Skinny Dipping Summer 001 || unexpected things that healed me- this is how i pulled myself out of a dark place

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I feel like when the birds are out, they've shown that in
psychology, it shows our nervoussystem that we are safe because
the birds wouldn't be speaking like this if they didn't feel
safe. So biologically, we are wired to
feel safe around birds. And that's why I feel like we
should record outside for this season, right?
Because it's skinny to bring summer.
Skinny dipping summer is for thegirlies who are willing to be

(00:22):
curious, for the girlies who arewilling to be adventurous and to
pursue their freedom and their dreams and what they truly
desire. This summer is fucking for you.
And if you don't feel like you're that version of you yet,
but you feel like that version is inside of you, wait for these
episodes because they are going to unlock a different part of
you. Welcome to skinny dipping

(00:43):
summer. I'm Kayla Rose, your host.
Let's strip down and dive in, shall we?
Recently, I have been acquiring such a deep gratitude for the
ability to see the beauty in thesmallest of things, where this
younger version of me in her early 20s really thought that I

(01:04):
needed to completely travel the world, which I love to do, don't
get me wrong. But I thought that I needed to
do those things in order to be interesting, in order to be
cool, in order for life to be exciting and fulfilling.
And the truth is, I'm learning through the process of this
current time in my life that literally the tiniest things

(01:26):
like having a street that you love to walk on with your dog
every single day, or having a tree that you love to lay under,
like this one that I'm sitting under right now.
I spend so much time just appreciating the small things
being so impactful. And I just feel like it's

(01:47):
inspired me so much. But let me tell you, it wasn't
like this in the beginning of the year.
I feel like I hit the biggest contraction that I had in a long
time for my mental health, mostly because I was feeling the
lowest in my motivation. I was feeling the lowest in my
bank account. And that financial stress was
creating kind of like a stuckness and depression with
him in me. That financial doubt was

(02:09):
creating this, you know, stuckness and this avoidance and
this just, I don't know, it was almost like a minor depression
within me. I felt like I couldn't move.
I felt like I couldn't act. And I also had the most
heightened doubt. I'm not going to lie, like I'm
so grateful for this podcast, but there are so many days that

(02:29):
I have doubt. It doesn't matter how many
people see me as successful on the outside because yeah, I'm
really hard on myself. And when I'm really hard on
myself, it makes me more stuck. And when I'm more stuck, I don't
take action towards the things that I desire.
And when I don't take action towards the things that I
desire, what ends up happening is I don't feel good about

(02:50):
myself because I don't feel proud of myself.
So I was in this vicious cycle in the beginning of the year,
but I'm going to tell you exactly how today I got out of
that funk because now I genuinely feel like I've been in
the best place. Oh my God, my boyfriend the
other day, he was like, Kayla, I'm so proud of you.
You literally pulled yourself out of a place that you were
feeling like you couldn't come back from, like you were at such

(03:13):
a low. And now look at you.
You're literally the best that I've seen you in years.
And I literally started crying when he said that to me, 'cause
it felt so beautiful to be recognized in that way because I
did the fucking work. And the truth is, the work
works. Because if you want to be in
that stuckness and you want to sit in that avoidance and sit on
your ass and not do the work to actually move through this

(03:33):
process, you will stay exactly where you were.
And I would have stayed exactly where I was, but I think this
gave me an opportunity to recommit to myself in a
completely new way. And that's why I always say
that, you know, it's one of my most viral Tik Toks ever.
And I still stand by it to this day where it's like, it is
important to fall off the tracksbecause every time you fall off

(03:56):
the tracks for your mental health or your business or your
career, even your, you know, financial situation, you fall
off the tracks. You don't, you don't feel
confident in your position in life.
When this happens, it is actually an opportunity for you
to redesign the way that you do your life because obviously the
things that were working for youin the past aren't working
anymore. And that's just a part of

(04:17):
growing up and getting older andchanging and evolving.
Like, of course, the things thatused to work for you don't work
anymore, right? It's just like, it would be so
silly to assume that the processes of your past would
function for you with this current self, with this new
life, Especially if you want something different in your

(04:37):
life. You want a different career, you
want a different friend group, you want to live in a different
place. Maybe you want a different
relationship. Maybe you want to be in a
relationship, you want to be single, whatever it is.
Maybe you want something different.
How can you do different when you keep things the same?
You can't, you physically can't.So that's why disruption comes
into our lives. That's why these lows hit.
That's why these contraction periods hit.

(04:57):
So we can really look at our life and be like, what am I
doing that I that is working andwhat am I doing that's not
working? And what feels good in my body
now? And can I honor that?
Can I stop holding myself to thesame expectations of myself
three years ago, five years ago,one year ago, one month ago, two
weeks ago? Like, I am constantly evolving
and I need to allow myself to dothat without judgement.

