June 7, 2024 • 62 mins
Managing thick hair is no small feat, and we've got some hilarious stories to prove it! Join us for a lively chat that starts with some humor around Pride Month and quirky profile pictures, but swiftly transitions into relatable hair woes and amusing anecdotes. However, the episode takes a serious turn as we tackle the overuse of the term "trauma," its impact on genuine experiences, and the importance of trauma-informed teaching.
The conversation deepens as we explore the evolving understanding of trauma and autism diagnoses over the past two decades. We share personal stories and insights into how these diagnoses have been validated and the changes in terminology, such as the removal of Asperger's. The discussion also reflects on the stigma surrounding autism and learning disabilities and the improvements in diagnostic tools and awareness today. Along the way, we delve into the emotional and complex family situations involving accusations of abuse, addressing immediate reactions, justice, and societal views on punishing sexual predators.
Online negativity versus real-world kindness—there’s a stark difference, and we have the anecdotes to prove it. This episode wraps up with a thoughtful discussion on repeated traumatic experiences, exposure therapy, and the ever-growing toxicity of online environments. We share a hopeful outlook on younger generations distancing themselves from these toxic spaces and end with exciting plans to enhance listener engagement through social media and email. Don't miss out on our unique sign-off and the chance to connect with us directly!
The conversation deepens as we explore the evolving understanding of trauma and autism diagnoses over the past two decades. We share personal stories and insights into how these diagnoses have been validated and the changes in terminology, such as the removal of Asperger's. The discussion also reflects on the stigma surrounding autism and learning disabilities and the improvements in diagnostic tools and awareness today. Along the way, we delve into the emotional and complex family situations involving accusations of abuse, addressing immediate reactions, justice, and societal views on punishing sexual predators.
Online negativity versus real-world kindness—there’s a stark difference, and we have the anecdotes to prove it. This episode wraps up with a thoughtful discussion on repeated traumatic experiences, exposure therapy, and the ever-growing toxicity of online environments. We share a hopeful outlook on younger generations distancing themselves from these toxic spaces and end with exciting plans to enhance listener engagement through social media and email. Don't miss out on our unique sign-off and the chance to connect with us directly!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
hey, liz hey rachel first part of horse poop hey hey
, happy pride.
Yeah, oh, I forgot, I meant tochange my uh.
Uh, I went to, uh, I was goingto change my profile picture.
(00:25):
One of my girls oh, you knowher um, kristen from the gorge,
um, the, they're both short.
I'm like I don't know how toexplain it redhead, freckly kind
of yeah, um, she changed her uhprofile picture which I thought
(00:48):
was hysterical um to saywishing all the homophobes a
super uncomfortable month.
I was like I kind of I'm gonnasteal that.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
That's kind of great, oh my god, I love it I saved it
.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
I forgot.
I haven't changed it yet, but Imay uh, put that on there,
because it's like you guys don'tneed to hate anyone.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
That's funny, yeah, but I thought it was kind of
great your hair looks good it's.
You know this is doing nothingto it yeah I have so much hair,
I have so fucking much hair.
Um, the girl that cut it, Imean she did a good job with the
cut, like it's even yeah, ifthat makes sense, but she
(01:33):
doesn't know how to cut my hair.
Yeah, um, so I, I need lesshair.
And yeah, um, yeah, so it'schallenging.
There's a girl that works there, that's very young, that I used
to work with at the unnamedplace, um, and she, uh, she's
like, let me cut it.
You can watch in a mirror.
(01:54):
And I'm like, dude, I do nottrust you, I'm so sorry.
And she's like, no, but I cando a good job.
And I'm like, nah, I can't doit.
But I'm at the point where I'mgonna probably just shave the
bottom, like I thought aboutlike, yeah, shaving like from
here down, yep, just to get ridof some of the hair.
Yeah, because I I have so muchhair.
(02:18):
And I'm not complaining becauseyou know I could be bald, but
sometimes I just wish I had less.
Hello, I'm bald.
You know what?
I forgot what your speaker?
Yeah, I'm like I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I'm gonna sound as tinny as you you sound like
you're in a tunnel.
I know I'm gonna sound as tinnyas you on this episode because
I forgot to plug in my fuckingmic bullshit.
So what's you on this?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
episode because I forgot to plug in my fucking mic
Bullshit.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
So what's going on this week?
Oh, trauma.
Get in, that's what we weregoing to get in.
I'm a get in, oh dear God.
Well, it has multiple meanings,right?
I?
know, Like our defined this andthen our how-to are kind of both
like the same thing, because Iguess we, when you and I were
(03:11):
talking about it a little bit,it was plug your mic in.
I have a couple thoughts onthis.
I will.
Okay, sorry listeners, sorry toour foreign listeners and the
chickens, we're fixing it rightnow.
Oh, anyway, what are we talkingabout?
(03:33):
Promenade and meaning I, I havea couple meetings.
My first one is that hello, howare you much?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
better, much better sleepless in seattle.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
What are you calling for?
Okay, sorry about that, but I Ithink I have two separate
definitions for it.
So the first one is sort oflike okay, I feel as though the
word trauma has been overused.
It is kind of thrown aroundquite flippantly and is sort of
become like a mantra, slash, uh,I don't know cross to bear kind
(04:12):
of over zealously claimed by alot of people, unnecessarily so,
and so I feel like that is onepart of it.
Um, I also think that, yes,most people are traumatized by
things um and by world eventsand you know, um relationships
(04:39):
and humanity and just being ahuman.
There are things that do causeand create actual trauma for
sure but I think that it, likethe way in which we're using the
word, has almost beencompletely overtaken in a way
that well, I think it's a lottrivialized.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Yes, by how many times and how many people use
that word, um, and people arejust like whatever well, it's
sort of abusing the word, theterm, yeah, yeah, for what it
was intended to mean.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Sure, I agree with that.
But in that same sense though,I also just wrote an article and
I know they're not going topublish it because it's right
Inflammatory about trauma,informed teaching.
If you're teaching and youdon't understand that there are
people that are traumatized andyou're kind of behind the eight
ball, you've you've missed theassignment entirely because most
(05:40):
you know most young kids aregoing through their things and
they're having a hard time andthey're dealing with things that
are challenging.
Covid was challenging for mostkids and if you're not a teacher
that you know thinks about itin those terms that yeah, they
missed some learning, um, theydidn't have social skills.
(06:00):
You know all of those thingsand you're you're entirely
missing the bucket.
But overusing the term for justchallenging times as a human
and being an adult andstruggling through puberty and
all of those things, and sayingthat that's trauma is not the
yeah the thing, I agree withthat um so define this.
(06:26):
What is Trump?
Are we gonna?
I don't know.
Are we gonna talk about yourweek?
I don't know.
Is your, your side hustle,traumatizing my side hustle.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Which one?
What I mean?
The truck, yes, uh, okay, so Imean, yeah, I mean it.
I don't think it wastraumatizing, it was exhausting
and frustrating.
I think that is the correctword, correct words for it.
(07:04):
So our food truck?
Um, we had to.
So this is so stupid.
But the city, um, or state hasdecided that every six months or
so, we're going to update somelaws on food trucks and food
trucks and make morerequirements, which is totally
(07:27):
bogus.
Um, but now they're makingeverybody who has a griddle or
has any type of oil or anythinglike that, which I can see
having a fire suppression systemif you have um like fryers, um,
or you know something like deep, like deep frying french fries.
(07:48):
Yeah, like deep frying stuff inyour truck, whatever, um.
So I can see that maybe thatwould be something you would
want to do, but we produceminimal grease.
I mean minimal um.
All we do is heat up our stuffthat has been previously cooked.
I mean, our eggs and potatoesare rewarmed, which eggs are
(08:13):
cooked on the griddle, but eggsdon't produce grease.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Um and so anyway, it doesn't matter neither here nor
there.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
They're making every food truck that cooks anything
in the food truck, um, put afire suppression system in.
So we were like, well shit.
So we looked up, called acouple places 12 grand.
I'm like hell to the no wellwhat?
Speaker 2 (08:37):
what is the?
What are the defining like?
How do they define a firesuppression system?
What is what does that have tomean for a food truck sprinklers
fire alarm by a professional.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
You cannot, you, you cannot install it yourself, um,
there has to be cert.
It has to be a certified fireinspection place that has to
install it.
Um, and so what's funny aboutthis is you can run propane and
not have electrical.
A fire suppression system isnot going to work unless it's
(09:08):
connected to electrical.
So it's basically the stupidestrule ever.
And the lady from the healthdepartment she's the kindest
person actually.
Anytime I have a question, Icall her.
She's on it, she knows her shitand she knows what the rules
are and everything.
And she said I just don'tunderstand this.
And she said they're literallyputting out of business.
(09:32):
Yes, so somebody at the top yeah, because of the top is got a
restaurant and that's threatenedby it or something and food
trucks are hurting theirbusiness yeah, that's just the
silliest thing, because foodtrucks are mobile, we're going
around from place to place, umrestaurants um are totally
(09:52):
different animal anyway, doesn'tmatter so we decided we are
going to not have an open flameanymore, we are going to go all
electric.
So we decided to do that, andso we had to buy some new
equipment, take out the griddleum do a bunch of stuff.
It's going to change everything, including, probably, how
(10:13):
things taste.
I don't know um, we haven'ttotally figured all that out yet
, but we have to work tomorrownight, so we're gonna.
Tomorrow night will be ourfinal, final thing.
But I had um roommate three'sboyfriend and roommate two's
boyfriend over on saturday tohelp us because we got this new
(10:35):
fridge and it literally is waslike 400 pounds and I was like
I'm not getting that in the foodtruck with you, we'll literally
kill each other, um, and sothey came over and helped us, um
, put all this stuff in, and nowwe've realized that it doesn't
work the way it is, so we'rehaving to move it again, but all
(10:56):
the electrical's done,everything is running as it
should, so hopefully we'll befine.
Um, but it's been a wholeordeal just because we are
people who follow the rules.
Okay, there's so many questionsand it's so stupid, but we do.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
We follow everyone, okay but I have a quick question
sure can't you just get afucking fire extinguisher
installed by a professional?
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Nope Does not work.
It has to be a suppressionsystem.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
We have a fire suppression system.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
We have fire extinguishers in the truck.
Those are required.
Those are required that is afire suppression system.
Well, it's not, according toOklahoma state laws.
State laws for health.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
You need to write your congress.
You guys actually have a.
Really you have a decent guythere in oklahoma, the one I
think I sent you the reel of him.
He's actually good.
You should support him.
Um, he was talking about the uhtrans kid that got killed or
died in schools and he was likeI'm sorry, you guys needed to
(12:08):
mandate, report this becauseit's a hate crime and if you
know what I mean, he was justbeing well, but if you if you go
back and read that entire story.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Um, it definitely turned out not to be.
I mean, there was some bullyinggoing on, but that is oh 100
it's not they didn't kill her,it was it was a.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
It was obviously a after the fact yes, but no again
.
He was just yelling and harpingabout.
Well, if it is a hate crime,you have to mandate your
mandated reporter.
There were incidents leading upto that sure that they did not
report.
