Episode Transcript
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Matthew West (00:00):
Sometimes it takes your life coming to a screeching halt
to really kind of come back to what really matters
in life.
Ally Domercant (00:06):
Welcome to the Snapshot Testimony podcast. I'm your host, Ally Domercant.
In this podcast, I ask my guests to share one
pivotal moment that helped shape their faith in Christ. In
this episode, you'll hear from Christian music recording artist Matthew West.
He's a five time Grammy nominee with 30 number one
songs and counting. But at the height of his success
(00:27):
in the industry, a doctor told him he may never
be able to sing again due to severe injury to
his vocal cords. What followed was a season of wrestling
with fear and doubt, his own sense of purpose and identity.
It was a season of silence that redefined how he
viewed his calling as a musician. Here's a snapshot testimony
from Matthew West.
Matthew West (00:55):
This was taking place very right as my music career
was starting to hit like a fever pitch, dreams were
coming true after years of hard work, uh, songs on
the radio, um, all of my striving and pursuits of, uh,
of a successful music career were we're starting to come
(01:18):
to fruition. And, uh, all of a sudden I found
myself unable to sing or even speak. I had, um,
hemorrhaged my vocal cords and done some severe damage, and
the doctors told me they thought perhaps I had sung
my last song. And so this surgery was in an
effort to kind of repair the damaged vocal cords and
(01:39):
then wait and see for a couple of months to
see how the vocal cords healed and what my voice
sounded like after the fact. So. So I think when
I think of pivotal snapshots in my life, I think
of that moment. I picture my mom and my dad
standing there by my bed, getting ready to pray with me.
I picture my dad leading us in a prayer and
(02:01):
quoting Philippians 413, and a reminder of God's strength when
ours is gone. And and I picture, uh, what took
place after that? Just, um, I call it my season
of silence because it was, um, weeks and weeks of
being unable to speak, being, um, put, you know, kind
(02:22):
of on pause. Every pursuit I ever had, getting a
dry erase board put in my hands and using that
to communicate to my wife and my baby girl at
the time, kind of looking at dad like, why isn't
dad talking and singing like he normally does? And yeah,
so I think of just and most importantly, I think
of how God met me. You know, when I think
(02:43):
of that snapshot snapshot in my life, I think about
Psalm 4610 and, and the reminder to be still and
know that he is God and how another translation really
shaped me and stuck out to me. It says cease
striving and just how God brought me back to this
place of you know that his love for me is
(03:03):
not based on my performance, uh, that my my success
in music does not define my success as a human being. And, um,
and really just how often I've gotten it twisted that
I've lived as if I'm a human doing. And what
I do is going to determine, you know, where I
stand in life and, um, in God's kingdom, it's it's
(03:28):
not like that. And so coming back to the the
humble realization of what does it look like just to
be a human being, to be someone who's just deeply
and endlessly loved without condition by a God who made me,
whether I can sing a pretty song or write a
hit or not, um, just to rest in my identity,
that really matters. And that's as God's beloved child. So
(03:51):
sometimes it takes your life coming to a screeching halt to, um,
to really kind of come back to what really matters
in life. So, you know, I guess it's kind of fitting.
And I bet a lot of people you ask for
pivotal moments or snapshots, they might point to a trial
in their life. You know, the things that we wish
never happened in our stories. Um, I've come to look
(04:11):
at those now as like, we always talk about the
best things that ever happened to us. Right now, I
think about it like sometimes the best thing is the
worst thing. And, uh, and God gets our attention in
a powerful way. And he certainly got mine.
Ally Domercant (04:24):
Yeah.
When you remember that, what was your greatest fear at
the time? I mean, and I'm sure there were layers
to that because the first layer is, what if I don't?
Sing again. What if I don't speak again? But I'm
sure if, as you peel back, there was a like
fear attached to each one of those things, you get
(04:45):
what I'm saying? Like what? What did that represent to you?
Matthew West (04:49):
Yeah, there's fear attached to every what if question. Um,
because it highlights our inability to know the unknown, to know,
you know, um, there's only one Alpha and omega, the
beginning and the end. And he can see the whole
story even as we're in the midst of the unknown
chapters of ours. Right. And, uh, you know, so I
think one of the big what ifs was, what if
(05:11):
I lose my dream? You know, I thought this was
what God called me to do. And, uh, you know,
I remember I had just started dating. Uh, dating this girl, Emily, who, uh,
20 years later, is is my my bride of 20 years.
But she told me there was a moment where she
was faced in her own what if. And I was, um,
(05:32):
you know, she was kind of thinking, wow, this. I'm
married to somebody who might lose his dream. And people
who lose their dreams can get pretty grumpy in life,
you know, and just. And so she was praying and
supporting me through all that as well. But you know what?