(05:22):
And if you feel like you're in afunk, I encourage you to come to
this episode because I might tell you exactly what I did,
exactly what I did, and why it worked for me.
And I know that it was these things that I physically did,
the actions that I took that worked, these actions that I
took created the internal shift.But I couldn't, I don't, I don't

(05:42):
feel like I could have done the internal shift without these
outside resources because we need to be resourced, right?
When we are in these lows, when we're in these contractions, we
don't have to think that we haveto do it all by ourselves.
We need to be resourced. We need to reach out to mentors
and community and spaces that can heal us because we shouldn't
be expected to do it alone. And yet for some fucking reason,

(06:06):
within our individualistic society, specifically in
America, I know it's like different for my listeners all
over the world, but specificallyin Western society, there is
such this emphasis on individualgrowth.
And the truth is, you shouldn't have to do it all alone.
And in fact, doing it all alone and isolating yourself in that

(06:26):
way is contradicting what we actually want you to do, which
is being more connected to yourself and to the world and to
the community and others. Being lonely is one of the main
reasons that people commit suicide, just truly feeling
fucking alone. And it's one of the main reasons
that people are depressed. And I think for some fucked up,

(06:49):
twisted reason, you know, the people who are in power, they
want us to feel alone, you know?And I feel like it is such a
protest to the current world that we are living in by saying,
I refuse to heal alone and I also refuse to heal in silence
because we lose people in silence.
So what we need to do is heal out loud.

(07:10):
That doesn't mean you have to have a podcast or do any of
that, but it means reaching out to your community.
It means going to the breath work classes that could
potentially change your life like it did mine.
It means getting help from a therapist that you really
resonate with. Maybe it's a somatic therapist
and you really resonate with that material that they use to
heal. You don't have to do it alone

(07:32):
and you actually shouldn't. And that's what I really learned
during during this process. And I'm gonna tell you the
survival guide for when you feellike you're in a contraction and
you want to get through to that place of your next expansion.
Because what do we always say with every contraction comes an
expansion? We are like breath.
We contract, we expand. Like everything in nature, the

(07:53):
moon has its different phases and baby, so do we.
So I'm so excited to dive into this with you guys today.
And honestly, I missed you. I've had such an incredible
resistance to getting on the micbecause when I don't get on the
mic for a while, like, I don't know, I forget how much I love
it. I forget how easy it flows to
me. And yeah, I, I had a lot of

(08:14):
resistance, but I finally feel like I collected my thoughts
enough to dive into the skinny dipping summer.
And I'm really excited for this season because last season was a
lot of guest episodes. And honestly, I heard your
feedback. You enjoyed the episodes, but
you like the solo episodes that you can like take notes on.
And today is one of those episodes.
And I swear to God, every singleepisode of this skinny dipping

(08:35):
season is going to be on a topicthat I find highly fascinating,
highly relatable to my life. I'll be, you know, pulling from
different modalities, different experiences that I've had,
different spiritual downloads, scientific resources.
I want to just really get to thecore of what I enjoy.
And I love being a researcher. I love putting my thoughts on

(08:56):
the page and connecting all the dots.
And I want to do with, I want todo that with you guys basically.
So that is what skinny dipping summer is going to be.
And I just want us to feel lit up and inspired and more
ourselves when we leave listening to these episodes.
So if you found this episode today, maybe you needed it.

(09:18):
And I hope, I hope something deeply resonates.
So let's strip down and dive in.If you guys don't know me, if
you're new, I'm Kayla Rose at Sundays KK at Skinny Dipping
Diaries, wherever you're listening to the podcast right
now, what I want you to do is like actually like take a little
cute picture of you on the walk or you on your drive or you on a
hike or wherever you're listening to the podcast.

(09:39):
Also, Spotify has video, by the way, YouTube.
I think I'm going to do a video if you like to watch a video,
But basically, I want you guys to take a little pic.
I want you to tag me at Sundays KK at Skinny Dipping Diaries or
I want you to share this episodewith somebody that you love
because it really helps me and the podcast.
And you know, I really want to continue this podcast, but like

(10:00):
I said, I've had more doubt thanever.
And I really do believe that youhave the most amount of doubt
and it gets extra sticky and extra resistant, like an extra
just, it's just more of a struggle, you know, right before
things get extra good, right before you take off.
I see that with so many people who I look up to, so many

(10:20):
celebrities or influencers or creators or authors that are
being seen in the way that I want to be seen for their work
and what they do. I see that it gets really
fucking hard for them right before.
And I've had a lot of doubt. Should I still do this?
Is this really where my path is going?

(10:40):
But honestly, there's a little whisper and that's, this is how
you know, it's your intuition. There's this little whisper in
the back of my heart that says keep fucking going.
And the truth is, if it's your calling, it'll keep calling.
And I want you to remember that for whatever you're feeling in
life, whatever doubt that you are experiencing, if you're

(11:02):
feeling extra doubt, extra resistance, it's probably
because you're going into a slingshot moment of the arrow,
the back before the shoot forward.
And it's like if you have that little whisper and your calling
keeps fucking calling, pay attention to it.
I'm begging you. I'm literally sitting here
begging you to pay attention to your calling when it calls,
'cause it's going to keep calling until you pick up that

(11:23):
phone answer and say, hey bitch,I'm here for you.
I'm ready to take action. But the truth is it's really
hard to take action when you're in a really low space.
And that's the problem that I was experiencing earlier this
year is I felt so stuck and in avoidance and in self sabotage
mode because I felt so low and unenergized.
And I had to get out of all of that and feel more myself than

(11:46):
ever and feel lit up within the inside so that I could take
inspired action and be here today with you guys to do this
skinny dipping summer. I had to go through this entire
process. I'm going to walk you guys
through. So take, I'm going to take you
back beginning of the year, a major contraction, like I said,
lowest motivation I've ever. Let me take you back to the
beginning of the year. Let me take you back to January.

