November 5, 2025 • 56 mins
On this episode we sit down with our friend Melissa to talk about a variety of topics, from her coming out journey, to calling off her engagement, to finding the love of her life, to what it's like being a ketamine nurse AND pediatric nurse at Boston Children's Hospital. Melissa shows us why everything doesn't have to be so black and white.
• We start with Melissa's childhood growing up on a Rhode Island farm and moving to Boston
• Her coming out story, including her first sober kiss with a woman and how she came out to her family
• How ending an engagement made her reframe her own strength and what bravery really means
• Meeting her wife Brianna (aka our bestie Bahn) two years after her engagement
• What it's like giving ketamine infusions: process, effects and safety
• What her role working as a nurse at Boston Children's Hospital is like
• Melissa ends with practical advice for coming out and staying open
• Her top 5 Taylor Swift songs
Make sure to like us, comment, tag us, friend us on social media at TikTok and Instagram at Stitch and Pod. Go to our website, SnitchinPodcast.com, and tell everyone you know about us!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Ready?
SPEAKER_01 (00:02):
Ready.
SPEAKER_00 (00:02):
Hey everyone.
Welcome back to the latestepisode of Snitchin.
SPEAKER_01 (00:05):
It's your host, Kristen and Brittany.
Get ready for the best part ofyour day.
SPEAKER_00 (00:10):
And it's Wednesday, which you know what that means.
We are back, baby, with anotherguest episode.
We're so excited about this one.
We are joined by our friendMelissa here, who is married to
a friend of the pod.
You all know her already, Bond.
She came on the pod to talkabout her coming out journey.
And we have now her wife Melissahere.
(00:33):
So we're gonna get both sides ofthe story on like how you guys
met.
I feel like you guys are gonnasay like different things.
SPEAKER_02 (00:45):
Well, thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_00 (00:46):
I'm happy to be here.
We're so excited to have you.
It's gonna be great.
Um, so yeah, let's like jumpright in because we have so much
to talk about with Melissa, notjust her relationship with Bon,
but we also want to hear abouther coming out journey.
Um, a fun fact about Melissa,which we'll talk about is that
she was previously engaged priorto meeting Bond and called off
(01:09):
that engagement.
So we are very curious to hearhow you dealt with that.
And then she also has a very biggirl job.
She is a big nurse.
SPEAKER_01 (01:19):
Interesting job.
Interesting job.
SPEAKER_00 (01:21):
Interesting job and um academy nurse.
So we're definitely going to betalking a little bit about life
at her job.
So yeah, it's gonna be a greatepisode.
Melissa, why don't we just startoff with a little like get to
know you?
Um, just tell us like whereyou're from and maybe a little
bit about where you grew up,your family, just to kind of set
the stage.
SPEAKER_02 (01:42):
Sure.
Um, I grew up in Rhode Island inNorth Smithfield, Rhode Island.
It's um on a farm, which isprobably one of the most
interesting things about me.
So I grew up riding horses, wehad chickens, my parents still
have cows, 100-acre farm.
It's been in our family for avery long time.
(02:02):
I should, I shouldn't knowexactly how long, but I don't.
So I lived in Rhode Island upuntil I moved to Boston, but I
went to uh Catholic high schooland then went moved to Boston
freshman year of college, stayedin Boston from freshman year of
college until I moved to Canton.
So Canton was my first trip backto the birds, really.
(02:24):
I only went home for two summersonce I moved away, and then I
always just stayed in Boston.
Do you miss the farm life?
Um a little bit, a little bit.
Cut try baling hay in ahundred-degree heat, throwing
hay bales and all that, andcutting grass.
I I've known how to cut grasssince I was about six years old,
(02:45):
which is another funny factabout my sister was too skinny
to ride the riding lawnmower,but I was the chuggier sister,
so I might I wouldn't bounce, Iwas heavy enough so the
lawnmower wouldn't shut off.
SPEAKER_00 (02:57):
That's hilarious.
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_02 (03:01):
Yeah, so fun fact, my sister is due to have her
baby any day now, so I'll be anauntie for the second time for
my sister.
So and it's a I secretly hopeshe lasts till Friday because I
turned 35 on Friday, but we'llsee.
SPEAKER_00 (03:15):
Well, it's so exciting.
Congratulations.
First off, happy early birthday.
And then also, yeah, on being anauntie for the second time.
So it's just you and yoursister, right?
And you're the older.
SPEAKER_02 (03:26):
Younger.
SPEAKER_00 (03:27):
You're the younger.
SPEAKER_02 (03:28):
Yeah, my sister's 36, and then I'm almost 35.
And then my parents have beentogether since they were 15 and
17, and they're married.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (03:40):
Dang, that's like now being 35, do you feel?
I mean, it was a different timealso, I know, with our parents
and especially our grandparents'generation, but the high school
sweetheart of it all, I'm like,that's wow.
I mean, just think about who youwere at 15.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (03:54):
I mean, I'm no, I'm not saying it's a negative, I
think that's amazing, but well,as we'll talk about in a little
bit, I've lived about a hundredlives since then.
So totally.
But yeah, their their marriageis like so admirable.
So they're very they're verycute.
Oh.
And they only have my sister andI in their late 30s.
So they've been together for along time before having us.
(04:17):
So my parents were a little bitolder when they had us.
SPEAKER_00 (04:21):
Cool.
I think a lot of people don'trealize that New England has
even has farms.
Do you know?
Have you ever, you know what Imean?
Yeah.
Well, Western Mass.
SPEAKER_01 (04:31):
Totally.
Just kind of like its own state.
SPEAKER_02 (04:33):
We're really fortunate because we had this
100-acre farm, but we were 10minutes from school, 10 minutes
from the movies, you know,everything was right near us.
We're 20 minutes fromProvidence, so it was in only an
hour to Boston.
So we had this very countryupbringing, but also was super
close to everything.
(04:54):
So it's not like I was out inthe middle of nowhere.
SPEAKER_00 (04:56):
Yeah, it makes a difference.
SPEAKER_02 (04:58):
Definitely.
SPEAKER_00 (04:59):
But maybe we start there.
Like, when did you first comeout?
Like, what's what's the whatlet's talk about that story?
SPEAKER_01 (05:05):
I I feel like Bond said you had a gay awakening.
I think that is.
SPEAKER_02 (05:09):
I think that's correct.
I think she colored it my wholelike coming of age journey to be
probably way way way moreinteresting than it actually
was.
But um, I would say, I mean, Ionly really kind of ex I guess
you could say I hate the wordlike explore things, but after I
had moved away from home, I meanI went to Catholic school, so
(05:33):
and there wasn't really any alot of out queer people when I
was in school, similar to whatBrianna said.
But when I was thinking aboutthis, knowing I was gonna be
talking to you guys, I the firstthing that comes to mind is do
you remember when Gray's Anatomywas like super sexy back in the
day?
I don't know if you guys watchedit, like Mary Gray and all that.
So I was my one of my friendsthat I played volleyball with,
(05:56):
uh, we would just watch Graystogether in her basement all
through high school.
And I always was like, I wonderwhat it would be like if we just
made out right now, like bearwatching, like we're watching
Grey's Anatomy.
And I always just thought, like,what if I kissed her?
But we were we were bestfriends, we both always have
boyfriends.
Um, nothing ever happened, butthat was that was always the
(06:18):
first thought that kind of camein my mind, and I just let it
sit there and moved on.
But my and in retrospect, afunny thing is that my dad used
to call me one month Melissa inhigh school because I'd have
these boyfriends, but I wouldlose interest after a month.
Like not for any, like not forany reason.
(06:39):
It was just like you're nice,but uh it's alright.
Like, I'm I'm good, thank youthough.
Um yeah, so then when I went tocollege, I was in this new city,
had all you know, just not beingnext to your parents and people
that you know, you have thistime to kind of start fresh.
So I was definitely that drunkgirl that made out with all of
(07:02):
her friends.
Um I kind of started thatjourney freshman year, and then
sophomore year of college, I wasstill doing that, but then had
my first kind of sober girl crapgirl kiss with someone from
school, and I was like, oh fuck,like this all makes sense.
(07:26):
And the my first you know, sobergirl kiss on like a weekday
afternoon was with a girl whowas like such a flirt.
I knew it wasn't gonna end upwell, but it I just ended up.
SPEAKER_00 (07:42):
But I could see why like a sober interaction,
because I remember back in theday in college, like girls would
like kiss a lot of times to getthe attention of boys, you know,
like there would be like a makeout or whatever, always alcohol
involved.
So I could see how the firstsober experience, you're like,
oh, wait a minute, this might bea little bit different than what
(08:02):
you know, just drunk fun.
SPEAKER_02 (08:04):
We stayed the the sober girl kiss, we stayed
texting for a couple weeks, andthen naturally, you know, she
moved on to someone else becauseI wasn't out and no, like no
hard feelings.
And then um, outside of a gaybar with my gay barista friend
from my um cat my cafe job, likecrying about this girl.
(08:27):
I think they might I think thismight actually be a real thing.
Yeah, and then I've had some Ihad from there, I I dated
someone from my nursing programfor about two years and had a
few other long-termrelationships after that.
Um, but I wasn't from say saythat was around 20, that first
(08:52):
interaction.
I didn't come out for orprobably I was like 19, I didn't
come out till I was 23.
Oh my to my family.
To my family.
SPEAKER_00 (09:01):
What was like your hesitancy with doing that?
It's it's a scary thing.
Yeah, the obvious, but I guessspecific to you.
SPEAKER_02 (09:08):
Yeah, um I came out to my friends like pretty
quickly after I my first like Istarted dating um someone from
my nursing uh program.
And coming out to my friends waswas no problem.
My girlfriend at the timeactually called me babe in front
of my sister, so that was how Icame out to my sister, and my
(09:29):
sister was super cool about it.
But I don't know, it was justone of those things that I was
just so scared, and I just Ijust wasn't, I just wasn't
ready, and I didn't want to comeout and kind of implode
everything on my parents if if Ididn't know I was still figuring
things out myself, so Idefinitely kind of was living a
(09:51):
double life.
I had my Boston friends and myBoston social life, my
relationships there, and then Iwould go home to the farm and my
mom would be like, You datinganyone?
And I'd be like, No, no, youknow, yeah, it's tough.
So and it was tough because Iwas one month Melissa in high
school, and I haven't had aboyfriend in five years, or you
(10:13):
know, like so many years.
And I was almost hoping thatthey would ask me, but it never
did.
SPEAKER_01 (10:20):
Yeah, probably like kind of worked out in your favor
that your friend spilled thebeans or your girlfriend a time
spilled the beans to yoursister.
SPEAKER_02 (10:25):
Yeah, kind of made it easier.
Rip that band-aid off.
SPEAKER_01 (10:28):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (10:29):
And her and my sister um got along really well.
Um, so it that was that wastotally fine.
My sister was very cool about itall.
SPEAKER_00 (10:38):
That's great.
I mean, I feel like there's somesimilarities to what Bond told
us too with that.
And and to bring it back to whatyou said before, and we talked
about this when she came on thepod, just setting the stage of
the time where there reallyweren't that many people that I
mean, people were out, but itwasn't, I think, as uh common as
it is today for teenagers.
SPEAKER_02 (10:57):
So there was also kind of like a stigma because I
went to Simmons, which is anall-girls school.
All girls, yeah.
And even though I had thesethoughts in my head even before
I got to Boston, there there wasa little bit of a stigma.
Oh, oh, like you're just likemaking out with girls because
you go to Simmons.
Like you just, you know, and Iwas so nervous to have that type
(11:20):
of stigma on me.
But now, like you said, it's2025.
People have you know, people dokind of whatever they want,
which is so awesome.
You don't have to have aconversation this whole
conversation about it.
SPEAKER_00 (11:32):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_01 (11:33):
I think it's so interesting that like you and
Bon, I feel like both kind ofhad to like figure it out.
Like it, I don't know.
To me, it's always presentedthat like if you're gay, you're
gay, you know.
You know, yeah, it's justinteresting to me that like it
kind of took you that took you alittle bit to figure it out.
And it started as like a littleinkling, like, oh, maybe I what
would happen if I made out withthis girl or whatever.
SPEAKER_02 (11:54):
Yeah, and it was just you know, you grow up
watching Disney movies whereit's a prince and a princess, or
your parent, you know, yourfamily's like, oh, I wonder what
your husband's gonna look like.
So, in some ways, too, it's ex Iwas re-exposed to oh, you know,
you can have this queer life andstill, I can still be a nurse
full time, I can still own ahouse.
(12:16):
Like, and now I'm married tosomeone that can fix more things
than most men I know.
Like facts, definitely more thanmy husband.
Facts.
And I would I um, you know, andI think everyone's journey into
queerness is definitelydefinitely doesn't have to be a
black and white thing, even whenI was still exploring and in
(12:38):
between long-term relationshipswith girls.
I would I had gone on dates withguys and were so it was like, oh
yeah, now I remember why I don'tdo that.
But there was definitely therewas definitely back and forth.
