December 3, 2025 • 41 mins
From Pressure to Privilege: Inside the Mind of a Young Athlete with BeWeiss Coaching Founder Ashley.
It’s Wednesday—the best part of your day is here! We’re thrilled to welcome Ashley, founder of BeWeiss Coaching, for an incredibly insightful conversation.
Ashley works with middle and high school athletes, teaching them how to turn setbacks into fuel and goals into habits. We dive deep into:
- Why it's so hard for young competitors to shake off mistakes.
- The four pillars of the winning mindset: Confidence, Resilience, Gratitude, and Grit.
- How to handle the emotional stress that can make even elite players struggle.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone who believes that the mental game is the true path to success. Get ready to level up!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_03 (00:01):
Ready?
Ready?
Hey everyone.
Welcome back to the latestepisode of Snitchin.
It's your host, Kristen.
And Brittany, get ready for thebest part of your day.
It's Wednesday.
You know what that means.
We've got a guest episode.
I am so excited about thisguest.
We have with us Ashley.
She is the owner of her owncoaching company, BYS Coaching.
(00:24):
And we're going to talk a littlebit about what it is that she
does with the athletes that sheworks with.
But we're also going to talk alittle bit about how, you know,
we know each other.
Ash and I worked together backin the day selling software,
slinging sales.
Woo! I have to say, Ash, firstoff, welcome to the pod.
We're so happy to have you here.
(00:45):
Yes.
Happy to be here, guys.
And Ash is coming to us fromCalifornia.
Brittany, I know you're veryjealous of that.
SPEAKER_02 (00:52):
Very jealous.
Always you should be.
I know.
SPEAKER_03 (00:55):
Well, you're from there, right?
You're born and you're a Caligirl.
Born and raised, yes.
And then Ash was out inMassachusetts for like 10 years.
Yeah, maybe like a little bitabout your background.
Why?
Yes.
No.
SPEAKER_00 (01:10):
Why would you come here?
So I played college basketball,and I was getting heavily
recruited by UC Santa Barbara,which is a Division I school out
in California, right on thebeach.
Like junior year, took a visit,met the coaches, was ready to
verbal commit and sign early andjust cruise into senior year.
(01:32):
And the head coach got a newjob.
So scholarship and everythingjust gone.
Um yes.
And at the time I had a huge egoand I didn't know anything about
the recruiting process.
So all the other D1s inCalifornia or anywhere else, I
kind of just ignored.
So senior year, nowhere to go.
(02:14):
I didn't realize how smallMassachusetts is.
And I essentially signed myletter of intent without ever
meeting the coach or visitingthe campus, was kind of just
like, all right, I'll go.
If I hate it, I'll come back.
And I ended up loving it and Istayed.
So yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (02:32):
Ash went to the same school that your brother went
to, Britt Merrimack.
Merrimack.
Oh yeah.
My parents went there too.
SPEAKER_00 (02:37):
Yes.
Oh, there you go.
Go Warriors.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (02:41):
Mary New England.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (02:43):
Go Warriors.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (02:44):
I just have to say, the first time I met Ash, so we
worked together at this company.
And I would say at the time, itwas probably like 2016.
It was the wild, wild west overthere.
Would you not agree?
Oh no, 100%.
SPEAKER_02 (02:58):
Were you guys like cold calling at that job?
SPEAKER_03 (03:01):
It was like inbound calling.
So people would sign up for theservice and then we would call
them like 20 seconds after theysigned up and try to get them to
go from a free trial to a paidsubscription.
It was very yeah.
Well, they knew why we werecalling, but like it was
basically like how many salescan you get in a day?
Like some people would beselling eight people a day.
(03:24):
It was very fun, verycompetitive, and like literally
60 men to five women.
Ash rolls in the first day.
I remember you had on like, Idon't remember exactly what you
were wearing, but I think you'rewearing your basketball shorts.
You had your basketball in hand.
And by day two, this girl islike standing on her desk, like
hyping everyone up.
(03:44):
She's like, let's go, let'slike, let's get it.
I'm like, who are you?
Literally the best energy.
Ugh, I so miss working together.
It feels like, you know, 10.
I mean, it was 10 years ago.
Feels like a lifetime ago.
SPEAKER_00 (03:59):
Yes.
I loved, I loved sitting acrossfrom Coco and 100%.
I probably had basketball shortson.
I definitely always had abasketball in my hand.
I was told that it was chill andlaid back.
I mean, we're shooting nerfbullets at each other.
There was kids on shooters.
Right.
Like I worked best standing onthe desk.
(04:21):
I felt taller.
I think it just gave me like apower of like, oh, I'm up here.
SPEAKER_03 (04:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:26):
And you know, it was a good time.
SPEAKER_03 (04:29):
Oh, but you would have loved it.
Like literally, anytime I wasannoyed, I would just like look
over at Ash.
She's fist pumping music,crushing him.
And I'm like, need people likethat around.
Yeah.
Yes.
And speaking of music, did youguys this is a very exciting day
because it's Spotify Rap Day.
Did you look at your Spotifyrapped?
SPEAKER_02 (04:47):
Yeah, 100%.
Any like surprises, or what wereour top songs?
I posted on Instagram, but Iwant an award for being in the
top 0.4% of Taylor Swift fans.
SPEAKER_03 (04:58):
Just saying, let's go, girl.
It gets smaller every year.
SPEAKER_02 (05:00):
Last year's 0.5.
SPEAKER_00 (05:02):
You're killing it.
Yeah.
That's impressive becausethere's a lot of Swifties out
there.
So that just shows that you aretop tier.
SPEAKER_02 (05:14):
I'm like, Taylor, come find me now.
You know who I am.
SPEAKER_00 (05:18):
Yes.
Free tickets to everybody in thetop 0.5%, I think is more than
fair.
SPEAKER_02 (05:23):
I would agree.
But my age was 19, which somepeople think is hilarious.
But I feel like most people's isolder.
Mine's 66.
I'm over here like what?
Who is your top artist, Ash?
SPEAKER_00 (05:37):
My top artist was.
Ooh, I'd have to go back andlook.
I'm not, I can't remember theartist, but my top song was
Ordinary by Alex Warren, ofcourse.
Nice.
Top genre was soft pop.
So I think there was one too.
Soft pop.
We're the same.
We're the same.
Oh, a little soft pop for youtoo, 66-year-old.
(05:59):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (06:00):
Yeah.
Well, we'll get this too,because I'm such a podcast nerd.
And like definitely front halfof the year was listening to so
many podcasts.
Snitchin was not even in my topthree podcasts for the year.
Nice.
It's okay.
SPEAKER_02 (06:14):
Next year.
SPEAKER_03 (06:15):
Yeah, next year.
SPEAKER_02 (06:15):
You listen to podcasts that are like three
hours long, too.
SPEAKER_03 (06:18):
It's just always on.
Like when I'm walking, when I'mdriving, anything.
I'm always listening.
So Armchair Expert, shout outArmchair Expert, top 0.5%
listeners.
Nice.
Let's go.
Almost at my level.
Almost.
Almost.
And then the Daily, The Toast,Snitchin, and then Call Her
Daddy.
SPEAKER_00 (06:36):
Wow.
Okay.
But this is like the number onequestion that I need to know is
what playback speed do youlisten to your podcast at?
SPEAKER_03 (06:44):
I love that question.
Great question.
I listen at like a consistent1.4 to 1.5.
SPEAKER_02 (06:51):
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03 (06:52):
What about you guys?
SPEAKER_02 (06:53):
I always like try to do it at like 1.5 or something,
but then I ended up doing it atlike 1.2.
So you guys are going to thinkI'm cracked out because I'm a
1.8er.
SPEAKER_03 (07:02):
Wow.
Respect.
No, you know what?
I think this is too.
We both went to sell software atother companies in Boston.
And I think hearing yourself onthe phone so frequently, at
least that's how my experience,like, and just listening to
sales calls, you know, if youmanage a team, you're listening
to their calls.
Like, I have no patience.
The faster, the better.
Let's get through it.
I think that's a part of thereason why I listen to things
(07:23):
fast because I can get up to the1.8.
Like respect.
I get that.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:28):
Good call out because like training videos,
right?
Call views could definitely bethat.
I also feel like when I listento like anything less than 1.8,
they're talking slow.
Could be my ADHD, you know,could be that.
But I like I listened it to 1.8and it reads like it comes
through as normal speed.
(07:49):
I also think Californians talkfaster.
Oh, you think maybe?
I do think a little bit.
We're supposed to be laid backand chill, but that's just
depends where in California.
SPEAKER_03 (07:59):
Yeah.
I mean, I I get it though.
Like people who listen just on aplane, one speed.
I don't think you're not doingit right.
SPEAKER_02 (08:07):
No.
Except snitching.
Listen to us on one speed.
SPEAKER_03 (08:10):
Listen, listen.
100%.
Yeah.
We listen to any speed you wantif you're listening to
snitching.
SPEAKER_00 (08:15):
But for everything else, you're not.
We don't discriminate on speed.
Good.
Good.
Just listen multiple times.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (08:22):
Yes.
Exactly.
And rate us and all that.
You know.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (08:25):
Like, subscribe.
All of it.
Find us on Instagram.
SPEAKER_03 (08:29):
Everything.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, let's, I think we shouldget into it.
I am so excited to talk to you alittle bit more about what
you're doing now in your companyand some of the things that you
do when you're working withathletes.
So just to tee it up and let meknow if I'm getting any of this
wrong.
When did you find like when didyou start BYS coaching?
SPEAKER_00 (08:48):
I had my first official class March of 2024.
March 2026, it'll be two years.
Yeah.
My very first class ever.
It was March 2024.
There were five athletes, fourgirls, one boy aged 11, chewing
on a bottle cap because his momwas late to pick him up.
(09:11):
And I wanted so badly to reachinto his mouth, rip it out,
throw it away, or have himswallow it.
Literally either one.
Yeah.
I had no presentation, noworksheets, no games.
I like compared to what I havenow, it was literally me, a
whiteboard, and a piece of paperwith an outline of what I wanted
to talk about.
SPEAKER_03 (09:31):
So yeah, that is how we started.
Started from the bottom, nowwe're here.
Exactly.
Very cool.
