November 23, 2024 • 44 mins
Sam Frost has been a lot of things in her time. She's been (or still is) a reality television contestant, radio host, actress, author and mental health advocate. What I got from this chat though, is that her most important job to date has been mum to Ted. We chat through the self-work Sam did before having Ted, her anxiety about becoming a mum, what she does when she's feeling a bit overwhelmed by life (tip: put down your phone and go outside) and touch on what it's like to be in the public eye when the world turns on you.
Sam is such a lovely, grounded person, and her family clearly are the most important thing in her life. I hope you enjoy this chat as much as I did!
About the show:
Life is fast. Information is overwhelming. We seem busier and more anxious than ever. Introducing ‘Slow It Down’. A time to chill, wind down and join a space that inspires people to live authentically and slow it down. A hub for living more consciously and incorporating mindful practices and rituals in an achievable way. The aim is to showcase guests who have chosen to live a more balanced lifestyle mixed in with experts who offer tangible tips and tricks to feel a little more zen.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
With the Heads Podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Welcome back to another episode of Slow It Down.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I am your host, PJ Harding, and this podcast is
all around how we can find peace in the chaos.
Chaos is not going anywhere, I've learned that much. So
it's about finding ways that we can stay sane and
ground it in this wild world that we're living in.
And every week I've got a new guest who comes
(00:31):
on to share parts of their life and things that
help them when they're struggling. This week, I'm joined by
the gorgeous Sam Frost, who burst onto the scene in
Australia when she appeared on season two of The Bachelor
in twenty fourteen. There was quite the dramatic ending to
(00:51):
the season.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
You can look that up on line.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
But then Sam went on to start in the first
season of The Bachelorette Australia. She then went on to
do radio starring Home in a Way. She has become
a vocal mental health advocate and written her own book
called Believe by Sam Frost, and she this is the
coolest Thing. Most recently has gone around Australia and a
(01:18):
caravan with her partner and their one year old Ted
and they've filmed their travels, which we documented at a
new TV show, which I think is living the dream.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I really enjoyed.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Sitting down with Sam and having a chat and we
do cover a range of issues from cancel culture to
bringant see to the surprises of motherhood, and we talk
about her.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Own mental health struggles.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
So a reminder if you're in ensis one seven three
seven is a free service for Kiwi's feeling down, anxious,
a bit overwhelmed, or if you just need to chat someone,
you can call or text anytime for free. Twenty four seven.
Let's get into the chat. I am very excited for
(02:09):
our guest on the show today. Now I don't want
to make this about me, but we actually have a
few things in common. I'm finding you have a gorgeous
young son called Teddy ted Titty.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Yeah, ted Teddy whatever, and.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Now you're expecting baby double two.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
I am congratulations, thank.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
You so much. I'm really excited. Yeah. So the little
ones due in March next year. So I'm past halfway. Marcus,
I'm statid, which.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Are you so? How many how many weeks?
Speaker 4 (02:44):
You know?
Speaker 3 (02:45):
You know what? I can't really like twenty twenty two
or twenty.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Three I'm twenty tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
You are.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yeah, Oh it's horrible, arendous?
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Oh my god, I'm so sorry. How long did it
take me to get okay again?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
It was probably maybe like probably zoo teen sixteen weeks,
But then still I've definitely been more nauseous this time around.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Yeah, you know, it's so funny.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
I was exactly the same, And I've got girlfriends that
are now having their second and saying the same thing,
like everyone's just feeling really nauseous and vomity.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
I don't know if it's because we just don't get
a break.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
It's time round.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
So the body's like, hey, then, like, can you look
after me?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
I'm just going to turn my back on you.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Honestly, it's wild.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
I was like a couch potato, like literally stuck on
a couch for like two months.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
It was awful.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Oh and so what were you doing during that time?
Have you been, because obviously you've been filming this epic
caravan trip with your partner and your one year old
or two year old.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Yeah, so he's, oh my gosh, I'm so bad. Like months,
he's like one and a half almost two.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
It's funny when you like get beyond the months because
you like call them eleven months in twelve and thirteen.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Then you just lose track.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Oh I don't know, and I don't have the brain
capacity to do quick math and figure out what months
it is. And I'm like, I don't know, Like his
birthdays in March, you figure it out.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
So how did it fall into place with everything you're
doing at the moment? Like what was life looking like
for you when you felt pregnant for the second time?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Oh? Do you know what?
Speaker 4 (04:34):
It was so funny because we were actually caravanning.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
He's a little caravan baby, this one, because the caravan through.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Western Australia, and it was the first time. Have you
got another little baby?
Speaker 3 (04:48):
I do?
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I do?
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Yeah, okay, yeah yeah, just just the one.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yeah, I've got a two year old called Charlie.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Great, so you'll get it. So I was like, it
took me a really long time to start feeling like
myself again after my first and you know, because your
body is changing, you're tired, my son hates sleeping.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
So it was actually the first time I was like
feeling good.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
I was like, my body was getting back, I was
vibing again.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
I was having some cocktails and I.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
Was like, this is great, like, hallo, Sam, I've missed
you so much anyway, and then.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
We got a little bit too excited. Oh my god,
two is on the way.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
So I love it lot.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
It's such a good feeling when you start kind of
remembering what it was like to feel kind of normal
once you come out of that postpartum haze.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Right, yeah it is.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
And now that like we've gone like back to back,
I just I can't remember those two weeks of feeling
good and and I'm like, it's been a long time.
It's been years since I've felt like myself. I said
to my partner. I was like, no one misses me
more than me. Yeah, yes, because like I'm sure he
doesn't say anything, but I'm sure there's moments where he's like, oh, like,
(06:08):
well he actually does say. I guess all you do
is sleep like I'm died.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
I'm really tired.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Anyway, It's yeah, it is a lot, Are you quite?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Like I don't know what it's been the last couple
of days. I've just been so angry.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
It is stupid the stuff, And I'm like, I have
to keep telling myself, this is the hormones, it's not
you you're not that much of a badge.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
Sometimes I don't know anymore, you know what I mean,
Like it's all like merged into one. I'm like, I
can't blame my hormones anyone, I'm not sure, but yeah,
I've been foul, like just so grumpy. And we did
another trip in our caravan just recently, just going up
North Queensland and Australia, and I had to say to George.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
I was just like, I'm so sorry. I was just
being a grumpy Yeah, Like I was so grumpy. I
was just like uncomfortable and.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
You wake up from it and then you're like, oh
and you don't really remember what you were like yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Yeah, seriously, honestly, it's really crazy, but yeah I did.
Actually I had to apologize. I was like, I know,
I'm being a grumpy and I am anyway, and like
I'm my face is puffy and I'm tired.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah you still do you reckon? You're selling the sweet
spot like a nets you can try or are you
starting to get to the other end.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
There's like that sweet spot in the middle, right you
know what.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
I had that in the first and I'm still waiting
for the sweet spot. I'm like, is it coming? You know,
but I always have to I'm always like saying to myself.
I said, actually, a girlfriend of mine said to me,
because I'm always like, I'm so grateful, I'm so grateful,
I'm so grateful. Because I am so grateful, I'm not huge.
And my girlfriend said to me, you know, you don't
have to say grateful all the time. You can just
say you hate it.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Okay, that is really fucking hard.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Okay hard, but yeah, so anyway, it's yeah, it's a journey.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I loved hearing the very real fears that you had
going into motherhood for the first time. I think that's
so relatable. I remember writing down all of these things
that I just thought I was inadequately equipped, like all
of the reasons why I was inadequately Oh my god,
why can I not say that inadequately equipment to be
(08:21):
a mom? And I was like, oh my god, I
can barely look after myself, like I get anxious. Is
just going to exacerbate all of these emotions. Can you
talk through how you felt before and then what the
reality for you was like? And I know this isn't
for everyone, but I know so many people are scared
that they're just going to turn into the biggest monster ever,
(08:42):
which we you know, sometimes you do have those moments,
but oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Those moments. But yeah, I think the fears beforehand.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
You know, I've had like years and years battling depression
and anxiety, and I.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Was really nervous that I was.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
I was worried I was going to have personal depression
because I felt like it's in my family, and I
just wanted to make sure that I could be the
best mother. I didn't want to you know, I've had
to work through a lot of things. I've through psychologists
and all sorts of things for you basically since I
(09:25):
was a late teenager because of things that I've gone
through in my childhood, and I just wanted to make
sure that I wasn't going to project any of that
onto my children. I was worried that, you know, like,
is am I too broken to have a child?
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Do you know what I mean? So I think that
was a real fear for me.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
And then I went to see a psychologist when I
found out I was pregnant, a new one because I'd
moved up the coast, and I found this really amazing
moment she was so fantastic, and I saw her regularly
from about a second try to after Ted was born,
and she was amazing at just alleviating fears and helping me.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
With tools of what to do when I'm feeling low.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
She's like, she goes, because when you have that baby,
then all of a sudden, all these hormones are happening,
and you.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Know, so like trying to trying to be.