That's what he was coming downon them for and I was like yes
that should have been wellreported in advance so you know
(12:50):
there was someone looking outfor them.
I don't know why people, thehate is so real and it's so
stupid, it's so stupid likewe're too.
we're too comfortable.
This is why the word traumacomes up all the time.
We are too comfortable, we haveenough.
Why the word trauma comes upall the time.
We are too comfortable, we haveenough food, we have housing.
Right, I mean like most peopleI'm talking about in terms of
(13:10):
overusing or abusing the termtrauma.
They're just saying thatbecause they are too comfortable
, like I'm sorry, real traumawould be having to go outside to
use the restroom every day therestroom every day.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
So the actual definition of trauma is a deeply
distressing or disturbingexperience.
An example is like a personaltrauma would be like the death
of a child.
It's emotional shock followinga stressful event or physical
injury which may be associatedwith physical shock and
sometimes lead to leads tolong-term neurosis, um, and the
(13:50):
event is relived with all theaccompanying trauma.
Um, so it could be that inmedicine is such as um, a
rupture of the diaphragm causedby blunt trauma.
So there's trauma to the body,obviously medical things.
So there's different, there'sdifferent.
(14:12):
You know, emotional trauma isan experience that makes you
feel unsafe or helpless.
Some trauma can be physical,like such as a car accident or a
physical assault, but you donot have to sustain a physical
(14:33):
injury to experience emotionaltrauma.
Yeah, so there's, you know itis a very wide, I would say it's
broad it's broad definition,yes, very broad definition.
Um.
So I would say we experiencedtrauma.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
I mean to, to put it lightly, safe to say.
To put it lightly, I would like, um, yeah, I mean well, and
it's not just that we say that,like I've had plenty of there's
therapists physicalprofessionals yes, um normal,
(15:23):
everyday people go what the fuckyou were trying?
that is trauma.
So we all can confirm, yes, canconfirm, can confirm um
multiple sources.
I didn't just do my ownresearch on this.
Um yeah, no, it was well, and Ithink we both had to come to
(15:43):
the realization that we did infact experience trauma, right?
It was never talked about atthe time no I mean, this was not
a thing, nope, um.
So it is relatively new to bothof us and I do feel as though,
(16:03):
like the, the abuse or themisuse of the term, the overuse
maybe is a better way to say theoveruse of the term does
trivialize it.
Um, yes, and it's, let's say,even though it's a broad
definition, overusing it.
Um, minimizes its significancewhen there actually is trauma.
So if you are experience it andyou just say that it kind of
(16:26):
minimalizes someone's experiencewho actually did have, sure,
post-traumatic stress disorder?
Um, yes, and I I think there'sgood reasons for that too,
meaning why the explosion of ithas happened in the last you
know what 15, 20 years?
Um, but also has autisticdiagnosis exploded in the last
(16:50):
15, 20 years?
That's because we now know howto identify it.
Therefore, we are diagnosingproperly true.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
So roommate, one thinks she's autistic.
She has not yet got tested um,but she is.
She asked me why didn't we gettested?
Speaker 2 (17:08):
She get tested for that Number one.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
I never thought she was autistic, because when we
were raising our children,autism was like so far out there
.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Well, it is a spectrum, but yeah, actually so
they've, but yeah, actually.
So they've removed, honestly,they've removed a lot of these
definitions.
So like as burgers um, I'mtrying to think of the other one
that's really super common likeas burgers and like even
touret's, almost, even thoughthat's a specific diagnosis, but
(17:45):
a lot of the fringe ones areall umbrellaed under autism now.
So you could have autism andhave a like an autism diagnosis
and really only have likecomplex PTSD and ADHD and those
(18:05):
are specific.
But because everything is nowbeing kind of umbrellaed under
autistic diagnosis, being ageneral term for like trauma or
stress or whatever right, andit's on a spectrum Like I could
be stressed out when I wake upin the morning because I have a
long day, but I could also bestressed out because I was just
in a car accident.
(18:25):
So the broader definition forautism now kind of encompasses
so many like basic kind ofdevelopmental and emotional and
other disorders, or we could say, you know, learning challenges
or disability, disabilities ordifficulties.
(18:48):
So it kind of is so broad nowthat it's like, yeah, anyone can
, but it wasn't it wasn'tsomething that people even
thought tested for.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
A lot of people had any, you know, back then, and
there wasn't even testing for it.
They didn't even know how totest for it, and so I was like,
well, I never, you know, evensuspected that you had anything
wrong with you, because thepeople that had autism back
whenever the kids were littlewere like, or that they had
(19:18):
diagnosed with it, were likenonverbal or you know the
extremes, and so, um, all thesesymptoms that they're saying now
is due to autism is, um, muchdifferent than what they said
right now, 20-25 years ago.
So, right, um, it's just allscience changing and not
(19:39):
changing, but science, um,figuring the study more stuff
out yeah and um.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I also want to say, or add to that, that when our
kids were little so again we'retalking 20 years ago um, they
there was also a stigma withsure autism diagnosis or
learning disability theterminology that they were using
then put a stigma on kids where, like, special needs was
(20:12):
considered.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
You know there was a stigma yeah, adhd, which is so
diagnosed now, but like, yeah,it was like only diagnosed to
kids who you know were couldn'tsit still for a minute in school
, or you know?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
yeah, Can you tell I'm eating?
I keep turning off my mic CauseI don't want to chew into the
microphone, Cause I I appreciatethat, I know.
I was like I'm starving though,so I was like I need to eat
something.
Um, uh, I'm done in a second.
I was like I just needed tolike get a bite in me, cause I
was like getting hangry.
Um, the other thing that I waslistening to about autism
(20:55):
diagnosis, like so one, they'reexploding a little bit more, but
that's just because we'veidentified how to diagnose a bit
better and and we've alsoumbrellaed it under quite a few
different like factors and youknow pointers in which we do
that.
We're also testing morefrequently when it's recommended
, right, but the statistics onlike ADHD and autism used to be
(21:18):
really high for boys.
So it was like ADHD was almostconsidered like a boy, like a
young male kind of dominateddisorder, because they just
started like it's like marfansyndrome.
Marfan syndrome didn't have agenetic test.
Back in the day they had avisual verification of marfan
(21:40):
syndrome, so they just look atyou and be like, oh, you got big
earlobes and you got a sunkenchest, small, small shoulders
and a large nose.
You have marfans.
Like there was no clinical wayto confirm that you had marfan
syndrome and neither is therehas there been really definitive
like diagnosis tools for autismor any of its shoot-offs and
(22:02):
you know, umbrella terms catchall underneath that until now.
But now that they do have theseterms defined, they're finding
that it's just as common ingirls as it is in boys.
But because of the way that wetreat boys and girls differently
when they're growing up, it hadbeen considered previously just
a boys like disorder.
(22:23):
So if they're active, likedisorder.
So if they're active, whichmost boys are, I mean your kids,
all were active like boys, eventhough they were all girls.
But because boys arehyperactive, then it was just
automatically assigned to themLike oh, they just have too much
energy, they must have ADHD,let's medicate them and calm
them down, which is not the case.
(22:45):
So it presents differently ingirls and boys.
Now that we know that, girlsare getting more and more
diagnosed with it because theirspresents differently than boys.
Girls, you know, tend to do notactive things, but they zone
out, they daydream, they, youknow, do all these other things.
So they're presenteddifferently.
But now that we know that, thenthere's the diagnosis in girls
is going sky high.
(23:05):
It's not that there's more ofit, we just know how to better
diagnose it.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Anyway, this all goes back to trauma somehow, um, so,
yeah, so uh, when we, when Iwas, that was basically going
off of what I was talking withroommate one about and how,
because I mean she had somepretty trauma things that
(23:32):
happened to her that I justlearned about this week when she
was young, by a family member.
I use the term family veryloosely.
Let me say that, um, it isfamily by blood, but yeah,
that's about it and this personwill never, um, I will never see
(23:57):
this person again um because hedid things to my daughter that
are insane, but I just found outUnforgivable.
Unforgivable and criminal.
Criminal, absolutely.
We have no way of proving anyof this, because it's a he said.
(24:17):
She said at this point, unlesswe can get some more of his,
because I believe there'smultiple people that he abused.
Now Victims, victims yes,victims would be the right word
Survivors is the better one.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
There's more collaboration.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
There's probably nothing we can do legally right
now which killed me as a motherto be honest.
Frustrating at the minimum,yeah, frustrating at the very
minimum.
Um, so anyway, um, but sheexperienced that trauma when she
was like six and um, dear god,uh, that would be a trauma, yeah
(25:01):
, um 100.
So a physical, a physicaltrauma, um, but we, uh, all my
kids, have experienced some sortof trauma and you know, I was
like it's.
I struggle with that so muchbecause our trauma that we were
raised with was so um different.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
It was different trauma, but even not different,
but different environment yeah,and even in so, but you have to
understand that, like, like youjust described in the definition
, even a physical trauma like acar accident still has mental
and emotional traumaticrepercussions to it.
(25:45):
So there's elements of even justa physical you know altercation
that are mental and emotionalbecause of either their lasting
effects or how you got into thephysical situation to begin with
.
Or, you know, mom, guilt fordid I miss something?
Right?
All of that goes into it,bleeds out, leaks out, you know,
(26:08):
into all the other areas,because it can become
emotionally trauma, traumatizing, even if it was physical,
because of how you respond tothe same situations.
Or, right, our human brainslook at why it happened and we
have to reason that there'ssomething we did, didn't do,
(26:29):
said, didn't say, that caused ormade it worse or better or
could have avoided because ofthe physical thing.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
But that is emotional and um, spiritually and all of
those you know, dependent Ithink now there's um, and it
wasn't, it wasn't a thing manyyears ago, but now there is a
definition for religious trauma.
Um, and religious trauma iswhat we experience, as well as
(26:58):
physical and emotional.
We experience sexual trifecta,um, yes, all of financial, but
religious uh trauma definitionis it's when a person occurs,
when a person's religiousexperience is stressful, yep,
degrading, yep, uh, dangerous,uh-huh, abusive or or damaging,
(27:23):
right, okay, so check all thebox, check all of those boxes,
um, and that, I believe, takesit, should, should, if you're
experiencing those types ofthings, should take that
religion or place out of therealm of religion, like it
(27:48):
should not be a religion anymore.
If they're causing that kind ofstuff, um, religion, um, which
I'm totally against religionanymore.
I, I have no um, I thinkorganized religion, I hate it.
Um, I think you can believewhatever you want to believe
without religion and um,religion is just a lot of people
(28:13):
use it because a copingmechanism, uh yes, a coping
mechanism.
It's a crutch.
It can be something where theyfind friends.
You know there's there's a lotof reasons that people go to
religion, but I don't knowthere's there's a lot of reasons
that people go to religion, butI don't necessarily think that
there's a right religion outthere well, I think about it now
(28:35):
.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
I think from a 20 000 foot viewpoint as um.
Well, some people use food as acoping mechanism, sure to get
through their day and to makelife more enjoyable for them.
