February 4, 2025 • 41 mins
lets do a value check in & reprogram our subconscious beliefs about success together
All things Kela Rose https://hoo.be/sundazedkk
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
How silly of us to forget how rare this all is.
That quote fluttered across my Pinterest and completely stopped
me in my tracks because I realized that the things that I
were valuing were the things that society was telling me to
value. Whether that was fame or money
(00:20):
or I don't know. Just like all these things, the
the luxurious things, the material things, which don't get
me wrong, I love those things somuch.
There's nothing wrong with that.I am a Venus in Taurus.
So it's like obviously. But by using those things to
define my success, I was playingsmall and almost holding myself
(00:47):
captive in some way. What is up guys?
And welcome to skinny dipping, where we strip down and dive in
in a metaphorical way. But you know, we love the
girlies who actually love to skinny dip in real life.
But we're stripping down and diving in to deeper
vulnerability, deeper healing. Whether that's talking about
mental Health Sciences and goingabout it from a very scientific,
(01:09):
analytical point of view, or if we're talking about the woo woo
and spiritual and trying to makethese very meta, complex topics
tangible and actionable for us. This is what we do here at
Skinny to Bing. I'm so grateful if you were just
finding the episode, Hey, Girl. But of course, if you are part
of the community, you know what we do here.
(01:29):
This is the season of reclaimingwholeness.
And if you listen to any of the other episodes from this season,
this solo season that I'm doing,it really is just about tuning
in to the most whole form of ourselves by tapping in to who
we truly are in all our facets, in all our complexities, in all
(01:53):
our messiness. That's how we truly begin to
accept and fall in love with ourselves.
And when we are in love with ourselves, we are magnetic to
what it is that we desire, and we are able to move through life
with so much more compassion andgrace.
And life feels like a dance rather than a struggle because
of course there's going to be moments of doubt where we doubt
(02:14):
ourselves or feel like we want to hide certain parts of
ourselves. But every single time we feel
that way, it's actually an incredible opportunity to love
ourselves deeper. And to fall off the tracks or to
fall off of the game where you're just like, taking such
deep care of yourself with such deep compassion is sometimes
actually a good thing. Because you can't just get stuck
(02:35):
in the norm of something becausethen it takes away the
intentionality of it. So what I really love about
falling off the tracks and getting lost and feeling like I
don't know who the fuck I am, isI get to discover myself in a
new way over and over again. And each time when I meet
myself, I fall in love with myself even deeper and in a new
(02:56):
whole nuanced way. So that's really what this
season is about, of reclaiming wholeness is just noticing those
moments that are an opportunity for growth and redefining.
And today we are, Oh my God, 555, Oh my gosh, 555 on the car
that just drove by, which is thesymbol for me an Angel number of
(03:20):
change. And we are diving into change
and redefining success today. And this was the biggest switch
that I feel like was made for mein 2024.
And now I am taking these embodied lessons into 2025.
So I don't know if you guys know.
(03:40):
Oh, but by the way, before we get into it, sorry my little
ADHD mind. Just give a little subscribe or
a follow. And also, if you haven't rated
the show or done a comment or whatever, go ahead and comment
on the episode. Leave a review, leave a rating.
You know, it really helps me out.
And I just want to hear from youguys.
Like whenever you guys DM me andtell me how these episodes are
(04:00):
impacting you, it is just fuel for me to continue to keep
going. So I appreciate you guys so
much. You are inherently worthy and
I'm so excited to strip down anddive in.
I'm Kayla Rose and this is skinny dipping.
And today we're talking about redefining success.
And just to give you like a little overview, we're going to
talk about the old programmed me, the old program version of
(04:24):
myself, and how I based a lot ofmyself worth off of my hustle
and my accolades. We'll get into that and how I
transitioned to the new expandedversion of me and what I value
now instead. And then we're going to go over
the biggest shifts that you needto make in order to redefine
success. And then we are also going to go
(04:48):
over the three C's later in the episode for you to have a
system, right? A tangible, actionable system
that you can come to every single time you feel yourself
slipping back into old patterns and slipping back into old
habits. So I cultivated that all for you
guys today, and I'm so excited to dive in.
(05:09):
So let's get into it. I love you guys.
So here's the team basically, I don't know if you guys know in
astrology, the perfection years,basically in astrology we have
our perfection years, which represent kind of a theme of
life that we are encountering each year.
(05:30):
So for example, when you're 1 years old, you're in your first
house perfection year, when you're 2, your second house
perfection year, your third yearof life, your third house
perfection year. And then once you get to 12,
you're in your 12th house perfection year.
And then once you're 13, you go back to your first house
perfection year and it just kindof keeps going.
So for example, this is just really powerful to know because
(05:53):
I have seen across the board with so many of my close friends
that 23 is just notoriously a year of death, you know, and
that is because it is your 12th house perfection year.
In this 12th house perfection year, basically we are faced
with a lot of our subconscious shadows and it can be a really
(06:16):
lonely year for a lot of people.But I think that loneliness is
really there to allow you to explore your depths and allow
you to really turn inward, especially after years of being
in high school or in college where you're surrounded by a lot
of people. All of a sudden, you're 23,
you're kind of growing out of that and you're beginning to
maybe feel alone. So with that being said, if
(06:38):
you're in that space right now or you know, you're just
wondering what your perfection year is, you can go ahead and
look that up on your specific age.
For me personally, the whole point why I'm telling you this
is because for me personally, in2024, my 25th year around the
sun, I am an Aries. If you guys don't know, Aries
with the Scorpio rising and a Gemini moon.
(07:00):
I'm born on March 22nd, 1999, somy 25th year, my 25th solar
return this year that I've been encountering is my second house
perfection year. So that means I'm dealing with
themes of the second house. So what does that mean for me
personally? The second house represents
values. That is the number one thing
(07:22):
that I feel like it represents, as well as the way that you
relate to the material world andyour material possessions, your
money, your finances, and how italigns with your values.
So I didn't even realize this was going on because the thing
about astrology is it's very intuitive.
You don't have to sit down and figure it all out and you don't
(07:43):
have to be in control of what's going on in your astrology chart
because you actually can't be. And instead, it's so much more
beautiful to just acknowledge that you will intuitively go
through these cycles, through these astrological cycles, and
you don't even have to think about it or force it or
anything. It just happens.
So this is what happened to me with my second house perfection
(08:06):
year. All of a sudden, my values have
become incredibly redefined. And you know, it's not a
complete 180 because I feel likeI was already gently moving
towards these values. But what I've been really
focusing on this year is refinement.
How can I refine who I am and what I value and where I spend
(08:26):
my time in order to serve myselfand my highest purpose in the
best way possible? So for me, this last year was
truly about redefining my values.
What I find valuable and value defining work is so incredibly
important guys, because basically, if you know your
values, you know where you should prioritize your time and
(08:49):
your energy and just in general your thoughts like what is worth
your time and energy and realizing you only have room for
so much, so might as well prioritize your values.
So for me, because I was transiting my second house
perfection year, the biggest shift that I made from 2024 to
2025 was redefining my concept of success and looking at what
(09:12):
society told me was success, looking at what influences in my
life told me what success was and really reflecting and being
like, are these my values? So let's talk about the shift
old programmed me. I was raised off of valuing my
(09:33):
worth and my success based on grades and accolades, right?
It started when I was very youngin school where the way that I
felt like I was respected by my family was directly coincided
with my grades and my intelligence and how well I did
(09:57):
in school and how many dance classes I did and if I got solos
and just like really defining success off of these very
physical material items. And, you know, it worked for me
at the time because it kept me incredibly motivated and really
did serve me well to a degree because not going to lie, turned
(10:19):
out to be a very intelligent young woman.
And I loved education and I enjoyed school and I wanted to
get good grades. But what happens is it's kind of
all fun and games when you're young, right?
