December 10, 2024 • 25 mins
In this podcast episode, hosts Nicky and Ness share their experiences from an exceptionally busy week that included Nicky's TEDx talk at QUT and the launch of their book, 'Healthy Hustle.'
They discuss the preparation and emotional journey behind Nicky's TEDx talk, the importance of balancing a healthy hustle, and the lessons learned along the way.
Key takeaways include recognising the ongoing nature of maintaining a healthy hustle, trusting one's future self to handle upcoming challenges, and the importance of self-trust, even in moments of doubt.
Check out Nicky’s TEDx Talk here - https://youtu.be/5YdOukYPeu4
Learn more about Nicky and Ness https://businesstogether.com.au
Buy a copy of Healthy Hustle: The New Blueprint to Thrive in Business & Life www.healthyhustle.com.au
Follow us on socials
Instagram - @b2businesstogether
Facebook - @B2BusinessTogether
Connect on LinkedIn
Nicky LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/connectwithnicky/
Ness LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessamedling/
Give us a call
Nicky Miklos-Woodley 0403 191 404
Vanessa (Ness) Medling 0400 226 875
Or send us an email hello@businesstogether.com.au
Music by Jules Miklos-Woodley
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Nicky (00:04):
Welcome to the Smart Business Growth Podcast with
Nicky and.
Ness.
Ness (00:11):
We would like to acknowledge the traditional
custodians of country, theTurrbal and Bunurong people of
Brisbane and Melbournerespectively, where Nicky and I
both work and live, both workand live.
(00:33):
As we hit record on today'spodcast episode, we are coming
off the back of an amazing weekin our business.
Sunday was Nikki doing her TEDxtalk at QUT, which I flew up to
Brisbane for, and then twonights later, we were
celebrating the launch of ourbook Healthy Hustle.
So by the time this drops intoyour ears, hopefully the TEDx
talk that Nikki did will beavailable on the TEDx world and
(00:58):
we will drop a link into today'sshow notes so that you can have
a look at that.
And if it's not, please justsend us a DM and or an email and
we'll make sure you get thelink as soon as that comes
available and I highly, highly,highly recommend that you watch
it.
It's how many minutes is it,Nikki?
Is it 16 minutes About?
Nicky (01:18):
16.
Yeah, but I mean it's amazinghow many people have said that
they just can't believe it wasactually that long.
Yeah, that's right, because itdoesn't feel it.
Ness (01:26):
Goes in a blink of an eye, very, very powerful message.
And I was equally proud andinspired and just in awe of you
on the stage and how well youdid.
And it kind of got me thinkingthat, because I've been in the
behind the scenes angle of it aswell, watching just how much
(01:47):
preparation, how many hours uponhours go into refining the
script, into memorizing thescript it's just like phenomenal
the amount of work that you andevery other presenter on a TEDx
stage do to get there that Ijust felt like there could be
some gold in this.
And I reflect back to going to aTEDx talk in Cecil Street in
(02:09):
Melbourne back in March andcoming away from that texting
you saying oh my God, nikki, youneed to be on stage sharing
this message of healthy hustle,because it is a dream of yours,
a passion of yours, to do thepublic speaking, probably more
so than mine as well.
I mean, I do love speakingreally, but I know that that's
(02:29):
something that you're wanting toget into more of.
So to have the stage, to havethe presence, it's just amazing.
So in saying all of that, Ithink today let's unpack maybe
your top three lessons thatyou've learned, in whatever way
you want to describe them fromdoing the TEDx talk and I'll
(02:50):
throw it open to you to do somereflection as we go through that
.
Nicky (02:55):
I love this.
Thank you, ness.
And it is a dream come true.
And some people will have heardme say that 10 years ago I
bought a book called how to Do aTED Talk and I was like, oh,
I'm going to put it on out thereas a goal.
And then I was like, nah,that's too scary, I'll just put
that to the side.
And here we are.
It has absolutely been ajourney and you have seen the
behind the scenes.
You've been the champion, thepicker-upper-offer, the floor
(03:18):
person when I've had mymeltdowns, the you know, joining
me in the celebrations.
There is so much that goes onbehind the scenes to get ready
for an event like this, becauseyou kind of can get up and wing
it but you kind of can't.
You've got a script.
It's approved by TED.
There's speaker coaches you'reworking with and shout out to
Montana, who's the co-directorfor TEDxQT.
(03:39):
She has tough conversationswith you, encouraging you to dig
deeper, share more of yourpersonal story.
Everyone has their own sort ofexperience through this, but it
is really.
It's a personal developmentprogram.
It's a professional program,professional development, and
you've got to try and stick toyour script as much as possible.
So, memorizing 16 minutes yeah,I'm pretty proud and I
(04:02):
remembered everything.
So I'm pretty proud and Iremembered everything.
So I'm really proud To thepoint that it's okay.
A lot of people ask for lineslive and that's okay as well.
So I do want to do a shout outto all the fellow speakers and
definitely check them out aswell.
And it is such great timingbecause, as you said, we had the
book launch and just thatself-reflection.
So really, for the last ninemonths it's been nine months
(04:23):
since we first put pen orfingers to typing pads,
keyboards, to start the book,since the application for the
first TEDx round came around youknow that was, I think, feb
March.
Not long after you messaged meI was like, wow, this is meant
to be, and so it's.
My sister studied and was anaccredited midwife.
It's like birthing a baby I meannot literally, but it's a nine
(04:46):
month.
You know we've birthed thesethings to the world and the
synchronicity between the two ofthem coming together and this
message of healthy hustle.
The TEDx talk is called the Artof Healthy Hustle and, of
course, you know the book iscalled Healthy Hustle.
So in reflecting on this, Iwill also say it is incredible
how many people have reached outto both of us from the book
(05:08):
launch, from the TEDx, to saywow, I feel like you were
talking directly to me when wehad our interview from the TEDx.
It's just amazing.
So the first thing I want tosay to everyone is we're not
alone.
You are not alone in this Ifyou resonate with anything we've
ever talked about.
The reason we were able to do abook and a TEDx talk is because
there's so many people outthere feeling the pain of this,
(05:30):
of going hang on.
I want to be successful andachieve great things, but I also
don't want it to break me.
So that's that healthy, healthyhustle piece.
