January 8, 2024 • 17 mins
Step right up to the grand stage of history where the dead speak and the living listen—in a most literal sense! Join Phoenix and I as we recount the spine-chilling story of Pope Formosus, whose earthly deeds led to an otherworldly trial, long after his last breath. This week's episode is a tapestry of intrigue and gastronomy, where we not only unearth ecclesiastical enigmas but also share the divine pleasure of a pork loin recipe worthy of saintly acclaim. You'll be left pondering the lengths of medieval politics while savoring the richness of Vatican cuisine, as we intertwine tales of the past with the culinary adventures that await in your kitchen.
But our journey doesn't stop at the Vatican's walls. We venture further into the annals of cultural expression, shedding light on the Mayans' striking practice of cranial deformation and the quest for beauty that knows no bounds. Through vivid discussions and historical insights, we navigate the world of body modifications, revealing how civilizations across the globe have sculpted their bodies in the pursuit of aesthetic ideals. So grab your apron and your curiosity, as Phoenix and I guide you through an episode that serves up a feast for the mind and the taste buds, seeking the extraordinary in the folds of history and the flavors of tradition.
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Authentic, Delectable Vatican Recipes: A Complete Cookbook of Delicious Italian Dish Ideas!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Smarticast .
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Tales.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
History.
Alright, enough with the Echoand Fanfare.
You're here for history, right,and not that boring crack you
learned in high school.
This stuff's actuallyinteresting, like things you've
never heard about the Civil War,cleopatra, automobiles,
monopoly, the Black Plague andmore Fascinating stories,
interesting topics and somedownright weird facts from the
(00:27):
past.
It's a new twist on somestories you may know and an
interesting look at some thingsyou may have never heard.
So grab a beer, kick back andenjoy.
Here's your host, smarticast.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Hello and welcome to this week's episode of
Smarticast Tales History.
I am your host, smarticast, andI am accompanied by my co-host,
phoenix.
Hello, today we'll be delvinginto a truly bizarre and macabre
chapter of papal history.
It's a story of power struggles, revenge and an event that can
only be described as a medievaloutcourtroom drama.
Yes, my friends, today we'retalking about the infamous trial
(01:02):
of Pope Formosus by hissuccessor, pope Stephen VI.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Let's talk about food first.
Today we've got a marinated andgrilled pork loin which
actually comes from theauthentic, delectable Vatican
recipes cookbook.
That's an actual thing folks.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Yep, it's on Amazon Kindle.
If you haven't, it was free.
If you have Kindle Unlimited,and then if not, I think it was
like five or six bucks,something like that.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Yeah, and then you too can eat the Pope's favorite
Fettuccine recipe.
It's in there.
Oh, and we also, because we'redoing a rather special episode
this week.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Just two little short stories this time, because they
were super short, so we wentahead and just combined the two.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Yes, so we're going to be talking about the
interesting practice of theMayan people in Mesoamerica of
binding their children's headsto make them look like they were
the same shape as corn.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Yep, which is bizarre , but I have seen pictures of it
previously.
Oh yeah, I didn't look at itfor this episode, but yeah, I
have seen it.
They do look bizarre.
Well, I guess it's not pictures, because they didn't have
pictures.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
No, but they've got illustrations of what it would
have looked like.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
And well, that's not true.
They do have pictures of themummies and stuff that are left
behind.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
There's actually a couple of pictures of a part of
my eat.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Yeah, this is really good.
The pork is really juicy, mygosh.
The pork is really good, by theway.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yeah, but there are.
There are actually black andwhite pictures of some people
who were kind of like leftovers,like this guy's head was shaped
like an ear of corn and it wasan actual photograph from like
the 1800s.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
I guess some cultures still practice it some.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
They used to.
I don't think they do itanymore, though.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Yeah, I mean, I would hope not.
I mean, although I guess someindigenous tribes that are still
around, I mean they might.
Um, yeah, anyways, um, thispork loin man, this is so good.
This is probably the best porkI've ever had.
This is really good.
Um, it use.
(03:21):
What kind of wine did you usewine?
Right, yeah, what kind did youuse?
I used a Merlot.
I used a red Moscato.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Oh, I bet that's delicious.
That's the only one I have isMerlot.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah, it was really good and it's.
This recipe is super simple.
I actually had most of theingredients already.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Um yeah, it's mostly spices.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yeah, the marinade.