The grades, the accolades, it's like, oh, it's that it's that
high that we get and that approval from others that we
(10:41):
crave. But then as we get older and we
transfer to being a young adult in our 20s and all of a sudden
I'm like, OK, the amount of followers I have defines who I
am. The number that I have in my
bank account defines who I am. The number of friends that I
have define who I am. And all of a sudden I'm basing
(11:02):
my life and my values and my sense of self worth off of this
quantifiable scale of how many friends, followers, and money in
my bank account that I have. And the truth is all those
things are very cyclical and very fleeting.
And you can have it one minute and not have it the next.
(11:23):
And I would get so down on myself when I saw my bank
account and it was lower than ever before.
Or when I looked around and I was like, wow, I only have like
a couple good friends. Or I was like, Oh my gosh, my
followers aren't growing and getting caught up in all these
things that transferred from me being raised, seeing my value
(11:44):
and my worth based off grades and accolades and approval from
others. So I just realized this wasn't
fulfilling me at all. I realized that it was actually
taking away from my life becauseit it was making me feel bad
about myself. And when you feel bad about
yourself, when you're in that shame spiral, when you're in
(12:06):
that negative talk thought loop spiral, it is so incredibly hard
to actually work towards your purpose and to pour into the
love you have for yourself or toeven like get your ass up and go
to the gym because your sense ofself worth defines the type of
devotion that you have. And again, remember, discipline
(12:27):
is doing what you want to do because you need to prove that
you're good enough. And devotion is doing it because
you know you are worthy of taking action on your desires.
And I think if you don't think that you are worthy, you won't
have that devotion to your purpose, to your relationships,
to your best life, to your health, to just who you want to
be and the world that you want to create for yourself.
(12:50):
So I definitely think that building up your sense of self
worth is so important. And that's why our sense of self
worth can no longer be defined by these flighty, quantifiable
resources like followers, money,amount of friends, the amount of
trips you take, how nice are allthe things that you have, right?
(13:15):
Consumerism is like literally ruining the fucking world.
Like on like an environmental scale, the pressure to have the
new thing, to get the new makeup, to have the thing that
works and fixes it all and blursyour skin and does the whole
damn thing. The pressure is crazy and it's
subliminally in front of our faces constantly and it's
(13:38):
ruining the environment, but it's also ruining our sense of
self worth and it's also allowing us to misplace our
values. And I think, you know, we don't
have to get super like politicalor in the social landscape, but
it definitely it relates to all of that because the truth is
that the people in power, the people in power, right?
(13:59):
Like the 1%, the people in power, they benefit off of us
not feeling good about ourselves.
They benefit financially off of us being addicted to materialism
and consumerism and thinking that we are not good enough on
our own. That narrative works for them
and for me. I was so ready to break this
(14:19):
model of what I valued, the programmed version of me and
what she valued. And it happened so naturally
overtime. I didn't have to like sit down
and force myself to do the shadow work.
It just came, slowly but surely,and it was that day that I saw
that quote. How silly of us to forget how
(14:41):
rare this all is that I realizedthat I was beginning to truly
value the things that mattered in life.
So now the new expanded version of me shifted my perception from
basing my values and my worth off of quantity and shifted that
to quality. So measuring my life in this
(15:03):
qualitative way. So for me now, luxury, for me
now, what it looks like to be rich is slow mornings.
It's getting to move my body andeating healthy food.
It's getting to jump in the ocean.
It's getting to nurture the depths of my relationships.
Even if I only have a couple good friends, knowing that the
(15:26):
depths of the relationships are so incredibly strong.
The new expanded me. My values are placed on the
purpose around my work, not exactly the exact number that
I'm receiving back or the followers that I'm getting.
I'm focusing on the purpose of my work and helping other
people. And for me, when I switched this
(15:47):
mindset of what I valued from this quantitative way of
thinking to this qualitative wayof thinking, my life completely
changed because I realized that,yeah, like what I said before,
like me eating my avocado toast and doing a little Pilates
workout or going to the gym and then going on a walk with my dog
and then jumping in the water with my boyfriend and then
(16:09):
getting to go on a walk with my mom.
Like, that makes me feel so fucking rich.
That makes me feel like I'm living in fucking luxury because
I have the time and the energy and the health to actually spend
time with people who actually fucking matter to me.
First of all. Like valuing my family more,
valuing my partner more, spending time with our dog.
(16:32):
Like spending time in our house,having the time to move slowly
and not being in a rush. That is luxury to me now.
Not being in urgency is a luxury.
Being able to take my time makesme feel like, Oh my gosh, I am
so fucking rich. I am so fucking lucky to be able
to live this life where I get towake up and take my God damn
(16:55):
time. Because the old programmed
version of me, she thought that urgency, constantly being in a
rush and being busy was a sign that I was successful and that I
was needed and that I was important.
And now, Oh my God, the sun coming on me.
If you're watching the video on Spotlight, Spotify, just saying,
the sun coming on me right now, I feel like it's such a
confirmation and affirmation that now the way that I value my
(17:20):
life is so much grander and makes me feel like I am so rich.
I am so lucky. And that is the fucking
abundance mindset. When you literally see a flower
and you're like, how lucky am I to see this beautiful flower
right now? When butterflies flutter by me
on my morning walk, I'm just like, how fucking lucky am I
(17:42):
that I get to see nature live just abundantly and freely.
This is so amazing. I am so rich.
I am so lucky being able to callmy long distance best friends
and just laugh with them and realize that, you know, I might
not have a lot of fucking friends or a huge fucking friend
(18:03):
group. But what I do have is people who
really care about me and I really care about them.
And we have the depths of a reciprocal relationship.
And now that's what new expandedme values.
And I encourage you to look at the values in your life and how
can you tell your values right where you're placing your time,
where you're placing your energy, where are you even
(18:24):
placing your thoughts? Because when I realized, like I,
for example, would get caught upwith old friendships that
weren't serving me and I would let them take up space in my
mind. Like these situations were
living rent free in my head. I was like, this is not where my
values lie. And as soon as I switched my
values, the thoughts actually shut up because I realized I
(18:46):
want my brain to be thinking about my purpose, my work, my
creativity, my art. This is where I want my mental
space to be going. And of course, you can't always
like control your thoughts and you shouldn't shame yourself.
But the more that you pour into the values that you do want to
define as your version of success, the more your brain
just gets used to it and gets used to only thinking about
(19:09):
those things because the brain loves familiarity.
So the more that you think aboutsomething, the more that
momentum will kick in and you will just continue to think
about it. So now I'm just like really
clear, my health is the number one value.
My purpose is also up there in the top values, my family, my
close relationships, and my relationship to myself and
(19:30):
Spirit and God. These are the things that are
important to me now and it has made my life so much, so much
better. Honestly like redefining success
made my life so much better for all the girlies.
Trying to get their boyfriend off of vaping.
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(19:52):
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(20:14):
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(20:55):
this works. So if you are listening to this
and you're like, OK, Kayla, thatsounds great.
I want to do that too. How do I do this?
We're going to get into it. Literally in my notes, I have
rant on what success is to me now and what success really is.
And I didn't even have to plan it.
Like that was just straight frommy heart.
(21:16):
Like I really feel like that's what success is.
Success is slow mornings. Being able to take your time,
being able to pour into your health, being able to pour into
your movement. My creativity, my purpose, my
craft, my deep relationship, having people that I love,
loving my animals, taking care of the environment, being in
nature. That's what feeling rich and
(21:36):
luxurious fucking feels like, baby.
The 1st shift that I need you tomake in order to embody this
energy that we're talking about right now is proving.
You're going to go from proving to presence.
Listen to that again. The first thing that you're
going to do in order to begin toreprogram your mind, in order to
(21:57):
see the world in this qualitative way, in this
abundant appreciative gratitude ways.
You're going to go from proving that you have something to prove
to presence, just truly being who you are meant to be.
So whenever you catch yourself trying to prove who you are to
(22:18):
yourself, to somebody else, to society, to your workplace, to
your family members, to your friends, whoever it is, if
you're noticing yourself being in the mode of proving, just
catch yourself. Just notice and be like, oh, I'm
really like trying to prove right now.
