February 18, 2025 • 37 mins
Kela's email list for Soul In Progress + free worksheet
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All things Kela Rose https://hoo.be/sundazedkk
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I was going to call this episodeSurviving to Thriving.
This is what I came up with a couple weeks ago.
But then this morning and last night I just woke up with some
of the worst anxiety I've had inlike a year and I was like damn.
Healing really isn't linear. Like you are doing better but
(00:21):
sometimes you need to revisit old lessons and there's nothing
wrong with that. This episode is going to be
about exactly how I personally have learned to manage my
anxiety. Notice that I say manage because
I'm not just like getting rid ofit.
I'm actually just learning how to live with it.
(00:45):
And these are not like tips thatyou'll find on Google or from an
AI. Like these are my personal
things that have fucking worked for me in the last six years of
this healing journey, on this spiritual journey of this mental
health journey. And knowing that it's not
linear. Like I can say I am so much
better. My anxiety has healed so much.
(01:09):
And at the same time, I can wakeup this morning with the fucking
worst acid reflux that I've had in like a year.
And I'm like, damn, I'm still working through this anxiety.
What's up, guys? And welcome back to Skinny
Dipping. I'm Kayla Rose.
If you know me, you know. But if you don't know me, Skinny
(01:31):
Dipping is the podcast where we strip down and dive in
metaphorically to the mind, the body and the soul in order to
create actionable change in our lives.
And not going to lie, I did not want to record this episode
today. Like I am feeling so much
resistance right now. And this happens every single
time without fail when I'm aboutto have an expansion and a
(01:53):
breakthrough. And this Saturday to to to
February 22nd, I am re premiering and rebranding the
Soul and progress online community, which is a monthly
membership and I've done a lot of the creation for already.
It's already done. But now I'm getting all to the
admin stuff that I've been putting off and I'm feeling so
(02:16):
much resistance. I know that this is the time,
but for some reason, when I'm about to create something really
big and beautiful and powerful, my body just almost starts to
like close up because it's scary.
You know, change is scary. It is normal to have a fear of
(02:37):
success. And if you're watching me on
Spotify right now, you know, we have the video.
It's literally raining on me a little bit because I wanted to
crack the window open. We're recording in the car and
it's just Moody and rainy. And you know what?
So am I like, I'm giving Moody today.
Like, I've been reactive to my partner.
I've just been feeling in avoidance, maybe smoking a
(02:59):
little bit more marijuana to cope with the avoidance and the
ignorance of my feelings. I'm not feeling supported
because the truth is I'm not really supporting myself.
Like I need to get back into my movement practice, but I don't
want to do that through the process of shame and guilt.
Like I want to do it because I love myself.
(03:20):
But also I'm feeling shame and guilt around not working out and
then feeling so much procrastination and stress
around the launch and just beinglike, is this even any good?
And I share this all with you today to just be like, I get it.
Like I get it. If you're going through it, just
know that like even if you're like, oh, it's so small, I don't
(03:44):
know why I'm making a big deal out of it.
If it's a big deal to you, that's fucking valid.
Like that is fucking valid. If it is on your heart and
weighing on your heart, that is enough to bring it to the
surface and ask for support or bring it up to the surface and
talk to people. Like that's what I really am so
(04:04):
excited about about this community launch is like, you
know, what's great about the community is like the breath
work videos, the meditation videos, the movement videos, all
these practices that can really support a higher vibration in
your life. But honestly, the best part is
being able to go on the feed andchat with the girlies in the
chat and just be not even just the girlies like all the humans
that are a part of the soul and progress community.
(04:27):
And I do it for the girlies and the gaze.
That's it. But no, but actually just all
the humans that are part of the community and just being able to
talk and express and share how you feel so that you don't have
to feel so fucking alone in thishealing journey in this life.
Like so if you want to sign up for the wait list, this wasn't
even going to be a promo. I was just trying to explain how
(04:47):
I feel. But I'm going to drop a wait
list in a description. So if you haven't joined the
community yet, you can go ahead and know when we relaunch
because there will be a special for the first month where you
can get a really good deal. So anyway, let's get back to the
episode though. This is the season of reclaiming
wholeness. And I feel like in the spirit of
(05:07):
reclaiming wholeness, I need to be really fucking real about
what brought me to my spiritual journey in the 1st place, which
is my anxiety. Like that was what brought me to
my spiritual journey. Because when I got anxious, Oh
my God, it's kind of pouring right now.
I don't know if you can hear, but it's going to be ambiance.
(05:28):
But OK so where was I? The rain distracted me, my ADHD,
but basically me whenever I get off topic I would get angry and
reactive and triggered and that's how I would deal with my
feelings. I wouldn't be like this is how
I'm feeling. Like I'm feeling sensitive, I'm
(05:49):
feeling vulnerable, I'm feeling emotional, I'm feeling pain.
No, I would get triggered and angry and upset.
And that's why I needed to go totherapy because I was like, this
isn't functioning. Like I'm not functioning.
This isn't working. This isn't a good coping
mechanism. I'm hurting those that I love
with my attitude and I'm hurtingmyself by just creating so much
(06:10):
cortisol in my body. And even though I'm telling you
like today, like I woke up because I, I had a wedding, I do
wedding photography sometimes that was my job before
podcasting. And I had to wake up at like
5:00 AM for the sunrise shoe. And I just get the worst, like
(06:30):
early morning anxiety. Like will I wake up for my
alarm? And then like on top of it, like
not having a podcast ready for work, feeling maybe a little bit
stressed about finances, the rain coming down right now.
And I'm being really fucking honest with you guys, 'cause I
just like really want you to seethe whole picture.
But we're getting to the tips. And I promise the tips are
(06:51):
really fucking good and really fucking honest.
And just with the relaunch, the community, just like so many
things going on right now, like I have like new assistants that
I've been working with and like building a team in real time.
Like there's just a lot going onand I have no idea what the fuck
I'm doing. And there's so much uncertainty
and the rain is coming down. And I hope you guys can just
(07:11):
enjoy the ambience. We honestly just have to keep
going so we will continue with the ambience.
And this morning when I woke up from my shoe, I was so anxious.
I didn't sleep all night. I was anxious last night.
I was reactive with my partner today me and him got in a fight
because I'm just like really notin a good place.
And I just honestly felt like hewasn't being supportive of me.
But also it's just like the state that I'm currently in and
(07:34):
just, I literally had like acid reflux this morning.
Like I used to wake up. I remember like a couple years
ago, I would wake up every single morning and I would like
gag with acid reflux and I wouldlike feel nauseous.
And it totally went away. Like that hasn't happened in
like years, but it used to be every single morning.
And I was like, it was my fucking anxiety.
(07:55):
Like I know that so deeply. And today, waking up with that,
I was like, wow, this is my bodytelling me that I'm so
incredibly anxious right now, AmI OK?
So I'm sure the advice that I give today is the advice that I
need to hear. But the truth is what it made me
realize by having a day where I was back into a really strong
(08:20):
anxiety state, it made me realize how far I've come.
And it made me realize like thatdoesn't happen to me anymore.
Often. I don't get acid reflux.
I don't get as reactive and triggered.
It doesn't happen that way anymore.
I'm not as anxious. I'm not over committing myself
in the same ways that I used to.That would lead to anxiety from
(08:43):
me trying to prove that I'm goodenough or just prove that I'm
worthy enough or prove that I'm,you know, I don't know, just
like productive enough. All in all, it just made me
realize how far I've come because that's not my
day-to-day. It used to be my day-to-day and
now it's not my day-to-day. And I'm so fucking proud of
myself. And I'm telling you right now,
even if you have a set back one day where you are extra stuck
(09:05):
and depressed, or you have a setback one day where you were
extra anxious and reactive, or you have a set back where you
are just feeling so self critical, know that if that is
like a standout moment for you, that means that your day-to-day
isn't like that. Because we don't realize how
deep we're in it when we're in it.
