Sending Care - Learning Kindness

An annual tradition is about to happen at Rawson Elementary School, and that’s why third-grade teacher Bill Gaynor has student art collected from the entire year in every corner of his classroom.

Soon that artwork will be gently placed into a box, wrapped with care by students, police officers, firefighters, and other volunteers, and delivered with notes of care and encouragement to area cancer patients urging them to keep their spirits up and fight the Cancer Bully.

On this episode, we’ll hear from Mr. Gaynor about the cancer box project and talk a little bit about his career as an educator and who his students are – a fitting tribute during Teacher Appreciation Week.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to the SMWay Podcast. I'm your host, Daniel Bader.

(00:08):
An annual tradition is about to happen at Rossin Elementary School. And that's why
third grade teacher, Bill Gaynor, has student art collected from the entire year, tucked
in every corner of his classroom. Soon, that artwork will be gently placed into a box,
wrapped with care by students, police officers, firefighters, and other volunteers, and delivered

(00:31):
with notes of care and encouragement to area cancer patients, urging them to keep their
spirits up and fight the cancer bully. In this episode, we'll hear from Mr. Gaynor
about the Cancer Box Project and talk a little bit about his career as an educator and who
his students are. A fitting tribute during Teacher Appreciation Week.

(00:58):
So joining me today is third grade teacher, Bill Gaynor. Bill, thanks for being here.
You're welcome. So you have a special project coming up with your students. Can you tell
me what it is? It's called the Cancer Box Project, and we make cancer boxes for patients
who are going through a tough time. How did that get started?
A friend of mine, his mom, kind of like my second mom everybody has that they always

(01:23):
hang out with at their house all the time, she got cancer. So I wanted to do something
nice for her, and we made a banner and some things for her to hang up in her house. And
that's morphed into, over the years, a cancer box that is now made and given to clinics
where they can give to cancer patients. And when was that?

(01:48):
About eight years ago. This is my eighth year, I do believe, or my ninth year. And I have
done, this will be, after this year, we'll have 240 boxes that have been given out.
And what's actually in the boxes? Okay. In November, we make a turkey. I give them
a paper and I say, make your turkey. Whatever size turns out, that's what turns out. And

(02:12):
December I made an ornament where they put paint on the inside and they turn it and then
it looks really nice. And they write on the outside, they write notes. January we make
a snowman, a really cool snowman. They love it. And February we make a happy little heart
dancer and write a letter to them. And we make a leprechaun in March and we write a

(02:34):
letter to them. And we make a tile. We paint the tile and it becomes a trivet for them
to put stuff on. And our final was our, April we made a windsock where they can hang up
in their house and it's got streamers and it's a bunny, something like that.

(02:54):
So it's cumulative through the whole year. So how do you explain to the kids what you're
doing way back in the beginning of the year? I show them the video, now I show them the
video of, that was done on the news and on Facebook I show them the whole video of how
it all got started. And then we start with our SM way, kind of character traits. And

(03:15):
we pick a character traits that we have and we tie them into each activity that we do
throughout the year. Cancer can be a really heavy topic and you
have nine, ten year olds. How do you talk to them about that?
Unfortunately every year they talk about it because somebody has an aunt or a parent or

(03:40):
a grandparent or things like that. So unfortunately every year I have never had to explain it
because I had a kid explain it to them. They talk about what happens and how hard it is.
So and then is it, you know, hey kids we're doing a project for our end of year boxes.
How do you talk about that? Every year we start off with the reason why

(04:06):
we make the box. And then we make the first activity, it's the letter telling them to
beat that cancer bully. That's the very first thing we do and they draw a picture and I
save them. So cancer bully, where did that come from?
It just came out from, because cancer is a bully, it just came out from doing these boxes.
And after the second or third year one of the kids said, yeah that cancer is a bully.