Some people use food as acoping mechanism to get through
their day and to make life moreenjoyable for them.
Some people use alcohol, somepeople use drugs or any kind of
other mind altering substance orright, and you can say food is
(28:58):
mind altering substance on manydifferent levels.
So people use things to helpthem through this slow march to
death.
I'm not ever going to judgeanyone for doing any of those
things, but you get to make thechoices and you get to choose
how you do them.
But if that, whatever it is,your coping mechanism bleeds
(29:20):
over into other areas of yourlife, harms other people or
impinges on people's individualright to choose what they allow
into their lives or not rightinto that choice, then I have a
problem with it.
And religion often does that.
Yeah, it often bleeds over andpushes.
You know, well, it's like, um,my friends that have gone sober,
(29:44):
you know what.
Good for you, happy, you Happy.
I mean, yes, go for it.
If that makes you happy,fucking do it.
But don't yell at me about if Ihave drinks, that I'm doing the
wrong thing.
And it's the same thing withreligion.
Or vegans, great, you do you.
You love veggies?
Fucking nail it.
(30:04):
You know, go for for it.
But don't tell me that Ishouldn't be eating meat because
, right, we only have so muchcontrol and the control we have
is one their choices we make.
And then how we react to otherpeople's choices, um, yeah, and,
and that's it.
And you shouldn't really have adesire to, like, reach over and
tell someone how they shouldchoose or what they want.
(30:26):
Yeah, um, because that's notyour choice.
You can choose how you react tosomeone doing that, and our
reaction is fuck off, right, Imean really, oh, and that goes
for religion, like you weresaying.
You know, do whatever you needto do to cope.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
No, if if you want religion, that is great and that
is your choice.
But when you start tellingother people they're doing the
wrong thing because they're notdoing what you're doing, that's
when it's a problem absolutelythat's, yeah, that's exactly the
same same as exactly what youjust said.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
So so and I think that that gets almost Liz, you
might've nailed it, because thatgets almost deeper into like so
then the trauma startshappening, and I'm talking about
spiritual, emotional, physical,sexual right, psychological.
All of that happens when you'renot allowed to make a choice
(31:24):
and you're forced into asituation, or when you can't,
you don't have the resources tomake a choice, or when someone
takes that choice away from youand then you're left feeling
helpless.
The definition you read wasfeeling helpless or out of
control, right, and so traumaoccurs at the point at which
(31:48):
that choice is taken away fromyou and or even if you didn't
have it in the first place, likea young child, they really
didn't have a choice about that.
Um and and it was taken awayfrom them.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Well, yeah, same with us growing up, right?
You know we didn't have achoice.
We had to do this, we had to beinvolved.
It wasn't a choice, right?
I think now, all of theknowledge that I know now,
(32:22):
versus, like, if I was in mom'shouse I'd have been kicked out
at like 11, I know I mean, oh,this is crazy oh I actually
nature, but no, you actuallyasked mom this week, last week
(32:53):
this week last week with sorryyanni, when this stuff about my
daughter came out, um, withinour family, uh, and her
therapist, um, anyway, I calledmy mom because, you know, rachel
came out to my mom immediately.
No, I didn't, you know, notimmediately rachel or my mom
found out about rachel'ssituation from me.
(33:13):
Yes, um, but I asked my mom,like her reaction, because she
had this instant, like we'regoing to the police, we're doing
this, like she, literally, andI had never seen her I don't
think ever like take charge orlike um, be so a hundred percent
(33:43):
, like on board with believingat number one and putting the
church and the religion asideinstantly.
She just like was, like youknow, we're going for blood
instantly, right, do you thinkthat?
No, so I asked her because, youknow, dealing with the stuff
(34:06):
with my daughter, um, I said,what was your first reaction?
And she goes, oh, he did it.
And she said, and like we weregoing to like, uh, get some
justice.
And I was like, okay, I mean, I, I feel the same way.
(34:26):
I know there's not a statue oflimitations On that kind of
stuff.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
There might be, on murder, a statue of limitations
there might be on murder.
Is there Murder?
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Yeah, no, that's what I thought.
But I'm'm like, but that's myinstant thought was I can, I'm
going to.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
I can help you.
I can help you with getting ridof the body kill somebody we
can't really talk about thisbecause that was my first
thought.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
And then, of course, she told her dad.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Her dad believed it, instantly said oh my gosh if
shithead we're talking aboutever dies, we have to scratch
this from the record.
But you know what?
I'm sorry.
I think that there is a few,there are several instances in
(35:28):
humanity where deranged andhorrible death you know means of
death are absolutely worthy ofsome people, I agree.
And I think that we as a societycan very, very easily determine
(35:51):
that I think our criminalcriminal, you know, prison
industrial complex in thiscountry is out of fucking
control.
And if you did some drugs, youknow, or you had a hard time and
you get, you know, put in, youknow jail and you ruin you you
know your whole life and it'snever the same.
You know that's some fucked upshit.
I do not believe in that at all.
I, however, believe that, youknow, in the 1800s, when we were
(36:15):
shooting people, that fuckingkilled, you know, small children
, yeah, I fucking thinkeverybody in our society would
be on board with that, and thesetype of people as well.
Like that, I think sexualpredators, yeah, sexual
predators, children, I mean,we're talking about children
(36:35):
that I get it, that are, and I'mgonna get so much flack sent
back to me for this, but like wehave a sort of a legal limit of
an adult definition.
It's legal, it's nothing else.
It's a legal definition of anadult allowed to make decisions
at the age of 18.
(36:56):
You know, in some states forlike, uh, substances like
tobacco, um, you know, firearms,um, all these things, rent a
car, um, driver's license, um,all fishing license and there's
different age limits that arelegal, legally placed boundaries
of where you're a child or notsure does that mean that anyone
(37:17):
who whoops um, I didn't realizeyou were 17, I'm 19 and oh shit,
we had sex should be, uh,criminalized and prosecuted and
ruin his life over that him orher?
no, I absolutely think it'scircumstantially based.
But if you're a, you know,grown adult man, meaning you
(37:38):
know you're over the age of 25,30 and you are are being a
predator on single digit humanbeings who don't have agency,
are not developed enough, youknow to even understand what
that term means then yeah, youshould die.
You should not, absolutely.
(37:58):
I mean, at the very least,chemical castration is an option
.
Just fucking cut the balls off.
Um, you know, for females, samething if they're predators and
there are female predators,they're much less common, but
there are and also that legal 18age limit should not extend to
those with limited mentalcapacity.
(38:19):
If you are mentally for surenot 18, even though you're
legally 18, you can still bepredated.
You know, you can still have apredator come after you and that
is still as bad as you knowabsolutely because they are not
(38:39):
of the mental capacity to beable to make those decisions for
themselves.
And that's really what the youknow.
The legal ease of it is fuckingbullshit.
Um, because I think as asociety, there's hardly well,
other than the predatorsthemselves, hardly anyone who
would disagree with a fuckingshooting squad for someone who,
(39:06):
you know, touches a six-year-oldchild, uh, period, and I think
there'd be plenty of fuckingpeople that would do that.
Um, and I think most of oursociety would be absolutely fine
with that, and I also thinkthat most of our society would
be fine well, the problem withthese people is they're gonna do
it.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
Which ones?
Oh, absolutely it's a it's a,it's not, it's a sickness in
their head.
Yeah, that cannot be cured it'sjust like mental.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
It's just like mental illness.
It is exactly the same thing,and you're only going to fix it
again.
There's chemical castration, um, and, and, or, you know,
separate yourself from society.
There's a whole island, um,fuck, where is it?
I need to look it up real quick.
There's a whole island of childsexual predators.
(39:55):
And guess what?
They all live on an island forthe very fucking reason because
they know that themselves.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
That's literally true there is, this island exists.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Yes, special Commitment Center in the state
of Washington, oh no, yeah.
So Washington, mcneil Island,there's 214 dangerous sexual
predator, violent predators andthey self-com commit.
I believe, okay, it's afacility, but I believe that
(40:33):
there it's a special commitmentso they have to self put them in
there.
Like they have to put.
They put themselves in there,like I need to be there because
otherwise I will sexually Yep,yep and um, it is a whole entire
thing.
So they know, yeah, theyfucking know, right, and it's
(40:56):
just like ours.
You know, we're gonna likeprotect a fucking fetus, yeah,
but we're not, not our own,we're not gonna protect that are
.
Yeah, that are actual human yeahand uh, I have a new name for
one of the supreme courtjustices it's uterus aceto,
(41:18):
uterus aceto, because he can'tcontrol his wife's uterus, so
he's gonna try and control everyother woman in the fucking
country's.
Uterus, uterus aceto, fuckingasshole.
But yeah, that is mind-blowingthat we will put more laws in
place to protect an unborntissue inside of a full-grown
(41:43):
woman's body, but we will notprotect anything full grown
woman's body, but we will notprotect anything after it comes
out of her womb.
Because then right, yeah, it'sjust, it's so mind-blowing it's
mind-blowing.
Yeah, I 100 so trauma, back toher topic.
Oh, by the way, you have to doa lot to do with trauma.
(42:05):
It's all trauma.
You have to do a sign off today, um, but yeah, okay, we should.
Well, we should wrap up thetopic for a minute here but then
uh, we have to do our wins andfails and also our your sign off
, which I'm looking forward to.
You have one right did you letrandy do it?
Speaker 1 (42:27):
no, I don't have one right.
Did you let Randy do it?
Speaker 2 (42:30):
No, I don't have one, what I just have one.
Okay, I'm going to, I'm goingto text you on.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
I mean, I have a stupid one that I heard when I
was growing up.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Okay Well, don't do it, don't do it yet.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Well, I won't, okay, but anyway, um, so wrap it up.
Yeah, so wrap it up.
Wrapping it up, um, I I thinkthe best thing to do if you have
experienced trauma so that'swhere we need to go from there
(43:10):
is you need to not isolateyourself.
I think, being around peopleseek therapy if you need it.
There's a lot of different waysyou can deal with trauma,
because a lot of people havetrauma um and doing I'm sorry,
(43:39):
I'm laughing, I cannot, uh,concentrate, just so you guys
just you guys know I'm sendingher unhinged sign-offs right now
.
Yes, yes off right now.
(44:00):
Yes, yes, um, but yeah, try notto.
This is the other thing.
Try not to find um like go downa trail of alcohol or drugs or
something like that, because orpain pills, you know, things
like that make things feelbetter momentarily, but they're
not going to help you deal withthe trauma.
Um, also, like I said, hangaround friends, but hang around
supportive people.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
It's a lot more about finding community.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
Yes, people who are supportive of you, and not, um,
not just anybody.
You want to.
You want to be, hang around,spend your time with people who
love you.
Anyway, I think exercise ishuge.
Well, that's a mentalsimulation right.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
So if you're in your head that's what I mean, yeah,
but if you're in your head aboutand and you can spiral, right,
that's a thing like you startspiraling and go.
Okay, um, you know, that's allyou can.
A lot of brains work like that,where we tend to focus on the
negative, but focusing on, likeenergy or exercise is going to
(45:09):
take your brain off the brain.