(09:26):
Like when I was so anxious, I didn't realize it was anxiety.
Like when I was so anxious, I didn't realize how much it was
impacting everything in my life.And now that I'm like, oh, this
is standing out to me. It shows me it's not happening
anymore. It's not as common.
And because it's not as common, it's showing me, it's showing
you if you're experiencing something similar, how far we've
(09:47):
come. And we should be so fucking
proud of ourselves in that. And you know, when I was first
making this episode weeks ago, it was like surviving to
thriving. And the truth is that's what
happened to me. I was surviving.
Like, I was literally just surviving and not living
presently 'cause I was just likeliterally trying to get by
living with my anxiety. Oh it makes me emotional 'cause
(10:07):
I'm like damn like it makes me sad for past me and I'm sure
some of you can totally relate to this.
Makes me feel emotional looking at past me and seeing she missed
out on so much presence in her life because of her anxiety.
And now current me chooses to beextra present constantly and
(10:31):
just in thriving and living and livelihood and joyful energy
because because past me couldn't, you know, and the
truth is, I didn't do anything to get rid of my anxiety.
I think I just added healthier habits to my life and healthier
ways and systems of doing thingsand in that the anxiety just
(10:54):
lessened and lessened. I really am a big believer.
I think I talked about this in the past episode, but I saw a
girl talking about health and she was saying if you're trying
to add healthier things to your plate, you don't want to
restrict, you don't want to takeaway.
It's not actually good for your brain.
But if you just try to add 1 healthy thing and then you get
(11:14):
used to eating that thing and then you start replacing the
other things and filling your plate with more healthy things,
you won't even have space for the foods that drain you.
And I'm I'm not talking about food.
It's not about food in this situation.
This is about anxiety and mentalhealth and health habits.
Because I think if you're havingall these things on your plate,
(11:35):
that's over committing yourself,spreading yourself too thin
people pleasing to the Max. Like, if all these are the
things on your plate, how are you supposed to have room for
the peace, the joy, the curiosity, the play?
But if I add play, if I add mindfulness, if I add curiosity,
if I add art, if I add creativity, if I add my health
(11:57):
habits, working out, my meditation, my breath work, all
of a sudden there's no space forthe old habits that weren't
serving me, the old life, not even habits, but lifestyle
choices that weren't serving me.So I would say I didn't do
anything to fully get rid of my anxiety, but it has gotten so
much better. And I'm gonna talk about 3 or 4
(12:18):
things in this episode that I personally believe have helped
me. And like I said in the beginning
of the episode, this isn't gonnabe like stuff you could Google.
I mean, maybe you could Google it.
It's not something that AI wouldtell you.
It's not basic bitch advice. This podcast is sponsored by
Betterhelp. We often hear about the red
flags we should avoid. But what if we focused more on
(12:41):
looking for green flags and friends and partners.
And as we talked about in this episode coming up, we talked
about how relationships do impact our life.
And therefore, if we nurture ourrelationships, it'll help our
nervous system regulation, our emotional regulation.
And for me, therapy has allowed me to have healthier
relationships and I literally don't know what I would have
done with my communication skills that I'm still learning
(13:03):
every day if it wasn't for therapy.
And Better Help is a great way to get started with therapy
immediately. It's fully online and they're
making an effort to make therapyaffordable and convenient.
They serve over 5 million peopleworldwide, and you can easily
switch therapists at any time with no extra cost.
Because of course, it may take asecond to find your person.
(13:24):
That's normal. So discover your relationship
green flags with Better Help. Visit betterhelp.com/skinny
Dipping today to get 10% off your first first month.
That's better help. Help.com/skinny Dipping is also
going to be linked below. It's like this is actually what
worked for me, for my personal experience.
And like looking back, I mean, of course the habits help,
(13:46):
right? Like the breath work, the
meditation, the working owl. It's proven scientifically to
help your brain chemistry. And let's just say those
obviously work, right? Those are science backed.
These three things are more likepersonal lifestyle shifts that I
made and it it isn't the habits.I'm not we know the habits work.
I don't have to tell you guys that like, and that's why the
(14:09):
community is going to be so awesome because I'm doing like
hot girl breath work. Like I was doing breath work to
Sabrina Carpenter, Tame and Paula, like all these really
fun, joyful musicians that I look up to who really just like
get me, we're doing breath work to that.
And like the meditations are going to be really cool anyway.
It's just going to be so amazing.
(14:31):
And we know habits work. So let's just say that is a part
of it. Of course, that helps with
anxiety. But let's talk about the things
that personally helped me that you may not be thinking about or
other people may not be thinkingabout.
But I can look back in my 6 years of of this journey and be
like wow, OK, that actually worked for me.
So number 10 also guys wait, if you haven't yet hit the
(14:56):
subscribe or follow button before we get into this because
it helps me out and if you writea comment on the episode, if
you're on Spotify or if you write a review on Apple or or
you rate 5 stars obviously on Spotify, it helps me out so
much. Also, if you like copy the link
and send it to somebody that youlove or you share on Instagram
and tag me. It is so helpful for honestly
(15:18):
the algorithm to be able to expand skinny dipping, to be
able to expand the soul and progress community.
And the reason that I want to expand is because I want more
people to hear this so that morepeople can't feel alone.
And also this is my dream, so ithelps me.
So thank you. I love you.
You are inherently worthy. And let's get into these three
things. Number one, do less.
(15:41):
I remember Florence Gibbon, You guys need to listen to that
episode. It's so good.
When we were in London, she was like, I realize I can be more
when I do less. And that hit so deeply in my
soul, But I want to take it one step further.
What does it mean to do last? I feel like it's almost like a
very big term. And like, somebody like me, if
(16:01):
you can relate, who's kind of like, overachiever,
perfectionist, but people, please, are not anymore.
I mean, yeah, I still have some of those traits, but not like I
was when I was younger. I was like a productivity whore.
Like, I don't know if I should say that, but you know what I
mean? Like, I was obsessed with
productivity. Like I just thought that it
defined who I was and I'm just not that person anymore.
(16:25):
So what does it mean to do less?Because if you're like that, if
you base your worth off of productivity doing less, you're
like, wait, what? What does that even mean?
What does that even look like inaction?
I got you. So one doing less permission to
cancel or permission to take something off of your plate.
This is your permission slip right here.
(16:47):
This is how you do less. You look at where you're over
committing yourself, where you're spreading yourself thin.
And I know this so well. A girly with ADHDI get it.
I spread myself too thin on the daily in work and life and
friendships and relationships and my goals.
Like, I get it. It's important to evaluate
(17:08):
though and look and be like, where am I spreading myself too
thin? Because if you have too much
going on, too much overstimulation, like of course
you're going to be anxious. Of course you're going to
experience anxiety. Of course you're going to
experience stress if you have too much going on.
So permission to do less, permission to cancel something
that you really don't want to do, like permission to take
(17:32):
something off your plate and putit on your plate later on.
And just knowing that it's goingto get done in the perfect
divine timing. I think this is was something I
had to learn over time was that whenever something's not working
out and I just really, it's not the time to do something, it
always gets done at the perfect time for the perfect reason
(17:53):
because I needed to be in a certain state or I needed to
experience something before doing the thing.
And you'll just begin to notice.But that's like a personal
journey. You have to prove that to
yourself and prove that to your brain.
The next thing is to like take on less.