And really what the mission isis you train the mindset behind
an athlete.
So you have a few different likefocus areas, but you teach young
competitors how to turn pressurepressure into privilege,
setbacks into fuel, and goalsinto habits.
I love that mission statement.
(09:51):
But obviously, like I feel likethis wouldn't have started had
you not had your own passion forbasketball, for being an
athlete.
So we talked a little bit aboutit.
You were recruited to Bostonthrough Merrimack to play
basketball at the college level.
But when did you fall in lovewith playing basketball?
And what was maybe the biggestlesson that you learned from it
growing up?
SPEAKER_00 (10:09):
Yeah.
So I was considered a latebloomer in the sports world.
I didn't start playingbasketball until like 10, which
still seems pretty young, butmost people are like, you know,
four or five, their little kids'classes.
I did everything besidesbasketball.
So I did like karate, baseball,dance.
And then eventually I picked upa basketball.
And once I did, it was like gameover.
(10:31):
So I feel like I instantly fellin love.
I have a natural work ethic.
My dad's in law enforcement.
My mom was a personal fitnesstrainer.
So I feel like I just grew up ina strict, like get up early,
work hard type of mentality.
And it just resonated with me.
So that is something I feel likekids have that and they still
can be lazy, but that wasn't thecase for me.
(10:53):
The biggest thing I've learned,especially at a young age, is
perseverance.
Because playing sports andgetting to the collegiate level
is so hard.
It is so, so hard.
Aside from being physicallyskilled, which you have to be,
right?
I'm only 5'4.
(11:14):
So to even be recruited divisionone the way that I was isn't
something that most peoplemight, like you have to have
some skill there.
But like to get there physicallyand all the training hours, but
then the mental aspect ofwatching everybody else who's
bigger, taller, but maybe not asskilled, it's easier for them,
(11:34):
right?
Like there's just like thiswhole comparison, and when
you're young, you can't help butdo that.
And but I think the biggestthing was yeah, just persevering
through the ups and downs, andeventually, you know, you'll get
there.
SPEAKER_03 (11:46):
I love that.
Did you have a favoritebasketball star growing up?
SPEAKER_00 (11:49):
So growing up, no, you know, and still it's so hard
to have a favorite basketballstar because I just love the
game.
So if somebody has the game on,I have no problem watching it.
I don't even care who's playing,if it's college, like high
school, I don't care.
Like I'm down and I'll get intoit.
But like a favorite player, no.
I can name favorite players forspecific things, but just not
(12:10):
like one that I'm like obsessedwith or like grew up idolizing.
SPEAKER_02 (12:15):
What teams do you root for?
SPEAKER_00 (12:17):
In college, I rooted for the Warriors.
I was a big Steph Curry girl.
It was like right when he wascoming into his career.
I could be wrong on that, butlike he was small, he was
shifty, he has a really goodthree-pointer.
He went to Davidson, right?
Which is like a great school,but it wasn't like he went to
UNC or like you, you know.
(12:38):
So I just liked his story and itresonated.
And in college, I had a bigposter of him in my locker.
SPEAKER_03 (12:44):
Oh I did I ever tell you I saw him in Ireland at the
Guinness Factory?
No, you did not.
SPEAKER_00 (12:50):
Yeah, I think I knew that.
SPEAKER_03 (12:51):
I had like a six-month period where I would
not shut up about Steph Curry,and like friends of mine would
be like, Yeah, we know who heis.
Like the first time I've everheard of him.
I'm like, Do you guys know aboutthis guy?
He's legit.
He's so legit.
He's changing the game.
His three fours.
It was very serendipitous.
I was at the Guinness Factory.
We get this open table rightnear like the big glass window.
(13:12):
And this woman comes up, and I'mlooking at her, and I'm like,
she looks really familiar.
Sure enough, it's his wife,Aisha Curry.
And I'd seen her cooking show.
And then he comes up rightbehind with either like a tour
guide, there was a couple ofpeople with them, and my mouth
just dropped.
And my friend Jill, who I waswith, who wasn't facing them,
goes, You look like you just sawa celebrity or something.
Like, did who's here?
(13:33):
Like she caught it on my face,and I was just like, frozen.
Brittany, of course.
Freeze.
Yeah.
Freeze.
That's my response for sure.
Got it.
I got a photo of the back of hishead, which was very exciting,
but that was that was where thatended.
But I love that answer.
So you started a couple of yearsago, the company.
What made you like want to gointo business for yourself?
(13:54):
And I I do want to preface bysaying I do remember at our work
days, you had started like aself-improvement blog.
Do you remember?
And I did.
So you you always kind of hadthat, you know, like you said,
grind, the perseverance, likeyou always had that passion to
do stuff like this.
So what made you want to start?
SPEAKER_00 (14:14):
Yes.
Ah, B Wise blog.
That just brought me back.
I had like 300 people followingit.
It was, yeah, yeah, it was agood time.
What made me want to start?
So, like our sales background,right?
So after constant contact, Iwent to Hubspot, which is a
really big company.
I was there for four years.
I loved it until I didn't.
(14:35):
And just your typicalpost-pandemic tech company
stress, micromanage vibes, andthe grind of getting the cell
and the excitement of closingsomething big just no longer
satisfied me.
And it was hard because at thattime I was making over 150,000
bucks.
And that was like without evenhitting my quota every month.
(14:58):
So just getting by.
But I would wake up crying orjust like didn't want to do it.
And I felt that way probably forlike six months.
And it's so against the grain ofwho I was and or who I am.
So yeah, I was living with myparents at the time, and I just
thought, you know what?
If I'm gonna make any changes,now's the time.
(15:19):
So I quit HubSpot and I waslike, I'm gonna be a life coach.
I got a life coach certificate.
So I went to school.
It took me like a year and ahalf.
It was it was a program, but itwas one of the top programs.
It was it cost me like 15 grand.
So it was literally like goingback to school.
Um, but it was very involved.
Like every quarter, you would doa weekend of intense, like
(15:44):
12-hour days of just likepracticing coaching and learning
techniques.
And yeah.
So it was a very reputableschool, and that's what I
wanted.
I want something hands-on.
So I started coaching, and thenI was life coaching adults, and
I was like, I cannot listen toanother problem from an adult
where it's in my head, I'm like,dude, build a bridge, get past
it.
(16:04):
Like, this is this is notsomething to be upset about
right now.
So I was like, okay, probablynot my niche there.
And I was like, I think I justneed athletes.
I need the athlete who can takesome hard truths, but is also
struggling with things that Istruggled with, you know,
growing up in sports.
And that felt very true tomyself and to the type of client
(16:27):
I wanted to work with.
So then we went full force, wentfull swing.
SPEAKER_02 (16:31):
I have a question.
I know they're different, butlike, how is like a life coach
different from a therapist?
SPEAKER_00 (16:37):
Very good question, because they are different.
So life coaches are there tohelp you achieve goals, right?
Or or help you remove blockers.
Therapists are there to help youheal trauma wounds.
I see.
So if I'm working with anathlete and they say something
that is out of my realm or likehave some sort of trigger word
(17:00):
that comes up or says anything alittle, you know, a little too
much for the life coach, I willthen say, Hey, I think you need
to discuss this with atherapist.
Yeah, I think there's somethinga little deeper there.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (17:13):
I feel like so Ash Britt and I have been doing a
book club with the pod, and thepast two books we've read.
One is Untamed by Glenn andDoyle, one is The Happiness
Project by Gretchen Rubin.
I feel like both of these ladieswould be very proud of you for,
as they would say, trusting yourknowing.
And I mean, it's hard.
I I'm with you, right?
Like leaving a job where you'remaking a really good living is
(17:35):
daunting.
And then just doing somethingentirely new is also daunting
and investing in yourself andlike making a big financial
investment to shift this.
So good for you.
SPEAKER_00 (17:45):
Thank you.
And great books.
SPEAKER_03 (17:47):
I've read them both.
So oh, nice.
Yeah, no, they're so great.
So at your company, right?
You said we kind of talked themission, but we left a little
part of it out.
So the four kind of componentsthat you focus on, you talk
about confidence, resilience,gratitude, and grit.
Is there like one when you kindof approach a new athlete?
Do you is there one area thatyou focus on more than the other
to set them up for the rest ofthem?
(18:08):
Like how do you go about that?
SPEAKER_00 (18:10):
Yeah, great question.
So if I have a new athlete, Ialways start with an assessment.
The assessment is something thatI've learned through my
training.
So it's a literal test that theywill take.
And essentially at the end ofthe assessment, I'm able to see
how they handle stress and howthey handle a regular day.
So it'll give me two differentcharts.
(18:32):
And when I explain the charts,I'm like, hey, here's your
energy levels, is kind of how weframe it, during a stressful
day.
And it'll look chaotic andhowever.
And then it's like, here's yourenergy levels when nothing bad
is happening.
Not necessarily anything likehappy or sad, you know, but just
like a neutral day.
And then from there, we justaddress each level.
So like the first level is likethe victim mentality, right?
(18:55):
Like, oh, this poor me, this ishappening to me, like very
stuck, very, very stuck.
And then helping them go up inthe levels.
The second level is more of likethat conflict of like, I want to
fight, right?
Like, nope, I'm upset, likeeverything is wrong.
But it's a little bit more of abetter energy than being like
(19:15):
poor me, because when you'reangry, then you're able to do
something with that anger.
So it's not like there's onething to focus on, it's really
meeting the athlete wherethey're at, and then asking
them, most athletes can't bounceback from mistakes, right?
I make a mistake and then I'mthinking about it the whole
game, and then I don't want todo this, and now I'm playing
timid.
That's that like poor me, right?
(19:36):
Like nobody cares about themistake you made.
SPEAKER_03 (19:38):
So how are you gonna let it are you gonna let it
dictate your future behavior?
SPEAKER_00 (19:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (19:43):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (19:43):
So how can I get you from being like, poor me, I made
a mistake, to at least beinglike, ugh, I made a mistake, I'm
not gonna do that again, right?
Like you're still upset, it'sstill not the best of place to
operate out of.
Like in general, we'd love forathletes to make a mistake,
shake it off, and forget aboutit.
But like if we can help themjust increase their awareness
(20:04):
that they are feeling somethingand that it's not helping their
game, then that's like a winright there.