It called out a quarter cup ofwine red wine a quarter cup of
soy sauce, quarter cup ofunsalted ketchup, a quarter cup
of apple cider vinegar, or justcider vinegar is what said, but
I think it's all apple cidervinegar.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
No, there's regular vinegar.
That's what I used.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
It called out cider vinegar, though.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Oh sorry, I don't know.
That's a really good question.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah, um.
And and then it was, the spiceswere regular pepper.
Well, it said sweet paprika.
I used regular paprika.
Now, it was a tablespoon ofthat, yeah, one tablespoon of
that.
A teaspoon of smoked paprika, ateaspoon of ground garlic.
(04:33):
Well, it said granulatedmustard, granulated garlic, and
then also said granulatedmustard.
I used ground garlic and groundmustard.
After that's, that's probablythe same thing.
Yeah, um, and then it's calledout onion flakes, which I used
minced onion flakes.
Um, what else was there?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
I think that's it right.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
I think that is it.
Yeah, um, but I said youmarinate it.
I actually marinated mineovernight, um, it said you just
marinate for a couple of hours,but I just I did it last night
mainly because I also forgot toget the pork loin last night.
Um, I forgot to get itWednesday, um, when I did, when
I did a little bit of shopping.
So when I got home from myThanksgiving trip, um, I had to
(05:20):
go straight to Crest, which islike Dylan's or whatever.
Um, only there there are 24hours, Um, and I had to grab two
pork loins, um, cause I madetwo of these Nice, uh, and then
I totally forgot about the corn,like I told you earlier.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I think I can corn guys, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah, I have an area, I do have an ear of corn, um,
but I had to go to DollarGeneral this morning and go grab
, go grab one, cause Icompletely forgot about the corn
.
Oh, that's good.
You, uh, you grilled the porkloin, it said, for about 35 to
45 minutes on medium heat on thegrill.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
I did mine the oven.
I just stuck it in there at 400for about 30, five minutes.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, it took me about an hour on the grill, not
quite 35 to 45 minutes.
Yeah, it's saying.
It said they'll only get it to145 temperature roughly.
So that's what I did.
I have a, you know, I have afancy thermometer that I put on
there we do too.
It was about 145 and, and Ithink the other one like said I
made two of them.
(06:22):
The other one was like 155 orsomething.
I was like that's good enough.
Yeah, oh, and that's it.
I mean it was super simple andit is.
This is really good.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Very delicious yeah uh-huh for sure.
Well, now that we're donetalking about food, let me set
the stage for the first part ofour episode.
It's the ninth century and thepapal office is a hot seat for
political intrigue andecclesiastical power struggles.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
The church at this time wielded immense authority
over Europe, and the papacy wasa position of both spiritual and
political significance.
However, even with all of itsboastful power, it still had
political parties manipulating agreat deal.
And Then there's Pope Stephenthe sixth, who ascended to the
papal throne in 896 afterFormosus's death.
Stephen the sixth, under thegreat influence of the ruling
(07:17):
Spoleto aristocratic family, hada bone to pick with his
predecessor, and not justmetaphorically.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
The last figure influencing this story was the
aristocratic family thatSmarticus mentioned.
Thanks largely to Pope Stephenthe sixth.
The reluctant Duke of Spoletonamed Guy the third was crowned
as the Holy Roman Emperor.
No joke, this family was fullof people named Lambert and Guy
and all related by just a couplegenerations to the Charlemagne
(07:45):
Guy the third son.
You guessed it, lambert had alot of influence on his distant
cousin Stephen the sixth.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Now the story begins.
Pope Formosus Made waves withhis controversial endorsement
for Emperor, among other things,during his five years on the
papal throne.
Not that it was that acharacter for him, as he had
been getting in trouble withother factions in the church
four years before he was madePope.
One thing he wanted to undothat his predecessor had put
into action was the co-emperorship held by Guy the second and
(08:13):
his son, lambert From the rulingSpoleto family.
He wanted to remove the powerthat the family had in Rome, so
he asked King Arnolf of EastFranks to invade Italy while
crowning Arnolf as emperor.
This, however, went nowhere, asArnolf suffered from the war
and the death of Arnolfparalysis and had to return home
before his invasion could takeplace.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
To make matters worse , in April of 896, pope Formosus
died and the whole issue wasleft unresolved.
The papal hat then went toBoniface VI, who had it for
about two weeks before he eitherdied of the gout or was
murdered by Stephen VI.