(12:09):
I don't have seasonal winter depression because I live in
Hawaii. But I will say that winter still
is a time of solitude and reflection.
No matter what the weather is, Istill feel that internal shift.
So bringing you back to January,I was literally at the lowest
motivation I've ever had and at the same time the lowest in my
bank account. And this was a new experience

(12:29):
for me because I saved up a lot of money at an early age.
I'll give you guys some back story.
At like 19 years old, 20 years old, I started doing wedding
photography and here in Hawaii on Maui, wedding photography is
bank and Loki. I have this gift for
photography. I don't know if you guys know
that, but it's kind of a gift that I have giving people

(12:49):
direction, creating beautiful photos, capturing love.
Like I'm really passionate aboutit.
And basically I worked really hard when I was in my early 20s
and you know, saved up over 50 kmi bank account.
I was like nobody my age that I'm around like has this kind of
money. And I went and I traveled,
traveled to South America, traveled to Europe multiple
times, traveled to Indonesia, traveled all over the US and you

(13:14):
know, I've really enjoyed my money.
I love to travel. I love to do all the things that
I like to do, which is like my self-care is like massages and
facials and you know, working with different practitioners.
And all of a sudden last year I,I didn't have a lot of
motivation for my work and it showed up in my bank account and
I was like, Oh my God, I am downto my last little bit of money.

(13:38):
I was like, what the heck? And I had nothing incoming
because as an entrepreneur, things are just in deep
fluctuation. Like it could be really good one
month and then it could be like nothing the next month.
And you know, I'm used to that. It's part of it, but I wasn't
mentally prepared or educated onhow to prepare for those
moments. So at my lowest, I'm like, OK,

(13:59):
we got to get financially educated.
And I feel like that's the firststep with anything because I
genuinely felt like this financial stress was hanging
over my head so deeply. And I'm actually grateful that
it happened because I think it gave me a lot of perspective to
how people feel and how difficult it can be to pursue
your dreams when you have that instability from financial

(14:22):
stress. And that instability can create
a lot of dysfunction in what I would call like the root chakra,
which is, you know, the chakra that's at like the low, low,
low, the lowest one, right? It's like that red that we see.
And for me, that chakra really represents not for me, but what
it is in general is security. And financial security is a part

(14:43):
of that. And if we don't have secure
grounds to walk on within our own bodies, within our own
selves, within our own minds, what happens if if we're not
grounded, we can't always accessthose upper chakras of the
throat of the third eye, of the top of the head.
We can't access those higher self expressive, creative,

(15:07):
imaginative chakras when we don't have the stability of the
root chakra holding us. And I realized I needed to, one,
get educated on my finances. I needed to do whatever it took
honestly to Get Me Out of that position because I knew that's
what I needed. And obviously, I wish I could
sit here and be like, you can feel good no matter what your

(15:28):
position is in life. But the truth is our external
circumstances impact us. And I'm not going to bullshit
you. Sometimes you just have to be
willing to do the thing you needto do to get yourself out of the
mud and become the Lotus that you're meant to be.
So, you know, I had this heightened doubt also because I
was like, why am I working so hard towards my podcast and my

(15:50):
social media and my dreams? And why is it not giving back to
me yet? And this created doubt in my
system. So I feel like the finances for
me was reflecting my perception of my success within my career
because I, you know, associate money and success as one, which
it's not always, but also in a nuanced way, it does have a

(16:14):
physical, material representation of how well
you're doing in your industry. So because I wasn't doing that
well financially, I also was doubting my gifts, my abilities.
It was so fucking hard. I felt so fucking stuck.
But the truth is that it was an opportunity for me to rededicate
to myself with such a deep devotion and such a deep

(16:36):
commitment and just promise myself that I will do whatever
it takes to make it better for myself.
And that was hard 'cause I wanted to stay in my pity party,
right? I wanted to stay in that lack,
in that victim mode, in that victim mindset.
Why is this happening to me? Why am I working so hard and
it's not paying off like, but the truth is I needed to be in

(17:01):
that position so I could create this deep security and self
worth from the inside out. So I know that no matter how low
I could get, I can pull myself out.
And that was the purpose of this.
And also hopefully so that I canshare this all with you.
And I really do see myself as analchemist in this way that I go

(17:22):
through things so that I can share them with you.
So hopefully it helps somebody out there.
Hopefully it relates and I'm going to tell you what I did to
get out of it. I just wanted to give you a
little bit of back story. So of course we want to align
and manifest and do the inner work, but you also have to do
the external physical work in the three-dimensional worlds.

(17:43):
I'm sorry, I know it's annoying.I know.
I wish we could just sit in affirmations all day.
I wish we could just sit and putour little frequency music in
and it would just work. But the truth is you have to do
the work. I'm sorry, I know you have to do
the work. The truth is, I couldn't get
anything done until I first realized I had to do the work.
And I had to put myself in that position of being responsible

(18:05):
for my life and accountable for my life.
And I had to say, we're done with this pity party.
And what we need is to take steps forward.
Because what I realized is that if you don't see the path, you
don't know what the next step is.
The truth is, just take a littletiny minini, tiny little Minini
little step right in front of you.
And as soon as you take that step, you will see the path

(18:27):
begin to appear in front of you.And that's like the roomy quote,
right? Take the next step and the path
will appear. But the truth is, that is so
fucking wise because it's true. I've seen it in my life.
Every single time I take the tiniest step, even if I'm
unsure, the next step appears. The path appears in front of me
and I feel more confident because of it.