SPEAKER_03 (20:10):
That's really interesting, you know, because
like I feel like it's so withathletes.
I've had this thought before.
If you're at a professionallevel, right, you have played
this game majority of your lifefor and like every single day
you're practicing it, but yetthere's still the people who
have a hard time in pressuremoments, or like you hear about
like those people who choke orwhatever.
(20:30):
And it's like the mental stressthat those situations puts on a
person, like you would think ateven a professional level, you
would have it on a you wouldtotally have it handled, and a
lot of them don't, you know.
So it's like probably justconstant having work on it.
Yeah.
Pressure.
I was listening to this onedocumentary about a final four
collegiate athlete.
He was for Virginia, and theywere they made it, they were the
(20:52):
number one seed, and they lostto a 16 seed in the March
Madness tournament.
And like that had never happenedbefore.
I can't remember the player'sname, but the next year he comes
back and they make it to thegame before the championship
game.
And it's like one second left.
He has three free throws toshoot to get his team there.
(21:12):
Like the and I'm listening tohim talk about it, and I'm just
like, the mental toughnessthat's the word I was looking
for, that it takes to just likecalm down, be in your body, and
not let that rattle you.
It he ended up making it andthey made it to the championship
and they won.
And I was like crying by the endof it.
But it's crazy.
(21:33):
Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_02 (21:34):
Yeah, I always like think of like Simone Biles.
Remember when she got thetwisties?
SPEAKER_03 (21:38):
Yes, yes, I do.
I know that even her, someonewho has been like goaded so hard
for so many years, like younever thought that she could get
rattled or whatever.
And it's like, yeah, it'sinteresting.
So it sounds like it's verytailored.
Is there though, even thoughyou're doing an assessment and
like kind of assessing everyoneindividually, is there a common
(22:00):
pitfall that you see athletesfall into like when they're
working with you?
SPEAKER_00 (22:04):
Yeah, I think the biggest one is just being able
to let go of mistakes.
Because what happens when youmake a mistake is your nervous
system literally tells you donot do that again.
Right?
Like if you make a mistake andyou then feel like embarrassed
or sad or mad, right?
Like your body is being like,well, don't do that again
(22:24):
because it's built to protectyou.
And because of that, don't dothat again feeling athletes will
play timid and they won't do itagain, and then they'll leave
the game frustrated because theywork their butts off and it's
not adding up.
So they're like, in practice,I'm doing this, I train X amount
of times a week outside of it,like I'm getting better, but in
(22:47):
a game, it's just notconnecting.
And that is something that Iresonate with so much, even like
playing at the collegiate level,and I'm sure professional
athletes, right?
Like any athlete can resonatewith, like, yeah, that makes
sense.
And that's the biggest one.
How do you get an athlete tounderstand that mistakes are
gonna happen, to rewire theirnervous system, their nervous
(23:08):
system, right, and to to makethe same mistake again, right?
To put themselves in avulnerable position to do it
again.
And that is the hardest partbecause it's totally up to the
athlete.
There's really nothing I can dothere, right?
It's not like I can say go do ahundred push-ups and you'll get
stronger.
Super easy.
Did you do them or did you not?
Right.
It's like I'm gonna talk to anathlete, they're gonna say, yes,
(23:30):
coach, that makes sense.
We're gonna unpack theirfeelings.
I'm gonna ask them where's thatpressure coming from?
What are you talking about?
What is the inner dialogue whenyou make a mistake?
I'm gonna teach them how to talkback to it and then they're
gonna go in a game and they'regonna do it or they're not gonna
do it.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (23:45):
That's like making me think, you know, not to keep
bringing it back to our sellingdays, but like that is that's
resonating with me where Iremember I would tell when I was
coaching my sales reps on calls,I'd be like, you are gonna get
the no.
Like, don't think that you'renot gonna get a no.
It's going to happen.
It's gonna happen over and overand over again.
It's gonna happen probably 90%of the time.
(24:06):
So when the moment happens, likedon't shy away from it.
No, just know that you'reprepared, you know what's going
on, and you have the tools tolike overcome whatever objection
it is.
It kind of sounds to me likeit's a similar thing where it's
like you just said it, you'regonna mess up.
Like there's no way you're gonnahave perfect games.
It's not possible.
So just know that, like, whenyou mess up, you know, you might
(24:26):
be you might have a feeling, butlike know that you have the
tools to handle it and just keepit moving.
SPEAKER_00 (24:31):
No, a hundred percent.
And it's just like therepetition, right?
Like, in order to have a betterjump shot, you have to take so
many shots, right?
So it's like to think justbecause these athletes talk to
me and then they're gonna go thenext day and play the most
confident, it's like, no.
And even with their mentalaspect, I think it's even harder
and takes even more repetitionsjust because the reward isn't
(24:53):
instant, right?
Again, if I said do a hundredpush-ups a week for a month,
like you're going to getstronger, yeah, regardless.
But like with the mental side ofit, it's just not that easy.
SPEAKER_03 (25:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (25:04):
So are there like techniques you use, or is it
mostly just like kind ofacknowledging that like you made
a mistake, it's okay, likeforget about it, talk it
through, whatever.
SPEAKER_00 (25:15):
So it's like both, right?
There's definitely likeacknowledging and validating,
right?
Because at the time, similar topeople, we're all self-centered.
We all have an ego.
It's just how we are, and it'sokay to say that, right?
We've we think the world'sstaring at us at times, so it's
like validating like, hey, howyou feel is normal.
Because at the time, you don'tthink it's normal, especially
when people around you areexcelling or your friend who you
(25:38):
know you work harder than isscoring more points.
So it's just validating, like,hey, how you feel is normal.
And then as far as techniques, Iask a ton of open-ended
questions.
Because I say the best thingabout what I do is I don't have
to have the answers and I don'thave the answers because
everybody's different.
So if an athlete says, Well,it's really hard for me to let
(25:59):
go of make a mistake, I mightsay, Okay, well, like, tell me
more about that.
What are you thinking?
What are you telling yourself?
Okay, the voice that you'rehearing inside your head when
you make a mistake, whose voiceis that?
And a lot of times it's not eventheir own voice, it's the coach
or it's their parent or it'stheir team.
(26:20):
And getting them to understandthat the voice that you're
hearing isn't how you feel aboutyourself.
You don't think you suck, likeyou know that, right?
Like you're having a problembecause you know that you've
practiced, but it's not payingoff, so it's not connecting.
So it's just like getting themto learn how to talk back to
that voice is like step one.
Well, step one is just likeacknowledging that you're
(26:41):
hearing something, right?
Because they try to just blockit out.
So I'm like, if you can in agame, if you make a mistake and
you go, oh, that was sucky.
And if you can just be like, oh,hold on, that is that voice
inside of my head and justacknowledge it, huge win.
And then eventually we'll learnhow to talk back to it.
Like words to have, like for me,I always use next play.
(27:02):
So like in college, if I messsomething up and I was stuck,
I'm like, okay, like it's nextplay, right?
And like eventually we'll get tolike, okay, what is your word or
your phrase and stuff like that?
SPEAKER_03 (27:12):
Yeah.
Is there, do you have a, youknow, without naming names or
whatever, giving anything toospecific, but is there an
athlete you worked with that youhave like a special fun moment
or like a breakthrough momentthat kind of resonates with you,
you know, since you've beendoing this?
SPEAKER_00 (27:26):
Oh, I have so many athletes when you said that.
But I I'm working with anathlete for the first time.
And this athlete was excitingbecause they found me through my
website.
So it was like a completestranger, not somebody I've
worked with or a team.
So that was really fun ingeneral.
And she's younger, but it's it'sjust oh so eye-opening the
(27:46):
stress that 11-year-olds put onthemselves, right?
And and that's like how itstarts.
It starts so young, and it'slike if we don't address this
now, it's just gonna continue,whether it's with sports or
life.
So, like with this individual,there was a session where we
were talking about thedifference of playing in a game
versus playing out recess withyour friends.
(28:09):
And they were like, Well, whenI'm playing at recess, I'm
having fun.
And I'm like, Well, when you'replaying with your team, what is
it supposed to feel like?
And she just broke down andcried.
And I I love when an athletecries because in my head, I'm
like, hell yeah, we're gettingthere.
Um, but it's just like thatlevel of vulnerability that
(28:33):
these athletes are able to haveat a young age.
And I think the generation isdifferent.
Not for all of them.
For some of them, I'm like, oh,you're you grew up in the
household that I grew up, butlike for some of them, I'm like,
oh, you talk about yourfeelings.
So um interesting.
Yeah, so it's just cool to hearthem say, like, well, I don't
have fun, and then likeunpacking that of like, well,
what would you need to do tohave fun?
(28:54):
How do we make Ray Reese feellike your club team games?
And like those moments are justcool when they start to connect
it.
SPEAKER_02 (29:02):
Yeah.
Do you feel like thisgeneration, like the younger
generation, is more likeemotionally intelligent than
like maybe ours?
Because I always think back, I'mlike, oh, think of all the
people that like when no oneacknowledged mental health and
no one acknowledged like allthese pressure and the stress
that athletes are under, it musthave been so hard.
SPEAKER_00 (29:21):
No, great question.
I think they're emotionally morevulnerable.
I don't I can't say when I wastheir age that I would sit in a
class that I'm that myself wouldteach and open up about, yeah, I
feel pressure.
Like I might sit there and itmight resonate, but I don't know
if I'd be the one speaking up.
I see.
And these kids want to talkabout it, which is amazing.
(29:44):
Yeah.
So like the the way the classesare now, group classes are my
favorite because they'reinteractive.
There's worksheets, but I alsowork on public speaking.
Like they'll do a worksheetabout their feelings, and then
I'll say who wants to share.
And the eagerness for kids toshare and to stand up in front.
Of a room and go, I feelpressure from my parents, and I
wish it felt like this, right?
(30:05):
And they're just like, and ifthey mumble, I'll say, speak
with your chest.
Like it's a safe space room.
And yeah, it's just a good time.
So I love that.
So is it mostly kids?
Yeah.
Yes.
It's mostly kids.
The youngest I will ever have ina class, and I really don't
(30:25):
prefer it.
