October 29, 2024 • 28 mins
In this episode, Nicky and Ness dive deep into how our beliefs influence every aspect of our lives and businesses. They discuss how beliefs around money, sales, and success can either propel us forward or hold us back. With real-life examples and practical insights, they explore the importance of challenging ingrained belief systems to unlock true potential.
Episode Highlights:
- The power of beliefs and their impact on business and personal success.
- How subconscious beliefs shape actions and decisions.
- Sales and money beliefs and their effect on business growth.
- Changing limiting beliefs to create new opportunities.
- Practical steps to shift belief systems for long-term success.
Learn more about Nicky and Ness https://businesstogether.com.au
Buy a copy of Healthy Hustle: The New Blueprint to Thrive in Business & Life www.healthyhustle.com.au
Follow us on socials
Instagram - @b2businesstogether
Facebook - @B2BusinessTogether
Connect on LinkedIn
Nicky LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/connectwithnicky/
Ness LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessamedling/
Give us a call
Nicky Miklos-Woodley 0403 191 404
Vanessa (Ness) Medling 0400 226 875
Or send us an email hello@businesstogether.com.au
Music by Jules Miklos-Woodley
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Nicky (00:04):
Welcome to the Smart Business Growth Podcast with
Nicky and.
Ness.
Ness (00:11):
We would like to acknowledge the traditional
custodians of country, theTurrbal and Bunurong people of
Brisbane and Melbournerespectively, where Nicky and I
both work and live both work andlive.
Nicky (00:32):
The beliefs that we have play such a huge part in either
helping us move forward in ourlife, in our business, in the
areas that matter to us, orholding us back, hindering our
success, keeping us stuck.
We talk a lot about beliefsthroughout our book.
It actually plays a big role indifferent areas of finding that
place of healthy hustle.
Because when we can work on ourbeliefs, when we can work on
(00:52):
the thoughts that we have, ourthoughts, our beliefs become
feelings, become emotions.
They impact the perception thatwe have of the world around us
and that, in turn, is whatimpacts the action that we take.
Beliefs that we have willimpact so many areas.
I've done so many workshopsover the past around sales
beliefs.
(01:13):
Actually, anytime I do workwith a new client, we have to
start with, we must start withuncovering the beliefs that the
business owner, leaders, teamshave around sales.
What does sales mean to us?
Ness, you've done a lot of workand continue to do a lot of
work around money beliefs.
Ness (01:31):
Absolutely.
We just got so much to jump inand say Money beliefs,
definitely, especially aroundbusiness and in life, the
differences between people cancome down to this belief system.
You know, some people believethat there's not enough money,
some people believe that thereis enough money.
Some people believe, like yousaid, with sales, sales is evil,
(01:54):
necessary evil kind of thing,sales is hard, all of that kind
of stuff.
It's just, I think peopleunderestimate how many beliefs
we hold about such a range ofdifferent things that impact the
behaviors.
No, actually start withthoughts, behaviors and actions
that we take all based on thisthing.
(02:14):
That happens in a split second,subconsciously, where we have
no thought process necessarilyaround questioning it.
Nicky (02:23):
Totally, because it's happening automatically, isn't
it?
That subconscious belief systemis kicking off and we don't
even know about it?
And sometimes we can look atwhy do I keep doing this repeat
pattern you hear often withrelationships?
Why do I keep attracting thistype of person?
Why do I keep doing this tomyself?
Well, chances are we need tolook under the hood and really
explore what beliefs are drivingcertain behaviors.
(02:43):
So we've talked about itimpacts sales beliefs.
It impacts money beliefs thatwe have as we go into the world
and earn more money, like thebeliefs that were embedded in us
from when we were children,from when we were younger.
Even our beliefs around whatsuccess looks like.
You know, what does hustle looklike?
What does success look like?
Our definition of hard work?
(03:04):
What does hustle look like?
What does success look like?
Our definition of hard work,our belief around what kind of
leader we can be and what makesa great leader.
We've had incredibleconversations with leaders.
There's one person inparticular that comes to mind
who we interviewed for our book,james H, and when I first met
him years ago, his belief wasthat vulnerability is a weakness
(03:27):
as a leader.
Do not be vulnerable, it is aweakness.
Now, after working together, herealized actually that's not
true.
In fact, vulnerability can be astrength.
Being human and being real andauthentic can be a strength.
And I love it, because he justrecently completed the Dare to
Lead, brene Brown LeadershipWorkshop and I was reflecting,
(03:49):
thinking how cool is that?
That's, I think seven yearslater or, I don't know, a number
of years later, and here he isloving and embracing.
If we think about a leaderembracing vulnerability and
sharing that story, it's got tobe Brene Brown right yeah of
course, but that beliefinitially was holding him back
being a great leader and when hecould face that.
it was uncomfortable at firstbut he was able to move through
(04:11):
that.
So experiences we've had withother leaders, experiences as a
business owner, things we'veseen things, we've observed
things, we've been a part ofthings we've been told.
You know, our beliefs have beencreated since day dot, since,
some would argue, even before wecame into this world, but
that's a whole other type ofpodcast.
But these beliefs we've createdparticularly in our
(04:34):
transformative years, in zero toseven, and then they continue
to be built upon and embedded inthe world that we live in, from
our parents, our caretakers,the people around us, school and
we progress, high school, unior not, uni, 20s, et cetera, et
cetera.
So, realistically, our beliefsare created from our experiences
(04:55):
, from events that have happenedthat we've been a part of.
That also creates our valuesand we're constantly seeking out
evidence for our beliefs to betrue Because, you know, really
all of this comes down toperspective.
I was talking to Jules.
I was very profound thismorning on my walk with Jules,
saying really everything is justperspective and it's kind of
(05:16):
all BS, but it's all our reality, like at the end of the day.
So, ness, can you take usthrough when I say we're
constantly searching, not evenrealizing, subconsciously
searching for evidence for ourbeliefs to be true, whether they
serve us or not, whether theyhelp or hinder us.
What do we mean by that?
Ness (05:35):
It's a really great question because I think the
answer itself helps tounderstand why some people are
so steadfast in their beliefsand will not change at all, and
why others can change.
So there is this part of ourbrain called the Recticular
Activating System we like tocall it the RAS for short and
what that does is it goes out.
(05:57):
That's the information seeker,that's the truth finder, truth
to back up our belief system.