(18:48):
So how did I do the work? Let's talk about it.
I had to ask myself what lights me up, what gives me purpose?
And I decided I was missing learning and education so
deeply. I know that learning is
something that inspires my Gemini Moon, right?
And even if you don't have the Gemini placements, I just think

(19:09):
that learning is something that's so incredibly beautiful
and it makes life fulfilling. And it's not about the end
result, it's about the process. The second thing that I realized
gives me such fucking joy is experiencing new things, right?
So whether it's trying a new class or trying a new technique
or going to a new place, my heart craves that.

(19:29):
It lights me up from the inside.The third thing that lights me
up is being playful, playing andbeing in nature and accessing
that carefree fairy part of myself that we'll talk about in
next week's episode. And then also, of course,
loving, focusing on my love for my partner, my parents, my
friends, my dog, any animals that I see just being like, wow,

(19:52):
I have so much love right now inmy heart.
By loving those around me. It it takes you out of your own
way. It takes you out of this feeling
that you. Yeah.
I just feel like sometimes when we're in our pity party, it's
actually really fucking selfish.And it's really the ego.
And it's really the ego just wanting to be the center of
attention. But the truth is, there's so

(20:13):
many things in your life that that make life worth living.
Besides just how you feel in your body that current day, just
besides how you feel about your mental health that certain day
and by focusing on that gratitude of who who it is that
you love and what it is that youlove.
That always brings me back everysingle time.
So then from here, after figuring out, okay, I know what

(20:36):
my life is missing right now, I know why I'm feeling this way,
you need to sit down and get clear with your values and what
you want. Because the truth is, you don't
have to always know what you physically want, but what you do
need to know is what your valuesare.
And when you're aligned with your values, it'll be easier to
make the decisions that you wantto make in life.
This podcast is sponsored by Betterhelp.

(20:56):
I feel like there's a misconception that to ignore
your feelings is strength and tofeel them is weakness, but it's
just the actual opposite. To feel them, to dive into them,
that is true strength. That is truly how somebody
becomes powerful and well-rounded and grounded
leader. And that's why therapy can
benefit you for when you are becoming a stronger version of

(21:20):
yourself by actually breaking down the wall so you can build
them up stronger again. So therapy has really changed my
life. You guys know that.
And Betterhelp is a great place to start if you're just like,
where? Where do I find a therapist?
And there's so many on there. And you can switch therapists
literally at any time. So unlock your true inner

(21:42):
strength with Betterhelp. I'm you're going to go visit
betterhelp.com/skinny Dipping toget 10% off your first month.
Again, that's Betterhelp help.com/skinny Dipping to get
10% off your first month. OK, bye.
So I was like, I need to dive into something and I didn't know

(22:03):
what it was, but I was really open to the universe, right?
I was like, hey, girl, I'm definitely I'm definitely open.
And what happened was I had thisgirl on my podcast and she was a
human design expert. You may have listened to that
episode. And she told me to increase my
inputs if I didn't know what it is that I desire.
OK, I'll bring you back one second.

(22:23):
She said to me specifically in my human design, I am meant to
follow what like me up from the inside out, but I'm like, what
if I don't know what lights me up?
What if I don't know what is inspiring me right now?
What if I don't? What if I don't know what is
bringing me joy? And she said, increase your
inputs, give yourself more opportunity to be drawn to

(22:45):
something, either in, you know, a workshop that you go to, or
maybe it's maybe it's a person that you talk to in a coffee
shop and they bring up an idea and it sparks something within
you. Maybe it's a book or a podcast
that you listen to that sparks something within you.
When you increase your inputs, you give the universe more of an
opportunity to show you what is right for you, to show you what

(23:07):
you actually and truly desire. So I said, hey, girl, I'm going
to increase my inputs in the next day.
I went to this breath work classmy friend invited me to.
And there I met Nick and Paulina, who are now mentors of
mine, and I dove into IFS with Paulina, which is internal
family systems. It is a type of therapy where

(23:28):
you talk about parts of yourself.
We'll get into it in a second. I then, you know, became
interested in breath work and amdoing one-on-one training with
them for breath work. Because this breath work that we
did was like this 45 minute deeprelease breath work that
literally, you know, it could either deeply release emotions
of grief, grief and stuckness and sadness that is stuck within

(23:51):
your body, or you could have a crazy spiritual experience where
you literally feel like you're in a different dimension and
it's such an incredible like natural high.
So I absolutely fell in love with this type of breath work
and now I am facilitating it andbeing trained in it.
And then I also really started getting into my fitness and I
started going to spin class moreand bar class more and the gym

(24:11):
more and just really like kind of spreading out where I did my
fitness. So it didn't feel so stagnant,
but it just felt like something I could explore and be
interested in. And then I also am getting
trained in human design right now with the girl that came on
my podcast. So she was an input for me.
I said human design resonates with me so much.
It's helped me so much. I want to help other people with
it. Now I'm in a certification, I'm

(24:33):
just going to tell you about each one of these things because
each one of these things have truly changed my life.
And maybe you'll feel called to explore some of them.
So let's start with IFSIFS is called internal family systems.
It is a type of therapy that useparts work.
So you refer to yourself in different parts.

