November 19, 2025 • 42 mins
Kristen and Brittany welcome Kristen's big sister Melissa to the pod to share a candid look at her life as a young mom.
Melissa shares the raw, honest story of getting pregnant with her eldest daughter at the age of 22, navigating the initial shock, telling friends and family, moving back home with her husband (then boyfriend) Ross, facing judgment, and building the foundation for her life today. She highlights the relatable differences in raising her four children— two teenagers daughters ages 18 and 15, and 11-year old twin boys—and offers empowering advice for young parents today: "Block out the noise." The episode wraps up with a look at Kristen and Melissa’s unique sisterly bond, and begins with a must-hear conversation for all Patriots fans on the social media account that's generating absolute gold in the comments.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Ready?
SPEAKER_02 (00:01):
Ready.
SPEAKER_01 (00:02):
Hey everyone.
Welcome back to the latestepisode of Sis Nitchin.
It's your host, Kristen.
SPEAKER_02 (00:07):
And Brittany, get ready for the best part of your
day.
SPEAKER_01 (00:11):
And it's Wednesday.
You know what that means.
We're back with a guest episode.
I just need to, I don't know ifI can properly set the stage for
just how excited, both of us,but how excited I am for this
episode because excited.
We have my favorite girl on.
We have my big sis Melissa.
(00:31):
And this has been a little bitof a long time coming.
I'm not going to say that we hadto convince you to come on.
I'm not going to not say that.
SPEAKER_03 (00:40):
I'm here.
I'm excited.
I'm ready.
SPEAKER_01 (00:42):
Yeah.
Um, really, what we're going totalk about today is a little
sister talk, you know, just likeme and Melissa and kind of our
background, but really the focusis going to be on Melissa and
her family and specifically herfirstborn, Ava.
Um, Melissa and her husband Rosshad Ava at the ages of 23 and
25.
We're just going to talk aboutwhat that experience was like
(01:04):
for her, you know, and also likehaving three other children, you
now have four, maybe some of thedifferences in how you raised
your kids based on what stage oflife you were in.
Before we get into this, I havea quick topic that I just need
to bring up.
Melissa brought this to myattention last week.
The best new follow for any NewEngland Patriots fan out there,
Melissa.
I see you nodding your head.
(01:25):
I know who you're gonna say, andI love her.
And I love the comments.
I am obsessed.
Drake May's wife and MichaelMay.
Oh.
SPEAKER_03 (01:33):
Oh my god, Brittany, you have to follow her.
The comments are just gold.
They're so funny.
What does she like do?
She's is like a very she bakesand you know, she does her
outfit of the game day.
Like nothing crazy.
It's just the comments arehysterical.
They're all supportive, they'reall positive, but they're just
(01:53):
really funny.
SPEAKER_01 (01:55):
Literally, it's like she is now the new first lady of
new of New England.
And basically every othercomment to like Melissa's point
is just keep on baking, keepDrake May well fed, we're we're
relying on you.
SPEAKER_03 (02:11):
My favorite one is because Zell never baked for us.
Oh my god.
I doubt Zell bakes.
And then one of the othercomments was this guy, and he's
like, I'm not saying you don'tlove Drake May, Ann Michael, but
I'm just saying there's no wayyou love him more than me.
SPEAKER_01 (02:31):
Wow.
It's pretty good.
Well, I told Brittany about itthis weekend, and Britt was
like, Where do they live, youthink?
SPEAKER_03 (02:38):
And oh, Westwood.
That's the rumor I heard.
I heard that he's right in thesame neighborhood as um Josh
McDaniels.
Oh, you know what?
SPEAKER_02 (02:48):
That makes sense.
Yeah.
Mac Jones used to live inCanton, but that didn't go so
well.
So yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:54):
It didn't go so hot.
But let's get into the meat andbones of today's episode.
We're gonna set the stage alittle bit.
So Melissa and I are six yearsapart.
She's six years older than me.
And we grew up in Canton, butyou really grew up until what,
age of 10?
SPEAKER_03 (03:10):
I lived in, yes.
So I lived in Randolph until Iwas in fifth grade.
You were three.
So we moved.
Yeah.
So in the middle of fifth grade,we moved from Randolph to
Canton.
And then I was obviously inCanton until I don't know if you
count college years, but was inCanton until I moved to Walpole
about 17 years ago.
(03:31):
Yeah, that's crazy.
Tough age to move.
SPEAKER_01 (03:34):
I know, right?
Yeah.
We like to say that basically wethink our parents moved because
my dad's best friend lived inCanton.
SPEAKER_03 (03:42):
Oh, that's 100% reason.
Well, we had to be done atRandolph because Randolph had
terrible, terrible schools.
And so we were gonna moveanyway, but it's 100% Canton
because our dad's best friend.
unknown (03:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (03:56):
Thousand percent.
SPEAKER_01 (03:57):
Um, and that's where they still are today.
So we lived there, we grew upthere, our parents still lived
there, and then Melissa went toProvidence College for college,
which is where you met your nowhusband.
And that kind of brings us upto, you know, around this time
that we're gonna start with.
So tell us a little bit likeabout what your life was like
when you first got pregnant.
You were graduated from PC, likewhere were you living?
(04:19):
What were you doing?
Kind of set the stage.
SPEAKER_03 (04:21):
Yeah, sure.
So, you know, like most girlsafter you graduate college, you
have a a dime in a dozen, dime adozen apartments.
I had I lived in Brighton withthree of my girlfriends.
Ross and I, we we likeoriginally met in in college,
but we didn't really startdating until God, I can't even
like remember, but maybe mysenior year, towards the end of
(04:41):
my senior year or so.
So things were just kind oflike, you know, any typical
22-year-old just having funliving in Brighton with carting
it up.
SPEAKER_01 (04:49):
I think you and your bestie Jen.
Shout out, Jen.
SPEAKER_03 (04:52):
Yes.
It was it you two together andyou took a pregnancy test, and
like what was Yep, we were inour apartment in Brighton, and I
got so I I took a pregnancytest, came back positive,
immediately called Jen becauseshe is my best friend, and
obviously.
I I don't even know if she washome or when she came home, but
she came home with about 10other pregnancy tests, and I
(05:15):
took every single one of them.
Of course, of course it turnsout all were very clearly
positive.
So yeah, so Jen was the veryfirst person to find out how we
were like shocked, right?
You were 23.
I was 22, yes.
I was floored.
I was like, I you know, you kindof knew it.
I was late.
(05:35):
It was, you know, all the signswere there.
So it was just like as soon as Itook the test and it came back
positive, like immediately.
And of course, like, you know,I've taken pregnancy tests since
then, having three morechildren.
And when you're pregnant, itcomes back positive real fast.
And so there was no doubt.
Uh, it was I was definitelyhaving a having a kid up.
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (05:53):
You were very clearly 10 times positive.
SPEAKER_02 (05:56):
Yeah.
It's so funny.
I always tell the story, but Iremember Kristen telling me you
were pregnant with Ava inSpanish class when we were
seniors in high school.
Like I literally remember itexactly.
But at the time I was like, ohyeah, Melissa's like, you know,
she's still young, but likeshe's older.
Like, that's you know, not thatcrazy.
But then I got to be like 22 andI was like, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_03 (06:15):
That is crazy.
It's so true.
I was incredibly young.
So true.
Thank God I was out of college.
SPEAKER_01 (06:23):
Well, it's funny because Ava now, you know, she's
a senior in high school.
And I remember around this timelast year, I said to her, I was
like, you know, sweetie, like Iwas your age when I found out
you were coming into this world.
She was floored.
She was like, What?
I was like, Yeah, girl, I'm sixyears younger than your mom.
I mean, do the math.
I was in high school.
So you find out that you'repregnant.
(06:45):
How, like, what was your feelingabout telling friends and
family?
I remember very specifically, wewere downstairs in the futon
room, just you and I, when youtold me the news.
And I can't remember how youstarted to tell me, but you kind
of like set it up and there wasa moment of anticipation.
And then you were like, we'rehaving a baby.
And I was like, oh my God, andfreaked out.
(07:07):
But how did you feel approachingthose conversations?
And were there any reactionsthat you were surprised by?
SPEAKER_03 (07:14):
Telling my friends was not a problem.
I had a good group ofgirlfriends from college, and of
course, Jen and my and myroommates, I think they were all
in the same boat as you know, aseverybody.
They were shocked, but it wasn'tanything negative.
It was just more like, what areyou gonna do?
Like we gotta, we have a lot ofdecisions to make real fast.
Again, Ross and I, we we weredating, and of course, serious,
(07:36):
but we were really only beendating for maybe a year.
We weren't living together, wehad no talks yet of getting
married.
We of course didn't have thefinancial stability that you
have when you're 22.
Who does?
You're just trying to find acareer, and your priority is
definitely going out.
You know, how many nights canyou afford to go out that week?
SPEAKER_01 (07:53):
Oh my god, I was overdrafting my account left and
right at 22.
But yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (07:57):
So it so telling the friends, it was just like we
immediately knew we had toreshape our minds.
And my girlfriends were super,super supportive.
One of my girlfriends, becauseyou don't know, right?
I mean, like this was the firsttime I was pregnant.
I didn't have anyone to talk toabout like what should I be
expecting.
And so I didn't know if Rossshould be coming to the
appointments with me or if Ishould be doing this alone.
(08:18):
So my girlfriend Carleen camewith me to my OBGYN appointments
with me.
Like, I had a I had a crew, Ihad my girlfriends who were
ridiculously supportive from dayone.
Family was a little different.
I would say, you know, somepeople were really supportive
and other people were not.
I think my our dad, he was justso taken aback.
And he he told my grandmotherbefore I could because he felt
(08:42):
that he needed to give her aheads up because we were going
down the cape to tell mygrandparents, yes.
And our grandparents, sorry,Kristen, I keep messing that up,
to tell Nana and grandpa that Iwas pregnant, and he had already
told Nana.
So she called me out and she'slike, Oh, you ready to tell
people?
And she was mad.
And I was like, Yeah, I can tellpeople.
And she called up my Uncle Jimmyright then and there.
(09:02):
I was like, Here you go.
SPEAKER_00 (09:04):
She did not.
Nancy, I did not know any ofthis.
SPEAKER_03 (09:11):
Yep.
So I was put on the spot, had totell my uncle who was like, he's
like, okay.
Had to tell his wife, my uh uhDeb, who was very nice about it.
And so, yeah, so there'sdefinitely some people who were
more supportive.
Some of their reactions, some ofthose people who who might have
been a little less supportive,it sticks with you.
It's it's it's harsh.
(09:32):
I mean, you know, even thoughyou're bringing a baby in this
world and we are happy, therewasn't many congratulations, and
oh my gosh, I'm so excited foryou.
It was a lot of concern.
SPEAKER_01 (09:43):
It's so crazy to hear this because not to make
this about me, but myperspective of it.
Like yeah, you had no idea.
No, I like it's so I was in LaLa Lands.
I mean, I really like had nosense that you were kind of
having to deal with thosereactions.
I mean, granted, of course, likethere's you know, everyone now
obviously it's 18 years later.
(10:05):
Like, it's I I wonder even ifdab would remember some of that
in detail.
SPEAKER_03 (10:10):
Yeah, now he's like the best papa and all that.