Not necessarily the truth ofblack and white truth, right,
it's just whatever we make up.
We make up a story in our headabout what something means, we
make that a belief and we lookfor evidence to back it up.
Because at any point you know,you think about, as we're
sitting here recording thispodcast, and wherever you are
(06:19):
listening or watching it, therewill be millions I think it's 11
million bits of informationthat come at us at any given
time.
So I'm sitting in an officewhere there's trees outside and
there's sunshine and there's abit of wind going on, and then
the dog somewhere and you know,and we're having a conversation.
So there's so many differentthings that if we, if our brains
, took it all in, they'dprobably explode.
(06:41):
I don't know whether that'sscientifically correct, but so
you know, we just can't.
So we chunk it down to find thethe maybe about.
What is it?
Seven bits give or take, two,seven chunks of information, and
part of that filter is our RASlooking for what we're seeking.
So the best way I can rememberthis is I, when I bought a red
(07:04):
Hyundai which wasn't the currentcar but the car before that and
I used to drive around thecountry and I'd drive to
Melbourne and before I bought myred Hyundai and never noticed
another one.
And then when I bought it, I'mlike, oh my God, oh my God, oh
my God.
And all of a sudden here areall these red Hyundais.
When I was pregnant many yearsago with my kids, suddenly
pregnant women are everywherearound you because you're
(07:27):
looking, that's not necessarilya belief, but that's what your
mind is focused on, and so thathelps you to seek more evidence
of that.
So when we talk about it in thecontext of beliefs, if we have a
belief about you know you'vegot to work hard in order to
make money we will seek evidencethat that is the case.
We will find examples of thatin others and in ourselves, that
(07:48):
we have to actually work hardto make money and I think about
you know you talk about havingbeliefs set up from a childhood
and from your parents, and thereare stories around parents who
you know, dads who are neveraround I'm going to generalize
here, but I'm thinking of Ican't think of exactly who told
me the story because I feel likeI've heard it so many times but
you know their role model couldhave been James, actually James
(08:11):
B in the book.
We did have two Jameses in thebook, which makes it slightly
confusing as to who we'retalking about.
But James B, I'm sure he saidyou know his dad was never home.
So his belief about success inbusiness is that you've got to
work really hard and long hoursand not be there around your
family, and so that, of course,was the business he created at
the beginning until he had therealization this wasn't working
(08:33):
for him.
And we don't often stop tochallenge the belief that we
have grown up with.
And I think when we get to, youknow, sort of older in life, we
find it harder sometimes toshift a belief because we've
built so much evidence aroundthat belief over the years.
I like to think of it as likethere's a when I was a kid, so
(08:56):
this is probably only going torelate to people around the 40s
or 50s and beyond.
But we used to have that crappyold camp table and, like, you'd
have to lock each of the cornersin place, each of the legs in
place, and inevitably one ofthem would be dodgy and
everything would fall off thetable.
You and like you'd have to lockeach of the corners in place,
each of the legs in place, andinevitably one of them would be
dodgy and everything would falloff the table.
You know, as you're makingdinner.
So I think the tabletop is ourbelief and then all the evidence
(09:18):
we seek are the legs underneath.
So when we lock those legs inplace, we get a really sturdy
tabletop, and that sturdytabletop is the belief that's
really embedded in us.
That is going to be very hard tochange, and I think about all
of the topics that we perhapsleave behind in a polite
conversation, like politics andreligion and those kinds of
(09:40):
things.
Their tabletops are sturdy,those legs are in place and then
it kind of moves on.
So there could be some beliefsthat you have, but there's a bit
of a wobble and this is aboutthat RAS going and looking for a
replacement belief because youwant to wobble that really hard,
strong tabletop right In orderto change it.
But it takes time becauseyou've got to start looking for
(10:02):
and setting your RAS out intothe universe and the world to
say find me more that backs upthe evidence that you don't
actually have to work hard inorder to be successful.
And I think once we start tochallenge the belief, we can
start to then build an evidencebank to put those old legs of
(10:24):
the table, to weaken them sothat belief tumbles and then
strengthen the new one.
Does that make sense?
Nicky (10:30):
Yeah, absolutely, and I think I like that.
I can absolutely see that old.
It's like the card tables, thattable, it's a really good
visual.
And is it wobbly or is itstrong?
Because that also brings upanother point.
Well, two really big points Ithink worth mentioning here is
that you can change your beliefs, but depending on how ingrained
(10:51):
, how strong those table legsare will depend on actually how
much work it will take, how mucheffort, how much time, but you
can change it.
So sometimes your camping table,your belief around success or
what hustle culture is, or anyof those things, or busy, as a
badge of honor, maybe it's notsolid, maybe it's already
wobbling, and so therefore,you're subconsciously ready to
(11:14):
replace that belief, which isthe second point is that, yes,
you can change your beliefs.
It's the awareness of sometimeslonger, harder, sometimes
easier, quick.
We can't assume We've just gotto give it a crack.
And the second thing is you'vegot to replace it.
So you can't just get rid of abelief Like that table.
We can't just take one leg outand then there's all the
(11:34):
toppings and delicious foodwhich is like the life that
we're living isn't going to siton there from that belief
because it's toppled over.
We've got to replace that legwith something that's more
resourceful, something that ismore helpful, something that
serves, and I even think that.
So we've got our deeplyingrained beliefs that really
(11:55):
don't serve us, like even if Ithink about my definition of
success over the years has hadto change because it wasn't
serving, but also sometimes itmight be a shorter term belief
that did serve us for a while,but we're actually like,
actually it's time to change.
Now I'm a different person, I'mgrowing, I'm getting older, so
I'm choosing to let that go tobring in a new belief.
(12:15):
So it could be really long-term, deeply ingrained beliefs, like
James and his dad, or it couldactually just be phases and
cycles of life or business orleadership.
There's so many different waysto look at this and I don't want
anyone to feel overwhelmedbecause the thing is we just
want to start small, always 1%increment.
So I wonder, ness, what couldbe?
Well, actually I know thisanswer because we talked about
(12:36):
it.
Ness (12:37):
What are we going to do?
What?
Nicky (12:38):
are we going to take our beautiful community through to
help get a bit of a realitycheck?
Because if you get a realitycheck, it can highlight for you
what beliefs need to change incontext of let's go with this
down the rabbit hole of being sobusy, never having enough time
to get the things that we wantdone.