This is how you do less. Like stop overextending
yourself. Stop saying you can go out of
your way for people that wouldn't go out of their way for
(18:14):
you that don't support you. Stop literally spreading
yourself so thin that you don't have time to do nothing.
Like doing nothing is so incredibly important for
creatives. It's incredible for
entrepreneurship. I realized that when I was
skiing in Canada, I had so many ideas come through and I was
feeling so open to receive ideasbecause I wasn't so
(18:35):
overstimulated and overbooked and overextended.
But as soon as I got home and I was like, oh shit, I have so
much to do. I'm like, where is my
creativity? Where are my ideas?
Where is my motivation? Like because it's like almost
when you have too much going on your brain and your body shuts
down. It's like override, we can't do
this. So literally doing less will
(18:57):
allow you to actually create more because you won't have that
block, you know, you won't have that block of feeling like you
don't want to do anything. Like that's how I felt this
week. I'm like, I have so much to do
and I don't want to do anything.And I hate that fucking feeling
so much. And so I think the key is to do
less. Give yourself permission to
(19:19):
cancel. Give yourself permission to take
something off of your plate and just notice when you're over
committing and fucking do something about it.
OK #2 My biggest helpers E for anxiety.
Remember these are my thoughts, not the Internet.
These are my personal experiences.
(19:39):
So quote me. No I'm kidding, I'm kidding,
sorry. I'm just having fun with you
guys. This is like the most fun I've
had all day. Honestly I've been so stressed.
OK #2 I needed to have a certainlevel of acceptance for
uncertainty. And I know this one is a little
bit more meta. It's a little bit more brainy.
(20:01):
It's not really concrete or actionable, but it's something
that comes through practice of noticing, OK?
If I'm anxious right now, it's either that I have too much
going on, right? And if I have too much going on,
then I need to take something off my plate or do less, or
another reason I could be anxious.
For me, what I realized a root of my anxiety was uncertainty.
(20:23):
And the fear of the unknown and the fear of what is, what is
going to happen? Will it all work out?
Will I be successful? Will the people that I love be
OK? You know, like all these
anxieties would hit me and it would feel so overwhelming.
Like it's like, how can I even function in life when I'm
worrying about all these other things that I don't even know
are going to happen, right? It's taking up so much of my
(20:44):
energy space that I couldn't function in the past in the same
way that I do now. And I feel like the key with
uncertainty is just increasing your window of tolerance for
uncertainty and being like, lifeis uncertain.
Like, OK, for example, I was flying, I was like on a trip
(21:08):
with my family during like the plane crashes and when that was
all happening and I was honestlyreally anxious about it, right?
I was like, oh, gosh. And, and this girl, her name is
Dana. I think she's from the Bachelor
actually, but she's a psychologist.
She, she came up on my For you page on TikTok and she was like,
this is what I would tell somebody if they had anxiety
(21:28):
about flying. And I watched the TikTok and
she's like, you can't just tell somebody with anxiety.
Like you have to know the statistics.
Like you're going to be fine. Like the statistics say, I don't
give a fuck about the statistics.
You think my anxiety cares aboutthe probabilities of the
statistics? It doesn't like my anxiety is
running wild because I'm overwhelmed or overstimulated.
(21:50):
I just and my window of tolerance is just not enough to
handle the fear that I'm experiencing right.
So she said that the that the best thing that you can do
instead of being like these are the statistics.
Don't worry about it is instead of being like it's possible,
like being like it is possible. Like when you get in a plane,
there is a possibility that something bad could happen.
(22:12):
When you get in the car there isa possibility something bad
could happen. Like when you are literally
doing anything, there is a possibility that something could
go wrong. There is a pasta and almost just
like coming into just acceptanceof the uncertainty frees you
because then you tell your anxious brain we don't have to
(22:33):
keep saying what ifs because we know it's possible and it's not
what if what if, what if, what if it's it's possible but what
is the point of even fucking worrying about it?
I could worry about everything in the world if that was the
case because any situation couldbe dangerous.
But in most cases, most situations will be safe.
So I think instead, and this one's meta, right?
(22:55):
Like I'm me telling you this isn't going to change your life
in a second. I'm just saying it's a practice.
It's a devoted practice of everytime you're faced with
uncertainty and you feel that anxiety arise and you feel that
resistance and you feel that fear, instead of being like,
it's not going to happen, it's not going to happen.
Just be like, OK, say how you feel.
(23:17):
Give your anxiety the mic. Like if I'm having anxiety about
somebody in my life dying or something, right?
Because or like, I don't know, because I get anxiety about so
many things. So instead of being like, don't
think that, don't think that. I'm just like, what do you have
to say? Like what's the fucking worst
that could happen? And let's almost come into
acceptance that it is inevitablepeople that you love will die.
(23:38):
And I know that's fucking dark, but it's like the more that I
can come to peace and, and come to this feeling of acceptance
with uncertainty, the more I canincrease my window for tolerance
when dealing with uncertainty, which in general will just make
me stronger. So when the anxiety shows up, I
know how to move through it. And of course, like moving your
(23:59):
body, breath work, going on a run right now.
I got a trampoline, like a little rebounder for lymphatic
drainage. So I've been jumping on my
trampoline. I'm going to do that after this.
Like, of course, get the feelingout of your body when you're
feeling anxious. That is so incredibly important.
I really want to say that that just came through as like a very
important note as a key component in me getting over my
(24:21):
anxiety is like movement, dance,jumping around, shaking my body,
whatever I need to like, get it out.
But yeah, 2 is coming to a certain level of acceptance with
uncertainty. And like I said, it's a
practice. OK, so we have one.
Do less because if you're anxious, you may be
(24:43):
overextended, overstimulated. 2,you may be afraid of the
uncertainty. So coming to acceptance with the
uncertainty and really reasoningwith yourself and being like,
girl, it could happen. Like, I hate to break it to you,
but instead of what if, let's just say it's possible and like,
can we come to acceptance with that and realize it's probably
not going to happen? But at the same time, it's like
(25:04):
that is what makes my brain shutup, you know?
And #3 #3 is that your state around you impacts your
emotional regulation. So the other day on TikTok or
not TikTok on Instagram, I posted about Open and their 21
(25:25):
day challenge. And I have 30 days for free on
Open if you want to go check that out.
But I posted a video about breath work on my Instagram
talking about open and somebody commented because breath work
has been really powerful for me,right?
And somebody commented being like, I'm so sick and tired of
hearing that breath work, you know, is a cure all because, you
(25:49):
know, like my financial stress and my workplace is stressing me
out and breath work isn't going to solve that.
And I literally commented back to the girl and I was like,
girl, you're right. Like your financial situation
and your work environment is going to impact your emotional
regulation and doing things likebreath work, meditation,
(26:10):
movement, eating healthy, eatinghigh protein, regulating your
hormones in that way. Like it's going to increase your
tolerance for for sure and keep you regulated.
And it might just make it 1% better, but at least it's 1%
better, you know what I mean? But it really made me realize
that in the spiritual mental health community, like not
enough people are talking about how your friendships, the three
(26:33):
FS, your friendships, your finances and your free time
contribute so deeply to your state of being.
And I'll explain why. And and yeah, I just wanted to
get really real with you guys. Like the times of my life I've
been the most stressed have beenwhen I'm dealing with financial
(26:54):
stress and know that nothing is wrong with you if you are
experiencing that as well. Like it is just a part of life.
And of course, like doing your practices is going to make it
better. But what I would really
recommend you guys doing is getting educated with your
finances. Like I am loving.
(27:18):
What is her name? Oh my God, Tori, who does like
the financial feminist? I love her.
I love your rich BFF. She's so cool.