Speaker 4 (10:23):
The best mum already when you don't have these issues
is hard enough, let alone if you do have a
history with mental illness. So anyway, but she just reassured me,
and she was amazing. So I'm so glad that I
did that. And then the reality is I loved being
like I love being a mum, and I was like
as soon as Ted was born, I was just like
(10:46):
I was vibing it. I love newborn stage. And you know,
I knew that it was only temporary. You're tired, for sure,
but you've got this beautiful bundle that you just love
more than anything in this world. And you know, my
son is the most happiest secure. I know that he
feels safe, and I feel like I'm doing a pretty
(11:08):
good job. So yeah, I feel really grateful that I
had that help during my pregnancy, just that reassurance, and yeah,
I feel really confident with where.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
I'm at the moment.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
It's so refreshing to hear and I've heard you speak
about this before about motherhood and such a positive light.
It's so nice to hear the beautiful reality of the amazing,
magical time it is as well. And it's almost like
mums have shame in that, you know, if they have
a positive experience, whether it's the birth or whether it's
the pregnancy, you just kind of want to keep it
(11:41):
quiet because you don't want to make others around you
feel shit.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
About themselves, right, But it shouldn't have to be that.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Way, And if you have a good experience, I think
it's equally important to share it.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
Yeah, I think so too, And I've thoroughly enjoyed being
a mum. Like I think that I feel like my
life is actually started now that I have a child,
and I think about what I was doing beforehand, and
I was like, what was I even doing?
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I just you know, just I felt like I was
just like floating around And that's just that's just my
personal experience, you know.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
I have so many friends that aren't having children, that
can't have children.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
So this is just my personal experience and I'm just
sharing that.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
And I know some people are completely different, but yeah,
I just really felt I just feel like I have
purpose now and it just is so.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Fulfilling to be a mother, you know. Yeah, And I
love it.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
Like he's like he's like the funny funny and I
get to hang out with like this really small, funny
human all the time.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
The more they talk, Oh my god, it's just so good.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I know, it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, when you were seeing the psychologists and she sort
of went through, you know, some tips and tracks and
techniques that you could use. Can you share some of
those things that do help you in those times when
you feeling really low and you're feeling really lost.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Yeah, well, a lot of the things that she was
talking to me about was because the main issue that
I had during those during my pregnancy, the thing that
was weighing on me the most is I wanted to
make sure my child has a secure attachment to me
because I have had a I can't remember what it's
called now that I'm a.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Would have probably come to me, I don't have a healthy.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
One and secure attachment or I know the word, I
know what you made think, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
I just can't think of it either.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Yeah either. Anyway, our brain's art working. That doesn't matter,
you know brains. Yeah, so yeah, So anyway, that was
the biggest thing.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
And she told me, she goes, do you know you
only have to get it right thirty percent of the
time to have a secure attachment to your child. She's
that's it, And she's like, and the biggest thing is
the repair stage of the cycle.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
So you know, you you might. She was, You're gonna have.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Days where you raise your voice. You're gonna have days
that you're not your best. You're gonna have days where
you behave the way that you don't want to behave.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
And she's like, because you're tired, your.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
Hormonier, you've got a lot of things going on, you've
got stresses everywhere. She goes, he's perfectly normal to break,
to not be your perfect self, to not be the
best mum all the time. And she goes, and that's fine,
but it's how you recover from those moments that's.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
What creates a secure attachment.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
So saying apologizing to your child is what is so
much more beneficial to the child than if you're this
perfect mum all the time, do you know what I mean?
So if you so I doled all the time, Like
you know, I was really tired, and I you know,
I you know.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Raise my voice at ted because he was just screaming
at me and I was trying it.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
I was on this important call and I was like, mate,
I'm on the phone. And afterwards and like, I don't
like doing that. Obviously that's the girl.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
That's horrid, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
It's horrific.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
And then afterwards, even though he's only one and a half,
I'm you're saying to him, I sat him down, I
gave him big cuddle, and I was just like, I'm
really sorry, mate, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that.
I was just stressed and I was on the phone
and that's not okay, and I'm really sorry. And I
gave him a cuddle. Even though he doesn't understand what
that means. I'm sure he understands that I'm apologizing and
(15:18):
giving him a hug and repairing that and not just
you know, the last thing you want to do is
then get off the phone and then yell at you
child and be like I was on the phone, like
that's not going to be helpful at all.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
So it's it's owning your behavior because that first of all,
you just say that makes me feel so much better
because no mother is perfect. I don't think any mother
is perfect, like at all of it that, but that
is something I consciously try and do is just own
up when I've stuffed up and saying that was mummy
shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry, mummy's tired. She
(15:52):
didn't mean that. I love you so much, you know,
and then just give them that kind of affirming that
they are loved and it's not there and I don't
have that sense of blame.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
Yes, absolutely, And she said to me, that's the most
important thing. That's that's far more important than anything else.
And yeah, She's like, you know, if you're if you're
a good mon thirty percent of the time and you're
getting it right, then that's going to create a secure attachment.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
And I was just like, gee, that's not too bad.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
So when I talk to my friends and family about it,
I was like, mate, thirty percent of the time, don't.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Be so hard on yourself.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Yeah, it's a good one.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
It's a really good one.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
What about like tools that you use too, I mean
not from the psychologist, but things that have worked for
you over the years.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
When you are in a really.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Tough space mentally and you just need to break free
in a way, like you just you're in a rut
and you just want to reset.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
What do you do?
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Then?
Speaker 3 (16:49):
The first thing I would do is get rid of
my phone.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
I think phones are so problematic in terms of when
you're in that spirally head headspace and you're like feeling
anxious and you're feeling down. I don't think it's I
don't I don't think social media is good for your
mental health at all. I think that turning your phone
off and going outside and breathing and trying to ground yourself,
(17:18):
like going for a walk, going for a drive, doing
something that sort of takes.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
You out of your head.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Because a lot of the time, you know, people recommend
going for walks when you're feeling really anxious, but sometimes
you don't have that energy because you're you know, depending
on where you're at with your mental health, you know,
you might not have energy to go for a walk.
So I would say to people, leave your phone at home,
go for a drive and you know, either listen to
nothing or listen to music. And I always find that
(17:50):
that helps.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Me sort of like shift through my brain and ground me.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
I think that's a really easy way. You know, when
I'm when I can feel like a panic attack coming on,
I'll lay on the ground. And fortunately I haven't had
this for a while, but I will lay on the
ground and do breathing exercises and just count and breathe in.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Deeply and breathe out.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
And all I'm doing is telling my body that I'm
actually safe and everything's okay.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
And it's just helped to regulate your.
Speaker 4 (18:22):
Body to calm itself and to realize you're actually safe
instead of flicking into that flight.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Or flight mode.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
So there are two things that I find really easy
and things that you actually do because there's so many
tips out there, Like you look online and you're like.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I'm not doing that.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
I'm not doing that, like you know, especially when you're
in that teeth excuse me, Yeah, when you're in that
anxious headspace, you're not going to be I can't even
remember what they are anymore, but I remember reading them going, no.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
One's doing that.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Just keep it well, keep it simple.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Lay on the ground and breathe, or go in the
car and drive and do not take your phone.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
That's what I think is really helpful.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
And getting out of nature of course, like you know,
going sitting outside, you know, and I just think, you know,
I think that's really beneficial for me.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
When you were in your peak fame of reality TV
and then Home and Away and you know, you were
in the media a lot, did you do those things
or do you reckon your head unhealthy habits because you didn't.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
Know, well, I definitely had unhealthy habits, you know that,
like going on my phone and.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
And you know, certainly in my twenties, I used.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
To you know, you would get anxious and you' if
I was in a relationship, you know, you'd feel anxious
about something, and then you're banging out heaps of texts
and you know, like you're like, put the fine down.
You were not going to solve anything in a text message.
That is what I would tell my younger self because.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Now in the amount of times you're.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Do you know what though, when you get those rage
ticks that need to come out, you actually just need
them to come out, but they don't need to be sent.
They just need to be written in your notes and
then deleted.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Yeah, exactly, exactly, go for a walkout side and have
to think about it.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Yeah, but yeah, you know, and like just obsessively checking
social media like all those things. I think I definitely
did when I was younger, and it was more the.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
You know, the anxiety that comes with.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
And I guess that's like being in a public as
being a public figure as well, is because people do
often write horrible things about you and comment horrible things.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
So the fear was validated.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
You know, because I'm like, well, every time I do
check it, so one has something horrible.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
So why do you do it to yourself?
Speaker 4 (20:52):
Though?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Why do we do it to ourselves.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Because we're dumb.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yeah, And so.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
That's that's why I just think.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
And it's really funny because now I have such a
different relationship with social media. I have such a different
relationship with that sort of with technology in my phone
and stuff, because I just, you know, it's so irrelevant
to my life, and yeah, looking back on how I
used to be, I'm just like, you know, if you
just turn your phone off or delete the app, it
(21:22):
just goes away, like it actually doesn't exist.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
It's not here, it's not real.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
What's real is your family, is your friends, is what's
in front of you. And the tiny computer that's in
your head actually isn't the real world. You know.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
I am fascinated to know the true harm that it's
actually doing to us, Like, oh, there is no good.
I mean there are some good things that come from it.