Ness (05:39):
I feel like adding to that .
We see you, we've been you andthat's what I love about our
experiences that led us intowriting the book.
For you it was about hittingthe burnout wall.
You know, for me I didn't havethat experience, but I was
definitely experiencing theentrepreneurial addiction which
(06:00):
we have another podcast on.
We'll put the link to that.
So there were different ways ofarriving at that end point,
which was unhealthy hustle.
And then, obviously, what wetalk about, what we're
passionate about, what we helppeople with, is finding a better
way.
We've got to still hustle, butwe really want to find a way to
be able to do that in a waythat's really healthy.
(06:21):
And I know, ironically, therewere times throughout the last
nine months where we would haveconversations around,
particularly for you, becauseyou were juggling the both of
those at the same time andthere's a lot of hours that you
put in above and beyond, butparticularly around noticing
writing a book on healthy hustleand feeling like I'm very
(06:44):
unhealthy in my hustle at themoment.
So no one gets this stuffperfect.
Nicky (06:49):
No, no, it's absolutely not.
It's that evolution.
That is my first big learn.
First big takeaway insight isthat the healthy hustle, this
evolution, this journey whateverwe call it to healthy hustle
continues.
It's not like you write a bookon it and you get it.
And I shared, at the booklaunch, a story where I was
right at the peak of we'dwritten the book but we were in
(07:12):
the middle of getting itpublished.
There's so many moving parts ofthat because we self-published.
I was at, I think, the third outof the fourth draft of the TEDx
script, so you're gettingdetailed feedback.
You're getting encouraged tostretch and pull and dig deeper.
These things were happening.
We just started working withthe speaker coaches.
Also, we've got everyday BAUbusiness going on and I find
(07:33):
myself in hospital gettingchecked out because I had chest
pains and Jules was looking atme lying on the hospital, mapped
up to the ECG, whatever themonitors and things, and she's
like Nikki, you know you justwrote a book on healthy hustle.
I was like, yeah, okay, that'strue.
So everything was fine.
It was just, you know, a lothappening and the hustle wasn't
(07:55):
so healthy.
But the beautiful thing in thatis that I realized, okay, what
do I need to do?
What are the principles, thestrategies, the tools that I
need to step back and reconnectwith?
And genuinely, I looked at thebook.
Even when we were writing thebook and writing about
entrepreneurial addiction, I'mlike there are times where I
have felt all those six signsand right now I'm feeling some
of them.
So let's just keep this in theflow instead of going into
(08:17):
destructive chaos.
But that's the first lesson andthe first learn.
There will be moments where itis so easy for the hustle to
become unhealthy, also crazy.
I've had people come up to meand say it's chest pain things.
There's a common science.
So again, this is a reminderthat you're not alone.
We have to take care of ourhealth number one.
And it's easy to get wrapped upinto it when we love what we do
(08:40):
and there's lots of really coolthings going on or we're caught
in that busy trap, pop thepause button.
What do you need to reconnectwith?
And I'm really proud to saythat in that moment, which was
probably a few months ago now, Iwas like great, I'll get back
to those principles.
And I talked to you and I waslike what can I do with Jules?
And it was easier to implementthat stuff Definitely as it
would have been than it wouldhave been 10 years ago.
Ness (09:07):
I love what you say there, because I guess the thing that
I notice about high achievers isthat we have an expectation
that we are the best at thethings that we do, right.
And so if you're listening tothis and you associate with that
, you want to smash your goals,you want to be the best version
of yourself, you want to achievethese things, and often we
would have the conversationaround hang on a minute.
It's our business and it's ourbook.
(09:28):
We choose these deadlines.
We can actually push it back.
You know.
There's nothing out thereexternally telling us that we
must do this, and in fact we didpush the launch back by a
couple of weeks just because wesaw what was involved in coming
up.
So what I hear in that is don'tbe a perfectionist and have
self-awareness enough to be put.
(09:49):
The call out that line in thesand moment.
That when you say, okay, I'vegot to pause now, because if I
keep going in this direction, ifyou kept pushing and pushing,
then you would have turned into,you know, like potentially more
serious complications.
Instead, you've stepped back.
At that point in time could sayit could have happened earlier.
(10:10):
But at that point in time andsaid I need to do something
differently.
And I'm going to go back towhat I know, to what our
research and our clients, whatwe've seen happen in relation to
how to get out of that kind ofhustle, hard mentality and
reprioritize so that you areputting yourself back in first
(10:31):
place, because the you know,when we look back on that, nikki
, you had a been.
If it had been more complicatedand more serious than that, the
flow on impact to our business,to your family, to your friends
, would have been much biggerthan you know having a book out
in the world.
Nicky (10:45):
And even to achieving the goals.
You know, if it got worse thenit would have impacted me being
able to do the TEDx talk at all,Absolutely, or, you know, and I
think it's really it's quitekind of cool reflecting, because
I had familiar feelings of thatburnout wall and I remember
saying to you and mypsychologist at the time it's
like I pumped the brakes on andI just rolled and I like tapped
(11:06):
the little burnout wall but Ididn't smash into it and I was
like I'm really proud of that,Like I could see it, and I
rolled.
And my psychologist was likeI'm really proud of that, Like I
could see it and I rolled, andmy psychologist was like well,
that's too late.
Ness (11:16):
You know like you just did that and I'm like hang on, I
was really proud of myself thatI spotted it but she's
Nicky (11:20):
like well, no, because you tapped it.
Like what do you need to do?
You know it was just, it was areally good wake up call.
But again, it's that wholething Know how to repeat
patterns.
You know you've got differentones, Ness, you've got different
ones, everyone that's listened.
And be kind to yourself.
When you kind of F it up alittle bit because that will
happen as well, because that wasa big piece of that I'm like
what, how could I?
(11:40):
You know, I was sick of myself.
I've read a book on this.
It's like hang on, but I'mhuman, it's okay, and it's kind
of awkward even sharing thisstory.
But I think it's importantbecause hopefully somebody out
there needs to hear this.
It's okay, be kind to ourselves.
Let's just regroup and thenstart again.
Ness (11:58):
Have you heard?
Our book Healthy Hustle the newblueprint to thrive in business
and life is available right nowto purchase.