(04:29):
I'm like hey, that's a pretty good idea. Let's beat that cancer bully. And every time, every
year that's what we've been putting in ever since.
What are some of the things the kids write? I make a letter and they can copy my letter
or they can write their own. And when they write their own they talk about their aunt
or they talk about, I've had kids talk about their friends who've had cancer or their

(04:52):
friends' parents and stuff like that. And they tell them to beat that cancer bully.
They tell them keep fighting, don't give up. And those are some of the things that we talk
about and they kind of use those in their letters.
Since it's kind of woven through the year, those kind of messages about sound applicable
to children too, don't give up, keep working, get over, get past this. How do you incorporate

(05:19):
that into the classroom?
We talk about perseverance a lot. And kids struggle and I always say, it's kind of funny
where now I say give up and they go no! And that's what it's become now is they don't
give up. And with the mindset of I haven't done this yet, they changed that fixed mindset

(05:41):
to a growth mindset through this whole project and this whole, through the school year. And
we use those and the perseverance struggles to say you guys struggle with that.
They're struggling with cancer. And I had a lady come in, in one of the videos, the
lady who got a project or a box came in, in Thanksgiving one year and she came in and

(06:04):
talked to my kids about it and what she was going through. So it's come full circle with
those things and these kids really, really, really, I mean some of them get it right away,
some of them get it throughout the time, you know. But when you connect it to their struggles
and their perseverance, they get it.
So you take all those art projects and then this time of year, in spring, you package

(06:27):
them up and send them, right? Where do you send them?
Well, I package them up, but I don't do it by myself. I invite, South Milwaukee Police
has been in here, South Milwaukee Firefighters have been in here, the school liaison officers,
school board members, the mayor's been in here and we wrap them all up together and
we write letters on them and write notes, keep fighting and all that. And I gave them

(06:49):
to the South Milwaukee Clinic, Cancer Care Clinic in Cudahy, right on the border down
there. I've given them to Fraderick. My nephew was an oncologist resident there. He is now
an oncologist doctor out in Waukesha, so I've given them to him there. I've given them to
St. Luke's Heart Care Clinic. That was one of the first early ones I gave them to. I

(07:14):
give them to clinics and they give them out to patients. This year, I thought about changing
it up. I have lots of kids who, some kids who say that they're ants, so I give them
their box to give to them. But I've thought about reaching out to school staff members,
anybody in the school system who has someone who would like this box. And first come first

(07:37):
serve, I only have 26 of them, but I'd be willing to give some of them to, that's where
I thought I would go this year. How do you make those connections with the clinics and
stuff? Do you just call them up? I have the one where the Paula Pauly came here, that
clinic got hers because I just look around and that one I found in searching in the internet.

(08:02):
And I called them up, told them my whole project. She sent me her email, I sent her a video
about it and she said, yeah, please send it. So I did. My nephew obviously, the oncologist,
I just gave it to him. And then I've just called cancer directors, directors of cancer
care clinics and I emailed them and called them and that's kind of how I give them out.

(08:26):
Do you ever get notes back? If you take a look on that wall over there, those are notes
and stapled are emails. And when I get notes back, the kids are in fourth grade when I
get them back because I get them in the summer and they put them in my mailbox. And when
I get them, I go to the fourth grade and I open them up and I show them the card. And

(08:47):
then if I get an email, I take my computer to fourth grade, show them the email and I
let them respond back to the person as a closure, full circle closure. And they really seem
to like that. And so that tells them that their character matters and what they did
really matters. And then they know somebody got their box and really appreciated it. And

(09:07):
it makes a big difference. What do the messages say? Do they all follow along online or? They
say, thank you for your support. Some of them tell that they're having this tough time and
what kind of cancer they're having. Others say, I, while I was blown away by this gesture
of kindness, thank you so much. And, and you know, that's basically what they're just so

(09:30):
blown away from somebody just doing something for them like that when they didn't even think
about it. So do you want to read one of the cards for me? Sure. Yeah. This guy was a teacher.