Stephen jumped into the hotseat fully intending to make a
difference.
Supporting his cousin Lambertand the spallettian faction
(08:55):
adamantly made him easilysusceptible to encouragement,
but he did, after becoming Pope,set him apart in a way that not
only horrified the church butthe countries that followed the
religion during the time, aswell as those millennia after.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
In a move that would make a modern day courtroom
drama pale in comparison, popeStephen VI decided to put the
dead Pope Formosus on trial.
Yes, you heard that correctly atrial of a deceased pope.
But why, you might ask?
The Catholic Encyclopedia saysand this is a quote whether
induced by evil passion orperhaps more probably compelled
by the emperor Lambert and hismother, agil Truda.
(09:31):
Whatever it was, stephen VI,backed by a group of influential
clerics and his cousin, wantedto discredit Formosus and the
actions he had taken during hispapacy.
They accused Formosus of alaundry list of offenses,
including perjury, violatingchurch laws and, most bizarrely,
seeking the papacy illegally.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Ignoring entirely the fact that he was guilty of the
little matter known as corpsedesecration.
But it doesn't stop there,folks.
To make this trial even more,macabre, Pope Stephen VI ordered
Formosus's body to not only beexhumed from its tomb but
dressed in papal vestments.
The corpse was then propped upin court and a deacon was
appointed to serve as Formosus'slegal counsel and mouthpiece,
(10:13):
just to make things seemlegitimate.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
The trial itself was a spectacle of absurdity that
disgusted and traumatized theunwitting clergy who were forced
to be the jury for the trial.
The deceased Formosus was foundguilty on all charges, his
papacy declared null and voidand his papal vestments were
torn from his lifeless body.
To add insult to injury, two ofhis fingers those used for
blessing were severed and hisbody were unceremoniously tossed
(10:40):
into the Tiber River.
Yeah, wow oh yeah, that'spretty brutal.
I mean not that he cares, he'salready dead.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Right well, empty house.
Anyone wondering what theaftermath of this bizarre trial
was Well, it didn't exactly goover well with the masses was
eventually overthrown,imprisoned and given a sentence
of strangulation.
Isn't that lovely, wow, yeah.
Some years later, during the20-day tenure of Pope Theodore
(11:12):
II, formosus was reinstated andhad his body that was eventually
recovered from the Tiber,reburied in St Peter's Basilica
and the Vatican City.
The Catholic Church, known forits long memory, eventually
decided that trying dead popeswasn't a good look, and so have
insisted that it never happenagain.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
There you have it, dear listeners the tale of Pope
Stephen VI and the posthumoustrial of Pope Formosus, a story
that leaves us feeling kind ofsecondhand embarrassment and
revulsion.
But we are not done yet.
As we said, we have.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
You get a two for one .
Speaker 2 (11:48):
You'd get a two for one.
That's right.
So the second story we weretalking about today, like we
mentioned, is an intriguing yetenigmatic practice of head
shaping among the ancient Mayans.
Specifically, we'll explore thenotion that they sought to make
their children's heads resembleears of corn.
Strap in, because this is goingto be quite the journey A short
journey, but a journey.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Right, but there's no crystal skulls, so sorry, Indy.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
So 500 to 300 BCE is considered the pre-classic
period of the MesoamericanEmpire, while 250 to 900 AD is
the classic.
This is important to knowbecause in the latter it was
only the nobility that performedcranial modification, whereas
during the pre-classic period itwas practiced by everyone.
This has been confirmed by thearchaeological digs.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Cranial deformation or head shaping, was started
during infancy, typically fiveto seven days after birth.
This practice was nevercomfortable.
Regardless of the method thereare two, by the way In fact it
wasn't all that uncommon forchildren to die because of the
process.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
And that's kind of, you know, jacked up, yeah, like.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Did these people just not feel anything for their
children, I guess, or I meanthey.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
It makes you wonder, right.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Yeah, like I mean, or they just, they were just so
that adamant about theirreligious gods, like we're, you
know, that's partly why they didthis, because of the Maze God
they worshiped.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Well, I guess, if you look at it from the perspective
, that well, we were trying tomake him more like the Maze God.
So technically, I guess he'sgoing to be with the Maze God
because he died in the processof making him look like him.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
But yeah, I still I'm not gonna sacrifice my kit for
something like that, right, I'ma little bit too selfish for
that nonsense.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah, no, I agree.