If I lose my dream? What if I've sung my
last song? Um. What if there's nothing else that I do? Well,
(05:54):
you know, I mean, I think that's the hard part too,
is when you find something that you excel in, you
just assume you'll always have that to fall back on. And,
you know, I remember making a list of other potential
careers that I could have. Really?
Ally Domercant (06:07):
What was on the list.
Matthew West (06:08):
I think janitor was on the list. And, uh, and
that was kind of it, you know, I was like,
all right, that's it. I'm I'm gonna clean. I'm gonna
clean toilets for a living. That's what I'm going to do.
So I think there's just a there was so much
fear about that because I had and I think the
most extreme parts of the fear really highlighted the fact
that I had put so much weight and emphasis on
(06:31):
my identity as a singer and songwriter without realizing it.
When that foundation, it's just like the story of the,
you know, the wise man building his house upon the rock.
You know, when when you take that story from Scripture
and apply it to how much we build our lives
on the sand of our, you know, how the world
sees us and, you know, you know, kind of that
(06:54):
I don't want to say that false identity because there's
so many good things when you step into the calling
God has for you. Um, but at the same time,
like putting your all of your weight on like, I'm
a singer, I'm a songwriter. I'm known for that. Well,
when you're not known for that, you can start to
feel lost at sea in a hurry. And, um, I
think those were some of my what ifs. Yeah.
Ally Domercant (07:13):
And as you had the this was a months, weeks
and months of of determining is my voice going to
come back. Is it going to be the same, uh,
what did those first moments look like where you started
to utter a couple words and then tried out, can
I can I try to make my voice sing again?
What was that like?
Matthew West (07:34):
Yeah, it I'll never forget. It was literally like I
was on like a word count. Um, like like there was, like.
Ally Domercant (07:41):
On word doc where you're like, huh? There's 55 words here.
Matthew West (07:45):
Well, where the doctor would literally be like, you can
say ten words today. Wow. And then tomorrow we're going
to move it up. It was like, I mean, it
was that calculated, okay. Because I had to be that careful.
And I think the doctor knew that it had to
be that calculated because, you know, I'm somebody who doesn't stop, like, I'll,
I would have flown to full speed again if not, uh,
(08:10):
you know, kind of having the governor put on me
like you would on a car, like, like having a
having it be throttled. And, um, I felt literally like,
I've got to choose my words wisely today, so carefully. And, uh,
I mean, what a great lesson for life, too, but, um,
but so that was, you know, there was just so, uh,
I felt like every word had to be taken carefully.
(08:31):
I had to keep I had to count my words
the way that I do when I'm writing a chapter
in my book. You know, what's my word count? And
I just I kind of felt like a, like being,
like I was treated like a baby. Like I was
having to go back to baby steps, like relearning this
thing that I thought I had mastered, which was the
spoken word. You know? I mean, they talk about the
theory of 10,000 hours. I spent my 10,000 hours developing
(08:54):
my skill as a communicator so that I could do
a podcast like this and get a point across. Succinctly,
I spent my 10,000 hours learning how to tell a
story in the form of a three minute song. I've
spent my 10,000 hours learning how to stand up on
stage and and vocally just deliver that song. And what
I think is a powerful way that would make people applaud. Right.
And here I was now going, okay, now it's like
(09:16):
little baby steps, right? Like ten words today, 20 words tomorrow.
And so I'll never forget when when she said, all right,
take it for a spin, go into the studio. And
I was going into record. I'll never forget the song
even it was a song called You Are Everything. And
I was scared to death to let it loose because
I was afraid. I was going to make.
(09:37):
It hold up.
Again. You know what I mean? I was scared, and
the producer was like, you know, noticing I wasn't coming
with the same fire, you know? And he's like, are
you good? I'm like, I don't know. I'm scared, I
don't know, I'm scared to go for the high note
because what's going to happen? So, uh, you know, it
really brought me to a new place of trust and
dependence because I just I had nothing else to to
(10:00):
rely on. It was like, okay, Lord, this might be
my last song, you know? Right. And what's what's crazy
is even today, as I talk to you, you know,
I'm in Amarillo, Texas, and I'm going to go on
stage tonight and there is at least one moment in
every concert where the thought pops into my brain, this
could be your last song. Would you be would you
(10:22):
be proud of this message being the last one that
you sent out to the world? You know, and in
a weird way, that sounds maybe like a depressing thought,
but in an even truer sense, I think it's an
inspirational one. And, you know what? The heart of what's
at the heart of that is? You better believe I
don't take this for granted anymore. Even the chance to
(10:42):
talk to you today. Like thank you. Thanks for letting
me share my story. Right? Because I get the chance
to do something that I wasn't sure I would be
able to do. And yeah, and so this that means
this matters. That means that God healed my voice for
this moment so that I could share with you so
that somebody else might be encouraged when they're in a
difficult snapshot of their own story. Yeah.