In Healthy Hustle, we take youthrough real world, practical
and achievable steps to move youaway from unhealthy hustle to a
place of happiness and living,whilst continuing to achieve
incredible business results.
(12:19):
Order your copy now athealthyhustlecomau.
Okay, so that's lesson numberone.
Nicky (12:26):
Lesson number one.
Lesson number two.
Lesson number two this is oneof my favorites to talk about
because, as I said, you know Idid a TED.
I had a dream of doing a TEDtalk for many years and even
when I put the application in Iwas like butt clench moment
massively.
Ness (12:40):
And then when?
Nicky (12:40):
I had to do the interview , I was like, oh God, I'm going
to vomit in my mouth, and thenall of the different things.
But what I realized, and whatwas really great in shaping my
mindset to really prime mymindset, was that I'll be ready.
Don't focus on the future toomuch, because my future self
will be ready for that.
If I'd have started panickingthree months ago or thinking
about, oh my gosh, I've got toget up on stage and look, there
(13:03):
were moments of that but I couldbring it back and go hang on.
My self right now is not ready,but my future self in three
months will be ready becausethere's all that work, all that
mindset, all that practice, allthat prep, and we can apply this
to anything in life.
So often we, our clients, worryabout a problem in the future
that hasn't even happened yet ormay not even happen A time, an
(13:27):
event.
I mean I was talking to someonethe other day who was having
nightmares about things goingwrong at her wedding and I asked
her when her wedding is, andit's in 12 months.
I was like, oh, okay, okay,you're going to drown yourself
in this fear and worry becauseyour person in 12 months is
going to be ready for whateverthat thing is, and I really,
(13:47):
really really saw this come tolife with this TEDx talk.
So when I was able to say, okay, your future self will be ready
, and I tell you what I wasready, I was ready and I did it.
So I think that's a reallyimportant lesson.
Where are we projecting To thepast, to the future?
How can we come back to thepresent?
Ness (14:04):
Oh, God, I resonate with that so much because I often,
you know, use the languagearound.
You're trying to solve aproblem you don't already have.
Nicky (14:14):
Yes, so true.
Ness (14:15):
You think you've got to go through.
You know you're at step 10,that's the problem you're trying
to solve but you haven't gonethrough steps four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine in order toget there.
And for me, you know, mybiggest lesson around that
personally, was going back quitea few years ago.
My brother had his 50thbirthday and he does a lot of
long distance walking, likewe're talking PCT trial in
(14:38):
America for six months.
So him and his partner arecrazy about walking.
And for his birthday he took usup to Mount Hotham in Victoria
because they often walk fromWalhalla to Canberra and that's
a massive distance over a longperiod of time.
And he took us up to the top ofthis mountain and he pointed in
one direction and he said asfar as the eye could see in that
(14:58):
direction, plus four or fivedays is Wahala.
And then he pointed in theother direction and he said as
far as your eye can see, plusanother four or five weeks, is
Canberra.
And I remember at the timehaving a hyperventilation moment
going oh my God, oh my God thatwould be.
You know how could I do that?
And I'd be thinking.
I was thinking about how heavythe backpack would be, how many
(15:22):
blisters would be in my feet,how cold the nights would be.
Like I'm spiraling out ofcontrol in my mind around how
horrifying that sounded to me,without stopping to realize,
well, I'm never going to do thewalk, and even if I was crazy
enough like them to do it, theamount of preparation they put
into doing that, the you know,the materials they had, the
(15:43):
lightness of their packs, theshoes that they'd chosen, the
walks that they did leading upto it.
I was trying to solve a problemI definitely didn't have or was
ever going to have.
And because they were able todo that, because they did what
they needed to do to get thereand I know if that was my
mindset on a walk with them,they would have ditched me at
day two.
(16:04):
But we do this in business andwe do it in life, and I just
think it's such a great lessonto reflect on to just pause and
go.
Hang on.
Hang on.
Do I actually have that problemright now?
Yeah, because that's where weget stuck.
Nicky (16:19):
Completely and your future self will be ready.
Yeah, and you know what?
Even your future self thisafternoon, even if there's a
meeting that you've got andyou're nervous about, you're a
different version of you in anhour to what you are right now.
You're listening to thispodcast, so you'll be definitely
a different version.
But every conversation we have,every experience we have, every
moment we have creates moredepth and strength and breadth
(16:42):
and experience in who we are tobe able to deal with those
future problems.
So there's really two messageshere.
One is that one is that ourfuture self is a different
version of us.
We'll be able to handle theproblems in that moment, and two
is linked to that.
So don't worry about theproblems that aren't even here
yet, because they may never come.
Ness (17:00):
Yeah, just focus on the next step.
Nicky (17:02):
Exactly, and if they do come you'll be ready.
Yeah, yeah.
Ness (17:05):
Yeah, and just focus on the next step.
Yep, beautiful.
That's my lesson number two.
All right, let's go to lessonnumber three.
Lesson number three Trustyourself.
Nicky (17:14):
Oh, my goodness, our mindset, our brain, can tell us
some stories, or what?
My goodness, I was again.
My future self was ready.
I was prepped.
I'd put in the hours, I'd putin the work.
I found the delicate balance ofnot over-rehearsing but
rehearsing.
You know all of that.
Half an hour out, I'm backstage, I'm getting ready to get mic'd
(17:35):
up.
Man, I got in my head.
I don't even know.
I think I don't know why ithappened, but I spiraled and
then I panicked and I thought Idon't remember my script.
I know, and nobody.
Most people were out, thesession had started, I was on
last of the day, which isamazing, and also a great
stretch of matters and things,but I handled it all so well.
(17:56):
I had a great day.
And then, in this moment, halfan hour out, the spiral, the
panic around, I forgot my script.
So I tried to sort of say it inmy mind and my mind went blank.
The thing that everyone has toldme in this lead up and what I
had to tell myself in thatmoment and I had fellow speakers
shout out to Nick and Zara, ifthey ever listened to this, who
really helped me with this istrust yourself, all that work
(18:18):
that you did.
It's kind of linked to that.
Your future self is ready, butin that moment you still have to
let go and trust yourself again, for whatever that is, whether
that's that meeting that you'rea bit nervous about, that big
walk that's ridiculously longand over the mountains, whether
it's that sales conversation,whatever it is that you have,
you can do all the prep.