Let's go through it.
(12:58):
What are we going to talk?
Ness (12:59):
about to help get a reality check, absolutely so.
This is an exercise that we'vedone with so many of our clients
.
It's in the book and it is aneye opener, to say the least,
and it's so simple.
So I want to set up thisthought that you mentioned it
earlier.
So many people wear busy like abadge of honor, like it's the
(13:21):
excuse that you get around beingable to forget things.
I'm sorry, I didn't ring you, Iwas so busy.
I didn't get to the gym, I wasso busy.
We throw busy around so muchand sometimes it's a really good
way of letting ourselves offthe hook from actually making
the choice about where we spendour time.
(13:42):
And I remember when, years ago,I had a sort of like a mentor
in my life, a woman that I usedto work for and this whole thing
around.
But I'm so busy I can't get todo that, and it's like, well, no
, actually you're choosing thisover that.
And it's not about being busy,it's a choice.
And that always hurts the firsttime you hear it, because,
(14:04):
especially when the choice is towork over picking up my kids
from childcare or is toprioritize something that's not
meaningful and important to me,like doing a report for work
back in the day instead of goingto the gym.
So these are the whole thingaround.
Your beliefs get sucked intoeverywhere around being busy,
(14:25):
and what we want to challengeyou with is this tool we take
people through called 168 hours.
Because, Nicky, why does the168 hours title go onto this
tool?
Nicky (14:37):
Wellness.
Great question we all have 168hours in a week to play with.
It's crazy, isn't it?
I've double checked that numberso many times, by the way,
because I'm like, is it actually168 hours?
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is If we divide that byseven.
Yeah, so we I think that's thefirst reality check we all have
the same amount of time We'vegot 168 hours and what we're
(14:59):
choosing to do with it, and Ithink that's such an important
point you make around own it.
I'm choosing to work overpicking up the kids.
I'm choosing, like I remember,around 2016,.
It was a pivotal moment and Iwas really sick and I said to my
manager I'm going to have to gohome, I'm really sick, and we
had this really importantmeeting that we'd set up.
(15:20):
We had external people comingin, all the jazz and she said is
there any chance you can juststay today and then take all the
time you need?
And I said yes, and I gotpneumonia after that and I know
that it was because I pushed toohard.
I stayed longer, I kept working.
Now, that was 100% on me.
I chose that and there was ahealth detriment to me, but
(15:41):
there was a period of time whereit was really easy to kind of
blame everybody around me andthat's BS.
It wasn't a great choice, butit was still a choice.
And that reality check of justown it because sometimes the
second choice sucks.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely but backto the 168 time order Back to
168.
Ness (16:01):
So this is where I tend to listen to podcasts as I walk.
So if you are walking ordriving, you might want to come
back to this later or just do itmentally in your head, because
what we're wanting you to do isto.
Maybe you need a calculator forthis, because I can never add
up all those hours in my brain.
So, but basically, it's just asheet of paper with two columns
(16:24):
and one of those.
Oh, are we going into it?
Nicky (16:26):
If you're walking, just find a park bench and pull out
your notes on your phone.
There you go.
Ness (16:30):
This is an excuse for you to stop and sit down, stop being
busy, yeah, yeah, take the timebecause, believe me, it's going
to be quite an eye-opener andit will change things for you
around how you see your beliefsystem.
So, on the left hand side, wewant to write down what we call
big rocks.
So big rocks are those thingsthat take up our time, that are
(16:53):
important but alsotime-consuming.
How else would you describethat, Nicky?
Nicky (16:58):
Yeah, so big rocks can be regular things that are
happening for you, and we'll gothrough a bit of a list of what
they are.
But big rocks are important.
They're the things that need tohappen, and it's not just in
the work environment, in thelife environment.
It might be important to yourfamily, your kids, your partner,
but you're a part of it still,so it's taking your time.
Big rocks are big chunks oftime that you have to have in
(17:21):
your calendar each and everyweek.
Ness (17:23):
Okay.
So it's things like if you'reworking meetings, it'd be the
travel time that you havebetween where you live and where
you go to work, or if you aregoing out to meetings or going
to functions, it'd be the actualdelivery of the work that you
do during your working day Allthe admin tasks and, my goodness
, there can be a lot of those inbehind the scenes of getting
(17:45):
the actual work done.
Nicky (17:46):
So ballpark numbers, guys , don't get caught in detail,
just ballpark numbers, oh, wehaven't got to hours yet.
Ness (17:52):
I reckon we should jump down to big rocks first let's
write the list.
Okay, okay, okay, good, good,good, you're so excited to get
there, but you know that's aspoiler alert around where we're
going.
So we're going to do thingslike what about sleeping?
We all actually need sleep, sothat's another big chunk.
If we have hobbies that wemight do exercise, if you're
(18:15):
walking or going to the gym timewith people like your family,
remember them, the ones aroundthe dinner table, any other
responsibilities you may have athome, so maybe you know doing
the cooking or the cleaning,have you got children?
Maybe it's around taking themto their sports and you know
whatever school eventsno-transcript, although what I
(18:39):
hear often from people who aresuper busy is that's the thing
that goes last.
Any other kind of form ofself-care, and I guess the one
that comes up for me that I'mreally mindful of, because I've
got a report that comes up on myphone every Monday telling me
how long I've spent on my phone.
So social media checking yeah,going through Instagram, tiktok,
facebook, whatever is yoursocial media of choice.
Nicky (19:02):
And there's one more to add there yes, lunch breaks or
breaks within the working day.
Make sure that's in there.
And even don't like, just putthem all on the list.
Everything that Ness has said.
Don't be concerned now if youdo or don't spend time on that.
Ness (19:15):
Just put it on the list, yeah yeah, and also, that is not
, you know, the only things thatwill be on that list.
You'll think of other things inthere as well.
You might have caringresponsibilities for elderly
parents or, you know, is theresomething else that you have
commitments for?
So we're kind of looking onaverage for a week.
What's your average week looklike?
Yeah, Then do you want to talkabout the next bit, Nick?
Nicky (19:38):
Oh, absolutely, because you know this is where the data
matters.
So you've got your list,whether it's in your notes on
your phone, or you've got yourpen and paper out and you've
written down your big rocks.