Ally Domercant (11:03):
And so you kind of answered it, but your music
must have changed after that experience. I mean, obviously you're
writing about the goodness of God, but your your songs
are often very personal and very reflective. Uh, how much
of what you had gone through, what you almost lost
it changed your music?
Matthew West (11:25):
I think, you know.
There's a there's an overtone or an undertone of urgency
in my songs. Um, you can hear it in songs
like I Don't Want to Go Through the Motions. I
don't want to go one more day. Right? I don't
want to spend my whole life asking, what if I
had given everything instead of going through the motions? That
song came out, uh, right after I recovered from vocal
(11:48):
cord surgery. Or I think about songs like I'm going
all in head first into the deep End this Time,
The Fear, I Hear You Calling, and this time the
fear won't win. I'm going all in. Right. These anthems or, uh,
what if today is the only day I got? I
don't want to waste it if it's my last shot.
No regrets in the end, I want to know I
(12:10):
got no what ifs, right. So you'll see these, like,
that's kind of, uh. I think Billy Graham once said
that every evangelist really only has three sermons. They just
give it different titles, you know? But they keep coming
back to these three different things. Right. And and so
you'll see that in my music a lot. And I
can't help but think a lot of that comes back
to that season of my life of just this increased
(12:34):
sense of urgency, of going, all right, I want to sing,
and I want to write every song as if it
could be the last one that I write. I think
a lot about legacy. You know, my story, your glory,
my pain, your purpose, my mess, your message in all things.
I know you're working one life, one mission, one reason
why I'm living all for you, not for me. My story,
(12:58):
your glory. Like these are all, like, drenched in, like
real life. These are drenched in moments where a dream
slipped out of your hands. And you learned a new
appreciation and an understanding that I'm not here for me.
I'm here for a greater purpose. So, Lord, yeah. Do
with my voice. Do with my story. What? What you will. Um.
(13:19):
Learning to pray like the Lord's Prayer. Your will be
done right on earth as it is in heaven.
So, yeah.
Ally Domercant (13:26):
You mentioned my story, Your Glory, which is the title
of a devotional that you you've got coming out and, and.
Matthew West (13:32):
Product placement. Should I just.
Ally Domercant (13:34):
There you go.
Matthew West (13:35):
That's good. Is that.
Ally Domercant (13:36):
For our. That's totally fine for our YouTube. For our YouTube, uh, watchers.
You'll see it for our audio listeners. He's holding up
a copy of.
My Story Your Glory. Over his shoulder.
I love it. You gotta have it at the ready.
But you want to help other people kind of capture
their own story, maybe even moments that they didn't realize
that they've had.
Matthew West (13:57):
Yeah, every. It's a 30 day devotional, and every chapter
is kind of rooted in this. Um, what would it
be like to pray like David prayed and say, Lord,
search me. You know, show me how you want me
to live. Reveal any unclean way in me. Like basically
inviting God. Think of this like, a lot of times
(14:19):
I'm guilty of inviting God into certain chapters of my story. Mhm.
But what if I invited him into the whole book?
I mean, after all, he is the author of all stories, right?
How many times have we been guilty of taking the
pen out of God's hands and saying, God, I got
this one today and we don't realize we're doing it right?
(14:39):
Let's say it, but we live like it.
As a follower of Christ, I mean, we'd probably all say, yeah,
I want to live a life of surrender, and I
want the true author of my story to be the
one who's got the pen in his hands. But sometimes,
without knowing it, we step into control and we step
into freak out mode. And we, you know, we take
the pen out of God's hands. And so this book
was really every day for 30 days. It's examining different
(15:03):
parts of our story and saying, God, how could this
part of my story be for your glory? And that's
the beauty of the stories of our lives. When we
know who the real author is, we know not a
single word. And here we are talking about words again.
Not a single word is wasted when we place our
stories in the hands of its rightful author.
Ally Domercant (15:23):
For more on his books and music and upcoming tour dates,
head to Matthew West.com. Snapshot. Testimony is a moody radio podcast.
If you like what you're hearing, please leave a review.
I may share it on the next episode. I'm your host,
Ally Domercant , and together we're sharing the moments that shape
a life of faith in Christ. Thanks for listening.