There's so many amazing creatorswho are giving out free
information on TikTok, on Instagram, on YouTube about
finance. And I just really urge you to
get educated. I'm 25, about to turn 26 and I
(27:40):
just wish I was educated at 20 in a better way.
And pouring into a high yield savings at a young age and you
know, investing in the S&P 500 early on, even in small amounts,
just to like start building thatwealth and making sure that my
money isn't losing its value through inflation.
Just like all these things, right?
(28:00):
Financial education is just so incredibly important.
And the second thing with this that I would recommend to really
help your financial situation, that's creating anxiety.
Like it's a part of life. You don't have to shame yourself
for it. Like people get stressed over
finances every single day. It is, it is just a part of it.
Like we are human. We can't pretend that that
doesn't impact us. But I would say learn a high
(28:22):
value skill, right? Learn something that you are
charging your clients like 205 hundred $700.00 an hour to work
with you instead of $25.00 an hour working for somebody else.
Learn, get certified in a high value skill and or work for like
a company who does like high ticket sales or something like
(28:42):
that. If you're more into that route.
But you know, it could be like astrology, human design, if
you're into that. It could be health coaching is
something one of my assistants does.
It could be, you know, for me, like I learned like breath work
and bar so that I could teach fitness online.
And for me, I did photography aswell.
(29:04):
Like I make like $500.00 an hourdoing photography.
Just to be completely transparent with you guys, like
learn a high value skill. It is so incredibly important
and get financially educated because of course your financial
circumstances are going to impact your state and your mood
and you can't expect them not to.
So let's get you educated and let's get your back, right?
(29:29):
Yeah. Anyway, OK, finance.
So is friendships, the three FS,finances, friendships and free
time. Let's talk about friendships.
And this isn't just friendships,it's relationships, but every
single interpersonal relationship you have, whether
it's at work, with a coworker, if it's with a lover, if it's
with a friend, if it's with a family member, it is affecting
(29:51):
your state of being. And we can tell ourselves, I
have boundaries. You know, we talked about this a
little bit last week in the healthy communication episode,
if you want to go listen to that.
But you know, we can tell ourselves, you know, I, I have
boundaries. I can just tune it out.
But the truth is like we're human.
We are meant to be connected. And of course, if we are having
drama in our lives, that is going to impact our emotional
(30:14):
state and create anxiety. And I genuinely feel like old
friends in my life created so much anxiety.
When I look at younger me and I look at the some of the friends
that I had, I was like, I was always anxious.
I was anxious of messing up around them.
I was anxious of, you know, being excluded or being too
(30:34):
much, you know, And I just feel like the friendships that I have
now are so supportive to my fullself and who I meant to be.
And these friendships love me unconditionally.
I don't feel the same judgement that I feel that I felt in past
friendships. So do a re evaluation on your
friendships and know if your friends are not that good, it is
(30:56):
better to be alone. It is better to be alone until
you find your people rather thanputting up with people who are
judge mental or who don't lift you up or don't make you feel
good about yourself. It's just not fucking worth it.
You know, like I had friendship breakups and then I was alone
for a really long time and it was really sad.
And really, you're depressing. And I would literally go to the
(31:18):
river and I would cry because I felt so sad about losing
friendships. And now I look back and I'm
like, thank God I lost those friendships that didn't serve
me. Because now after being lonely
and learning to love myself in that loneliness, I found such
amazing friends that I feel likehave my fucking back and
(31:38):
genuinely just see me with hearts in their eyes and love me
no matter what. Even if I'm like the absolute
worst. Like they love me.
Like I can come to them and I just, you know, maybe they'll
judge me, but they're going to tell me to my face in the most
sweet loving way that I need to get my shit together or
something like that. Of course, like we want honest
friends. Like I don't need someone to
like completely blindly support me.
(32:00):
You know? I like honesty and friendships
but I just feel like the love isso different and if you just
don't have those people in your life like make space for them.
Like be willing to be alone rather than being needy for
people that just don't deserve you.
And the third F is free time. How are you spending your free
time if you're scrolling? If you're doom scrolling that is
(32:23):
going to cause anxiety. Like if you are spending all of
your free time inside laying down watching TV, like free
time, I believe. Like of course sometimes you
need a break and you need to watch Love Island and lay down.
Like I get it. But the way we spend our free
time impacts our life. Because if I spend my free time
(32:43):
dancing or writing music or laying in my yard just looking
up the at the clouds, I feel so much more energized.
I feel so much more peaceful andjoyful.
But if I spend my free time scrolling on my phone or only
watching reality TV, like I'm going to feel fucking anxious.
So what are you doing with your free time?
I encourage you to just like maybe journal about it, take
(33:06):
notes about it and let me know how you feel.
But know that that impacts you, of course.
So OK, my biggest helpers, let'sreview one.
Do less permission to cancel. Take on less notice when you're
over committing 2. Having a certain level of
acceptance for uncertainty will create, you know, a bigger
(33:27):
window of tolerance for your anxiety and #3 you need to do a
re evaluation, a cleanup, and anhonest, just honest, sobering
moment about your finances, yourfriendships, and your free time.
Because of course, those things are going to have an impact on
(33:48):
your anxiety. So these are the things that
genuinely have helped me. And I just don't see people
talking about this. So I feel like this is such an
incredibly important episode andI was going to talk a little bit
more about resistance and fear, but I think I'm going to do that
in another episode. I feel like this is enough for
today. Feel like we've had a lot of
information and know that as youapply these things and you add
(34:12):
more good things and more joy toyour life, more dancing, more
music, more movement, more true friendship that like motivates
your soul. The more that you do that, the
less anxiety that you're going to have in the day-to-day and
doing that. It's also a process like your
journey to uncovering and unlearning your anxious habits,
(34:34):
like is is your journey and it'spart of the process and it's
going to be different than mine.But I hope that in some ways,
these perspectives helped you today because I love you and
you're so inherently worthy and you deserve to feel good in your
body. You deserve to wake up and feel
peace. You do.
Even if you don't realize it yet, you do.
(34:56):
OK guys, if you like this episode, share with somebody and
just make sure to go and sign upfor the wait list for the Soul
and Progress community. If you're already part of the
Soul and Progress community, just know that you will be
grandfathered in with the original $5 rate and you will be
able to access the community andall of the old content.
(35:19):
But if you want to be part of the new content and the live
calls, you're going to just haveto upgrade to Tier 1, Tier 2,
Tier 3. We're just increasing the
prices, increasing the tiers because we're increasing the
value and the consistency. And this is about to be the year
of the Soul and progress community where it fucking takes
off. We get enough members that we
get to like save up enough moneyin order to invest into an app.
(35:42):
And then we're going to create aSoul soul media app, SOUL Soul
Media app and it's going to be fucking awesome.
So if you want to be a part of that journey, like be a part of
this community now, knowing thata year from now, hopefully will
be launching or working on some sort of app.
But we got to get the finances for those first because building
an app that's actually good and doesn't have a bunch of bugs is
(36:05):
very expensive because you really want a really great
engineer. And you know me like quality
professionalism is so incrediblyimportant to me.
So anyway, I love you guys so much.
You are so inherently worthy. And I hope that whatever you're
experiencing, if it's really great, I hope it continues to
expand. If it's feeling rough and
sticky, then I just pray that you know it passes through and
(36:30):
you are able to step into your power and recommit to your
power. And if you're feeling just kind
of in between, like I hope you receive clarity for what it is
that you feel. And those are my wishes to you.
Make sure to tag me. And also if you took notes, send
them to me because it's literally adorable.
And I love when you guys are my students.
But we're all students of life and we're living together.
(36:51):
You know that. OK, I love you guys.
I'm Kayla Rose, and this is Skinny to Pink.
And I'll see you guys on Saturday for the launch of the
Community. OK, bye.