So it seems strange at firstthought, considering how pliable
a newborn's head is, but whenyou find out that the method, it
becomes a little more clear.
One way that you would do thiswas to bind and pad the infant's
head, adjusting as one, please,to get the desired effect.
The second one requires thechild be bound to a restricting
(14:03):
bed with a board at a 45 ishdegree at the head.
The child would have to remainthere until the allotted amount
of time.
Many of them died from what wewould call neglect.
Now that's pretty brutal.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I mean that's, that's tortures, what that is.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
It is.
It is because they couldn'tmove.
They had to stay there thewhole freaking time.
So if they survived, they had amore oblong shaped head.
But surely you're wondering ifthey were the only people
throughout history who did thisand the answer to that is they
were not.
In 2015, archaeologistsdiscovered similar skeletons
with elongated skulls in France.
Other such sites have beendiscovered all over the world
(14:45):
for decades, but for the purposeof this episode?
Let's ask the question why werethe Mayans doing it?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
One of the most prevalent theories is that the
Maya aimed the Mayans aimed toimitate the shape of an ear of
corn.
Corn or maize held immensecultural and agricultural
significance for the Mayans.
It was their primary crop andthey believed that humans were
created from maize by the gods.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
If they survived the resulting cranial deformation.
It created a distinctivelyelongated head shape that some
believe resembles an ear of corn.
This practice was believed tohelp bring the child closer to
the divine rulers.
It also indicated the noblemembers of society, as they
resembled the life-giving god ofmaize.
Compare that to needing to havethe newest Jordans or the
piercing of children's ears or aboob job.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Now is Yep boob job nowadays.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Alright, so.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Additionally, some scholars suggest that cranial
deformation could have been aform of beautification, as the
Mayans considered elongatedskulls to be more aesthetically
pleasing.
Speaking of elongated skulls inthis way, it may have been
similar to other forms of bodymodification throughout history.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Yep.
So, as we wrap things up, we'dlike to restate that the
practicing of cranialdeformation, as well as other
body modifications, was notlimited to those living in
Mesoamerica.
Each had their own uniquereasons for doing such things,
but it's important to know thathumans, since the beginning,
have always had trends.
Some lasted hundreds of years,whereas nowadays they don't last
(16:16):
more than a blink of an eye.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Yeah, and that reminds me of one of the other
cultures that they well, acouple of them.
Like some of them, they put therings around their neck to make
their leg longer.
And the one.
They put the little thing intheir lip to drop the lip or
whatever.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
The big old disc thing yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, so anyways, thank you for joining us on this
episode of Smartakastell'sHistory.
If you enjoyed this explorationof the past plus one, be sure
to subscribe for more intriguingtales from the annals of
history.
Until next time, keep seekingknowledge and embracing the rich
tapestry of human history.
And remember if it's goodenough for the god of maize,
(16:56):
it's good enough for littleTimmy.
Welcome to Smarticast .
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Tales.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
History.
Alright, enough with the Echoand Fanfare.
You're here for history, right,and not that boring crack you
learned in high school.
This stuff's actuallyinteresting, like things you've
never heard about the Civil War,cleopatra, automobiles,
monopoly, the Black Plague andmore Fascinating stories,
interesting topics and somedownright weird facts from the
(00:27):
past.
It's a new twist on somestories you may know and an
interesting look at some thingsyou may have never heard.
So grab a beer, kick back andenjoy.
Here's your host, smarticast.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Hello and welcome to this week's episode of
Smarticast Tales History.
I am your host, smarticast, andI am accompanied by my co-host,
phoenix.
Hello, today we'll be delvinginto a truly bizarre and macabre
chapter of papal history.
It's a story of power struggles, revenge and an event that can
only be described as a medievaloutcourtroom drama.
Yes, my friends, today we'retalking about the infamous trial
(01:02):
of Pope Formosus by hissuccessor, pope Stephen VI.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Let's talk about food first.
Today we've got a marinated andgrilled pork loin which
actually comes from theauthentic, delectable Vatican
recipes cookbook.
That's an actual thing folks.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Yep, it's on Amazon Kindle.
If you haven't, it was free.
If you have Kindle Unlimited,and then if not, I think it was
like five or six bucks,something like that.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Yeah, and then you too can eat the Pope's favorite
Fettuccine recipe.
It's in there.