That there's so many harmful things that are coming from
that little device.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
So many harmful things. It's wild.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
And then you even think about how your algorithms designed.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
It's designed to cause outrage.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
It knows what your beliefs are, and it will deliberately
trigger things in you. It's deliberately triggering things in you so.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
You stay on the app for longer.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
So they're deliberately making something, designing something to inflict anxiety
on you, to make you obsessed, to make you addicted,
to bring.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Up all these emotions.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Because if you're outraged, I've read this study, if you're outraged,
you're more likely to stay on social media than if
you're in a happy headspace.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
So that's so stup.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
So it is, and like you know, and it's so
wild to me that and I see and because I'll
go on every now and again, and then I see people.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Just buy it up, and you're like.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Go out, get off your phone. Life is actually beautiful
if you look right out aside. But you're right, we're
addicted to the next thing constantly, like jumping on having
an opinion, all right, next thing. Literally a day will
pass and there's a brand new thing that's like, but
I thought you kid so much about that. No, No,
there's a new thing to get expletly outraged and hateful
(23:10):
and nasty about.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
It's I think, Yeah, I was.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
So.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
I was on here in Melbourne pre COVID, and it
was just it was really toxic. Not the people I
was working with, but just we were going into a
really toxic time and then COVID happened, And I know
you went through a bloody tough time as you were
literally just trying to have an open, honest conversation on
(23:37):
your social media platform and then people went and on you,
canceled you.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
You were a victim of cancel culture.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Looking back, that must be pretty traumatic for you.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Yeah, you know, it was.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
It's hard to believe that it was even it even happened. Like,
I feel so removed from it now, you know, I
just feel so at the time I was really affected
by it, obviously, and but even now I still see
people trying to have conversations on there.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
And there is only one way you're allowed to think
these days.
Speaker 4 (24:16):
There's mainstream media tells you you have to think this way,
and if you don't think that way, then you're in
like everyone's entitled to pile up on you and have
a goal at you.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
And it's not it's not how a debate looks.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
It's not it's not healthy in any way for there
just to always be one perspective on everything and you're
right just sort of go through issues. It does feel
that way, and if you even just try, and you
try your beasts to kind of articulate, you just feel
like you're getting wrong. So then people just don't even engage.
And I think people just kind of shut themselves out
(24:50):
because you're just so worried that you're going to get canceled.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Yeah, I just think, you know, I just think it's
it's wild and I'll have the thing is like, what
am I best girlfriends? We have completely different points of
view of life, political opinions.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
I mean, I'm not too political anyway, but I'm curious.
I find myself curious.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
I'm like, like, even the whole Trump thing, right, I'm like,
why did everyone vote for him?
Speaker 3 (25:15):
So I was like listening to some of.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
His podcasts and I was like trying to understand and
it's and that's just my personality, Like I'm not the
type of person that goes you think like.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
That you're a bad person. Yeah, I don't talk to me,
like tell me why you think that.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
You know, I've got a friend that thinks it's fantastic
Trump got in And I was like, that's really I
find that really interesting because I don't know that opinion.
I don't have that point of view.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
But I'm not going to cancel you as a friend
because I think that because the reason that your opinion
is like there is because of the experiences that you've
had that have shaped you through your life. And that
doesn't make you right or wrong for the way that
you see it. It's so frustrating, isn't it?
Speaker 3 (25:56):
And isn't it interesting to have different points of view?
Is it interesting to have a different.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Conversation like I find And she raised some really valid
points and I was just like that's really interesting, and
I like having these conversations and I like immersing myself
with interesting people that have different beliefs because or else,
if you were just living in an echo chamber of
what you think, you're never going to open your mind up,
(26:19):
You're never going to see things differently, You're never gonna
learn or grow because you're just like, I'm right, my
opinion is right, this is right. And then that's how
you have this really toxic culture. And that's probably one
thing that I still think about that time in COVID,
And I just think because now even the conversations that
I was having back then are happening now, and I'm like,
(26:41):
it's like.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Four years two late.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
Guys like I'm trying to talk about this, and no
one wanted to have the conversation, and now people going
actually giving me something you were saying was like, you know,
maybe then everyone's mental health was really affected during that time.
O chay, that's interesting. You know, it's just it's just crazy.
So you just I just yeah, it was a really wild.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Was it a hard time to sort of wigde you
through your way through the industry after that, having all
these labels put on you called Eddie Vick's, I know
you're immunize you even got the jabs in the inns,
you know, have you found it really hard to shake that?
Speaker 3 (27:19):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
I don't I don't pay enough attention to it, to
be honest. I still work, like I still work, I
still do things. I just don't consume it anymore. And
I just think, yeah, I mean, it's just not real.
And if and people love chucking a label on people
love like generals love writing hectic articles, heavily criticisized articles.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
They love writing baby.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Headlines, and you're like, you guys have to live with
yourself doing that, like you know, and that's.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
Actually not real. And the people who know me, all
my friends and my family know me so well, and
they know that that is not what I'm like.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
I'm actually just a curious person that likes having conversations
about difficult things and interesting things that you know.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Now, like four years later, I can say.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
I can say that I feel really peaceful about everything
that happened, but at the time I wasn't at all obviously,
But yeah, I just think you don't actually know me.
And if you're going to check those labels on me,
go for it, because that's actually not true.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
It must have been really interesting when you went into
the reality TV world and then like prior to that,
you'd never had that exposure and all of these people
in the public telling you what they think of you.
How hard was it to not believe everything that you
read at the beginning?
Speaker 3 (28:44):
Oh yeah, I mean it was, well, it was interesting
because I even felt like that during that as well.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
It was really it was one of the most shocking
things I think I've ever experienced, is real is and
because like my season of The Bachelor blew up into
this media frenzy.
Speaker 3 (29:05):
And so that was really bizarre to me.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
And I remember just going to my sister's house and
just laying We're just being like, these people think that
they know me, but they don't. So it's been like
a consistent feeling throughout my career. But yeah, it was
really shocking. I kind of feel like I was like,
it's a different person, Like I just like I see
(29:28):
the person that they think I am, and I'm like,
that's not who I am, And so you're forming opinions
on who you think is me.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
And I found it hard if.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
I would, like, you know, go out somewhere and people
think that they know who you are or they get
or One thing I always find is like, randomly, you know,
friends or colleagues will say to me, oh I met
so Russell Crow and he's jerk. You know.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
I would just use that as an example. No one
has actually said that, but that's just an example, right,
And I'll be like, oh, do you actually know him?
Speaker 4 (30:00):
Like he could have been having a bad day, he
could have been had a lot of personal stresses, he
could have been Like I hate when people will have
a brief encounter with someone and label them like something
you know, and I'm just like, you have no idea
what was going on in that person's life.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
So I get really defensive of that.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
So anytime someone trust to badmount someone in the public eye,
I'm always like, you don't actually know.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Them on you because someone is always fighting a better
and you don't even know what's actually going on underneath.
And like, yeah, someone will come and comment and they'll
give you their two cents and then they can just
pass off, But that's lived with you. They don't realize
the impact that actually has on you.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
So you meet your partner Jordie.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
He seems like a real down to earth lad, Like
do you reckon that has.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Kept you sane. Oh yeah, absolutely. I mean, Jordy's the best.
Speaker 4 (30:59):
He's so down to earth, he's so funny, you know,
he has you know, he's just an amazing person. He
sees the world in an amazing way. And yeah, and we.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
Have a really fun live together.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
We travel around and he definitely keeps me saying I think,
and my brothers keep me saying as well, like they
and my sister, Like, I've got really close relationships with
my siblings, and they always keep you grounded, like no
matter what. So that's always an important thing. But I think, yeah,
having your own family and having a partner that loves
you so fiercely and passionately, Yeah, it just makes you
(31:37):
feel more secure.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
It makes you feel grounded, and it makes you just
you know.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
So I'll go out to Sydney and go do some
busy work stuff and then I come home to my family,
come home to Jordan and Ted and my sister down
the road and my nieces, and you're.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Like, oh, this is so nice. This is exactly what
it's about.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
You know, my niece's soccer games on Saturday, Like you know,
that's that's what's important. So all this other stuff is fun.
I like being creative. I like I even like going
to things. I like dressing up and seeing my makeup
artists and having fun having a champagne with her, and
you know, I like doing those things. But I also
am very happy to come home to my family.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
I don't know if that's what happens when you have
a baby, because I find exactly the same thing. Nothing
hits like getting home after going to this because we
live roually here in New Zealand, and I might even
be just gone for a day or two and I
come back and I'm like, oh my god, I love
I love this and I never want to leave this
and the city's nice to visit, but just coming home
(32:40):
as just like a warm, big hug. And I don't
know if that's because my baby's there now and that
like has it a massive impact on me, or I'm
just getting older.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
But there's something so beautiful about that.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
It is, isn't it. It's like your warm safe space. Yeah,
so I think that's nice. I think it's really good.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I think it's healthy to have that. And I think
you'll like to have.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
A successful career and no matter what field you're in,
you know, you have to have a safe time to
come home too, or else I think you might get
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Lost in it.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
How are you feeling about maybe number two coming and
making work? Heaven and the balance and the juggle? Is
that all kind of come on your mind where you're like,
I will just deal with it. Well, I get yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
It's funny. Well I actually feel sorry.