The brain's uh focus ontosomething positive instead of
something negative.
Now there's something to besaid about using drugs, drugs
and alcohol responsibly.
Okay, um, I don't, uh encourageirresponsible drug and alcohol
(45:37):
abuse.
Um, but they just approved thefda is about to approve mdma for
therapeutic use.
Now, um, who was doing a bunchof drugs experimentally in their
traumatic therapy, high stagesof re rehabilitation?
(46:00):
Right, I was.
I did a ton of experimentaldrugs, um, but I was doing
really intensive therapy at thesame time.
Well, that fucking helped, andso I can stand there and go.
Yes, so don't like, don't putdown, like all those drugs that
I researched.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
No, but I mean.
What I'm talking about is whereyou're turning to alcohol and
becoming an alcoholic.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
Right, as a coping mechanism, it's just like
joining a cult.
It's just yes.
Yes, I understand that, but Ijust wanted to clarify that
because it was like no, if youneed something to relax, unwind,
yes't abuse it.
Yes, substance abuse is notwhat we're saying here.
Yes, right, there are otheroutlets and that could be
dancing, that could be surfing,that could be playing volleyball
(46:44):
, that could be all the thingsyou do that could be overworking
yourself, so you don't have tothink about it.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
Yep, no, that has been my vice and I've used it to
my demise at times, because Istay busy, because then your
brain cannot think and rememberthe trauma and deal with the
trauma.
So staying busy.
But as I've gotten older, Itake days off and I, you know,
(47:18):
make things or make space to dothings for myself.
So that definitely helps a lot.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Well, the term self-care again.
I think this goes back to theself-care thing.
Like it's an industry now, likeyou know what, don't worry
about what you're doing, justmake sure you feel.
Okay, that's it.
Like there's too much money ontherapy there, right, and yes,
people do need therapy and thereare traumatic events.
But get the fuck outside and godo something.
Like there are, like there's abalance, but it is an industry
(47:48):
and we have to understand that.
Everything follow the money,follow the money.
Yeah, therapy is a huge fuckingindustry and you know what?
I think most people should bein therapy at some point in
their lives for sure.
But guess what, don't overobsess about that, don't over
obsess about self-care.
If you want to do something, godo it.
Like, make your life to whereyou can physically do it.
If you need help, go get help.
If you, if you need to cope fora little bit and you know it's
(48:11):
temporary cope, but get throughit have friends around you, have
family around you that aregoing to be a feedback or a
mirror source to tell you, hey,this is becoming a problem and
you guys have done that for metoo, like you've been like this
is really shitty.
You're having a problem.
You need to fucking fix it.
And guess what that's?
That's when you go, okay, Igotta pull my big girl fucking
pants up, you know, and startdoing a little bit better about
what I'm doing, cause obviouslyit's not working Right.
(48:33):
So I feel like that is a youknow, but if you don't have that
system around you which noteveryone does, but then it's
like okay, well, you know, maybeyou enjoy fishing, so go out
and find a fucking group offishermen that just want to
fudge.
But just want to catch fuckingcrabs?
(48:53):
Okay, like, whatever it is.
I had so many thoughts goingthrough my brain right there.
I couldn't get it out, whichwas hilarious, but I had a lot
of funny stuff and so I startedcracking myself up.
Anyway, the last one, the lastone I sent you was pretty good
Only if you deliver it.
Only if you deliver it well.
Okay, Liz, you got wins andfails okay, you want to go first
(49:18):
?
No, I go first every fuckingtime no, that's not true.
Speaker 1 (49:22):
I will go first.
Okay, so wins and losses forthe last two weeks.
So my, my win is going to bewhat we talked about in the
beginning the food truck.
Like we're finally we finallygot done with that and it's
(49:43):
going to be working, um, thisweek, and so I'm happy about
that.
Um, so that's a huge winbecause it's been a stressor.
Um, my loss is also what wetalked about finding out about
my kid and her being sexuallyabused when she was six.
So, um, that is a huge loss forme, um, as far as, uh, mentally
(50:08):
, emotionally, everything, um,and I've lost sleep, sleep, I've
lost a million things over that.
So, um, that is my loss for theweek.
But the win is that the foodtruck is, you know, up and
running and we should be good.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
So now your turn okay , and that's, yeah, heavy, heavy
shit.
It's, it's, it's it's a thingbecause it's it's.
The fucked up thing is thatit's not our first rodeo and
that is fucked up.
(50:44):
It is intrinsically that isfucked up.
Yeah, the also even maybepotentially more fucked up is
that we know how to deal with it.
Um, to some degree, right, like, because it's it's exposure
therapy which is fucked up again, like that it's.
It's not the first time it'shappened.
(51:04):
We've gone through this before.
We know you know the journey,we know the fucking pain, we
know the heartache, we know theloss, we know all of that, but
so, and that's all fucked up,all of it, it's all fucked up.
Um, okay, so well, let's startwith the loss.
(51:27):
Um, we, I had a tough week too.
I guess, um, I, um, I'm alwaysum, let's see, um, I guess my
loss is the way that we as asociety are sort of giving a big
(51:47):
, huge, we don't fucking care,like, um, you know social media,
media in general, and it's notpeople you talk to, but I do
feel it's really, reallyspecific to the online spaces.
People are just angry, ragefilled, horrible, awful, hateful
(52:12):
human beings.
Now, when I go out, um, I'm not, I don't experience that in
face-to-face interactions.
For the most part, most of myface-to-face actions
interactions are really positive.
Um, I was driving um to uhpartner's house, uh, yesterday
(52:33):
and we we chatted for a littlebit but then, um, I pulled up
beside this car and this womanin the car next to me and I
think she had kids or someone inthe back seat, I don't, it's
unclear.
Anyway, she had this like long,like really curly hair and then
she had like and I could justsee it through the back of her
window because she had tintedwindows but when I pulled up
(52:55):
next to her she had like green,purple, pink, like all these
like like unicorn, fuckingbeautiful, like sprouts coming
out like in bright differentcolors on this huge mass of
beautiful curly, long hair.
And I pulled up to her and wegot stopped at the second at a
light together and I just rolleddown my window and got her
(53:15):
attention and I was like yourhair is fucking phenomenal, it's
the best thing I've seen allday.
Like that is amazing, you justmade my day.
And she was like so excited andhappy to like hear that as a
compliment because like I madeher day.
But I was like that made my day, like just seeing that I was
like you go get your badass girlself, like that's amazing.
So, like the face to faceinteractions you know that I
(53:38):
have with people like on a dayto day basis, are almost always
positive and, you know,uplifting, and people treat each
other so much nicer whenthey're face to face with each
other and they have to see them.
But I feel as though, like themedia environment, you know the
overhype and sensational andsensationalization of all these,
(54:00):
you know events and everybody'sgot to put in their two cents
and I give a shit about this andthat and it's just like guys,
that is not the world I want tolive in and I feel like my.
My loss is that where I've,I've incrementally found myself
less and less online or giving ashit about anything that does
happen there.
Like, I love the Instagram, inthe morning I just throw off a
(54:23):
ton of them because it makes melaugh and it's silly, but the
second it gets like hateful andangry and, you know, shitty, I'm
off because I just don't havebandwidth for that anymore.
Yeah, I, I prefer likeindividual, one-on-one
conversations.
Let's talk about it.
If we disagree, then let's justhave a civil conversation, you
know, and talk about it, ratherthan this back and forth
(54:44):
bullshit that happens online.
So that's my loss and, um, I dothink I do have a little bit of
hope about that.
Like, I think the youngergeneration is picking up on that
.
Like, um, roommate fours, she'snot online very much at all.
I think she does snapchat, um,you know, and a couple things
here and there, but she's notlike uh virally and
(55:06):
debilitatingly online all thetime, and I think that's a good
thing, and I think her even herand younger are starting to pick
up on that, which I reallyappreciate, because I'm like,
yeah, it's just, it's it's thing, and I think her even her and
younger are starting to pick upon that, which I really
appreciate, because I'm like,yeah, it's just, it's, it's
violent and it's horrifying theway people treat each other um,
and it's.
You know, anyway, that's myloss.
Um, the win is certainly goingto be um our justice system,
(55:29):
because you know rule of law.
I think uh was broken and Ithink that if you break a law,
that you should be punished forit.
Um, and I think that ourjustice system held up um in all
the right ways, as it should.
Um, I don't think anyone'sabove the law and I think that
if you do commit crimes andparticularly in this instance,
(55:50):
which nobody's talking about itnow, but it was election fraud
if you commit election fraud,then you should not be able to
be voted into a presidency andthat's just plain and simple.
Um, if it were reversed um,this would have never happened.
So I think, again, there isbeing special treatment here and
it's going, you know, in the uh, the perpetrator here's the
(56:17):
convicted felons.
Well, being convicted of thatmany felonies I'm not going to
say convicted felon, because Idon't think that that's correct.
I think we should say beingconvicted of 34 counts, um, and
being convicted for those shouldmake you ineligible to run the
nation on which, whose lawsyou've said you're going to
uphold.
(56:38):
So I think that that's my winfor this week.
And you know what?
Um, yeah, um, if you break alaw, you should pay the crime,
uh, or, you know, do the, do thecrime, do the time.
So I think that that's a win,um, and that our justice system
did its job.
And and that's putting itmildly Um, I think there were
(56:58):
some mistakes and and stuff.
But you know what?
Um, it was a jury conviction,and those were people who sat
there in the courtroom andlistened to the testimony.
I wasn't there.
Hardly anyone else I know wasthere the whole time, you know.
So I'm sorry they heard it.
They came to their own.
You know judgment of that, andthat's how you know.
(57:20):
We should convict all thepedophiles too, anyway, um, so
did you harsher punishments forthem, though?
For sure, yeah, absolutely.
Again, firing squad.
I'm like I know plenty ofpeople.
Oh, there was a show this week.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna send it toyou, because I don't I don't
want to say the name online oron air um, it it's fascinating
(57:44):
and I think, like you and I willtotally get it.
It's it's kind of hard to watch, it's really weird, but it's
the most interesting thing I'veabsolutely seen on like
television in a long time.
And it's a series, episodic,but, um, this guy goes around
new york, um, and it started inone way, but now it kind of has
been like guided in a differentdirection.
(58:04):
But anyway, he just randomlyran into this guy and this guy
actually baits sexual predatorsonline and then goes to meet up
with them with his evidence of,like, I'm underage.
He's saying I'm underage, he'snot.
This is dexter my dear.
No, no, no, it's not, it's not.
Okay, it's a totally differentthing, absolutely different.
(58:26):
And he goes and is it adocumentary or a show?
Nope, it's a.
This is just a little sliver ofthe show, okay okay, so he
randomly meets this guy andthat's what the guy does, is he
like, baits out these sexualpredators and then he'll go
there, call the cops and thecops show up and arrest the guy,
because they're like here'swhat he tried to do.
Yeah, anyway, it's not thatshow, it's not any of the things
(58:48):
.
It's totally different.
It's off the wall.
That's why I was like you mightactually dig it, because it's
all over the place, it's kind ofunhinged.