Oh, and we also, because we'redoing a rather special episode
this week.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Just two little short stories this time, because they
were super short, so we wentahead and just combined the two.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Yes, so we're going to be talking about the
interesting practice of theMayan people in Mesoamerica of
binding their children's headsto make them look like they were
the same shape as corn.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Yep, which is bizarre , but I have seen pictures of it
previously.
Oh yeah, I didn't look at itfor this episode, but yeah, I
have seen it.
They do look bizarre.
Well, I guess it's not pictures, because they didn't have
pictures.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
No, but they've got illustrations of what it would
have looked like.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
And well, that's not true.
They do have pictures of themummies and stuff that are left
behind.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
There's actually a couple of pictures of a part of
my eat.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Yeah, this is really good.
The pork is really juicy, mygosh.
The pork is really good, by theway.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Yeah, but there are.
There are actually black andwhite pictures of some people
who were kind of like leftovers,like this guy's head was shaped
like an ear of corn and it wasan actual photograph from like
the 1800s.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
I guess some cultures still practice it some.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
They used to.
I don't think they do itanymore, though.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Yeah, I mean, I would hope not.
I mean, although I guess someindigenous tribes that are still
around, I mean they might.
Um, yeah, anyways, um, thispork loin man, this is so good.
This is probably the best porkI've ever had.
This is really good.
Um, it use.
(03:21):
What kind of wine did you usewine?
Right, yeah, what kind did youuse?
I used a Merlot.
I used a red Moscato.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Oh, I bet that's delicious.
That's the only one I have isMerlot.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah, it was really good and it's.
This recipe is super simple.
I actually had most of theingredients already.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Um yeah, it's mostly spices.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yeah, the marinade.
It called out a quarter cup ofwine red wine a quarter cup of
soy sauce, quarter cup ofunsalted ketchup, a quarter cup
of apple cider vinegar, or justcider vinegar is what said, but
I think it's all apple cidervinegar.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
No, there's regular vinegar.
That's what I used.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
It called out cider vinegar, though.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Oh sorry, I don't know.
That's a really good question.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah, um.
And and then it was, the spiceswere regular pepper.
Well, it said sweet paprika.
I used regular paprika.
Now, it was a tablespoon ofthat, yeah, one tablespoon of
that.
A teaspoon of smoked paprika, ateaspoon of ground garlic.
(04:33):
Well, it said granulatedmustard, granulated garlic, and
then also said granulatedmustard.
I used ground garlic and groundmustard.
After that's, that's probablythe same thing.
Yeah, um, and then it's calledout onion flakes, which I used
minced onion flakes.
Um, what else was there?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
I think that's it right.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
I think that is it.
Yeah, um, but I said youmarinate it.
I actually marinated mineovernight, um, it said you just
marinate for a couple of hours,but I just I did it last night
mainly because I also forgot toget the pork loin last night.
Um, I forgot to get itWednesday, um, when I did, when
I did a little bit of shopping.
So when I got home from myThanksgiving trip, um, I had to
(05:20):
go straight to Crest, which islike Dylan's or whatever.
Um, only there there are 24hours, Um, and I had to grab two
pork loins, um, cause I madetwo of these Nice, uh, and then
I totally forgot about the corn,like I told you earlier.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I think I can corn guys, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah, I have an area, I do have an ear of corn, um,
but I had to go to DollarGeneral this morning and go grab
, go grab one, cause Icompletely forgot about the corn
.
Oh, that's good.
You, uh, you grilled the porkloin, it said, for about 35 to
45 minutes on medium heat on thegrill.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
I did mine the oven.
I just stuck it in there at 400for about 30, five minutes.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, it took me about an hour on the grill, not
quite 35 to 45 minutes.
Yeah, it's saying.
It said they'll only get it to145 temperature roughly.
So that's what I did.
I have a, you know, I have afancy thermometer that I put on
there we do too.
It was about 145 and, and Ithink the other one like said I
made two of them.
(06:22):
The other one was like 155 orsomething.
I was like that's good enough.
Yeah, oh, and that's it.
I mean it was super simple andit is.
This is really good.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Very delicious yeah uh-huh for sure.
Well, now that we're donetalking about food, let me set
the stage for the first part ofour episode.
It's the ninth century and thepapal office is a hot seat for
political intrigue andecclesiastical power struggles.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
The church at this time wielded immense authority
over Europe, and the papacy wasa position of both spiritual and
political significance.
However, even with all of itsboastful power, it still had
political parties manipulating agreat deal.
And Then there's Pope Stephenthe sixth, who ascended to the
papal throne in 896 afterFormosus's death.