I mean, he fell in love with heron the second he met her.
It was just these reactions.
It was, it took some people somesome time.
And, you know, people vocal.
You could people were gonnashare their opinion of what they
thought of your situation,regardless if I asked them or
not, or cared about theiropinion.
I I would think, you know, oneof my biggest things to take
(10:31):
away if you're if you do end uphaving a, you know, do getting
pregnant when you're young isjust to block out the noise
because there's just so muchnoise.
And again, like you have to makeall these really big decisions
real fast.
You know, where are you gonnalive?
How are you gonna support thebaby?
Are you gonna work?
How if the baby's gonna be indaycare, all these big decisions
that are overwhelming,regardless if you're 22 or 40.
And you have just a lot ofpeople tripping in your ear.
(10:52):
So you just kind of block it allout.
SPEAKER_02 (10:54):
I was telling Ross, like, were you nervous?
SPEAKER_03 (10:56):
Surprisingly, no.
I told him that night he wascoming over anyway, and I was
like, hey, yeah.
So if you know my husband, he'svery pale, and I think he got
three lighter than he alreadyis.
He was a ghost.
He took a walk, came back, andit was like, all right, like
we're ready.
Like, we're like it was theinitial shock, but with him, it
(11:16):
was very quick, and we were init.
SPEAKER_01 (11:19):
I have to imagine, like, you and Ross really had to
lean on each other, too, youknow.
SPEAKER_03 (11:23):
Yeah, and you know, ignorance is bliss.
I didn't know what I was doing.
I I didn't know like the nextsteps.
Every new every step was a newstep for me.
You know, you're you you gottalike zone in and focus on
getting through the pregnant,like again, all these big
decisions.
You just don't really even havethe time or energy.
Because again, you are pregnant,so you're already super
(11:46):
hormonal.
And secondly, like when you are22, 23, you definitely care
about what people think of youway more than you do at 40.
1000.
Yeah, it is all around you, butI think to really survive that
moment and get through it, youyou really do just have to block
out, block out anything that'snot necessary.
(12:06):
Because otherwise, uh it's hardto, it would be hard to get
everything in a ready.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (12:11):
But also, too, I mean, me and Britt talk about
this with our friends havingbabies now.
Like, I feel like there's somuch I'm still learning about
pregnancy and having children.
And I think it's if you putyourself in the time of what was
that, 2007, you know, socialmedia, there's only Facebook.
There's not as much informationkind of out there.
And there's no like social totry to connect with other young
(12:34):
moms.
Like, so I could see that beingin one way, ignorance is bliss,
like you said, you're kind of inyour zone, in your bubble.
But in another way, like youdon't necessarily have that
ability to seek out othercommunity of people going
through the same thing becauseit's just not around.
Yeah.
Kind of transitioning to that,like when you when Ava was,
well, I guess backing upsomething else that maybe should
(12:56):
be relevant for context here,because when you and Ross had
Ava, you moved back in with ourparents.
I was living there as well,until Ava was about a year old,
and then you bought your housein Walpole.
For context, our mother also hada ruptured brain aneurysm about
a year prior to that.
So that is in the mix.
(13:17):
She's she's pretty debilitated,and we don't this was like a
time of very much, we don't knowwhat's next in her terms of her
health.
Yes, it just pains the scene.
Like that was also happening.
Yeah.
So when you were living with us,like what was that like for you?
And is there anything you missabout that time?
SPEAKER_03 (13:35):
Ross would move back in a second.
He loved it.
He Ross did love it.
He he loved it so much.
Yeah, I mean, pros and cons,right?
It's we need, I mean, I'm sograteful that we were able to
move back in home so that wecould save up so that we could
buy our house.
Otherwise, I don't, you know, wewould never have been able to
(13:56):
buy a place.
But it's, you know, it's not,it's not your home.
Like it, I mean it is, but atthe same time, you know, it's
hard when you're bringing homelike dad always used to laugh,
like, oh great, Melissa camehome with a baby and a
boyfriend, and like I am dad.
You know, and like um it sothere was just a lot of like
(14:16):
trying to figure out everyone'sschedule, not schedule, but
trying to just get it adjustedto not only a baby, but also
living with a boyfriend.
I've never done that before,right?
So, and he, you know, we movedin when after I had Ava, like he
didn't really move inbeforehand, like he was also
very young.
Uh, so it was just a lot ofadjustments, but I do think we
(14:39):
got it into a good like rhythm.
They had helped out so much withAva, so did Ross's parents.
Ross's parents are incredibly uhsupportive and help all the
time, and they still do, butyeah, I mean it was fine.
I was I was happy when we moved,but Ross had the best time ever
and he always talks how he wouldgo back.
SPEAKER_01 (14:59):
Oh my god.
Did you not say the same thing,Brittany, about Chris with
living with your parents?
SPEAKER_02 (15:04):
Yeah, no, I was thinking I did like a brief
little stint with my parents,probably like eight or nine
months a couple years ago, and Icould not get out of there fast
enough.
I was like, I do not want tolive here anymore.
I need to move out, I don't careabout saving money anymore.
Like, I'm asking.
SPEAKER_03 (15:17):
Yeah, I was getting into that boat.
I was also like, my, you know,our parents have a split level,
so I was like in the basementpark.
Yeah.
It's like depressing.
It really was.
I'm like, oh, I just I need toget out of here.
SPEAKER_02 (15:35):
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, same thing.
Chris like loves living with myparents.
So I guess if you're gonna movein with a with a parent, go for
your in-laws, not your ownparents.
SPEAKER_03 (15:45):
Yeah, I guess.
SPEAKER_02 (15:47):
Do you think just don't do it?
SPEAKER_03 (15:49):
Yeah, just don't do it.
Go to a hotel.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (15:52):
Yeah.
How is it like making likefriends with the other moms?
Like when Ava got to likekindergarten.
Hard stuff.
SPEAKER_03 (15:59):
Really hard.
You know, I think thankfully Avais a very still is a very
outgoing person.
She's a very independent kiddo.
She always has been.
So she was able to make friendsreally easily.
But she probably didn't make anyfriends until she was in
kindergarten because duringthose first few four years, you
(16:20):
know, I felt like a terribleperson, terrible mother, because
I didn't have a connection.
I didn't have a community withmoms that had kids her age.
So she was a daycare kid, so shewas around other babies, but she
never really had any friendsthat typically those friends
are, you know, ones that yourmom makes, and you know, you can
do play dates and things likethat.
(16:40):
Um so it wasn't really until shewent to kindergarten where she
was kind of on her own that shestarted to make make friends.
And it was in I still, you know,I take that on me because yeah,
I had a hard time making friendsfor as as a as a mom, especially
as a young mom.
They weren't my age.
I couldn't really connect withthem.
I was just going through a lotof different things.
(17:01):
And they were again, they weresettled.
They were some of the majorityof Ava's friends are, she's the
oldest, obviously, but all herfriends are the youngest.
So it's just like a huge agegap.
And they were just in differentspots in life.
Like we're trying to just figureout career-wise, what are we
doing?
Like, we need to get a betterjob, things like that.
And we just weren't, yeah, Ijust weren't out and about
making friends.
(17:22):
I would be so intimidated iflike all of us.
It was, it definitely was.
It definitely was intimidating.
Although, you know, it's funnybecause now that I have
children, then I am the likenormal age, I guess you want to
call it.
There's a lot of parents my agenow with the boys.
And yeah, I do find myself thatI it is easier to make friends
with moms who are my age, but Istill look back on Ava's
(17:45):
friends, especially in thosefirst few years, like
kindergarten, like elementaryschool years.
And some of those parents arelike the nicest to this day, my
favorite people on this earth.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:56):
That's a good point too.
Yeah.
Cause like if you're 22, 23,you're just, you know, seeing
older adults in general, if youcan't relate to them, like it is
intimidating.
And then did you do you thinkthere was a part of you that
felt, you know, because evenlike what you were talking about
before, some of the reactionsyou get are across the board,
and some make you feel judged.
Like, were you scared of that?
Like, is that part of the reasonwhy that is hard?
SPEAKER_03 (18:17):
But some people are assholes.
Like, you know, my neighbor, Iyes, I thought I had a neighbor
who I thought was like a we hadkids the same age, and she was
just like a total snob.
So I think, you know, that'sprobably why some of the older
parents were ones that Iconnected with or talked to,
because in some ways they weregoing through the same thing I
was going through as in terms ofbeing judged by other mothers
(18:39):
because they were on theopposite side of things.
And they were like, Wow, you'rea really old mom, and I'm a
really young mom.
There's a group of moms that,you know, like every like in
anything, like in high school,there's always those mean girls.
Yeah, I definitely think it washard.
Just the whole, the whole thing.
SPEAKER_02 (18:56):
I'm dreading all the mom friending.
I feel like I'm like just at thecusp of it, and it's very scary.
And I can't even imagine itbeing with all people that were
10 plus years older than me.
SPEAKER_01 (19:06):
So I feel like I often will bring up to like our
group of friends, Brit.
Like, I always reference you,Melissa, obviously, for because
I've seen so closely like youand your family.
And I'll say to our girlfriends,I'm like, you guys, like we
joke, no new friends.
Like, you're gonna be introducedto so many new moms, and it's
crazy, like the dynamics betweenparents, not just moms, but like
(19:28):
sports, how that's so like real.
People who get very competitive,very almost take their kids'
achievements as their own.
And it's like a whole new world.
Yeah, I cannot without.
SPEAKER_03 (19:41):
Yeah.
And like I will say too, likethe comments about being me
being young, I still get to thisday.
Like without fail, anytime I'mwith Ava for something, she
plays lacrosse.
So if it's a lacrosse game andI'm in the stands, and somebody
references some movie, maybewhen they were growing up,
without doubt, it happens atleast, at least once a week,
once a uh game.
They'll be like, Oh, you don't,you're too young to remember
(20:02):
that.
You don't know what we'retalking about.
And like, it will never, it isjust a part of my personal like
it's just a part of me now isthat I am a young mom to Ava,
like, and it it will never notbe a thing.
But two 18 years later, it wasturning 18 in less than a month,
it's still a thing.
SPEAKER_01 (20:17):
Crazy.
Yeah, that is crazy.
Do you think Ross like wentthrough a lot of the same things
that you went through in termsof relating to other dads?
SPEAKER_03 (20:26):
I feel it's just not the same.
Really?
It's really not.
I think dads are just much moreeasygoing and you know, then
just not as judgmental as well.
Yeah.
And so Ross, like, yeah, maybemaybe he doesn't have like I
don't think any of Abe'sfriends' dads are gonna be his
lifelong friends either, but hewould easily can go grab a beer
(20:49):
with anybody, like he we werefortunate enough too that his
one of his college roommates wasliterally went through the same
thing that we did in the sensethat him and his now wife, and
they also have four kids now,are pregnant a year after
college as well.
So we I was just they're twoyears ahead of me.
So it was nice to have thatcouple to kind of walk walk
(21:13):
through like it'll be okaything.
SPEAKER_01 (21:15):
So again, we already asked a little bit, but like not
necessarily about when you'refirst finding out you're
pregnant and you know, likeplanning for that, but just
other young moms who have ababy.
Having a baby is obviously veryoverwhelming just in and of
itself.