What you're going to write nextto each big rock is the
ballpark number Don't get caughtdown in the detail here the
ballpark number of how manyhours a week you're spending on
(19:59):
that big rock.
So really think about yourMonday to Sunday, think about
your weekends, think about whereyou're spending your time, and
this is without judgment.
So just really pragmatic.
You're just simply looking athere's the big rock ballpark.
How many hours per week am Ispending on each of these areas?
And then you're going to tallyup.
So you might want to pause for asecond.
(20:20):
While you do that, pause thepotty yet.
Well, actually, just pause,okay, and welcome back.
So I hope you played alongthere.
So now what I'd love you to dois tally up.
So add up all the big rocknumber of hours and have a look
at how that compares to 168.
Did your number increase?
(20:41):
Are your actual big rocksadding up to more than 168 hours
?
Is it considerably lower than168 hours?
Is it bang on?
I mean, the thing is, if you'refamiliar with the terminology
of big rocks by Stephen Covey.
There's this very cool videofrom the late 80s.
Go check it out.
But, the idea is that when youcan schedule your big rocks and
(21:01):
you prioritize them first andthen all the other little things
because that's not everythingyou have in your time there's so
many little things that areunexpected, that come in to your
day and your week but it'seasier to fit the little things
in around the big rocks when youfocus on the little things.
If you sweat the small stuff,it's much harder to then
prioritize those big rocks.
(21:21):
So this is really a realitycheck on how much time are your
big rocks taking, and I reallywanted to make sure that you
still have me time self-care onthat list, because if your
number was zero, that's feedbackfor you.
Ness (21:34):
That's why it's important to have that one in there to see
the reality of whether it'szero or not.
Nicky (21:39):
Yeah, Because there's two reality checks here.
Isn't there Ness, like one is?
You're actually over 168 hours.
Ness (21:46):
Yeah, that happened with one of our clients.
I remember she no wonder shewas feeling just stretched to
the limits and burnt out,because the reality was, you
know, once she added in all theresponsibilities as a parent and
all that kind of thing on topof her workload, it was like
something's got to give.
And I can tell you she had zeroin self-care as well.
Nicky (22:06):
And that's where the statistics.
We've seen some really scarystatistics.
When we researched for the bookaround, I think it was a 70 to
94% or 70 to 90% of doctor'svisits are stress-related.
So don't quote me exactly onthat, but it is in the book.
But like it just goes to showright the burnout stats that are
on the rise.
All of this because that iswhat's going to give.
(22:27):
And the reality check is youonly have 168 hours in a week,
friends.
If your number is over 168, youhave got to do something
because you cannot sustain that.
The other reality check is thatoftentimes people will go whoa,
I actually thought that I wouldbe over at 168, but I'm below
it.
And you know, like that socialmedia, that Netflix, what
(22:49):
actually are you spending yourtime on?
Because the reality check hereis you're prioritizing what you
spend your time on.
So maybe it is that you're doomscrolling or you're whatever it
might be, you know.
But I just I really want tohighlight this isn't about
getting being hard on yourself,because if you are spending your
time unresourcefully somewhere,it's usually for a reason.
It's not that you're lazy,that's right.
Ness (23:11):
That's right.
And if you are a data nerd likeme, you can find there's an app
that I use called Lifecycle,and I've actually been using it
for a few years now and that canmap out sort of the big chunks
like sleep and work and you knowall the other things that you
want to program into that aroundwhere you are spending your
(23:32):
time.
And I like doing that becauseat the end of the week I can
sort of do this comparison weekon, week around, just keeping an
eye on you know, did I dropsleep for something else?
Did I increase my hours of work, and you know that kind of.
All of that is captured in data.
So if you're a data geek,sometimes apps can help keep you
on track, although they don'tobviously keep a record of how
(23:54):
long you're on you know yourmobile phone or whatever, but
chunks of time around where youare, it's really fascinating to
sort of look at that and look atthe pattern over a period of
time.
Nicky (24:04):
I mean there's even reports and things or updates on
our phones.
Like how much time do we spendon our phone week, on week, to
kind of answer around that?
And again I really want topress home.
This is really, look at thispragmatically like actually,
where am I spending my time andhow could I do things
differently?
Because if you're finding thatyou are falling into some
unresourceful beliefs, patternsand behaviors, it could be
(24:27):
because you're pushing so muchthrough the week that you're
just exhausted, right.
So it's kind of like this datashows the symptoms but not the
cause.
So when you know the symptomsand you know what reality check
you need to have, then you canstep back and look at those
weeks that you've had around.
Well, what is causing this?
What's causing me to spend mytime in these places?
Ness (24:50):
That's right.
So, for example, if you don'thave any time set aside for
self-care or something toreconnect to self, you'd be
questioning the belief aroundwhy you think that something
else matters more.
Why is that more important?
And there could be seasons inlife, like being a new mum or
something like that, where youare in a different phase and
(25:10):
that can be not a belief but afact.
But really I mean ideally whatyou're looking at is this is
giving you some data to be ableto question why these results,
and if you are feeling trappedin the busy cycle, it's a really
good way of getting that proofaround where you're spending
time so that you can sort ofthen jump up to well, what's a
(25:33):
belief associated with thisresult?
Nicky (25:35):
And then even look at okay, well, I know I'm a new mom
or we're in this growth phaseof business, so actually there's
light at the end of the tunnel,there's positive stress or it's
negative stress.
You know there's no light atthe end of the tunnel.
So what can you do to ask forhelp?
What are some of the changesthat you can make?
I love it, Ness.
So, aside from doing the 168time audit, which is a nice one
(25:56):
for playing along, what's anaction that people can take in
the next 24 hours?
Ness (26:07):
I think one action that's going to be really helpful for
those who are feeling likethere's not enough hours in the
day is to find something in yourcalendar over the next week or
two that you can actually say noto and replace it with
something that really mattersand is important to you.
I love that.
Nicky (26:20):
Donna McGeorge often talks about the relief when
someone cancels a meeting.
Actually you know how good isit?
Because it's like, oh, I've gotthat hour back, oh, I've got it
.
Ness (26:29):
It's kind of like set a meeting.
Nicky (26:30):
Actually, I've heard her say this you could even set a
meeting up with yourself andthen cancel it, so you've got
that hour.
Ness (26:46):
But that would be an additional task.
You know, creating space.
We want you to just findsomething to say no to, to get
you back some hours in that 168precious hours that you have
each week.