Stephen the sixth, under thegreat influence of the ruling
(07:17):
Spoleto aristocratic family, hada bone to pick with his
predecessor, and not justmetaphorically.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
The last figure influencing this story was the
aristocratic family thatSmarticus mentioned.
Thanks largely to Pope Stephenthe sixth.
The reluctant Duke of Spoletonamed Guy the third was crowned
as the Holy Roman Emperor.
No joke, this family was fullof people named Lambert and Guy
and all related by just a couplegenerations to the Charlemagne
(07:45):
Guy the third son.
You guessed it, lambert had alot of influence on his distant
cousin Stephen the sixth.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Now the story begins.
Pope Formosus Made waves withhis controversial endorsement
for Emperor, among other things,during his five years on the
papal throne.
Not that it was that acharacter for him, as he had
been getting in trouble withother factions in the church
four years before he was madePope.
One thing he wanted to undothat his predecessor had put
into action was the co-emperorship held by Guy the second and
(08:13):
his son, lambert From the rulingSpoleto family.
He wanted to remove the powerthat the family had in Rome, so
he asked King Arnolf of EastFranks to invade Italy while
crowning Arnolf as emperor.
This, however, went nowhere, asArnolf suffered from the war
and the death of Arnolfparalysis and had to return home
before his invasion could takeplace.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
To make matters worse , in April of 896, pope Formosus
died and the whole issue wasleft unresolved.
The papal hat then went toBoniface VI, who had it for
about two weeks before he eitherdied of the gout or was
murdered by Stephen VI.
Stephen jumped into the hotseat fully intending to make a
difference.
Supporting his cousin Lambertand the spallettian faction
(08:55):
adamantly made him easilysusceptible to encouragement,
but he did, after becoming Pope,set him apart in a way that not
only horrified the church butthe countries that followed the
religion during the time, aswell as those millennia after.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
In a move that would make a modern day courtroom
drama pale in comparison, popeStephen VI decided to put the
dead Pope Formosus on trial.
Yes, you heard that correctly atrial of a deceased pope.
But why, you might ask?
The Catholic Encyclopedia saysand this is a quote whether
induced by evil passion orperhaps more probably compelled
by the emperor Lambert and hismother, agil Truda.
(09:31):
Whatever it was, stephen VI,backed by a group of influential
clerics and his cousin, wantedto discredit Formosus and the
actions he had taken during hispapacy.
They accused Formosus of alaundry list of offenses,
including perjury, violatingchurch laws and, most bizarrely,
seeking the papacy illegally.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Ignoring entirely the fact that he was guilty of the
little matter known as corpsedesecration.
But it doesn't stop there,folks.
To make this trial even more,macabre, Pope Stephen VI ordered
Formosus's body to not only beexhumed from its tomb but
dressed in papal vestments.
The corpse was then propped upin court and a deacon was
appointed to serve as Formosus'slegal counsel and mouthpiece,
(10:13):
just to make things seemlegitimate.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
The trial itself was a spectacle of absurdity that
disgusted and traumatized theunwitting clergy who were forced
to be the jury for the trial.
The deceased Formosus was foundguilty on all charges, his
papacy declared null and voidand his papal vestments were
torn from his lifeless body.
To add insult to injury, two ofhis fingers those used for
blessing were severed and hisbody were unceremoniously tossed
(10:40):
into the Tiber River.
Yeah, wow oh yeah, that'spretty brutal.
I mean not that he cares, he'salready dead.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Right well, empty house.
Anyone wondering what theaftermath of this bizarre trial
was Well, it didn't exactly goover well with the masses was
eventually overthrown,imprisoned and given a sentence
of strangulation.
Isn't that lovely, wow, yeah.
Some years later, during the20-day tenure of Pope Theodore
(11:12):
II, formosus was reinstated andhad his body that was eventually
recovered from the Tiber,reburied in St Peter's Basilica
and the Vatican City.
The Catholic Church, known forits long memory, eventually
decided that trying dead popeswasn't a good look, and so have
insisted that it never happenagain.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
There you have it, dear listeners the tale of Pope
Stephen VI and the posthumoustrial of Pope Formosus, a story
that leaves us feeling kind ofsecondhand embarrassment and
revulsion.
But we are not done yet.
As we said, we have.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
You get a two for one .
Speaker 2 (11:48):
You'd get a two for one.
That's right.