What am I trying to prove? And getting curious with that is
(22:38):
going to be the key here. So you're going from proving who
you are to presence. And every time that you catch
yourself, you're just going to realize like, OK, like, how can
I be present? Instead of trying to prove to
somebody that I'm smart enough, that I'm beautiful enough, that
I'm important enough, that I'm valuable enough, instead of
proving to somebody else, why don't I just be who I am?
(23:02):
And start reminding yourself, saying it out loud, writing it
in your journal, just start to notice who are you really?
And you'll start naming the qualities that you love about
yourself, right? And just being like at my core,
I'm a compassionate, loving person.
I care a lot. I love the people in my life.
I have this talent, I have this artistic ability.
(23:24):
I have these ideas I want to bring into the world.
I want to help people in this way.
And just by bringing yourself back to who you are and those
qualities that you possess and reminding yourself who you are
at your core, who you were when you were a child, who you are.
When you are grounded in the deep, knowing that you know who
(23:45):
the fuck that you are, that's when you go from trying to prove
who you are to somebody else to being in the presence of who you
already are. And realizing, of course, it's
good to like grow and change andshift and evolve, but you don't
have to do anything of that. Like you don't have to do any of
that. You are inherently worthy
exactly as you are. And you already possess all the
qualities that you need to live out your greatest life.
(24:08):
You already do. You already have the capability.
You just need to remind yourself.
And that's how you go from proving to presence #2 the shift
that I need you to make is instead of hustle, I want us to
move towards a paste, sustainable action.
Because the thing about hustle is that it leads to burnout,
which I've been in that positionso many times of feeling like
(24:31):
I'm not good enough and then hustling really hard and trying
to prove who I am to myself, to others through working really
fucking hard and hustling my assoff.
And then I get burnt out and I'll get physically ill or sick.
My immune system will be like, girl, we're done.
Like we're done. We have nothing else in US.
And then I fall into feeling badabout myself.
(24:53):
And then it's just like this vicious cycle that never ends.
And by catching it in the beginning and being like, I
don't even have to hustle in the1st place because I don't have
anything to prove. That's when you ask yourself,
OK, but I do want to take action, right?
Like, I don't want to just like,sit on my ass and fucking do
nothing. Like I'm the type of person who
I do love creating. I do love taking action.
(25:15):
I do love the tangible steps to creating my dreams and putting
the ideas that, you know, come into my little mind into the
physical 3D World and creating things.
So we need to take action, but making that action paced and
sustainable is what is going to actually give you that long term
(25:36):
success. And you can do it without
burning yourself out. You can reach the career goals
that you want to reach. I've realized this.
This has been the most beautifulrealization because I thought if
I wanted to be successful in my career, I had it.
I had to grind right? Then I realized I was like, no,
I can actually do it in this paste and sustainable way.
(25:58):
And when you do this, it actually leads to the most long
term success. For example, I, you know, for
example, like I just always trust so deeply that all the
projects that I have will happenat the perfect time.
Like I start coming up with the ideas sooner than I start acting
on them. But for example, with the
retreats, I really had wanted todo the retreats for so long.
(26:22):
And it was just in that moment that I was like, this is the
time that I moved into it. And I just started, you know,
tripping away at those sustainable, actionable steps.
And it just happened. And that's the thing.
If if you just keep putting 1 foot in front of the other, like
it's going to happen for you, you don't have to rush.
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Like the ego is always in a rushand an urgency because that's
just how it is. It's just more living in that
like lack and, and that fear mindset.
So in order to be in the abundance mindset, which is the
energy that we want to put off into the world, obviously,
right? Because that is the energy that
we get back from the world. It's so important to be like,
(27:04):
there is no rush. I have all the time I need.
All I need to do is put one footin front of the other.
And as you do that, I promise that is how you accomplish your
goals in a sustainable way. And it feels so much better.
Like along the way, it feels so much better, OK.
The third shift is from lack to appreciation.
(27:26):
And this one has to do with justlike your daily life.
Like, OK, imagine you're not in the exact place that you want to
be in your life, right? Maybe like financially or career
wise or location wise or relationship wise, whatever it
is. But there is something in your
life that is so special and is so unique to you, and you need
(27:48):
to just start noticing those things.
Whether it's that daily walk that you go on, whether it's
that best friend that you get tocall that just always puts you
in a good mood. Whether it's your dog or your
cat that always makes you feel loved.
Whether it's that book series that just makes you feel alive,
or whether it's an instrument that just brings you back to
yourself or a piece of art that always makes you feel connected
(28:10):
to yourself. You need to begin looking at
those really small things as so fucking special.
When you begin seeing the magic and the mundane and the special
in the small moments, that is when everything begins to light
up and you are more magnetic because of it.
Because you were in that state of truly appreciating how rare
this all is. How rare.
Seeing the butterfly fly by right now as I'm recording this,
(28:33):
that is so incredibly rare. Drinking my lemon water in the
morning and being like, how lucky I am I to have clean water
to drink. Like how lucky am I to have food
to eat? How lucky am I to have this
voice to speak? How lucky am I to have this body
to move? Like once you start beginning to
tap into that appreciation for all the little things that you
(28:56):
overlook, that's when your life fucking changes.
When you go from proving to presence, hustle to paste,
sustainable action and from lackto appreciation.
And now you know these things, right?
Life is so rare. May we never forget it.
May we never forget it at this point, after this episode, just
beginning to notice all the things that you sometimes
overlook and seeing it as so incredibly special.
(29:17):
And of course, there is a difficulty in reprogramming,
right? Because a lot of our mindsets
are so incredibly habitual. So these are the three CS that
I'm going to have you tap into anytime you want to change your
mindset because of course, you're not going to listen to
this and everything's going to change right away, right?
You might start doing this. Be in this energy post podcast.
(29:40):
You feel inspired, you're reallytapping in for the next week and
then you may have something happen and feel like you kind of
fall off again and feeling that lack or feeling that proving or
feeling that hustle. And whenever that happens, know
that that is totally normal and a part of the process.
And actually healing isn't a line and it's not a circle.
(30:02):
I think I said this last week, it's also a spiral and you have
to keep coming back to lessons over and over again to
rediscover them in a new way andlearn more about yourself in a
new way again. So it's actually really special
that we get this opportunity over and over again to learn.
These are the three CS that you are going to tap into anytime
you feel like you are falling into old beliefs or old
(30:25):
mindsets. And this is how you're going to
shift those mindsets to the expanded version of you.
Like like that. OK, the first C is catch.
OK, like you're catching a ball.No, me, I'm like sports.
No, but actually like you are going to just notice catch
yourself in the moment and literally say out loud, Oh my
(30:46):
gosh, I'm improving right now. Oh my gosh, I'm in urgency right
now. Oh my gosh, I'm in lack mode
right now. Oh my gosh, I'm in not noticing
the small special moments right now.
Just catch yourself. The first C is catch.
When you catch yourself doing these things, you actually begin
to consciously unprogrammed these old beliefs because you
(31:08):
are catching these beliefs and being like, are you actually
true? Should I be actually falling
back into these thought patterns?
And then your heart and your soul can respond and be like, no
girl, these, these beliefs, these thought patterns, they are
no longer serving us. And just by catching it, you
already begin to unweave it. The second C is curiosity.
(31:30):
So after we catch, then we get curious.
We ask ourselves, why am I feeling this way?
What is it stemming from? And what need isn't being met
within me and how can I meet this need for myself?
And you know, usually, like if we're in hustling or proving or
lack, like maybe we are needing some sort of approval, like some
(31:53):
need to just tell us you're doing OK, you're doing a good
job. I'm proud of you.
And that's what I really need you to get into is noticing what
do I need? And most likely in this moment,
you need to feel proud of yourself or you need to go to
your partner or your friend or afamily member that you trust and
be like, what am I doing, right?And this is an exercise that
(32:13):
everybody could do to go to somebody in their life and just
ask them, what am I doing right?And this could actually be a
journal entry that you could do yourself.