You still need to let go andtrust yourself, even though it
(18:40):
feels like you're free falling.
And that was the moment that Ihad.
So when I just went, whateverI'll go out If I, if I stuff it
up and I forget everything,whatever which I didn't, I
remembered every line, you know.
So trust yourself, even whenyour brain is telling you all
the reasons to panic or or tonot.
We need to let go and connectto that trust and beautiful
(19:04):
things will happen.
Ness (19:04):
That's my third lesson.
That's amazing.
I love that.
One gave me chills because Ithink that there are so many
times that, particularly inbusiness, in leadership, that
that self-doubt comes up I heara lot of people talk about.
You know, one of our commonasked questions is imposter
syndrome.
How do you overcome impostersyndrome?
You know, how do you have thesewhen you're sitting in a
(19:26):
meeting and you're, you know,trying to have your voice shared
but you feel so nervous aboutit because you're worried what's
going to come out of your mouth.
You've just that message aroundtrust yourself, because every
single person that has had thatconversation with me in a
coaching session or just inpassing in a general
conversation, you can bet theyknow their stuff.
(19:48):
They haven't earned a place atthe table in those meetings to
not have something important tosay, and so I think that you
know that message around trustyourself, even when you're going
through.
You know challenging times in abusiness, for example, if you
have to have a really difficultconversation with someone.
If you're a good human beingand you have to have a really
(20:10):
difficult conversation withsomeone, if you're a good human
being and you have the bestoutcome in mind for that person,
for you, for the good ofeverything you know, coming to a
resolution, you've got to trustthat you're going to be able to
do that and you know the choicethat you have in that moment is
to be courageous and just do itanyway.
And then afterwards you realizeactually I had that, I was okay
, or it freezes us and it stopsus from doing the thing.
(20:34):
It'll stop us from having theconversation, which makes it a
bigger burn and a harder thingto do.
Down the track right, how manypeople, myself included, have
tried to avoid a problem, buryhead in the sand a bit and hope
it goes away?
And if it's a people problem, Ibet you it bites you on the bum
if you don't do anything aboutit.
In business, the things that youdon't want to do In sales,
(20:56):
picking up that phone for the15th time of the day to make
that call and feeling the.
What am I going to do if theperson-.
Nicky (21:05):
Answers If they answer.
If they answer actually?
Ness (21:09):
well, my fear was, why did they yell at me like I mean,
it's never going to be that rude?
Nicky (21:13):
yeah, I know, I mean, even if they are, this is that
whole, it's that resiliencepiece, but but there is, I often
say in sales training you knowwhat if they pick up, what if
they say yes, like sometimesthat's the thing that we can be
fearful of without evenrealising it.
And they're classic examples oftrust ourselves.
It's our brain that is gettingin our way.
It is feeling that we aregetting out of our comfort zone,
(21:35):
so it's trying to keep us safe.
All the reasons why youshouldn't do that thing or you
know.
But yeah, great examples.
Ness (21:42):
Yeah well.
So let's recap the top three.
Number one was Embrace.
Nicky (21:47):
the healthy hustle is ongoing.
We don't arrive.
Ness (21:51):
It's not a checklist, tick and flick, we're not perfect
Cleaning your teeth once andthinking I'm done, exactly, it's
a journey.
Nicky (21:59):
Fantastic Number two.
Your future self will be ready.
Love it.
Ness (22:04):
And number three Trust yourself.
Yeah, that's so awesome.
So if we were well, it's aninteresting one because we're
talking about your lessons froma TEDx talk, so there could be a
small percentage of listenerswho are keen to do a TEDx talk
and could take some sort ofaction in the next 24 hours.
But for the rest of us, whodon't have that on our wish list
(22:24):
from your lessons, what do youthink could be an actionable
action that someone can take inthe next 24 hours?
Great question, Ness.
Nicky (22:31):
And I actually didn't think of this until this moment.
I also think it doesn't matterif you want to do a TEDx talk or
not.
These lessons are transferableinto everyday life, and so I'm
going to start with the firstone.
With this healthy hustle beingan ongoing, I want you to rate
yourself.
Just actually pause for amoment and rate yourself out of
10.
10 out of 10, the healthy.
(22:51):
Let's look at that.
So, if you rate yourself 10 outof 10 for healthy, that means
that you have been having micromoments, you're sleeping well,
you feel optimal energy, you'rehaving breaks in the day, so
it's healthy, as inincorporating it into your
working day.
And then rate yourself 10 outof 10 or out of 10 for hustle.
Now, if you were we want thehustle to be.
(23:12):
Optimal is probably I don'tknow between five and seven,
eight, but maybe your hustle is15.
I don't know if this even makessense, ness, but like, is the
hustle over 10?
If it's beyond 10, that's aproblem.
Ness (23:25):
Does that make sense?
Did I just make that?
Nicky (23:27):
actually really complicated.
Ness (23:29):
No, I hear that we parked the healthy part and then we're
looking at another scale.
So if we're like we're feelingfor the hustle.
If we feel like we are hustlingday in, day out.
We are time poor, stuck in thebusy trap.
We're juggling, everythingfeels chaotic.
We're probably going to begoing.
I am past a 10.
Exactly.
Nicky (23:50):
So you kind of want to check in if you've got between
like with, because the thing is,if your hustle is two out of 10
, are you on holidays?
Ness (23:56):
Like that's all good if you are but we want a bit of
hustle.
Nicky (23:59):
So we want the hustle to be probably between five, seven,
max eight.
If your hustle is eight to 12or over the 10, you know, eight
to 10 or over, then I want youto pause and go.
I need to bring a bit morehealthy in.
So I gave you a complicated waybut I feel like in my mind it
works.
I think they marry they marrytogether you want to look at
them both.
You've got to make sure you'reat least 10 out of 10, you know
(24:21):
working towards 10 out of 10 forhealthy and you don't want to
be over eight out of 10 forhustle.
Ness (24:26):
I'll stop talking now.
Nicky (24:27):
Otherwise I might confuse things even more.
Just reach out if you've got aquestion, if you want me to try,
and I don't know.
Ness (24:33):
Absolutely, and I encourage every single one of
you listening and watching today.
Please, please, please, goclick that link.
Listen to Nikki and her TEDxtalk.