So the second story we weretalking about today, like we
mentioned, is an intriguing yetenigmatic practice of head
shaping among the ancient Mayans.
Specifically, we'll explore thenotion that they sought to make
their children's heads resembleears of corn.
Strap in, because this is goingto be quite the journey A short
journey, but a journey.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Right, but there's no crystal skulls, so sorry, Indy.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
So 500 to 300 BCE is considered the pre-classic
period of the MesoamericanEmpire, while 250 to 900 AD is
the classic.
This is important to knowbecause in the latter it was
only the nobility that performedcranial modification, whereas
during the pre-classic period itwas practiced by everyone.
This has been confirmed by thearchaeological digs.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Cranial deformation or head shaping, was started
during infancy, typically fiveto seven days after birth.
This practice was nevercomfortable.
Regardless of the method thereare two, by the way In fact it
wasn't all that uncommon forchildren to die because of the
process.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
And that's kind of, you know, jacked up, yeah, like.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Did these people just not feel anything for their
children, I guess, or I meanthey.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
It makes you wonder, right.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Yeah, like I mean, or they just, they were just so
that adamant about theirreligious gods, like we're, you
know, that's partly why they didthis, because of the Maze God
they worshiped.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Well, I guess, if you look at it from the perspective
, that well, we were trying tomake him more like the Maze God.
So technically, I guess he'sgoing to be with the Maze God
because he died in the processof making him look like him.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
But yeah, I still I'm not gonna sacrifice my kit for
something like that, right, I'ma little bit too selfish for
that nonsense.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah, no, I agree.
So it seems strange at firstthought, considering how pliable
a newborn's head is, but whenyou find out that the method, it
becomes a little more clear.
One way that you would do thiswas to bind and pad the infant's
head, adjusting as one, please,to get the desired effect.
The second one requires thechild be bound to a restricting
(14:03):
bed with a board at a 45 ishdegree at the head.
The child would have to remainthere until the allotted amount
of time.
Many of them died from what wewould call neglect.
Now that's pretty brutal.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I mean that's, that's tortures, what that is.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
It is.
It is because they couldn'tmove.
They had to stay there thewhole freaking time.
So if they survived, they had amore oblong shaped head.
But surely you're wondering ifthey were the only people
throughout history who did thisand the answer to that is they
were not.
In 2015, archaeologistsdiscovered similar skeletons
with elongated skulls in France.
Other such sites have beendiscovered all over the world
(14:45):
for decades, but for the purposeof this episode?
Let's ask the question why werethe Mayans doing it?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
One of the most prevalent theories is that the
Maya aimed the Mayans aimed toimitate the shape of an ear of
corn.
Corn or maize held immensecultural and agricultural
significance for the Mayans.
It was their primary crop andthey believed that humans were
created from maize by the gods.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
If they survived the resulting cranial deformation.
It created a distinctivelyelongated head shape that some
believe resembles an ear of corn.
This practice was believed tohelp bring the child closer to
the divine rulers.
It also indicated the noblemembers of society, as they
resembled the life-giving god ofmaize.
Compare that to needing to havethe newest Jordans or the
piercing of children's ears or aboob job.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Now is Yep boob job nowadays.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Alright, so.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Additionally, some scholars suggest that cranial
deformation could have been aform of beautification, as the
Mayans considered elongatedskulls to be more aesthetically
pleasing.
Speaking of elongated skulls inthis way, it may have been
similar to other forms of bodymodification throughout history.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Yep.
So, as we wrap things up, we'dlike to restate that the
practicing of cranialdeformation, as well as other
body modifications, was notlimited to those living in
Mesoamerica.
Each had their own uniquereasons for doing such things,
but it's important to know thathumans, since the beginning,
have always had trends.
Some lasted hundreds of years,whereas nowadays they don't last
(16:16):
more than a blink of an eye.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Yeah, and that reminds me of one of the other
cultures that they well, acouple of them.
Like some of them, they put therings around their neck to make
their leg longer.
And the one.
They put the little thing intheir lip to drop the lip or
whatever.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
The big old disc thing yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, so anyways, thank you for joining us on this
episode of Smartakastell'sHistory.
If you enjoyed this explorationof the past plus one, be sure
to subscribe for more intriguingtales from the annals of
history.
Until next time, keep seekingknowledge and embracing the rich
tapestry of human history.
And remember if it's goodenough for the god of maize,
(16:56):
it's good enough for littleTimmy.
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