Speaker 4 (33:28):
I feel a bit sorry for this baby because I
haven't Like with Ted. I was just like, here's the
signs bananana now, and this is what I'm like, I'm
too busy.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Like do you forget you're pregnant some days?
Speaker 4 (33:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Same?
Speaker 4 (33:41):
You know it was even funny like my mother in
laws here and she poured a glass of wine.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
I was like, yes, oh wait pregnant.
Speaker 4 (33:48):
I was like, I just keep forgetting for it. And
I'm like, oh wait, I can't sorry about that. So yeah,
I sort of keep forgetting unpregnant. But in terms of yeah,
I mean, this one's an interesting one because I think
when I had Ted, I knew that I wanted to
have a second one. So I sort of was like
(34:09):
dibbling a little bit of work, like doing a bit
of radio, doing a bit of like this and that,
and then and we traveled for it.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
We've got to travel show here, so that was really fun.
Speaker 4 (34:20):
But yeah, it's different with this second one because I
know that this is probably the last one I want
to have. And then so once we get him in
a nice comfy age, I'm really excited to get back
to work. Actually, I'm excited to be creative again and
actually use my brain. So I think, you know, as
(34:41):
much as i'm I think I've learned a lot during
this period of time to be able to balance it
properly hopefully anyway, to be able to go and do work,
and then you know, my family can come with me.
We've got a pretty flexible lifestyle, and then we can
go and travel and then we can you know, do
other bits and pieces. But I think, yeah, I definitely,
(35:01):
I'm definitely looking forward to being creative again.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Do you reckon you'll get into acting again?
Speaker 3 (35:07):
I don't know. I mean, I hope so.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
I love acting, but you know, the roles are so
far and few between, you know, even for my girlfriends
who are like auditioning constantly, going, going, going, going, Like
you know, it's a bit of a habster wheel sometimes.
So I like to be realistic. So I'm putting it
out to the universe that I'm ready and willing to work.
(35:32):
What that comes back to me with is I don't
I don't know what that's going to be, and I've
never known what that's going to be.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
So I find that exciting.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
I love that toe like following what feels good following
you get into aition and it somehow just all works out.
You're literally living the dream though filming a TV shot
going round in a caravan like did you did you
deliberately manifest that or did that just up?
Speaker 3 (35:56):
It just happened, and this is what happens in life.
Speaker 4 (35:59):
So we because Jordan and I love traveling and we
were doing this huge ship around Australia and I was
like posting that occasionally on social media and people were like, oh, man,
like you should film it, and we didn't have the
capacity to do that, so we just did a podcast.
And then a production company who I'd worked with previously
reached out to us and they're like, oh my gosh,
(36:20):
like the podcast, we love it, we want to turn
it into a Telly show. And we were just like, well,
I mean, I didn't even I didn't even envision that,
but it's the best thing ever. So we did season
one traveling around, and we just filmed it ourselves and
then they would come and do like little segments and
bits and pieces.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
But they wanted it to be like a fly in
the wall.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
Type show where it's just us cruising around. I think
you know, YouTube makes like that's that version of filming
has become quite popular anyway, So the production company is like,
we love it, and then we just and ship off
the footage Todam and they edit it together. And we're
(37:03):
about to go on another trip for season two actually,
and it's going to be a little bit different because
I'm pregnant and grumpy, so.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Hey know that they'll give the heightened dramatic you know,
says where you're the villain.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
Last time it was last time it was like Bushwise
and you know, and now.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
It's just like this pregnant lady like anyway, but it'll
be really fun.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
That is loving the dream. I love it.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
And do you see that kind of got like how
comel would it be to go around the world and
do like a full on travel show with two babies
in total?
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Imagine that.
Speaker 4 (37:44):
Well, we always say that we're like, oh man, we
should go, like because we always we'll just be seeing
it home. We're like, we should go to Japan and
we could film the travel show in Japan.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
And so we always dream about it.
Speaker 4 (37:54):
Who knows what's going to happen, hey, but yeah, that
would be really fun. It would be quite chay to
be two children and yeah, that would be.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
For They call it world schooling.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
I know, I know someone with two kids at the
moment and they're going through Europe and they call it,
I think it's world schooling or something like that, and
it's like your classroom is around the world and then
you just go through different countries. It's pretty It would
be hectic and stressful, but like the memories you create
that would.
Speaker 4 (38:21):
Be so cool, you know. And so they're teaching, like
educating their kids on the.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
Road, is that what?
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Yeah, well, I mean the kids are still like toddler,
like they're not at school yet, but but you know,
the world is their classroom in the sense that they
kind of learn culturally through all these different countries and
pretty evac pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
That's really fun.
Speaker 4 (38:42):
But you even see like every time we do a trip,
Ted comes back and he's so like he loves being outside,
he loves people.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
He's just a really curious cat.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
So I think that it helps him massively because he just,
you know, and we'll go up to random kids and
start playing with them, and I think it's fantastic for him.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
And he just like will get a stick and just
play with stick and just hit me.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
Like like there's he loves like just walking past things
and it's like tapping things, and like he just will
find entertainment with a rock.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
That's perfect.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Do you think you can ever be a tiny home family?
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Were you full time love that life?
Speaker 4 (39:24):
Ah? Sometimes yes, I would say yes, and sometimes I
would say no.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
It depends on my mood.
Speaker 4 (39:32):
I just think sometimes I'm just like this caravan, it's
too small and I need some space. I also, I'm
quite an introverted person, so I do like my own
space and I recharge alone. So when I've got lots
of energies around me, I become very exhausted.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
So yeah, I would be able to do it for.
Speaker 4 (39:54):
A big stint of time, but then I would have
to go home.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
And we did a caravan interrupt the other day and
I just like came to the conclusion that you have
to minimalize and get rid of all your shit.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
I reckon, like if you're.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
Going on a caravan, drop just keep it so fun
with your staff because it just clogs up the place
so quickly.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
Oh mate, it really does. Did you enjoy it?
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Loved it? Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Loved it? And I found like we started getting our
grove just as we were about to leave, like you
sort of start getting into your own little routines and stuff.
But I regretted packing as much as I did. But
then I'm like, well, I Chalie kind of needed those clothes,
but it just feels like you just want to get
rid of all of your belongings, which I guess is
a good leason out of it, right, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:39):
Oh absolutely, And even we found that we tweets like
we packed all these things to keep ten and entertained,
and he only.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Liked playing with like his bloss He's that much for him.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
And then he's just outside, like I said before, we
sticks and rocks and just you know, playing, And I'm
just like, oh man, we really didn't need to pack
like a whole draw full of just sahit.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
Yeah, it's a good lesson, it is.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
And like kids will find entertainment no matter where they are.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
Totally.
Speaker 4 (41:08):
Now.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
I always wrap up the podcast with advice that you
give to your younger self. I did he say that
you don't need to see in the text messages.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
You need to see?
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Is there anything else that you'd add with a profound
note to wrap up the podcast?
Speaker 3 (41:24):
Oh, that's a good question. What would I tell my
younger self? I think I would tell like, I think
I would tell.
Speaker 4 (41:32):
My younger self that you're going to be okay, Like
you are going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay,
because when you're younger, when you get hit with speed bumps,
they've really hit, you know, and even even all the
stuff that I went through at home and away during
COVID and all that stuff that really hit and at
(41:53):
the time I was just like, I don't know how
I'm going to get over this. And then you do
and you end up being okay and everything's okay.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
You learn a valuable lesson and then you get a
little bit stronger, and then the Nuther speak comes. You know,
it's so like you're like, well, I guess you again,
But I.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
Just think, you know, just that validating feeling of being
like You're going to be okay. Everything's working out and
this is all part of the whole journey. And even
though it doesn't make sense right now, I promise you
in the future it'll make sense.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
I love it. Sam.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Thank you so much rejoining me on Slow Dance. And
I was so lovely to probably meet you.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
Well, that was my chat with Sam Frost. She was
so easy to talk to, such a lovely done earth
human and I just love the life that she's creating
with her partner.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
And their baby. And they're just doing it.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
They're just going out and doing it and creating the
dream life. I really enjoyed her take on motherhood and
her she really enjoyed it and her she felt so
inadequate in the build up that you know, she was
not going to be enough, she wasn't going to be
the secure attachment for her child. But she went and
she saw the psychologist and the things that she learned
(43:09):
as well as a parent. I just found that really
affirming to hear that only thirty percent of the time
you need to nail it and it comes down to
how you prepare the situation and you know, owning up
when new stuff up and saying sorry and not putting
the blame on the kid. So that made me feel
(43:29):
less of a failing mother, which was really nice. I
also just loved the simplicity of the phone and how
toxic it is. She's obviously learned that firsthand through being
on social media and rising to fame on reality TV
where everyone weighs in on you, and obviously there have
been some real challenges along.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
The way, particularly through COVID.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Oh my God, of course you'd want to three find
a way, but it seems like she's grown and she's
learned through that time, and she obviously has a really
strong network around her. That family unit has helped ground
her and made her realize, you know, what really matters,
and that half of the shite that we see on
the eternet is not real. Sometimes you just need to
(44:14):
get outside, take a deep breath, and walk away.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
From it all.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
I'd love to know what you got out of this
week's episode. It was a delight to chat to Sam.