You won't be disappointed.
It's quite amazing.
So thanks for tuning in today.
We'll see you next week.
Thanks everyone.
Thanks for listening to today'sep.
(24:54):
If you loved what you heard,connect with us over on LinkedIn
and let's continue theconversation over there.
Did you hear you can now buyour book Healthy Hustle the New
Blueprint to Thrive in Businessand Life at healthyhustlecomau.
Want us to speak to your teamor run a workshop on healthy
hustle in your workplace?
(25:14):
Send us an email or go oldschool and give us a call to
discuss.
Until next time, happylistening and here's to thriving
in business and life.
Welcome to the Smart Business Growth Podcast with
Nicky and.
Ness.
Ness (00:11):
We would like to acknowledge the traditional
custodians of country, theTurrbal and Bunurong people of
Brisbane and Melbournerespectively, where Nicky and I
both work and live, both workand live.
(00:33):
As we hit record on today'spodcast episode, we are coming
off the back of an amazing weekin our business.
Sunday was Nikki doing her TEDxtalk at QUT, which I flew up to
Brisbane for, and then twonights later, we were
celebrating the launch of ourbook Healthy Hustle.
So by the time this drops intoyour ears, hopefully the TEDx
talk that Nikki did will beavailable on the TEDx world and
(00:58):
we will drop a link into today'sshow notes so that you can have
a look at that.
And if it's not, please justsend us a DM and or an email and
we'll make sure you get thelink as soon as that comes
available and I highly, highly,highly recommend that you watch
it.
It's how many minutes is it,Nikki?
Is it 16 minutes About?
Nicky (01:18):
16.
Yeah, but I mean it's amazinghow many people have said that
they just can't believe it wasactually that long.
Yeah, that's right, because itdoesn't feel it.
Ness (01:26):
Goes in a blink of an eye, very, very powerful message.
And I was equally proud andinspired and just in awe of you
on the stage and how well youdid.
And it kind of got me thinkingthat, because I've been in the
behind the scenes angle of it aswell, watching just how much
(01:47):
preparation, how many hours uponhours go into refining the
script, into memorizing thescript it's just like phenomenal
the amount of work that you andevery other presenter on a TEDx
stage do to get there that Ijust felt like there could be
some gold in this.
And I reflect back to going to aTEDx talk in Cecil Street in
(02:09):
Melbourne back in March andcoming away from that texting
you saying oh my God, nikki, youneed to be on stage sharing
this message of healthy hustle,because it is a dream of yours,
a passion of yours, to do thepublic speaking, probably more
so than mine as well.
I mean, I do love speakingreally, but I know that that's
(02:29):
something that you're wanting toget into more of.
So to have the stage, to havethe presence, it's just amazing.
So in saying all of that, Ithink today let's unpack maybe
your top three lessons thatyou've learned, in whatever way
you want to describe them fromdoing the TEDx talk and I'll
(02:50):
throw it open to you to do somereflection as we go through that
.
Nicky (02:55):
I love this.
Thank you, ness.
And it is a dream come true.
And some people will have heardme say that 10 years ago I
bought a book called how to Do aTED Talk and I was like, oh,
I'm going to put it on out thereas a goal.
And then I was like, nah,that's too scary, I'll just put
that to the side.
And here we are.
It has absolutely been ajourney and you have seen the
behind the scenes.
You've been the champion, thepicker-upper-offer, the floor
(03:18):
person when I've had mymeltdowns, the you know, joining
me in the celebrations.
There is so much that goes onbehind the scenes to get ready
for an event like this, becauseyou kind of can get up and wing
it but you kind of can't.
You've got a script.
It's approved by TED.
There's speaker coaches you'reworking with and shout out to
Montana, who's the co-directorfor TEDxQT.
(03:39):
She has tough conversationswith you, encouraging you to dig
deeper, share more of yourpersonal story.
Everyone has their own sort ofexperience through this, but it
is really.
It's a personal developmentprogram.
It's a professional program,professional development, and
you've got to try and stick toyour script as much as possible.
So, memorizing 16 minutes yeah,I'm pretty proud and I
(04:02):
remembered everything.
So I'm pretty proud and Iremembered everything.
So I'm really proud To thepoint that it's okay.
A lot of people ask for lineslive and that's okay as well.
So I do want to do a shout outto all the fellow speakers and
definitely check them out aswell.
And it is such great timingbecause, as you said, we had the
book launch and just thatself-reflection.
So really, for the last ninemonths it's been nine months
(04:23):
since we first put pen orfingers to typing pads,
keyboards, to start the book,since the application for the
first TEDx round came around youknow that was, I think, feb
March.
Not long after you messaged meI was like, wow, this is meant
to be, and so it's.
My sister studied and was anaccredited midwife.
It's like birthing a baby I meannot literally, but it's a nine
(04:46):
month.
You know we've birthed thesethings to the world and the
synchronicity between the two ofthem coming together and this
message of healthy hustle.
The TEDx talk is called the Artof Healthy Hustle and, of
course, you know the book iscalled Healthy Hustle.
So in reflecting on this, Iwill also say it is incredible
how many people have reached outto both of us from the book
(05:08):
launch, from the TEDx, to saywow, I feel like you were
talking directly to me when wehad our interview from the TEDx.
It's just amazing.
So the first thing I want tosay to everyone is we're not
alone.
You are not alone in this Ifyou resonate with anything we've
ever talked about.
The reason we were able to do abook and a TEDx talk is because
there's so many people outthere feeling the pain of this,
(05:30):
of going hang on.
I want to be successful andachieve great things, but I also
don't want it to break me.
So that's that healthy, healthyhustle piece.
Ness (05:39):
I feel like adding to that .
We see you, we've been you andthat's what I love about our
experiences that led us intowriting the book.
For you it was about hittingthe burnout wall.
You know, for me I didn't havethat experience, but I was
definitely experiencing theentrepreneurial addiction which
(06:00):
we have another podcast on.
We'll put the link to that.
So there were different ways ofarriving at that end point,
which was unhealthy hustle.
And then, obviously, what wetalk about, what we're
passionate about, what we helppeople with, is finding a better
way.
We've got to still hustle, butwe really want to find a way to
be able to do that in a waythat's really healthy.