(09:55):
So this was a card I got. They send me cards and then they put notes in them and it says,
dear Mr. Gaynor and second grade students, you cannot know what a pleasure it was to
receive your box filled with your beautiful artwork, a wonderful letter, gifts of extraordinary
picture of the children who worked on this project. All of you definitely know the SM way
characteristics. Well, you made my day. I want you to know that I'm now cancer free

(10:20):
and I'm on a rehab unit working hard to get my legs and my arms strong again. It has been
a long journey, but I'm very thankful that I'm not on this road to go home. I'm on the
road to going home again to my family and friends. I will always remember the kindness
that you showed me when I was in the heart, my hard place, the lessons that you learned
making the boxes are things that will stay with you for a lifetime. You should be very

(10:42):
proud of your generosity to the patients. I hope you find, uh, have a fun and safe summer
vacation. Don't forget to keep reading, doing your summer break and thanks again for your
kindness. God bless you all gratefully and a bruise. That was a teacher. No, that wasn't
the teacher. Oh, cause this is sounded like a teacher at the reading. This one is a teacher.

(11:02):
Thank you. Thanks all who are involved with this project. It raised the spirits of this
old man and the nurses who worked with me. I'll never forget your kindness. And his name
was Ken Piero. Yeah, I see. He included a picture too. Um, talk a little deeper about
how children seeing an effect that they can have in the world matters to them. It makes

(11:27):
a difference because if you think about the change that they're doing now and the change,
the little change that they make here, it leads to bigger change in the, out in the
world and they have the power to make the change. And if they do this little act, big
act of kindness now, um, with all the little pieces that they put in, think of what they

(11:49):
could accomplish out there with their acts of kindness and all of the things that they
could do for people, anybody, their neighbor, their coworker, their boss, who's having
a tough time. All those acts of kindness that they're doing now make them who they are and
they can do that later on and they do it because they love it. So thinking through it, um,

(12:12):
eight years, so some of those kids are graduated and, and, or starting, you know, they're in
high school now. Um, think, think back a little bit to those eight years. How has it changed
you? Uh, I'd have to say it makes me continue to do this project. I think I won't ever stop

(12:39):
until I retire. I won't stop doing this project because it makes a huge difference knowing
that I am showing these guys how to make a difference in somebody else's life. And by
this simple little task of making a letter in an art project, just something little,
they don't have to know how to do a lot of things. I will continue to do this project

(13:01):
because it lets them understand that they can make a huge difference by some little
small act. And that's what gets me every day or every time I do this project.
So as an educator, it's yours, your focus is on the kids and how about that impact in
the community though? Cause now you've, if 240 different patients have gotten something

(13:23):
from you.
Well in the first second year, when I was down in second grade, a man came back and
he came into my classroom cause he got one of the bags that at St. Luke's and he wanted
to give back because he thought, now this is a South Milwaukee resident, and he came

(13:45):
back and brought markers and crayons and paper and colored cards, everything he could think
of that would let my kids be able to supplies for another box. He came back and he read
the letters. He had two letters, one from a second grader and one from a fifth grader
and both of them were there and both of them were crying and they gave hugs to him and
everything. So that was one of the best connections I've ever seen besides Paula Pauley coming

(14:10):
to my house here or my school. And then I went into Culver's and Paula Pauley's niece
works at Culver's in Oak Creek and she goes, Hey Mr. Gaynor, you remember me? And I said,
yeah. And her, Paula Pauley's, her mom was Paula Pauley's sister. So she just kept talking

(14:31):
about how she remembered the day when I gave that box to her and how her mom, her aunt
always talked about it. So that connection with those two community catches, I know there's
more. I know there's people that whoever got them, I know my nephew raves about every time
they give a box to somebody at his oncology lab. They rave about the boxes. They love
it because it brings their spirits up. So now I've met that community connection. And

(14:57):
it's just, I don't know, it's just turned out to be something that I never ever thought
would go this far. And I will continue to do it and my kids will continue to do it and
will continue to support it through the SM way and tie those character traits into it,
kindness. There's a lot of kindness with these kids when they're doing it. And there's a

(15:18):
lot of caring and I mean, it's just a great project. And it's something that I never thought
would have come so far. And every time I think about it, every time my nephew talks about
it, he says, my sister, they've seen those boxes given to people and they're just awed
at the result of what this little act of kindness that these kids can make and do.