Just ask yourself in your journal and reflect on what are
you doing that's right in your life?
What are you doing that's great in your life?
What are you doing that's important and valuable in your
life? And just begin to tap into all
(32:34):
the different things. It doesn't have to be big grand
successes. No, it can be the smallest
little things that you are proudof within yourself, whether
that's just being a fucking good, kind person, especially in
this world's climate right now, like that is a success.
Like being a good person is enough.
Being kind, being compassionate,that is enough.
(32:55):
Start feeling and tapping into this feeling of being so proud
of yourself. Pride is not like a sin.
I don't think that at all. I think it's so important to
derive this healthy sense of pride within ourselves.
And I want you to begin getting curious.
How can I get proud with myself in this moment?
How can I just tell myself what I'm doing that's good?
Or can I go to somebody else in my life who can be a reflection
(33:18):
to me and tell me what I need tohear?
And then, OK, so got the first Ccatch the second C curiosity.
And the third C is choice. This is your opportunity.
Once you catch yourself, once you get curious about the why
and what you need, the third C is going to be choice because in
this moment you have a new choice.
In this moment, you have the ability to choose differently
(33:40):
and that decision is all up to you.
What that looks like in the moment is circumstantial.
But what I will say is you have a choice and I urge you to ask
yourself, what would old programmed me choose?
Would old programmed me choose to stay up till 2:00 AM to get
this done because I feel the sense of urgency?
(34:01):
Would old me, you know, maybe put off pouring into my health
or going into the gym because I'm trying to prioritize in
relationships in my life that are not that important and I
know that in my soul. What would old programs you do
and notice and do the fucking opposite.
Opposite action is so beautiful because if you are falling into
(34:23):
habitual nature and doing thingsthat aren't good for you, by
doing the opposite and making a different choice you are
beginning to program your mind to respond differently and
eventually that will become yournew normal.
So what are the three C's? Just going to review this.
You can write your notes 1 Catch, catch yourself 2 get
(34:43):
curious and number three, choice.
You have a choice. Make a new one, make a different
one. Please act different to be
different. It feels so good.
And every time you make a choicethat's in alignment with your
values, you are going to feel sostrengthened in your sense of
self. And every single time that you
(35:04):
make a decision based on your values and your priorities, you
are going to feel just such an incredible improvement in
yourself worth and how you feel about yourself.
I have been on my sober journey.It's dry January but I'm trying
to last until my birthday, March22nd and I am feeling so proud
of myself every single time I have a mocktail or kombucha
(35:26):
instead of an alcoholic drink. I have not faltered for 2 1/2
weeks and I'm so proud of myselfbecause you know, me and my
friends do casually drink at dinner and so do and so do me
and my partner. And I promise you every single
time I make that decision to notdrink, I feel so proud of myself
because I know I am making a decision that is aligned with my
(35:47):
current values, which my currentvalue that I'm prioritizing
right now is my health. So that's why I am in the gym
everyday and why I am honestly getting to bed early and and not
drinking alcohol. And it feels so good honestly.
And every single time that I choose me and my values, I feel
(36:07):
so proud of myself. So being proud of yourself and
this whole conversation is very nuanced for me personally
because I love business and I dolove taking action towards my
goals. I think the key is just making
them sustainable and making surethat my health and my well-being
comes first above any sort of hustling going on.
(36:31):
So it's a very nuanced perspective, but for me, I feel
like I can do both. I can have both.
I can be a CEOI can be in my girl boss, and then I can also
be in my compassionate nurturing, taking care of my
body and focusing on me energy. I think I can do both.
And it's all about the energy that I put behind it and making
sure that energy is grounded andkind and in presence rather than
(36:55):
proving. And I genuinely also believe
that being proud of yourself allows you to manifest quicker,
which is like such a plus. But when you are proud of
yourself and you're keeping yourword to yourself and you're
acting on your aligned values, what happens is and you just
become incredibly magnetic because you feel so aligned with
(37:16):
your true sense of self. And when you are aligned to the
frequency of your true sense of self, you have all the
possibilities of expansion in front of you.
Like I promise you just have to try it for yourself.
But like every single time I follow my values, like I am
rewarded. I'm rewarded financially.
Like obviously that's not what we're basing our success off of,
but it does feel good to be reciprocated for what you put
(37:39):
out in the world and the work that you do.
And nothing is wrong with that. And it feels like such a
grounded energy being like I andmaking decisions that are
aligned with my values. And I am being returned in
tenfold and realizing that. And I can't tell you what to do.
You literally just have to do itfor yourself.
And notice how much better your life gets when you start acting
(38:01):
in alignment with your values and getting incredibly clear on
what it is you want and truly redefining what success is for
you. When you redefine what success
is for you and you get clear on your values, then you can just
be so proud of yourself every single time you act on your
values. And then that sense of just self
belief and self reassurance justturns into the most magnetic
(38:25):
fertile ground for you to manifest your dreams upon.
So that's what I got to say today guys.
Thank you so much for sitting with me today or going on your
walk or at the gym or listening in bed.
Wherever you are, I just hope that you are truly honoring what
it is that you desire and who you want to be.
(38:46):
And I hope that this can just bethat little extra push that you
need to be like, it does feel good.
It feels good to be in alignmentwith your values and to get
clear on what success really is for you.
And following that cause for me,like I thought I had to move to
LA, you know, like I thought I had to move to Lai thought I had
to do the whole networking thing.
(39:06):
And then I realized that isn't what is going to bring me
happiness. Like I'm a Maui girl through and
through. Like I want to travel and I want
to see the world and I want to experience cities, but I'm a
nature girl and I thought I had to go to LA or New York because
I thought that's what I needed to do to be successful.
And I am so grateful that I pushed through those limiting
(39:26):
beliefs and redefined what success is for me.
Because I'm actually happier than I've ever been in like 3-4
years. I feel like you guys can feel
it. Like in my energy, I'm like, I
feel the happiest I've been in so fucking long.
And I think it's really because of redefining success and not
comparing myself to other peopleand what they're doing and just
(39:49):
being like, what is success for me?
For me, it's the slowness and the nature and the being able to
pour into my dreams and my purpose and helping other people
and gathering women in retreats and community and moving my body
and dancing and singing. Like that's what success is to
me. Being able to do all the things
that I love. And I hope this urges you to
(40:11):
reflect post episode in your ownterms, in your own mind, in your
own journal on what it is for you and report back.
You can DM me at Sunday's KK or at skinny Dipping Diaries.
And if you like this episode, please leave a comment.
Also, if you haven't left, like a review, if you're an Apple
(40:31):
podcast girly, like leave a review.
It helps me out so incredibly much.
And you can share this on Instagram.
Show me where you're listening. Or you can go ahead and just
copy the link and send it to a friend or send it to a family
member or a coworker because that helps the algorithm so much
when you share. So share, share, share because
we're just trying to get the skinny dipping message across
(40:52):
the fucking world. And you guys know what's up.
And you guys know that I'm so devoted to this community.
I love you so, so much. And yeah, also I'm relaunching
my community and I'm so excited.I'm so excited to read
relaunched the Soul and Progressonline community.
(41:12):
People have become best friends through that community.
So it's so special. A lot of the girls came on their
retreat and you know, we do breath work, we do movement
videos, we do meditation, we do EFT tapping.
So go check that out. And yeah, just remember, get
clear on your values, babe, because as you do this, your
life will transform and you willbe so much more magnetic and
(41:34):
expansive to your desires by simply changing this one thing
that is redefining your version of success and getting so clear
on what it is you want. Because it's different for
everyone. And even what I say today, it's
going to be different for you. Honor that.
Reflect on that. OK, I love you guys.
Bye.
How silly of us to forget how rare this all is.
That quote fluttered across my Pinterest and completely stopped
me in my tracks because I realized that the things that I
were valuing were the things that society was telling me to
value. Whether that was fame or money
(00:20):
or I don't know. Just like all these things, the
the luxurious things, the material things, which don't get
me wrong, I love those things somuch.