Love it, okay?
Well, that wraps us up foranother week on this podcast.
Thanks for listening.
Everyone, have a great week.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for listening to today'sep.
If you loved what you heard,connect with us over on LinkedIn
and let's continue theconversation over there.
Did you hear?
(27:07):
You can now buy our bookHealthy Hustle the new blueprint
to thrive in business and life,at healthyhustlecomau.
Want us to speak to your teamor run a workshop on healthy
hustle in your workplace?
Send us an email or go oldschool and give us a call to
discuss.
Until next time, happylistening and here's to thriving
(27:28):
in business and life.
Welcome to the Smart Business Growth Podcast with
Nicky and.
Ness.
Ness (00:11):
We would like to acknowledge the traditional
custodians of country, theTurrbal and Bunurong people of
Brisbane and Melbournerespectively, where Nicky and I
both work and live both work andlive.
Nicky (00:32):
The beliefs that we have play such a huge part in either
helping us move forward in ourlife, in our business, in the
areas that matter to us, orholding us back, hindering our
success, keeping us stuck.
We talk a lot about beliefsthroughout our book.
It actually plays a big role indifferent areas of finding that
place of healthy hustle.
Because when we can work on ourbeliefs, when we can work on
(00:52):
the thoughts that we have, ourthoughts, our beliefs become
feelings, become emotions.
They impact the perception thatwe have of the world around us
and that, in turn, is whatimpacts the action that we take.
Beliefs that we have willimpact so many areas.
I've done so many workshopsover the past around sales
beliefs.
(01:13):
Actually, anytime I do workwith a new client, we have to
start with, we must start withuncovering the beliefs that the
business owner, leaders, teamshave around sales.
What does sales mean to us?
Ness, you've done a lot of workand continue to do a lot of
work around money beliefs.
Ness (01:31):
Absolutely.
We just got so much to jump inand say Money beliefs,
definitely, especially aroundbusiness and in life, the
differences between people cancome down to this belief system.
You know, some people believethat there's not enough money,
some people believe that thereis enough money.
Some people believe, like yousaid, with sales, sales is evil,
(01:54):
necessary evil kind of thing,sales is hard, all of that kind
of stuff.
It's just, I think peopleunderestimate how many beliefs
we hold about such a range ofdifferent things that impact the
behaviors.
No, actually start withthoughts, behaviors and actions
that we take all based on thisthing.
(02:14):
That happens in a split second,subconsciously, where we have
no thought process necessarilyaround questioning it.
Nicky (02:23):
Totally, because it's happening automatically, isn't
it?
That subconscious belief systemis kicking off and we don't
even know about it?
And sometimes we can look atwhy do I keep doing this repeat
pattern you hear often withrelationships?
Why do I keep attracting thistype of person?
Why do I keep doing this tomyself?
Well, chances are we need tolook under the hood and really
explore what beliefs are drivingcertain behaviors.
(02:43):
So we've talked about itimpacts sales beliefs.
It impacts money beliefs thatwe have as we go into the world
and earn more money, like thebeliefs that were embedded in us
from when we were children,from when we were younger.
Even our beliefs around whatsuccess looks like.
You know, what does hustle looklike?
What does success look like?
Our definition of hard work?
(03:04):
What does hustle look like?
What does success look like?
Our definition of hard work,our belief around what kind of
leader we can be and what makesa great leader.
We've had incredibleconversations with leaders.
There's one person inparticular that comes to mind
who we interviewed for our book,james H, and when I first met
him years ago, his belief wasthat vulnerability is a weakness
(03:27):
as a leader.
Do not be vulnerable, it is aweakness.
Now, after working together, herealized actually that's not
true.
In fact, vulnerability can be astrength.
Being human and being real andauthentic can be a strength.
And I love it, because he justrecently completed the Dare to
Lead, brene Brown LeadershipWorkshop and I was reflecting,
(03:49):
thinking how cool is that?
That's, I think seven yearslater or, I don't know, a number
of years later, and here he isloving and embracing.
If we think about a leaderembracing vulnerability and
sharing that story, it's got tobe Brene Brown right yeah of
course, but that beliefinitially was holding him back
being a great leader and when hecould face that.
it was uncomfortable at firstbut he was able to move through
(04:11):
that.
So experiences we've had withother leaders, experiences as a
business owner, things we'veseen things, we've observed
things, we've been a part ofthings we've been told.
You know, our beliefs have beencreated since day dot, since,
some would argue, even before wecame into this world, but
that's a whole other type ofpodcast.
But these beliefs we've createdparticularly in our
(04:34):
transformative years, in zero toseven, and then they continue
to be built upon and embedded inthe world that we live in, from
our parents, our caretakers,the people around us, school and
we progress, high school, unior not, uni, 20s, et cetera, et
cetera.
So, realistically, our beliefsare created from our experiences
(04:55):
, from events that have happenedthat we've been a part of.
That also creates our valuesand we're constantly seeking out
evidence for our beliefs to betrue Because, you know, really
all of this comes down toperspective.
I was talking to Jules.
I was very profound thismorning on my walk with Jules,
saying really everything is justperspective and it's kind of
(05:16):
all BS, but it's all our reality, like at the end of the day.
So, ness, can you take usthrough when I say we're
constantly searching, not evenrealizing, subconsciously
searching for evidence for ourbeliefs to be true, whether they
serve us or not, whether theyhelp or hinder us.
What do we mean by that?
Ness (05:35):
It's a really great question because I think the
answer itself helps tounderstand why some people are
so steadfast in their beliefsand will not change at all, and
why others can change.
So there is this part of ourbrain called the Recticular
Activating System we like tocall it the RAS for short and
what that does is it goes out.
(05:57):
That's the information seeker,that's the truth finder, truth
to back up our belief system.
Not necessarily the truth ofblack and white truth, right,
it's just whatever we make up.
We make up a story in our headabout what something means, we
make that a belief and we lookfor evidence to back it up.
Because at any point you know,you think about, as we're
sitting here recording thispodcast, and wherever you are
(06:19):
listening or watching it, therewill be millions I think it's 11
million bits of informationthat come at us at any given
time.
So I'm sitting in an officewhere there's trees outside and
there's sunshine and there's abit of wind going on, and then
the dog somewhere and you know,and we're having a conversation.
So there's so many differentthings that if we, if our brains
, took it all in, they'dprobably explode.