SPEAKER_00 (12:53):
And you're right, like I guess with straight
people, like you don't reallythat's that the media that
you're presented with is how youfeel, so you don't, you know,
it's just different, like and Iyeah, I'm very mindful of that
now because I've experiencedthat, you know.
SPEAKER_02 (13:10):
If if someone wants to tell me on Wednesday that
they're they're they have agirlfriend, but on you know,
next time I see them they have aboyfriend, I'll be like, cool,
yeah.
I mean, I've done that, I guess.
You know, yeah, whatever makesyou happy.
Yeah, I I think nothing is in myin my opinion, nothing has to be
black and white.
And I I always say to Brianna,like everyone's a little bit
(13:30):
gay.
Yeah, it's a spectrum, yeah,right.
Everyone should be a little bitin my opinion.
SPEAKER_00 (13:36):
Yeah.
What was your feeling like onceyou had that conversation with
your parents?
Was it just relief?
SPEAKER_02 (13:41):
Yeah, so I so the main reason the that like tipped
me over the edge to basicallyget the courage to tell my
parents was I had been with myex-fiance for a while, and we
were going to the Dominican, andmy mom said, Oh, you can bring a
friend, because Jenna was stillmy was still my friend.
(14:02):
Right.
And so Jenna, and this was whenI was 23, and Jenna said, I'm
not going to the Dominican withyour family as just your friend,
which totally fair, totallyfair.
Sure.
So I was working on a psych unitat the time, spent the whole day
in the psych unit with my friendTaylor, hyping myself up to call
(14:23):
my mom on my walk home andcalled her.
And I was like, before we buytickets for Jenna to come to the
Dominican, I just want you toknow.
I'm not sure if you already putit together, but she's more than
just a friend kind of thing.
SPEAKER_00 (14:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (14:38):
So yeah.
It's so hard.
Yeah.
Because I feel like we talkedabout this with Bob too.
SPEAKER_01 (14:43):
Like you're never like, oh yeah.
So like this is my boyfriend.
Like, you I don't know.
I feel like when you're in arelationship with a man, like if
you you wouldn't have to likehave that like weird
conversation about sexuality ordating or anything with your
parents, which is such a weirdtopic.
SPEAKER_02 (14:57):
Yeah.
My mom, my mom did say at thetime, like she kind of put two
and two together.
It was more the couple'sHalloween costumes that like
outed us, I guess.
SPEAKER_00 (15:08):
What were you?
SPEAKER_02 (15:09):
I was a fish and she was a fisherman.
Oh cute.
And and like I haven't had aboyfriend in years.
I have this like one good friendthat came out of nowhere that,
you know, I want to come onvacation with us.
So I definitely my my mom wasn'tstupid.
Like I was I was planting theclues.
SPEAKER_00 (15:31):
With the relationship that you had, your
ex-fiance.
I'm just kind of I think one ofthe things that I'm curious
about, we just went had thisbook club where it's called
Untamed and it's all about it.
Oh, you're girl Glennon.
Glenn.
Well, I thought, right, ofcourse.
Yeah.
And it's like right duh.
It's about her, you know,realizing her love for Abby and
(15:53):
herself.
But yeah, when she's talkingabout that, like the knowing,
like just having that intuitionand and knowing what is actually
best for you, like just talk tous a little bit about when you
knew it was right for you tocall it off and yeah, that
experience.
SPEAKER_02 (16:08):
Um, so we had been together for about five years.
We had been engaged for over ayear.
And so just to set the scene,this was June.
And to be fair, I did tell herthat I was talking about this on
the podcast.
Uh oh, nice.
So Jenna Jenna is aware.
So it was we were gettingmarried August 30th, and it was
beginning of June.
(16:29):
And I woke up to a text from hersaying, I'm like, I'm not gonna
come home for the week.
I'm gonna stay at my at myfriend's house.
I just need to think aboutthings, and you know, I just
need some space.
So naturally, like I freakedout.
Red five alarm bells on anythinginside out.
(16:51):
Like just like memory is such afunny thing because that was
probably one of the moststressful times of my life, and
I was thinking back on all ofthis, and I really had to put
the dates and everythingtogether because it is all such
a blur.
But long story short, I she sentthat text, I called her, freaked
(17:12):
out.
She still was like, I need time,I'm I am gonna were you like
blindsided?
Kind of, kind of.
Wedding planning definitely feltone-sided.
We were getting we were supposedto get married at uh night shift
in Everett, and that was kind ofwhat she chose.
It wasn't necessarily what Iwould have chosen where we got
(17:35):
married, it was way differentthan oh my god, and I got
married was um just kind of feltone-sided, and I was like, I'm
making all these plans, I'mdoing all these things for this
type of event that you wanted,but yet you're not giving me
anything.
Kind of the for me, it wasalmost like the writing was on
the wall.
I unfortunately was alreadyplanning to go to my friend's
(17:59):
30th birthday party.
I went to the 30th birthdayparty and I sat out on the porch
of this brewery with my friendCarly, who was also the first
friend I came out to.
So had a nice mental breakdown.
I would say the birthday party.
And I to be honest with you, Ican't even remember how many
days she was gone for, butbasically by the time she did
(18:21):
come home, we both knew.
We were like, Yeah, I you know,what can you do after that?
You're yeah, I really felt likethe rug was ripped out from
underneath me.
I was like, and I was like, whatdid you propose to me?
Like you you wanted to pick outrings, you initiated all of
this.
I would have been fine justdoing our you know, doing our
(18:44):
thing as a long-term couple, butyou're the one that initiated
all of this planning.
So for you to kind of rip thisaway, you just have to reprocess
your whole life, like not justsound dramatic, but it's like I
was supposed to be married intwo months, and now you're
telling me that you're notcoming home, and where do I even
(19:07):
start?
SPEAKER_01 (19:08):
And I feel like even if she did have like a good
reason or like came back and waslike, I've thought about it and
I still want to get married,blah blah blah.
I feel like it would still be inthe back of your mind.
Like, yes, is she gonna do thisagain to me?
SPEAKER_02 (19:18):
You know, like for sure.
But it's definitely theundertone of distrust is always
gonna be there.
Yeah, yeah.
And I this isn't me saying thatI was an angel to be engaged to.
I mean, it I'm not saying thateverything was like perfect, I
but I I think I just assumed,oh, we're just fighting because
they're like wedding planning isstressful, and I I wasn't
(19:40):
necessarily seeing if she washaving this crisis that I wasn't
aware of.
Yeah.
Um but yeah, I my friend told meshe was like, I'm pretty sure I
got the invitation.
SPEAKER_01 (19:52):
The invitations are all but the logistics of that
mass suck.
SPEAKER_02 (19:56):
Yeah, and and just for context, we lived in the
guest house of her mom's housein Cambridge.
So it was like not only did youknow my fiance say she's not
coming home now, her mom is liketrimming her hedges, and I have
to like leave for my birthdayparty, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (20:15):
Wait, that's like that's like a a triple quadruple
whammy.
It's like, okay, so you have tomove.
That's that's its own thing.
You know, obviously you'remourning like the life that you
thought was gonna be happening,and then it's also like even
having to tell people that thiswas happening and like going
through that whole process andthen like letting people down
(20:35):
all of it.
Yeah, like what was the hardestpart about that?
SPEAKER_02 (20:38):
I mean, similar to coming out, like calling making
that phone call to my mom wasthe hardest, I think.
I and to be honest with you, Ican't even remember if I told my
parents or if I told my friendsfirst, but definitely making
that phone call to tell my momthat it wasn't happening, like
you could just tell she felt sobad for me.
(21:01):
So I would say that firstinitial phone call was was
horrible, but my mom really tookit upon herself to just tell all
of the family, so I never had toreally tell any of the guests.
And then I think I can't evenremember how I told all my
friends, but to be honest withyou, I only have like 10
friends, so that was like onegroup text.
(21:23):
Um and everyone was just supersupportive, like whatever
whatever you need.
The what one of the things thatreally was the most shitty was
having to re tell everybody justin my in my work life.
Um I remember I went into my Iwent into my boss's office and
(21:47):
she said in front of a bunch ofpeople, oh, did you change your
last name when you got married?
And I and I had to be like, um,I didn't actually get married.
And you could just hear thesilence throughout the the whole
office, like like, oh god,that's I feel so bad for her.
But then, yes, like you exactly,so many people.
(22:09):
I remember one of my aunts umcalled me and was like, I'm just
so proud of you.
This is such this isn't an easydecision.
It would have been in some wayseasier just to go through with
it, but it's so you you guyswere very brave in making that
decision.
And I also think people don'ttalk about breaking up with
(22:30):
someone who you actually stilllike as a person.
You know, like there was shejust wasn't ready to get
married.
She had stuff that she had towork through, but she's not a
terrible person, so you'rebreaking up this life of five
years for someone that you'relike, you're still like you suck
right now, but you're still likeyou were like my person for five
(22:54):
years, and now how are we gonnashare the dog?
Like, for what I know, like I Ididn't get cheated on.
There was there was no bigblowout fight.
It was it was there was no bigreason, just it wasn't it wasn't
gonna work, it wasn't gonnahappen.
So that's almost harder.
(23:14):
I almost just wish that yeah, insome ways you wish, like, just
tell me you cheated on me.
Like that would just make itthen.
I could just be angry.
Oh, totally.
It wouldn't have to be sad, Icould just be angry.
SPEAKER_00 (23:25):
1000%, yes.
SPEAKER_02 (23:26):
But yeah, everything really does happen for a reason.
There was definitely, you know,a black fog in my brain for a
while, and then the day ofAugust 30th, it was of course a
beautiful day.
But my friends are awesome, andwe all went to my friend's lake
house in Maine that day, and Idefinitely had like a lot of
(23:49):
drinks, and it was a beautifulday.
And like I was I was in the itwasn't come August 30th, I was
in bed crying, I was on a boatwith people that I love, you
know.
So it says a lot, probably.
So you know I as we know like Igot married this year, she got
married this year, she'sthriving in New Orleans.
(24:12):
So I'm just happy that we'reboth, you know, you just want to
see someone that you care aboutbe happy wherever they want to
be.
And if that wasn't with me, thatyou know, that's okay.
I'd rather know that ahead oftime.
Yeah, our girl Glennon would bevery proud of you.
SPEAKER_00 (24:28):
Our girl Glenn is clapping from the sidelines if
she is listening.
And if anyone is going through atough breakup and maybe saw a
marriage with this person thatthey are breaking up with or
calling off an engagement, justknow that there's something even
better on the other side for youand your life.
So let's get to that.
Let's talk about when we metBon.
(24:49):
Um, I am curious.
We didn't being the firstrelationship that Bon was in,
like, was there as any hesitancyon your side, you know?
Oh yeah.
Okay, yeah.
I'm curious about that.
So how did you guys meet andwhat was that like?
SPEAKER_02 (25:02):
Yeah, I I always feel I always I always felt kind
of bad because not that I wantedto consider myself like damage
goods, but I was still I stillhad a hard time telling people
that I was previously engaged.
I felt how soon after was it?
Um it was like two plus years,but uh Brianna was my first long
(25:26):
term, like my first serious kindof relationship like after all
the breakup.
Yeah.
So Brianna, Brianna met me andwas like so in, and I was like,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
Like you know, I've been I'vebeen I've been through it.
I'm gonna need a second.
Yeah.
Um, but we yeah, so we met onHinge.
(25:47):
Um, so we talked for about aweek.
It's kind of funny.
I had planned this whole thing,I knew I liked her via text, and
then uh it was one of those, oh,I hope when we meet in person
that they're actually as cool asthey are.
Yeah.
Um totally.
We had planned to meet inBrighton after at a brewery that
I picked out.
Turns out the brewery wasclosed, and so I just like
(26:08):
hopped in her car and we wentsomewhere else, and she's always
like, I can't believe you justgot in my car when we just met.
And I'm like, You're five, too.
Like, like, what are you reallywhat were you really gonna do to
me?
Um, absolutely.
So we we went, it's just likekind of funny because the the
restaurant that we went to, Ifound out later that we sat in
(26:29):
velvet chairs, and I don't knowif it's come up, but Brianna
like can't touch velvet.
Oh, yeah.
So she's always like, I sat in avelvet chair for you.
And then and then our seconddate, we actually made it to to
the brewery.
It was just I it sounds socheesy, but it was really like
electric.
Um, just like oh, like I've beenwaiting all week to see you.
(26:52):
We we were just like so happy inour little bubble, and then
after that, we laid on thegrass, like a right on the
Charles River, and I don't thinkI've ever seen her lay on grass
without a blanket since like sobetween between the velvet
chairs and the the grass.
I mean, I should have known shewas all in from that, but yeah,
(27:12):
I was definitely more I wasdefinitely that girl that was
like I don't want you to seeother people, I won't see other
people, but we can't we can't beexclusive right now.
Like if we're and I we were justtalking about it at a party at
that.
I was definitely in the mindsetof if we never make it official,
we never have to break up.
Because I just didn't think Icould go through that again.
(27:36):
So we ended up making itofficial in August.
So we met in like end of May,and we were together officially
by August.
You know, it was official beforethen, whether I admit it or not.