(15:41):
So I introduced you to third grade teacher, but obviously you've taught other grades,
right? Is that why they say first grade, second grade, other things?
I taught second grade here at Rossin for eight or nine years. But I started here in third
and then went down to second and then I went back. And when I was, when my friend's mom
was going through that, that was when I was in second grade. And we just continued, I

(16:03):
just continued to keep going.
So you're in third grade now. Tell me what a third grader is. Who is a third grader?
You know, a third grader is a kid who is learning to read, reading to learn, and they're finding
their way. And just like any kid, they're finding their way with their friends and they're

(16:27):
figuring out when you put them in situations, they're figuring out where they can go, how
they can get there and what they can do, what they know and what they need help with. And
they rely on me and then I teach them to rely on their friends and other people in the class
because I'm not always going to be with them. And they're learning a lot of life lessons

(16:49):
in the classroom.
So practicing generosity and kindness and respect and the other SM way traits, generosity
was on the list. It's in there with kindness. But I guess you practice, you get better at
what you're doing.
Well, tomorrow we were supposed to, hopefully it won't rain. Tomorrow we go outside with

(17:10):
our K-4 buddies. And tomorrow is K, our kindness day. So we're going to go do kindness stuff
with chalk with our K-4 buddies and we're going to spend time with them outside on the
sidewalk. Little things like that. And being a role model for the younger kids, I tell
them whatever you guys do, they're going to follow you. And so when you put them in that

(17:30):
situation, they always rise to the challenge. And that's what we're doing for tomorrow,
for kindness.
But you know, even cleaning up the classroom at the end of the day, being kind, picking
up your area, leaving it so that somebody can come in and vacuum and not have to pick
everything up first before they vacuum. Stuff like that. Just little pieces of kindness,
helping your friend out. Being nice, kind words. Oh, that was great, thank you. Just

(17:55):
like that.
So we're getting close to the end of the year. You mentioned the alphabet because we're counting
down the days with the days of the alphabet. And it's also Teacher Appreciation Week. I'm
wondering if you could talk and share with our listeners a little bit about the connection
that you've had with these kids now that the year is wrapping up. And how many, and you've

(18:17):
gone through that your whole career, I imagine.
You know, I found that every year, having connections and relationships with kids is
the biggest success you could do as a teacher. If you know your kids and you know them really
well, when they have a bad day, you can approach them and ask them, you're kind of, I see you're

(18:40):
having a tough time. Or, wow, you're looking awesome today, what did you do? When you know
your kids, when they leave me and they go to fourth grade and fifth grade and so on,
they still come back to me and say hi. Always. I have kids who come back to me in the hallway
say hi, I have kids who give me hugs, I have kids who just overall say hi to me every day.

(19:03):
But they're older, or the kids that I haven't had, they know who I am. It's that relationship
you have with, and that builds on what kind of personality you have. These kids are fantastic
kids. They're doing a lot of great things. And I can't wait to see the little ones come
up in third grade and get to be on the third grade on the top floor for the first time.

(19:29):
It's a big deal. But they are a great bunch of kids, and they have a lot to offer the
world. All it takes is for somebody to give them a chance. And when you get to know them
and you give them a chance, they're going to soar. And every year they come back to
me and say hi to me. I see their older brothers and sisters picking up their brothers and
sisters on the playground, middle schoolers come by, hey Mr. G, how you doing? Every day.

(19:56):
But if you put that relationship into it, you get everything else out of it.
That's a great place to leave it. Mr. Gaynor, thanks for taking the time today to talk to
us and share about the Cancer Box.
Thanks for coming. Have a great day.

(20:17):
Thanks for listening to today's podcast. And thank you to Mr. Gaynor for inviting me to
his classroom to share about that project. He expects in the next couple weeks to have
everyone over to do the box packing. Hopefully we'll be able to have some coverage from that
and share it on our websites. Again, this is yes, my podcast. Thank you for listening.