But what advice would you giveto those young moms right now?
SPEAKER_03 (21:34):
Yeah, I mean, I think in some ways, you know,
the actual physical part ofbeing pregnant when you're
young, it's much easier thanwhen you're older.
So you have that going for you.
But the emotional side, I think,as it's as a young mom is so
much harder because one, you'renot as stable, you just you
can't be.
There's no way, whether that befinancially, whether that be
(21:54):
like housing, whatever the casemay be.
But again, like you one, you'repregnant, so everybody, you
know, anyone who's pregnantknows like it's an ultra roller
coaster, but you are superconcerned as a 22-year-old kid
what other people think of you.
SPEAKER_04 (22:08):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (22:08):
And you just really need to my advice would be like
mentally prepare.
Like, people are gonna be nastyand like you're just gonna have
to deal with comments that mightnot even really apply to you,
but you like just know that ifit's not coming from a good
spot, block it out as much asyou can because you have way
more important things to focuson.
(22:28):
I think you do really need torely really heavily on any
community you can find, whetherthat be like one thing I wish I
did, but I was working, so itwas hard, is like a mom group.
If you are in a town that youdon't know anybody, find the mom
group.
Find there's so many of them.
Even at the gym, and you candrop your kids off at the gym
play place.
(22:49):
That's always like that's alwaysso nice.
That's how I met a bunch of momstoo one time.
Well, during one period of time.
But I do think you need to rely,and then you'll be surprised
because yeah, just as manypeople who were, you know,
giving me attitude about it orwho weren't very happy for me.
Again, there were some familymembers, particularly like
again, my aunt, our aunts whothrew the baby shower for me,
who really stepped up and I oreven like the couple Ross's
(23:11):
friend who I didn't really knowat the time, but really helped
me if I had any questions.
These people that I justwouldn't have known about or
didn't expect to really steppedup and I you had to really lean
in on them.
SPEAKER_01 (23:23):
That's amazing to hear too, because like it's just
good to know like how muchsupport can really stand out and
stick with you almost twodecades later.
Like it's yeah, maybe more thanthey even realize.
And because they didn't have to,right?
SPEAKER_03 (23:38):
Like they didn't really have to do anything and
and they chose to.
And I think you know, that isit's just so unexpected.
It and it just it does it stick,it sticks with you totally.
SPEAKER_02 (23:48):
Yeah.
I feel like there is like asense of like once you have kids
and you see like other parentsgoing through like parenting.
I feel like there's more of asense of not like camaraderie,
but like I don't know, likeyou're more willing to help
someone because you know likehow hard it is and you've been
like it's so hard.
So like I've experienced thattoo, and it's it's nice, like
people that will go out of theirway to like you know make a meal
(24:10):
right after you go from thehospital.
Like that's yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (24:14):
And it's almost like you don't know what you don't
know until you're going throughit, right?
SPEAKER_03 (24:17):
So yeah, yeah, and I I just think for young parents,
it is just much more of theemotional side, like just again,
it's just the physical side ofit of actually having a baby.
I mean, I think I literallypushed Ava out and got up and
just walked to the recoveryroom, like it was like nothing,
like that's like I'm ready,versus even just eight years
(24:40):
later when I had the twins, Icouldn't walk for like a week.
Like, so you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02 (24:44):
It's just yeah, that's a good point.
I've never thought of that, butit makes sense like physically
easier, but oh my god, theemotional side is probably like
yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:53):
Well, that's a good segue because you do have three
other children, Sophia, who isturning 15 next month, and twin
boys who just turned 11.
Do you feel like you parentedyour kids differently?
Like, do you feel like there wasa a difference in how you
parented Ava versus Sophia andthe boys?
SPEAKER_03 (25:10):
I was very defensive over Ava.
Ava was not gonna not haveanything.
So even if it meant credit card,debt, or not really, I'm
actually pretty good saver, butlike it, even if it meant like
me and Ross aren't going up todinner because Ava needs X, Y,
Z, cleats, whatever the case maybe, Ava was going to get
anything and everything becauseI was super defensive to make
(25:34):
sure that she that she could tryout for soccer or you know, do
dance or gymnastics or whatevershe was into that at at whatever
point in her life because Ididn't want her to be negatively
impacted because of the factthat I was young and still, you
know, getting situated.
Now, obviously, like Ross and I,we did have to grow up probably
(25:56):
a little bit faster than some ofour friends, but it all worked
out in the end because you know,now we have this, you know,
beautiful life with our fourchildren, and you know, we have
our beautiful home that we'revery proud of, and all that.
So I'm sure I do, I mean, I'msure Ava always says that I'm
much more lax with the boys, butit's also because I don't know,
(26:20):
I think you know, until you'relike the second, third, fourth
kid, you're like, Yeah, there'salso some of that.
Now I kind of look at things alittle bit differently and being
like, okay, they don't have todo every single thing under the
sun, or it's okay if we miss onething here or there, like it's
not the end of the world.
Or there are things that likeyou know, signed Ava out that
like it just wasn't necessary,but I just wanted to keep up
with the Joneses and make surethat she got exactly what
(26:42):
everybody else was doing.
And now I have a little bit moreperspective of that.
Not just sports, but like evenschool projects.
If like, you know, I I would bethere with Ava doing every
single thing with her to makesure it was perfect.
And now Sophia and the boys, I'mlike, no, this is your project,
do it, and then figure it out.
Figure it out.
Like, yeah, so that kind ofthing.
I definitely I think it'sperspective and also just my
(27:02):
fear of Ava not doing wellbecause of me and Ross.
Yeah, totally.
SPEAKER_01 (27:07):
I mean, I think like at the time, too, let's not
forget Ross is one of foursiblings, and this Ava was the
first grandkid on both sides,yeah, and we have a close,
extended family through ourmom's side.
There's nine cousins.
We were all like obsessed withher.
Like, I think Ava had the fullfull attention of at all times,
like three grown adults untilthe literally the day she was
(27:30):
born, it snapped for a changefor a lot of people.
SPEAKER_03 (27:34):
Agreed.
She was not only the firstgrandchild for both of our size,
but yeah, to Kristen's point,she was the first for our
extended family.
The Bignanos hadn't had any kidsyet either.
Like my auntie Rena could callher her granddaughter.
Like she had a lot of attention.
SPEAKER_04 (27:49):
Attention.
SPEAKER_03 (27:50):
Um, my house literally was like throwing up
in Disney pink, like anythingDisney in the world.
We had it.
The second, yeah, the secondthat girl was born, I think
everyone quickly realized whatthe you know priority is and
that we'll be just fine.
And it was yeah, just gettingthere that was a little dicey.
SPEAKER_02 (28:06):
Yeah, what okay?
I have a question.
What was like more shocking orlike jarring?
Finding out you were pregnantwith Ava at 22 or twins, going
for three kids and then findingout you're having twins and
you're gonna have four twins.
SPEAKER_01 (28:20):
Okay, what a good question, Brittany.
SPEAKER_02 (28:23):
Well, yeah.
I mean, that's I think aboutthat.
When I consider having a thirdkid, I'm like, I could end up
like Mel Mills and Ross withtwins, and I do not want that,
but I'm not happy.
SPEAKER_03 (28:32):
Yeah, I mean, the intent was was three children.
Um and well, it was so funnybecause you know, Ross and I
obviously had no issues gettingpregnant with Ava and or Sophia,
and so we were kind of surprisedthat it was taking us as long as
it did to get pregnant for thethird time, and we were about to
give up.
We were just kind of like, oh,forget it.
We have two girls, that's fine,blah, blah, blah.
So once we find and we weretrying for like a year, year and
(28:53):
a half, like it was a while.
And so for us to finally getpregnant, that was a surprise.
Then to find out it was twins,and I had gone to the doctors by
myself because I was like, Oh,it's the third baby, like it was
eight weeks, you know, likeyou're not they're gonna try to
find the heartbeat sometimes.
I can't even do that, it's eightweeks.
We'll go to you go come to the12-week one with me.
And it nearly fell off thetable.
I when she said it was it wasyeah, wow.
SPEAKER_01 (29:15):
I have such vivid memories of that.
Melissa, Jen and I, it'shilarious the story takes place
where it does.
We were doing a fun run, a mudrun.
Yeah, I remember this.
Anyone who knows us, that is notwhere you're gonna catch us most
of the time.
SPEAKER_00 (29:30):
Have it done no sense, have it done no sense.
SPEAKER_01 (29:32):
Yeah, no, it I don't know what we were thinking, but
anyway, we went and Melissa's onthe way there and she's telling
Jen and I, she's like, you know,something feels different.
I I I thought that youvoluntarily booked an
appointment with your doctorbecause you felt that something
might be No, it's just myeight-week checkup.
SPEAKER_03 (29:46):
It was my it was like kick things off.
SPEAKER_01 (29:48):
Okay, I have that detail wrong then.
But I remember you saying youwere going to the doctor's
whatever.
And I thought that I had said toyou, I was like, well, maybe
you're just having a boy, likeyou're just older now, maybe
that's it, whatever.
And then I'm in my bed.
And I remember getting a textfrom Melissa, and all it was was
a photo of the top of a bookthat said twins.
And I my jaw dropped.
(30:10):
Because I mean, I think thethings that you think about
first and foremost there is youwere in your first home.
So like Melissa said, they had atiny little ranch.
SPEAKER_03 (30:17):
It's like it was oh my goodness.
The so the girls had to share abedroom for the first three
years because we were still inour tiny little ranch.
And boys' bedroom was so small,you couldn't even like open the
door the whole way because itwould hit one of the mini mini
cribs.
You couldn't even there wasn'teven enough space for two cribs.
It was two mini cribs.
Then we had to get a bigger car,we had to figure out like
(30:39):
daycare for two kids, and wewere gonna have Sophia still in
daycare for one of those years.
It was like all over again.
Like, oh my god, what are wegonna do?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (30:48):
And then Melissa found out that they were
identical.
So we know at this point it'seither gonna be they have a crew
of four girls or two and two.
Now, for families of four girls,beautiful family, everyone would
be happy, sure.
SPEAKER_03 (31:02):
But during this gender reveal, I will say there
was a lot of us that were like,okay, is everyone else kind of
hoping for boys here?
Like, are we saying it out loud?
Are we saying out loud?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (31:17):
Yeah.
Um, the girls put into cupcakes,right?
SPEAKER_03 (31:20):
Yeah, blue cupcakes.
SPEAKER_01 (31:21):
And truly, it was this year that Melissa told me
that her and Ross knew ahead oftime what the gender was.
I to I never knew that.
SPEAKER_03 (31:29):
Yeah, no, I couldn't wait.
Yeah.
And if it was two girls, I thinkwe'd me and Ross both had to
prep in case it was gonna befour girls.
Because then we would have fourteenage girls, like it would
have been four of anything.
SPEAKER_02 (31:41):
I mean, I think of my I would be the opposite.
If I got pregnant with twins,like having four boys, I'd be
like, I can't do that.
I can't do that.
Yeah.
unknown (31:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (31:52):
I am curious.
I mean, you and Ross havingnavigated these huge moments of
okay, this life is taking us inthis direction.
Like, what do you think is thestrongest like part of your
marriage or your relationship?