Is like, I'll take like anine-year-old if their parent is
there, or if they're likeemotionally capable of just
sitting there not being adistraction.
But the sweet spot are middleschool to high schoolers.
So like that 12 to like 18range.
SPEAKER_03 (30:42):
First off, I'm just so proud of you.
I feel like what you're that'sit's so amazing to put like so
meaningful.
Exactly.
Thank you.
Like putting them all in aspace, in a space where they
can, you know, say like howthey're feeling of that in front
of their peers is like prettyincredible.
But now it makes me thinkthough, how is it handling
parents?
Because you're working with theparents like for your services.
(31:02):
I'm sure they're wanting updatesor whatever, however, it's
measured.
But then I'm sure sometimesthey're also maybe part of the
problem.
So what's that like?
SPEAKER_00 (31:12):
Yeah, you know what's funny?
It's my experience, the parentsare kind of opposite of what you
said.
They're very much out of it.
I when I meet with a parent, I'mvery upfront with like my
confidentiality is with yourathlete.
If they say anything that Ithink is harmful or that needs
to be addressed or that mightrequire therapy, I will let you
(31:35):
know a thousand percent.
If you want to ask me anything,I will answer what I think is
appropriate to answer.
But it's really important thatthere's a safe space between me
and your athlete.
And they fully understand that.
If an athlete cries during asession, I do let the parent
know just because I don't wantthem to get their kid back all
triggered up and they're like,what just happened?
(31:56):
Yeah.
But I'm typically like, hey,just so you know, so-and-so
cried today, but I think it wasa really good moment if you want
to talk about, like, feel freeto call me.
But the parents that I've workedwith are just happy that their
athlete is opening up becausemost times parents are like
prying, like, well, what'swrong?
Or like, why can't you do this?
Or like, well, what are youthinking?
(32:16):
Or like they're trying to behelpful, but it's your mom and
it's your dad at the end of theday, like, they don't want to
talk to you about what'shappening.
Yeah.
So I think they're just happy tohave that safe space.
Then I will update as needed,essentially.
SPEAKER_03 (32:31):
But I am curious though, like, most of our
friends have young kids who arestarting in the next five years
to get into elementary schooland whatever.
And, you know, some of them evenmiddle school.
But like, do you have any advicefor parents as they are starting
to get their kids into sports ofjust like either like you know,
good behaviors that they canmodel or things to be aware of?
SPEAKER_00 (32:50):
Yes.
Make it fun.
Oh, make it fun, encourage yourathlete.
I used to teach an intro tobasketball class at the sports
facility that I work at now.
And it was five to seven yearolds.
And I have seen parents comeonto the court and get their kid
off because whatever behaviorthey think they were having.
(33:13):
And I'm a strict coach as it is,so I will handle it myself.
But I have seen parents likeremove their kid from class or
coach him from the side.
And it's just like, just if theyfall, just clap for them.
Like, yeah, at that early of anage, what you really need to
focus on and try to coach if youwant to coach anything is them
(33:34):
just being a good participant inclass, right?
Like, if your kid is off in thecorning spinning and doing
circles, like that is somethingthat we could say, hey, you
know, there's other kids who aretrying to learn.
Maybe we should try to focus alittle bit more, right?
Like behavioral things versusthe talent themselves.
Because like, no kid's gonna bethat talented.
(33:56):
I mean, they even if they'regood, they're still not, you
know, high school level good atfive years old.
SPEAKER_03 (34:02):
I love I love watching like little people play
like soccer and stuff.
It's so funny.
Like they cannot even figure itout.
It's awesome.
Yeah.
Okay.
So what do you think was likethe biggest challenge in doing
this and starting this?
SPEAKER_00 (34:16):
I think the biggest challenge and something that I
still definitely face is justlike imposter syndrome.
When you're first startingsomething and you're like, oh,
let's see how it goes.
And then it like starts to go,like, oh, I think I could
actually maybe do this.
There's been so many times whereI've walked into a room where
I'm like, I'm not qualified tobe here.
Or like the fact that I playeddivision two versus division
(34:38):
one, right?
Like, I feel like you typicallythink, oh, I used to play
division one and I playedoverseas basketball, and I, you
know, I have all of thisexperience to talk about, and I
don't necessarily have thatbasketball resume.
So like that's been difficult.
I recently did a conference forthe county of Department of
(34:59):
Education, which is like thebiggest thing I've done.
Cool.
And there's 200 people.
Damn.
Um, and it's just like, oh myGod, right?
Like, yeah, am I qualifiedenough to talk to this group of
people?
And as soon as I start talking,the answer is always yes.
But when I'm setting up the roomand I'm like, okay, like it's go
(35:20):
time, the nurse, right?
That athletic, like, okay, likethe inner athlete comes out.
I'm like, it's nerve-wracking.
Like, I have my little routinesbefore big talks.
But yeah, because when it's yourbusiness, it's you.
So if somebody says no, likeselling, if somebody said no,
I'm like, that's totally fine.
I would say no too.
It's expensive, like, yeah, it'skind of clunky, whatever, right?
(35:42):
But if there's ever somebody whosays no, I'm like, ooh, you
didn't need me.
And that yeah, something tolike, okay, how do we move past
that?
SPEAKER_03 (35:52):
Because I think that's the difference between I
always say that I think truly,maybe the most terrifying thing
someone could do is stand upcomedy.
I could never, never, but it'sthat type of thing where I'm
like, because if you're actingand you're on a stage, you're
acting someone else's part, butif it's comedy, it's your
material, and that's the wholenew level of vulnerability.
(36:12):
Like you're saying, like ifyou're selling some other
product, it's like they don'twant it, it's not you.
They don't, you know, that's youdon't feel this personally.
SPEAKER_02 (36:19):
Yeah.
Yes.
Really putting yourself outthere.
SPEAKER_03 (36:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (36:22):
How did that talk go?
Did it go well?
SPEAKER_00 (36:25):
It did, yeah.
It was an all-day conference.
I taught four differentworkshops.
So they would come in, they'dcome out.
It was on resilience.
The topic was resilience, built,not born.
And it was amazing.
It was a great time.
It's led to other opportunitiesand hopefully returning
(36:46):
opportunities with them.
So that was a big career moment,right?
Like if this continues on theway I want it to, and I look
back, I'll be like, that wasthat was a shift.
That was a good little bump.
SPEAKER_02 (36:59):
Yeah.
So you crushed it.
Thank you.
Imposter syndrome, no more.
SPEAKER_00 (37:06):
It's automatically gone.
Exactly.
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (37:10):
What is your favorite thing about having your
own business?
SPEAKER_00 (37:12):
Favorite thing is that I'm my own boss.
I've never liked beingmicromanaged.
So it's like, there's nobodymanaging me.
I create the material on my own.
So nobody's ever telling me whatto say.
There will be some collaborationas far as like what are you
looking for?
If I'm working with a specificteam, I'll ask, like, hey, what
are some of the issues you'refacing, common themes?
(37:35):
And then I'll say, okay, this isthe topic we're gonna do.
And I get to completely becreative, which is huge.
I didn't realize, like, I'm anarts and crafty type of person,
but I didn't realize like thecreativity I have as far as
putting on a seminar that'sgonna keep young people
entertained for 45 minutes.
(37:55):
So that has been fun.
And just continuously retweakingand rebuilding.
I'm a huge feedback girl.
I'm always like parents willcome and sit on the class, and
I'm always like, what did youthink?
Tell me what you thought.
And they're like, I came to thistopic mainly for myself, and I
just brought my kid with me.
So yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (38:15):
Very cool.
Okay, so let's say someone wantsto do not even necessarily be a
life coach or have a life coachbusiness, but does want to go
out on their own.
Is there any advice that youwould give to someone in that
position?
SPEAKER_00 (38:29):
I would say I would tell them whatever you do, do it
full out, like a hundred percentempty the tank.
Even if it even if it's not whatyou yeah, full send.
Even if you don't stick with it,that's okay.
Right?
Like, I was so sure that I wasgonna be a life coach for
adults, so positive.
And like bought the schooling,did the certificate, like
(38:53):
everything, just to then have topivot into switch.
So I would say, like, full sendit, but expect pivots, pick a
direction and then expect tochange it.
And when you do change it, justunderstand like now you're in
the process of likeentrepreneurship, like you are
here now.
Love that.
Be adaptable.
Yeah, exactly.
(39:14):
It's all about the journey.
There you go.
Look at you guys.
SPEAKER_03 (39:18):
Oh, come to my next talk.
unknown (39:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (39:21):
Well, I have so enjoyed having you on, Ash.
Is there anything else?
Any last takeaways that wedidn't ask you about or anything
that you want to share before westart to wrap up?
SPEAKER_00 (39:32):
The only thing I would say is for any person out
there, regardless of athlete,entrepreneur, whatever, whatever
you are doing in life, expect asetback.
Expect it to get hard, expectyourself to get knocked down
because life is made of thosemoments and nobody can avoid
them no matter how much we try.
(39:53):
And true mental toughness is howyou bounce back.
So if you want to cry about it,cry about it.
But understand how long youdecide to stay down and how long
you decide to cry aboutsomething is a choice.
And being a mentally tough ispicking yourself back up and
deciding to continue on.
So really big in the power ofchoosing things.
(40:16):
And I think that's just like thebiggest thing I always try to
emphasize with my athletes isit's gonna suck, you're gonna
fail, you're gonna get knockeddown.
It's a filtering process becausea small percent of people live
out their dreams and fulfill thecertain things and their goals.
And life is made to filter outthose who don't want it as bad
as they think they do.
(40:37):
So if you want it bad enough,hang on, get back up and keep
going.
Love it.
SPEAKER_03 (40:43):
Love that.
Love that.
Preach.
Well, this has been so great.
If anyone wants to check youout, Ash, or anyone in the Cali
area, where can they find you?
SPEAKER_00 (40:55):
Yes, you can find me on Instagram at Bewise Coaching.
I'm also on TikTok, also B WiseCoaching, and I have a website
which is Bewise Coaching.
I also do virtual events, and Ihave flown out for speaking
engagements.
So wherever you are, if you needme, let me know.
SPEAKER_01 (41:14):
You've done so much in like almost two years, not
even.
Keep going.
Gotta keep going.
SPEAKER_03 (41:19):
Yeah.