SPEAKER_00 (27:47):
Yeah, I was just if Bon's touching all the textures,
that grass and velvet, you know,she's in.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (27:53):
And she like she only found out a little ways in
that I had a cat, and she's liketerrified of cats, and it's real
love because rest in peace, butshe let my cat, Gracie, live
with us for three years beforeshe passed.
So yeah, she lets you live withTaylor.
She doesn't listen to Taylor.
(28:14):
I know.
SPEAKER_00 (28:14):
I mean, I'm not really sure what she's doing,
but but I am curious about whatyou said, like with the damaged
goods comment.
Me as a single woman, if I wasdating someone who had been
engaged, I don't think I wouldhave any type of hesitation
about that.
I think I would just be morecurious about what happened, but
not like that's a red flag.
SPEAKER_02 (28:34):
Yeah, I think great, and that this that was about six
years ago, you know.
So I think or we've beentogether for four, but all of
that happened six-ish years ago.
And it's taken me a while tokind of feel not so much proud,
but to speak about it openlybecause I don't know, I it was
(28:56):
just a hard thing for me to wrapmy head around.
I kind of felt like a failurealmost.
Or maybe someone sees a red flagabout me, you know, like, oh,
what what did she what did shedo wrong that she, you know, had
a broken engagement.
I think I just saw it more assomeone's gonna think
something's wrong with me versusme feeling almost empowered by
(29:17):
my experience.
SPEAKER_00 (29:19):
Totally.
SPEAKER_02 (29:20):
Even now, um, being in our mid-30s, if you dated
someone who was 40, you couldsay, Oh, I met someone and
they're divorced.
And I wouldn't think anything ofit.
It's like, oh yeah, I mean,someone in their 40s, like, that
makes sense.
Yeah.
So it just took me a while tofeel comfortable with, and not
that it defines me, but justknowing that's part of my past.
SPEAKER_00 (29:40):
No, totally, totally.
I mean, I think that's like sonatural.
It's like one of those thingswhere it's like other people
aren't thinking that.
But of course, you know, we allthink of our internal stuff,
like think differently about it.
SPEAKER_02 (29:51):
So I definitely had the stigma on my on myself and
didn't see it as um shit, shemust be like really strong if.
She's been through that ingrief.
SPEAKER_00 (30:02):
Oh my gosh.
We are like we're literally theworst, the meanest to ourselves.
It's crazy.
Like you would never say that toyour friend.
It's just we're the worst.
Good reminder.
Um, okay.
What is your favorite thingabout Vaughn?
And then we definitely need tohear a couple stories um about
I'm very curious about beingAcademy nurse.
Like, I need to know what thatentails, but what is your
favorite thing about Vaughn?
SPEAKER_01 (30:22):
This was like first, first, really quick.
This was like my favorite partabout Vaughn's episode.
I was smiling ear to ear whenshe was talking about it was so
beautiful.
SPEAKER_02 (30:30):
So pressure Vaughn.
I know.
Like, no pressure.
Let me let like look at my notesright now.
No.
Um, I would say my favoritething is that it's always felt
right.
And she she really rides for herpeople for definitely for lack
of a better term.
I've never once like wavered inour relationship.
I've never once worried whereshe stands.
(30:51):
She's almost like black andwhite to a fault.
I always say she's very boringto fight with because she's
like, I'll talk to you whenyou're ready to calm down, you
know.
And I'm like, come on, just likejust give me something.
Yeah, like she is one of themost caring people that I've
ever met.
Things nothing goes unnoticed oranything like that.
(31:12):
And that's the same for ourrelationship too.
Like, I love that.
She knows she knows when I walkin the door if I'm like ready to
talk or if I need a minute.
Um, I'm not as good about thatbecause I could just talk all
the time.
But um and one of I mean, getyourself a partner that if I
work every third weekend, I comehome Sunday night.
(31:33):
We just I have a brand new, likerefinished hutch, like in our
kitchen that she just shedoesn't.
SPEAKER_01 (31:39):
No, so jealous.
SPEAKER_00 (31:40):
So jealousy so nice, and that's so true.
Like the steadfastness of likeshe's just like a rock.
What what a nice thing to be ina relationship and have and not
have like everyone fightsobviously, but like not have any
of those concerns or likeinsecurities.
SPEAKER_02 (31:53):
I think coming from what I had experienced in the
past, this is this is what Ineeded.
I could not yeah, I I don't Idon't know how people can be
with people where they don'tknow where their partner is or
they haven't written them backand it's been two hours.
I mean, I think I'm more thatpartner for Brianna when she's
like, How do you have asmartwatch in a phone and your
(32:16):
phone still goes to voicemail?
And I'm like, I don't know, I'mcalling you now.
We're very much opposite in somany ways, which it really works
for us.
SPEAKER_00 (32:28):
Like it's well top couple.
And we loved hearing uh yourside of the story after talking
to Bon and now hearing, youknow, your perspective of how
you guys met and your favoritethings you love about her.
Um, we're gonna transition intoMelissa's work life.
So, as we said, you're apediatric nurse at children's
(32:49):
and you are also academy nurse.
So, can we start there?
For those who don't know, whatdoes academy nurse do?
Like, and what is ketamine?
SPEAKER_02 (32:57):
Um, ketamine, it's it's kind of something that's
coming up.
You'll see it more in the news,unfortunately.
It was talked about more withlike Matthew Perry using like
ketamine not safely prescribedand stuff like that.
Um, but I work at a psychiatricclinic that does ketamine
infusion.
So ketamine is a drug commonlyused for like sedation or
(33:20):
sometimes for pain management,but that research has been
proven that it can help accessreceptors in your brain that
common antidepressants likecan't reach.
So a lot of the patients that Isee have tried every type of
antidepressant, still eitherlike still have depression or
have really bad side effects.
(33:42):
They might have anxiety, panicattacks, OCD, Tourette's,
trauma.
So they'll come to they'll cometo the clinic, they do it uh
evaluation.
We see the treatment rooms thatwe are nicer than anyone's
houses.
It's just an old house inCambridge.
And you basically, my role is Iplace their IV, we do their
(34:03):
vitals.
Everyone has a dose that's basedon weight, and you can increase
or decrease your dose based onparameters that are set by the
doctors.
So basically, you see me, wechat.
I have a lot of regular patientsat the moment, and then your you
put an eye mask on, a weightedblanket, noise canceling,
headphones, recline, and theninfusion goes over 40 minutes.
(34:27):
So things might come up that arereally pleasant, might be bad.
People's experiences are sodifferent no matter what day of
the week it is, what their doseis.
No infusion is the same.
So we recommend when peoplestart that they do a series of
six to eight within a month-ish,just to help like reset your
(34:49):
brain.
SPEAKER_00 (34:50):
When you're in so when you're in that 40-minute
infusion, are you high?
Like are you like hallucinating?
SPEAKER_02 (34:55):
So you're in like a hallucinogenic state.
So it's not it's not likeanesthetic.
You kind of people you're kindof like tripping almost.
SPEAKER_01 (35:04):
Okay, microdosing?
Is that a little bit, a littlebit, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (35:08):
Some people talk to me the whole time while they're
tripping.
Some people put their headphoneson and chill and they do their
thing, they get up and leave.
They the clinic also offers uhketamine assisted
psychotherapies, so there's alicensed therapist or social
worker that will do the wholesession with the patients.
(35:30):
I am by no means like a licensedtherapist or social worker.
Some people I think see me asthat, and we chat and I just
help them through whatever thatcomes up in their infusion.
Um, so it's a really interestingjob.
I've met professors, teachers,pilots, so it's all like people
(35:50):
that have a whole spectrum ofpeople.
SPEAKER_01 (35:53):
It's like people that feel like like or that
regular like antidepressantsjust don't work.
SPEAKER_02 (35:59):
Yeah.
Some usually the people that arecoming to us, they they're like,
I've tried everything else.
Yeah.
Because it's it's umunfortunately it's not covered
by insurance for most insuranceplans.
So people are paying out ofpocket for this treatment that
they hope helps them get out ofor get through whatever they're
(36:19):
going through.
SPEAKER_01 (36:20):
That's so crazy.
So are you supposed to likeunlock things in that 40
minutes, or is it more like itjust kind of goes on in the
background after it's foreverybody?
SPEAKER_02 (36:29):
It's it's kind of different.
Some people start the infusionswith a mantra or an intention.
Some people just this is part oftheir routine.
They come every Wednesday, andjust having the medication in
their system relieves theirpanic symptoms, relieves their
OCD symptoms.
So the medication helps you evenafter you leave the room.
SPEAKER_00 (36:51):
That's like have you heard of um, I feel like this is
a big thing in like thecelebrity world, ayahuasca.
SPEAKER_03 (36:57):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (36:58):
I don't know how it works, but I think it's a
hallucinogenic.
And people say that they go inand they have like an intention
and it unlocks, it helps them.
I've heard it described asalmost like you're floating
above your life and can kind ofsee it objecting.
SPEAKER_02 (37:10):
People have seen people have told me they've seen
themselves above their body.
They they've told me thatthey've they have been in this
in the room that we're in, butthey saw themselves floating
above their own body.
SPEAKER_03 (37:24):
Yes, weird.
SPEAKER_02 (37:26):
And then someone someone came out of an infusion
once and really thought she wasdead.
Like she really thought she diedduring the infusion because in
her trip, like she left her bodyand she came too and was like,
My ears are humming, like I I'mdead, like I'm definitely dead
right now.
Oh I mean, some days it's soeasy, and everyone's chill and
(37:49):
gets their infusions and leaves,and then some days someone comes
to and thinks that they're dead,and you have to know in that
moment what you're gonna what tosay to help bring someone back
down from huge panic.
SPEAKER_01 (38:02):
That is so does it ever so it sounds like it does,
like it can like backfire.
Yeah, like I'm thinking likewhen you take an edible, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (38:09):
Like sometimes like people have just like a bad
hands, um or if you're goingthrough something in your life
before you sit in the chair,that stress from your life can
definitely infiltrate yourjourney.
So if you if you're coming offthe train or got into a fight
with your Uber driver, you know,and then you come sit in the
chair with me, it's like, ohgod, I hope that this goes okay
(38:33):
for them today.
Everyone's appointment is anhour, is an hour and 15 minutes.
So the infusion goes over 40,but we allot time to like get
you in the chair, get yousettled, talk about your dose,
place the ID, stuff like that,and then want to give you enough
time on the back end to recover.
We don't want you to be likesuper out of it.
SPEAKER_00 (38:53):
Has anyone told you like a deep dark secret, you
think?
SPEAKER_02 (38:57):
Um someone, someone who he's like an awesome person.
He always chats with me duringand he always goes, you know,
all the way out there and comesback, and he came back too and
was like, wait, so we're not inlove.
Oh my god.
No, you were just talking about,you know, your wife and your
(39:19):
son, we're not in love.
Yeah.
Um, that's so funny.
No one's really told me like adeep dark secret.
A really cool one that I didwitness was this very nice woman
has lost both of her parentsthat she was taking care of, and
in the journey, she was able tolike say bye to her parents
again, um, which was reallycool.
(39:41):
That's so nice.
Um, so she like I heard her liketalking to them and saying bye
and I miss you, stuff like that.
SPEAKER_00 (39:48):
So oh my gosh, that's emotional.
It was really cool.
SPEAKER_02 (39:51):
Um, and then a funny one was this when this younger
girl comes in with herboyfriend, and at the end of
like mid-infusion, she justlooks at her boyfriend and goes,
Where the fuck is Trinidad andTobago?
And I was like, So then when theinfusion was done, her boyfriend
was like, Oh yeah, we werelooking at like Atlas and is on
(40:14):
our way here.
So I guess her trip, she waslike going, but it was just so
funny.
She was so silent the wholeinfusion, and then she's like,
Where the fuck is Turnie downtoday?
So naturally I come naturally Icome home and I like tell
Brianna like the funny ones.
So last night, last night shewas like, You don't have to tell
them about that one.
SPEAKER_00 (40:34):
So that's such a good one.
I mean, I'm not gonna lie, likeI don't feel like I suffer from
depressive symptoms, but I am socurious about stuff like this.
Like, what would happen?
I'm curious about what I woulduncover, you know?
SPEAKER_02 (40:46):
I know.
I've never tried it.
So many of the patients ask meif I've done it, and if I I'm
sure I could go through all thevenues to get my a cell phone
infusion, but what's stopping meis that I get such bad motion
sickness that I cannot be thegirl that throws up at her own
work on ketamine, you know.
(41:08):
I just that's that's what I'm Ican barely ride shotgun.
I cannot do ketamine.
SPEAKER_01 (41:14):
Well yeah, isn't it like kind of part of like
anesthesia or something?
Like what puts you under?
Or that makes sense then becauseyou can throw from that.
unknown (41:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (41:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (41:21):
Wow.
SPEAKER_02 (41:23):
It's a really cool I used to work at children's with
one of the nurses, two of thenurses that work there.
So they knew that I worked as apsych nurse prior.
So they asked me if I wanted tocome on with them.
So that's how I got the job.
SPEAKER_00 (41:37):
So and so you're actively doing both jobs, right?
Like ketamine.
Okay, seem kind of opposite.