There's nothing wrong with that.I am a Venus in Taurus.
So it's like obviously. But by using those things to
define my success, I was playingsmall and almost holding myself
(00:47):
captive in some way. What is up guys?
And welcome to skinny dipping, where we strip down and dive in
in a metaphorical way. But you know, we love the
girlies who actually love to skinny dip in real life.
But we're stripping down and diving in to deeper
vulnerability, deeper healing. Whether that's talking about
mental Health Sciences and goingabout it from a very scientific,
(01:09):
analytical point of view, or if we're talking about the woo woo
and spiritual and trying to makethese very meta, complex topics
tangible and actionable for us. This is what we do here at
Skinny to Bing. I'm so grateful if you were just
finding the episode, Hey, Girl. But of course, if you are part
of the community, you know what we do here.
(01:29):
This is the season of reclaimingwholeness.
And if you listen to any of the other episodes from this season,
this solo season that I'm doing,it really is just about tuning
in to the most whole form of ourselves by tapping in to who
we truly are in all our facets, in all our complexities, in all
(01:53):
our messiness. That's how we truly begin to
accept and fall in love with ourselves.
And when we are in love with ourselves, we are magnetic to
what it is that we desire, and we are able to move through life
with so much more compassion andgrace.
And life feels like a dance rather than a struggle because
of course there's going to be moments of doubt where we doubt
(02:14):
ourselves or feel like we want to hide certain parts of
ourselves. But every single time we feel
that way, it's actually an incredible opportunity to love
ourselves deeper. And to fall off the tracks or to
fall off of the game where you're just like, taking such
deep care of yourself with such deep compassion is sometimes
actually a good thing. Because you can't just get stuck
(02:35):
in the norm of something becausethen it takes away the
intentionality of it. So what I really love about
falling off the tracks and getting lost and feeling like I
don't know who the fuck I am, isI get to discover myself in a
new way over and over again. And each time when I meet
myself, I fall in love with myself even deeper and in a new
(02:56):
whole nuanced way. So that's really what this
season is about, of reclaiming wholeness is just noticing those
moments that are an opportunity for growth and redefining.
And today we are, Oh my God, 555, Oh my gosh, 555 on the car
that just drove by, which is thesymbol for me an Angel number of
(03:20):
change. And we are diving into change
and redefining success today. And this was the biggest switch
that I feel like was made for mein 2024.
And now I am taking these embodied lessons into 2025.
So I don't know if you guys know.
(03:40):
Oh, but by the way, before we get into it, sorry my little
ADHD mind. Just give a little subscribe or
a follow. And also, if you haven't rated
the show or done a comment or whatever, go ahead and comment
on the episode. Leave a review, leave a rating.
You know, it really helps me out.
And I just want to hear from youguys.
Like whenever you guys DM me andtell me how these episodes are
(04:00):
impacting you, it is just fuel for me to continue to keep
going. So I appreciate you guys so
much. You are inherently worthy and
I'm so excited to strip down anddive in.
I'm Kayla Rose and this is skinny dipping.
And today we're talking about redefining success.
And just to give you like a little overview, we're going to
talk about the old programmed me, the old program version of
(04:24):
myself, and how I based a lot ofmyself worth off of my hustle
and my accolades. We'll get into that and how I
transitioned to the new expandedversion of me and what I value
now instead. And then we're going to go over
the biggest shifts that you needto make in order to redefine
success. And then we are also going to go
(04:48):
over the three C's later in the episode for you to have a
system, right? A tangible, actionable system
that you can come to every single time you feel yourself
slipping back into old patterns and slipping back into old
habits. So I cultivated that all for you
guys today, and I'm so excited to dive in.
(05:09):
So let's get into it. I love you guys.
So here's the team basically, I don't know if you guys know in
astrology, the perfection years,basically in astrology we have
our perfection years, which represent kind of a theme of
life that we are encountering each year.
(05:30):
So for example, when you're 1 years old, you're in your first
house perfection year, when you're 2, your second house
perfection year, your third yearof life, your third house
perfection year. And then once you get to 12,
you're in your 12th house perfection year.
And then once you're 13, you go back to your first house
perfection year and it just kindof keeps going.
So for example, this is just really powerful to know because
(05:53):
I have seen across the board with so many of my close friends
that 23 is just notoriously a year of death, you know, and
that is because it is your 12th house perfection year.
In this 12th house perfection year, basically we are faced
with a lot of our subconscious shadows and it can be a really
(06:16):
lonely year for a lot of people.But I think that loneliness is
really there to allow you to explore your depths and allow
you to really turn inward, especially after years of being
in high school or in college where you're surrounded by a lot
of people. All of a sudden, you're 23,
you're kind of growing out of that and you're beginning to
maybe feel alone. So with that being said, if
(06:38):
you're in that space right now or you know, you're just
wondering what your perfection year is, you can go ahead and
look that up on your specific age.
For me personally, the whole point why I'm telling you this
is because for me personally, in2024, my 25th year around the
sun, I am an Aries. If you guys don't know, Aries
with the Scorpio rising and a Gemini moon.
(07:00):
I'm born on March 22nd, 1999, somy 25th year, my 25th solar
return this year that I've been encountering is my second house
perfection year. So that means I'm dealing with
themes of the second house. So what does that mean for me
personally? The second house represents
values. That is the number one thing
(07:22):
that I feel like it represents, as well as the way that you
relate to the material world andyour material possessions, your
money, your finances, and how italigns with your values.
So I didn't even realize this was going on because the thing
about astrology is it's very intuitive.
You don't have to sit down and figure it all out and you don't
(07:43):
have to be in control of what's going on in your astrology chart
because you actually can't be. And instead, it's so much more
beautiful to just acknowledge that you will intuitively go
through these cycles, through these astrological cycles, and
you don't even have to think about it or force it or
anything. It just happens.
So this is what happened to me with my second house perfection
(08:06):
year. All of a sudden, my values have
become incredibly redefined. And you know, it's not a
complete 180 because I feel likeI was already gently moving
towards these values. But what I've been really
focusing on this year is refinement.
How can I refine who I am and what I value and where I spend
(08:26):
my time in order to serve myselfand my highest purpose in the
best way possible? So for me, this last year was
truly about redefining my values.
What I find valuable and value defining work is so incredibly
important guys, because basically, if you know your
values, you know where you should prioritize your time and
(08:49):
your energy and just in general your thoughts like what is worth
your time and energy and realizing you only have room for
so much, so might as well prioritize your values.
So for me, because I was transiting my second house
perfection year, the biggest shift that I made from 2024 to
2025 was redefining my concept of success and looking at what
(09:12):
society told me was success, looking at what influences in my
life told me what success was and really reflecting and being
like, are these my values? So let's talk about the shift
old programmed me. I was raised off of valuing my
(09:33):
worth and my success based on grades and accolades, right?
It started when I was very youngin school where the way that I
felt like I was respected by my family was directly coincided
with my grades and my intelligence and how well I did
(09:57):
in school and how many dance classes I did and if I got solos
and just like really defining success off of these very
physical material items. And, you know, it worked for me
at the time because it kept me incredibly motivated and really
did serve me well to a degree because not going to lie, turned
(10:19):
out to be a very intelligent young woman.
And I loved education and I enjoyed school and I wanted to
get good grades. But what happens is it's kind of
all fun and games when you're young, right?
The grades, the accolades, it's like, oh, it's that it's that
high that we get and that approval from others that we
(10:41):
crave. But then as we get older and we
transfer to being a young adult in our 20s and all of a sudden
I'm like, OK, the amount of followers I have defines who I
am. The number that I have in my
bank account defines who I am. The number of friends that I
have define who I am. And all of a sudden I'm basing
(11:02):
my life and my values and my sense of self worth off of this
quantifiable scale of how many friends, followers, and money in
my bank account that I have. And the truth is all those
things are very cyclical and very fleeting.
And you can have it one minute and not have it the next.
(11:23):
And I would get so down on myself when I saw my bank
account and it was lower than ever before.