(06:21):
And I know, ironically, therewere times throughout the last
nine months where we would haveconversations around,
particularly for you, becauseyou were juggling the both of
those at the same time andthere's a lot of hours that you
put in above and beyond, butparticularly around noticing
writing a book on healthy hustleand feeling like I'm very
(06:44):
unhealthy in my hustle at themoment.
So no one gets this stuffperfect.
Nicky (06:49):
No, no, it's absolutely not.
It's that evolution.
That is my first big learn.
First big takeaway insight isthat the healthy hustle, this
evolution, this journey whateverwe call it to healthy hustle
continues.
It's not like you write a bookon it and you get it.
And I shared, at the booklaunch, a story where I was
right at the peak of we'dwritten the book but we were in
(07:12):
the middle of getting itpublished.
There's so many moving parts ofthat because we self-published.
I was at, I think, the third outof the fourth draft of the TEDx
script, so you're gettingdetailed feedback.
You're getting encouraged tostretch and pull and dig deeper.
These things were happening.
We just started working withthe speaker coaches.
Also, we've got everyday BAUbusiness going on and I find
(07:33):
myself in hospital gettingchecked out because I had chest
pains and Jules was looking atme lying on the hospital, mapped
up to the ECG, whatever themonitors and things, and she's
like Nikki, you know you justwrote a book on healthy hustle.
I was like, yeah, okay, that'strue.
So everything was fine.
It was just, you know, a lothappening and the hustle wasn't
(07:55):
so healthy.
But the beautiful thing in thatis that I realized, okay, what
do I need to do?
What are the principles, thestrategies, the tools that I
need to step back and reconnectwith?
And genuinely, I looked at thebook.
Even when we were writing thebook and writing about
entrepreneurial addiction, I'mlike there are times where I
have felt all those six signsand right now I'm feeling some
of them.
So let's just keep this in theflow instead of going into
(08:17):
destructive chaos.
But that's the first lesson andthe first learn.
There will be moments where itis so easy for the hustle to
become unhealthy, also crazy.
I've had people come up to meand say it's chest pain things.
There's a common science.
So again, this is a reminderthat you're not alone.
We have to take care of ourhealth number one.
And it's easy to get wrapped upinto it when we love what we do
(08:40):
and there's lots of really coolthings going on or we're caught
in that busy trap, pop thepause button.
What do you need to reconnectwith?
And I'm really proud to saythat in that moment, which was
probably a few months ago now, Iwas like great, I'll get back
to those principles.
And I talked to you and I waslike what can I do with Jules?
And it was easier to implementthat stuff Definitely as it
would have been than it wouldhave been 10 years ago.
Ness (09:07):
I love what you say there, because I guess the thing that
I notice about high achievers isthat we have an expectation
that we are the best at thethings that we do, right.
And so if you're listening tothis and you associate with that
, you want to smash your goals,you want to be the best version
of yourself, you want to achievethese things, and often we
would have the conversationaround hang on a minute.
It's our business and it's ourbook.
(09:28):
We choose these deadlines.
We can actually push it back.
You know.
There's nothing out thereexternally telling us that we
must do this, and in fact we didpush the launch back by a
couple of weeks just because wesaw what was involved in coming
up.
So what I hear in that is don'tbe a perfectionist and have
self-awareness enough to be put.
(09:49):
The call out that line in thesand moment.
That when you say, okay, I'vegot to pause now, because if I
keep going in this direction, ifyou kept pushing and pushing,
then you would have turned into,you know, like potentially more
serious complications.
Instead, you've stepped back.
At that point in time could sayit could have happened earlier.
(10:10):
But at that point in time andsaid I need to do something
differently.
And I'm going to go back towhat I know, to what our
research and our clients, whatwe've seen happen in relation to
how to get out of that kind ofhustle, hard mentality and
reprioritize so that you areputting yourself back in first
(10:31):
place, because the you know,when we look back on that, nikki
, you had a been.
If it had been more complicatedand more serious than that, the
flow on impact to our business,to your family, to your friends
, would have been much biggerthan you know having a book out
in the world.
Nicky (10:45):
And even to achieving the goals.
You know, if it got worse thenit would have impacted me being
able to do the TEDx talk at all,Absolutely, or, you know, and I
think it's really it's quitekind of cool reflecting, because
I had familiar feelings of thatburnout wall and I remember
saying to you and mypsychologist at the time it's
like I pumped the brakes on andI just rolled and I like tapped
(11:06):
the little burnout wall but Ididn't smash into it and I was
like I'm really proud of that,Like I could see it, and I
rolled.
And my psychologist was likeI'm really proud of that, Like I
could see it and I rolled, andmy psychologist was like well,
that's too late.
Ness (11:16):
You know like you just did that and I'm like hang on, I
was really proud of myself thatI spotted it but she's
Nicky (11:20):
like well, no, because you tapped it.
Like what do you need to do?
You know it was just, it was areally good wake up call.
But again, it's that wholething Know how to repeat
patterns.
You know you've got differentones, Ness, you've got different
ones, everyone that's listened.
And be kind to yourself.
When you kind of F it up alittle bit because that will
happen as well, because that wasa big piece of that I'm like
what, how could I?
(11:40):
You know, I was sick of myself.
I've read a book on this.
It's like hang on, but I'mhuman, it's okay, and it's kind
of awkward even sharing thisstory.
But I think it's importantbecause hopefully somebody out
there needs to hear this.
It's okay, be kind to ourselves.
Let's just regroup and thenstart again.
Ness (11:58):
Have you heard?
Our book Healthy Hustle the newblueprint to thrive in business
and life is available right nowto purchase.
In Healthy Hustle, we take youthrough real world, practical
and achievable steps to move youaway from unhealthy hustle to a
place of happiness and living,whilst continuing to achieve
incredible business results.
(12:19):
Order your copy now athealthyhustlecomau.
Okay, so that's lesson numberone.
Nicky (12:26):
Lesson number one.
Lesson number two.
Lesson number two this is oneof my favorites to talk about
because, as I said, you know Idid a TED.
I had a dream of doing a TEDtalk for many years and even
when I put the application in Iwas like butt clench moment
massively.
Ness (12:40):
And then when?
Nicky (12:40):
I had to do the interview , I was like, oh God, I'm going
to vomit in my mouth, and thenall of the different things.