Speaker 1 (58:55):
I'll send it to you anyway all right.
Speaker 2 (58:57):
Did you figure out what sign off you're gonna use?
I did, okay.
Well, you have to deliver itwith the theater of a
well-trained, you know,performance artist.
Speaker 1 (59:09):
Yeah, okay, all right well, all so find us on sisters
.
Uh, declassified.
Our social media sucks Cause weboth aren't on it enough but,
you can message us on there andwe will get the messages, um,
but Google, google email um.
Google email is sistersdeclassified at gmailcom.
(59:31):
Email us um and let us knowyour thoughts or if you have
anything you would like us totalk about.
Um.
Speaker 2 (59:40):
We'd love to hear from you, or if you want to know
anything about us, like ask usa question, something that we
haven't told you about.
We're not going to give awaythe whole freaking kitchen sink,
but if you have something, youwant, a burning question, you
want to know and I know there'ssome listeners that might have
some yeah, email us questions.
Speaker 1 (59:59):
We'd love it.
We would love it.
Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
Yeah alrighty, are we ready for it?
Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
we're ready have the day you deserve.
hey, liz hey rachel first part of horse poop hey hey
, happy pride.
Yeah, oh, I forgot, I meant tochange my uh.
Uh, I went to, uh, I was goingto change my profile picture.
(00:25):
One of my girls oh, you knowher um, kristen from the gorge,
um, the, they're both short.
I'm like I don't know how toexplain it redhead, freckly kind
of yeah, um, she changed her uhprofile picture which I thought
(00:48):
was hysterical um to saywishing all the homophobes a
super uncomfortable month.
I was like I kind of I'm gonnasteal that.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
That's kind of great, oh my god, I love it I saved it
.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
I forgot.
I haven't changed it yet, but Imay uh, put that on there,
because it's like you guys don'tneed to hate anyone.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
That's funny, yeah, but I thought it was kind of
great your hair looks good it's.
You know this is doing nothingto it yeah I have so much hair,
I have so fucking much hair.
Um, the girl that cut it, Imean she did a good job with the
cut, like it's even yeah, ifthat makes sense, but she
(01:33):
doesn't know how to cut my hair.
Yeah, um, so I, I need lesshair.
And yeah, um, yeah, so it'schallenging.
There's a girl that works there, that's very young, that I used
to work with at the unnamedplace, um, and she, uh, she's
like, let me cut it.
You can watch in a mirror.
(01:54):
And I'm like, dude, I do nottrust you, I'm so sorry.
And she's like, no, but I cando a good job.
And I'm like, nah, I can't doit.
But I'm at the point where I'mgonna probably just shave the
bottom, like I thought aboutlike, yeah, shaving like from
here down, yep, just to get ridof some of the hair.
Yeah, because I I have so muchhair.
(02:18):
And I'm not complaining becauseyou know I could be bald, but
sometimes I just wish I had less.
Hello, I'm bald.
You know what?
I forgot what your speaker?
Yeah, I'm like I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I'm gonna sound as tinny as you you sound like
you're in a tunnel.
I know I'm gonna sound as tinnyas you on this episode because
I forgot to plug in my fuckingmic bullshit.
So what's you on this?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
episode because I forgot to plug in my fucking mic
Bullshit.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
So what's going on this week?
Oh, trauma.
Get in, that's what we weregoing to get in.
I'm a get in, oh dear God.
Well, it has multiple meanings,right?
I?
know, Like our defined this andthen our how-to are kind of both
like the same thing, because Iguess we, when you and I were
(03:11):
talking about it a little bit,it was plug your mic in.
I have a couple thoughts onthis.
I will.
Okay, sorry listeners, sorry toour foreign listeners and the
chickens, we're fixing it rightnow.
Oh, anyway, what are we talkingabout?
(03:33):
Promenade and meaning I, I havea couple meetings.
My first one is that hello, howare you much?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
better, much better sleepless in seattle.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
What are you calling for?
Okay, sorry about that, but I Ithink I have two separate
definitions for it.
So the first one is sort oflike okay, I feel as though the
word trauma has been overused.
It is kind of thrown aroundquite flippantly and is sort of
become like a mantra, slash, uh,I don't know cross to bear kind
(04:12):
of over zealously claimed by alot of people, unnecessarily so,
and so I feel like that is onepart of it.
Um, I also think that, yes,most people are traumatized by
things um and by world eventsand you know, um relationships
(04:39):
and humanity and just being ahuman.
There are things that do causeand create actual trauma for
sure but I think that it, likethe way in which we're using the
word, has almost beencompletely overtaken in a way
that well, I think it's a lottrivialized.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Yes, by how many times and how many people use
that word, um, and people arejust like whatever well, it's
sort of abusing the word, theterm, yeah, yeah, for what it
was intended to mean.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Sure, I agree with that.
But in that same sense though,I also just wrote an article and
I know they're not going topublish it because it's right
Inflammatory about trauma,informed teaching.
If you're teaching and youdon't understand that there are
people that are traumatized andyou're kind of behind the eight
ball, you've you've missed theassignment entirely because most
(05:40):
you know most young kids aregoing through their things and
they're having a hard time andthey're dealing with things that
are challenging.
Covid was challenging for mostkids and if you're not a teacher
that you know thinks about itin those terms that yeah, they
missed some learning, um, theydidn't have social skills.
(06:00):
You know all of those thingsand you're you're entirely
missing the bucket.
But overusing the term for justchallenging times as a human
and being an adult andstruggling through puberty and
all of those things, and sayingthat that's trauma is not the
yeah the thing, I agree withthat um so define this.
(06:26):
What is Trump?
Are we gonna?
I don't know.
Are we gonna talk about yourweek?
I don't know.
Is your, your side hustle,traumatizing my side hustle.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Which one?
What I mean?
The truck, yes, uh, okay, so Imean, yeah, I mean it.
I don't think it wastraumatizing, it was exhausting
and frustrating.
I think that is the correctword, correct words for it.
(07:04):
So our food truck?
Um, we had to.
So this is so stupid.
But the city, um, or state hasdecided that every six months or
so, we're going to update somelaws on food trucks and food
trucks and make morerequirements, which is totally
(07:27):
bogus.
Um, but now they're makingeverybody who has a griddle or
has any type of oil or anythinglike that, which I can see
having a fire suppression systemif you have um like fryers, um,
or you know something like deep, like deep frying french fries.
(07:48):
Yeah, like deep frying stuff inyour truck, whatever, um.
So I can see that maybe thatwould be something you would
want to do, but we produceminimal grease.
I mean minimal um.
All we do is heat up our stuffthat has been previously cooked.
I mean, our eggs and potatoesare rewarmed, which eggs are
(08:13):
cooked on the griddle, but eggsdon't produce grease.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Um and so anyway, it doesn't matter neither here nor
there.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
They're making every food truck that cooks anything
in the food truck, um, put afire suppression system in.
So we were like, well shit.
So we looked up, called acouple places 12 grand.
I'm like hell to the no wellwhat?
Speaker 2 (08:37):
what is the?
What are the defining like?
How do they define a firesuppression system?
What is what does that have tomean for a food truck sprinklers
fire alarm by a professional.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
You cannot, you, you cannot install it yourself, um,
there has to be cert.
It has to be a certified fireinspection place that has to
install it.
Um, and so what's funny aboutthis is you can run propane and
not have electrical.
A fire suppression system isnot going to work unless it's
(09:08):
connected to electrical.
So it's basically the stupidestrule ever.
And the lady from the healthdepartment she's the kindest
person actually.
Anytime I have a question, Icall her.
She's on it, she knows her shitand she knows what the rules
are and everything.
And she said I just don'tunderstand this.
And she said they're literallyputting out of business.
(09:32):
Yes, so somebody at the top yeah, because of the top is got a
restaurant and that's threatenedby it or something and food
trucks are hurting theirbusiness yeah, that's just the
silliest thing, because foodtrucks are mobile, we're going
around from place to place, umrestaurants um are totally
(09:52):
different animal anyway, doesn'tmatter so we decided we are
going to not have an open flameanymore, we are going to go all
electric.
So we decided to do that, andso we had to buy some new
equipment, take out the griddleum do a bunch of stuff.
It's going to change everything, including, probably, how
(10:13):
things taste.
I don't know um, we haven'ttotally figured all that out yet
, but we have to work tomorrownight, so we're gonna.
Tomorrow night will be ourfinal, final thing.
But I had um roommate three'sboyfriend and roommate two's
boyfriend over on saturday tohelp us because we got this new
(10:35):
fridge and it literally is waslike 400 pounds and I was like
I'm not getting that in the foodtruck with you, we'll literally
kill each other, um, and sothey came over and helped us, um
, put all this stuff in, and nowwe've realized that it doesn't
work the way it is, so we'rehaving to move it again, but all
(10:56):
the electrical's done,everything is running as it
should, so hopefully we'll befine.
Um, but it's been a wholeordeal just because we are
people who follow the rules.
Okay, there's so many questionsand it's so stupid, but we do.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
We follow everyone, okay but I have a quick question
sure can't you just get afucking fire extinguisher
installed by a professional?
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Nope Does not work.
It has to be a suppressionsystem.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
We have a fire suppression system.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
We have fire extinguishers in the truck.
Those are required.
Those are required that is afire suppression system.
Well, it's not, according toOklahoma state laws.
State laws for health.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
You need to write your congress.
You guys actually have a.
Really you have a decent guythere in oklahoma, the one I
think I sent you the reel of him.
He's actually good.
You should support him.
Um, he was talking about the uhtrans kid that got killed or
died in schools and he was likeI'm sorry, you guys needed to
(12:08):
mandate, report this becauseit's a hate crime and if you
know what I mean, he was justbeing well, but if you if you go
back and read that entire story.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Um, it definitely turned out not to be.
I mean, there was some bullyinggoing on, but that is oh 100
it's not they didn't kill her,it was it was a.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
It was obviously a after the fact yes, but no again
.
He was just yelling and harpingabout.
Well, if it is a hate crime,you have to mandate your
mandated reporter.
There were incidents leading upto that sure that they did not
report.
That's what he was coming downon them for and I was like yes
that should have been wellreported in advance so you know
(12:50):
there was someone looking outfor them.
I don't know why people, thehate is so real and it's so
stupid, it's so stupid likewe're too.
we're too comfortable.
This is why the word traumacomes up all the time.
We are too comfortable, we haveenough.
Why the word trauma comes upall the time.
We are too comfortable, we haveenough food, we have housing.
Right, I mean like most peopleI'm talking about in terms of
(13:10):
overusing or abusing the termtrauma.
They're just saying thatbecause they are too comfortable
, like I'm sorry, real traumawould be having to go outside to
use the restroom every day therestroom every day.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
So the actual definition of trauma is a deeply
distressing or disturbingexperience.
An example is like a personaltrauma would be like the death
of a child.
It's emotional shock followinga stressful event or physical
injury which may be associatedwith physical shock and
sometimes lead to leads tolong-term neurosis, um, and the
(13:50):
event is relived with all theaccompanying trauma.
Um, so it could be that inmedicine is such as um, a
rupture of the diaphragm causedby blunt trauma.