Like, is there something thatyou can point to that you think
has really helped you guys keepthat relationship strong?
SPEAKER_03 (32:08):
I mean, we like each other.
We're definitely we just likelike to hang out, not you know,
not always like you know,husband and wife and like good
friends too.
Yeah, like I could hang out withhim any day all day.
Like, so I think that helps Ilike genuinely like being with
him.
So I think you know, that helps.
We're both very again come fromstrong, like close families.
(32:32):
So I think that, you know, justhaving that instilled in you
definitely helps when you haveyourself a big family, and
especially now because you know,kids, four kids nowadays is
considered a big family.
I think, you know, just havingthis priorities, like right now
we're in a really weird stage inour lives where we're almost
bored.
Like the kids are getting olderand they don't need us as much,
or they'll go off to friends'houses, or Ava's driving, and
(32:54):
Sophia's in high school, and wedon't have anything to do.
And now we're like, what do wedo?
Like, we gotta find hobby.
So jealous.
So jealous.
Like, I gotta find, I gotta finda hobby.
I don't yeah.
Literally, you know, we le againlike come out of college, have
been one year, and then we'vebeen parents ever since.
And it's always been somethingthe kids have always been
little, it's been always work,work, work, and now things are
(33:17):
quieting down, and we are notsure what to do with our time.
That's not a really exciting.
SPEAKER_01 (33:23):
It's exciting, but I'm also like it's overwhelming.
SPEAKER_03 (33:26):
Well, yeah, and I feel like I'm forget, and I tend
to like do better when I'mreally busy.
Like I make mistakes slow,bored, and so I'm like, I need
to get something.
Like it's it's been a it'sstarting to creep up how
different things are, especiallynow that Ava and Sophia are both
in high school.
And the boys, you know, they'rethey're 11, they're not they're
(33:46):
not little kids, so they're youknow, off riding their bikes and
stuff, and yeah, nothing goingon.
SPEAKER_01 (33:51):
That's kind of an interesting thing to think
about, like for any parent, Iguess.
Not young, like it doesn'tmatter when you have a kid, but
yeah, if your identity for solong is like mom and your life
is revolving around all of theiractivities and all of their
things, then I think a lot ofpeople probably go through that.
Like it's like, okay, what's myidentity outside of this?
SPEAKER_03 (34:08):
Yeah, Ross and I keep going out for dinner and
we're like, we gotta stop this.
Like, we have got to not go allfor dinner every time we're
like, What do we do?
Yeah, I love going out fordinner.
Yeah, that's uh so that's asthis is new waters for us.
SPEAKER_02 (34:27):
Yeah, I'm sure I feel like I think of that too.
Like I my right now, my brain isso like, go, go, go, go, go, do
this, do this.
And like, I'm like, oh, and Iit'll be weird when I don't have
kids.
And like my brain doesn't haveto be like that.
Well, like something like that.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (34:40):
Different stage of life, but like I still feel
like, yeah, at that time, likewhen I was telling you Britt in
Spanish class, like, I can'tbelieve it was 18 years ago.
I feel like it's literally goneby so fast in a lot of ways.
It's crazy.
And Melissa's gonna hate this,and then we are gonna transition
a little bit to some sistertalk.
But like, literally, when I sayMelissa is the biggest bad ass
(35:01):
you will ever meet in your life,she's gonna hate this.
I get it, but like so true.
Her family is so amazing,they've had such great
experiences, they're the bestkids, like such a full life.
And it's like, I just feel likeyou and Ross are like just such
good parents.
Just I just can't and honestlynever know like you had
(35:22):
struggles that you were likestruggling as you, as of course
you were, like at that age tofigure it out and to be dealing
with your own life.
Like 22, you're still don't evenknow who you are.
Like I was a fetus, you know.
So yeah, I just need to likebrag on you about that also.
And I will say, too, as asister, like even you know,
(35:42):
again, the year before prior tothat, our lives were disrupted
in a different way with ourmom's illness.
And like Melissa was like takingme shopping for my semi-formal
dresses, she's yeah, justliterally such a mama bear,
like, literally the best personever.
I can't.
I'm obsessed with you.
Okay, but anyway, we're gonnaget that's out of the system.
Okay, so let's maybe talk alittle sister talk.
Sure.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (36:02):
All right, so I get to ask the questions now.
So, what where do you guys thinkyou fit in like the birth order
theory?
SPEAKER_03 (36:10):
I think we're only child children.
I think we're only children.
So far apart that we really grewup with the experience of being
an only child.
My childhood is insanelydifferent than Kristen's.
I went to elementary school inRandolph with a whole different
town and a whole different groupof friends, and a whole
different experience thanKristen.
(36:30):
I grew up with the Bignanocousins, Kristen grew up with
the McManus cousins.
Like totally different lifeexperiences.
We really didn't know each otheruntil like Kristen went to
college.
SPEAKER_01 (36:44):
1000%.
SPEAKER_03 (36:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (36:47):
I definitely think like, I think traits of only
children are sometimes similarto oldest children in the sense
that they do get a lot of likeattention from adults and but
they're also maybe spending alot of time alone.
So they're very independent andself-reliant.
I definitely think both of usare like that.
I think I definitely am likethat.
I I would say slightly, I dothink that you've always been
(37:09):
like a little more responsiblethan me.
Like better with Maya.
She's like, okay.
Not anymore, but there was atime.
There was a time.
There was a time.
But yeah, like Melissa, alwaysgood with saving, always just
very organized, like on it.
I would say on the flip, maybeI'm a little bit more
spontaneous or adventurous thanyou, which probably aligns a
(37:32):
little more with younger.
SPEAKER_02 (37:33):
Yeah.
100%.
So how are you and Kristen mostalike?
And how are you most different?
SPEAKER_03 (37:38):
The difference one is 100% Kristen's spontaneous.
She's a risk taker more than Iam.
Yeah.
But I think we're alike in thesense, you know, we are, I would
say, more laid back.
I don't think we're uptightpeople.
Go with the flow.
Go with the flow.
I think we're, you know, we havea lot of empathy for others and
we do forgive.
(37:58):
I don't think we hold grudges.
I don't know.
I don't think of me and Kristenas like hard people.
Like, you know, there's alwayspeople that are just like
difficult to deal with, andevery single thing is just it's
exhausting.
I don't think that me andKristen are like exhausting
people.
SPEAKER_02 (38:14):
Yeah.
No one's like, oh, Kristen andMelissa are coming to this
party.
SPEAKER_03 (38:18):
Yeah.
Or like, what drama are theygonna start now?
Like, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (38:22):
I think we have the opposite problem.
We're like, oh, you know thatthey want us to come.
unknown (38:26):
Sure.
SPEAKER_02 (38:26):
Sure.
SPEAKER_01 (38:29):
Yeah, I think that we're very alike, and honestly,
our how we speak, I think ourmannerisms.
I think a lot of the times, likeMelissa and I, I mean, we see
each other all the time.
So this happens often wherewe'll be, I'll be like Melissa,
or she'll be like Kristen.
And I'm like, I was just gonnasay that.
So I think a lot of the times,like the way we like think
almost is similar.
(38:51):
Yeah.
And I agree that yeah, we arelaid back people.
And I think we're good people.
Like, I think we are empathetic,like you said.
I think we care about otherpeople.
And then yeah, I think thedifferences probably are just
like the spontaneity,spontaneity, but also just like
be even talking about this, likeour life circumstances.
Like my fears now about beinglike an older mom are a little
(39:13):
bit more on like the physical.
Like, how would I even handlethat?
Like, how would I handle all ofthose things if I had a kid at
40 or whatever?
But I think because of our lifecircumstances, I am a little bit
more just yeah, maybe unaware.
I haven't had to like this is anexample.
We went to Penn State and Ivolunteered to make the packing
list.
The packing list.
(39:36):
Do you want to tell it?
unknown (39:37):
No.
SPEAKER_02 (39:38):
I'm like, oh boy.
SPEAKER_03 (39:41):
It's like, who the fuck did this?
SPEAKER_01 (39:42):
And I was like, Come over here, you know.
I'm gonna make this list.
I'm gonna be organized and helpthe family.
So me and Megan make the list.
And Ross said something, likeRoss was like, I mean, yeah, you
could tell this list was made bysomeone who's never had to throw
a party in her life, like ornever hosted in her life.
I'm like, it's like nothing isit doesn't make sense.
It was just literally like youhave this, this, this, this, and
(40:03):
this.
So it's like toilet paperketchup and chicken tenders.
SPEAKER_03 (40:05):
Like nothing made sense.
SPEAKER_01 (40:08):
We were there for like 36 hours too, and we had
more food and like, oh my god,like it was like, but I think
that is maybe a case in pointwhere just like our life
circumstances have maybe made usa little different and those
types of things.
Yeah, but I don't know.
SPEAKER_02 (40:24):
Yeah, I feel like you guys are more similar than
different.
Yeah, I agree.
Yeah, I agree.
I would I was gonna say yoursimilarity, it's like your your
useless pop culture knowledge.
Oh love of the 90s, all thingsnineties.
SPEAKER_03 (40:36):
Yeah, you know what's funny though is that Ross
kicks my ass in trivia everysingle time we go, What?
Every time.
SPEAKER_01 (40:42):
Oh, Ross should be on Jeopardy.
That for Ross.
SPEAKER_03 (40:43):
I can say that for Ross.
So annoying.
SPEAKER_01 (40:45):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, you know what's funny isthat we do joke about with our
mom, like it's like she has ahard time sometimes.
She'll think of a word, butthere's kind of like a
disconnect between her sayingthe word and the word that she's
thinking of.
It's hard for her to say whatshe's trying to thinking about.
But you will ask her, whostarred in the 58th episode of
MASH?
Yes.
(41:07):
She's like Alan Alda's sister,da da da Alda.
Like she just, it's like insanehow this woman will pull out
facts about pop culture from 50years ago.
And then I was like kind ofjoking about it.
And I'm like, I'm over herehosting a pop culture podcast.
Like, obviously, it doesn't falltoo far.
So, but yeah, I mean, Melissa,last final thoughts.
(41:29):
Is there anything that we didn'task you about that you want to
take the time to talk about orany just final thoughts, you
know, um, before we wrap up?
SPEAKER_03 (41:40):
No, I don't think so.
This was great.
This was fun.
Did you have fun?
Right?
I did, I did.
I had a lot of fun.
I'll talk about Ann Michael Mayany day of the week if you want.
SPEAKER_02 (41:48):
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01 (41:49):
Literally.
SPEAKER_02 (41:50):
Yeah, I'm gonna have to go follow her.
SPEAKER_01 (41:52):
Go in the comments.
If you go and you don't look inthe comment section, you're
gonna be like, okay, like it'sfine, she's cute, whatever.
Look at the comments.
Wow, gold.
SPEAKER_02 (41:59):
Yeah, that's unique.
I feel like I've never been toldto follow someone, not for their
content, but for the comments.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (42:05):
It's just the whole thing.
She's just like baking pies.
Like, it's not like, I mean,it's cute and it's adorable,
don't get me wrong.
Right.
But uh it's not great.
SPEAKER_01 (42:14):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, Melissa, thank you so muchfor coming on.
I absolutely love this episodeand loved having you.
We will be back on Friday with aregularly scheduled program.