(24:54):
You have yourself, which I thinkis kind of like your soul.
It's this part of yourself that you know can bring this higher
trust and knowledge even when you have doubt.
And I love IFS because you constantly are trying to sense
the real self, capital S self. And of course I'm not trained in
this. So this is just my perspective

(25:14):
and how I've processed this information and want to share it
back to you. I'm not a fucking expert on IFS
by any means. I really only did it for four
weeks. But really it did change my life
in the way that I interact with the different parts of myself.
So you have the self, which is usually compassionate, curious,
creative. You can tell the self is present
because of the qualities of selfthat you see.

(25:37):
And this is really for you to sit with and figure out.
What does yourself look like? For me, when I know that I'm
creative and curious, that's howI know myself is available to
me. That energy is available for me
to access and call into the space even when I feel confusion
or doubt or uncertainty. And then in IFS, you have your
managers and your firefighters. These are parts of yourself that

(25:59):
you've developed to either manage certain parts of
yourself, manage certain stress points in your life, or manage,
you know, the perfectionism. That's kind of a manager that we
have within us. The perfectionist, the planner.
Maybe it's the busy bee, right? It's the version of yourself
that keeps yourself so busy so you don't have to deal with your
emotions and feelings. Like these are all different

(26:23):
manager parts that come forward.And I love the managers, right?
Like they definitely can make ourselves hard on ourselves
sometimes and that's no fun. But they do have a purpose.
And the purpose with IFS is to figure out how can all these
parts of ourselves work togetherso that we can unburden these
parts so that they don't have tocarry the weight of everything
that they realize. If they work together as a unit,

(26:45):
it's all good and we can figure it out.
And the self can be in the driver's seat even when these
other parts are speaking up and needing our attention and
wanting to be loud. So you have the manager parts
and then you have the firefighter parts.
For example, the firefighter part, I like have this
firefighter part that is like the Hulk and she comes in and

(27:06):
she's like tear it all down. Like do not disrespect me like
this. And the thing about firefighters
is they'll come in and they willact any certain type of way to
protect your exiles, even if it means at the expense of hurting
yourself emotionally, right? Even when I'm angry, like the
person that I'm hurting is myself, right?
Because I'm creating all this cortisol, all this tension, all

(27:28):
this stress in my body with thisunexpressed anger coming to the
surface, bubbling up and exploding, which is where the
Hulk firefighter comes out for me.
Or I feel like I have this MileyCyrus firefighter.
I call her because I think she comes in when I'm stressed out
about work and she shuts everything down.
She's like, let's smoke the weedpen, babe.

(27:49):
She's like, let's go out. Let's be irresponsible.
Let's screw it all, throw everything against the wall.
Who cares? And I think I had this Miley
Cyrus shut down part, this firefighter that comes out when
I'm really fucking stressed and overwhelmed and over stimulated
and I don't know how to handle it.
And she's like, I'm shutting it all down.
She's like, I'm shutting it all down.

(28:09):
We are not dealing with this today.
You can deal with this another day.
And I created this part of myself that shuts everything
down, even if it's hurting myself or hurting my career, my
dreams and my desires because I was an over stimulated child.
And that's where the Exiles comein.
And the Exiles are these parts of ourselves that we want to
avoid. They're these parts of ourselves

(28:29):
that are more sensitive and tender, that we've developed
these parts of the firefighters and the parts of the managers in
order to help these exiles. So, for example, for me, I have
this overstimulated little girl inside of me.
And this is this kind of woundedpart that I felt like these

(28:49):
other parts were created to protect, you know, shutting it
all down when we're too overwhelmed or overstimulated,
even if it's, you know, going tomake us more stressed out at the
end of the day. Or, you know, for me, I feel
like I also have exiles and parts of myself that come up
that are sensitive from being a preteen or a teen or a young
adult. It's not just your inner child.

(29:11):
It's all these different parts of yourself that you may have
acquired throughout your life, right?
I feel like I have this like inner preteen bitchy diva who
comes in and is like, I want to be independent.
I want my way. And I have this kind of
independent part of myself that really doesn't want to listen to
anybody else and what they tell her to do, even when they can be

(29:34):
helpful. And it's irritating to her when
people tell her what to do. And as you can see, as I'm
talking about all these different parts of myself, what
I've loved about IFS is it showsyou that nothing is wrong with
you. Nothing is wrong with you.
There are no bad parts. There are just parts that are
serving you in certain ways and parts that have, you know who

(29:55):
aren't serving you because you've actually outgrown them.
But you've still kept this part because you're habitually
trained. And your neuroplasticity has
been created to call upon these parts when you feel like you
need help from them, even if they aren't serving you.
And what we want to do is make sure we can unburden those
parts. I'm going to talk more about it
next week, but IFS has truly changed my life because of this

(30:17):
system and seeing, okay, when I'm feeling this manager part
come in and this planner and this responsible part being
like, why aren't you doing XYZ? And she's being really hard and
a perfectionist on myself. How can I unburden her?
How can I make her know that we're going to get everything
done? How can my true, compassionate,
curious, trusting self come in and say, I understand you're

(30:40):
overwhelmed. I understand you're trying to
get everything done for us, but beating ourselves up isn't going
to do anything. Let's stay open, let's stay, you
know, let's pace ourselves, let's listen to our body, let's
take a break and let's maybe tryagain in an hour when we're less
overwhelmed and less overstimulated.
And by coming in and talking to these different parts of myself