SPEAKER_02 (41:43):
So Wednesdays, Wednesdays I I have my ketamine
days, and then I work at thehospital um my other days.
So it's a nice combo.
SPEAKER_00 (41:53):
How like transitioning to that job
working at children's, um, howhas that experience been for
you?
Did you always know you wantedto work in that field and
pediatric being a pediatricnurse?
No, honestly.
SPEAKER_02 (42:08):
Um at children's I work in the float pool.
So basically I'm trained fromthat's okay.
Um, I'm trained from the ERbasically all the way.
I work almost everywhere atchildren's besides the ICUs.
So the ICU has their own floatpool, but I work like psych, I
(42:28):
work ER, oncology, surgery,their infusion clinic, their
colonoscopy clinic, like alldifferent things.
So I basically report to anoffice each day, and then they
tell me where I'm working thatday.
So I've been doing that foreight years, but I was a
pediatric psych nurse for twoand a half, and then I did
(42:51):
pediatric long-term care, kindof like almost nursing homish
type care for a year and a half,and then I ended up on
children's.
But I honestly thought I wasgonna do geriatrics.
But in 2000, in 2013, thepediatric psych job was the only
interview and callback I had.
(43:11):
So I said, well, I don't wantto, I don't want to move home.
I don't want to move home, andthis job is in Brighton.
So, and all my friends justmoved to Brookline, so I guess
I'm finding an apartment inBrighton and working on this
psych unit.
And honestly, it was like thebest decision I've ever made.
SPEAKER_00 (43:27):
I have always known from a young age that I would
not do well in medicine, sayingwas never a science girl.
I have a hard time with anythingbodily.
I have like the utmost respectand admiration for people who
work in medicine in general, butthen specifically to work with
children is like a whole notherskill set.
(43:47):
So I feel like an obviousquestion, maybe, that people who
are not in your world have islike, how do you do it?
Like, how do you cope with theheavy emotional toll?
SPEAKER_02 (43:58):
I think being in the float pool now, I think has
given me longevity as a bedsidenurse that every day for me is
different.
I don't know if I could still bea bedside nurse if I took care
of the same kid with cancer,their whole cancer journey or
their whole heart surgery to tofind out something terrible
(44:18):
happened.
For me, it's I can appreciatethe good days that are the days
that are good.
I so love them, and the daysthat are bad.
I have I'm I have the ability toknow that I'm not going back
there the next day.
Um I also think it's easier forme right now because I don't
have kids that I can have thattype of separation.
(44:39):
But like put me in the waitingroom at the vet office with
Lloyd and see the little can'tlike see the little candle on
that someone's putting their dogdown and I'm sobbing.
You know, like I think at myeveryone's brain just has their
way of compartmentalizing theirstress in different ways.
And I have a good barrier ofleaving work at work and home
(45:01):
home.
With that being said, though,the sad moments will come in at
the worst times.
Yeah, like I was thinking ofone, like you think you process
things, and then you're like,oh, maybe I didn't.
Like baby calling that therapistis a good idea.
Yeah.
But um years ago when I wasworking on the psych unit, we
(45:22):
had this little boy who was infoster care who only really ate
ketchup sandwiches because thatwas the only thing that he his
family fed him basically.
And I was off, I was in NewHampshire with my family at a
wedding, and we're at this hotelat the Continental Breakfast,
and I just start crying.
And my mom's like, What are youcrying about?
(45:43):
And I was like, I had to tellthem that like here we were at a
nice hotel, and this kid's onlyeating like ketchup sandwiches,
right?
Or I'll see my niece and it'llremind me of like a kid I took
care of, and then it comes out.
SPEAKER_00 (45:57):
Yeah.
Superhuman.
SPEAKER_02 (45:59):
I mean, like, yeah, that's like but it's because at
work you see sad things, andthen the call bell for your
other patient goes off, and youdon't have time to process what
you just witnessed or what thiskid just told his mom because
you you're doing 25 otherthings, but then that comment
(46:20):
that that kid made to his mom isgonna come to you when you're at
friggin' Marshall's.
Oh my god, right, yeah.
That's you know at that long asscheckout line with 17 goodies,
and then you're like, maybe I doneed those heart-shaped peanut
butter things that I can't findthe expiration on them.
I can't find the expiration,yeah.
(46:41):
You just have to appreciate,like, you know, the happy
moments because there are a lotof sad ones.
SPEAKER_01 (46:47):
You must have such great like perspective on the
world.
Um, yeah, I try.
Well, it just like you'reconstantly reminded that you
know there's less fortunatepeople or people people that are
so.
SPEAKER_02 (46:58):
Oh, yeah.
Well, I think one of yourquestions, Coco, was like, what
how do you think this like willmake me as a parent?
And I I can't tell if I'm gonnabe like a crazy parent or a
really chill parent becauseBrianna will come home with all
different ailments and I'll belike, You're fine, take a tile
(47:21):
at all, you know.
For kids, it's I've seen the kidthat's five that's covered in
bruises that finds out he hasleukemia.
So it's like if I have a kidwho's five with bruises because
he plays on the playground,yeah.
I I hope my brain doesn't alwaysthink the worst thing.
Or you know, I've I've met kidsthat have come in because they
have headaches and they find outthey have a brain tumor.
(47:43):
So it's like how I need tofigure out a way to separate
that.
Um but I don't know, we'll see.
When we have kids, I might belike, you're fine, wash your
hands.
Yeah.
Like, you don't know what momsees at work.
Stop crying, you know.
Like, I don't who knows how I'llbe.
SPEAKER_00 (48:00):
That is true.
Like, what is your is yourknowledge and your work
experience gonna like hurt youor help you?
Or maybe that's not the rightphrase, but like yeah, help you.
No, yeah, yeah, yeah,definitely.
But just like what Melissa wassaying about, you know, am I
gonna reach for something that'slike maybe an overreaction, you
know?
Yeah, but totally, totally.
SPEAKER_01 (48:20):
Yeah, yeah, but like other people just Google stuff
and then overreact.
SPEAKER_02 (48:24):
Yeah, but being married to Brianna, hopefully
with her being so black andwhite, she's gonna be she'll be
able to talk me off the ledge,you know.
SPEAKER_01 (48:33):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Damn girl.
You can it's so rewarding.
I wish I was saving lives.
I tell everyone at work all thistime.
I'm like, everyone's so stressedand like pointing fingers, blah
blah blah.
It's like we're acting like it'sthe end of the world.
It's like we're not savinglives.
SPEAKER_02 (48:46):
Well, you actually aren't gonna have to do that.
Don't think I save lives everyday because I sent a Snapchat
yesterday because my patientonly wanted red popsicles, but
at children's the popsicles, Idon't know why they don't make
the packages clear.
SPEAKER_00 (49:04):
Oh, so you don't know.
SPEAKER_02 (49:05):
But I had popsicles spread out all over the ER
kitchen, and I'm like so glad Igot my master's degree to try to
find the road popsicle in theOh, welcome to parenting.
SPEAKER_01 (49:16):
That's parenting.
Totally.
SPEAKER_02 (49:20):
Yeah, I'm not saving lives every day.
Don't don't give me that muchcredit.
SPEAKER_01 (49:24):
Well, you're you're contributing to it.
Yeah.
And you're helping people.
I feel like when I was in thehospital, like when I was after
having a uh my kids, the nurseslike do way more than the
doctors.
The nurses are like totally theones that are there for you and
are that like you're talking toand who actually like know you
and know your name.
I feel like the doctors are justlike in and out, in and out.
SPEAKER_00 (49:46):
I agree.
Well, this has been so much fun.
Is there anything we didn't getto talk about?
Anything that we missed or wasthat anything you want to share?
SPEAKER_02 (49:56):
Well, I did Google all of Taylor Swift's songs by
album because I was waiting foryou to ask and I wanted to be
prepared.
I was gonna ask.
Um, but I've realized that Iprefer Taylor Swift to be
depressed versus in love andhappy.
(50:16):
I don't know if that's a hottake, but I was going through
all of I don't know, RollingStones, like Taylor Swift
albums.
And I didn't she has like fourdifferent renditions of like
every I'm like, what what aboutjust like the red album?
Not red 2.0, you know.
I'm not that much of a Swifty,but my list that I provide that
(50:39):
I'll provide is probably myfirst, my favorite would be All
Too Well, classic, can't go forSwift, yeah, Breeze, yep,
Forever and Always.
Oh, that's a good one, LastKiss.
And I almost and I almost do.
And I was like, wow, the breastTaylor Swift is where it's at
(51:01):
for me.
SPEAKER_00 (51:02):
I think a lot of Swifties will agree with that
take.
I will say, I almost it's so Ilove hearing Swifties like
favorites because I almost dohas been like off my radar
forever.
I haven't listened to that song.
I might go listen to it liketonight.
SPEAKER_02 (51:16):
Yeah, like breathe, same with breathe.
That's a great one.
Yeah, because I think those werelike I think that was also kind
of around my coming out years oryou know, back and forth
relationship kind of years.
So, and then if as far as thenew album goes, I would say wish
list is my favorite, but I justI don't I don't think she needs
(51:37):
a dollar sign in the test.
That's my other hot take.
Yeah.
I did listen to the new album,and my other opinion of it was
like I think Travis hyped it upto be something that it wasn't
because he was like, Oh, yeah,like the guys in the locker room
are gonna be playing thesebangers or whatever.
(51:57):
And I listened to I listened toit when I was cooking dinner and
I was like, there's no way thatI believe though that he
actually believes that.
SPEAKER_01 (52:05):
Like he believed that when he said it.
SPEAKER_00 (52:08):
Yeah.
No, but that's so true.
Like the Kansas City Chiefs arenot listening to Fate of Ophelia
while they're getting ready tobeat the bells.
SPEAKER_01 (52:17):
Yeah, or whatever.
He wishes they were listening toWood.
SPEAKER_00 (52:20):
Oh, 1000.
SPEAKER_02 (52:23):
I yeah, I am glad that she's like she's getting
some.
So that's good.
Like, but uh I um I hope she hasyou know another depression
album to come out, you know, forthe winter.
We'll see.
SPEAKER_00 (52:35):
Yeah.
I know she's gonna have to goback to some of that folklore
evermore songwriting style ifshe's because it seems like
she's not gonna be personallythere.
I know.
SPEAKER_01 (52:48):
I know.
I struggle with that too.
I'm like, oh, I like Loki likeDepressed Taylor better than
Happy Taylor.
And I don't want that.
But I'm thinking, I mean, maybeI think she's entering a new
phase in life.
She's getting married, she haskids, like she can make like no,
it's not gonna all be rainbowsand happiness.
Like it there could be likedeep, difficult songs about
parenting.
Yeah, that's interesting.
(53:09):
I'm very interested to see whatcomes out of her parenting era.
Very interested.
SPEAKER_00 (53:13):
Yeah, me too.
Me too.
Um, great takes though.
We love your list.
And yeah, we just want to send abig thank you, Melissa, for
coming on.
You have been such a greatguest.
It's been such a great episodeand a fun episode.
I'm like, yeah, so yeah, yeah.
So we hope that you enjoyed itand that you'll come back one
day.
SPEAKER_02 (53:30):
Oh, yeah.
And if anyone has any questionsabout coming out or calling off
an engagement, I I mean, I hopeno one's going through that
right now, but feel free to DMme whatever.
Like I'm always open to chat.
SPEAKER_00 (53:44):
Totally.
Do you have any like quickadvice if there is someone who's
maybe thinking about coming outstarting there that you would
share?
SPEAKER_02 (53:52):
Um one of the things that I had thought of was if
well, it was more so if ifyou're dating someone who's out
and you're not, just to havesome conversations about where
you guys like stand with that.
If you're not ready to come out,but you still want to be in a
queer relationship, just likecheck in with your partner who
(54:12):
might be already openly outbecause there's if there's you
know, you want to bringeverything that you can to the
table, but when you're stillcloseted, it's hard to be fully
there for someone.
And I think when I was stillcloseted in queer relationships,
like I definitely have regretsas to how I treated people just
because I was protecting my ownself from it was like my own
(54:36):
fears.
But my only other advice is likenothing has to be black and
white, like go kiss a girl, gokiss a guy, figure out if that's
for you.
If you're if you're thinkingabout it, you know, like if you
have this like gut feeling thatyou feel you need to explore,
like go for it.
You're never gonna know unlessyou sigh.
(54:57):
Yeah, um, and then whether thatopens a new door for you, that's
great.
Or if you're like, nope, I'mgood, at least now you know.
No okay.
Similar to what Brianna saidabout just buying a suit, like
kiss that girl if you want, justkiss that girl if you want to.
What's the worst that'shappening?
SPEAKER_00 (55:15):
No, I love that.
Wear the suit, wear the suit.
I love it.
Uh, I forgot about that.
That we talked about that.
That was a great takeaway.
SPEAKER_02 (55:22):
Yeah, but yeah, nothing every you know, nothing
has just because you know youhave feelings, like nothing has
to be black and white.
Yeah, everybody, everybody istheir own person, and everyone's
figuring this all out life ingeneral, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (55:37):
Everyone, everyone's being a human for the first
time.