So there's trauma to the body,obviously medical things.
So there's different, there'sdifferent.
(14:12):
You know, emotional trauma isan experience that makes you
feel unsafe or helpless.
Some trauma can be physical,like such as a car accident or a
physical assault, but you donot have to sustain a physical
(14:33):
injury to experience emotionaltrauma.
Yeah, so there's, you know itis a very wide, I would say it's
broad it's broad definition,yes, very broad definition.
Um.
So I would say we experiencedtrauma.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
I mean to, to put it lightly, safe to say.
To put it lightly, I would like, um, yeah, I mean well, and
it's not just that we say that,like I've had plenty of there's
therapists physicalprofessionals yes, um normal,
(15:23):
everyday people go what the fuckyou were trying?
that is trauma.
So we all can confirm, yes, canconfirm, can confirm um
multiple sources.
I didn't just do my ownresearch on this.
Um yeah, no, it was well, and Ithink we both had to come to
(15:43):
the realization that we did infact experience trauma, right?
It was never talked about atthe time no I mean, this was not
a thing, nope, um.
So it is relatively new to bothof us and I do feel as though,
(16:03):
like the, the abuse or themisuse of the term, the overuse
maybe is a better way to say theoveruse of the term does
trivialize it.
Um, yes, and it's, let's say,even though it's a broad
definition, overusing it.
Um, minimizes its significancewhen there actually is trauma.
So if you are experience it andyou just say that it kind of
(16:26):
minimalizes someone's experiencewho actually did have, sure,
post-traumatic stress disorder?
Um, yes, and I I think there'sgood reasons for that too,
meaning why the explosion of ithas happened in the last you
know what 15, 20 years?
Um, but also has autisticdiagnosis exploded in the last
(16:50):
15, 20 years?
That's because we now know howto identify it.
Therefore, we are diagnosingproperly true.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
So roommate, one thinks she's autistic.
She has not yet got tested um,but she is.
She asked me why didn't we gettested?
Speaker 2 (17:08):
She get tested for that Number one.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
I never thought she was autistic, because when we
were raising our children,autism was like so far out there
.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Well, it is a spectrum, but yeah, actually so
they've, but yeah, actually.
So they've removed, honestly,they've removed a lot of these
definitions.
So like as burgers um, I'mtrying to think of the other one
that's really super common likeas burgers and like even
touret's, almost, even thoughthat's a specific diagnosis, but
(17:45):
a lot of the fringe ones areall umbrellaed under autism now.
So you could have autism andhave a like an autism diagnosis
and really only have likecomplex PTSD and ADHD and those
(18:05):
are specific.
But because everything is nowbeing kind of umbrellaed under
autistic diagnosis, being ageneral term for like trauma or
stress or whatever right, andit's on a spectrum Like I could
be stressed out when I wake upin the morning because I have a
long day, but I could also bestressed out because I was just
in a car accident.
(18:25):
So the broader definition forautism now kind of encompasses
so many like basic kind ofdevelopmental and emotional and
other disorders, or we could say, you know, learning challenges
or disability, disabilities ordifficulties.
(18:48):
So it kind of is so broad nowthat it's like, yeah, anyone can
, but it wasn't it wasn'tsomething that people even
thought tested for.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
A lot of people had any, you know, back then, and
there wasn't even testing for it.
They didn't even know how totest for it, and so I was like,
well, I never, you know, evensuspected that you had anything
wrong with you, because thepeople that had autism back
whenever the kids were littlewere like, or that they had
(19:18):
diagnosed with it, were likenonverbal or you know the
extremes, and so, um, all thesesymptoms that they're saying now
is due to autism is, um, muchdifferent than what they said
right now, 20-25 years ago.
So, right, um, it's just allscience changing and not
(19:39):
changing, but science, um,figuring the study more stuff
out yeah and um.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I also want to say, or add to that, that when our
kids were little so again we'retalking 20 years ago um, they
there was also a stigma withsure autism diagnosis or
learning disability theterminology that they were using
then put a stigma on kids where, like, special needs was
(20:12):
considered.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
You know there was a stigma yeah, adhd, which is so
diagnosed now, but like, yeah,it was like only diagnosed to
kids who you know were couldn'tsit still for a minute in school
, or you know?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
yeah, Can you tell I'm eating?
I keep turning off my mic CauseI don't want to chew into the
microphone, Cause I I appreciatethat, I know.
I was like I'm starving though,so I was like I need to eat
something.
Um, uh, I'm done in a second.
I was like I just needed tolike get a bite in me, cause I
was like getting hangry.
Um, the other thing that I waslistening to about autism
(20:55):
diagnosis, like so one, they'reexploding a little bit more, but
that's just because we'veidentified how to diagnose a bit
better and and we've alsoumbrellaed it under quite a few
different like factors and youknow pointers in which we do
that.
We're also testing morefrequently when it's recommended
, right, but the statistics onlike ADHD and autism used to be
(21:18):
really high for boys.
So it was like ADHD was almostconsidered like a boy, like a
young male kind of dominateddisorder, because they just
started like it's like marfansyndrome.
Marfan syndrome didn't have agenetic test.
Back in the day they had avisual verification of marfan
(21:40):
syndrome, so they just look atyou and be like, oh, you got big
earlobes and you got a sunkenchest, small, small shoulders
and a large nose.
You have marfans.
Like there was no clinical wayto confirm that you had marfan
syndrome and neither is therehas there been really definitive
like diagnosis tools for autismor any of its shoot-offs and
(22:02):
you know, umbrella terms catchall underneath that until now.
But now that they do have theseterms defined, they're finding
that it's just as common ingirls as it is in boys.
But because of the way that wetreat boys and girls differently
when they're growing up, it hadbeen considered previously just
a boys like disorder.
(22:23):
So if they're active, likedisorder.
So if they're active, whichmost boys are, I mean your kids,
all were active like boys, eventhough they were all girls.
But because boys arehyperactive, then it was just
automatically assigned to themLike oh, they just have too much
energy, they must have ADHD,let's medicate them and calm
them down, which is not the case.
(22:45):
So it presents differently ingirls and boys.
Now that we know that, girlsare getting more and more
diagnosed with it because theirspresents differently than boys.
Girls, you know, tend to do notactive things, but they zone
out, they daydream, they, youknow, do all these other things.
So they're presenteddifferently.
But now that we know that, thenthere's the diagnosis in girls
is going sky high.
(23:05):
It's not that there's more ofit, we just know how to better
diagnose it.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Anyway, this all goes back to trauma somehow, um, so,
yeah, so uh, when we, when Iwas, that was basically going
off of what I was talking withroommate one about and how,
because I mean she had somepretty trauma things that
(23:32):
happened to her that I justlearned about this week when she
was young, by a family member.
I use the term family veryloosely.
Let me say that, um, it isfamily by blood, but yeah,
that's about it and this personwill never, um, I will never see
(23:57):
this person again um because hedid things to my daughter that
are insane, but I just found outUnforgivable.
Unforgivable and criminal.
Criminal, absolutely.
We have no way of proving anyof this, because it's a he said.
(24:17):
She said at this point, unlesswe can get some more of his,
because I believe there'smultiple people that he abused.
Now Victims, victims yes,victims would be the right word
Survivors is the better one.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
There's more collaboration.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
There's probably nothing we can do legally right
now which killed me as a motherto be honest.
Frustrating at the minimum,yeah, frustrating at the very
minimum.
Um, so anyway, um, but sheexperienced that trauma when she
was like six and um, dear god,uh, that would be a trauma, yeah
(25:01):
, um 100.
So a physical, a physicaltrauma, um, but we, uh, all my
kids, have experienced some sortof trauma and you know, I was
like it's.
I struggle with that so muchbecause our trauma that we were
raised with was so um different.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
It was different trauma, but even not different,
but different environment yeah,and even in so, but you have to
understand that, like, like youjust described in the definition
, even a physical trauma like acar accident still has mental
and emotional traumaticrepercussions to it.
(25:45):
So there's elements of even justa physical you know altercation
that are mental and emotionalbecause of either their lasting
effects or how you got into thephysical situation to begin with
.
Or, you know, mom, guilt fordid I miss something?
Right?
All of that goes into it,bleeds out, leaks out, you know,
(26:08):
into all the other areas,because it can become
emotionally trauma, traumatizing, even if it was physical,
because of how you respond tothe same situations.
Or, right, our human brainslook at why it happened and we
have to reason that there'ssomething we did, didn't do,
(26:29):
said, didn't say, that caused ormade it worse or better or
could have avoided because ofthe physical thing.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
But that is emotional and um, spiritually and all of
those you know, dependent Ithink now there's um, and it
wasn't, it wasn't a thing manyyears ago, but now there is a
definition for religious trauma.
Um, and religious trauma iswhat we experience, as well as
(26:58):
physical and emotional.
We experience sexual trifecta,um, yes, all of financial, but
religious uh trauma definitionis it's when a person occurs,
when a person's religiousexperience is stressful, yep,
degrading, yep, uh, dangerous,uh-huh, abusive or or damaging,
(27:23):
right, okay, so check all thebox, check all of those boxes,
um, and that, I believe, takesit, should, should, if you're
experiencing those types ofthings, should take that
religion or place out of therealm of religion, like it
(27:48):
should not be a religion anymore.
If they're causing that kind ofstuff, um, religion, um, which
I'm totally against religionanymore.
I, I have no um, I thinkorganized religion, I hate it.
Um, I think you can believewhatever you want to believe
without religion and um,religion is just a lot of people
(28:13):
use it because a copingmechanism, uh yes, a coping
mechanism.
It's a crutch.
It can be something where theyfind friends.
You know there's there's a lotof reasons that people go to
religion, but I don't knowthere's there's a lot of reasons
that people go to religion, butI don't necessarily think that
there's a right religion outthere well, I think about it now
(28:35):
.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
I think from a 20 000 foot viewpoint as um.
Well, some people use food as acoping mechanism, sure to get
through their day and to makelife more enjoyable for them.
Some people use food as acoping mechanism to get through
their day and to make life moreenjoyable for them.
Some people use alcohol, somepeople use drugs or any kind of
other mind altering substance orright, and you can say food is
(28:58):
mind altering substance on manydifferent levels.
So people use things to helpthem through this slow march to
death.
I'm not ever going to judgeanyone for doing any of those
things, but you get to make thechoices and you get to choose
how you do them.
But if that, whatever it is,your coping mechanism bleeds
(29:20):
over into other areas of yourlife, harms other people or
impinges on people's individualright to choose what they allow
into their lives or not rightinto that choice, then I have a
problem with it.
And religion often does that.
Yeah, it often bleeds over andpushes.
You know, well, it's like, um,my friends that have gone sober,
(29:44):
you know what.
Good for you, happy, you Happy.
I mean, yes, go for it.
If that makes you happy,fucking do it.
But don't yell at me about if Ihave drinks, that I'm doing the
wrong thing.
And it's the same thing withreligion.
Or vegans, great, you do you.
You love veggies?
Fucking nail it.
(30:04):
You know, go for for it.