(31:03):
in the way that they need has truly changed my life.
And that's why IFS has helped meso much.
And I'm so grateful I worked with, they're called Pondi.
They're these two besties. They're so cute.
And I met Paulina through breathwork.
She is also the facilitator at breath work with her and her
husband Nick. So they've absolutely changed my
life. And also let's get into the
breath work. Breath work has been changing my

(31:23):
life. This breath work that I'm
getting trained in, it's called collective conscious breath work
or rebirthing, whatever. It doesn't matter what the name
is. The whole point is it's a form
of pranayama basically. It has ancient roots from India
and we always want to acknowledge that.
We want to acknowledge where it came from.
And you know, all the names thatwe have today in modern Western
today society are just differentbrandings.

(31:44):
And we don't even need the brandings.
What we need is to know why the work works.
So basically what I love about breath work is it creates
transient hypofrontality in the brain.
So basically like this part, this front part of your brain
that is so fucking loud and it'sjust always in control and
always yapping and always has something to say or some sort of
judgement or something to be a perfectionist about or whatever.

(32:07):
It can actually shut that part of the brain up.
And I love that. So it really allows the emotions
to come through in the way they want to be expressed.
And I really believe this form of breath work where we're doing
this like 35 minute deep breath work, stomach, chest, let it go
for like 3540 minutes. It unlocks these deep suppressed

(32:30):
emotions and it brings it to thesurface.
It's incredibly impactful and has changed my life.
If you want to take a session with them online, literally do
it. I'll put their information below
or you can DM me on Instagram ifI forget to do it.
So breath work has been truly life's changing.
I realized when I just show up once a week for something like
that, when I show up literally just once a week for a deep

(32:51):
release, my entire week is better.
And I just feel so less overwhelmed and I feel like it
gives me a place and space to express my feelings and let it
all out. So yeah, I'm sobbing, I'm
crying, I'm laughing. Like there's so many of feelings
that come out during this process and that's why I wanted
to get trained in it. And it truly has been making my
life so much better. And also just my capacity for

(33:13):
emotional regulations so much greater, like my window of
tolerance. That's what we call it, the win
in like psychology, somatics, healing.
It's called the window of tolerance.
And the window of tolerance is basically like your ability to
handle things. So if you're within your window
of tolerance, things that are stressful aren't going to be so
overwhelming. But if we go above our window of
tolerance and we become hyperactive, we get really

(33:35):
overwhelmed and we can't do anything about what's going on
because we're too overwhelmed, too overstimulated.
Or you could be under active, which is that hyperactive?
I'm not 100% sure, but when you go kind of low and below, you
get stuck in a avoidant and you just feel like you can't move
and you feel stuck because you feel so overwhelmed.
Do you know that feeling? When you feel so overwhelmed,

(33:57):
you can't do anything because you actually feel like stuck and
suppressed and depressed and low.
So that's what happens when you go underneath your window of
tolerance. And basically we want to stay
within our window of tolerance because when the inevitable
stressful things of life do comeup, which they do, we're going
to be able to handle them when we're in our window of
tolerance. And for me, having IFS and
breath work has been completely transformative in expanding my

(34:20):
window of tolerance so I can handle things better, handle
stress better, handle my emotions better, handle, you
know, just the problems in life that arise.
I can handle them better when I'm within my window of
tolerance. And these resources and
modalities help me increase and connect to my window of
tolerance, which we love. And then human design.

(34:43):
I mean, I'm still learning aboutit, but that one session with
Aaron Clare completely changed my life.
She's a new book out that you guys should definitely go check
out. Human design is a crazy practice
that shows you how how can we make the best choices for
ourselves and how long do we need to take to make our
choices? And for me, the biggest thing
that I learned with human designis one that increase your

(35:04):
inputs. You know, I just didn't have
enough inputs for me to be sparked with joy.
So that was really incredibly transformative.
And the next thing that really transformed my life was
realizing that I need time to make decisions.
I actually can't trust my initial instinct.
And I feel like that can be frustrating.
And you know, this is part of mydesign.
This might not relate to you at all or your design, but I

(35:26):
actually need like a night to sleep on things within my design
in order to make decisions. And I feel like that has helped
me so much because I think I getexcited and I get that instinct
and I get that spark and I'm like, I want to do this thing.
But the truth is, like, am I still going to be excited about
it tomorrow? And I've had to teach myself
that with like spending money, you know, like, am I still going
to be excited about this like $1000 camera that I want to buy

(35:48):
like tomorrow? Like I should just sleep on it.
And then if I still want it, like I'll treat myself.
So human design has been so impactful because it's showed me
what I need in order to make thebest decisions for me.
And I just need like a night of sleep.
I need to really just take some time and space in order to make
a clear conscious decision because I do feel like my

(36:10):
initial response isn't always mytruth.
And I even feel that with my anxiety, like, you know, I have
like kind of paranoia where I'llbe out and I'll be like kind of
scared for my life. I don't know.
I'll see a man walking and I'm like, Oh my God, I'm, I'm scared
like, you know, and there hasn'tbeen really anything in my life
that would cause that. I don't know if it's like past
life stuff or whatever, but I definitely have this like

(36:32):
paranoia or anxiety or like I'm going on a hike and I'm like, Oh
my God, like we're gonna, what if something bad happens and you
know, nothing bad happens. And I think I, I, I can't always
trust my initial instinct and that's OK.
I think it can be frustrating, but it's not debilitating.
I think knowing it and knowing like, OK, I just need time and
space to process and then I can listen to my truth.