I've got another episode coming out next week, but if
you've got any suggestions on who you think would be
great to talk to, you can always hit me up
on Instagram at Pja DJ and I'll see you back
next week for another episode.
With the Heads Podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Welcome back to another episode of Slow It Down.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I am your host, PJ Harding, and this podcast is
all around how we can find peace in the chaos.
Chaos is not going anywhere, I've learned that much. So
it's about finding ways that we can stay sane and
ground it in this wild world that we're living in.
And every week I've got a new guest who comes
(00:31):
on to share parts of their life and things that
help them when they're struggling. This week, I'm joined by
the gorgeous Sam Frost, who burst onto the scene in
Australia when she appeared on season two of The Bachelor
in twenty fourteen. There was quite the dramatic ending to
(00:51):
the season.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
You can look that up on line.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
But then Sam went on to start in the first
season of The Bachelorette Australia. She then went on to
do radio starring Home in a Way. She has become
a vocal mental health advocate and written her own book
called Believe by Sam Frost, and she this is the
coolest Thing. Most recently has gone around Australia and a
(01:18):
caravan with her partner and their one year old Ted
and they've filmed their travels, which we documented at a
new TV show, which I think is living the dream.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I really enjoyed.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Sitting down with Sam and having a chat and we
do cover a range of issues from cancel culture to
bringant see to the surprises of motherhood, and we talk
about her.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Own mental health struggles.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
So a reminder if you're in ensis one seven three
seven is a free service for Kiwi's feeling down, anxious,
a bit overwhelmed, or if you just need to chat someone,
you can call or text anytime for free. Twenty four seven.
Let's get into the chat. I am very excited for
(02:09):
our guest on the show today. Now I don't want
to make this about me, but we actually have a
few things in common. I'm finding you have a gorgeous
young son called Teddy ted Titty.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Yeah, ted Teddy whatever, and.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Now you're expecting baby double two.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
I am congratulations, thank.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
You so much. I'm really excited. Yeah. So the little
ones due in March next year. So I'm past halfway. Marcus,
I'm statid, which.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Are you so? How many how many weeks?
Speaker 4 (02:44):
You know?
Speaker 3 (02:45):
You know what? I can't really like twenty twenty two
or twenty.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Three I'm twenty tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
You are.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yeah, Oh it's horrible, arendous?
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Oh my god, I'm so sorry. How long did it
take me to get okay again?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
It was probably maybe like probably zoo teen sixteen weeks,
But then still I've definitely been more nauseous this time around.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Yeah, you know, it's so funny.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
I was exactly the same, And I've got girlfriends that
are now having their second and saying the same thing,
like everyone's just feeling really nauseous and vomity.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
I don't know if it's because we just don't get
a break.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
It's time round.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
So the body's like, hey, then, like, can you look
after me?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
I'm just going to turn my back on you.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Honestly, it's wild.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
I was like a couch potato, like literally stuck on
a couch for like two months.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
It was awful.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Oh and so what were you doing during that time?
Have you been, because obviously you've been filming this epic
caravan trip with your partner and your one year old
or two year old.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Yeah, so he's, oh my gosh, I'm so bad. Like months,
he's like one and a half almost two.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
It's funny when you like get beyond the months because
you like call them eleven months in twelve and thirteen.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Then you just lose track.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Oh I don't know, and I don't have the brain
capacity to do quick math and figure out what months
it is. And I'm like, I don't know, Like his
birthdays in March, you figure it out.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
So how did it fall into place with everything you're
doing at the moment? Like what was life looking like
for you when you felt pregnant for the second time?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Oh? Do you know what?
Speaker 4 (04:34):
It was so funny because we were actually caravanning.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
He's a little caravan baby, this one, because the caravan through.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Western Australia, and it was the first time. Have you
got another little baby?
Speaker 3 (04:48):
I do?
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I do?
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Yeah, okay, yeah yeah, just just the one.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yeah, I've got a two year old called Charlie.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Great, so you'll get it. So I was like, it
took me a really long time to start feeling like
myself again after my first and you know, because your
body is changing, you're tired, my son hates sleeping.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
So it was actually the first time I was like
feeling good.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
I was like, my body was getting back, I was
vibing again.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
I was having some cocktails and I.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
Was like, this is great, like, hallo, Sam, I've missed
you so much anyway, and then.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
We got a little bit too excited. Oh my god,
two is on the way.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
So I love it lot.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
It's such a good feeling when you start kind of
remembering what it was like to feel kind of normal
once you come out of that postpartum haze.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Right, yeah it is.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
And now that like we've gone like back to back,
I just I can't remember those two weeks of feeling
good and and I'm like, it's been a long time.
It's been years since I've felt like myself. I said
to my partner. I was like, no one misses me
more than me. Yeah, yes, because like I'm sure he
doesn't say anything, but I'm sure there's moments where he's like, oh, like,
(06:08):
well he actually does say. I guess all you do
is sleep like I'm died.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
I'm really tired.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Anyway, It's yeah, it is a lot, Are you quite?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Like I don't know what it's been the last couple
of days. I've just been so angry.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
It is stupid the stuff, And I'm like, I have
to keep telling myself, this is the hormones, it's not
you you're not that much of a badge.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
Sometimes I don't know anymore, you know what I mean,
Like it's all like merged into one. I'm like, I
can't blame my hormones anyone, I'm not sure, but yeah,
I've been foul, like just so grumpy. And we did
another trip in our caravan just recently, just going up
North Queensland and Australia, and I had to say to George.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
I was just like, I'm so sorry. I was just
being a grumpy Yeah, Like I was so grumpy. I
was just like uncomfortable and.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
You wake up from it and then you're like, oh
and you don't really remember what you were like yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Yeah, seriously, honestly, it's really crazy, but yeah I did.
Actually I had to apologize. I was like, I know,
I'm being a grumpy and I am anyway, and like
I'm my face is puffy and I'm tired.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah you still do you reckon? You're selling the sweet
spot like a nets you can try or are you
starting to get to the other end.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
There's like that sweet spot in the middle, right you
know what.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
I had that in the first and I'm still waiting
for the sweet spot. I'm like, is it coming? You know,
but I always have to I'm always like saying to myself.
I said, actually, a girlfriend of mine said to me,
because I'm always like, I'm so grateful, I'm so grateful,
I'm so grateful. Because I am so grateful, I'm not huge.
And my girlfriend said to me, you know, you don't
have to say grateful all the time. You can just
say you hate it.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Okay, that is really fucking hard.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Okay hard, but yeah, so anyway, it's yeah, it's a journey.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I loved hearing the very real fears that you had
going into motherhood for the first time. I think that's
so relatable. I remember writing down all of these things
that I just thought I was inadequately equipped, like all
of the reasons why I was inadequately Oh my god,
why can I not say that inadequately equipment to be
(08:21):
a mom? And I was like, oh my god, I
can barely look after myself, like I get anxious. Is
just going to exacerbate all of these emotions. Can you
talk through how you felt before and then what the
reality for you was like? And I know this isn't
for everyone, but I know so many people are scared
that they're just going to turn into the biggest monster ever,
(08:42):
which we you know, sometimes you do have those moments,
but oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Those moments. But yeah, I think the fears beforehand.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
You know, I've had like years and years battling depression
and anxiety, and I.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Was really nervous that I was.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
I was worried I was going to have personal depression
because I felt like it's in my family, and I
just wanted to make sure that I could be the
best mother. I didn't want to you know, I've had
to work through a lot of things. I've through psychologists
and all sorts of things for you basically since I
(09:25):
was a late teenager because of things that I've gone
through in my childhood, and I just wanted to make
sure that I wasn't going to project any of that
onto my children. I was worried that, you know, like,
is am I too broken to have a child?
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Do you know what I mean? So I think that
was a real fear for me.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
And then I went to see a psychologist when I
found out I was pregnant, a new one because I'd
moved up the coast, and I found this really amazing
moment she was so fantastic, and I saw her regularly
from about a second try to after Ted was born,
and she was amazing at just alleviating fears and helping me.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
With tools of what to do when I'm feeling low.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
She's like, she goes, because when you have that baby,
then all of a sudden, all these hormones are happening,
and you.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Know, so like trying to trying to be.
Speaker 4 (10:23):
The best mum already when you don't have these issues
is hard enough, let alone if you do have a
history with mental illness. So anyway, but she just reassured me,
and she was amazing. So I'm so glad that I
did that. And then the reality is I loved being
like I love being a mum, and I was like
as soon as Ted was born, I was just like
(10:46):
I was vibing it. I love newborn stage. And you know,
I knew that it was only temporary. You're tired, for sure,
but you've got this beautiful bundle that you just love
more than anything in this world. And you know, my
son is the most happiest secure. I know that he
feels safe, and I feel like I'm doing a pretty
(11:08):
good job. So yeah, I feel really grateful that I
had that help during my pregnancy, just that reassurance, and yeah,
I feel really confident with where.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
I'm at the moment.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
It's so refreshing to hear and I've heard you speak
about this before about motherhood and such a positive light.