But what I realized, and whatwas really great in shaping my
mindset to really prime mymindset, was that I'll be ready.
Don't focus on the future toomuch, because my future self
will be ready for that.
If I'd have started panickingthree months ago or thinking
about, oh my gosh, I've got toget up on stage and look, there
(13:03):
were moments of that but I couldbring it back and go hang on.
My self right now is not ready,but my future self in three
months will be ready becausethere's all that work, all that
mindset, all that practice, allthat prep, and we can apply this
to anything in life.
So often we, our clients, worryabout a problem in the future
that hasn't even happened yet ormay not even happen A time, an
(13:27):
event.
I mean I was talking to someonethe other day who was having
nightmares about things goingwrong at her wedding and I asked
her when her wedding is, andit's in 12 months.
I was like, oh, okay, okay,you're going to drown yourself
in this fear and worry becauseyour person in 12 months is
going to be ready for whateverthat thing is, and I really,
(13:47):
really really saw this come tolife with this TEDx talk.
So when I was able to say, okay, your future self will be ready
, and I tell you what I wasready, I was ready and I did it.
So I think that's a reallyimportant lesson.
Where are we projecting To thepast, to the future?
How can we come back to thepresent?
Ness (14:04):
Oh, God, I resonate with that so much because I often,
you know, use the languagearound.
You're trying to solve aproblem you don't already have.
Nicky (14:14):
Yes, so true.
Ness (14:15):
You think you've got to go through.
You know you're at step 10,that's the problem you're trying
to solve but you haven't gonethrough steps four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine in order toget there.
And for me, you know, mybiggest lesson around that
personally, was going back quitea few years ago.
My brother had his 50thbirthday and he does a lot of
long distance walking, likewe're talking PCT trial in
(14:38):
America for six months.
So him and his partner arecrazy about walking.
And for his birthday he took usup to Mount Hotham in Victoria
because they often walk fromWalhalla to Canberra and that's
a massive distance over a longperiod of time.
And he took us up to the top ofthis mountain and he pointed in
one direction and he said asfar as the eye could see in that
(14:58):
direction, plus four or fivedays is Wahala.
And then he pointed in theother direction and he said as
far as your eye can see, plusanother four or five weeks, is
Canberra.
And I remember at the timehaving a hyperventilation moment
going oh my God, oh my God thatwould be.
You know how could I do that?
And I'd be thinking.
I was thinking about how heavythe backpack would be, how many
(15:22):
blisters would be in my feet,how cold the nights would be.
Like I'm spiraling out ofcontrol in my mind around how
horrifying that sounded to me,without stopping to realize,
well, I'm never going to do thewalk, and even if I was crazy
enough like them to do it, theamount of preparation they put
into doing that, the you know,the materials they had, the
(15:43):
lightness of their packs, theshoes that they'd chosen, the
walks that they did leading upto it.
I was trying to solve a problemI definitely didn't have or was
ever going to have.
And because they were able todo that, because they did what
they needed to do to get thereand I know if that was my
mindset on a walk with them,they would have ditched me at
day two.
(16:04):
But we do this in business andwe do it in life, and I just
think it's such a great lessonto reflect on to just pause and
go.
Hang on.
Hang on.
Do I actually have that problemright now?
Yeah, because that's where weget stuck.
Nicky (16:19):
Completely and your future self will be ready.
Yeah, and you know what?
Even your future self thisafternoon, even if there's a
meeting that you've got andyou're nervous about, you're a
different version of you in anhour to what you are right now.
You're listening to thispodcast, so you'll be definitely
a different version.
But every conversation we have,every experience we have, every
moment we have creates moredepth and strength and breadth
(16:42):
and experience in who we are tobe able to deal with those
future problems.
So there's really two messageshere.
One is that one is that ourfuture self is a different
version of us.
We'll be able to handle theproblems in that moment, and two
is linked to that.
So don't worry about theproblems that aren't even here
yet, because they may never come.
Ness (17:00):
Yeah, just focus on the next step.
Nicky (17:02):
Exactly, and if they do come you'll be ready.
Yeah, yeah.
Ness (17:05):
Yeah, and just focus on the next step.
Yep, beautiful.
That's my lesson number two.
All right, let's go to lessonnumber three.
Lesson number three Trustyourself.
Nicky (17:14):
Oh, my goodness, our mindset, our brain, can tell us
some stories, or what?
My goodness, I was again.
My future self was ready.
I was prepped.
I'd put in the hours, I'd putin the work.
I found the delicate balance ofnot over-rehearsing but
rehearsing.
You know all of that.
Half an hour out, I'm backstage, I'm getting ready to get mic'd
(17:35):
up.
Man, I got in my head.
I don't even know.
I think I don't know why ithappened, but I spiraled and
then I panicked and I thought Idon't remember my script.
I know, and nobody.
Most people were out, thesession had started, I was on
last of the day, which isamazing, and also a great
stretch of matters and things,but I handled it all so well.
(17:56):
I had a great day.
And then, in this moment, halfan hour out, the spiral, the
panic around, I forgot my script.
So I tried to sort of say it inmy mind and my mind went blank.
The thing that everyone has toldme in this lead up and what I
had to tell myself in thatmoment and I had fellow speakers
shout out to Nick and Zara, ifthey ever listened to this, who
really helped me with this istrust yourself, all that work
(18:18):
that you did.
It's kind of linked to that.
Your future self is ready, butin that moment you still have to
let go and trust yourself again, for whatever that is, whether
that's that meeting that you'rea bit nervous about, that big
walk that's ridiculously longand over the mountains, whether
it's that sales conversation,whatever it is that you have,
you can do all the prep.
You still need to let go andtrust yourself, even though it
(18:40):
feels like you're free falling.
And that was the moment that Ihad.
So when I just went, whateverI'll go out If I, if I stuff it
up and I forget everything,whatever which I didn't, I
remembered every line, you know.
So trust yourself, even whenyour brain is telling you all
the reasons to panic or or tonot.
We need to let go and connectto that trust and beautiful
(19:04):
things will happen.
Ness (19:04):
That's my third lesson.
That's amazing.
I love that.
One gave me chills because Ithink that there are so many
times that, particularly inbusiness, in leadership, that
that self-doubt comes up I heara lot of people talk about.