SPEAKER_02 (42:25):
Make sure to like us, comment at us, friend us on
social media at Snitch and Podon TikTok and Instagram.
Go to our website www.snitch andpodcast.com and tell everyone
you know about us.
SPEAKER_03 (42:37):
Awesome.
Thanks, everyone.
Bye.
SPEAKER_02 (42:40):
Bye.
Ready?
SPEAKER_02 (00:01):
Ready.
SPEAKER_01 (00:02):
Hey everyone.
Welcome back to the latestepisode of Sis Nitchin.
It's your host, Kristen.
SPEAKER_02 (00:07):
And Brittany, get ready for the best part of your
day.
SPEAKER_01 (00:11):
And it's Wednesday.
You know what that means.
We're back with a guest episode.
I just need to, I don't know ifI can properly set the stage for
just how excited, both of us,but how excited I am for this
episode because excited.
We have my favorite girl on.
We have my big sis Melissa.
(00:31):
And this has been a little bitof a long time coming.
I'm not going to say that we hadto convince you to come on.
I'm not going to not say that.
SPEAKER_03 (00:40):
I'm here.
I'm excited.
I'm ready.
SPEAKER_01 (00:42):
Yeah.
Um, really, what we're going totalk about today is a little
sister talk, you know, just likeme and Melissa and kind of our
background, but really the focusis going to be on Melissa and
her family and specifically herfirstborn, Ava.
Um, Melissa and her husband Rosshad Ava at the ages of 23 and
25.
We're just going to talk aboutwhat that experience was like
(01:04):
for her, you know, and also likehaving three other children, you
now have four, maybe some of thedifferences in how you raised
your kids based on what stage oflife you were in.
Before we get into this, I havea quick topic that I just need
to bring up.
Melissa brought this to myattention last week.
The best new follow for any NewEngland Patriots fan out there,
Melissa.
I see you nodding your head.
(01:25):
I know who you're gonna say, andI love her.
And I love the comments.
I am obsessed.
Drake May's wife and MichaelMay.
Oh.
SPEAKER_03 (01:33):
Oh my god, Brittany, you have to follow her.
The comments are just gold.
They're so funny.
What does she like do?
She's is like a very she bakesand you know, she does her
outfit of the game day.
Like nothing crazy.
It's just the comments arehysterical.
They're all supportive, they'reall positive, but they're just
(01:53):
really funny.
SPEAKER_01 (01:55):
Literally, it's like she is now the new first lady of
new of New England.
And basically every othercomment to like Melissa's point
is just keep on baking, keepDrake May well fed, we're we're
relying on you.
SPEAKER_03 (02:11):
My favorite one is because Zell never baked for us.
Oh my god.
I doubt Zell bakes.
And then one of the othercomments was this guy, and he's
like, I'm not saying you don'tlove Drake May, Ann Michael, but
I'm just saying there's no wayyou love him more than me.
SPEAKER_01 (02:31):
Wow.
It's pretty good.
Well, I told Brittany about itthis weekend, and Britt was
like, Where do they live, youthink?
SPEAKER_03 (02:38):
And oh, Westwood.
That's the rumor I heard.
I heard that he's right in thesame neighborhood as um Josh
McDaniels.
Oh, you know what?
SPEAKER_02 (02:48):
That makes sense.
Yeah.
Mac Jones used to live inCanton, but that didn't go so
well.
So yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:54):
It didn't go so hot.
But let's get into the meat andbones of today's episode.
We're gonna set the stage alittle bit.
So Melissa and I are six yearsapart.
She's six years older than me.
And we grew up in Canton, butyou really grew up until what,
age of 10?
SPEAKER_03 (03:10):
I lived in, yes.
So I lived in Randolph until Iwas in fifth grade.
You were three.
So we moved.
Yeah.
So in the middle of fifth grade,we moved from Randolph to
Canton.
And then I was obviously inCanton until I don't know if you
count college years, but was inCanton until I moved to Walpole
about 17 years ago.
(03:31):
Yeah, that's crazy.
Tough age to move.
SPEAKER_01 (03:34):
I know, right?
Yeah.
We like to say that basically wethink our parents moved because
my dad's best friend lived inCanton.
SPEAKER_03 (03:42):
Oh, that's 100% reason.
Well, we had to be done atRandolph because Randolph had
terrible, terrible schools.
And so we were gonna moveanyway, but it's 100% Canton
because our dad's best friend.
unknown (03:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (03:56):
Thousand percent.
SPEAKER_01 (03:57):
Um, and that's where they still are today.
So we lived there, we grew upthere, our parents still lived
there, and then Melissa went toProvidence College for college,
which is where you met your nowhusband.
And that kind of brings us upto, you know, around this time
that we're gonna start with.
So tell us a little bit likeabout what your life was like
when you first got pregnant.
You were graduated from PC, likewhere were you living?
(04:19):
What were you doing?
Kind of set the stage.
SPEAKER_03 (04:21):
Yeah, sure.
So, you know, like most girlsafter you graduate college, you
have a a dime in a dozen, dime adozen apartments.
I had I lived in Brighton withthree of my girlfriends.
Ross and I, we we likeoriginally met in in college,
but we didn't really startdating until God, I can't even
like remember, but maybe mysenior year, towards the end of
(04:41):
my senior year or so.
So things were just kind oflike, you know, any typical
22-year-old just having funliving in Brighton with carting
it up.
SPEAKER_01 (04:49):
I think you and your bestie Jen.
Shout out, Jen.
SPEAKER_03 (04:52):
Yes.
It was it you two together andyou took a pregnancy test, and
like what was Yep, we were inour apartment in Brighton, and I
got so I I took a pregnancytest, came back positive,
immediately called Jen becauseshe is my best friend, and
obviously.
I I don't even know if she washome or when she came home, but
she came home with about 10other pregnancy tests, and I
(05:15):
took every single one of them.
Of course, of course it turnsout all were very clearly
positive.
So yeah, so Jen was the veryfirst person to find out how we
were like shocked, right?
You were 23.
I was 22, yes.
I was floored.
I was like, I you know, you kindof knew it.
I was late.
(05:35):
It was, you know, all the signswere there.
So it was just like as soon as Itook the test and it came back
positive, like immediately.
And of course, like, you know,I've taken pregnancy tests since
then, having three morechildren.
And when you're pregnant, itcomes back positive real fast.
And so there was no doubt.
Uh, it was I was definitelyhaving a having a kid up.
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (05:53):
You were very clearly 10 times positive.
SPEAKER_02 (05:56):
Yeah.
It's so funny.
I always tell the story, but Iremember Kristen telling me you
were pregnant with Ava inSpanish class when we were
seniors in high school.
Like I literally remember itexactly.
But at the time I was like, ohyeah, Melissa's like, you know,
she's still young, but likeshe's older.
Like, that's you know, not thatcrazy.
But then I got to be like 22 andI was like, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_03 (06:15):
That is crazy.
It's so true.
I was incredibly young.
So true.
Thank God I was out of college.
SPEAKER_01 (06:23):
Well, it's funny because Ava now, you know, she's
a senior in high school.
And I remember around this timelast year, I said to her, I was
like, you know, sweetie, like Iwas your age when I found out
you were coming into this world.
She was floored.
She was like, What?
I was like, Yeah, girl, I'm sixyears younger than your mom.
I mean, do the math.
I was in high school.
So you find out that you'repregnant.
(06:45):
How, like, what was your feelingabout telling friends and
family?
I remember very specifically, wewere downstairs in the futon
room, just you and I, when youtold me the news.
And I can't remember how youstarted to tell me, but you kind
of like set it up and there wasa moment of anticipation.
And then you were like, we'rehaving a baby.
And I was like, oh my God, andfreaked out.
(07:07):
But how did you feel approachingthose conversations?
And were there any reactionsthat you were surprised by?
SPEAKER_03 (07:14):
Telling my friends was not a problem.
I had a good group ofgirlfriends from college, and of
course, Jen and my and myroommates, I think they were all
in the same boat as you know, aseverybody.
They were shocked, but it wasn'tanything negative.
It was just more like, what areyou gonna do?
Like we gotta, we have a lot ofdecisions to make real fast.
Again, Ross and I, we we weredating, and of course, serious,
(07:36):
but we were really only beendating for maybe a year.
We weren't living together, wehad no talks yet of getting
married.
We of course didn't have thefinancial stability that you
have when you're 22.
Who does?
You're just trying to find acareer, and your priority is
definitely going out.
You know, how many nights canyou afford to go out that week?
SPEAKER_01 (07:53):
Oh my god, I was overdrafting my account left and
right at 22.
But yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (07:57):
So it so telling the friends, it was just like we
immediately knew we had toreshape our minds.
And my girlfriends were super,super supportive.
One of my girlfriends, becauseyou don't know, right?
I mean, like this was the firsttime I was pregnant.
I didn't have anyone to talk toabout like what should I be
expecting.
And so I didn't know if Rossshould be coming to the
appointments with me or if Ishould be doing this alone.
(08:18):
So my girlfriend Carleen camewith me to my OBGYN appointments
with me.
Like, I had a I had a crew, Ihad my girlfriends who were
ridiculously supportive from dayone.
Family was a little different.
I would say, you know, somepeople were really supportive
and other people were not.
I think my our dad, he was justso taken aback.
And he he told my grandmotherbefore I could because he felt
(08:42):
that he needed to give her aheads up because we were going
down the cape to tell mygrandparents, yes.
And our grandparents, sorry,Kristen, I keep messing that up,
to tell Nana and grandpa that Iwas pregnant, and he had already
told Nana.
So she called me out and she'slike, Oh, you ready to tell
people?
And she was mad.
And I was like, Yeah, I can tellpeople.
And she called up my Uncle Jimmyright then and there.
(09:02):
I was like, Here you go.
SPEAKER_00 (09:04):
She did not.
Nancy, I did not know any ofthis.
SPEAKER_03 (09:11):
Yep.
So I was put on the spot, had totell my uncle who was like, he's
like, okay.
Had to tell his wife, my uh uhDeb, who was very nice about it.
And so, yeah, so there'sdefinitely some people who were
more supportive.
Some of their reactions, some ofthose people who who might have
been a little less supportive,it sticks with you.
It's it's it's harsh.
(09:32):
I mean, you know, even thoughyou're bringing a baby in this
world and we are happy, therewasn't many congratulations, and
oh my gosh, I'm so excited foryou.
It was a lot of concern.
SPEAKER_01 (09:43):
It's so crazy to hear this because not to make
this about me, but myperspective of it.
Like yeah, you had no idea.
No, I like it's so I was in LaLa Lands.
I mean, I really like had nosense that you were kind of
having to deal with thosereactions.
I mean, granted, of course, likethere's you know, everyone now
obviously it's 18 years later.
(10:05):
Like, it's I I wonder even ifdab would remember some of that
in detail.
SPEAKER_03 (10:10):
Yeah, now he's like the best papa and all that.
I mean, he fell in love with heron the second he met her.
It was just these reactions.
It was, it took some people somesome time.
And, you know, people vocal.
You could people were gonnashare their opinion of what they
thought of your situation,regardless if I asked them or
not, or cared about theiropinion.