Or when I looked around and I was like, wow, I only have like
a couple good friends. Or I was like, Oh my gosh, my
followers aren't growing and getting caught up in all these
things that transferred from me being raised, seeing my value
(11:44):
and my worth based off grades and accolades and approval from
others. So I just realized this wasn't
fulfilling me at all. I realized that it was actually
taking away from my life becauseit it was making me feel bad
about myself. And when you feel bad about
yourself, when you're in that shame spiral, when you're in
(12:06):
that negative talk thought loop spiral, it is so incredibly hard
to actually work towards your purpose and to pour into the
love you have for yourself or toeven like get your ass up and go
to the gym because your sense ofself worth defines the type of
devotion that you have. And again, remember, discipline
(12:27):
is doing what you want to do because you need to prove that
you're good enough. And devotion is doing it because
you know you are worthy of taking action on your desires.
And I think if you don't think that you are worthy, you won't
have that devotion to your purpose, to your relationships,
to your best life, to your health, to just who you want to
be and the world that you want to create for yourself.
(12:50):
So I definitely think that building up your sense of self
worth is so important. And that's why our sense of self
worth can no longer be defined by these flighty, quantifiable
resources like followers, money,amount of friends, the amount of
trips you take, how nice are allthe things that you have, right?
(13:15):
Consumerism is like literally ruining the fucking world.
Like on like an environmental scale, the pressure to have the
new thing, to get the new makeup, to have the thing that
works and fixes it all and blursyour skin and does the whole
damn thing. The pressure is crazy and it's
subliminally in front of our faces constantly and it's
(13:38):
ruining the environment, but it's also ruining our sense of
self worth and it's also allowing us to misplace our
values. And I think, you know, we don't
have to get super like politicalor in the social landscape, but
it definitely it relates to all of that because the truth is
that the people in power, the people in power, right?
(13:59):
Like the 1%, the people in power, they benefit off of us
not feeling good about ourselves.
They benefit financially off of us being addicted to materialism
and consumerism and thinking that we are not good enough on
our own. That narrative works for them
and for me. I was so ready to break this
(14:19):
model of what I valued, the programmed version of me and
what she valued. And it happened so naturally
overtime. I didn't have to like sit down
and force myself to do the shadow work.
It just came, slowly but surely,and it was that day that I saw
that quote. How silly of us to forget how
(14:41):
rare this all is that I realizedthat I was beginning to truly
value the things that mattered in life.
So now the new expanded version of me shifted my perception from
basing my values and my worth off of quantity and shifted that
to quality. So measuring my life in this
(15:03):
qualitative way. So for me now, luxury, for me
now, what it looks like to be rich is slow mornings.
It's getting to move my body andeating healthy food.
It's getting to jump in the ocean.
It's getting to nurture the depths of my relationships.
Even if I only have a couple good friends, knowing that the
(15:26):
depths of the relationships are so incredibly strong.
The new expanded me. My values are placed on the
purpose around my work, not exactly the exact number that
I'm receiving back or the followers that I'm getting.
I'm focusing on the purpose of my work and helping other
people. And for me, when I switched this
(15:47):
mindset of what I valued from this quantitative way of
thinking to this qualitative wayof thinking, my life completely
changed because I realized that,yeah, like what I said before,
like me eating my avocado toast and doing a little Pilates
workout or going to the gym and then going on a walk with my dog
and then jumping in the water with my boyfriend and then
(16:09):
getting to go on a walk with my mom.
Like, that makes me feel so fucking rich.
That makes me feel like I'm living in fucking luxury because
I have the time and the energy and the health to actually spend
time with people who actually fucking matter to me.
First of all. Like valuing my family more,
valuing my partner more, spending time with our dog.
(16:32):
Like spending time in our house,having the time to move slowly
and not being in a rush. That is luxury to me now.
Not being in urgency is a luxury.
Being able to take my time makesme feel like, Oh my gosh, I am
so fucking rich. I am so fucking lucky to be able
to live this life where I get towake up and take my God damn
(16:55):
time. Because the old programmed
version of me, she thought that urgency, constantly being in a
rush and being busy was a sign that I was successful and that I
was needed and that I was important.
And now, Oh my God, the sun coming on me.
If you're watching the video on Spotlight, Spotify, just saying,
the sun coming on me right now, I feel like it's such a
confirmation and affirmation that now the way that I value my
(17:20):
life is so much grander and makes me feel like I am so rich.
I am so lucky. And that is the fucking
abundance mindset. When you literally see a flower
and you're like, how lucky am I to see this beautiful flower
right now? When butterflies flutter by me
on my morning walk, I'm just like, how fucking lucky am I
(17:42):
that I get to see nature live just abundantly and freely.
This is so amazing. I am so rich.
I am so lucky being able to callmy long distance best friends
and just laugh with them and realize that, you know, I might
not have a lot of fucking friends or a huge fucking friend
(18:03):
group. But what I do have is people who
really care about me and I really care about them.
And we have the depths of a reciprocal relationship.
And now that's what new expandedme values.
And I encourage you to look at the values in your life and how
can you tell your values right where you're placing your time,
where you're placing your energy, where are you even
(18:24):
placing your thoughts? Because when I realized, like I,
for example, would get caught upwith old friendships that
weren't serving me and I would let them take up space in my
mind. Like these situations were
living rent free in my head. I was like, this is not where my
values lie. And as soon as I switched my
values, the thoughts actually shut up because I realized I
(18:46):
want my brain to be thinking about my purpose, my work, my
creativity, my art. This is where I want my mental
space to be going. And of course, you can't always
like control your thoughts and you shouldn't shame yourself.
But the more that you pour into the values that you do want to
define as your version of success, the more your brain
just gets used to it and gets used to only thinking about
(19:09):
those things because the brain loves familiarity.
So the more that you think aboutsomething, the more that
momentum will kick in and you will just continue to think
about it. So now I'm just like really
clear, my health is the number one value.
My purpose is also up there in the top values, my family, my
close relationships, and my relationship to myself and
(19:30):
Spirit and God. These are the things that are
important to me now and it has made my life so much, so much
better. Honestly like redefining success
made my life so much better for all the girlies.
Trying to get their boyfriend off of vaping.
I feel you. And this is the secret.
This is what we're doing in 2025.
(19:52):
We are. Gifting them ripple or.
At least that's what I did. I literally think Ripple is so
amazing there are on a mission to get the world off of nicotine
and in 202563 million adults in the US alone.
Struggle with nicotine addictionbut with.
Ripples 0 nicotine diffusers. We can help the people that we.
(20:14):
Love get off of this addiction and find a replacement habit.
And they're also 100% recyclable, vegan friendly, and
they have plant based ingredients and all natural
aromas. And honestly?
I've tried them and they. Taste amazing, which is such a
plus and I want to give you guys15% off your.
(20:34):
Order with the code all. Caps skinny dipping I'm going to
link it below the website but it's the ripple code.com and
again you can use the code all caps skinny dipping for 15% off
and tell them that we sent you and go get this gift for your
loved ones. Because Ripple has shown that
(20:55):
this works. So if you are listening to this
and you're like, OK, Kayla, thatsounds great.
I want to do that too. How do I do this?
We're going to get into it. Literally in my notes, I have
rant on what success is to me now and what success really is.
And I didn't even have to plan it.
Like that was just straight frommy heart.
(21:16):
Like I really feel like that's what success is.
Success is slow mornings. Being able to take your time,
being able to pour into your health, being able to pour into
your movement. My creativity, my purpose, my
craft, my deep relationship, having people that I love,
loving my animals, taking care of the environment, being in
nature. That's what feeling rich and
(21:36):
luxurious fucking feels like, baby.
The 1st shift that I need you tomake in order to embody this
energy that we're talking about right now is proving.
You're going to go from proving to presence.
Listen to that again. The first thing that you're
going to do in order to begin toreprogram your mind, in order to
(21:57):
see the world in this qualitative way, in this
abundant appreciative gratitude ways.
You're going to go from proving that you have something to prove
to presence, just truly being who you are meant to be.