Yeah, so I love that.
Thanks so much for coming on,Melissa.
This was a blast.
Um, we hope everyone enjoyed it.
We will be back on Friday withanother episode.
SPEAKER_01 (55:51):
Make sure to like us, comment, tag us, uh, friend
us on social media at TikTok andInstagram at Stitch and Pod.
Go to our website, Stitch andPodcast.com, and tell everyone
you know about us.
Thanks so much, everyone, forlistening.
SPEAKER_00 (56:05):
Thanks again.
Ready?
SPEAKER_01 (00:02):
Ready.
SPEAKER_00 (00:02):
Hey everyone.
Welcome back to the latestepisode of Snitchin.
SPEAKER_01 (00:05):
It's your host, Kristen and Brittany.
Get ready for the best part ofyour day.
SPEAKER_00 (00:10):
And it's Wednesday, which you know what that means.
We are back, baby, with anotherguest episode.
We're so excited about this one.
We are joined by our friendMelissa here, who is married to
a friend of the pod.
You all know her already, Bond.
She came on the pod to talkabout her coming out journey.
And we have now her wife Melissahere.
(00:33):
So we're gonna get both sides ofthe story on like how you guys
met.
I feel like you guys are gonnasay like different things.
SPEAKER_02 (00:45):
Well, thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_00 (00:46):
I'm happy to be here.
We're so excited to have you.
It's gonna be great.
Um, so yeah, let's like jumpright in because we have so much
to talk about with Melissa, notjust her relationship with Bon,
but we also want to hear abouther coming out journey.
Um, a fun fact about Melissa,which we'll talk about is that
she was previously engaged priorto meeting Bond and called off
(01:09):
that engagement.
So we are very curious to hearhow you dealt with that.
And then she also has a very biggirl job.
She is a big nurse.
SPEAKER_01 (01:19):
Interesting job.
Interesting job.
SPEAKER_00 (01:21):
Interesting job and um academy nurse.
So we're definitely going to betalking a little bit about life
at her job.
So yeah, it's gonna be a greatepisode.
Melissa, why don't we just startoff with a little like get to
know you?
Um, just tell us like whereyou're from and maybe a little
bit about where you grew up,your family, just to kind of set
the stage.
SPEAKER_02 (01:42):
Sure.
Um, I grew up in Rhode Island inNorth Smithfield, Rhode Island.
It's um on a farm, which isprobably one of the most
interesting things about me.
So I grew up riding horses, wehad chickens, my parents still
have cows, 100-acre farm.
It's been in our family for avery long time.
(02:02):
I should, I shouldn't knowexactly how long, but I don't.
So I lived in Rhode Island upuntil I moved to Boston, but I
went to uh Catholic high schooland then went moved to Boston
freshman year of college, stayedin Boston from freshman year of
college until I moved to Canton.
So Canton was my first trip backto the birds, really.
(02:24):
I only went home for two summersonce I moved away, and then I
always just stayed in Boston.
Do you miss the farm life?
Um a little bit, a little bit.
Cut try baling hay in ahundred-degree heat, throwing
hay bales and all that, andcutting grass.
I I've known how to cut grasssince I was about six years old,
(02:45):
which is another funny factabout my sister was too skinny
to ride the riding lawnmower,but I was the chuggier sister,
so I might I wouldn't bounce, Iwas heavy enough so the
lawnmower wouldn't shut off.
SPEAKER_00 (02:57):
That's hilarious.
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_02 (03:01):
Yeah, so fun fact, my sister is due to have her
baby any day now, so I'll be anauntie for the second time for
my sister.
So and it's a I secretly hopeshe lasts till Friday because I
turned 35 on Friday, but we'llsee.
SPEAKER_00 (03:15):
Well, it's so exciting.
Congratulations.
First off, happy early birthday.
And then also, yeah, on being anauntie for the second time.
So it's just you and yoursister, right?
And you're the older.
SPEAKER_02 (03:26):
Younger.
SPEAKER_00 (03:27):
You're the younger.
SPEAKER_02 (03:28):
Yeah, my sister's 36, and then I'm almost 35.
And then my parents have beentogether since they were 15 and
17, and they're married.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (03:40):
Dang, that's like now being 35, do you feel?
I mean, it was a different timealso, I know, with our parents
and especially our grandparents'generation, but the high school
sweetheart of it all, I'm like,that's wow.
I mean, just think about who youwere at 15.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (03:54):
I mean, I'm no, I'm not saying it's a negative, I
think that's amazing, but well,as we'll talk about in a little
bit, I've lived about a hundredlives since then.
So totally.
But yeah, their their marriageis like so admirable.
So they're very they're verycute.
Oh.
And they only have my sister andI in their late 30s.
So they've been together for along time before having us.
(04:17):
So my parents were a little bitolder when they had us.
SPEAKER_00 (04:21):
Cool.
I think a lot of people don'trealize that New England has
even has farms.
Do you know?
Have you ever, you know what Imean?
Yeah.
Well, Western Mass.
SPEAKER_01 (04:31):
Totally.
Just kind of like its own state.
SPEAKER_02 (04:33):
We're really fortunate because we had this
100-acre farm, but we were 10minutes from school, 10 minutes
from the movies, you know,everything was right near us.
We're 20 minutes fromProvidence, so it was in only an
hour to Boston.
So we had this very countryupbringing, but also was super
close to everything.
(04:54):
So it's not like I was out inthe middle of nowhere.
SPEAKER_00 (04:56):
Yeah, it makes a difference.
SPEAKER_02 (04:58):
Definitely.
SPEAKER_00 (04:59):
But maybe we start there.
Like, when did you first comeout?
Like, what's what's the whatlet's talk about that story?
SPEAKER_01 (05:05):
I I feel like Bond said you had a gay awakening.
I think that is.
SPEAKER_02 (05:09):
I think that's correct.
I think she colored it my wholelike coming of age journey to be
probably way way way moreinteresting than it actually
was.
But um, I would say, I mean, Ionly really kind of ex I guess
you could say I hate the wordlike explore things, but after I
had moved away from home, I meanI went to Catholic school, so
(05:33):
and there wasn't really any alot of out queer people when I
was in school, similar to whatBrianna said.
But when I was thinking aboutthis, knowing I was gonna be
talking to you guys, I the firstthing that comes to mind is do
you remember when Gray's Anatomywas like super sexy back in the
day?
I don't know if you guys watchedit, like Mary Gray and all that.
So I was my one of my friendsthat I played volleyball with,
(05:56):
uh, we would just watch Graystogether in her basement all
through high school.
And I always was like, I wonderwhat it would be like if we just
made out right now, like bearwatching, like we're watching
Grey's Anatomy.
And I always just thought, like,what if I kissed her?
But we were we were bestfriends, we both always have
boyfriends.
Um, nothing ever happened, butthat was that was always the
(06:18):
first thought that kind of camein my mind, and I just let it
sit there and moved on.
But my and in retrospect, afunny thing is that my dad used
to call me one month Melissa inhigh school because I'd have
these boyfriends, but I wouldlose interest after a month.
Like not for any, like not forany reason.
(06:39):
It was just like you're nice,but uh it's alright.
Like, I'm I'm good, thank youthough.
Um yeah, so then when I went tocollege, I was in this new city,
had all you know, just not beingnext to your parents and people
that you know, you have thistime to kind of start fresh.
So I was definitely that drunkgirl that made out with all of
(07:02):
her friends.
Um I kind of started thatjourney freshman year, and then
sophomore year of college, I wasstill doing that, but then had
my first kind of sober girl crapgirl kiss with someone from
school, and I was like, oh fuck,like this all makes sense.
(07:26):
And the my first you know, sobergirl kiss on like a weekday
afternoon was with a girl whowas like such a flirt.
I knew it wasn't gonna end upwell, but it I just ended up.
SPEAKER_00 (07:42):
But I could see why like a sober interaction,
because I remember back in theday in college, like girls would
like kiss a lot of times to getthe attention of boys, you know,
like there would be like a makeout or whatever, always alcohol
involved.
So I could see how the firstsober experience, you're like,
oh, wait a minute, this might bea little bit different than what
(08:02):
you know, just drunk fun.
SPEAKER_02 (08:04):
We stayed the the sober girl kiss, we stayed
texting for a couple weeks, andthen naturally, you know, she
moved on to someone else becauseI wasn't out and no, like no
hard feelings.
And then um, outside of a gaybar with my gay barista friend
from my um cat my cafe job, likecrying about this girl.
(08:27):
I think they might I think thismight actually be a real thing.
Yeah, and then I've had some Ihad from there, I I dated
someone from my nursing programfor about two years and had a
few other long-termrelationships after that.
Um, but I wasn't from say saythat was around 20, that first
(08:52):
interaction.
I didn't come out for orprobably I was like 19, I didn't
come out till I was 23.
Oh my to my family.
To my family.
SPEAKER_00 (09:01):
What was like your hesitancy with doing that?
It's it's a scary thing.
Yeah, the obvious, but I guessspecific to you.
SPEAKER_02 (09:08):
Yeah, um I came out to my friends like pretty
quickly after I my first like Istarted dating um someone from
my nursing uh program.
And coming out to my friends waswas no problem.
My girlfriend at the timeactually called me babe in front
of my sister, so that was how Icame out to my sister, and my
(09:29):
sister was super cool about it.
But I don't know, it was justone of those things that I was
just so scared, and I just Ijust wasn't, I just wasn't
ready, and I didn't want to comeout and kind of implode
everything on my parents if if Ididn't know I was still figuring
things out myself, so Idefinitely kind of was living a
(09:51):
double life.
I had my Boston friends and myBoston social life, my
relationships there, and then Iwould go home to the farm and my
mom would be like, You datinganyone?
And I'd be like, No, no, youknow, yeah, it's tough.
So and it was tough because Iwas one month Melissa in high
school, and I haven't had aboyfriend in five years, or you
(10:13):
know, like so many years.
And I was almost hoping thatthey would ask me, but it never
did.
SPEAKER_01 (10:20):
Yeah, probably like kind of worked out in your favor
that your friend spilled thebeans or your girlfriend a time
spilled the beans to yoursister.
SPEAKER_02 (10:25):
Yeah, kind of made it easier.
Rip that band-aid off.
SPEAKER_01 (10:28):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (10:29):
And her and my sister um got along really well.
Um, so it that was that wastotally fine.
My sister was very cool about itall.
SPEAKER_00 (10:38):
That's great.
I mean, I feel like there's somesimilarities to what Bond told
us too with that.
And and to bring it back to whatyou said before, and we talked
about this when she came on thepod, just setting the stage of
the time where there reallyweren't that many people that I
mean, people were out, but itwasn't, I think, as uh common as
it is today for teenagers.
SPEAKER_02 (10:57):
So there was also kind of like a stigma because I
went to Simmons, which is anall-girls school.
All girls, yeah.
And even though I had thesethoughts in my head even before
I got to Boston, there there wasa little bit of a stigma.
Oh, oh, like you're just likemaking out with girls because
you go to Simmons.
Like you just, you know, and Iwas so nervous to have that type
(11:20):
of stigma on me.
But now, like you said, it's2025.
People have you know, people dokind of whatever they want,
which is so awesome.
You don't have to have aconversation this whole
conversation about it.
SPEAKER_00 (11:32):
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_01 (11:33):
I think it's so interesting that like you and
Bon, I feel like both kind ofhad to like figure it out.
Like it, I don't know.
To me, it's always presentedthat like if you're gay, you're
gay, you know.
You know, yeah, it's justinteresting to me that like it
kind of took you that took you alittle bit to figure it out.
And it started as like a littleinkling, like, oh, maybe I what
would happen if I made out withthis girl or whatever.
SPEAKER_02 (11:54):
Yeah, and it was just you know, you grow up
watching Disney movies whereit's a prince and a princess, or
your parent, you know, yourfamily's like, oh, I wonder what
your husband's gonna look like.
So, in some ways, too, it's ex Iwas re-exposed to oh, you know,
you can have this queer life andstill, I can still be a nurse
full time, I can still own ahouse.
(12:16):
Like, and now I'm married tosomeone that can fix more things
than most men I know.
Like facts, definitely more thanmy husband.
Facts.
And I would I um, you know, andI think everyone's journey into
queerness is definitelydefinitely doesn't have to be a
black and white thing, even whenI was still exploring and in
(12:38):
between long-term relationshipswith girls.
I would I had gone on dates withguys and were so it was like, oh
yeah, now I remember why I don'tdo that.
But there was definitely therewas definitely back and forth.
SPEAKER_00 (12:53):
And you're right, like I guess with straight
people, like you don't reallythat's that the media that
you're presented with is how youfeel, so you don't, you know,
it's just different, like and Iyeah, I'm very mindful of that
now because I've experiencedthat, you know.
SPEAKER_02 (13:10):
If if someone wants to tell me on Wednesday that
they're they're they have agirlfriend, but on you know,
next time I see them they have aboyfriend, I'll be like, cool,
yeah.
I mean, I've done that, I guess.
You know, yeah, whatever makesyou happy.
Yeah, I I think nothing is in myin my opinion, nothing has to be
black and white.