(36:55):
That frees me because I've always felt that way in my life,
but I forced myself to be like, why do you need to trust my
instinct and my gut feeling and my intuition?
And it's like, girl, that everybody has that like gift or
that way of processing things and I shouldn't expect myself
to. And then the final thing that
has really helped me is obviously fitness.
Fitness is just life changing. I know everyone gets so mad when

(37:17):
I say it, but they have scientifically proven that it's
stronger than antidepressants. I'm not saying get off your
meds. I'm just saying for me
personally, I don't do medication.
I don't have any judgement for any way that people choose to
live their lives, but I know that I, I can struggle with my
mental health a lot. But for me, coming back to
movement and making it a consistent part of my week and
my routine and my day frees me. It always makes me feel better

(37:40):
no matter what I'm going through.
So I've been loving spin class, I've been loving bar class, I've
been loving going to the gym. And yeah, I think when I fall
off fitness, going to classes really helps me because I just
think having that community and that group motivation, and
honestly, that's the fifth thingthat I'm going to include in
here is, Oh my God, there's thisAnt caring something so much

(38:01):
bigger than a a leaf. Wow, that's kind of crazy.
It's so small and it's carrying something so big, but it's true.
Like ants can do it and we can too.
We can, we seem so we we seem sosmall.
It's like, how do we handle all this?
You can carry it all. And I feel like that was the
symbolism with the Ant right there.

(38:22):
And you don't have to carry it all alone.
And that's also the symbolism with the ants is that they don't
do it all alone. They have their community.
They, they insects, you know, they think in this hive mind,
they work together for the greater good.
And I feel like we're all meant to do that in some capacity.
And I definitely think being in breath work in a group of all
ages, all genders, all differentbackgrounds and kinds of people

(38:46):
and doing breath work and healing together, or being in a
fitness class and spinning with people that I don't even know.
It's just so connecting and so empowering to have third places
that connect you to people whereyou don't have to be like
honestly best friends with anybody or really like get deep
into your life, but you can justfeel connected and not alone.
And I think community is this fifth thing that has completely
transformed my life. And it's like if you're my life

(39:08):
has been the best when I've beenin community.
For example, when I did like my poll sorority with my friend
Madison Camino, who's the leaderof that, when I was
participating in that, like I just felt so joyful and grateful
and not alone. So definitely community spaces,
places to heal. But it's also about the right
spaces because some spaces in the spiritual world are really

(39:29):
fucking egotistical and have a lot of spiritual narcissism.
And you also have to just be mindful of people like that in
these communities. You need to use your
discernment, please. I'm begging you.
Discernment is a fucking lost art nowadays, especially with
ChatGPT and everything being instantaneous.
It's like, use your fucking discernment.
You know, know, you know, use your discernment in spaces and

(39:51):
places with people, with situations.
Please use your discernment, especially in spiritual spaces.
I'm begging you. OK, so when I'm looking at the
things that took me out of it, it was getting really clear on
my values, what was missing in my life.
And then it was getting help. It was going on in the world.
Increasing my inputs, getting help finding what modalities are

(40:12):
calling me right now because it's going to be different for
you. You have to go and listen to the
signs and the bread crumbs that the universe are sending you and
follow those. That's what I want you to do
because the places and spaces that are meant for you will show
up in your life. If you are open to receiving
them, if you are open to connecting with them, they will
show up for you. I've gotten a lot more
comfortable with using the word God because I do feel protected

(40:35):
by God and it's not God in a Christian way.
And like this photo of a man, no, it's just this eternal
source, spirit and energy that Ifeel connected to lately.
And yeah, it feels really amazing to be connected to that
source and to just be in that deep trust and just knowing, OK,
I can get myself out and I can have help with it.
And now I'm in this place where I'm like, OK, can I let myself

(40:56):
be happy? Like, after years and years of
healing and ups and downs and cycles?
And I'm not saying that like, you know, the cycle will last
forever. I know that it won't.
But I almost feel like I have moved through so much.
And it's like, can I let myself be happy now?
And that's the question I've really been asking myself and
working towards because, you know, you're always practicing

(41:17):
something. So I'm right now practicing
being actually satisfied and happy and grateful for where I'm
at. And also so grateful that I did
pull myself out financially. And now I'm feeling really
fucking strong and I can, I feellike I can travel this summer
and I'm feeling really proud of myself and my career.
I feel like I've been really pouring into myself and my

(41:38):
fitness. I've also been really trying to
work on my communication within my relationship with my partner.
And I just feel like I'm doing areally good job and I'm really
proud of myself. And I've worked really fucking
hard for my piece. And I feel like I have this part
that comes in. I have this part that comes in
as like, well, if you're not like sad, I guess you're just
not really relatable to everybody else.

(41:58):
Like if you're, if you're not struggling, then you're not
real, you're not relatable. And the truth is like, I fucking
worked so hard for my happiness and my mental health to be the
place that it is right now. And I'm going to fucking
celebrate my joy. I'm going to celebrate my
success. I'm literally here to tell you
guys I'm doing fucking great now.