You know, one of our commonasked questions is imposter
syndrome.
How do you overcome impostersyndrome?
You know, how do you have thesewhen you're sitting in a
(19:26):
meeting and you're, you know,trying to have your voice shared
but you feel so nervous aboutit because you're worried what's
going to come out of your mouth.
You've just that message aroundtrust yourself, because every
single person that has had thatconversation with me in a
coaching session or just inpassing in a general
conversation, you can bet theyknow their stuff.
(19:48):
They haven't earned a place atthe table in those meetings to
not have something important tosay, and so I think that you
know that message around trustyourself, even when you're going
through.
You know challenging times in abusiness, for example, if you
have to have a really difficultconversation with someone.
If you're a good human beingand you have to have a really
(20:10):
difficult conversation withsomeone, if you're a good human
being and you have the bestoutcome in mind for that person,
for you, for the good ofeverything you know, coming to a
resolution, you've got to trustthat you're going to be able to
do that and you know the choicethat you have in that moment is
to be courageous and just do itanyway.
And then afterwards you realizeactually I had that, I was okay
, or it freezes us and it stopsus from doing the thing.
(20:34):
It'll stop us from having theconversation, which makes it a
bigger burn and a harder thingto do.
Down the track right, how manypeople, myself included, have
tried to avoid a problem, buryhead in the sand a bit and hope
it goes away?
And if it's a people problem, Ibet you it bites you on the bum
if you don't do anything aboutit.
In business, the things that youdon't want to do In sales,
(20:56):
picking up that phone for the15th time of the day to make
that call and feeling the.
What am I going to do if theperson-.
Nicky (21:05):
Answers If they answer.
If they answer actually?
Ness (21:09):
well, my fear was, why did they yell at me like I mean,
it's never going to be that rude?
Nicky (21:13):
yeah, I know, I mean, even if they are, this is that
whole, it's that resiliencepiece, but but there is, I often
say in sales training you knowwhat if they pick up, what if
they say yes, like sometimesthat's the thing that we can be
fearful of without evenrealising it.
And they're classic examples oftrust ourselves.
It's our brain that is gettingin our way.
It is feeling that we aregetting out of our comfort zone,
(21:35):
so it's trying to keep us safe.
All the reasons why youshouldn't do that thing or you
know.
But yeah, great examples.
Ness (21:42):
Yeah well.
So let's recap the top three.
Number one was Embrace.
Nicky (21:47):
the healthy hustle is ongoing.
We don't arrive.
Ness (21:51):
It's not a checklist, tick and flick, we're not perfect
Cleaning your teeth once andthinking I'm done, exactly, it's
a journey.
Nicky (21:59):
Fantastic Number two.
Your future self will be ready.
Love it.
Ness (22:04):
And number three Trust yourself.
Yeah, that's so awesome.
So if we were well, it's aninteresting one because we're
talking about your lessons froma TEDx talk, so there could be a
small percentage of listenerswho are keen to do a TEDx talk
and could take some sort ofaction in the next 24 hours.
But for the rest of us, whodon't have that on our wish list
(22:24):
from your lessons, what do youthink could be an actionable
action that someone can take inthe next 24 hours?
Great question, Ness.
Nicky (22:31):
And I actually didn't think of this until this moment.
I also think it doesn't matterif you want to do a TEDx talk or
not.
These lessons are transferableinto everyday life, and so I'm
going to start with the firstone.
With this healthy hustle beingan ongoing, I want you to rate
yourself.
Just actually pause for amoment and rate yourself out of
10.
10 out of 10, the healthy.
(22:51):
Let's look at that.
So, if you rate yourself 10 outof 10 for healthy, that means
that you have been having micromoments, you're sleeping well,
you feel optimal energy, you'rehaving breaks in the day, so
it's healthy, as inincorporating it into your
working day.
And then rate yourself 10 outof 10 or out of 10 for hustle.
Now, if you were we want thehustle to be.
(23:12):
Optimal is probably I don'tknow between five and seven,
eight, but maybe your hustle is15.
I don't know if this even makessense, ness, but like, is the
hustle over 10?
If it's beyond 10, that's aproblem.
Ness (23:25):
Does that make sense?
Did I just make that?
Nicky (23:27):
actually really complicated.
Ness (23:29):
No, I hear that we parked the healthy part and then we're
looking at another scale.
So if we're like we're feelingfor the hustle.
If we feel like we are hustlingday in, day out.
We are time poor, stuck in thebusy trap.
We're juggling, everythingfeels chaotic.
We're probably going to begoing.
I am past a 10.
Exactly.
Nicky (23:50):
So you kind of want to check in if you've got between
like with, because the thing is,if your hustle is two out of 10
, are you on holidays?
Ness (23:56):
Like that's all good if you are but we want a bit of
hustle.
Nicky (23:59):
So we want the hustle to be probably between five, seven,
max eight.
If your hustle is eight to 12or over the 10, you know, eight
to 10 or over, then I want youto pause and go.
I need to bring a bit morehealthy in.
So I gave you a complicated waybut I feel like in my mind it
works.
I think they marry they marrytogether you want to look at
them both.
You've got to make sure you'reat least 10 out of 10, you know
(24:21):
working towards 10 out of 10 forhealthy and you don't want to
be over eight out of 10 forhustle.
Ness (24:26):
I'll stop talking now.
Nicky (24:27):
Otherwise I might confuse things even more.
Just reach out if you've got aquestion, if you want me to try,
and I don't know.
Ness (24:33):
Absolutely, and I encourage every single one of
you listening and watching today.
Please, please, please, goclick that link.
Listen to Nikki and her TEDxtalk.
You won't be disappointed.
It's quite amazing.
So thanks for tuning in today.
We'll see you next week.
Thanks everyone.
Thanks for listening to today'sep.
(24:54):
If you loved what you heard,connect with us over on LinkedIn
and let's continue theconversation over there.
Did you hear you can now buyour book Healthy Hustle the New
Blueprint to Thrive in Businessand Life at healthyhustlecomau.
Want us to speak to your teamor run a workshop on healthy
hustle in your workplace?
(25:14):
Send us an email or go oldschool and give us a call to
discuss.
Until next time, happylistening and here's to thriving
in business and life.
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