And I I always say to Brianna,like everyone's a little bit
(13:30):
gay.
Yeah, it's a spectrum, yeah,right.
Everyone should be a little bitin my opinion.
SPEAKER_00 (13:36):
Yeah.
What was your feeling like onceyou had that conversation with
your parents?
Was it just relief?
SPEAKER_02 (13:41):
Yeah, so I so the main reason the that like tipped
me over the edge to basicallyget the courage to tell my
parents was I had been with myex-fiance for a while, and we
were going to the Dominican, andmy mom said, Oh, you can bring a
friend, because Jenna was stillmy was still my friend.
(14:02):
Right.
And so Jenna, and this was whenI was 23, and Jenna said, I'm
not going to the Dominican withyour family as just your friend,
which totally fair, totallyfair.
Sure.
So I was working on a psych unitat the time, spent the whole day
in the psych unit with my friendTaylor, hyping myself up to call
(14:23):
my mom on my walk home andcalled her.
And I was like, before we buytickets for Jenna to come to the
Dominican, I just want you toknow.
I'm not sure if you already putit together, but she's more than
just a friend kind of thing.
SPEAKER_00 (14:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (14:38):
So yeah.
It's so hard.
Yeah.
Because I feel like we talkedabout this with Bob too.
SPEAKER_01 (14:43):
Like you're never like, oh yeah.
So like this is my boyfriend.
Like, you I don't know.
I feel like when you're in arelationship with a man, like if
you you wouldn't have to likehave that like weird
conversation about sexuality ordating or anything with your
parents, which is such a weirdtopic.
SPEAKER_02 (14:57):
Yeah.
My mom, my mom did say at thetime, like she kind of put two
and two together.
It was more the couple'sHalloween costumes that like
outed us, I guess.
SPEAKER_00 (15:08):
What were you?
SPEAKER_02 (15:09):
I was a fish and she was a fisherman.
Oh cute.
And and like I haven't had aboyfriend in years.
I have this like one good friendthat came out of nowhere that,
you know, I want to come onvacation with us.
So I definitely my my mom wasn'tstupid.
Like I was I was planting theclues.
SPEAKER_00 (15:31):
With the relationship that you had, your
ex-fiance.
I'm just kind of I think one ofthe things that I'm curious
about, we just went had thisbook club where it's called
Untamed and it's all about it.
Oh, you're girl Glennon.
Glenn.
Well, I thought, right, ofcourse.
Yeah.
And it's like right duh.
It's about her, you know,realizing her love for Abby and
(15:53):
herself.
But yeah, when she's talkingabout that, like the knowing,
like just having that intuitionand and knowing what is actually
best for you, like just talk tous a little bit about when you
knew it was right for you tocall it off and yeah, that
experience.
SPEAKER_02 (16:08):
Um, so we had been together for about five years.
We had been engaged for over ayear.
And so just to set the scene,this was June.
And to be fair, I did tell herthat I was talking about this on
the podcast.
Uh oh, nice.
So Jenna Jenna is aware.
So it was we were gettingmarried August 30th, and it was
beginning of June.
(16:29):
And I woke up to a text from hersaying, I'm like, I'm not gonna
come home for the week.
I'm gonna stay at my at myfriend's house.
I just need to think aboutthings, and you know, I just
need some space.
So naturally, like I freakedout.
Red five alarm bells on anythinginside out.
(16:51):
Like just like memory is such afunny thing because that was
probably one of the moststressful times of my life, and
I was thinking back on all ofthis, and I really had to put
the dates and everythingtogether because it is all such
a blur.
But long story short, I she sentthat text, I called her, freaked
(17:12):
out.
She still was like, I need time,I'm I am gonna were you like
blindsided?
Kind of, kind of.
Wedding planning definitely feltone-sided.
We were getting we were supposedto get married at uh night shift
in Everett, and that was kind ofwhat she chose.
It wasn't necessarily what Iwould have chosen where we got
(17:35):
married, it was way differentthan oh my god, and I got
married was um just kind of feltone-sided, and I was like, I'm
making all these plans, I'mdoing all these things for this
type of event that you wanted,but yet you're not giving me
anything.
Kind of the for me, it wasalmost like the writing was on
the wall.
I unfortunately was alreadyplanning to go to my friend's
(17:59):
30th birthday party.
I went to the 30th birthdayparty and I sat out on the porch
of this brewery with my friendCarly, who was also the first
friend I came out to.
So had a nice mental breakdown.
I would say the birthday party.
And I to be honest with you, Ican't even remember how many
days she was gone for, butbasically by the time she did
(18:21):
come home, we both knew.
We were like, Yeah, I you know,what can you do after that?
You're yeah, I really felt likethe rug was ripped out from
underneath me.
I was like, and I was like, whatdid you propose to me?
Like you you wanted to pick outrings, you initiated all of
this.
I would have been fine justdoing our you know, doing our
(18:44):
thing as a long-term couple, butyou're the one that initiated
all of this planning.
So for you to kind of rip thisaway, you just have to reprocess
your whole life, like not justsound dramatic, but it's like I
was supposed to be married intwo months, and now you're
telling me that you're notcoming home, and where do I even
(19:07):
start?
SPEAKER_01 (19:08):
And I feel like even if she did have like a good
reason or like came back and waslike, I've thought about it and
I still want to get married,blah blah blah.
I feel like it would still be inthe back of your mind.
Like, yes, is she gonna do thisagain to me?
SPEAKER_02 (19:18):
You know, like for sure.
But it's definitely theundertone of distrust is always
gonna be there.
Yeah, yeah.
And I this isn't me saying thatI was an angel to be engaged to.
I mean, it I'm not saying thateverything was like perfect, I
but I I think I just assumed,oh, we're just fighting because
they're like wedding planning isstressful, and I I wasn't
(19:40):
necessarily seeing if she washaving this crisis that I wasn't
aware of.
Yeah.
Um but yeah, I my friend told meshe was like, I'm pretty sure I
got the invitation.
SPEAKER_01 (19:52):
The invitations are all but the logistics of that
mass suck.
SPEAKER_02 (19:56):
Yeah, and and just for context, we lived in the
guest house of her mom's housein Cambridge.
So it was like not only did youknow my fiance say she's not
coming home now, her mom is liketrimming her hedges, and I have
to like leave for my birthdayparty, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (20:15):
Wait, that's like that's like a a triple quadruple
whammy.
It's like, okay, so you have tomove.
That's that's its own thing.
You know, obviously you'remourning like the life that you
thought was gonna be happening,and then it's also like even
having to tell people that thiswas happening and like going
through that whole process andthen like letting people down
(20:35):
all of it.
Yeah, like what was the hardestpart about that?
SPEAKER_02 (20:38):
I mean, similar to coming out, like calling making
that phone call to my mom wasthe hardest, I think.
I and to be honest with you, Ican't even remember if I told my
parents or if I told my friendsfirst, but definitely making
that phone call to tell my momthat it wasn't happening, like
you could just tell she felt sobad for me.
(21:01):
So I would say that firstinitial phone call was was
horrible, but my mom really tookit upon herself to just tell all
of the family, so I never had toreally tell any of the guests.
And then I think I can't evenremember how I told all my
friends, but to be honest withyou, I only have like 10
friends, so that was like onegroup text.
(21:23):
Um and everyone was just supersupportive, like whatever
whatever you need.
The what one of the things thatreally was the most shitty was
having to re tell everybody justin my in my work life.
Um I remember I went into my Iwent into my boss's office and
(21:47):
she said in front of a bunch ofpeople, oh, did you change your
last name when you got married?
And I and I had to be like, um,I didn't actually get married.
And you could just hear thesilence throughout the the whole
office, like like, oh god,that's I feel so bad for her.
But then, yes, like you exactly,so many people.
(22:09):
I remember one of my aunts umcalled me and was like, I'm just
so proud of you.
This is such this isn't an easydecision.
It would have been in some wayseasier just to go through with
it, but it's so you you guyswere very brave in making that
decision.
And I also think people don'ttalk about breaking up with
(22:30):
someone who you actually stilllike as a person.
You know, like there was shejust wasn't ready to get
married.
She had stuff that she had towork through, but she's not a
terrible person, so you'rebreaking up this life of five
years for someone that you'relike, you're still like you suck
right now, but you're still likeyou were like my person for five
(22:54):
years, and now how are we gonnashare the dog?
Like, for what I know, like I Ididn't get cheated on.
There was there was no bigblowout fight.
It was it was there was no bigreason, just it wasn't it wasn't
gonna work, it wasn't gonnahappen.
So that's almost harder.
(23:14):
I almost just wish that yeah, insome ways you wish, like, just
tell me you cheated on me.
Like that would just make itthen.
I could just be angry.
Oh, totally.
It wouldn't have to be sad, Icould just be angry.
SPEAKER_00 (23:25):
1000%, yes.
SPEAKER_02 (23:26):
But yeah, everything really does happen for a reason.
There was definitely, you know,a black fog in my brain for a
while, and then the day ofAugust 30th, it was of course a
beautiful day.
But my friends are awesome, andwe all went to my friend's lake
house in Maine that day, and Idefinitely had like a lot of
(23:49):
drinks, and it was a beautifulday.
And like I was I was in the itwasn't come August 30th, I was
in bed crying, I was on a boatwith people that I love, you
know.
So it says a lot, probably.
So you know I as we know like Igot married this year, she got
married this year, she'sthriving in New Orleans.
(24:12):
So I'm just happy that we'reboth, you know, you just want to
see someone that you care aboutbe happy wherever they want to
be.
And if that wasn't with me, thatyou know, that's okay.
I'd rather know that ahead oftime.
Yeah, our girl Glennon would bevery proud of you.
SPEAKER_00 (24:28):
Our girl Glenn is clapping from the sidelines if
she is listening.
And if anyone is going through atough breakup and maybe saw a
marriage with this person thatthey are breaking up with or
calling off an engagement, justknow that there's something even
better on the other side for youand your life.
So let's get to that.
Let's talk about when we metBon.
(24:49):
Um, I am curious.
We didn't being the firstrelationship that Bon was in,
like, was there as any hesitancyon your side, you know?
Oh yeah.
Okay, yeah.
I'm curious about that.
So how did you guys meet andwhat was that like?
SPEAKER_02 (25:02):
Yeah, I I always feel I always I always felt kind
of bad because not that I wantedto consider myself like damage
goods, but I was still I stillhad a hard time telling people
that I was previously engaged.
I felt how soon after was it?
Um it was like two plus years,but uh Brianna was my first long
(25:26):
term, like my first serious kindof relationship like after all
the breakup.
Yeah.
So Brianna, Brianna met me andwas like so in, and I was like,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
Like you know, I've been I'vebeen I've been through it.
I'm gonna need a second.
Yeah.
Um, but we yeah, so we met onHinge.
(25:47):
Um, so we talked for about aweek.
It's kind of funny.
I had planned this whole thing,I knew I liked her via text, and
then uh it was one of those, oh,I hope when we meet in person
that they're actually as cool asthey are.
Yeah.
Um totally.
We had planned to meet inBrighton after at a brewery that
I picked out.
Turns out the brewery wasclosed, and so I just like
(26:08):
hopped in her car and we wentsomewhere else, and she's always
like, I can't believe you justgot in my car when we just met.
And I'm like, You're five, too.
Like, like, what are you reallywhat were you really gonna do to
me?
Um, absolutely.
So we we went, it's just likekind of funny because the the
restaurant that we went to, Ifound out later that we sat in
(26:29):
velvet chairs, and I don't knowif it's come up, but Brianna
like can't touch velvet.
Oh, yeah.
So she's always like, I sat in avelvet chair for you.
And then and then our seconddate, we actually made it to to
the brewery.
It was just I it sounds socheesy, but it was really like
electric.
Um, just like oh, like I've beenwaiting all week to see you.
(26:52):
We we were just like so happy inour little bubble, and then
after that, we laid on thegrass, like a right on the
Charles River, and I don't thinkI've ever seen her lay on grass
without a blanket since like sobetween between the velvet
chairs and the the grass.
I mean, I should have known shewas all in from that, but yeah,
(27:12):
I was definitely more I wasdefinitely that girl that was
like I don't want you to seeother people, I won't see other
people, but we can't we can't beexclusive right now.
Like if we're and I we were justtalking about it at a party at
that.
I was definitely in the mindsetof if we never make it official,
we never have to break up.
Because I just didn't think Icould go through that again.
(27:36):
So we ended up making itofficial in August.
So we met in like end of May,and we were together officially
by August.
You know, it was official beforethen, whether I admit it or not.
SPEAKER_00 (27:47):
Yeah, I was just if Bon's touching all the textures,
that grass and velvet, you know,she's in.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (27:53):
And she like she only found out a little ways in
that I had a cat, and she's liketerrified of cats, and it's real
love because rest in peace, butshe let my cat, Gracie, live
with us for three years beforeshe passed.
So yeah, she lets you live withTaylor.
She doesn't listen to Taylor.
(28:14):
I know.
SPEAKER_00 (28:14):
I mean, I'm not really sure what she's doing,
but but I am curious about whatyou said, like with the damaged
goods comment.