So whenever you catch yourself trying to prove who you are to
(22:18):
yourself, to somebody else, to society, to your workplace, to
your family members, to your friends, whoever it is, if
you're noticing yourself being in the mode of proving, just
catch yourself. Just notice and be like, oh, I'm
really like trying to prove right now.
What am I trying to prove? And getting curious with that is
(22:38):
going to be the key here. So you're going from proving who
you are to presence. And every time that you catch
yourself, you're just going to realize like, OK, like, how can
I be present? Instead of trying to prove to
somebody that I'm smart enough, that I'm beautiful enough, that
I'm important enough, that I'm valuable enough, instead of
proving to somebody else, why don't I just be who I am?
(23:02):
And start reminding yourself, saying it out loud, writing it
in your journal, just start to notice who are you really?
And you'll start naming the qualities that you love about
yourself, right? And just being like at my core,
I'm a compassionate, loving person.
I care a lot. I love the people in my life.
I have this talent, I have this artistic ability.
(23:24):
I have these ideas I want to bring into the world.
I want to help people in this way.
And just by bringing yourself back to who you are and those
qualities that you possess and reminding yourself who you are
at your core, who you were when you were a child, who you are.
When you are grounded in the deep, knowing that you know who
(23:45):
the fuck that you are, that's when you go from trying to prove
who you are to somebody else to being in the presence of who you
already are. And realizing, of course, it's
good to like grow and change andshift and evolve, but you don't
have to do anything of that. Like you don't have to do any of
that. You are inherently worthy
exactly as you are. And you already possess all the
qualities that you need to live out your greatest life.
(24:08):
You already do. You already have the capability.
You just need to remind yourself.
And that's how you go from proving to presence #2 the shift
that I need you to make is instead of hustle, I want us to
move towards a paste, sustainable action.
Because the thing about hustle is that it leads to burnout,
which I've been in that positionso many times of feeling like
(24:31):
I'm not good enough and then hustling really hard and trying
to prove who I am to myself, to others through working really
fucking hard and hustling my assoff.
And then I get burnt out and I'll get physically ill or sick.
My immune system will be like, girl, we're done.
Like we're done. We have nothing else in US.
And then I fall into feeling badabout myself.
(24:53):
And then it's just like this vicious cycle that never ends.
And by catching it in the beginning and being like, I
don't even have to hustle in the1st place because I don't have
anything to prove. That's when you ask yourself,
OK, but I do want to take action, right?
Like, I don't want to just like,sit on my ass and fucking do
nothing. Like I'm the type of person who
I do love creating. I do love taking action.
(25:15):
I do love the tangible steps to creating my dreams and putting
the ideas that, you know, come into my little mind into the
physical 3D World and creating things.
So we need to take action, but making that action paced and
sustainable is what is going to actually give you that long term
(25:36):
success. And you can do it without
burning yourself out. You can reach the career goals
that you want to reach. I've realized this.
This has been the most beautifulrealization because I thought if
I wanted to be successful in my career, I had it.
I had to grind right? Then I realized I was like, no,
I can actually do it in this paste and sustainable way.
(25:58):
And when you do this, it actually leads to the most long
term success. For example, I, you know, for
example, like I just always trust so deeply that all the
projects that I have will happenat the perfect time.
Like I start coming up with the ideas sooner than I start acting
on them. But for example, with the
retreats, I really had wanted todo the retreats for so long.
(26:22):
And it was just in that moment that I was like, this is the
time that I moved into it. And I just started, you know,
tripping away at those sustainable, actionable steps.
And it just happened. And that's the thing.
If if you just keep putting 1 foot in front of the other, like
it's going to happen for you, you don't have to rush.
(26:42):
Like the ego is always in a rushand an urgency because that's
just how it is. It's just more living in that
like lack and, and that fear mindset.
So in order to be in the abundance mindset, which is the
energy that we want to put off into the world, obviously,
right? Because that is the energy that
we get back from the world. It's so important to be like,
(27:04):
there is no rush. I have all the time I need.
All I need to do is put one footin front of the other.
And as you do that, I promise that is how you accomplish your
goals in a sustainable way. And it feels so much better.
Like along the way, it feels so much better, OK.
The third shift is from lack to appreciation.
(27:26):
And this one has to do with justlike your daily life.
Like, OK, imagine you're not in the exact place that you want to
be in your life, right? Maybe like financially or career
wise or location wise or relationship wise, whatever it
is. But there is something in your
life that is so special and is so unique to you, and you need
(27:48):
to just start noticing those things.
Whether it's that daily walk that you go on, whether it's
that best friend that you get tocall that just always puts you
in a good mood. Whether it's your dog or your
cat that always makes you feel loved.
Whether it's that book series that just makes you feel alive,
or whether it's an instrument that just brings you back to
yourself or a piece of art that always makes you feel connected
(28:10):
to yourself. You need to begin looking at
those really small things as so fucking special.
When you begin seeing the magic and the mundane and the special
in the small moments, that is when everything begins to light
up and you are more magnetic because of it.
Because you were in that state of truly appreciating how rare
this all is. How rare.
Seeing the butterfly fly by right now as I'm recording this,
(28:33):
that is so incredibly rare. Drinking my lemon water in the
morning and being like, how lucky I am I to have clean water
to drink. Like how lucky am I to have food
to eat? How lucky am I to have this
voice to speak? How lucky am I to have this body
to move? Like once you start beginning to
tap into that appreciation for all the little things that you
(28:56):
overlook, that's when your life fucking changes.
When you go from proving to presence, hustle to paste,
sustainable action and from lackto appreciation.
And now you know these things, right?
Life is so rare. May we never forget it.
May we never forget it at this point, after this episode, just
beginning to notice all the things that you sometimes
overlook and seeing it as so incredibly special.
(29:17):
And of course, there is a difficulty in reprogramming,
right? Because a lot of our mindsets
are so incredibly habitual. So these are the three CS that
I'm going to have you tap into anytime you want to change your
mindset because of course, you're not going to listen to
this and everything's going to change right away, right?
You might start doing this. Be in this energy post podcast.
(29:40):
You feel inspired, you're reallytapping in for the next week and
then you may have something happen and feel like you kind of
fall off again and feeling that lack or feeling that proving or
feeling that hustle. And whenever that happens, know
that that is totally normal and a part of the process.
And actually healing isn't a line and it's not a circle.
(30:02):
I think I said this last week, it's also a spiral and you have
to keep coming back to lessons over and over again to
rediscover them in a new way andlearn more about yourself in a
new way again. So it's actually really special
that we get this opportunity over and over again to learn.
These are the three CS that you are going to tap into anytime
you feel like you are falling into old beliefs or old
(30:25):
mindsets. And this is how you're going to
shift those mindsets to the expanded version of you.
Like like that. OK, the first C is catch.
OK, like you're catching a ball.No, me, I'm like sports.
No, but actually like you are going to just notice catch
yourself in the moment and literally say out loud, Oh my
(30:46):
gosh, I'm improving right now. Oh my gosh, I'm in urgency right
now. Oh my gosh, I'm in lack mode
right now. Oh my gosh, I'm in not noticing
the small special moments right now.
Just catch yourself. The first C is catch.
When you catch yourself doing these things, you actually begin
to consciously unprogrammed these old beliefs because you
(31:08):
are catching these beliefs and being like, are you actually
true? Should I be actually falling
back into these thought patterns?
And then your heart and your soul can respond and be like, no
girl, these, these beliefs, these thought patterns, they are
no longer serving us. And just by catching it, you
already begin to unweave it. The second C is curiosity.
(31:30):
So after we catch, then we get curious.
We ask ourselves, why am I feeling this way?
What is it stemming from? And what need isn't being met
within me and how can I meet this need for myself?
And you know, usually, like if we're in hustling or proving or
lack, like maybe we are needing some sort of approval, like some
(31:53):
need to just tell us you're doing OK, you're doing a good
job. I'm proud of you.
