Molly, and she was like
Brian, I was almost married ifyou farted, because in this this
will be our closing story hasnothing to do with bad dates,
but it does have to do withfarting.
I was in the sixth grade, whichis way like the worst possible
time ever to audibly fart inpublic, and this is the same
(44:00):
year that I would like anyway.
We don't have to get intodetails, but we've chronicled a
little bit of my sixth gradejourney.
So I farted in math class andnobody heard it, except for this
one guy, and I don't evenremember what his name was, but
he knew it was me and he tookthe blame.
You guys, it was the mostheroic, chivalrous, chivalrous
(44:25):
thing any man has ever done forme.
Speaker 3 (44:29):
Wait, you don't remember his name.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
No, I remember what he looked like.
I think it's with.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
Mark Huh, I don't know now, but you can send him a
message.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
I hope he hears this.
I think his name is Mark, butyeah, I mean, he saw the fear in
my eyes and he said you knowwhat, I'm taking this one.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
I know he volunteered .
Speaker 1 (44:53):
I think someone was like who farted and he was like
it was me.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
I think, but like I feel, like no one needed to
answer like he.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
His third boys are wild.
They like get points forfarting in class.
Speaker 3 (45:08):
Yeah, you probably did a massal it honestly.
Maybe I don't know it was likea little.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
It was like a little I don't know.
No one was like oh, cool mark.
It was like it was like oh haha.
But if it was me, you guys.
I would have been just likemade fun of for having a really
book bag, Like you know, youwould have been the girl with
the wolf.
For make it for my dad showingup with trees in the truck and
carline the girl that with thewheelie book bag that farted in
(45:34):
who farted.
Speaker 3 (45:36):
Yeah, that's a long nickname.
Sixth grade is like when you'retrying to start, like I feel.
Like when you go into sixthgrade you don't realize, you
think it's just going to be likeelementary school, but then you
get there and like, the eighthgraders are there looking like
women, they got big boobs.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Yes, yes, One of my nieces and this was the early
2000s man People were wearingthongs outside of their jeans.
It was wild.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
Yeah, juicy on there, but my niece went to sixth
grade, like this year, and shewas like they're guys with
mustaches.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
You're like there was a guy with a beard at my school
and we all secretly call himdad.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
Oh no, oh, that's mean I know, I know, but it was
like as a girl.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
It was like, oh gosh, he's old.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
Yeah, I remember one time asking a guy on the bus
what do you want?
He was like we're in seventhgrade and he was in sixth,
because it's like that age where, like, some people are still
kids, and summer and I don'tknow.
We were like, what are youasking for for Christmas?
He was like toys.
And we were like, oh, we hadcrossed over.
And he was.
We were like, oh, cool, yeah,you're still a child.
(46:43):
It was it's such a strange age.
And then he wheeled off withyour back and I was like bye, I
actually just wrote it into thesunset, okay, um, well, this was
amazing.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Yeah, thank you again .
Speaker 1 (47:01):
I laughed so much.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
Oh my God, it was so fun.
Speaker 3 (47:05):
I hope, uh, I hope it goes down in bad date history
so well you can read it.
Speaker 2 (47:12):
I'm assuming it'll bring out a lot of other people
being like wait a minute my nosewas slurped into a serial
problem.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
I wonder maybe that guy's?
Still doing it today?
I don't know.
I got a, I would.
I would love to know, it mightbe like his thing.
Yeah, his calling card.
He has like a nose thing, yeah,the wet nose band.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Ew, oh my gosh.
Well, um, don't forget tofollow Brooke.
She is awesome.
I obviously, Meredith, you werelike one of the people which I
feel like this is a big deal,that like if your sister sends
you someone is like you need tofollow her.
Yeah, so, um, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
Thank you, guys so much for having us.
This was so fun.
Love to really go haunting taleyes, oh my gosh, thank you,
this will be out, this will beout, um, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Thanksgiving week, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Yes, and we will sign off bysaying see you next Tuesday.
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