Me as a single woman, if I wasdating someone who had been
engaged, I don't think I wouldhave any type of hesitation
about that.
I think I would just be morecurious about what happened, but
not like that's a red flag.
SPEAKER_02 (28:34):
Yeah, I think great, and that this that was about six
years ago, you know.
So I think or we've beentogether for four, but all of
that happened six-ish years ago.
And it's taken me a while tokind of feel not so much proud,
but to speak about it openlybecause I don't know, I it was
(28:56):
just a hard thing for me to wrapmy head around.
I kind of felt like a failurealmost.
Or maybe someone sees a red flagabout me, you know, like, oh,
what what did she what did shedo wrong that she, you know, had
a broken engagement.
I think I just saw it more assomeone's gonna think
something's wrong with me versusme feeling almost empowered by
(29:17):
my experience.
SPEAKER_00 (29:19):
Totally.
SPEAKER_02 (29:20):
Even now, um, being in our mid-30s, if you dated
someone who was 40, you couldsay, Oh, I met someone and
they're divorced.
And I wouldn't think anything ofit.
It's like, oh yeah, I mean,someone in their 40s, like, that
makes sense.
Yeah.
So it just took me a while tofeel comfortable with, and not
that it defines me, but justknowing that's part of my past.
SPEAKER_00 (29:40):
No, totally, totally.
I mean, I think that's like sonatural.
It's like one of those thingswhere it's like other people
aren't thinking that.
But of course, you know, we allthink of our internal stuff,
like think differently about it.
SPEAKER_02 (29:51):
So I definitely had the stigma on my on myself and
didn't see it as um shit, shemust be like really strong if.
She's been through that ingrief.
SPEAKER_00 (30:02):
Oh my gosh.
We are like we're literally theworst, the meanest to ourselves.
It's crazy.
Like you would never say that toyour friend.
It's just we're the worst.
Good reminder.
Um, okay.
What is your favorite thingabout Vaughn?
And then we definitely need tohear a couple stories um about
I'm very curious about beingAcademy nurse.
Like, I need to know what thatentails, but what is your
favorite thing about Vaughn?
SPEAKER_01 (30:22):
This was like first, first, really quick.
This was like my favorite partabout Vaughn's episode.
I was smiling ear to ear whenshe was talking about it was so
beautiful.
SPEAKER_02 (30:30):
So pressure Vaughn.
I know.
Like, no pressure.
Let me let like look at my notesright now.
No.
Um, I would say my favoritething is that it's always felt
right.
And she she really rides for herpeople for definitely for lack
of a better term.
I've never once like wavered inour relationship.
I've never once worried whereshe stands.
(30:51):
She's almost like black andwhite to a fault.
I always say she's very boringto fight with because she's
like, I'll talk to you whenyou're ready to calm down, you
know.
And I'm like, come on, just likejust give me something.
Yeah, like she is one of themost caring people that I've
ever met.
Things nothing goes unnoticed oranything like that.
(31:12):
And that's the same for ourrelationship too.
Like, I love that.
She knows she knows when I walkin the door if I'm like ready to
talk or if I need a minute.
Um, I'm not as good about thatbecause I could just talk all
the time.
But um and one of I mean, getyourself a partner that if I
work every third weekend, I comehome Sunday night.
(31:33):
We just I have a brand new, likerefinished hutch, like in our
kitchen that she just shedoesn't.
SPEAKER_01 (31:39):
No, so jealous.
SPEAKER_00 (31:40):
So jealousy so nice, and that's so true.
Like the steadfastness of likeshe's just like a rock.
What what a nice thing to be ina relationship and have and not
have like everyone fightsobviously, but like not have any
of those concerns or likeinsecurities.
SPEAKER_02 (31:53):
I think coming from what I had experienced in the
past, this is this is what Ineeded.
I could not yeah, I I don't Idon't know how people can be
with people where they don'tknow where their partner is or
they haven't written them backand it's been two hours.
I mean, I think I'm more thatpartner for Brianna when she's
like, How do you have asmartwatch in a phone and your
(32:16):
phone still goes to voicemail?
And I'm like, I don't know, I'mcalling you now.
We're very much opposite in somany ways, which it really works
for us.
SPEAKER_00 (32:28):
Like it's well top couple.
And we loved hearing uh yourside of the story after talking
to Bon and now hearing, youknow, your perspective of how
you guys met and your favoritethings you love about her.
Um, we're gonna transition intoMelissa's work life.
So, as we said, you're apediatric nurse at children's
(32:49):
and you are also academy nurse.
So, can we start there?
For those who don't know, whatdoes academy nurse do?
Like, and what is ketamine?
SPEAKER_02 (32:57):
Um, ketamine, it's it's kind of something that's
coming up.
You'll see it more in the news,unfortunately.
It was talked about more withlike Matthew Perry using like
ketamine not safely prescribedand stuff like that.
Um, but I work at a psychiatricclinic that does ketamine
infusion.
So ketamine is a drug commonlyused for like sedation or
(33:20):
sometimes for pain management,but that research has been
proven that it can help accessreceptors in your brain that
common antidepressants likecan't reach.
So a lot of the patients that Isee have tried every type of
antidepressant, still eitherlike still have depression or
have really bad side effects.
(33:42):
They might have anxiety, panicattacks, OCD, Tourette's,
trauma.
So they'll come to they'll cometo the clinic, they do it uh
evaluation.
We see the treatment rooms thatwe are nicer than anyone's
houses.
It's just an old house inCambridge.
And you basically, my role is Iplace their IV, we do their
(34:03):
vitals.
Everyone has a dose that's basedon weight, and you can increase
or decrease your dose based onparameters that are set by the
doctors.
So basically, you see me, wechat.
I have a lot of regular patientsat the moment, and then your you
put an eye mask on, a weightedblanket, noise canceling,
headphones, recline, and theninfusion goes over 40 minutes.
(34:27):
So things might come up that arereally pleasant, might be bad.
People's experiences are sodifferent no matter what day of
the week it is, what their doseis.
No infusion is the same.
So we recommend when peoplestart that they do a series of
six to eight within a month-ish,just to help like reset your
(34:49):
brain.
SPEAKER_00 (34:50):
When you're in so when you're in that 40-minute
infusion, are you high?
Like are you like hallucinating?
SPEAKER_02 (34:55):
So you're in like a hallucinogenic state.
So it's not it's not likeanesthetic.
You kind of people you're kindof like tripping almost.
SPEAKER_01 (35:04):
Okay, microdosing?
Is that a little bit, a littlebit, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (35:08):
Some people talk to me the whole time while they're
tripping.
Some people put their headphoneson and chill and they do their
thing, they get up and leave.
They the clinic also offers uhketamine assisted
psychotherapies, so there's alicensed therapist or social
worker that will do the wholesession with the patients.
(35:30):
I am by no means like a licensedtherapist or social worker.
Some people I think see me asthat, and we chat and I just
help them through whatever thatcomes up in their infusion.
Um, so it's a really interestingjob.
I've met professors, teachers,pilots, so it's all like people
(35:50):
that have a whole spectrum ofpeople.
SPEAKER_01 (35:53):
It's like people that feel like like or that
regular like antidepressantsjust don't work.
SPEAKER_02 (35:59):
Yeah.
Some usually the people that arecoming to us, they they're like,
I've tried everything else.
Yeah.
Because it's it's umunfortunately it's not covered
by insurance for most insuranceplans.
So people are paying out ofpocket for this treatment that
they hope helps them get out ofor get through whatever they're
(36:19):
going through.
SPEAKER_01 (36:20):
That's so crazy.
So are you supposed to likeunlock things in that 40
minutes, or is it more like itjust kind of goes on in the
background after it's foreverybody?
SPEAKER_02 (36:29):
It's it's kind of different.
Some people start the infusionswith a mantra or an intention.
Some people just this is part oftheir routine.
They come every Wednesday, andjust having the medication in
their system relieves theirpanic symptoms, relieves their
OCD symptoms.
So the medication helps you evenafter you leave the room.
SPEAKER_00 (36:51):
That's like have you heard of um, I feel like this is
a big thing in like thecelebrity world, ayahuasca.
SPEAKER_03 (36:57):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (36:58):
I don't know how it works, but I think it's a
hallucinogenic.
And people say that they go inand they have like an intention
and it unlocks, it helps them.
I've heard it described asalmost like you're floating
above your life and can kind ofsee it objecting.
SPEAKER_02 (37:10):
People have seen people have told me they've seen
themselves above their body.
They they've told me thatthey've they have been in this
in the room that we're in, butthey saw themselves floating
above their own body.
SPEAKER_03 (37:24):
Yes, weird.
SPEAKER_02 (37:26):
And then someone someone came out of an infusion
once and really thought she wasdead.
Like she really thought she diedduring the infusion because in
her trip, like she left her bodyand she came too and was like,
My ears are humming, like I I'mdead, like I'm definitely dead
right now.
Oh I mean, some days it's soeasy, and everyone's chill and
(37:49):
gets their infusions and leaves,and then some days someone comes
to and thinks that they're dead,and you have to know in that
moment what you're gonna what tosay to help bring someone back
down from huge panic.
SPEAKER_01 (38:02):
That is so does it ever so it sounds like it does,
like it can like backfire.
Yeah, like I'm thinking likewhen you take an edible, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (38:09):
Like sometimes like people have just like a bad
hands, um or if you're goingthrough something in your life
before you sit in the chair,that stress from your life can
definitely infiltrate yourjourney.
So if you if you're coming offthe train or got into a fight
with your Uber driver, you know,and then you come sit in the
chair with me, it's like, ohgod, I hope that this goes okay
(38:33):
for them today.
Everyone's appointment is anhour, is an hour and 15 minutes.
So the infusion goes over 40,but we allot time to like get
you in the chair, get yousettled, talk about your dose,
place the ID, stuff like that,and then want to give you enough
time on the back end to recover.
We don't want you to be likesuper out of it.
SPEAKER_00 (38:53):
Has anyone told you like a deep dark secret, you
think?
SPEAKER_02 (38:57):
Um someone, someone who he's like an awesome person.
He always chats with me duringand he always goes, you know,
all the way out there and comesback, and he came back too and
was like, wait, so we're not inlove.
Oh my god.
No, you were just talking about,you know, your wife and your
(39:19):
son, we're not in love.
Yeah.
Um, that's so funny.
No one's really told me like adeep dark secret.
A really cool one that I didwitness was this very nice woman
has lost both of her parentsthat she was taking care of, and
in the journey, she was able tolike say bye to her parents
again, um, which was reallycool.
(39:41):
That's so nice.
Um, so she like I heard her liketalking to them and saying bye
and I miss you, stuff like that.
SPEAKER_00 (39:48):
So oh my gosh, that's emotional.
It was really cool.
SPEAKER_02 (39:51):
Um, and then a funny one was this when this younger
girl comes in with herboyfriend, and at the end of
like mid-infusion, she justlooks at her boyfriend and goes,
Where the fuck is Trinidad andTobago?
And I was like, So then when theinfusion was done, her boyfriend
was like, Oh yeah, we werelooking at like Atlas and is on
(40:14):
our way here.
So I guess her trip, she waslike going, but it was just so
funny.
She was so silent the wholeinfusion, and then she's like,
Where the fuck is Turnie downtoday?
So naturally I come naturally Icome home and I like tell
Brianna like the funny ones.
So last night, last night shewas like, You don't have to tell
them about that one.
SPEAKER_00 (40:34):
So that's such a good one.
I mean, I'm not gonna lie, likeI don't feel like I suffer from
depressive symptoms, but I am socurious about stuff like this.
Like, what would happen?
I'm curious about what I woulduncover, you know?
SPEAKER_02 (40:46):
I know.
I've never tried it.
So many of the patients ask meif I've done it, and if I I'm
sure I could go through all thevenues to get my a cell phone
infusion, but what's stopping meis that I get such bad motion
sickness that I cannot be thegirl that throws up at her own
work on ketamine, you know.
(41:08):
I just that's that's what I'm Ican barely ride shotgun.
I cannot do ketamine.
SPEAKER_01 (41:14):
Well yeah, isn't it like kind of part of like
anesthesia or something?
Like what puts you under?
Or that makes sense then becauseyou can throw from that.
unknown (41:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (41:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (41:21):
Wow.
SPEAKER_02 (41:23):
It's a really cool I used to work at children's with
one of the nurses, two of thenurses that work there.
So they knew that I worked as apsych nurse prior.
So they asked me if I wanted tocome on with them.
So that's how I got the job.
SPEAKER_00 (41:37):
So and so you're actively doing both jobs, right?
Like ketamine.
Okay, seem kind of opposite.
SPEAKER_02 (41:43):
So Wednesdays, Wednesdays I I have my ketamine
days, and then I work at thehospital um my other days.
So it's a nice combo.
SPEAKER_00 (41:53):
How like transitioning to that job
working at children's, um, howhas that experience been for
you?
Did you always know you wantedto work in that field and
pediatric being a pediatricnurse?
No, honestly.
SPEAKER_02 (42:08):
Um at children's I work in the float pool.
So basically I'm trained fromthat's okay.
Um, I'm trained from the ERbasically all the way.