But don't tell me that Ishouldn't be eating meat because
, right, we only have so muchcontrol and the control we have
is one their choices we make.
And then how we react to otherpeople's choices, um, yeah, and,
and that's it.
And you shouldn't really have adesire to, like, reach over and
tell someone how they shouldchoose or what they want.
(30:26):
Yeah, um, because that's notyour choice.
You can choose how you react tosomeone doing that, and our
reaction is fuck off, right, Imean really, oh, and that goes
for religion, like you weresaying.
You know, do whatever you needto do to cope.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
No, if if you want religion, that is great and that
is your choice.
But when you start tellingother people they're doing the
wrong thing because they're notdoing what you're doing, that's
when it's a problem absolutelythat's, yeah, that's exactly the
same same as exactly what youjust said.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
So so and I think that that gets almost Liz, you
might've nailed it, because thatgets almost deeper into like so
then the trauma startshappening, and I'm talking about
spiritual, emotional, physical,sexual right, psychological.
All of that happens when you'renot allowed to make a choice
(31:24):
and you're forced into asituation, or when you can't,
you don't have the resources tomake a choice, or when someone
takes that choice away from youand then you're left feeling
helpless.
The definition you read wasfeeling helpless or out of
control, right, and so traumaoccurs at the point at which
(31:48):
that choice is taken away fromyou and or even if you didn't
have it in the first place, likea young child, they really
didn't have a choice about that.
Um and and it was taken awayfrom them.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Well, yeah, same with us growing up, right?
You know we didn't have achoice.
We had to do this, we had to beinvolved.
It wasn't a choice, right?
I think now, all of theknowledge that I know now,
(32:22):
versus, like, if I was in mom'shouse I'd have been kicked out
at like 11, I know I mean, oh,this is crazy oh I actually
nature, but no, you actuallyasked mom this week, last week
(32:53):
this week last week with sorryyanni, when this stuff about my
daughter came out, um, withinour family, uh, and her
therapist, um, anyway, I calledmy mom because, you know, rachel
came out to my mom immediately.
No, I didn't, you know, notimmediately rachel or my mom
found out about rachel'ssituation from me.
(33:13):
Yes, um, but I asked my mom,like her reaction, because she
had this instant, like we'regoing to the police, we're doing
this, like she, literally, andI had never seen her I don't
think ever like take charge orlike um, be so a hundred percent
(33:43):
, like on board with believingat number one and putting the
church and the religion asideinstantly.
She just like was, like youknow, we're going for blood
instantly, right, do you thinkthat?
No, so I asked her because, youknow, dealing with the stuff
(34:06):
with my daughter, um, I said,what was your first reaction?
And she goes, oh, he did it.
And she said, and like we weregoing to like, uh, get some
justice.
And I was like, okay, I mean, I, I feel the same way.
(34:26):
I know there's not a statue oflimitations On that kind of
stuff.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
There might be, on murder, a statue of limitations
there might be on murder.
Is there Murder?
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Yeah, no, that's what I thought.
But I'm'm like, but that's myinstant thought was I can, I'm
going to.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
I can help you.
I can help you with getting ridof the body kill somebody we
can't really talk about thisbecause that was my first
thought.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
And then, of course, she told her dad.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Her dad believed it, instantly said oh my gosh if
shithead we're talking aboutever dies, we have to scratch
this from the record.
But you know what?
I'm sorry.
I think that there is a few,there are several instances in
(35:28):
humanity where deranged andhorrible death you know means of
death are absolutely worthy ofsome people, I agree.
And I think that we as a societycan very, very easily determine
(35:51):
that I think our criminalcriminal, you know, prison
industrial complex in thiscountry is out of fucking
control.
And if you did some drugs, youknow, or you had a hard time and
you get, you know, put in, youknow jail and you ruin you you
know your whole life and it'snever the same.
You know that's some fucked upshit.
I do not believe in that at all.
I, however, believe that, youknow, in the 1800s, when we were
(36:15):
shooting people, that fuckingkilled, you know, small children
, yeah, I fucking thinkeverybody in our society would
be on board with that, and thesetype of people as well.
Like that, I think sexualpredators, yeah, sexual
predators, children, I mean,we're talking about children
(36:35):
that I get it, that are, and I'mgonna get so much flack sent
back to me for this, but like wehave a sort of a legal limit of
an adult definition.
It's legal, it's nothing else.
It's a legal definition of anadult allowed to make decisions
at the age of 18.
(36:56):
You know, in some states forlike, uh, substances like
tobacco, um, you know, firearms,um, all these things, rent a
car, um, driver's license, um,all fishing license and there's
different age limits that arelegal, legally placed boundaries
of where you're a child or notsure does that mean that anyone
(37:17):
who whoops um, I didn't realizeyou were 17, I'm 19 and oh shit,
we had sex should be, uh,criminalized and prosecuted and
ruin his life over that him orher?
no, I absolutely think it'scircumstantially based.
But if you're a, you know,grown adult man, meaning you
(37:38):
know you're over the age of 25,30 and you are are being a
predator on single digit humanbeings who don't have agency,
are not developed enough, youknow to even understand what
that term means then yeah, youshould die.
You should not, absolutely.
(37:58):
I mean, at the very least,chemical castration is an option
.
Just fucking cut the balls off.
Um, you know, for females, samething if they're predators and
there are female predators,they're much less common, but
there are and also that legal 18age limit should not extend to
those with limited mentalcapacity.
(38:19):
If you are mentally for surenot 18, even though you're
legally 18, you can still bepredated.
You know, you can still have apredator come after you and that
is still as bad as you knowabsolutely because they are not
(38:39):
of the mental capacity to beable to make those decisions for
themselves.
And that's really what the youknow.
The legal ease of it is fuckingbullshit.
Um, because I think as asociety, there's hardly well,
other than the predatorsthemselves, hardly anyone who
would disagree with a fuckingshooting squad for someone who,
(39:06):
you know, touches a six-year-oldchild, uh, period, and I think
there'd be plenty of fuckingpeople that would do that.
Um, and I think most of oursociety would be absolutely fine
with that, and I also thinkthat most of our society would
be fine well, the problem withthese people is they're gonna do
it.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
Which ones?
Oh, absolutely it's a it's a,it's not, it's a sickness in
their head.
Yeah, that cannot be cured it'sjust like mental.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
It's just like mental illness.
It is exactly the same thing,and you're only going to fix it
again.
There's chemical castration, um, and, and, or, you know,
separate yourself from society.
There's a whole island, um,fuck, where is it?
I need to look it up real quick.
There's a whole island of childsexual predators.
(39:55):
And guess what?
They all live on an island forthe very fucking reason because
they know that themselves.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
That's literally true there is, this island exists.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Yes, special Commitment Center in the state
of Washington, oh no, yeah.
So Washington, mcneil Island,there's 214 dangerous sexual
predator, violent predators andthey self-com commit.
I believe, okay, it's afacility, but I believe that
(40:33):
there it's a special commitmentso they have to self put them in
there.
Like they have to put.
They put themselves in there,like I need to be there because
otherwise I will sexually Yep,yep and um, it is a whole entire
thing.
So they know, yeah, theyfucking know, right, and it's
(40:56):
just like ours.
You know, we're gonna likeprotect a fucking fetus, yeah,
but we're not, not our own,we're not gonna protect that are
.
Yeah, that are actual human yeahand uh, I have a new name for
one of the supreme courtjustices it's uterus aceto,
(41:18):
uterus aceto, because he can'tcontrol his wife's uterus, so
he's gonna try and control everyother woman in the fucking
country's.
Uterus, uterus aceto, fuckingasshole.
But yeah, that is mind-blowingthat we will put more laws in
place to protect an unborntissue inside of a full-grown
(41:43):
woman's body, but we will notprotect anything full grown
woman's body, but we will notprotect anything after it comes
out of her womb.
Because then right, yeah, it'sjust, it's so mind-blowing it's
mind-blowing.
Yeah, I 100 so trauma, back toher topic.
Oh, by the way, you have to doa lot to do with trauma.
(42:05):
It's all trauma.
You have to do a sign off today, um, but yeah, okay, we should.
Well, we should wrap up thetopic for a minute here but then
uh, we have to do our wins andfails and also our your sign off
, which I'm looking forward to.
You have one right did you letrandy do it?
Speaker 1 (42:27):
no, I don't have one right.
Did you let Randy do it?
Speaker 2 (42:30):
No, I don't have one, what I just have one.
Okay, I'm going to, I'm goingto text you on.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
I mean, I have a stupid one that I heard when I
was growing up.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Okay Well, don't do it, don't do it yet.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Well, I won't, okay, but anyway, um, so wrap it up.
Yeah, so wrap it up.
Wrapping it up, um, I I thinkthe best thing to do if you have
experienced trauma so that'swhere we need to go from there
(43:10):
is you need to not isolateyourself.
I think, being around peopleseek therapy if you need it.
There's a lot of different waysyou can deal with trauma,
because a lot of people havetrauma um and doing I'm sorry,
(43:39):
I'm laughing, I cannot, uh,concentrate, just so you guys
just you guys know I'm sendingher unhinged sign-offs right now
.
Yes, yes off right now.
(44:00):
Yes, yes, um, but yeah, try notto.
This is the other thing.
Try not to find um like go downa trail of alcohol or drugs or
something like that, because orpain pills, you know, things
like that make things feelbetter momentarily, but they're
not going to help you deal withthe trauma.
Um, also, like I said, hangaround friends, but hang around
supportive people.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
It's a lot more about finding community.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
Yes, people who are supportive of you, and not, um,
not just anybody.
You want to.
You want to be, hang around,spend your time with people who
love you.
Anyway, I think exercise ishuge.
Well, that's a mentalsimulation right.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
So if you're in your head that's what I mean, yeah,
but if you're in your head aboutand and you can spiral, right,
that's a thing like you startspiraling and go.
Okay, um, you know, that's allyou can.
A lot of brains work like that,where we tend to focus on the
negative, but focusing on, likeenergy or exercise is going to
(45:09):
take your brain off the brain.
The brain's uh focus ontosomething positive instead of
something negative.
Now there's something to besaid about using drugs, drugs
and alcohol responsibly.
Okay, um, I don't, uh encourageirresponsible drug and alcohol
(45:37):
abuse.
Um, but they just approved thefda is about to approve mdma for
therapeutic use.
Now, um, who was doing a bunchof drugs experimentally in their
traumatic therapy, high stagesof re rehabilitation?
(46:00):
Right, I was.
I did a ton of experimentaldrugs, um, but I was doing
really intensive therapy at thesame time.
Well, that fucking helped, andso I can stand there and go.
Yes, so don't like, don't putdown, like all those drugs that
I researched.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
No, but I mean.
What I'm talking about is whereyou're turning to alcohol and
becoming an alcoholic.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
Right, as a coping mechanism, it's just like
joining a cult.
It's just yes.
Yes, I understand that, but Ijust wanted to clarify that
because it was like no, if youneed something to relax, unwind,
yes't abuse it.
Yes, substance abuse is notwhat we're saying here.