I can't say I'm surprised.
SPEAKER_01 (41:21):
Not easy.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_03 (41:23):
We hope everyone enjoyed this episode as much as
we did.
We will be back with a regularepisode, me and Britt on Friday.
SPEAKER_02 (41:30):
Make sure to like us, follow us, tag us, comment
at us on social media at Snitchand Pod on TikTok and Instagram.
Go to our website, snitch andpodcast.com, and tell everyone
you know about us.
SPEAKER_03 (41:42):
Thanks so much, Ash.
SPEAKER_02 (41:43):
Thanks, Ash.
SPEAKER_03 (41:43):
You're welcome.
SPEAKER_02 (41:44):
See ya.
Bye.
SPEAKER_00 (41:46):
Bye.
Ready?
Ready?
Hey everyone.
Welcome back to the latestepisode of Snitchin.
It's your host, Kristen.
And Brittany, get ready for thebest part of your day.
It's Wednesday.
You know what that means.
We've got a guest episode.
I am so excited about thisguest.
We have with us Ashley.
She is the owner of her owncoaching company, BYS Coaching.
(00:24):
And we're going to talk a littlebit about what it is that she
does with the athletes that sheworks with.
But we're also going to talk alittle bit about how, you know,
we know each other.
Ash and I worked together backin the day selling software,
slinging sales.
Woo! I have to say, Ash, firstoff, welcome to the pod.
We're so happy to have you here.
(00:45):
Yes.
Happy to be here, guys.
And Ash is coming to us fromCalifornia.
Brittany, I know you're veryjealous of that.
SPEAKER_02 (00:52):
Very jealous.
Always you should be.
I know.
SPEAKER_03 (00:55):
Well, you're from there, right?
You're born and you're a Caligirl.
Born and raised, yes.
And then Ash was out inMassachusetts for like 10 years.
Yeah, maybe like a little bitabout your background.
Why?
Yes.
No.
SPEAKER_00 (01:10):
Why would you come here?
So I played college basketball,and I was getting heavily
recruited by UC Santa Barbara,which is a Division I school out
in California, right on thebeach.
Like junior year, took a visit,met the coaches, was ready to
verbal commit and sign early andjust cruise into senior year.
(01:32):
And the head coach got a newjob.
So scholarship and everythingjust gone.
Um yes.
And at the time I had a huge egoand I didn't know anything about
the recruiting process.
So all the other D1s inCalifornia or anywhere else, I
kind of just ignored.
So senior year, nowhere to go.
(02:14):
I didn't realize how smallMassachusetts is.
And I essentially signed myletter of intent without ever
meeting the coach or visitingthe campus, was kind of just
like, all right, I'll go.
If I hate it, I'll come back.
And I ended up loving it and Istayed.
So yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (02:32):
Ash went to the same school that your brother went
to, Britt Merrimack.
Merrimack.
Oh yeah.
My parents went there too.
SPEAKER_00 (02:37):
Yes.
Oh, there you go.
Go Warriors.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (02:41):
Mary New England.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (02:43):
Go Warriors.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (02:44):
I just have to say, the first time I met Ash, so we
worked together at this company.
And I would say at the time, itwas probably like 2016.
It was the wild, wild west overthere.
Would you not agree?
Oh no, 100%.
SPEAKER_02 (02:58):
Were you guys like cold calling at that job?
SPEAKER_03 (03:01):
It was like inbound calling.
So people would sign up for theservice and then we would call
them like 20 seconds after theysigned up and try to get them to
go from a free trial to a paidsubscription.
It was very yeah.
Well, they knew why we werecalling, but like it was
basically like how many salescan you get in a day?
Like some people would beselling eight people a day.
(03:24):
It was very fun, verycompetitive, and like literally
60 men to five women.
Ash rolls in the first day.
I remember you had on like, Idon't remember exactly what you
were wearing, but I think you'rewearing your basketball shorts.
You had your basketball in hand.
And by day two, this girl islike standing on her desk, like
hyping everyone up.
(03:44):
She's like, let's go, let'slike, let's get it.
I'm like, who are you?
Literally the best energy.
Ugh, I so miss working together.
It feels like, you know, 10.
I mean, it was 10 years ago.
Feels like a lifetime ago.
SPEAKER_00 (03:59):
Yes.
I loved, I loved sitting acrossfrom Coco and 100%.
I probably had basketball shortson.
I definitely always had abasketball in my hand.
I was told that it was chill andlaid back.
I mean, we're shooting nerfbullets at each other.
There was kids on shooters.
Right.
Like I worked best standing onthe desk.
(04:21):
I felt taller.
I think it just gave me like apower of like, oh, I'm up here.
SPEAKER_03 (04:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:26):
And you know, it was a good time.
SPEAKER_03 (04:29):
Oh, but you would have loved it.
Like literally, anytime I wasannoyed, I would just like look
over at Ash.
She's fist pumping music,crushing him.
And I'm like, need people likethat around.
Yeah.
Yes.
And speaking of music, did youguys this is a very exciting day
because it's Spotify Rap Day.
Did you look at your Spotifyrapped?
SPEAKER_02 (04:47):
Yeah, 100%.
Any like surprises, or what wereour top songs?
I posted on Instagram, but Iwant an award for being in the
top 0.4% of Taylor Swift fans.
SPEAKER_03 (04:58):
Just saying, let's go, girl.
It gets smaller every year.
SPEAKER_02 (05:00):
Last year's 0.5.
SPEAKER_00 (05:02):
You're killing it.
Yeah.
That's impressive becausethere's a lot of Swifties out
there.
So that just shows that you aretop tier.
SPEAKER_02 (05:14):
I'm like, Taylor, come find me now.
You know who I am.
SPEAKER_00 (05:18):
Yes.
Free tickets to everybody in thetop 0.5%, I think is more than
fair.
SPEAKER_02 (05:23):
I would agree.
But my age was 19, which somepeople think is hilarious.
But I feel like most people's isolder.
Mine's 66.
I'm over here like what?
Who is your top artist, Ash?
SPEAKER_00 (05:37):
My top artist was.
Ooh, I'd have to go back andlook.
I'm not, I can't remember theartist, but my top song was
Ordinary by Alex Warren, ofcourse.
Nice.
Top genre was soft pop.
So I think there was one too.
Soft pop.
We're the same.
We're the same.
Oh, a little soft pop for youtoo, 66-year-old.
(05:59):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (06:00):
Yeah.
Well, we'll get this too,because I'm such a podcast nerd.
And like definitely front halfof the year was listening to so
many podcasts.
Snitchin was not even in my topthree podcasts for the year.
Nice.
It's okay.
SPEAKER_02 (06:14):
Next year.
SPEAKER_03 (06:15):
Yeah, next year.
SPEAKER_02 (06:15):
You listen to podcasts that are like three
hours long, too.
SPEAKER_03 (06:18):
It's just always on.
Like when I'm walking, when I'mdriving, anything.
I'm always listening.
So Armchair Expert, shout outArmchair Expert, top 0.5%
listeners.
Nice.
Let's go.
Almost at my level.
Almost.
Almost.
And then the Daily, The Toast,Snitchin, and then Call Her
Daddy.
SPEAKER_00 (06:36):
Wow.
Okay.
But this is like the number onequestion that I need to know is
what playback speed do youlisten to your podcast at?
SPEAKER_03 (06:44):
I love that question.
Great question.
I listen at like a consistent1.4 to 1.5.
SPEAKER_02 (06:51):
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03 (06:52):
What about you guys?
SPEAKER_02 (06:53):
I always like try to do it at like 1.5 or something,
but then I ended up doing it atlike 1.2.
So you guys are going to thinkI'm cracked out because I'm a
1.8er.
SPEAKER_03 (07:02):
Wow.
Respect.
No, you know what?
I think this is too.
We both went to sell software atother companies in Boston.
And I think hearing yourself onthe phone so frequently, at
least that's how my experience,like, and just listening to
sales calls, you know, if youmanage a team, you're listening
to their calls.
Like, I have no patience.
The faster, the better.
Let's get through it.
I think that's a part of thereason why I listen to things
(07:23):
fast because I can get up to the1.8.
Like respect.
I get that.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:28):
Good call out because like training videos,
right?
Call views could definitely bethat.
I also feel like when I listento like anything less than 1.8,
they're talking slow.
Could be my ADHD, you know,could be that.
But I like I listened it to 1.8and it reads like it comes
through as normal speed.
(07:49):
I also think Californians talkfaster.
Oh, you think maybe?
I do think a little bit.
We're supposed to be laid backand chill, but that's just
depends where in California.
SPEAKER_03 (07:59):
Yeah.
I mean, I I get it though.
Like people who listen just on aplane, one speed.
I don't think you're not doingit right.
SPEAKER_02 (08:07):
No.
Except snitching.
Listen to us on one speed.
SPEAKER_03 (08:10):
Listen, listen.
100%.
Yeah.
We listen to any speed you wantif you're listening to
snitching.
SPEAKER_00 (08:15):
But for everything else, you're not.
We don't discriminate on speed.
Good.
Good.
Just listen multiple times.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (08:22):
Yes.
Exactly.
And rate us and all that.
You know.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (08:25):
Like, subscribe.
All of it.
Find us on Instagram.
SPEAKER_03 (08:29):
Everything.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, let's, I think we shouldget into it.
I am so excited to talk to you alittle bit more about what
you're doing now in your companyand some of the things that you
do when you're working withathletes.
So just to tee it up and let meknow if I'm getting any of this
wrong.
When did you find like when didyou start BYS coaching?
SPEAKER_00 (08:48):
I had my first official class March of 2024.
March 2026, it'll be two years.
Yeah.
My very first class ever.
It was March 2024.
There were five athletes, fourgirls, one boy aged 11, chewing
on a bottle cap because his momwas late to pick him up.
(09:11):
And I wanted so badly to reachinto his mouth, rip it out,
throw it away, or have himswallow it.
Literally either one.
Yeah.
I had no presentation, noworksheets, no games.
I like compared to what I havenow, it was literally me, a
whiteboard, and a piece of paperwith an outline of what I wanted
to talk about.
SPEAKER_03 (09:31):
So yeah, that is how we started.
Started from the bottom, nowwe're here.