I work almost everywhere atchildren's besides the ICUs.
So the ICU has their own floatpool, but I work like psych, I
(42:28):
work ER, oncology, surgery,their infusion clinic, their
colonoscopy clinic, like alldifferent things.
So I basically report to anoffice each day, and then they
tell me where I'm working thatday.
So I've been doing that foreight years, but I was a
pediatric psych nurse for twoand a half, and then I did
(42:51):
pediatric long-term care, kindof like almost nursing homish
type care for a year and a half,and then I ended up on
children's.
But I honestly thought I wasgonna do geriatrics.
But in 2000, in 2013, thepediatric psych job was the only
interview and callback I had.
(43:11):
So I said, well, I don't wantto, I don't want to move home.
I don't want to move home, andthis job is in Brighton.
So, and all my friends justmoved to Brookline, so I guess
I'm finding an apartment inBrighton and working on this
psych unit.
And honestly, it was like thebest decision I've ever made.
SPEAKER_00 (43:27):
I have always known from a young age that I would
not do well in medicine, sayingwas never a science girl.
I have a hard time with anythingbodily.
I have like the utmost respectand admiration for people who
work in medicine in general, butthen specifically to work with
children is like a whole notherskill set.
(43:47):
So I feel like an obviousquestion, maybe, that people who
are not in your world have islike, how do you do it?
Like, how do you cope with theheavy emotional toll?
SPEAKER_02 (43:58):
I think being in the float pool now, I think has
given me longevity as a bedsidenurse that every day for me is
different.
I don't know if I could still bea bedside nurse if I took care
of the same kid with cancer,their whole cancer journey or
their whole heart surgery to tofind out something terrible
(44:18):
happened.
For me, it's I can appreciatethe good days that are the days
that are good.
I so love them, and the daysthat are bad.
I have I'm I have the ability toknow that I'm not going back
there the next day.
Um I also think it's easier forme right now because I don't
have kids that I can have thattype of separation.
(44:39):
But like put me in the waitingroom at the vet office with
Lloyd and see the little can'tlike see the little candle on
that someone's putting their dogdown and I'm sobbing.
You know, like I think at myeveryone's brain just has their
way of compartmentalizing theirstress in different ways.
And I have a good barrier ofleaving work at work and home
(45:01):
home.
With that being said, though,the sad moments will come in at
the worst times.
Yeah, like I was thinking ofone, like you think you process
things, and then you're like,oh, maybe I didn't.
Like baby calling that therapistis a good idea.
Yeah.
But um years ago when I wasworking on the psych unit, we
(45:22):
had this little boy who was infoster care who only really ate
ketchup sandwiches because thatwas the only thing that he his
family fed him basically.
And I was off, I was in NewHampshire with my family at a
wedding, and we're at this hotelat the Continental Breakfast,
and I just start crying.
And my mom's like, What are youcrying about?
(45:43):
And I was like, I had to tellthem that like here we were at a
nice hotel, and this kid's onlyeating like ketchup sandwiches,
right?
Or I'll see my niece and it'llremind me of like a kid I took
care of, and then it comes out.
SPEAKER_00 (45:57):
Yeah.
Superhuman.
SPEAKER_02 (45:59):
I mean, like, yeah, that's like but it's because at
work you see sad things, andthen the call bell for your
other patient goes off, and youdon't have time to process what
you just witnessed or what thiskid just told his mom because
you you're doing 25 otherthings, but then that comment
(46:20):
that that kid made to his mom isgonna come to you when you're at
friggin' Marshall's.
Oh my god, right, yeah.
That's you know at that long asscheckout line with 17 goodies,
and then you're like, maybe I doneed those heart-shaped peanut
butter things that I can't findthe expiration on them.
I can't find the expiration,yeah.
(46:41):
You just have to appreciate,like, you know, the happy
moments because there are a lotof sad ones.
SPEAKER_01 (46:47):
You must have such great like perspective on the
world.
Um, yeah, I try.
Well, it just like you'reconstantly reminded that you
know there's less fortunatepeople or people people that are
so.
SPEAKER_02 (46:58):
Oh, yeah.
Well, I think one of yourquestions, Coco, was like, what
how do you think this like willmake me as a parent?
And I I can't tell if I'm gonnabe like a crazy parent or a
really chill parent becauseBrianna will come home with all
different ailments and I'll belike, You're fine, take a tile
(47:21):
at all, you know.
For kids, it's I've seen the kidthat's five that's covered in
bruises that finds out he hasleukemia.
So it's like if I have a kidwho's five with bruises because
he plays on the playground,yeah.
I I hope my brain doesn't alwaysthink the worst thing.
Or you know, I've I've met kidsthat have come in because they
have headaches and they find outthey have a brain tumor.
(47:43):
So it's like how I need tofigure out a way to separate
that.
Um but I don't know, we'll see.
When we have kids, I might belike, you're fine, wash your
hands.
Yeah.
Like, you don't know what momsees at work.
Stop crying, you know.
Like, I don't who knows how I'llbe.
SPEAKER_00 (48:00):
That is true.
Like, what is your is yourknowledge and your work
experience gonna like hurt youor help you?
Or maybe that's not the rightphrase, but like yeah, help you.
No, yeah, yeah, yeah,definitely.
But just like what Melissa wassaying about, you know, am I
gonna reach for something that'slike maybe an overreaction, you
know?
Yeah, but totally, totally.
SPEAKER_01 (48:20):
Yeah, yeah, but like other people just Google stuff
and then overreact.
SPEAKER_02 (48:24):
Yeah, but being married to Brianna, hopefully
with her being so black andwhite, she's gonna be she'll be
able to talk me off the ledge,you know.
SPEAKER_01 (48:33):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Damn girl.
You can it's so rewarding.
I wish I was saving lives.
I tell everyone at work all thistime.
I'm like, everyone's so stressedand like pointing fingers, blah
blah blah.
It's like we're acting like it'sthe end of the world.
It's like we're not savinglives.
SPEAKER_02 (48:46):
Well, you actually aren't gonna have to do that.
Don't think I save lives everyday because I sent a Snapchat
yesterday because my patientonly wanted red popsicles, but
at children's the popsicles, Idon't know why they don't make
the packages clear.
SPEAKER_00 (49:04):
Oh, so you don't know.
SPEAKER_02 (49:05):
But I had popsicles spread out all over the ER
kitchen, and I'm like so glad Igot my master's degree to try to
find the road popsicle in theOh, welcome to parenting.
SPEAKER_01 (49:16):
That's parenting.
Totally.
SPEAKER_02 (49:20):
Yeah, I'm not saving lives every day.
Don't don't give me that muchcredit.
SPEAKER_01 (49:24):
Well, you're you're contributing to it.
Yeah.
And you're helping people.
I feel like when I was in thehospital, like when I was after
having a uh my kids, the nurseslike do way more than the
doctors.
The nurses are like totally theones that are there for you and
are that like you're talking toand who actually like know you
and know your name.
I feel like the doctors are justlike in and out, in and out.
SPEAKER_00 (49:46):
I agree.
Well, this has been so much fun.
Is there anything we didn't getto talk about?
Anything that we missed or wasthat anything you want to share?
SPEAKER_02 (49:56):
Well, I did Google all of Taylor Swift's songs by
album because I was waiting foryou to ask and I wanted to be
prepared.
I was gonna ask.
Um, but I've realized that Iprefer Taylor Swift to be
depressed versus in love andhappy.
(50:16):
I don't know if that's a hottake, but I was going through
all of I don't know, RollingStones, like Taylor Swift
albums.
And I didn't she has like fourdifferent renditions of like
every I'm like, what what aboutjust like the red album?
Not red 2.0, you know.
I'm not that much of a Swifty,but my list that I provide that
(50:39):
I'll provide is probably myfirst, my favorite would be All
Too Well, classic, can't go forSwift, yeah, Breeze, yep,
Forever and Always.
Oh, that's a good one, LastKiss.
And I almost and I almost do.
And I was like, wow, the breastTaylor Swift is where it's at
(51:01):
for me.
SPEAKER_00 (51:02):
I think a lot of Swifties will agree with that
take.
I will say, I almost it's so Ilove hearing Swifties like
favorites because I almost dohas been like off my radar
forever.
I haven't listened to that song.
I might go listen to it liketonight.
SPEAKER_02 (51:16):
Yeah, like breathe, same with breathe.
That's a great one.
Yeah, because I think those werelike I think that was also kind
of around my coming out years oryou know, back and forth
relationship kind of years.
So, and then if as far as thenew album goes, I would say wish
list is my favorite, but I justI don't I don't think she needs
(51:37):
a dollar sign in the test.
That's my other hot take.
Yeah.
I did listen to the new album,and my other opinion of it was
like I think Travis hyped it upto be something that it wasn't
because he was like, Oh, yeah,like the guys in the locker room
are gonna be playing thesebangers or whatever.
(51:57):
And I listened to I listened toit when I was cooking dinner and
I was like, there's no way thatI believe though that he
actually believes that.
SPEAKER_01 (52:05):
Like he believed that when he said it.
SPEAKER_00 (52:08):
Yeah.
No, but that's so true.
Like the Kansas City Chiefs arenot listening to Fate of Ophelia
while they're getting ready tobeat the bells.
SPEAKER_01 (52:17):
Yeah, or whatever.
He wishes they were listening toWood.
SPEAKER_00 (52:20):
Oh, 1000.
SPEAKER_02 (52:23):
I yeah, I am glad that she's like she's getting
some.
So that's good.
Like, but uh I um I hope she hasyou know another depression
album to come out, you know, forthe winter.
We'll see.
SPEAKER_00 (52:35):
Yeah.
I know she's gonna have to goback to some of that folklore
evermore songwriting style ifshe's because it seems like
she's not gonna be personallythere.
I know.
SPEAKER_01 (52:48):
I know.
I struggle with that too.
I'm like, oh, I like Loki likeDepressed Taylor better than
Happy Taylor.
And I don't want that.
But I'm thinking, I mean, maybeI think she's entering a new
phase in life.
She's getting married, she haskids, like she can make like no,
it's not gonna all be rainbowsand happiness.
Like it there could be likedeep, difficult songs about
parenting.
Yeah, that's interesting.
(53:09):
I'm very interested to see whatcomes out of her parenting era.
Very interested.
SPEAKER_00 (53:13):
Yeah, me too.
Me too.
Um, great takes though.
We love your list.
And yeah, we just want to send abig thank you, Melissa, for
coming on.
You have been such a greatguest.
It's been such a great episodeand a fun episode.
I'm like, yeah, so yeah, yeah.
So we hope that you enjoyed itand that you'll come back one
day.
SPEAKER_02 (53:30):
Oh, yeah.
And if anyone has any questionsabout coming out or calling off
an engagement, I I mean, I hopeno one's going through that
right now, but feel free to DMme whatever.
Like I'm always open to chat.
SPEAKER_00 (53:44):
Totally.
Do you have any like quickadvice if there is someone who's
maybe thinking about coming outstarting there that you would
share?
SPEAKER_02 (53:52):
Um one of the things that I had thought of was if
well, it was more so if ifyou're dating someone who's out
and you're not, just to havesome conversations about where
you guys like stand with that.
If you're not ready to come out,but you still want to be in a
queer relationship, just likecheck in with your partner who
(54:12):
might be already openly outbecause there's if there's you
know, you want to bringeverything that you can to the
table, but when you're stillcloseted, it's hard to be fully
there for someone.
And I think when I was stillcloseted in queer relationships,
like I definitely have regretsas to how I treated people just
because I was protecting my ownself from it was like my own
(54:36):
fears.
But my only other advice is likenothing has to be black and
white, like go kiss a girl, gokiss a guy, figure out if that's
for you.
If you're if you're thinkingabout it, you know, like if you
have this like gut feeling thatyou feel you need to explore,
like go for it.
You're never gonna know unlessyou sigh.
(54:57):
Yeah, um, and then whether thatopens a new door for you, that's
great.
Or if you're like, nope, I'mgood, at least now you know.
No okay.
Similar to what Brianna saidabout just buying a suit, like
kiss that girl if you want, justkiss that girl if you want to.
What's the worst that'shappening?
SPEAKER_00 (55:15):
No, I love that.
Wear the suit, wear the suit.
I love it.
Uh, I forgot about that.
That we talked about that.
That was a great takeaway.
SPEAKER_02 (55:22):
Yeah, but yeah, nothing every you know, nothing
has just because you know youhave feelings, like nothing has
to be black and white.
Yeah, everybody, everybody istheir own person, and everyone's
figuring this all out life ingeneral, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (55:37):
Everyone, everyone's being a human for the first
time.
Yeah, so I love that.
Thanks so much for coming on,Melissa.
This was a blast.
Um, we hope everyone enjoyed it.
We will be back on Friday withanother episode.
SPEAKER_01 (55:51):
Make sure to like us, comment, tag us, uh, friend
us on social media at TikTok andInstagram at Stitch and Pod.
Go to our website, Stitch andPodcast.com, and tell everyone
you know about us.
Thanks so much, everyone, forlistening.
SPEAKER_00 (56:05):
Thanks again.
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