This made me feel so much better.
Thanks for talking guys.
I was going to call this episodeSurviving to Thriving.
This is what I came up with a couple weeks ago.
But then this morning and last night I just woke up with some
of the worst anxiety I've had inlike a year and I was like damn.
Healing really isn't linear. Like you are doing better but
(00:21):
sometimes you need to revisit old lessons and there's nothing
wrong with that. This episode is going to be
about exactly how I personally have learned to manage my
anxiety. Notice that I say manage because
I'm not just like getting rid ofit.
I'm actually just learning how to live with it.
(00:45):
And these are not like tips thatyou'll find on Google or from an
AI. Like these are my personal
things that have fucking worked for me in the last six years of
this healing journey, on this spiritual journey of this mental
health journey. And knowing that it's not
linear. Like I can say I am so much
better. My anxiety has healed so much.
(01:09):
And at the same time, I can wakeup this morning with the fucking
worst acid reflux that I've had in like a year.
And I'm like, damn, I'm still working through this anxiety.
What's up, guys? And welcome back to Skinny
Dipping. I'm Kayla Rose.
If you know me, you know. But if you don't know me, Skinny
(01:31):
Dipping is the podcast where we strip down and dive in
metaphorically to the mind, the body and the soul in order to
create actionable change in our lives.
And not going to lie, I did not want to record this episode
today. Like I am feeling so much
resistance right now. And this happens every single
time without fail when I'm aboutto have an expansion and a
(01:53):
breakthrough. And this Saturday to to to
February 22nd, I am re premiering and rebranding the
Soul and progress online community, which is a monthly
membership and I've done a lot of the creation for already.
It's already done. But now I'm getting all to the
admin stuff that I've been putting off and I'm feeling so
(02:16):
much resistance. I know that this is the time,
but for some reason, when I'm about to create something really
big and beautiful and powerful, my body just almost starts to
like close up because it's scary.
You know, change is scary. It is normal to have a fear of
(02:37):
success. And if you're watching me on
Spotify right now, you know, we have the video.
It's literally raining on me a little bit because I wanted to
crack the window open. We're recording in the car and
it's just Moody and rainy. And you know what?
So am I like, I'm giving Moody today.
Like, I've been reactive to my partner.
I've just been feeling in avoidance, maybe smoking a
(02:59):
little bit more marijuana to cope with the avoidance and the
ignorance of my feelings. I'm not feeling supported
because the truth is I'm not really supporting myself.
Like I need to get back into my movement practice, but I don't
want to do that through the process of shame and guilt.
Like I want to do it because I love myself.
(03:20):
But also I'm feeling shame and guilt around not working out and
then feeling so much procrastination and stress
around the launch and just beinglike, is this even any good?
And I share this all with you today to just be like, I get it.
Like I get it. If you're going through it, just
know that like even if you're like, oh, it's so small, I don't
(03:44):
know why I'm making a big deal out of it.
If it's a big deal to you, that's fucking valid.
Like that is fucking valid. If it is on your heart and
weighing on your heart, that is enough to bring it to the
surface and ask for support or bring it up to the surface and
talk to people. Like that's what I really am so
(04:04):
excited about about this community launch is like, you
know, what's great about the community is like the breath
work videos, the meditation videos, the movement videos, all
these practices that can really support a higher vibration in
your life. But honestly, the best part is
being able to go on the feed andchat with the girlies in the
chat and just be not even just the girlies like all the humans
that are a part of the soul and progress community.
(04:27):
And I do it for the girlies and the gaze.
That's it. But no, but actually just all
the humans that are part of the community and just being able to
talk and express and share how you feel so that you don't have
to feel so fucking alone in thishealing journey in this life.
Like so if you want to sign up for the wait list, this wasn't
even going to be a promo. I was just trying to explain how
(04:47):
I feel. But I'm going to drop a wait
list in a description. So if you haven't joined the
community yet, you can go ahead and know when we relaunch
because there will be a special for the first month where you
can get a really good deal. So anyway, let's get back to the
episode though. This is the season of reclaiming
wholeness. And I feel like in the spirit of
(05:07):
reclaiming wholeness, I need to be really fucking real about
what brought me to my spiritual journey in the 1st place, which
is my anxiety. Like that was what brought me to
my spiritual journey. Because when I got anxious, Oh
my God, it's kind of pouring right now.
I don't know if you can hear, but it's going to be ambiance.
(05:28):
But OK so where was I? The rain distracted me, my ADHD,
but basically me whenever I get off topic I would get angry and
reactive and triggered and that's how I would deal with my
feelings. I wouldn't be like this is how
I'm feeling. Like I'm feeling sensitive, I'm
(05:49):
feeling vulnerable, I'm feeling emotional, I'm feeling pain.
No, I would get triggered and angry and upset.
And that's why I needed to go totherapy because I was like, this
isn't functioning. Like I'm not functioning.
This isn't working. This isn't a good coping
mechanism. I'm hurting those that I love
with my attitude and I'm hurtingmyself by just creating so much
(06:10):
cortisol in my body. And even though I'm telling you
like today, like I woke up because I, I had a wedding, I do
wedding photography sometimes that was my job before
podcasting. And I had to wake up at like
5:00 AM for the sunrise shoe. And I just get the worst, like
(06:30):
early morning anxiety. Like will I wake up for my
alarm? And then like on top of it, like
not having a podcast ready for work, feeling maybe a little bit
stressed about finances, the rain coming down right now.
And I'm being really fucking honest with you guys, 'cause I
just like really want you to seethe whole picture.
But we're getting to the tips. And I promise the tips are
(06:51):
really fucking good and really fucking honest.
And just with the relaunch, the community, just like so many
things going on right now, like I have like new assistants that
I've been working with and like building a team in real time.
Like there's just a lot going onand I have no idea what the fuck
I'm doing. And there's so much uncertainty
and the rain is coming down. And I hope you guys can just
(07:11):
enjoy the ambience. We honestly just have to keep
going so we will continue with the ambience.
And this morning when I woke up from my shoe, I was so anxious.
I didn't sleep all night. I was anxious last night.
I was reactive with my partner today me and him got in a fight
because I'm just like really notin a good place.
And I just honestly felt like hewasn't being supportive of me.
But also it's just like the state that I'm currently in and
(07:34):
just, I literally had like acid reflux this morning.
Like I used to wake up. I remember like a couple years
ago, I would wake up every single morning and I would like
gag with acid reflux and I wouldlike feel nauseous.
And it totally went away. Like that hasn't happened in
like years, but it used to be every single morning.
And I was like, it was my fucking anxiety.
(07:55):
Like I know that so deeply. And today, waking up with that,
I was like, wow, this is my bodytelling me that I'm so
incredibly anxious right now, AmI OK?
So I'm sure the advice that I give today is the advice that I
need to hear. But the truth is what it made me
realize by having a day where I was back into a really strong
(08:20):
anxiety state, it made me realize how far I've come.
And it made me realize like thatdoesn't happen to me anymore.
Often. I don't get acid reflux.
I don't get as reactive and triggered.
It doesn't happen that way anymore.
I'm not as anxious. I'm not over committing myself
in the same ways that I used to.That would lead to anxiety from
(08:43):
me trying to prove that I'm goodenough or just prove that I'm
worthy enough or prove that I'm,you know, I don't know, just
like productive enough. All in all, it just made me
realize how far I've come because that's not my
day-to-day. It used to be my day-to-day and
now it's not my day-to-day. And I'm so fucking proud of
myself. And I'm telling you right now,
even if you have a set back one day where you are extra stuck
(09:05):
and depressed, or you have a setback one day where you were
extra anxious and reactive, or you have a set back where you
are just feeling so self critical, know that if that is
like a standout moment for you, that means that your day-to-day
isn't like that. Because we don't realize how
deep we're in it when we're in it.