Exactly.
Very cool.
And really what the mission isis you train the mindset behind
an athlete.
So you have a few different likefocus areas, but you teach young
competitors how to turn pressurepressure into privilege,
setbacks into fuel, and goalsinto habits.
I love that mission statement.
(09:51):
But obviously, like I feel likethis wouldn't have started had
you not had your own passion forbasketball, for being an
athlete.
So we talked a little bit aboutit.
You were recruited to Bostonthrough Merrimack to play
basketball at the college level.
But when did you fall in lovewith playing basketball?
And what was maybe the biggestlesson that you learned from it
growing up?
SPEAKER_00 (10:09):
Yeah.
So I was considered a latebloomer in the sports world.
I didn't start playingbasketball until like 10, which
still seems pretty young, butmost people are like, you know,
four or five, their little kids'classes.
I did everything besidesbasketball.
So I did like karate, baseball,dance.
And then eventually I picked upa basketball.
And once I did, it was like gameover.
(10:31):
So I feel like I instantly fellin love.
I have a natural work ethic.
My dad's in law enforcement.
My mom was a personal fitnesstrainer.
So I feel like I just grew up ina strict, like get up early,
work hard type of mentality.
And it just resonated with me.
So that is something I feel likekids have that and they still
can be lazy, but that wasn't thecase for me.
(10:53):
The biggest thing I've learned,especially at a young age, is
perseverance.
Because playing sports andgetting to the collegiate level
is so hard.
It is so, so hard.
Aside from being physicallyskilled, which you have to be,
right?
I'm only 5'4.
(11:14):
So to even be recruited divisionone the way that I was isn't
something that most peoplemight, like you have to have
some skill there.
But like to get there physicallyand all the training hours, but
then the mental aspect ofwatching everybody else who's
bigger, taller, but maybe not asskilled, it's easier for them,
(11:34):
right?
Like there's just like thiswhole comparison, and when
you're young, you can't help butdo that.
And but I think the biggestthing was yeah, just persevering
through the ups and downs, andeventually, you know, you'll get
there.
SPEAKER_03 (11:46):
I love that.
Did you have a favoritebasketball star growing up?
SPEAKER_00 (11:49):
So growing up, no, you know, and still it's so hard
to have a favorite basketballstar because I just love the
game.
So if somebody has the game on,I have no problem watching it.
I don't even care who's playing,if it's college, like high
school, I don't care.
Like I'm down and I'll get intoit.
But like a favorite player, no.
I can name favorite players forspecific things, but just not
(12:10):
like one that I'm like obsessedwith or like grew up idolizing.
SPEAKER_02 (12:15):
What teams do you root for?
SPEAKER_00 (12:17):
In college, I rooted for the Warriors.
I was a big Steph Curry girl.
It was like right when he wascoming into his career.
I could be wrong on that, butlike he was small, he was
shifty, he has a really goodthree-pointer.
He went to Davidson, right?
Which is like a great school,but it wasn't like he went to
UNC or like you, you know.
(12:38):
So I just liked his story and itresonated.
And in college, I had a bigposter of him in my locker.
SPEAKER_03 (12:44):
Oh I did I ever tell you I saw him in Ireland at the
Guinness Factory?
No, you did not.
SPEAKER_00 (12:50):
Yeah, I think I knew that.
SPEAKER_03 (12:51):
I had like a six-month period where I would
not shut up about Steph Curry,and like friends of mine would
be like, Yeah, we know who heis.
Like the first time I've everheard of him.
I'm like, Do you guys know aboutthis guy?
He's legit.
He's so legit.
He's changing the game.
His three fours.
It was very serendipitous.
I was at the Guinness Factory.
We get this open table rightnear like the big glass window.
(13:12):
And this woman comes up, and I'mlooking at her, and I'm like,
she looks really familiar.
Sure enough, it's his wife,Aisha Curry.
And I'd seen her cooking show.
And then he comes up rightbehind with either like a tour
guide, there was a couple ofpeople with them, and my mouth
just dropped.
And my friend Jill, who I waswith, who wasn't facing them,
goes, You look like you just sawa celebrity or something.
Like, did who's here?
(13:33):
Like she caught it on my face,and I was just like, frozen.
Brittany, of course.
Freeze.
Yeah.
Freeze.
That's my response for sure.
Got it.
I got a photo of the back of hishead, which was very exciting,
but that was that was where thatended.
But I love that answer.
So you started a couple of yearsago, the company.
What made you like want to gointo business for yourself?
(13:54):
And I I do want to preface bysaying I do remember at our work
days, you had started like aself-improvement blog.
Do you remember?
And I did.
So you you always kind of hadthat, you know, like you said,
grind, the perseverance, likeyou always had that passion to
do stuff like this.
So what made you want to start?
SPEAKER_00 (14:14):
Yes.
Ah, B Wise blog.
That just brought me back.
I had like 300 people followingit.
It was, yeah, yeah, it was agood time.
What made me want to start?
So, like our sales background,right?
So after constant contact, Iwent to Hubspot, which is a
really big company.
I was there for four years.
I loved it until I didn't.
(14:35):
And just your typicalpost-pandemic tech company
stress, micromanage vibes, andthe grind of getting the cell
and the excitement of closingsomething big just no longer
satisfied me.
And it was hard because at thattime I was making over 150,000
bucks.
And that was like without evenhitting my quota every month.
(14:58):
So just getting by.
But I would wake up crying orjust like didn't want to do it.
And I felt that way probably forlike six months.
And it's so against the grain ofwho I was and or who I am.
So yeah, I was living with myparents at the time, and I just
thought, you know what?
If I'm gonna make any changes,now's the time.
(15:19):
So I quit HubSpot and I waslike, I'm gonna be a life coach.
I got a life coach certificate.
So I went to school.
It took me like a year and ahalf.
It was it was a program, but itwas one of the top programs.
It was it cost me like 15 grand.
So it was literally like goingback to school.
Um, but it was very involved.
Like every quarter, you would doa weekend of intense, like
(15:44):
12-hour days of just likepracticing coaching and learning
techniques.
And yeah.
So it was a very reputableschool, and that's what I
wanted.
I want something hands-on.
So I started coaching, and thenI was life coaching adults, and
I was like, I cannot listen toanother problem from an adult
where it's in my head, I'm like,dude, build a bridge, get past
it.
(16:04):
Like, this is this is notsomething to be upset about
right now.
So I was like, okay, probablynot my niche there.
And I was like, I think I justneed athletes.
I need the athlete who can takesome hard truths, but is also
struggling with things that Istruggled with, you know,
growing up in sports.
And that felt very true tomyself and to the type of client
(16:27):
I wanted to work with.
So then we went full force, wentfull swing.
SPEAKER_02 (16:31):
I have a question.
I know they're different, butlike, how is like a life coach
different from a therapist?
SPEAKER_00 (16:37):
Very good question, because they are different.
So life coaches are there tohelp you achieve goals, right?
Or or help you remove blockers.
Therapists are there to help youheal trauma wounds.
I see.
So if I'm working with anathlete and they say something
that is out of my realm or likehave some sort of trigger word
(17:00):
that comes up or says anything alittle, you know, a little too
much for the life coach, I willthen say, Hey, I think you need
to discuss this with atherapist.
Yeah, I think there's somethinga little deeper there.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (17:13):
I feel like so Ash Britt and I have been doing a
book club with the pod, and thepast two books we've read.
One is Untamed by Glenn andDoyle, one is The Happiness
Project by Gretchen Rubin.
I feel like both of these ladieswould be very proud of you for,
as they would say, trusting yourknowing.
And I mean, it's hard.
I I'm with you, right?
Like leaving a job where you'remaking a really good living is
(17:35):
daunting.
And then just doing somethingentirely new is also daunting
and investing in yourself andlike making a big financial
investment to shift this.
So good for you.
SPEAKER_00 (17:45):
Thank you.
And great books.
SPEAKER_03 (17:47):
I've read them both.
So oh, nice.
Yeah, no, they're so great.
So at your company, right?
You said we kind of talked themission, but we left a little
part of it out.
So the four kind of componentsthat you focus on, you talk
about confidence, resilience,gratitude, and grit.
Is there like one when you kindof approach a new athlete?
Do you is there one area thatyou focus on more than the other
to set them up for the rest ofthem?
(18:08):
Like how do you go about that?
SPEAKER_00 (18:10):
Yeah, great question.
So if I have a new athlete, Ialways start with an assessment.
The assessment is something thatI've learned through my
training.
So it's a literal test that theywill take.
And essentially at the end ofthe assessment, I'm able to see
how they handle stress and howthey handle a regular day.
So it'll give me two differentcharts.
(18:32):
And when I explain the charts,I'm like, hey, here's your
energy levels, is kind of how weframe it, during a stressful
day.
And it'll look chaotic andhowever.
And then it's like, here's yourenergy levels when nothing bad
is happening.
Not necessarily anything likehappy or sad, you know, but just
like a neutral day.
And then from there, we justaddress each level.
So like the first level is likethe victim mentality, right?
(18:55):
Like, oh, this poor me, this ishappening to me, like very
stuck, very, very stuck.
And then helping them go up inthe levels.
The second level is more of likethat conflict of like, I want to
fight, right?
Like, nope, I'm upset, likeeverything is wrong.
But it's a little bit more of abetter energy than being like
(19:15):
poor me, because when you'reangry, then you're able to do
something with that anger.
So it's not like there's onething to focus on, it's really
meeting the athlete wherethey're at, and then asking
them, most athletes can't bounceback from mistakes, right?
I make a mistake and then I'mthinking about it the whole
game, and then I don't want todo this, and now I'm playing
timid.
That's that like poor me, right?
(19:36):
Like nobody cares about themistake you made.
SPEAKER_03 (19:38):
So how are you gonna let it are you gonna let it
dictate your future behavior?
SPEAKER_00 (19:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (19:43):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (19:43):
So how can I get you from being like, poor me, I made
a mistake, to at least beinglike, ugh, I made a mistake, I'm
not gonna do that again, right?
Like you're still upset, it'sstill not the best of place to
operate out of.
Like in general, we'd love forathletes to make a mistake,
shake it off, and forget aboutit.