I I would think, you know, oneof my biggest things to take
(10:31):
away if you're if you do end uphaving a, you know, do getting
pregnant when you're young isjust to block out the noise
because there's just so muchnoise.
And again, like you have to makeall these really big decisions
real fast.
You know, where are you gonnalive?
How are you gonna support thebaby?
Are you gonna work?
How if the baby's gonna be indaycare, all these big decisions
that are overwhelming,regardless if you're 22 or 40.
And you have just a lot ofpeople tripping in your ear.
(10:52):
So you just kind of block it allout.
SPEAKER_02 (10:54):
I was telling Ross, like, were you nervous?
SPEAKER_03 (10:56):
Surprisingly, no.
I told him that night he wascoming over anyway, and I was
like, hey, yeah.
So if you know my husband, he'svery pale, and I think he got
three lighter than he alreadyis.
He was a ghost.
He took a walk, came back, andit was like, all right, like
we're ready.
Like, we're like it was theinitial shock, but with him, it
(11:16):
was very quick, and we were init.
SPEAKER_01 (11:19):
I have to imagine, like, you and Ross really had to
lean on each other, too, youknow.
SPEAKER_03 (11:23):
Yeah, and you know, ignorance is bliss.
I didn't know what I was doing.
I I didn't know like the nextsteps.
Every new every step was a newstep for me.
You know, you're you you gottalike zone in and focus on
getting through the pregnant,like again, all these big
decisions.
You just don't really even havethe time or energy.
Because again, you are pregnant,so you're already super
(11:46):
hormonal.
And secondly, like when you are22, 23, you definitely care
about what people think of youway more than you do at 40.
1000.
Yeah, it is all around you, butI think to really survive that
moment and get through it, youyou really do just have to block
out, block out anything that'snot necessary.
(12:06):
Because otherwise, uh it's hardto, it would be hard to get
everything in a ready.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (12:11):
But also, too, I mean, me and Britt talk about
this with our friends havingbabies now.
Like, I feel like there's somuch I'm still learning about
pregnancy and having children.
And I think it's if you putyourself in the time of what was
that, 2007, you know, socialmedia, there's only Facebook.
There's not as much informationkind of out there.
And there's no like social totry to connect with other young
(12:34):
moms.
Like, so I could see that beingin one way, ignorance is bliss,
like you said, you're kind of inyour zone, in your bubble.
But in another way, like youdon't necessarily have that
ability to seek out othercommunity of people going
through the same thing becauseit's just not around.
Yeah.
Kind of transitioning to that,like when you when Ava was,
well, I guess backing upsomething else that maybe should
(12:56):
be relevant for context here,because when you and Ross had
Ava, you moved back in with ourparents.
I was living there as well,until Ava was about a year old,
and then you bought your housein Walpole.
For context, our mother also hada ruptured brain aneurysm about
a year prior to that.
So that is in the mix.
(13:17):
She's she's pretty debilitated,and we don't this was like a
time of very much, we don't knowwhat's next in her terms of her
health.
Yes, it just pains the scene.
Like that was also happening.
Yeah.
So when you were living with us,like what was that like for you?
And is there anything you missabout that time?
SPEAKER_03 (13:35):
Ross would move back in a second.
He loved it.
He Ross did love it.
He he loved it so much.
Yeah, I mean, pros and cons,right?
It's we need, I mean, I'm sograteful that we were able to
move back in home so that wecould save up so that we could
buy our house.
Otherwise, I don't, you know, wewould never have been able to
(13:56):
buy a place.
But it's, you know, it's not,it's not your home.
Like it, I mean it is, but atthe same time, you know, it's
hard when you're bringing homelike dad always used to laugh,
like, oh great, Melissa camehome with a baby and a
boyfriend, and like I am dad.
You know, and like um it sothere was just a lot of like
(14:16):
trying to figure out everyone'sschedule, not schedule, but
trying to just get it adjustedto not only a baby, but also
living with a boyfriend.
I've never done that before,right?
So, and he, you know, we movedin when after I had Ava, like he
didn't really move inbeforehand, like he was also
very young.
Uh, so it was just a lot ofadjustments, but I do think we
(14:39):
got it into a good like rhythm.
They had helped out so much withAva, so did Ross's parents.
Ross's parents are incredibly uhsupportive and help all the
time, and they still do, butyeah, I mean it was fine.
I was I was happy when we moved,but Ross had the best time ever
and he always talks how he wouldgo back.
SPEAKER_01 (14:59):
Oh my god.
Did you not say the same thing,Brittany, about Chris with
living with your parents?
SPEAKER_02 (15:04):
Yeah, no, I was thinking I did like a brief
little stint with my parents,probably like eight or nine
months a couple years ago, and Icould not get out of there fast
enough.
I was like, I do not want tolive here anymore.
I need to move out, I don't careabout saving money anymore.
Like, I'm asking.
SPEAKER_03 (15:17):
Yeah, I was getting into that boat.
I was also like, my, you know,our parents have a split level,
so I was like in the basementpark.
Yeah.
It's like depressing.
It really was.
I'm like, oh, I just I need toget out of here.
SPEAKER_02 (15:35):
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, same thing.
Chris like loves living with myparents.
So I guess if you're gonna movein with a with a parent, go for
your in-laws, not your ownparents.
SPEAKER_03 (15:45):
Yeah, I guess.
SPEAKER_02 (15:47):
Do you think just don't do it?
SPEAKER_03 (15:49):
Yeah, just don't do it.
Go to a hotel.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (15:52):
Yeah.
How is it like making likefriends with the other moms?
Like when Ava got to likekindergarten.
Hard stuff.
SPEAKER_03 (15:59):
Really hard.
You know, I think thankfully Avais a very still is a very
outgoing person.
She's a very independent kiddo.
She always has been.
So she was able to make friendsreally easily.
But she probably didn't make anyfriends until she was in
kindergarten because duringthose first few four years, you
(16:20):
know, I felt like a terribleperson, terrible mother, because
I didn't have a connection.
I didn't have a community withmoms that had kids her age.
So she was a daycare kid, so shewas around other babies, but she
never really had any friendsthat typically those friends
are, you know, ones that yourmom makes, and you know, you can
do play dates and things likethat.
(16:40):
Um so it wasn't really until shewent to kindergarten where she
was kind of on her own that shestarted to make make friends.
And it was in I still, you know,I take that on me because yeah,
I had a hard time making friendsfor as as a as a mom, especially
as a young mom.
They weren't my age.
I couldn't really connect withthem.
I was just going through a lotof different things.
(17:01):
And they were again, they weresettled.
They were some of the majorityof Ava's friends are, she's the
oldest, obviously, but all herfriends are the youngest.
So it's just like a huge agegap.
And they were just in differentspots in life.
Like we're trying to just figureout career-wise, what are we
doing?
Like, we need to get a betterjob, things like that.
And we just weren't, yeah, Ijust weren't out and about
making friends.
(17:22):
I would be so intimidated iflike all of us.
It was, it definitely was.
It definitely was intimidating.
Although, you know, it's funnybecause now that I have
children, then I am the likenormal age, I guess you want to
call it.
There's a lot of parents my agenow with the boys.
And yeah, I do find myself thatI it is easier to make friends
with moms who are my age, but Istill look back on Ava's
(17:45):
friends, especially in thosefirst few years, like
kindergarten, like elementaryschool years.
And some of those parents arelike the nicest to this day, my
favorite people on this earth.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:56):
That's a good point too.
Yeah.
Cause like if you're 22, 23,you're just, you know, seeing
older adults in general, if youcan't relate to them, like it is
intimidating.
And then did you do you thinkthere was a part of you that
felt, you know, because evenlike what you were talking about
before, some of the reactionsyou get are across the board,
and some make you feel judged.
Like, were you scared of that?
Like, is that part of the reasonwhy that is hard?
SPEAKER_03 (18:17):
But some people are assholes.
Like, you know, my neighbor, Iyes, I thought I had a neighbor
who I thought was like a we hadkids the same age, and she was
just like a total snob.
So I think, you know, that'sprobably why some of the older
parents were ones that Iconnected with or talked to,
because in some ways they weregoing through the same thing I
was going through as in terms ofbeing judged by other mothers
(18:39):
because they were on theopposite side of things.
And they were like, Wow, you'rea really old mom, and I'm a
really young mom.
There's a group of moms that,you know, like every like in
anything, like in high school,there's always those mean girls.
Yeah, I definitely think it washard.
Just the whole, the whole thing.
SPEAKER_02 (18:56):
I'm dreading all the mom friending.
I feel like I'm like just at thecusp of it, and it's very scary.
And I can't even imagine itbeing with all people that were
10 plus years older than me.
SPEAKER_01 (19:06):
So I feel like I often will bring up to like our
group of friends, Brit.
Like, I always reference you,Melissa, obviously, for because
I've seen so closely like youand your family.
And I'll say to our girlfriends,I'm like, you guys, like we
joke, no new friends.
Like, you're gonna be introducedto so many new moms, and it's
crazy, like the dynamics betweenparents, not just moms, but like
(19:28):
sports, how that's so like real.
People who get very competitive,very almost take their kids'
achievements as their own.
And it's like a whole new world.
Yeah, I cannot without.
SPEAKER_03 (19:41):
Yeah.
And like I will say too, likethe comments about being me
being young, I still get to thisday.
Like without fail, anytime I'mwith Ava for something, she
plays lacrosse.
So if it's a lacrosse game andI'm in the stands, and somebody
references some movie, maybewhen they were growing up,
without doubt, it happens atleast, at least once a week,
once a uh game.
They'll be like, Oh, you don't,you're too young to remember
(20:02):
that.
You don't know what we'retalking about.
And like, it will never, it isjust a part of my personal like
it's just a part of me now isthat I am a young mom to Ava,
like, and it it will never notbe a thing.
But two 18 years later, it wasturning 18 in less than a month,
it's still a thing.
SPEAKER_01 (20:17):
Crazy.
Yeah, that is crazy.
Do you think Ross like wentthrough a lot of the same things
that you went through in termsof relating to other dads?
SPEAKER_03 (20:26):
I feel it's just not the same.
Really?
It's really not.
I think dads are just much moreeasygoing and you know, then
just not as judgmental as well.
Yeah.
And so Ross, like, yeah, maybemaybe he doesn't have like I
don't think any of Abe'sfriends' dads are gonna be his
lifelong friends either, but hewould easily can go grab a beer
(20:49):
with anybody, like he we werefortunate enough too that his
one of his college roommates wasliterally went through the same
thing that we did in the sensethat him and his now wife, and
they also have four kids now,are pregnant a year after
college as well.
So we I was just they're twoyears ahead of me.
So it was nice to have thatcouple to kind of walk walk
(21:13):
through like it'll be okaything.
SPEAKER_01 (21:15):
So again, we already asked a little bit, but like not
necessarily about when you'refirst finding out you're
pregnant and you know, likeplanning for that, but just
other young moms who have ababy.
Having a baby is obviously veryoverwhelming just in and of
itself.
But what advice would you giveto those young moms right now?
SPEAKER_03 (21:34):
Yeah, I mean, I think in some ways, you know,
the actual physical part ofbeing pregnant when you're
young, it's much easier thanwhen you're older.
So you have that going for you.
But the emotional side, I think,as it's as a young mom is so
much harder because one, you'renot as stable, you just you
can't be.