(09:26):
Like when I was so anxious, I didn't realize it was anxiety.
Like when I was so anxious, I didn't realize how much it was
impacting everything in my life.And now that I'm like, oh, this
is standing out to me. It shows me it's not happening
anymore. It's not as common.
And because it's not as common, it's showing me, it's showing
you if you're experiencing something similar, how far we've
(09:47):
come. And we should be so fucking
proud of ourselves in that. And you know, when I was first
making this episode weeks ago, it was like surviving to
thriving. And the truth is that's what
happened to me. I was surviving.
Like, I was literally just surviving and not living
presently 'cause I was just likeliterally trying to get by
living with my anxiety. Oh it makes me emotional 'cause
(10:07):
I'm like damn like it makes me sad for past me and I'm sure
some of you can totally relate to this.
Makes me feel emotional looking at past me and seeing she missed
out on so much presence in her life because of her anxiety.
And now current me chooses to beextra present constantly and
(10:31):
just in thriving and living and livelihood and joyful energy
because because past me couldn't, you know, and the
truth is, I didn't do anything to get rid of my anxiety.
I think I just added healthier habits to my life and healthier
ways and systems of doing thingsand in that the anxiety just
(10:54):
lessened and lessened. I really am a big believer.
I think I talked about this in the past episode, but I saw a
girl talking about health and she was saying if you're trying
to add healthier things to your plate, you don't want to
restrict, you don't want to takeaway.
It's not actually good for your brain.
But if you just try to add 1 healthy thing and then you get
(11:14):
used to eating that thing and then you start replacing the
other things and filling your plate with more healthy things,
you won't even have space for the foods that drain you.
And I'm I'm not talking about food.
It's not about food in this situation.
This is about anxiety and mentalhealth and health habits.
Because I think if you're havingall these things on your plate,
(11:35):
that's over committing yourself,spreading yourself too thin
people pleasing to the Max. Like, if all these are the
things on your plate, how are you supposed to have room for
the peace, the joy, the curiosity, the play?
But if I add play, if I add mindfulness, if I add curiosity,
if I add art, if I add creativity, if I add my health
(11:57):
habits, working out, my meditation, my breath work, all
of a sudden there's no space forthe old habits that weren't
serving me, the old life, not even habits, but lifestyle
choices that weren't serving me.So I would say I didn't do
anything to fully get rid of my anxiety, but it has gotten so
much better. And I'm gonna talk about 3 or 4
(12:18):
things in this episode that I personally believe have helped
me. And like I said in the beginning
of the episode, this isn't gonnabe like stuff you could Google.
I mean, maybe you could Google it.
It's not something that AI wouldtell you.
It's not basic bitch advice. This podcast is sponsored by
Betterhelp. We often hear about the red
flags we should avoid. But what if we focused more on
(12:41):
looking for green flags and friends and partners.
And as we talked about in this episode coming up, we talked
about how relationships do impact our life.
And therefore, if we nurture ourrelationships, it'll help our
nervous system regulation, our emotional regulation.
And for me, therapy has allowed me to have healthier
relationships and I literally don't know what I would have
done with my communication skills that I'm still learning
(13:03):
every day if it wasn't for therapy.
And Better Help is a great way to get started with therapy
immediately. It's fully online and they're
making an effort to make therapyaffordable and convenient.
They serve over 5 million peopleworldwide, and you can easily
switch therapists at any time with no extra cost.
Because of course, it may take asecond to find your person.
(13:24):
That's normal. So discover your relationship
green flags with Better Help. Visit betterhelp.com/skinny
Dipping today to get 10% off your first first month.
That's better help. Help.com/skinny Dipping is also
going to be linked below. It's like this is actually what
worked for me, for my personal experience.
And like looking back, I mean, of course the habits help,
(13:46):
right? Like the breath work, the
meditation, the working owl. It's proven scientifically to
help your brain chemistry. And let's just say those
obviously work, right? Those are science backed.
These three things are more likepersonal lifestyle shifts that I
made and it it isn't the habits.I'm not we know the habits work.
I don't have to tell you guys that like, and that's why the
(14:09):
community is going to be so awesome because I'm doing like
hot girl breath work. Like I was doing breath work to
Sabrina Carpenter, Tame and Paula, like all these really
fun, joyful musicians that I look up to who really just like
get me, we're doing breath work to that.
And like the meditations are going to be really cool anyway.
It's just going to be so amazing.
(14:31):
And we know habits work. So let's just say that is a part
of it. Of course, that helps with
anxiety. But let's talk about the things
that personally helped me that you may not be thinking about or
other people may not be thinkingabout.
But I can look back in my 6 years of of this journey and be
like wow, OK, that actually worked for me.
So number 10 also guys wait, if you haven't yet hit the
(14:56):
subscribe or follow button before we get into this because
it helps me out and if you writea comment on the episode, if
you're on Spotify or if you write a review on Apple or or
you rate 5 stars obviously on Spotify, it helps me out so
much. Also, if you like copy the link
and send it to somebody that youlove or you share on Instagram
and tag me. It is so helpful for honestly
(15:18):
the algorithm to be able to expand skinny dipping, to be
able to expand the soul and progress community.
And the reason that I want to expand is because I want more
people to hear this so that morepeople can't feel alone.
And also this is my dream, so ithelps me.
So thank you. I love you.
You are inherently worthy. And let's get into these three
things. Number one, do less.
(15:41):
I remember Florence Gibbon, You guys need to listen to that
episode. It's so good.
When we were in London, she was like, I realize I can be more
when I do less. And that hit so deeply in my
soul, But I want to take it one step further.
What does it mean to do last? I feel like it's almost like a
very big term. And like, somebody like me, if
(16:01):
you can relate, who's kind of like, overachiever,
perfectionist, but people, please, are not anymore.
I mean, yeah, I still have some of those traits, but not like I
was when I was younger. I was like a productivity whore.
Like, I don't know if I should say that, but you know what I
mean? Like, I was obsessed with
productivity. Like I just thought that it
defined who I was and I'm just not that person anymore.
(16:25):
So what does it mean to do less?Because if you're like that, if
you base your worth off of productivity doing less, you're
like, wait, what? What does that even mean?
What does that even look like inaction?
I got you. So one doing less permission to
cancel or permission to take something off of your plate.
This is your permission slip right here.
(16:47):
This is how you do less. You look at where you're over
committing yourself, where you're spreading yourself thin.
And I know this so well. A girly with ADHDI get it.
I spread myself too thin on the daily in work and life and
friendships and relationships and my goals.
Like, I get it. It's important to evaluate
(17:08):
though and look and be like, where am I spreading myself too
thin? Because if you have too much
going on, too much overstimulation, like of course
you're going to be anxious. Of course you're going to
experience anxiety. Of course you're going to
experience stress if you have too much going on.
So permission to do less, permission to cancel something
that you really don't want to do, like permission to take
(17:32):
something off your plate and putit on your plate later on.
And just knowing that it's goingto get done in the perfect
divine timing. I think this is was something I
had to learn over time was that whenever something's not working
out and I just really, it's not the time to do something, it
always gets done at the perfect time for the perfect reason
(17:53):
because I needed to be in a certain state or I needed to
experience something before doing the thing.
And you'll just begin to notice.But that's like a personal
journey. You have to prove that to
yourself and prove that to your brain.
The next thing is to like take on less.
This is how you do less. Like stop overextending
yourself. Stop saying you can go out of
your way for people that wouldn't go out of their way for
(18:14):
you that don't support you. Stop literally spreading
yourself so thin that you don't have time to do nothing.