But like if we can help themjust increase their awareness
(20:04):
that they are feeling somethingand that it's not helping their
game, then that's like a winright there.
SPEAKER_03 (20:10):
That's really interesting, you know, because
like I feel like it's so withathletes.
I've had this thought before.
If you're at a professionallevel, right, you have played
this game majority of your lifefor and like every single day
you're practicing it, but yetthere's still the people who
have a hard time in pressuremoments, or like you hear about
like those people who choke orwhatever.
(20:30):
And it's like the mental stressthat those situations puts on a
person, like you would think ateven a professional level, you
would have it on a you wouldtotally have it handled, and a
lot of them don't, you know.
So it's like probably justconstant having work on it.
Yeah.
Pressure.
I was listening to this onedocumentary about a final four
collegiate athlete.
He was for Virginia, and theywere they made it, they were the
(20:52):
number one seed, and they lostto a 16 seed in the March
Madness tournament.
And like that had never happenedbefore.
I can't remember the player'sname, but the next year he comes
back and they make it to thegame before the championship
game.
And it's like one second left.
He has three free throws toshoot to get his team there.
(21:12):
Like the and I'm listening tohim talk about it, and I'm just
like, the mental toughnessthat's the word I was looking
for, that it takes to just likecalm down, be in your body, and
not let that rattle you.
It he ended up making it andthey made it to the championship
and they won.
And I was like crying by the endof it.
But it's crazy.
(21:33):
Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_02 (21:34):
Yeah, I always like think of like Simone Biles.
Remember when she got thetwisties?
SPEAKER_03 (21:38):
Yes, yes, I do.
I know that even her, someonewho has been like goaded so hard
for so many years, like younever thought that she could get
rattled or whatever.
And it's like, yeah, it'sinteresting.
So it sounds like it's verytailored.
Is there though, even thoughyou're doing an assessment and
like kind of assessing everyoneindividually, is there a common
(22:00):
pitfall that you see athletesfall into like when they're
working with you?
SPEAKER_00 (22:04):
Yeah, I think the biggest one is just being able
to let go of mistakes.
Because what happens when youmake a mistake is your nervous
system literally tells you donot do that again.
Right?
Like if you make a mistake andyou then feel like embarrassed
or sad or mad, right?
Like your body is being like,well, don't do that again
(22:24):
because it's built to protectyou.
And because of that, don't dothat again feeling athletes will
play timid and they won't do itagain, and then they'll leave
the game frustrated because theywork their butts off and it's
not adding up.
So they're like, in practice,I'm doing this, I train X amount
of times a week outside of it,like I'm getting better, but in
(22:47):
a game, it's just notconnecting.
And that is something that Iresonate with so much, even like
playing at the collegiate level,and I'm sure professional
athletes, right?
Like any athlete can resonatewith, like, yeah, that makes
sense.
And that's the biggest one.
How do you get an athlete tounderstand that mistakes are
gonna happen, to rewire theirnervous system, their nervous
(23:08):
system, right, and to to makethe same mistake again, right?
To put themselves in avulnerable position to do it
again.
And that is the hardest partbecause it's totally up to the
athlete.
There's really nothing I can dothere, right?
It's not like I can say go do ahundred push-ups and you'll get
stronger.
Super easy.
Did you do them or did you not?
Right.
It's like I'm gonna talk to anathlete, they're gonna say, yes,
(23:30):
coach, that makes sense.
We're gonna unpack theirfeelings.
I'm gonna ask them where's thatpressure coming from?
What are you talking about?
What is the inner dialogue whenyou make a mistake?
I'm gonna teach them how to talkback to it and then they're
gonna go in a game and they'regonna do it or they're not gonna
do it.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (23:45):
That's like making me think, you know, not to keep
bringing it back to our sellingdays, but like that is that's
resonating with me where Iremember I would tell when I was
coaching my sales reps on calls,I'd be like, you are gonna get
the no.
Like, don't think that you'renot gonna get a no.
It's going to happen.
It's gonna happen over and overand over again.
It's gonna happen probably 90%of the time.
(24:06):
So when the moment happens, likedon't shy away from it.
No, just know that you'reprepared, you know what's going
on, and you have the tools tolike overcome whatever objection
it is.
It kind of sounds to me likeit's a similar thing where it's
like you just said it, you'regonna mess up.
Like there's no way you're gonnahave perfect games.
It's not possible.
So just know that, like, whenyou mess up, you know, you might
(24:26):
be you might have a feeling, butlike know that you have the
tools to handle it and just keepit moving.
SPEAKER_00 (24:31):
No, a hundred percent.
And it's just like therepetition, right?
Like, in order to have a betterjump shot, you have to take so
many shots, right?
So it's like to think justbecause these athletes talk to
me and then they're gonna go thenext day and play the most
confident, it's like, no.
And even with their mentalaspect, I think it's even harder
and takes even more repetitionsjust because the reward isn't
(24:53):
instant, right?
Again, if I said do a hundredpush-ups a week for a month,
like you're going to getstronger, yeah, regardless.
But like with the mental side ofit, it's just not that easy.
SPEAKER_03 (25:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (25:04):
So are there like techniques you use, or is it
mostly just like kind ofacknowledging that like you made
a mistake, it's okay, likeforget about it, talk it
through, whatever.
SPEAKER_00 (25:15):
So it's like both, right?
There's definitely likeacknowledging and validating,
right?
Because at the time, similar topeople, we're all self-centered.
We all have an ego.
It's just how we are, and it'sokay to say that, right?
We've we think the world'sstaring at us at times, so it's
like validating like, hey, howyou feel is normal.
Because at the time, you don'tthink it's normal, especially
when people around you areexcelling or your friend who you
(25:38):
know you work harder than isscoring more points.
So it's just validating, like,hey, how you feel is normal.
And then as far as techniques, Iask a ton of open-ended
questions.
Because I say the best thingabout what I do is I don't have
to have the answers and I don'thave the answers because
everybody's different.
So if an athlete says, Well,it's really hard for me to let
(25:59):
go of make a mistake, I mightsay, Okay, well, like, tell me
more about that.
What are you thinking?
What are you telling yourself?
Okay, the voice that you'rehearing inside your head when
you make a mistake, whose voiceis that?
And a lot of times it's not eventheir own voice, it's the coach
or it's their parent or it'stheir team.
(26:20):
And getting them to understandthat the voice that you're
hearing isn't how you feel aboutyourself.
You don't think you suck, likeyou know that, right?
Like you're having a problembecause you know that you've
practiced, but it's not payingoff, so it's not connecting.
So it's just like getting themto learn how to talk back to
that voice is like step one.
Well, step one is just likeacknowledging that you're
(26:41):
hearing something, right?
Because they try to just blockit out.
So I'm like, if you can in agame, if you make a mistake and
you go, oh, that was sucky.
And if you can just be like, oh,hold on, that is that voice
inside of my head and justacknowledge it, huge win.
And then eventually we'll learnhow to talk back to it.
Like words to have, like for me,I always use next play.
(27:02):
So like in college, if I messsomething up and I was stuck,
I'm like, okay, like it's nextplay, right?
And like eventually we'll get tolike, okay, what is your word or
your phrase and stuff like that?
SPEAKER_03 (27:12):
Yeah.
Is there, do you have a, youknow, without naming names or
whatever, giving anything toospecific, but is there an
athlete you worked with that youhave like a special fun moment
or like a breakthrough momentthat kind of resonates with you,
you know, since you've beendoing this?
SPEAKER_00 (27:26):
Oh, I have so many athletes when you said that.
But I I'm working with anathlete for the first time.
And this athlete was excitingbecause they found me through my
website.
So it was like a completestranger, not somebody I've
worked with or a team.
So that was really fun ingeneral.
And she's younger, but it's it'sjust oh so eye-opening the
(27:46):
stress that 11-year-olds put onthemselves, right?
And and that's like how itstarts.
It starts so young, and it'slike if we don't address this
now, it's just gonna continue,whether it's with sports or
life.
So, like with this individual,there was a session where we
were talking about thedifference of playing in a game
versus playing out recess withyour friends.
(28:09):
And they were like, Well, whenI'm playing at recess, I'm
having fun.
And I'm like, Well, when you'replaying with your team, what is
it supposed to feel like?
And she just broke down andcried.
And I I love when an athletecries because in my head, I'm
like, hell yeah, we're gettingthere.
Um, but it's just like thatlevel of vulnerability that
(28:33):
these athletes are able to haveat a young age.
And I think the generation isdifferent.
Not for all of them.
For some of them, I'm like, oh,you're you grew up in the
household that I grew up, butlike for some of them, I'm like,
oh, you talk about yourfeelings.
So um interesting.
Yeah, so it's just cool to hearthem say, like, well, I don't
have fun, and then likeunpacking that of like, well,
what would you need to do tohave fun?
(28:54):
How do we make Ray Reese feellike your club team games?
And like those moments are justcool when they start to connect
it.
SPEAKER_02 (29:02):
Yeah.
Do you feel like thisgeneration, like the younger
generation, is more likeemotionally intelligent than
like maybe ours?
Because I always think back, I'mlike, oh, think of all the
people that like when no oneacknowledged mental health and
no one acknowledged like allthese pressure and the stress
that athletes are under, it musthave been so hard.
SPEAKER_00 (29:21):
No, great question.
I think they're emotionally morevulnerable.
I don't I can't say when I wastheir age that I would sit in a
class that I'm that myself wouldteach and open up about, yeah, I
feel pressure.
Like I might sit there and itmight resonate, but I don't know
if I'd be the one speaking up.
I see.
And these kids want to talkabout it, which is amazing.
(29:44):
Yeah.
So like the the way the classesare now, group classes are my
favorite because they'reinteractive.
There's worksheets, but I alsowork on public speaking.
Like they'll do a worksheetabout their feelings, and then
I'll say who wants to share.
And the eagerness for kids toshare and to stand up in front.
Of a room and go, I feelpressure from my parents, and I
wish it felt like this, right?
(30:05):
And they're just like, and ifthey mumble, I'll say, speak
with your chest.
Like it's a safe space room.
And yeah, it's just a good time.
So I love that.
So is it mostly kids?
Yeah.
Yes.
It's mostly kids.
The youngest I will ever have ina class, and I really don't
(30:25):
prefer it.