And that's what I really need you to get into is noticing what
do I need? And most likely in this moment,
you need to feel proud of yourself or you need to go to
your partner or your friend or afamily member that you trust and
be like, what am I doing, right?And this is an exercise that
(32:13):
everybody could do to go to somebody in their life and just
ask them, what am I doing right?And this could actually be a
journal entry that you could do yourself.
Just ask yourself in your journal and reflect on what are
you doing that's right in your life?
What are you doing that's great in your life?
What are you doing that's important and valuable in your
life? And just begin to tap into all
(32:34):
the different things. It doesn't have to be big grand
successes. No, it can be the smallest
little things that you are proudof within yourself, whether
that's just being a fucking good, kind person, especially in
this world's climate right now, like that is a success.
Like being a good person is enough.
Being kind, being compassionate,that is enough.
(32:55):
Start feeling and tapping into this feeling of being so proud
of yourself. Pride is not like a sin.
I don't think that at all. I think it's so important to
derive this healthy sense of pride within ourselves.
And I want you to begin getting curious.
How can I get proud with myself in this moment?
How can I just tell myself what I'm doing that's good?
Or can I go to somebody else in my life who can be a reflection
(33:18):
to me and tell me what I need tohear?
And then, OK, so got the first Ccatch the second C curiosity.
And the third C is choice. This is your opportunity.
Once you catch yourself, once you get curious about the why
and what you need, the third C is going to be choice because in
this moment you have a new choice.
In this moment, you have the ability to choose differently
(33:40):
and that decision is all up to you.
What that looks like in the moment is circumstantial.
But what I will say is you have a choice and I urge you to ask
yourself, what would old programmed me choose?
Would old programmed me choose to stay up till 2:00 AM to get
this done because I feel the sense of urgency?
(34:01):
Would old me, you know, maybe put off pouring into my health
or going into the gym because I'm trying to prioritize in
relationships in my life that are not that important and I
know that in my soul. What would old programs you do
and notice and do the fucking opposite.
Opposite action is so beautiful because if you are falling into
(34:23):
habitual nature and doing thingsthat aren't good for you, by
doing the opposite and making a different choice you are
beginning to program your mind to respond differently and
eventually that will become yournew normal.
So what are the three C's? Just going to review this.
You can write your notes 1 Catch, catch yourself 2 get
(34:43):
curious and number three, choice.
You have a choice. Make a new one, make a different
one. Please act different to be
different. It feels so good.
And every time you make a choicethat's in alignment with your
values, you are going to feel sostrengthened in your sense of
self. And every single time that you
(35:04):
make a decision based on your values and your priorities, you
are going to feel just such an incredible improvement in
yourself worth and how you feel about yourself.
I have been on my sober journey.It's dry January but I'm trying
to last until my birthday, March22nd and I am feeling so proud
of myself every single time I have a mocktail or kombucha
(35:26):
instead of an alcoholic drink. I have not faltered for 2 1/2
weeks and I'm so proud of myselfbecause you know, me and my
friends do casually drink at dinner and so do and so do me
and my partner. And I promise you every single
time I make that decision to notdrink, I feel so proud of myself
because I know I am making a decision that is aligned with my
(35:47):
current values, which my currentvalue that I'm prioritizing
right now is my health. So that's why I am in the gym
everyday and why I am honestly getting to bed early and and not
drinking alcohol. And it feels so good honestly.
And every single time that I choose me and my values, I feel
(36:07):
so proud of myself. So being proud of yourself and
this whole conversation is very nuanced for me personally
because I love business and I dolove taking action towards my
goals. I think the key is just making
them sustainable and making surethat my health and my well-being
comes first above any sort of hustling going on.
(36:31):
So it's a very nuanced perspective, but for me, I feel
like I can do both. I can have both.
I can be a CEOI can be in my girl boss, and then I can also
be in my compassionate nurturing, taking care of my
body and focusing on me energy. I think I can do both.
And it's all about the energy that I put behind it and making
sure that energy is grounded andkind and in presence rather than
(36:55):
proving. And I genuinely also believe
that being proud of yourself allows you to manifest quicker,
which is like such a plus. But when you are proud of
yourself and you're keeping yourword to yourself and you're
acting on your aligned values, what happens is and you just
become incredibly magnetic because you feel so aligned with
(37:16):
your true sense of self. And when you are aligned to the
frequency of your true sense of self, you have all the
possibilities of expansion in front of you.
Like I promise you just have to try it for yourself.
But like every single time I follow my values, like I am
rewarded. I'm rewarded financially.
Like obviously that's not what we're basing our success off of,
but it does feel good to be reciprocated for what you put
(37:39):
out in the world and the work that you do.
And nothing is wrong with that. And it feels like such a
grounded energy being like I andmaking decisions that are
aligned with my values. And I am being returned in
tenfold and realizing that. And I can't tell you what to do.
You literally just have to do itfor yourself.
And notice how much better your life gets when you start acting
(38:01):
in alignment with your values and getting incredibly clear on
what it is you want and truly redefining what success is for
you. When you redefine what success
is for you and you get clear on your values, then you can just
be so proud of yourself every single time you act on your
values. And then that sense of just self
belief and self reassurance justturns into the most magnetic
(38:25):
fertile ground for you to manifest your dreams upon.
So that's what I got to say today guys.
Thank you so much for sitting with me today or going on your
walk or at the gym or listening in bed.
Wherever you are, I just hope that you are truly honoring what
it is that you desire and who you want to be.
(38:46):
And I hope that this can just bethat little extra push that you
need to be like, it does feel good.
It feels good to be in alignmentwith your values and to get
clear on what success really is for you.
And following that cause for me,like I thought I had to move to
LA, you know, like I thought I had to move to Lai thought I had
to do the whole networking thing.
(39:06):
And then I realized that isn't what is going to bring me
happiness. Like I'm a Maui girl through and
through. Like I want to travel and I want
to see the world and I want to experience cities, but I'm a
nature girl and I thought I had to go to LA or New York because
I thought that's what I needed to do to be successful.
And I am so grateful that I pushed through those limiting
(39:26):
beliefs and redefined what success is for me.
Because I'm actually happier than I've ever been in like 3-4
years. I feel like you guys can feel
it. Like in my energy, I'm like, I
feel the happiest I've been in so fucking long.
And I think it's really because of redefining success and not
comparing myself to other peopleand what they're doing and just
(39:49):
being like, what is success for me?
For me, it's the slowness and the nature and the being able to
pour into my dreams and my purpose and helping other people
and gathering women in retreats and community and moving my body
and dancing and singing. Like that's what success is to
me. Being able to do all the things
that I love. And I hope this urges you to
(40:11):
reflect post episode in your ownterms, in your own mind, in your
own journal on what it is for you and report back.
You can DM me at Sunday's KK or at skinny Dipping Diaries.
And if you like this episode, please leave a comment.
Also, if you haven't left, like a review, if you're an Apple
(40:31):
podcast girly, like leave a review.
It helps me out so incredibly much.
And you can share this on Instagram.
Show me where you're listening. Or you can go ahead and just
copy the link and send it to a friend or send it to a family
member or a coworker because that helps the algorithm so much
when you share. So share, share, share because
we're just trying to get the skinny dipping message across
(40:52):
the fucking world. And you guys know what's up.
And you guys know that I'm so devoted to this community.
I love you so, so much. And yeah, also I'm relaunching
my community and I'm so excited.I'm so excited to read
relaunched the Soul and Progressonline community.
(41:12):
People have become best friends through that community.
So it's so special. A lot of the girls came on their
retreat and you know, we do breath work, we do movement
videos, we do meditation, we do EFT tapping.
So go check that out. And yeah, just remember, get
clear on your values, babe, because as you do this, your
life will transform and you willbe so much more magnetic and
(41:34):
expansive to your desires by simply changing this one thing
that is redefining your version of success and getting so clear
on what it is you want. Because it's different for
everyone. And even what I say today, it's
going to be different for you. Honor that.
Reflect on that. OK, I love you guys.
Bye.
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