(06:41):
I don't know whether that'sscientifically correct, but so
you know, we just can't.
So we chunk it down to find thethe maybe about.
What is it?
Seven bits give or take, two,seven chunks of information, and
part of that filter is our RASlooking for what we're seeking.
So the best way I can rememberthis is I, when I bought a red
(07:04):
Hyundai which wasn't the currentcar but the car before that and
I used to drive around thecountry and I'd drive to
Melbourne and before I bought myred Hyundai and never noticed
another one.
And then when I bought it, I'mlike, oh my God, oh my God, oh
my God.
And all of a sudden here areall these red Hyundais.
When I was pregnant many yearsago with my kids, suddenly
pregnant women are everywherearound you because you're
(07:27):
looking, that's not necessarilya belief, but that's what your
mind is focused on, and so thathelps you to seek more evidence
of that.
So when we talk about it in thecontext of beliefs, if we have a
belief about you know you'vegot to work hard in order to
make money we will seek evidencethat that is the case.
We will find examples of thatin others and in ourselves, that
(07:48):
we have to actually work hardto make money and I think about
you know you talk about havingbeliefs set up from a childhood
and from your parents, and thereare stories around parents who
you know, dads who are neveraround I'm going to generalize
here, but I'm thinking of Ican't think of exactly who told
me the story because I feel likeI've heard it so many times but
you know their role model couldhave been James, actually James
(08:11):
B in the book.
We did have two Jameses in thebook, which makes it slightly
confusing as to who we'retalking about.
But James B, I'm sure he saidyou know his dad was never home.
So his belief about success inbusiness is that you've got to
work really hard and long hoursand not be there around your
family, and so that, of course,was the business he created at
the beginning until he had therealization this wasn't working
(08:33):
for him.
And we don't often stop tochallenge the belief that we
have grown up with.
And I think when we get to, youknow, sort of older in life, we
find it harder sometimes toshift a belief because we've
built so much evidence aroundthat belief over the years.
I like to think of it as likethere's a when I was a kid, so
(08:56):
this is probably only going torelate to people around the 40s
or 50s and beyond.
But we used to have that crappyold camp table and, like, you'd
have to lock each of the cornersin place, each of the legs in
place, and inevitably one ofthem would be dodgy and
everything would fall off thetable.
You and like you'd have to lockeach of the corners in place,
each of the legs in place, andinevitably one of them would be
dodgy and everything would falloff the table.
You know, as you're makingdinner.
So I think the tabletop is ourbelief and then all the evidence
(09:18):
we seek are the legs underneath.
So when we lock those legs inplace, we get a really sturdy
tabletop, and that sturdytabletop is the belief that's
really embedded in us.
That is going to be very hard tochange, and I think about all
of the topics that we perhapsleave behind in a polite
conversation, like politics andreligion and those kinds of
(09:40):
things.
Their tabletops are sturdy,those legs are in place and then
it kind of moves on.
So there could be some beliefsthat you have, but there's a bit
of a wobble and this is aboutthat RAS going and looking for a
replacement belief because youwant to wobble that really hard,
strong tabletop right In orderto change it.
But it takes time becauseyou've got to start looking for
(10:02):
and setting your RAS out intothe universe and the world to
say find me more that backs upthe evidence that you don't
actually have to work hard inorder to be successful.
And I think once we start tochallenge the belief, we can
start to then build an evidencebank to put those old legs of
(10:24):
the table, to weaken them sothat belief tumbles and then
strengthen the new one.
Does that make sense?
Nicky (10:30):
Yeah, absolutely, and I think I like that.
I can absolutely see that old.
It's like the card tables, thattable, it's a really good
visual.
And is it wobbly or is itstrong?
Because that also brings upanother point.
Well, two really big points Ithink worth mentioning here is
that you can change your beliefs, but depending on how ingrained
(10:51):
, how strong those table legsare will depend on actually how
much work it will take, how mucheffort, how much time, but you
can change it.
So sometimes your camping table,your belief around success or
what hustle culture is, or anyof those things, or busy, as a
badge of honor, maybe it's notsolid, maybe it's already
wobbling, and so therefore,you're subconsciously ready to
(11:14):
replace that belief, which isthe second point is that, yes,
you can change your beliefs.
It's the awareness of sometimeslonger, harder, sometimes
easier, quick.
We can't assume We've just gotto give it a crack.
And the second thing is you'vegot to replace it.
So you can't just get rid of abelief Like that table.
We can't just take one leg outand then there's all the
(11:34):
toppings and delicious foodwhich is like the life that
we're living isn't going to siton there from that belief
because it's toppled over.
We've got to replace that legwith something that's more
resourceful, something that ismore helpful, something that
serves, and I even think that.
So we've got our deeplyingrained beliefs that really
(11:55):
don't serve us, like even if Ithink about my definition of
success over the years has hadto change because it wasn't
serving, but also sometimes itmight be a shorter term belief
that did serve us for a while,but we're actually like,
actually it's time to change.
Now I'm a different person, I'mgrowing, I'm getting older, so
I'm choosing to let that go tobring in a new belief.
(12:15):
So it could be really long-term, deeply ingrained beliefs, like
James and his dad, or it couldactually just be phases and
cycles of life or business orleadership.
There's so many different waysto look at this and I don't want
anyone to feel overwhelmedbecause the thing is we just
want to start small, always 1%increment.
So I wonder, ness, what couldbe?
Well, actually I know thisanswer because we talked about
(12:36):
it.
Ness (12:37):
What are we going to do?
What?
Nicky (12:38):
are we going to take our beautiful community through to
help get a bit of a realitycheck?
Because if you get a realitycheck, it can highlight for you
what beliefs need to change incontext of let's go with this
down the rabbit hole of being sobusy, never having enough time
to get the things that we wantdone.
Let's go through it.
(12:58):
What are we going to talk?
Ness (12:59):
about to help get a reality check, absolutely so.
This is an exercise that we'vedone with so many of our clients
.
It's in the book and it is aneye opener, to say the least,
and it's so simple.
So I want to set up thisthought that you mentioned it
earlier.
So many people wear busy like abadge of honor, like it's the
(13:21):
excuse that you get around beingable to forget things.
I'm sorry, I didn't ring you, Iwas so busy.
I didn't get to the gym, I wasso busy.