(42:19):
Like financially, spiritually, emotionally, relationship wise.
Like I look around and I'm like,Oh my God, I fucking did it.
I pulled myself out. I'm in the expansion.
It feels so good. Can I let myself feel this?
Can I let myself be happy? Can I be OK with other people
either evil eyeing me or being jealous or like not being as
happy for me because of where they're at in their life?

(42:41):
Can I be OK with that? And I can I say fuck it and can
I just do me? And that's the place that I'm at
right now. And I encourage you if you, when
you are in that place, when you feel like you are so fucking
happy and you look around and maybe like your friends aren't
in that place yet or you know, yeah, people in your life almost
kind of want you to play small. I want you to literally say fuck
it. Like I want you to say fuck it

(43:03):
and be like, I'm going to do whatever it fucking takes to
protect my peace and protect my happiness and protect this love
for myself that I've created, this pride and proudness.
Not an egotistical pride, but just a true just just, I'm so
proud of how far I've come and what I've done and I want to

(43:24):
fucking own that. And I don't want to be scared of
it and I don't want to. I don't want to be worried about
making other people feel insecure in the process.
Because the truth is, sometimes you are people's medicine,
sometimes you are their fucking ayahuasca, and sometimes they
will see you when they will be triggered and that will be OK.
It is OK if your happiness and your success and your joy
triggers other people. It's OK when you start to shine

(43:45):
bright if that triggers somebodyelse.
We have to be OK with it and we have to be willing to protect
our peace and protect our joy regardless.
And I just give you permission to let yourself be happy when
you've moved through all the bullshit instead of being stuck
in the habitual victim mindset that we practice, that I
practice, that I was practicing.Can you now practice letting

(44:08):
yourself be happy and just, yeah, letting yourself have it?
Good. I've been just like dancing
around and listening to music and like accessing my inner pop
star as much as possible becauseit's like I just want to be
joyful and I know what it feels like to feel sad and I'm OK to
go to the places of sadness and grief when God in the universe

(44:29):
and Spirit calls for it. I think that there is a
beautiful space for transformation and feeling and
healing and I love that space. But we can't get addicted to
that space where we feel attached to the pain.
We feel like the pain defines usand defines our identity and who
we are. Fuck that.
No, allow yourself to be different.
Allow yourself to evolve. Allow yourself to change.

(44:49):
Allow yourself to be fucking happy when you have moved all
the through all the bullshit that is the next challenging
part that I'm on right now is like, can I let myself be happy
in this moment and I can I not be worried about how it impacts
other people? And can I be truly unapologetic
about my joy and my success because I fucking worked for it.
I worked for my mental health. I worked for my success in my
business. And there's no reason to be

(45:11):
ashamed about that. Something I'm incredibly proud
of and I'm excited for you guys to get to that place.
And also please, my other adviceis like please have self
meetings with yourself. The more that you're avoiding
your journal and sitting down with yourself and talking to
yourself, the more you're avoiding that, the more you need
it. Please, I'm begging you, have
yourself meetings. Write down what are your values.
You don't have to know what's next.
You just need to know your values and then make your

(45:33):
decisions based on those values.And then you are in alignment.
And then the right opportunitieswill open up for you because you
are in alignment and you will see it and you will see the
proof. I promise.
You can listen to me all you want, but once you start to take
action and the path appears, youwill see proof of everything
we're talking about today. In fact, As for a fucking sign
for the from the universe right now that you want to see today,

(45:54):
that will show you that the messages and downloads that you
received while listening to thispodcast are the exact things
that you needed to know and thatyou should act on them.
Pick a good sign, pick like an 888 or pick like a, you know,
something that you're going to see, but it's not super common.
Oh my God, guys, I am hosting another retreat in Washington
and I could not be more excited.And I just want to do more.

(46:17):
I want to do more retreats. I want to do one in Europe.
I want to do one in Bali. I am like, Oh my God, it is my
dream to get paid to play like this is a fucking dream.
And I just can't wait to ferry it up with all the girlies in
real life. And I hope to see you there,
honestly, at some point. I've been really pouring into
that and getting so excited. And yeah, there's a song by

(46:40):
Human Chorus. I think that's what they call
it, Human Chorus, Human nature, Beautiful chorus.
It's not what they're called. Fuck, I'm sorry, I forget, But
basically it's called Please Prepare Me.
And they always play it in breath work.
And it's like, please prepare meto be a sanctuary.

(47:03):
Tried and true. And I just feel like that's the
place that I'm in right now is like, I just want to be prepared
to be a sanctuary for these women and what can I do to get
an alignment so that I can be that and I can be the sanctuary
for them and for you and for myself and for the people that I
love. I love you guys so much.

(47:25):
You're so incredibly special. I want you to do something that
really brings you joy. This week.
Skinny dipping summer is about taking the time.
Even when you're really fucking busy with work, Even when you
feel like everything is just going wrong.
Like take a fucking break. Cut the To Do List.
Do something that brings you joy.
Dance around for 5 minutes. Watch how it changes your state.
You have the ability to shift ineach moment, even if the

(47:46):
external circumstances aren't shifting.
Once your internal world shifts,everything around your shifts,
and like I said, you have to prove it to yourself, babe,
babe, you have to prove it to yourself.
I can't do it for you. So you have to try and practice
and work on it and it will happen.
I love you guys. I missed you guys.
Happy skinny dipping summer. I'll see you next week.