Like doing nothing is so incredibly important for
creatives. It's incredible for
entrepreneurship. I realized that when I was
skiing in Canada, I had so many ideas come through and I was
feeling so open to receive ideasbecause I wasn't so
(18:35):
overstimulated and overbooked and overextended.
But as soon as I got home and I was like, oh shit, I have so
much to do. I'm like, where is my
creativity? Where are my ideas?
Where is my motivation? Like because it's like almost
when you have too much going on your brain and your body shuts
down. It's like override, we can't do
this. So literally doing less will
(18:57):
allow you to actually create more because you won't have that
block, you know, you won't have that block of feeling like you
don't want to do anything. Like that's how I felt this
week. I'm like, I have so much to do
and I don't want to do anything.And I hate that fucking feeling
so much. And so I think the key is to do
less. Give yourself permission to
(19:19):
cancel. Give yourself permission to take
something off of your plate and just notice when you're over
committing and fucking do something about it.
OK #2 My biggest helpers E for anxiety.
Remember these are my thoughts, not the Internet.
These are my personal experiences.
(19:39):
So quote me. No I'm kidding, I'm kidding,
sorry. I'm just having fun with you
guys. This is like the most fun I've
had all day. Honestly I've been so stressed.
OK #2 I needed to have a certainlevel of acceptance for
uncertainty. And I know this one is a little
bit more meta. It's a little bit more brainy.
(20:01):
It's not really concrete or actionable, but it's something
that comes through practice of noticing, OK?
If I'm anxious right now, it's either that I have too much
going on, right? And if I have too much going on,
then I need to take something off my plate or do less, or
another reason I could be anxious.
For me, what I realized a root of my anxiety was uncertainty.
(20:23):
And the fear of the unknown and the fear of what is, what is
going to happen? Will it all work out?
Will I be successful? Will the people that I love be
OK? You know, like all these
anxieties would hit me and it would feel so overwhelming.
Like it's like, how can I even function in life when I'm
worrying about all these other things that I don't even know
are going to happen, right? It's taking up so much of my
(20:44):
energy space that I couldn't function in the past in the same
way that I do now. And I feel like the key with
uncertainty is just increasing your window of tolerance for
uncertainty and being like, lifeis uncertain.
Like, OK, for example, I was flying, I was like on a trip
(21:08):
with my family during like the plane crashes and when that was
all happening and I was honestlyreally anxious about it, right?
I was like, oh, gosh. And, and this girl, her name is
Dana. I think she's from the Bachelor
actually, but she's a psychologist.
She, she came up on my For you page on TikTok and she was like,
this is what I would tell somebody if they had anxiety
(21:28):
about flying. And I watched the TikTok and
she's like, you can't just tell somebody with anxiety.
Like you have to know the statistics.
Like you're going to be fine. Like the statistics say, I don't
give a fuck about the statistics.
You think my anxiety cares aboutthe probabilities of the
statistics? It doesn't like my anxiety is
running wild because I'm overwhelmed or overstimulated.
(21:50):
I just and my window of tolerance is just not enough to
handle the fear that I'm experiencing right.
So she said that the that the best thing that you can do
instead of being like these are the statistics.
Don't worry about it is instead of being like it's possible,
like being like it is possible. Like when you get in a plane,
there is a possibility that something bad could happen.
(22:12):
When you get in the car there isa possibility something bad
could happen. Like when you are literally
doing anything, there is a possibility that something could
go wrong. There is a pasta and almost just
like coming into just acceptanceof the uncertainty frees you
because then you tell your anxious brain we don't have to
(22:33):
keep saying what ifs because we know it's possible and it's not
what if what if, what if, what if it's it's possible but what
is the point of even fucking worrying about it?
I could worry about everything in the world if that was the
case because any situation couldbe dangerous.
But in most cases, most situations will be safe.
So I think instead, and this one's meta, right?
(22:55):
Like I'm me telling you this isn't going to change your life
in a second. I'm just saying it's a practice.
It's a devoted practice of everytime you're faced with
uncertainty and you feel that anxiety arise and you feel that
resistance and you feel that fear, instead of being like,
it's not going to happen, it's not going to happen.
Just be like, OK, say how you feel.
(23:17):
Give your anxiety the mic. Like if I'm having anxiety about
somebody in my life dying or something, right?
Because or like, I don't know, because I get anxiety about so
many things. So instead of being like, don't
think that, don't think that. I'm just like, what do you have
to say? Like what's the fucking worst
that could happen? And let's almost come into
acceptance that it is inevitablepeople that you love will die.
(23:38):
And I know that's fucking dark, but it's like the more that I
can come to peace and, and come to this feeling of acceptance
with uncertainty, the more I canincrease my window for tolerance
when dealing with uncertainty, which in general will just make
me stronger. So when the anxiety shows up, I
know how to move through it. And of course, like moving your
(23:59):
body, breath work, going on a run right now.
I got a trampoline, like a little rebounder for lymphatic
drainage. So I've been jumping on my
trampoline. I'm going to do that after this.
Like, of course, get the feelingout of your body when you're
feeling anxious. That is so incredibly important.
I really want to say that that just came through as like a very
important note as a key component in me getting over my
(24:21):
anxiety is like movement, dance,jumping around, shaking my body,
whatever I need to like, get it out.
But yeah, 2 is coming to a certain level of acceptance with
uncertainty. And like I said, it's a
practice. OK, so we have one.
Do less because if you're anxious, you may be
(24:43):
overextended, overstimulated. 2,you may be afraid of the
uncertainty. So coming to acceptance with the
uncertainty and really reasoningwith yourself and being like,
girl, it could happen. Like, I hate to break it to you,
but instead of what if, let's just say it's possible and like,
can we come to acceptance with that and realize it's probably
not going to happen? But at the same time, it's like
(25:04):
that is what makes my brain shutup, you know?
And #3 #3 is that your state around you impacts your
emotional regulation. So the other day on TikTok or
not TikTok on Instagram, I posted about Open and their 21
(25:25):
day challenge. And I have 30 days for free on
Open if you want to go check that out.
But I posted a video about breath work on my Instagram
talking about open and somebody commented because breath work
has been really powerful for me,right?
And somebody commented being like, I'm so sick and tired of
hearing that breath work, you know, is a cure all because, you
(25:49):
know, like my financial stress and my workplace is stressing me
out and breath work isn't going to solve that.
And I literally commented back to the girl and I was like,
girl, you're right. Like your financial situation
and your work environment is going to impact your emotional
regulation and doing things likebreath work, meditation,
(26:10):
movement, eating healthy, eatinghigh protein, regulating your
hormones in that way. Like it's going to increase your
tolerance for for sure and keep you regulated.
And it might just make it 1% better, but at least it's 1%
better, you know what I mean? But it really made me realize
that in the spiritual mental health community, like not
enough people are talking about how your friendships, the three
(26:33):
FS, your friendships, your finances and your free time
contribute so deeply to your state of being.
And I'll explain why. And and yeah, I just wanted to
get really real with you guys. Like the times of my life I've
been the most stressed have beenwhen I'm dealing with financial
(26:54):
stress and know that nothing is wrong with you if you are
experiencing that as well. Like it is just a part of life.
And of course, like doing your practices is going to make it
better. But what I would really
recommend you guys doing is getting educated with your
finances. Like I am loving.
(27:18):
What is her name? Oh my God, Tori, who does like
the financial feminist? I love her.
I love your rich BFF. She's so cool.
There's so many amazing creatorswho are giving out free
information on TikTok, on Instagram, on YouTube about
finance. And I just really urge you to
get educated. I'm 25, about to turn 26 and I
(27:40):
just wish I was educated at 20 in a better way.