There's no way, whether that befinancially, whether that be
(21:54):
like housing, whatever the casemay be.
But again, like you one, you'repregnant, so everybody, you
know, anyone who's pregnantknows like it's an ultra roller
coaster, but you are superconcerned as a 22-year-old kid
what other people think of you.
SPEAKER_04 (22:08):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (22:08):
And you just really need to my advice would be like
mentally prepare.
Like, people are gonna be nastyand like you're just gonna have
to deal with comments that mightnot even really apply to you,
but you like just know that ifit's not coming from a good
spot, block it out as much asyou can because you have way
more important things to focuson.
(22:28):
I think you do really need torely really heavily on any
community you can find, whetherthat be like one thing I wish I
did, but I was working, so itwas hard, is like a mom group.
If you are in a town that youdon't know anybody, find the mom
group.
Find there's so many of them.
Even at the gym, and you candrop your kids off at the gym
play place.
(22:49):
That's always like that's alwaysso nice.
That's how I met a bunch of momstoo one time.
Well, during one period of time.
But I do think you need to rely,and then you'll be surprised
because yeah, just as manypeople who were, you know,
giving me attitude about it orwho weren't very happy for me.
Again, there were some familymembers, particularly like
again, my aunt, our aunts whothrew the baby shower for me,
who really stepped up and I oreven like the couple Ross's
(23:11):
friend who I didn't really knowat the time, but really helped
me if I had any questions.
These people that I justwouldn't have known about or
didn't expect to really steppedup and I you had to really lean
in on them.
SPEAKER_01 (23:23):
That's amazing to hear too, because like it's just
good to know like how muchsupport can really stand out and
stick with you almost twodecades later.
Like it's yeah, maybe more thanthey even realize.
And because they didn't have to,right?
SPEAKER_03 (23:38):
Like they didn't really have to do anything and
and they chose to.
And I think you know, that isit's just so unexpected.
It and it just it does it stick,it sticks with you totally.
SPEAKER_02 (23:48):
Yeah.
I feel like there is like asense of like once you have kids
and you see like other parentsgoing through like parenting.
I feel like there's more of asense of not like camaraderie,
but like I don't know, likeyou're more willing to help
someone because you know likehow hard it is and you've been
like it's so hard.
So like I've experienced thattoo, and it's it's nice, like
people that will go out of theirway to like you know make a meal
(24:10):
right after you go from thehospital.
Like that's yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (24:14):
And it's almost like you don't know what you don't
know until you're going throughit, right?
SPEAKER_03 (24:17):
So yeah, yeah, and I I just think for young parents,
it is just much more of theemotional side, like just again,
it's just the physical side ofit of actually having a baby.
I mean, I think I literallypushed Ava out and got up and
just walked to the recoveryroom, like it was like nothing,
like that's like I'm ready,versus even just eight years
(24:40):
later when I had the twins, Icouldn't walk for like a week.
Like, so you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02 (24:44):
It's just yeah, that's a good point.
I've never thought of that, butit makes sense like physically
easier, but oh my god, theemotional side is probably like
yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:53):
Well, that's a good segue because you do have three
other children, Sophia, who isturning 15 next month, and twin
boys who just turned 11.
Do you feel like you parentedyour kids differently?
Like, do you feel like there wasa a difference in how you
parented Ava versus Sophia andthe boys?
SPEAKER_03 (25:10):
I was very defensive over Ava.
Ava was not gonna not haveanything.
So even if it meant credit card,debt, or not really, I'm
actually pretty good saver, butlike it, even if it meant like
me and Ross aren't going up todinner because Ava needs X, Y,
Z, cleats, whatever the case maybe, Ava was going to get
anything and everything becauseI was super defensive to make
(25:34):
sure that she that she could tryout for soccer or you know, do
dance or gymnastics or whatevershe was into that at at whatever
point in her life because Ididn't want her to be negatively
impacted because of the factthat I was young and still, you
know, getting situated.
Now, obviously, like Ross and I,we did have to grow up probably
(25:56):
a little bit faster than some ofour friends, but it all worked
out in the end because you know,now we have this, you know,
beautiful life with our fourchildren, and you know, we have
our beautiful home that we'revery proud of, and all that.
So I'm sure I do, I mean, I'msure Ava always says that I'm
much more lax with the boys, butit's also because I don't know,
(26:20):
I think you know, until you'relike the second, third, fourth
kid, you're like, Yeah, there'salso some of that.
Now I kind of look at things alittle bit differently and being
like, okay, they don't have todo every single thing under the
sun, or it's okay if we miss onething here or there, like it's
not the end of the world.
Or there are things that likeyou know, signed Ava out that
like it just wasn't necessary,but I just wanted to keep up
with the Joneses and make surethat she got exactly what
(26:42):
everybody else was doing.
And now I have a little bit moreperspective of that.
Not just sports, but like evenschool projects.
If like, you know, I I would bethere with Ava doing every
single thing with her to makesure it was perfect.
And now Sophia and the boys, I'mlike, no, this is your project,
do it, and then figure it out.
Figure it out.
Like, yeah, so that kind ofthing.
I definitely I think it'sperspective and also just my
(27:02):
fear of Ava not doing wellbecause of me and Ross.
Yeah, totally.
SPEAKER_01 (27:07):
I mean, I think like at the time, too, let's not
forget Ross is one of foursiblings, and this Ava was the
first grandkid on both sides,yeah, and we have a close,
extended family through ourmom's side.
There's nine cousins.
We were all like obsessed withher.
Like, I think Ava had the fullfull attention of at all times,
like three grown adults untilthe literally the day she was
(27:30):
born, it snapped for a changefor a lot of people.
SPEAKER_03 (27:34):
Agreed.
She was not only the firstgrandchild for both of our size,
but yeah, to Kristen's point,she was the first for our
extended family.
The Bignanos hadn't had any kidsyet either.
Like my auntie Rena could callher her granddaughter.
Like she had a lot of attention.
SPEAKER_04 (27:49):
Attention.
SPEAKER_03 (27:50):
Um, my house literally was like throwing up
in Disney pink, like anythingDisney in the world.
We had it.
The second, yeah, the secondthat girl was born, I think
everyone quickly realized whatthe you know priority is and
that we'll be just fine.
And it was yeah, just gettingthere that was a little dicey.
SPEAKER_02 (28:06):
Yeah, what okay?
I have a question.
What was like more shocking orlike jarring?
Finding out you were pregnantwith Ava at 22 or twins, going
for three kids and then findingout you're having twins and
you're gonna have four twins.
SPEAKER_01 (28:20):
Okay, what a good question, Brittany.
SPEAKER_02 (28:23):
Well, yeah.
I mean, that's I think aboutthat.
When I consider having a thirdkid, I'm like, I could end up
like Mel Mills and Ross withtwins, and I do not want that,
but I'm not happy.
SPEAKER_03 (28:32):
Yeah, I mean, the intent was was three children.
Um and well, it was so funnybecause you know, Ross and I
obviously had no issues gettingpregnant with Ava and or Sophia,
and so we were kind of surprisedthat it was taking us as long as
it did to get pregnant for thethird time, and we were about to
give up.
We were just kind of like, oh,forget it.
We have two girls, that's fine,blah, blah, blah.
So once we find and we weretrying for like a year, year and
(28:53):
a half, like it was a while.
And so for us to finally getpregnant, that was a surprise.
Then to find out it was twins,and I had gone to the doctors by
myself because I was like, Oh,it's the third baby, like it was
eight weeks, you know, likeyou're not they're gonna try to
find the heartbeat sometimes.
I can't even do that, it's eightweeks.
We'll go to you go come to the12-week one with me.
And it nearly fell off thetable.
I when she said it was it wasyeah, wow.
SPEAKER_01 (29:15):
I have such vivid memories of that.
Melissa, Jen and I, it'shilarious the story takes place
where it does.
We were doing a fun run, a mudrun.
Yeah, I remember this.
Anyone who knows us, that is notwhere you're gonna catch us most
of the time.
SPEAKER_00 (29:30):
Have it done no sense, have it done no sense.
SPEAKER_01 (29:32):
Yeah, no, it I don't know what we were thinking, but
anyway, we went and Melissa's onthe way there and she's telling
Jen and I, she's like, you know,something feels different.
I I I thought that youvoluntarily booked an
appointment with your doctorbecause you felt that something
might be No, it's just myeight-week checkup.
SPEAKER_03 (29:46):
It was my it was like kick things off.
SPEAKER_01 (29:48):
Okay, I have that detail wrong then.
But I remember you saying youwere going to the doctor's
whatever.
And I thought that I had said toyou, I was like, well, maybe
you're just having a boy, likeyou're just older now, maybe
that's it, whatever.
And then I'm in my bed.
And I remember getting a textfrom Melissa, and all it was was
a photo of the top of a bookthat said twins.
And I my jaw dropped.
(30:10):
Because I mean, I think thethings that you think about
first and foremost there is youwere in your first home.
So like Melissa said, they had atiny little ranch.
SPEAKER_03 (30:17):
It's like it was oh my goodness.
The so the girls had to share abedroom for the first three
years because we were still inour tiny little ranch.
And boys' bedroom was so small,you couldn't even like open the
door the whole way because itwould hit one of the mini mini
cribs.
You couldn't even there wasn'teven enough space for two cribs.
It was two mini cribs.
Then we had to get a bigger car,we had to figure out like
(30:39):
daycare for two kids, and wewere gonna have Sophia still in
daycare for one of those years.
It was like all over again.
Like, oh my god, what are wegonna do?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (30:48):
And then Melissa found out that they were
identical.
So we know at this point it'seither gonna be they have a crew
of four girls or two and two.
Now, for families of four girls,beautiful family, everyone would
be happy, sure.
SPEAKER_03 (31:02):
But during this gender reveal, I will say there
was a lot of us that were like,okay, is everyone else kind of
hoping for boys here?
Like, are we saying it out loud?
Are we saying out loud?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (31:17):
Yeah.
Um, the girls put into cupcakes,right?
SPEAKER_03 (31:20):
Yeah, blue cupcakes.
SPEAKER_01 (31:21):
And truly, it was this year that Melissa told me
that her and Ross knew ahead oftime what the gender was.
I to I never knew that.
SPEAKER_03 (31:29):
Yeah, no, I couldn't wait.
Yeah.
And if it was two girls, I thinkwe'd me and Ross both had to
prep in case it was gonna befour girls.
Because then we would have fourteenage girls, like it would
have been four of anything.
SPEAKER_02 (31:41):
I mean, I think of my I would be the opposite.
If I got pregnant with twins,like having four boys, I'd be
like, I can't do that.
I can't do that.
Yeah.
unknown (31:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (31:52):
I am curious.
I mean, you and Ross havingnavigated these huge moments of
okay, this life is taking us inthis direction.
Like, what do you think is thestrongest like part of your
marriage or your relationship?
Like, is there something thatyou can point to that you think
has really helped you guys keepthat relationship strong?
SPEAKER_03 (32:08):
I mean, we like each other.
We're definitely we just likelike to hang out, not you know,
not always like you know,husband and wife and like good
friends too.
Yeah, like I could hang out withhim any day all day.
Like, so I think that helps Ilike genuinely like being with
him.
So I think you know, that helps.