We throw busy around so muchand sometimes it's a really good
way of letting ourselves offthe hook from actually making
the choice about where we spendour time.
(13:42):
And I remember when, years ago,I had a sort of like a mentor
in my life, a woman that I usedto work for and this whole thing
around.
But I'm so busy I can't get todo that, and it's like, well, no
, actually you're choosing thisover that.
And it's not about being busy,it's a choice.
And that always hurts the firsttime you hear it, because,
(14:04):
especially when the choice is towork over picking up my kids
from childcare or is toprioritize something that's not
meaningful and important to me,like doing a report for work
back in the day instead of goingto the gym.
So these are the whole thingaround.
Your beliefs get sucked intoeverywhere around being busy,
(14:25):
and what we want to challengeyou with is this tool we take
people through called 168 hours.
Because, Nicky, why does the168 hours title go onto this
tool?
Nicky (14:37):
Wellness.
Great question we all have 168hours in a week to play with.
It's crazy, isn't it?
I've double checked that numberso many times, by the way,
because I'm like, is it actually168 hours?
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is If we divide that byseven.
Yeah, so we I think that's thefirst reality check we all have
the same amount of time We'vegot 168 hours and what we're
(14:59):
choosing to do with it, and Ithink that's such an important
point you make around own it.
I'm choosing to work overpicking up the kids.
I'm choosing, like I remember,around 2016,.
It was a pivotal moment and Iwas really sick and I said to my
manager I'm going to have to gohome, I'm really sick, and we
had this really importantmeeting that we'd set up.
(15:20):
We had external people comingin, all the jazz and she said is
there any chance you can juststay today and then take all the
time you need?
And I said yes, and I gotpneumonia after that and I know
that it was because I pushed toohard.
I stayed longer, I kept working.
Now, that was 100% on me.
I chose that and there was ahealth detriment to me, but
(15:41):
there was a period of time whereit was really easy to kind of
blame everybody around me andthat's BS.
It wasn't a great choice, butit was still a choice.
And that reality check of justown it because sometimes the
second choice sucks.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely but backto the 168 time order Back to
168.
Ness (16:01):
So this is where I tend to listen to podcasts as I walk.
So if you are walking ordriving, you might want to come
back to this later or just do itmentally in your head, because
what we're wanting you to do isto.
Maybe you need a calculator forthis, because I can never add
up all those hours in my brain.
So, but basically, it's just asheet of paper with two columns
(16:24):
and one of those.
Oh, are we going into it?
Nicky (16:26):
If you're walking, just find a park bench and pull out
your notes on your phone.
There you go.
Ness (16:30):
This is an excuse for you to stop and sit down, stop being
busy, yeah, yeah, take the timebecause, believe me, it's going
to be quite an eye-opener andit will change things for you
around how you see your beliefsystem.
So, on the left hand side, wewant to write down what we call
big rocks.
So big rocks are those thingsthat take up our time, that are
(16:53):
important but alsotime-consuming.
How else would you describethat, Nicky?
Nicky (16:58):
Yeah, so big rocks can be regular things that are
happening for you, and we'll gothrough a bit of a list of what
they are.
But big rocks are important.
They're the things that need tohappen, and it's not just in
the work environment, in thelife environment.
It might be important to yourfamily, your kids, your partner,
but you're a part of it still,so it's taking your time.
Big rocks are big chunks oftime that you have to have in
(17:21):
your calendar each and everyweek.
Ness (17:23):
Okay.
So it's things like if you'reworking meetings, it'd be the
travel time that you havebetween where you live and where
you go to work, or if you aregoing out to meetings or going
to functions, it'd be the actualdelivery of the work that you
do during your working day Allthe admin tasks and, my goodness
, there can be a lot of those inbehind the scenes of getting
(17:45):
the actual work done.
Nicky (17:46):
So ballpark numbers, guys , don't get caught in detail,
just ballpark numbers, oh, wehaven't got to hours yet.
Ness (17:52):
I reckon we should jump down to big rocks first let's
write the list.
Okay, okay, okay, good, good,good, you're so excited to get
there, but you know that's aspoiler alert around where we're
going.
So we're going to do thingslike what about sleeping?
We all actually need sleep, sothat's another big chunk.
If we have hobbies that wemight do exercise, if you're
(18:15):
walking or going to the gym timewith people like your family,
remember them, the ones aroundthe dinner table, any other
responsibilities you may have athome, so maybe you know doing
the cooking or the cleaning,have you got children?
Maybe it's around taking themto their sports and you know
whatever school eventsno-transcript, although what I
(18:39):
hear often from people who aresuper busy is that's the thing
that goes last.
Any other kind of form ofself-care, and I guess the one
that comes up for me that I'mreally mindful of, because I've
got a report that comes up on myphone every Monday telling me
how long I've spent on my phone.
So social media checking yeah,going through Instagram, tiktok,
facebook, whatever is yoursocial media of choice.
Nicky (19:02):
And there's one more to add there yes, lunch breaks or
breaks within the working day.
Make sure that's in there.
And even don't like, just putthem all on the list.
Everything that Ness has said.
Don't be concerned now if youdo or don't spend time on that.
Ness (19:15):
Just put it on the list, yeah yeah, and also, that is not
, you know, the only things thatwill be on that list.
You'll think of other things inthere as well.
You might have caringresponsibilities for elderly
parents or, you know, is theresomething else that you have
commitments for?
So we're kind of looking onaverage for a week.
What's your average week looklike?
Yeah, Then do you want to talkabout the next bit, Nick?
Nicky (19:38):
Oh, absolutely, because you know this is where the data
matters.
So you've got your list,whether it's in your notes on
your phone, or you've got yourpen and paper out and you've
written down your big rocks.
What you're going to write nextto each big rock is the
ballpark number Don't get caughtdown in the detail here the
ballpark number of how manyhours a week you're spending on
(19:59):
that big rock.
So really think about yourMonday to Sunday, think about
your weekends, think about whereyou're spending your time, and
this is without judgment.
So just really pragmatic.
You're just simply looking athere's the big rock ballpark.
How many hours per week am Ispending on each of these areas?
And then you're going to tallyup.
So you might want to pause for asecond.
(20:20):
While you do that, pause thepotty yet.
Well, actually, just pause,okay, and welcome back.
So I hope you played alongthere.
So now what I'd love you to dois tally up.