It's so nice to hear the beautiful reality of the amazing,
magical time it is as well. And it's almost like
mums have shame in that, you know, if they have
a positive experience, whether it's the birth or whether it's
the pregnancy, you just kind of want to keep it
(11:41):
quiet because you don't want to make others around you
feel shit.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
About themselves, right, But it shouldn't have to be that.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Way, And if you have a good experience, I think
it's equally important to share it.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
Yeah, I think so too, And I've thoroughly enjoyed being
a mum. Like I think that I feel like my
life is actually started now that I have a child,
and I think about what I was doing beforehand, and
I was like, what was I even doing?
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I just you know, just I felt like I was
just like floating around And that's just that's just my
personal experience, you know.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
I have so many friends that aren't having children, that
can't have children.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
So this is just my personal experience and I'm just
sharing that.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
And I know some people are completely different, but yeah,
I just really felt I just feel like I have
purpose now and it just is so.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Fulfilling to be a mother, you know. Yeah, And I
love it.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
Like he's like he's like the funny funny and I
get to hang out with like this really small, funny
human all the time.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
The more they talk, Oh my god, it's just so good.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I know, it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, when you were seeing the psychologists and she sort
of went through, you know, some tips and tracks and
techniques that you could use. Can you share some of
those things that do help you in those times when
you feeling really low and you're feeling really lost.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Yeah, well, a lot of the things that she was
talking to me about was because the main issue that
I had during those during my pregnancy, the thing that
was weighing on me the most is I wanted to
make sure my child has a secure attachment to me
because I have had a I can't remember what it's
called now that I'm a.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Would have probably come to me, I don't have a healthy.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
One and secure attachment or I know the word, I
know what you made think, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
I just can't think of it either.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Yeah either. Anyway, our brain's art working. That doesn't matter,
you know brains. Yeah, so yeah, So anyway, that was
the biggest thing.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
And she told me, she goes, do you know you
only have to get it right thirty percent of the
time to have a secure attachment to your child. She's
that's it, And she's like, and the biggest thing is
the repair stage of the cycle.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
So you know, you you might. She was, You're gonna have.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Days where you raise your voice. You're gonna have days
that you're not your best. You're gonna have days where
you behave the way that you don't want to behave.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
And she's like, because you're tired, your.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
Hormonier, you've got a lot of things going on, you've
got stresses everywhere. She goes, he's perfectly normal to break,
to not be your perfect self, to not be the
best mum all the time. And she goes, and that's fine,
but it's how you recover from those moments that's.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
What creates a secure attachment.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
So saying apologizing to your child is what is so
much more beneficial to the child than if you're this
perfect mum all the time, do you know what I mean?
So if you so I doled all the time, Like
you know, I was really tired, and I you know,
I you know.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Raise my voice at ted because he was just screaming
at me and I was trying it.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
I was on this important call and I was like, mate,
I'm on the phone. And afterwards and like, I don't
like doing that. Obviously that's the girl.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
That's horrid, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
It's horrific.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
And then afterwards, even though he's only one and a half,
I'm you're saying to him, I sat him down, I
gave him big cuddle, and I was just like, I'm
really sorry, mate, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that.
I was just stressed and I was on the phone
and that's not okay, and I'm really sorry. And I
gave him a cuddle. Even though he doesn't understand what
that means. I'm sure he understands that I'm apologizing and
(15:18):
giving him a hug and repairing that and not just
you know, the last thing you want to do is
then get off the phone and then yell at you
child and be like I was on the phone, like
that's not going to be helpful at all.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
So it's it's owning your behavior because that first of all,
you just say that makes me feel so much better
because no mother is perfect. I don't think any mother
is perfect, like at all of it that, but that
is something I consciously try and do is just own
up when I've stuffed up and saying that was mummy
shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry, mummy's tired. She
(15:52):
didn't mean that. I love you so much, you know,
and then just give them that kind of affirming that
they are loved and it's not there and I don't
have that sense of blame.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
Yes, absolutely, And she said to me, that's the most
important thing. That's that's far more important than anything else.
And yeah, She's like, you know, if you're if you're
a good mon thirty percent of the time and you're
getting it right, then that's going to create a secure attachment.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
And I was just like, gee, that's not too bad.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
So when I talk to my friends and family about it,
I was like, mate, thirty percent of the time, don't.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Be so hard on yourself.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Yeah, it's a good one.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
It's a really good one.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
What about like tools that you use too, I mean
not from the psychologist, but things that have worked for
you over the years.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
When you are in a really.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Tough space mentally and you just need to break free
in a way, like you just you're in a rut
and you just want to reset.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
What do you do?
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Then?
Speaker 3 (16:49):
The first thing I would do is get rid of
my phone.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
I think phones are so problematic in terms of when
you're in that spirally head headspace and you're like feeling
anxious and you're feeling down. I don't think it's I
don't I don't think social media is good for your
mental health at all. I think that turning your phone
off and going outside and breathing and trying to ground yourself,
(17:18):
like going for a walk, going for a drive, doing
something that sort of takes.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
You out of your head.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Because a lot of the time, you know, people recommend
going for walks when you're feeling really anxious, but sometimes
you don't have that energy because you're you know, depending
on where you're at with your mental health, you know,
you might not have energy to go for a walk.
So I would say to people, leave your phone at home,
go for a drive and you know, either listen to
nothing or listen to music. And I always find that
(17:50):
that helps.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Me sort of like shift through my brain and ground me.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
I think that's a really easy way. You know, when
I'm when I can feel like a panic attack coming on,
I'll lay on the ground. And fortunately I haven't had
this for a while, but I will lay on the
ground and do breathing exercises and just count and breathe in.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Deeply and breathe out.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
And all I'm doing is telling my body that I'm
actually safe and everything's okay.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
And it's just helped to regulate your.
Speaker 4 (18:22):
Body to calm itself and to realize you're actually safe
instead of flicking into that flight.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Or flight mode.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
So there are two things that I find really easy
and things that you actually do because there's so many
tips out there, Like you look online and you're like.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I'm not doing that.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
I'm not doing that, like you know, especially when you're
in that teeth excuse me, Yeah, when you're in that
anxious headspace, you're not going to be I can't even
remember what they are anymore, but I remember reading them going, no.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
One's doing that.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Just keep it well, keep it simple.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Lay on the ground and breathe, or go in the
car and drive and do not take your phone.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
That's what I think is really helpful.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
And getting out of nature of course, like you know,
going sitting outside, you know, and I just think, you know,
I think that's really beneficial for me.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
When you were in your peak fame of reality TV
and then Home and Away and you know, you were
in the media a lot, did you do those things
or do you reckon your head unhealthy habits because you didn't.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
Know, well, I definitely had unhealthy habits, you know that,
like going on my phone and.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
And you know, certainly in my twenties, I used.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
To you know, you would get anxious and you' if
I was in a relationship, you know, you'd feel anxious
about something, and then you're banging out heaps of texts
and you know, like you're like, put the fine down.
You were not going to solve anything in a text message.
That is what I would tell my younger self because.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Now in the amount of times you're.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Do you know what though, when you get those rage
ticks that need to come out, you actually just need
them to come out, but they don't need to be sent.
They just need to be written in your notes and
then deleted.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Yeah, exactly, exactly, go for a walkout side and have
to think about it.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Yeah, but yeah, you know, and like just obsessively checking
social media like all those things. I think I definitely
did when I was younger, and it was more the.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
You know, the anxiety that comes with.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
And I guess that's like being in a public as
being a public figure as well, is because people do
often write horrible things about you and comment horrible things.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
So the fear was validated.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
You know, because I'm like, well, every time I do
check it, so one has something horrible.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
So why do you do it to yourself?
Speaker 4 (20:52):
Though?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Why do we do it to ourselves.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Because we're dumb.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yeah, And so.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
That's that's why I just think.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
And it's really funny because now I have such a
different relationship with social media. I have such a different
relationship with that sort of with technology in my phone
and stuff, because I just, you know, it's so irrelevant
to my life, and yeah, looking back on how I
used to be, I'm just like, you know, if you
just turn your phone off or delete the app, it
(21:22):
just goes away, like it actually doesn't exist.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
It's not here, it's not real.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
What's real is your family, is your friends, is what's
in front of you. And the tiny computer that's in
your head actually isn't the real world. You know.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
I am fascinated to know the true harm that it's
actually doing to us, Like, oh, there is no good.
I mean there are some good things that come from it.