We're both very again come fromstrong, like close families.
(32:32):
So I think that, you know, justhaving that instilled in you
definitely helps when you haveyourself a big family, and
especially now because you know,kids, four kids nowadays is
considered a big family.
I think, you know, just havingthis priorities, like right now
we're in a really weird stage inour lives where we're almost
bored.
Like the kids are getting olderand they don't need us as much,
or they'll go off to friends'houses, or Ava's driving, and
(32:54):
Sophia's in high school, and wedon't have anything to do.
And now we're like, what do wedo?
Like, we gotta find hobby.
So jealous.
So jealous.
Like, I gotta find, I gotta finda hobby.
I don't yeah.
Literally, you know, we le againlike come out of college, have
been one year, and then we'vebeen parents ever since.
And it's always been somethingthe kids have always been
little, it's been always work,work, work, and now things are
(33:17):
quieting down, and we are notsure what to do with our time.
That's not a really exciting.
SPEAKER_01 (33:23):
It's exciting, but I'm also like it's overwhelming.
SPEAKER_03 (33:26):
Well, yeah, and I feel like I'm forget, and I tend
to like do better when I'mreally busy.
Like I make mistakes slow,bored, and so I'm like, I need
to get something.
Like it's it's been a it'sstarting to creep up how
different things are, especiallynow that Ava and Sophia are both
in high school.
And the boys, you know, they'rethey're 11, they're not they're
(33:46):
not little kids, so they're youknow, off riding their bikes and
stuff, and yeah, nothing goingon.
SPEAKER_01 (33:51):
That's kind of an interesting thing to think
about, like for any parent, Iguess.
Not young, like it doesn'tmatter when you have a kid, but
yeah, if your identity for solong is like mom and your life
is revolving around all of theiractivities and all of their
things, then I think a lot ofpeople probably go through that.
Like it's like, okay, what's myidentity outside of this?
SPEAKER_03 (34:08):
Yeah, Ross and I keep going out for dinner and
we're like, we gotta stop this.
Like, we have got to not go allfor dinner every time we're
like, What do we do?
Yeah, I love going out fordinner.
Yeah, that's uh so that's asthis is new waters for us.
SPEAKER_02 (34:27):
Yeah, I'm sure I feel like I think of that too.
Like I my right now, my brain isso like, go, go, go, go, go, do
this, do this.
And like, I'm like, oh, and Iit'll be weird when I don't have
kids.
And like my brain doesn't haveto be like that.
Well, like something like that.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (34:40):
Different stage of life, but like I still feel
like, yeah, at that time, likewhen I was telling you Britt in
Spanish class, like, I can'tbelieve it was 18 years ago.
I feel like it's literally goneby so fast in a lot of ways.
It's crazy.
And Melissa's gonna hate this,and then we are gonna transition
a little bit to some sistertalk.
But like, literally, when I sayMelissa is the biggest bad ass
(35:01):
you will ever meet in your life,she's gonna hate this.
I get it, but like so true.
Her family is so amazing,they've had such great
experiences, they're the bestkids, like such a full life.
And it's like, I just feel likeyou and Ross are like just such
good parents.
Just I just can't and honestlynever know like you had
(35:22):
struggles that you were likestruggling as you, as of course
you were, like at that age tofigure it out and to be dealing
with your own life.
Like 22, you're still don't evenknow who you are.
Like I was a fetus, you know.
So yeah, I just need to likebrag on you about that also.
And I will say, too, as asister, like even you know,
(35:42):
again, the year before prior tothat, our lives were disrupted
in a different way with ourmom's illness.
And like Melissa was like takingme shopping for my semi-formal
dresses, she's yeah, justliterally such a mama bear,
like, literally the best personever.
I can't.
I'm obsessed with you.
Okay, but anyway, we're gonnaget that's out of the system.
Okay, so let's maybe talk alittle sister talk.
Sure.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (36:02):
All right, so I get to ask the questions now.
So, what where do you guys thinkyou fit in like the birth order
theory?
SPEAKER_03 (36:10):
I think we're only child children.
I think we're only children.
So far apart that we really grewup with the experience of being
an only child.
My childhood is insanelydifferent than Kristen's.
I went to elementary school inRandolph with a whole different
town and a whole different groupof friends, and a whole
different experience thanKristen.
(36:30):
I grew up with the Bignanocousins, Kristen grew up with
the McManus cousins.
Like totally different lifeexperiences.
We really didn't know each otheruntil like Kristen went to
college.
SPEAKER_01 (36:44):
1000%.
SPEAKER_03 (36:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (36:47):
I definitely think like, I think traits of only
children are sometimes similarto oldest children in the sense
that they do get a lot of likeattention from adults and but
they're also maybe spending alot of time alone.
So they're very independent andself-reliant.
I definitely think both of usare like that.
I think I definitely am likethat.
I I would say slightly, I dothink that you've always been
(37:09):
like a little more responsiblethan me.
Like better with Maya.
She's like, okay.
Not anymore, but there was atime.
There was a time.
There was a time.
But yeah, like Melissa, alwaysgood with saving, always just
very organized, like on it.
I would say on the flip, maybeI'm a little bit more
spontaneous or adventurous thanyou, which probably aligns a
(37:32):
little more with younger.
SPEAKER_02 (37:33):
Yeah.
100%.
So how are you and Kristen mostalike?
And how are you most different?
SPEAKER_03 (37:38):
The difference one is 100% Kristen's spontaneous.
She's a risk taker more than Iam.
Yeah.
But I think we're alike in thesense, you know, we are, I would
say, more laid back.
I don't think we're uptightpeople.
Go with the flow.
Go with the flow.
I think we're, you know, we havea lot of empathy for others and
we do forgive.
(37:58):
I don't think we hold grudges.
I don't know.
I don't think of me and Kristenas like hard people.
Like, you know, there's alwayspeople that are just like
difficult to deal with, andevery single thing is just it's
exhausting.
I don't think that me andKristen are like exhausting
people.
SPEAKER_02 (38:14):
Yeah.
No one's like, oh, Kristen andMelissa are coming to this
party.
SPEAKER_03 (38:18):
Yeah.
Or like, what drama are theygonna start now?
Like, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (38:22):
I think we have the opposite problem.
We're like, oh, you know thatthey want us to come.
unknown (38:26):
Sure.
SPEAKER_02 (38:26):
Sure.
SPEAKER_01 (38:29):
Yeah, I think that we're very alike, and honestly,
our how we speak, I think ourmannerisms.
I think a lot of the times, likeMelissa and I, I mean, we see
each other all the time.
So this happens often wherewe'll be, I'll be like Melissa,
or she'll be like Kristen.
And I'm like, I was just gonnasay that.
So I think a lot of the times,like the way we like think
almost is similar.
(38:51):
Yeah.
And I agree that yeah, we arelaid back people.
And I think we're good people.
Like, I think we are empathetic,like you said.
I think we care about otherpeople.
And then yeah, I think thedifferences probably are just
like the spontaneity,spontaneity, but also just like
be even talking about this, likeour life circumstances.
Like my fears now about beinglike an older mom are a little
(39:13):
bit more on like the physical.
Like, how would I even handlethat?
Like, how would I handle all ofthose things if I had a kid at
40 or whatever?
But I think because of our lifecircumstances, I am a little bit
more just yeah, maybe unaware.
I haven't had to like this is anexample.
We went to Penn State and Ivolunteered to make the packing
list.
The packing list.
(39:36):
Do you want to tell it?
unknown (39:37):
No.
SPEAKER_02 (39:38):
I'm like, oh boy.
SPEAKER_03 (39:41):
It's like, who the fuck did this?
SPEAKER_01 (39:42):
And I was like, Come over here, you know.
I'm gonna make this list.
I'm gonna be organized and helpthe family.
So me and Megan make the list.
And Ross said something, likeRoss was like, I mean, yeah, you
could tell this list was made bysomeone who's never had to throw
a party in her life, like ornever hosted in her life.
I'm like, it's like nothing isit doesn't make sense.
It was just literally like youhave this, this, this, this, and
(40:03):
this.
So it's like toilet paperketchup and chicken tenders.
SPEAKER_03 (40:05):
Like nothing made sense.
SPEAKER_01 (40:08):
We were there for like 36 hours too, and we had
more food and like, oh my god,like it was like, but I think
that is maybe a case in pointwhere just like our life
circumstances have maybe made usa little different and those
types of things.
Yeah, but I don't know.
SPEAKER_02 (40:24):
Yeah, I feel like you guys are more similar than
different.
Yeah, I agree.
Yeah, I agree.
I would I was gonna say yoursimilarity, it's like your your
useless pop culture knowledge.
Oh love of the 90s, all thingsnineties.
SPEAKER_03 (40:36):
Yeah, you know what's funny though is that Ross
kicks my ass in trivia everysingle time we go, What?
Every time.
SPEAKER_01 (40:42):
Oh, Ross should be on Jeopardy.
That for Ross.
SPEAKER_03 (40:43):
I can say that for Ross.
So annoying.
SPEAKER_01 (40:45):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, you know what's funny isthat we do joke about with our
mom, like it's like she has ahard time sometimes.
She'll think of a word, butthere's kind of like a
disconnect between her sayingthe word and the word that she's
thinking of.
It's hard for her to say whatshe's trying to thinking about.
But you will ask her, whostarred in the 58th episode of
MASH?
Yes.
(41:07):
She's like Alan Alda's sister,da da da Alda.
Like she just, it's like insanehow this woman will pull out
facts about pop culture from 50years ago.
And then I was like kind ofjoking about it.
And I'm like, I'm over herehosting a pop culture podcast.
Like, obviously, it doesn't falltoo far.
So, but yeah, I mean, Melissa,last final thoughts.
(41:29):
Is there anything that we didn'task you about that you want to
take the time to talk about orany just final thoughts, you
know, um, before we wrap up?
SPEAKER_03 (41:40):
No, I don't think so.
This was great.
This was fun.
Did you have fun?
Right?
I did, I did.
I had a lot of fun.
I'll talk about Ann Michael Mayany day of the week if you want.
SPEAKER_02 (41:48):
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01 (41:49):
Literally.
SPEAKER_02 (41:50):
Yeah, I'm gonna have to go follow her.
SPEAKER_01 (41:52):
Go in the comments.
If you go and you don't look inthe comment section, you're
gonna be like, okay, like it'sfine, she's cute, whatever.
Look at the comments.
Wow, gold.
SPEAKER_02 (41:59):
Yeah, that's unique.
I feel like I've never been toldto follow someone, not for their
content, but for the comments.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (42:05):
It's just the whole thing.
She's just like baking pies.
Like, it's not like, I mean,it's cute and it's adorable,
don't get me wrong.
Right.
But uh it's not great.
SPEAKER_01 (42:14):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, Melissa, thank you so muchfor coming on.
I absolutely love this episodeand loved having you.
We will be back on Friday with aregularly scheduled program.
SPEAKER_02 (42:25):
Make sure to like us, comment at us, friend us on
social media at Snitch and Podon TikTok and Instagram.
Go to our website www.snitch andpodcast.com and tell everyone
you know about us.
SPEAKER_03 (42:37):
Awesome.
Thanks, everyone.
Bye.
SPEAKER_02 (42:40):
Bye.
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