And pouring into a high yield savings at a young age and you
know, investing in the S&P 500 early on, even in small amounts,
just to like start building thatwealth and making sure that my
money isn't losing its value through inflation.
Just like all these things, right?
(28:00):
Financial education is just so incredibly important.
And the second thing with this that I would recommend to really
help your financial situation, that's creating anxiety.
Like it's a part of life. You don't have to shame yourself
for it. Like people get stressed over
finances every single day. It is, it is just a part of it.
Like we are human. We can't pretend that that
doesn't impact us. But I would say learn a high
(28:22):
value skill, right? Learn something that you are
charging your clients like 205 hundred $700.00 an hour to work
with you instead of $25.00 an hour working for somebody else.
Learn, get certified in a high value skill and or work for like
a company who does like high ticket sales or something like
(28:42):
that. If you're more into that route.
But you know, it could be like astrology, human design, if
you're into that. It could be health coaching is
something one of my assistants does.
It could be, you know, for me, like I learned like breath work
and bar so that I could teach fitness online.
And for me, I did photography aswell.
(29:04):
Like I make like $500.00 an hourdoing photography.
Just to be completely transparent with you guys, like
learn a high value skill. It is so incredibly important
and get financially educated because of course your financial
circumstances are going to impact your state and your mood
and you can't expect them not to.
So let's get you educated and let's get your back, right?
(29:29):
Yeah. Anyway, OK, finance.
So is friendships, the three FS,finances, friendships and free
time. Let's talk about friendships.
And this isn't just friendships,it's relationships, but every
single interpersonal relationship you have, whether
it's at work, with a coworker, if it's with a lover, if it's
with a friend, if it's with a family member, it is affecting
(29:51):
your state of being. And we can tell ourselves, I
have boundaries. You know, we talked about this a
little bit last week in the healthy communication episode,
if you want to go listen to that.
But you know, we can tell ourselves, you know, I, I have
boundaries. I can just tune it out.
But the truth is like we're human.
We are meant to be connected. And of course, if we are having
drama in our lives, that is going to impact our emotional
(30:14):
state and create anxiety. And I genuinely feel like old
friends in my life created so much anxiety.
When I look at younger me and I look at the some of the friends
that I had, I was like, I was always anxious.
I was anxious of messing up around them.
I was anxious of, you know, being excluded or being too
(30:34):
much, you know, And I just feel like the friendships that I have
now are so supportive to my fullself and who I meant to be.
And these friendships love me unconditionally.
I don't feel the same judgement that I feel that I felt in past
friendships. So do a re evaluation on your
friendships and know if your friends are not that good, it is
(30:56):
better to be alone. It is better to be alone until
you find your people rather thanputting up with people who are
judge mental or who don't lift you up or don't make you feel
good about yourself. It's just not fucking worth it.
You know, like I had friendship breakups and then I was alone
for a really long time and it was really sad.
And really, you're depressing. And I would literally go to the
(31:18):
river and I would cry because I felt so sad about losing
friendships. And now I look back and I'm
like, thank God I lost those friendships that didn't serve
me. Because now after being lonely
and learning to love myself in that loneliness, I found such
amazing friends that I feel likehave my fucking back and
(31:38):
genuinely just see me with hearts in their eyes and love me
no matter what. Even if I'm like the absolute
worst. Like they love me.
Like I can come to them and I just, you know, maybe they'll
judge me, but they're going to tell me to my face in the most
sweet loving way that I need to get my shit together or
something like that. Of course, like we want honest
friends. Like I don't need someone to
like completely blindly support me.
(32:00):
You know? I like honesty and friendships
but I just feel like the love isso different and if you just
don't have those people in your life like make space for them.
Like be willing to be alone rather than being needy for
people that just don't deserve you.
And the third F is free time. How are you spending your free
time if you're scrolling? If you're doom scrolling that is
(32:23):
going to cause anxiety. Like if you are spending all of
your free time inside laying down watching TV, like free
time, I believe. Like of course sometimes you
need a break and you need to watch Love Island and lay down.
Like I get it. But the way we spend our free
time impacts our life. Because if I spend my free time
(32:43):
dancing or writing music or laying in my yard just looking
up the at the clouds, I feel so much more energized.
I feel so much more peaceful andjoyful.
But if I spend my free time scrolling on my phone or only
watching reality TV, like I'm going to feel fucking anxious.
So what are you doing with your free time?
I encourage you to just like maybe journal about it, take
(33:06):
notes about it and let me know how you feel.
But know that that impacts you, of course.
So OK, my biggest helpers, let'sreview one.
Do less permission to cancel. Take on less notice when you're
over committing 2. Having a certain level of
acceptance for uncertainty will create, you know, a bigger
(33:27):
window of tolerance for your anxiety and #3 you need to do a
re evaluation, a cleanup, and anhonest, just honest, sobering
moment about your finances, yourfriendships, and your free time.
Because of course, those things are going to have an impact on
(33:48):
your anxiety. So these are the things that
genuinely have helped me. And I just don't see people
talking about this. So I feel like this is such an
incredibly important episode andI was going to talk a little bit
more about resistance and fear, but I think I'm going to do that
in another episode. I feel like this is enough for
today. Feel like we've had a lot of
information and know that as youapply these things and you add
(34:12):
more good things and more joy toyour life, more dancing, more
music, more movement, more true friendship that like motivates
your soul. The more that you do that, the
less anxiety that you're going to have in the day-to-day and
doing that. It's also a process like your
journey to uncovering and unlearning your anxious habits,
(34:34):
like is is your journey and it'spart of the process and it's
going to be different than mine.But I hope that in some ways,
these perspectives helped you today because I love you and
you're so inherently worthy and you deserve to feel good in your
body. You deserve to wake up and feel
peace. You do.
Even if you don't realize it yet, you do.
(34:56):
OK guys, if you like this episode, share with somebody and
just make sure to go and sign upfor the wait list for the Soul
and Progress community. If you're already part of the
Soul and Progress community, just know that you will be
grandfathered in with the original $5 rate and you will be
able to access the community andall of the old content.
(35:19):
But if you want to be part of the new content and the live
calls, you're going to just haveto upgrade to Tier 1, Tier 2,
Tier 3. We're just increasing the
prices, increasing the tiers because we're increasing the
value and the consistency. And this is about to be the year
of the Soul and progress community where it fucking takes
off. We get enough members that we
get to like save up enough moneyin order to invest into an app.
(35:42):
And then we're going to create aSoul soul media app, SOUL Soul
Media app and it's going to be fucking awesome.
So if you want to be a part of that journey, like be a part of
this community now, knowing thata year from now, hopefully will
be launching or working on some sort of app.
But we got to get the finances for those first because building
an app that's actually good and doesn't have a bunch of bugs is
(36:05):
very expensive because you really want a really great
engineer. And you know me like quality
professionalism is so incrediblyimportant to me.
So anyway, I love you guys so much.
You are so inherently worthy. And I hope that whatever you're
experiencing, if it's really great, I hope it continues to
expand. If it's feeling rough and
sticky, then I just pray that you know it passes through and
(36:30):
you are able to step into your power and recommit to your
power. And if you're feeling just kind
of in between, like I hope you receive clarity for what it is
that you feel. And those are my wishes to you.
Make sure to tag me. And also if you took notes, send
them to me because it's literally adorable.
And I love when you guys are my students.
But we're all students of life and we're living together.
(36:51):
You know that. OK, I love you guys.
I'm Kayla Rose, and this is Skinny to Pink.
And I'll see you guys on Saturday for the launch of the
Community. OK, bye.
This made me feel so much better.
Thanks for talking guys.
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