That there's so many harmful things that are coming from
that little device.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
So many harmful things. It's wild.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
And then you even think about how your algorithms designed.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
It's designed to cause outrage.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
It knows what your beliefs are, and it will deliberately
trigger things in you. It's deliberately triggering things in you so.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
You stay on the app for longer.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
So they're deliberately making something, designing something to inflict anxiety
on you, to make you obsessed, to make you addicted,
to bring.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Up all these emotions.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Because if you're outraged, I've read this study, if you're outraged,
you're more likely to stay on social media than if
you're in a happy headspace.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
So that's so stup.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
So it is, and like you know, and it's so
wild to me that and I see and because I'll
go on every now and again, and then I see people.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Just buy it up, and you're like.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Go out, get off your phone. Life is actually beautiful
if you look right out aside. But you're right, we're
addicted to the next thing constantly, like jumping on having
an opinion, all right, next thing. Literally a day will
pass and there's a brand new thing that's like, but
I thought you kid so much about that. No, No,
there's a new thing to get expletly outraged and hateful
(23:10):
and nasty about.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
It's I think, Yeah, I was.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
So.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
I was on here in Melbourne pre COVID, and it
was just it was really toxic. Not the people I
was working with, but just we were going into a
really toxic time and then COVID happened, And I know
you went through a bloody tough time as you were
literally just trying to have an open, honest conversation on
(23:37):
your social media platform and then people went and on you,
canceled you.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
You were a victim of cancel culture.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Looking back, that must be pretty traumatic for you.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Yeah, you know, it was.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
It's hard to believe that it was even it even happened. Like,
I feel so removed from it now, you know, I
just feel so at the time I was really affected
by it, obviously, and but even now I still see
people trying to have conversations on there.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
And there is only one way you're allowed to think
these days.
Speaker 4 (24:16):
There's mainstream media tells you you have to think this way,
and if you don't think that way, then you're in
like everyone's entitled to pile up on you and have
a goal at you.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
And it's not it's not how a debate looks.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
It's not it's not healthy in any way for there
just to always be one perspective on everything and you're
right just sort of go through issues. It does feel
that way, and if you even just try, and you
try your beasts to kind of articulate, you just feel
like you're getting wrong. So then people just don't even engage.
And I think people just kind of shut themselves out
(24:50):
because you're just so worried that you're going to get canceled.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Yeah, I just think, you know, I just think it's
it's wild and I'll have the thing is like, what
am I best girlfriends? We have completely different points of
view of life, political opinions.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
I mean, I'm not too political anyway, but I'm curious.
I find myself curious.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
I'm like, like, even the whole Trump thing, right, I'm like,
why did everyone vote for him?
Speaker 3 (25:15):
So I was like listening to some of.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
His podcasts and I was like trying to understand and
it's and that's just my personality, Like I'm not the
type of person that goes you think like.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
That you're a bad person. Yeah, I don't talk to me,
like tell me why you think that.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
You know, I've got a friend that thinks it's fantastic
Trump got in And I was like, that's really I
find that really interesting because I don't know that opinion.
I don't have that point of view.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
But I'm not going to cancel you as a friend
because I think that because the reason that your opinion
is like there is because of the experiences that you've
had that have shaped you through your life. And that
doesn't make you right or wrong for the way that
you see it. It's so frustrating, isn't it?
Speaker 3 (25:56):
And isn't it interesting to have different points of view?
Is it interesting to have a different.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Conversation like I find And she raised some really valid
points and I was just like that's really interesting, and
I like having these conversations and I like immersing myself
with interesting people that have different beliefs because or else,
if you were just living in an echo chamber of
what you think, you're never going to open your mind up,
(26:19):
You're never going to see things differently, You're never gonna
learn or grow because you're just like, I'm right, my
opinion is right, this is right. And then that's how
you have this really toxic culture. And that's probably one
thing that I still think about that time in COVID,
And I just think because now even the conversations that
I was having back then are happening now, and I'm like,
(26:41):
it's like.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Four years two late.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
Guys like I'm trying to talk about this, and no
one wanted to have the conversation, and now people going
actually giving me something you were saying was like, you know,
maybe then everyone's mental health was really affected during that time.
O chay, that's interesting. You know, it's just it's just crazy.
So you just I just yeah, it was a really wild.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Was it a hard time to sort of wigde you
through your way through the industry after that, having all
these labels put on you called Eddie Vick's, I know
you're immunize you even got the jabs in the inns,
you know, have you found it really hard to shake that?
Speaker 3 (27:19):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
I don't I don't pay enough attention to it, to
be honest. I still work, like I still work, I
still do things. I just don't consume it anymore. And
I just think, yeah, I mean, it's just not real.
And if and people love chucking a label on people
love like generals love writing hectic articles, heavily criticisized articles.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
They love writing baby.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Headlines, and you're like, you guys have to live with
yourself doing that, like you know, and that's.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
Actually not real. And the people who know me, all
my friends and my family know me so well, and
they know that that is not what I'm like.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
I'm actually just a curious person that likes having conversations
about difficult things and interesting things that you know.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Now, like four years later, I can say.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
I can say that I feel really peaceful about everything
that happened, but at the time I wasn't at all obviously,
But yeah, I just think you don't actually know me.
And if you're going to check those labels on me,
go for it, because that's actually not true.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
It must have been really interesting when you went into
the reality TV world and then like prior to that,
you'd never had that exposure and all of these people
in the public telling you what they think of you.
How hard was it to not believe everything that you
read at the beginning?
Speaker 3 (28:44):
Oh yeah, I mean it was, well, it was interesting
because I even felt like that during that as well.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
It was really it was one of the most shocking
things I think I've ever experienced, is real is and
because like my season of The Bachelor blew up into
this media frenzy.
Speaker 3 (29:05):
And so that was really bizarre to me.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
And I remember just going to my sister's house and
just laying We're just being like, these people think that
they know me, but they don't. So it's been like
a consistent feeling throughout my career. But yeah, it was
really shocking. I kind of feel like I was like,
it's a different person, Like I just like I see
(29:28):
the person that they think I am, and I'm like,
that's not who I am, And so you're forming opinions
on who you think is me.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
And I found it hard if.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
I would, like, you know, go out somewhere and people
think that they know who you are or they get
or One thing I always find is like, randomly, you know,
friends or colleagues will say to me, oh I met
so Russell Crow and he's jerk. You know.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
I would just use that as an example. No one
has actually said that, but that's just an example, right,
And I'll be like, oh, do you actually know him?
Speaker 4 (30:00):
Like he could have been having a bad day, he
could have been had a lot of personal stresses, he
could have been Like I hate when people will have
a brief encounter with someone and label them like something
you know, and I'm just like, you have no idea
what was going on in that person's life.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
So I get really defensive of that.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
So anytime someone trust to badmount someone in the public eye,
I'm always like, you don't actually know.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Them on you because someone is always fighting a better
and you don't even know what's actually going on underneath.
And like, yeah, someone will come and comment and they'll
give you their two cents and then they can just
pass off, But that's lived with you. They don't realize
the impact that actually has on you.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
So you meet your partner Jordie.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
He seems like a real down to earth lad, Like
do you reckon that has.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Kept you sane. Oh yeah, absolutely. I mean, Jordy's the best.
Speaker 4 (30:59):
He's so down to earth, he's so funny, you know,
he has you know, he's just an amazing person. He
sees the world in an amazing way. And yeah, and we.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
Have a really fun live together.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
We travel around and he definitely keeps me saying I think,
and my brothers keep me saying as well, like they
and my sister, Like, I've got really close relationships with
my siblings, and they always keep you grounded, like no
matter what. So that's always an important thing. But I think, yeah,
having your own family and having a partner that loves
you so fiercely and passionately, Yeah, it just makes you
(31:37):
feel more secure.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
It makes you feel grounded, and it makes you just
you know.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
So I'll go out to Sydney and go do some
busy work stuff and then I come home to my family,
come home to Jordan and Ted and my sister down
the road and my nieces, and you're.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Like, oh, this is so nice. This is exactly what
it's about.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
You know, my niece's soccer games on Saturday, Like you know,
that's that's what's important. So all this other stuff is fun.
I like being creative. I like I even like going
to things. I like dressing up and seeing my makeup
artists and having fun having a champagne with her, and
you know, I like doing those things. But I also
am very happy to come home to my family.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
I don't know if that's what happens when you have
a baby, because I find exactly the same thing. Nothing
hits like getting home after going to this because we
live roually here in New Zealand, and I might even
be just gone for a day or two and I
come back and I'm like, oh my god, I love
I love this and I never want to leave this
and the city's nice to visit, but just coming home
(32:40):
as just like a warm, big hug. And I don't
know if that's because my baby's there now and that
like has it a massive impact on me, or I'm
just getting older.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
But there's something so beautiful about that.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
It is, isn't it. It's like your warm safe space. Yeah,
so I think that's nice. I think it's really good.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
I think it's healthy to have that. And I think
you'll like to have.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
A successful career and no matter what field you're in,
you know, you have to have a safe time to
come home too, or else I think you might get
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Lost in it.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
How are you feeling about maybe number two coming and
making work? Heaven and the balance and the juggle? Is
that all kind of come on your mind where you're like,
I will just deal with it. Well, I get yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
It's funny. Well I actually feel sorry.
Speaker 4 (33:28):
I feel a bit sorry for this baby because I
haven't Like with Ted. I was just like, here's the
signs bananana now, and this is what I'm like, I'm
too busy.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Like do you forget you're pregnant some days?
Speaker 4 (33:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
Same?
Speaker 4 (33:41):
You know it was even funny like my mother in
laws here and she poured a glass of wine.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
I was like, yes, oh wait pregnant.