Yes, right, there are otheroutlets and that could be
dancing, that could be surfing,that could be playing volleyball
(46:44):
, that could be all the thingsyou do that could be overworking
yourself, so you don't have tothink about it.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
Yep, no, that has been my vice and I've used it to
my demise at times, because Istay busy, because then your
brain cannot think and rememberthe trauma and deal with the
trauma.
So staying busy.
But as I've gotten older, Itake days off and I, you know,
(47:18):
make things or make space to dothings for myself.
So that definitely helps a lot.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Well, the term self-care again.
I think this goes back to theself-care thing.
Like it's an industry now, likeyou know what, don't worry
about what you're doing, justmake sure you feel.
Okay, that's it.
Like there's too much money ontherapy there, right, and yes,
people do need therapy and thereare traumatic events.
But get the fuck outside and godo something.
Like there are, like there's abalance, but it is an industry
(47:48):
and we have to understand that.
Everything follow the money,follow the money.
Yeah, therapy is a huge fuckingindustry and you know what?
I think most people should bein therapy at some point in
their lives for sure.
But guess what, don't overobsess about that, don't over
obsess about self-care.
If you want to do something, godo it.
Like, make your life to whereyou can physically do it.
If you need help, go get help.
If you, if you need to cope fora little bit and you know it's
(48:11):
temporary cope, but get throughit have friends around you, have
family around you that aregoing to be a feedback or a
mirror source to tell you, hey,this is becoming a problem and
you guys have done that for metoo, like you've been like this
is really shitty.
You're having a problem.
You need to fucking fix it.
And guess what that's?
That's when you go, okay, Igotta pull my big girl fucking
pants up, you know, and startdoing a little bit better about
what I'm doing, cause obviouslyit's not working Right.
(48:33):
So I feel like that is a youknow, but if you don't have that
system around you which noteveryone does, but then it's
like okay, well, you know, maybeyou enjoy fishing, so go out
and find a fucking group offishermen that just want to
fudge.
But just want to catch fuckingcrabs?
(48:53):
Okay, like, whatever it is.
I had so many thoughts goingthrough my brain right there.
I couldn't get it out, whichwas hilarious, but I had a lot
of funny stuff and so I startedcracking myself up.
Anyway, the last one, the lastone I sent you was pretty good
Only if you deliver it.
Only if you deliver it well.
Okay, Liz, you got wins andfails okay, you want to go first
(49:18):
?
No, I go first every fuckingtime no, that's not true.
Speaker 1 (49:22):
I will go first.
Okay, so wins and losses forthe last two weeks.
So my, my win is going to bewhat we talked about in the
beginning the food truck.
Like we're finally we finallygot done with that and it's
(49:43):
going to be working, um, thisweek, and so I'm happy about
that.
Um, so that's a huge winbecause it's been a stressor.
Um, my loss is also what wetalked about finding out about
my kid and her being sexuallyabused when she was six.
So, um, that is a huge loss forme, um, as far as, uh, mentally
(50:08):
, emotionally, everything, um,and I've lost sleep, sleep, I've
lost a million things over that.
So, um, that is my loss for theweek.
But the win is that the foodtruck is, you know, up and
running and we should be good.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
So now your turn okay , and that's, yeah, heavy, heavy
shit.
It's, it's, it's it's a thingbecause it's it's.
The fucked up thing is thatit's not our first rodeo and
that is fucked up.
(50:44):
It is intrinsically that isfucked up.
Yeah, the also even maybepotentially more fucked up is
that we know how to deal with it.
Um, to some degree, right, like, because it's it's exposure
therapy which is fucked up again, like that it's.
It's not the first time it'shappened.
(51:04):
We've gone through this before.
We know you know the journey,we know the fucking pain, we
know the heartache, we know theloss, we know all of that, but
so, and that's all fucked up,all of it, it's all fucked up.
Um, okay, so well, let's startwith the loss.
(51:27):
Um, we, I had a tough week too.
I guess, um, I, um, I'm alwaysum, let's see, um, I guess my
loss is the way that we as asociety are sort of giving a big
(51:47):
, huge, we don't fucking care,like, um, you know social media,
media in general, and it's notpeople you talk to, but I do
feel it's really, reallyspecific to the online spaces.
People are just angry, ragefilled, horrible, awful, hateful
(52:12):
human beings.
Now, when I go out, um, I'm not, I don't experience that in
face-to-face interactions.
For the most part, most of myface-to-face actions
interactions are really positive.
Um, I was driving um to uhpartner's house, uh, yesterday
(52:33):
and we we chatted for a littlebit but then, um, I pulled up
beside this car and this womanin the car next to me and I
think she had kids or someone inthe back seat, I don't, it's
unclear.
Anyway, she had this like long,like really curly hair and then
she had like and I could justsee it through the back of her
window because she had tintedwindows but when I pulled up
(52:55):
next to her she had like green,purple, pink, like all these
like like unicorn, fuckingbeautiful, like sprouts coming
out like in bright differentcolors on this huge mass of
beautiful curly, long hair.
And I pulled up to her and wegot stopped at the second at a
light together and I just rolleddown my window and got her
(53:15):
attention and I was like yourhair is fucking phenomenal, it's
the best thing I've seen allday.
Like that is amazing, you justmade my day.
And she was like so excited andhappy to like hear that as a
compliment because like I madeher day.
But I was like that made my day, like just seeing that I was
like you go get your badass girlself, like that's amazing.
So, like the face to faceinteractions you know that I
(53:38):
have with people like on a dayto day basis, are almost always
positive and, you know,uplifting, and people treat each
other so much nicer whenthey're face to face with each
other and they have to see them.
But I feel as though, like themedia environment, you know the
overhype and sensational andsensationalization of all these,
(54:00):
you know events and everybody'sgot to put in their two cents
and I give a shit about this andthat and it's just like guys,
that is not the world I want tolive in and I feel like my.
My loss is that where I've,I've incrementally found myself
less and less online or giving ashit about anything that does
happen there.
Like, I love the Instagram, inthe morning I just throw off a
(54:23):
ton of them because it makes melaugh and it's silly, but the
second it gets like hateful andangry and, you know, shitty, I'm
off because I just don't havebandwidth for that anymore.
Yeah, I, I prefer likeindividual, one-on-one
conversations.
Let's talk about it.
If we disagree, then let's justhave a civil conversation, you
know, and talk about it, ratherthan this back and forth
(54:44):
bullshit that happens online.
So that's my loss and, um, I dothink I do have a little bit of
hope about that.
Like, I think the youngergeneration is picking up on that
.
Like, um, roommate fours, she'snot online very much at all.
I think she does snapchat, um,you know, and a couple things
here and there, but she's notlike uh virally and
(55:06):
debilitatingly online all thetime, and I think that's a good
thing, and I think her even herand younger are starting to pick
up on that, which I reallyappreciate, because I'm like,
yeah, it's just, it's it's thing, and I think her even her and
younger are starting to pick upon that, which I really
appreciate, because I'm like,yeah, it's just, it's, it's
violent and it's horrifying theway people treat each other um,
and it's.
You know, anyway, that's myloss.
Um, the win is certainly goingto be um our justice system,
(55:29):
because you know rule of law.
I think uh was broken and Ithink that if you break a law,
that you should be punished forit.
Um, and I think that ourjustice system held up um in all
the right ways, as it should.
Um, I don't think anyone'sabove the law and I think that
if you do commit crimes andparticularly in this instance,
(55:50):
which nobody's talking about itnow, but it was election fraud
if you commit election fraud,then you should not be able to
be voted into a presidency andthat's just plain and simple.
Um, if it were reversed um,this would have never happened.
So I think, again, there isbeing special treatment here and
it's going, you know, in the uh, the perpetrator here's the
(56:17):
convicted felons.
Well, being convicted of thatmany felonies I'm not going to
say convicted felon, because Idon't think that that's correct.
I think we should say beingconvicted of 34 counts, um, and
being convicted for those shouldmake you ineligible to run the
nation on which, whose lawsyou've said you're going to
uphold.
(56:38):
So I think that that's my winfor this week.
And you know what?
Um, yeah, um, if you break alaw, you should pay the crime,
uh, or, you know, do the, do thecrime, do the time.
So I think that that's a win,um, and that our justice system
did its job.
And and that's putting itmildly Um, I think there were
(56:58):
some mistakes and and stuff.
But you know what?
Um, it was a jury conviction,and those were people who sat
there in the courtroom andlistened to the testimony.
I wasn't there.
Hardly anyone else I know wasthere the whole time, you know.
So I'm sorry they heard it.
They came to their own.
You know judgment of that, andthat's how you know.
(57:20):
We should convict all thepedophiles too, anyway, um, so
did you harsher punishments forthem, though?
For sure, yeah, absolutely.
Again, firing squad.
I'm like I know plenty ofpeople.
Oh, there was a show this week.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna send it toyou, because I don't I don't
want to say the name online oron air um, it it's fascinating
(57:44):
and I think, like you and I willtotally get it.
It's it's kind of hard to watch, it's really weird, but it's
the most interesting thing I'veabsolutely seen on like
television in a long time.
And it's a series, episodic,but, um, this guy goes around
new york, um, and it started inone way, but now it kind of has
been like guided in a differentdirection.
(58:04):
But anyway, he just randomlyran into this guy and this guy
actually baits sexual predatorsonline and then goes to meet up
with them with his evidence of,like, I'm underage.
He's saying I'm underage, he'snot.
This is dexter my dear.
No, no, no, it's not, it's not.
Okay, it's a totally differentthing, absolutely different.
(58:26):
And he goes and is it adocumentary or a show?
Nope, it's a.
This is just a little sliver ofthe show, okay okay, so he
randomly meets this guy andthat's what the guy does, is he
like, baits out these sexualpredators and then he'll go
there, call the cops and thecops show up and arrest the guy,
because they're like here'swhat he tried to do.
Yeah, anyway, it's not thatshow, it's not any of the things
(58:48):
.
It's totally different.
It's off the wall.
That's why I was like you mightactually dig it, because it's
all over the place, it's kind ofunhinged.
Speaker 1 (58:55):
I'll send it to you anyway all right.
Speaker 2 (58:57):
Did you figure out what sign off you're gonna use?
I did, okay.
Well, you have to deliver itwith the theater of a
well-trained, you know,performance artist.
Speaker 1 (59:09):
Yeah, okay, all right well, all so find us on sisters
.
Uh, declassified.
Our social media sucks Cause weboth aren't on it enough but,
you can message us on there andwe will get the messages, um,
but Google, google email um.
Google email is sistersdeclassified at gmailcom.
(59:31):
Email us um and let us knowyour thoughts or if you have
anything you would like us totalk about.
Um.
Speaker 2 (59:40):
We'd love to hear from you, or if you want to know
anything about us, like ask usa question, something that we
haven't told you about.
We're not going to give awaythe whole freaking kitchen sink,
but if you have something, youwant, a burning question, you
want to know and I know there'ssome listeners that might have
some yeah, email us questions.
Speaker 1 (59:59):
We'd love it.
We would love it.
Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
Yeah alrighty, are we ready for it?
Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
we're ready have the day you deserve.
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