So add up all the big rocknumber of hours and have a look
at how that compares to 168.
Did your number increase?
(20:41):
Are your actual big rocksadding up to more than 168 hours
?
Is it considerably lower than168 hours?
Is it bang on?
I mean, the thing is, if you'refamiliar with the terminology
of big rocks by Stephen Covey.
There's this very cool videofrom the late 80s.
Go check it out.
But, the idea is that when youcan schedule your big rocks and
(21:01):
you prioritize them first andthen all the other little things
because that's not everythingyou have in your time there's so
many little things that areunexpected, that come in to your
day and your week but it'seasier to fit the little things
in around the big rocks when youfocus on the little things.
If you sweat the small stuff,it's much harder to then
prioritize those big rocks.
(21:21):
So this is really a realitycheck on how much time are your
big rocks taking, and I reallywanted to make sure that you
still have me time self-care onthat list, because if your
number was zero, that's feedbackfor you.
Ness (21:34):
That's why it's important to have that one in there to see
the reality of whether it'szero or not.
Nicky (21:39):
Yeah, Because there's two reality checks here.
Isn't there Ness, like one is?
You're actually over 168 hours.
Ness (21:46):
Yeah, that happened with one of our clients.
I remember she no wonder shewas feeling just stretched to
the limits and burnt out,because the reality was, you
know, once she added in all theresponsibilities as a parent and
all that kind of thing on topof her workload, it was like
something's got to give.
And I can tell you she had zeroin self-care as well.
Nicky (22:06):
And that's where the statistics.
We've seen some really scarystatistics.
When we researched for the bookaround, I think it was a 70 to
94% or 70 to 90% of doctor'svisits are stress-related.
So don't quote me exactly onthat, but it is in the book.
But like it just goes to showright the burnout stats that are
on the rise.
All of this because that iswhat's going to give.
(22:27):
And the reality check is youonly have 168 hours in a week,
friends.
If your number is over 168, youhave got to do something
because you cannot sustain that.
The other reality check is thatoftentimes people will go whoa,
I actually thought that I wouldbe over at 168, but I'm below
it.
And you know, like that socialmedia, that Netflix, what
(22:49):
actually are you spending yourtime on?
Because the reality check hereis you're prioritizing what you
spend your time on.
So maybe it is that you're doomscrolling or you're whatever it
might be, you know.
But I just I really want tohighlight this isn't about
getting being hard on yourself,because if you are spending your
time unresourcefully somewhere,it's usually for a reason.
It's not that you're lazy,that's right.
Ness (23:11):
That's right.
And if you are a data nerd likeme, you can find there's an app
that I use called Lifecycle,and I've actually been using it
for a few years now and that canmap out sort of the big chunks
like sleep and work and you knowall the other things that you
want to program into that aroundwhere you are spending your
(23:32):
time.
And I like doing that becauseat the end of the week I can
sort of do this comparison weekon, week around, just keeping an
eye on you know, did I dropsleep for something else?
Did I increase my hours of work, and you know that kind of.
All of that is captured in data.
So if you're a data geek,sometimes apps can help keep you
on track, although they don'tobviously keep a record of how
(23:54):
long you're on you know yourmobile phone or whatever, but
chunks of time around where youare, it's really fascinating to
sort of look at that and look atthe pattern over a period of
time.
Nicky (24:04):
I mean there's even reports and things or updates on
our phones.
Like how much time do we spendon our phone week, on week, to
kind of answer around that?
And again I really want topress home.
This is really, look at thispragmatically like actually,
where am I spending my time andhow could I do things
differently?
Because if you're finding thatyou are falling into some
unresourceful beliefs, patternsand behaviors, it could be
(24:27):
because you're pushing so muchthrough the week that you're
just exhausted, right.
So it's kind of like this datashows the symptoms but not the
cause.
So when you know the symptomsand you know what reality check
you need to have, then you canstep back and look at those
weeks that you've had around.
Well, what is causing this?
What's causing me to spend mytime in these places?
Ness (24:50):
That's right.
So, for example, if you don'thave any time set aside for
self-care or something toreconnect to self, you'd be
questioning the belief aroundwhy you think that something
else matters more.
Why is that more important?
And there could be seasons inlife, like being a new mum or
something like that, where youare in a different phase and
(25:10):
that can be not a belief but afact.
But really I mean ideally whatyou're looking at is this is
giving you some data to be ableto question why these results,
and if you are feeling trappedin the busy cycle, it's a really
good way of getting that proofaround where you're spending
time so that you can sort ofthen jump up to well, what's a
(25:33):
belief associated with thisresult?
Nicky (25:35):
And then even look at okay, well, I know I'm a new mom
or we're in this growth phaseof business, so actually there's
light at the end of the tunnel,there's positive stress or it's
negative stress.
You know there's no light atthe end of the tunnel.
So what can you do to ask forhelp?
What are some of the changesthat you can make?
I love it, Ness.
So, aside from doing the 168time audit, which is a nice one
(25:56):
for playing along, what's anaction that people can take in
the next 24 hours?
Ness (26:07):
I think one action that's going to be really helpful for
those who are feeling likethere's not enough hours in the
day is to find something in yourcalendar over the next week or
two that you can actually say noto and replace it with
something that really mattersand is important to you.
I love that.
Nicky (26:20):
Donna McGeorge often talks about the relief when
someone cancels a meeting.
Actually you know how good isit?
Because it's like, oh, I've gotthat hour back, oh, I've got it
.
Ness (26:29):
It's kind of like set a meeting.
Nicky (26:30):
Actually, I've heard her say this you could even set a
meeting up with yourself andthen cancel it, so you've got
that hour.
Ness (26:46):
But that would be an additional task.
You know, creating space.
We want you to just findsomething to say no to, to get
you back some hours in that 168precious hours that you have
each week.
Love it, okay?
Well, that wraps us up foranother week on this podcast.
Thanks for listening.
Everyone, have a great week.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for listening to today'sep.
If you loved what you heard,connect with us over on LinkedIn
and let's continue theconversation over there.
Did you hear?
(27:07):
You can now buy our bookHealthy Hustle the new blueprint
to thrive in business and life,at healthyhustlecomau.
Want us to speak to your teamor run a workshop on healthy
hustle in your workplace?
Send us an email or go oldschool and give us a call to
discuss.
Until next time, happylistening and here's to thriving
(27:28):
in business and life.
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