Speaker 4 (33:48):
I was like, I just keep forgetting for it. And
I'm like, oh wait, I can't sorry about that. So yeah,
I sort of keep forgetting unpregnant. But in terms of yeah,
I mean, this one's an interesting one because I think
when I had Ted, I knew that I wanted to
have a second one. So I sort of was like
(34:09):
dibbling a little bit of work, like doing a bit
of radio, doing a bit of like this and that,
and then and we traveled for it.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
We've got to travel show here, so that was really fun.
Speaker 4 (34:20):
But yeah, it's different with this second one because I
know that this is probably the last one I want
to have. And then so once we get him in
a nice comfy age, I'm really excited to get back
to work. Actually, I'm excited to be creative again and
actually use my brain. So I think, you know, as
(34:41):
much as i'm I think I've learned a lot during
this period of time to be able to balance it
properly hopefully anyway, to be able to go and do work,
and then you know, my family can come with me.
We've got a pretty flexible lifestyle, and then we can
go and travel and then we can you know, do
other bits and pieces. But I think, yeah, I definitely,
(35:01):
I'm definitely looking forward to being creative again.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Do you reckon you'll get into acting again?
Speaker 3 (35:07):
I don't know. I mean, I hope so.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
I love acting, but you know, the roles are so
far and few between, you know, even for my girlfriends
who are like auditioning constantly, going, going, going, going, Like
you know, it's a bit of a habster wheel sometimes.
So I like to be realistic. So I'm putting it
out to the universe that I'm ready and willing to work.
(35:32):
What that comes back to me with is I don't
I don't know what that's going to be, and I've
never known what that's going to be.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
So I find that exciting.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
I love that toe like following what feels good following
you get into aition and it somehow just all works out.
You're literally living the dream though filming a TV shot
going round in a caravan like did you did you
deliberately manifest that or did that just up?
Speaker 3 (35:56):
It just happened, and this is what happens in life.
Speaker 4 (35:59):
So we because Jordan and I love traveling and we
were doing this huge ship around Australia and I was
like posting that occasionally on social media and people were like, oh, man,
like you should film it, and we didn't have the
capacity to do that, so we just did a podcast.
And then a production company who I'd worked with previously
reached out to us and they're like, oh my gosh,
(36:20):
like the podcast, we love it, we want to turn
it into a Telly show. And we were just like, well,
I mean, I didn't even I didn't even envision that,
but it's the best thing ever. So we did season
one traveling around, and we just filmed it ourselves and
then they would come and do like little segments and
bits and pieces.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
But they wanted it to be like a fly in
the wall.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
Type show where it's just us cruising around. I think
you know, YouTube makes like that's that version of filming
has become quite popular anyway, So the production company is like,
we love it, and then we just and ship off
the footage Todam and they edit it together. And we're
(37:03):
about to go on another trip for season two actually,
and it's going to be a little bit different because
I'm pregnant and grumpy, so.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Hey know that they'll give the heightened dramatic you know,
says where you're the villain.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
Last time it was last time it was like Bushwise
and you know, and now.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
It's just like this pregnant lady like anyway, but it'll
be really fun.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
That is loving the dream. I love it.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
And do you see that kind of got like how
comel would it be to go around the world and
do like a full on travel show with two babies
in total?
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Imagine that.
Speaker 4 (37:44):
Well, we always say that we're like, oh man, we
should go, like because we always we'll just be seeing
it home. We're like, we should go to Japan and
we could film the travel show in Japan.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
And so we always dream about it.
Speaker 4 (37:54):
Who knows what's going to happen, hey, but yeah, that
would be really fun. It would be quite chay to
be two children and yeah, that would be.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
For They call it world schooling.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
I know, I know someone with two kids at the
moment and they're going through Europe and they call it,
I think it's world schooling or something like that, and
it's like your classroom is around the world and then
you just go through different countries. It's pretty It would
be hectic and stressful, but like the memories you create
that would.
Speaker 4 (38:21):
Be so cool, you know. And so they're teaching, like
educating their kids on the.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
Road, is that what?
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Yeah, well, I mean the kids are still like toddler,
like they're not at school yet, but but you know,
the world is their classroom in the sense that they
kind of learn culturally through all these different countries and
pretty evac pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
That's really fun.
Speaker 4 (38:42):
But you even see like every time we do a trip,
Ted comes back and he's so like he loves being outside,
he loves people.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
He's just a really curious cat.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
So I think that it helps him massively because he just,
you know, and we'll go up to random kids and
start playing with them, and I think it's fantastic for him.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
And he just like will get a stick and just
play with stick and just hit me.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
Like like there's he loves like just walking past things
and it's like tapping things, and like he just will
find entertainment with a rock.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
That's perfect.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Do you think you can ever be a tiny home family?
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Were you full time love that life?
Speaker 4 (39:24):
Ah? Sometimes yes, I would say yes, and sometimes I
would say no.
Speaker 3 (39:30):
It depends on my mood.
Speaker 4 (39:32):
I just think sometimes I'm just like this caravan, it's
too small and I need some space. I also, I'm
quite an introverted person, so I do like my own
space and I recharge alone. So when I've got lots
of energies around me, I become very exhausted.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
So yeah, I would be able to do it for.
Speaker 4 (39:54):
A big stint of time, but then I would have
to go home.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
And we did a caravan interrupt the other day and
I just like came to the conclusion that you have
to minimalize and get rid of all your shit.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
I reckon, like if you're.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
Going on a caravan, drop just keep it so fun
with your staff because it just clogs up the place
so quickly.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
Oh mate, it really does. Did you enjoy it?
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Loved it? Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Loved it? And I found like we started getting our
grove just as we were about to leave, like you
sort of start getting into your own little routines and stuff.
But I regretted packing as much as I did. But
then I'm like, well, I Chalie kind of needed those clothes,
but it just feels like you just want to get
rid of all of your belongings, which I guess is
a good leason out of it, right, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:39):
Oh absolutely, And even we found that we tweets like
we packed all these things to keep ten and entertained,
and he only.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Liked playing with like his bloss He's that much for him.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
And then he's just outside, like I said before, we
sticks and rocks and just you know, playing, And I'm
just like, oh man, we really didn't need to pack
like a whole draw full of just sahit.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
Yeah, it's a good lesson, it is.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
And like kids will find entertainment no matter where they are.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
Totally.
Speaker 4 (41:08):
Now.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
I always wrap up the podcast with advice that you
give to your younger self. I did he say that
you don't need to see in the text messages.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
You need to see?
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Is there anything else that you'd add with a profound
note to wrap up the podcast?
Speaker 3 (41:24):
Oh, that's a good question. What would I tell my
younger self? I think I would tell like, I think
I would tell.
Speaker 4 (41:32):
My younger self that you're going to be okay, Like
you are going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay,
because when you're younger, when you get hit with speed bumps,
they've really hit, you know, and even even all the
stuff that I went through at home and away during
COVID and all that stuff that really hit and at
(41:53):
the time I was just like, I don't know how
I'm going to get over this. And then you do
and you end up being okay and everything's okay.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
You learn a valuable lesson and then you get a
little bit stronger, and then the Nuther speak comes. You know,
it's so like you're like, well, I guess you again,
But I.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
Just think, you know, just that validating feeling of being
like You're going to be okay. Everything's working out and
this is all part of the whole journey. And even
though it doesn't make sense right now, I promise you
in the future it'll make sense.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
I love it. Sam.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Thank you so much rejoining me on Slow Dance. And
I was so lovely to probably meet you.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
Well, that was my chat with Sam Frost. She was
so easy to talk to, such a lovely done earth
human and I just love the life that she's creating
with her partner.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
And their baby. And they're just doing it.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
They're just going out and doing it and creating the
dream life. I really enjoyed her take on motherhood and
her she really enjoyed it and her she felt so
inadequate in the build up that you know, she was
not going to be enough, she wasn't going to be
the secure attachment for her child. But she went and
she saw the psychologist and the things that she learned
(43:09):
as well as a parent. I just found that really
affirming to hear that only thirty percent of the time
you need to nail it and it comes down to
how you prepare the situation and you know, owning up
when new stuff up and saying sorry and not putting
the blame on the kid. So that made me feel
(43:29):
less of a failing mother, which was really nice. I
also just loved the simplicity of the phone and how
toxic it is. She's obviously learned that firsthand through being
on social media and rising to fame on reality TV
where everyone weighs in on you, and obviously there have
been some real challenges along.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
The way, particularly through COVID.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Oh my God, of course you'd want to three find
a way, but it seems like she's grown and she's
learned through that time, and she obviously has a really
strong network around her. That family unit has helped ground
her and made her realize, you know, what really matters,
and that half of the shite that we see on
the eternet is not real. Sometimes you just need to
(44:14):
get outside, take a deep breath, and walk away.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
From it all.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
I'd love to know what you got out of this
week's episode. It was a delight to chat to Sam.
I've got another episode coming out next week, but if
you've got any suggestions on who you think would be
great to talk to, you can always hit me up
on Instagram at Pja DJ and I'll see you back
next week for another episode.
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