Is like, I'll take like anine-year-old if their parent is
there, or if they're likeemotionally capable of just
sitting there not being adistraction.
But the sweet spot are middleschool to high schoolers.
So like that 12 to like 18range.
SPEAKER_03 (30:42):
First off, I'm just so proud of you.
I feel like what you're that'sit's so amazing to put like so
meaningful.
Exactly.
Thank you.
Like putting them all in aspace, in a space where they
can, you know, say like howthey're feeling of that in front
of their peers is like prettyincredible.
But now it makes me thinkthough, how is it handling
parents?
Because you're working with theparents like for your services.
(31:02):
I'm sure they're wanting updatesor whatever, however, it's
measured.
But then I'm sure sometimesthey're also maybe part of the
problem.
So what's that like?
SPEAKER_00 (31:12):
Yeah, you know what's funny?
It's my experience, the parentsare kind of opposite of what you
said.
They're very much out of it.
I when I meet with a parent, I'mvery upfront with like my
confidentiality is with yourathlete.
If they say anything that Ithink is harmful or that needs
to be addressed or that mightrequire therapy, I will let you
(31:35):
know a thousand percent.
If you want to ask me anything,I will answer what I think is
appropriate to answer.
But it's really important thatthere's a safe space between me
and your athlete.
And they fully understand that.
If an athlete cries during asession, I do let the parent
know just because I don't wantthem to get their kid back all
triggered up and they're like,what just happened?
(31:56):
Yeah.
But I'm typically like, hey,just so you know, so-and-so
cried today, but I think it wasa really good moment if you want
to talk about, like, feel freeto call me.
But the parents that I've workedwith are just happy that their
athlete is opening up becausemost times parents are like
prying, like, well, what'swrong?
Or like, why can't you do this?
Or like, well, what are youthinking?
(32:16):
Or like they're trying to behelpful, but it's your mom and
it's your dad at the end of theday, like, they don't want to
talk to you about what'shappening.
Yeah.
So I think they're just happy tohave that safe space.
Then I will update as needed,essentially.
SPEAKER_03 (32:31):
But I am curious though, like, most of our
friends have young kids who arestarting in the next five years
to get into elementary schooland whatever.
And, you know, some of them evenmiddle school.
But like, do you have any advicefor parents as they are starting
to get their kids into sports ofjust like either like you know,
good behaviors that they canmodel or things to be aware of?
SPEAKER_00 (32:50):
Yes.
Make it fun.
Oh, make it fun, encourage yourathlete.
I used to teach an intro tobasketball class at the sports
facility that I work at now.
And it was five to seven yearolds.
And I have seen parents comeonto the court and get their kid
off because whatever behaviorthey think they were having.
(33:13):
And I'm a strict coach as it is,so I will handle it myself.
But I have seen parents likeremove their kid from class or
coach him from the side.
And it's just like, just if theyfall, just clap for them.
Like, yeah, at that early of anage, what you really need to
focus on and try to coach if youwant to coach anything is them
(33:34):
just being a good participant inclass, right?
Like, if your kid is off in thecorning spinning and doing
circles, like that is somethingthat we could say, hey, you
know, there's other kids who aretrying to learn.
Maybe we should try to focus alittle bit more, right?
Like behavioral things versusthe talent themselves.
Because like, no kid's gonna bethat talented.
(33:56):
I mean, they even if they'regood, they're still not, you
know, high school level good atfive years old.
SPEAKER_03 (34:02):
I love I love watching like little people play
like soccer and stuff.
It's so funny.
Like they cannot even figure itout.
It's awesome.
Yeah.
Okay.
So what do you think was likethe biggest challenge in doing
this and starting this?
SPEAKER_00 (34:16):
I think the biggest challenge and something that I
still definitely face is justlike imposter syndrome.
When you're first startingsomething and you're like, oh,
let's see how it goes.
And then it like starts to go,like, oh, I think I could
actually maybe do this.
There's been so many times whereI've walked into a room where
I'm like, I'm not qualified tobe here.
Or like the fact that I playeddivision two versus division
(34:38):
one, right?
Like, I feel like you typicallythink, oh, I used to play
division one and I playedoverseas basketball, and I, you
know, I have all of thisexperience to talk about, and I
don't necessarily have thatbasketball resume.
So like that's been difficult.
I recently did a conference forthe county of Department of
(34:59):
Education, which is like thebiggest thing I've done.
Cool.
And there's 200 people.
Damn.
Um, and it's just like, oh myGod, right?
Like, yeah, am I qualifiedenough to talk to this group of
people?
And as soon as I start talking,the answer is always yes.
But when I'm setting up the roomand I'm like, okay, like it's go
(35:20):
time, the nurse, right?
That athletic, like, okay, likethe inner athlete comes out.
I'm like, it's nerve-wracking.
Like, I have my little routinesbefore big talks.
But yeah, because when it's yourbusiness, it's you.
So if somebody says no, likeselling, if somebody said no,
I'm like, that's totally fine.
I would say no too.
It's expensive, like, yeah, it'skind of clunky, whatever, right?
(35:42):
But if there's ever somebody whosays no, I'm like, ooh, you
didn't need me.
And that yeah, something tolike, okay, how do we move past
that?
SPEAKER_03 (35:52):
Because I think that's the difference between I
always say that I think truly,maybe the most terrifying thing
someone could do is stand upcomedy.
I could never, never, but it'sthat type of thing where I'm
like, because if you're actingand you're on a stage, you're
acting someone else's part, butif it's comedy, it's your
material, and that's the wholenew level of vulnerability.
(36:12):
Like you're saying, like ifyou're selling some other
product, it's like they don'twant it, it's not you.
They don't, you know, that's youdon't feel this personally.
SPEAKER_02 (36:19):
Yeah.
Yes.
Really putting yourself outthere.
SPEAKER_03 (36:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (36:22):
How did that talk go?
Did it go well?
SPEAKER_00 (36:25):
It did, yeah.
It was an all-day conference.
I taught four differentworkshops.
So they would come in, they'dcome out.
It was on resilience.
The topic was resilience, built,not born.
And it was amazing.
It was a great time.
It's led to other opportunitiesand hopefully returning
(36:46):
opportunities with them.
So that was a big career moment,right?
Like if this continues on theway I want it to, and I look
back, I'll be like, that wasthat was a shift.
That was a good little bump.
SPEAKER_02 (36:59):
Yeah.
So you crushed it.
Thank you.
Imposter syndrome, no more.
SPEAKER_00 (37:06):
It's automatically gone.
Exactly.
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (37:10):
What is your favorite thing about having your
own business?
SPEAKER_00 (37:12):
Favorite thing is that I'm my own boss.
I've never liked beingmicromanaged.
So it's like, there's nobodymanaging me.
I create the material on my own.
So nobody's ever telling me whatto say.
There will be some collaborationas far as like what are you
looking for?
If I'm working with a specificteam, I'll ask, like, hey, what
are some of the issues you'refacing, common themes?
(37:35):
And then I'll say, okay, this isthe topic we're gonna do.
And I get to completely becreative, which is huge.
I didn't realize, like, I'm anarts and crafty type of person,
but I didn't realize like thecreativity I have as far as
putting on a seminar that'sgonna keep young people
entertained for 45 minutes.
(37:55):
So that has been fun.
And just continuously retweakingand rebuilding.
I'm a huge feedback girl.
I'm always like parents willcome and sit on the class, and
I'm always like, what did youthink?
Tell me what you thought.
And they're like, I came to thistopic mainly for myself, and I
just brought my kid with me.
So yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (38:15):
Very cool.
Okay, so let's say someone wantsto do not even necessarily be a
life coach or have a life coachbusiness, but does want to go
out on their own.
Is there any advice that youwould give to someone in that
position?
SPEAKER_00 (38:29):
I would say I would tell them whatever you do, do it
full out, like a hundred percentempty the tank.
Even if it even if it's not whatyou yeah, full send.
Even if you don't stick with it,that's okay.
Right?
Like, I was so sure that I wasgonna be a life coach for
adults, so positive.
And like bought the schooling,did the certificate, like
(38:53):
everything, just to then have topivot into switch.
So I would say, like, full sendit, but expect pivots, pick a
direction and then expect tochange it.
And when you do change it, justunderstand like now you're in
the process of likeentrepreneurship, like you are
here now.
Love that.
Be adaptable.
Yeah, exactly.
(39:14):
It's all about the journey.
There you go.
Look at you guys.
SPEAKER_03 (39:18):
Oh, come to my next talk.
unknown (39:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (39:21):
Well, I have so enjoyed having you on, Ash.
Is there anything else?
Any last takeaways that wedidn't ask you about or anything
that you want to share before westart to wrap up?
SPEAKER_00 (39:32):
The only thing I would say is for any person out
there, regardless of athlete,entrepreneur, whatever, whatever
you are doing in life, expect asetback.
Expect it to get hard, expectyourself to get knocked down
because life is made of thosemoments and nobody can avoid
them no matter how much we try.
(39:53):
And true mental toughness is howyou bounce back.
So if you want to cry about it,cry about it.
But understand how long youdecide to stay down and how long
you decide to cry aboutsomething is a choice.
And being a mentally tough ispicking yourself back up and
deciding to continue on.
So really big in the power ofchoosing things.
(40:16):
And I think that's just like thebiggest thing I always try to
emphasize with my athletes isit's gonna suck, you're gonna
fail, you're gonna get knockeddown.
It's a filtering process becausea small percent of people live
out their dreams and fulfill thecertain things and their goals.
And life is made to filter outthose who don't want it as bad
as they think they do.
(40:37):
So if you want it bad enough,hang on, get back up and keep
going.
Love it.
SPEAKER_03 (40:43):
Love that.
Love that.
Preach.
Well, this has been so great.
If anyone wants to check youout, Ash, or anyone in the Cali
area, where can they find you?
SPEAKER_00 (40:55):
Yes, you can find me on Instagram at Bewise Coaching.
I'm also on TikTok, also B WiseCoaching, and I have a website
which is Bewise Coaching.
I also do virtual events, and Ihave flown out for speaking
engagements.
So wherever you are, if you needme, let me know.
SPEAKER_01 (41:14):
You've done so much in like almost two years, not
even.
Keep going.
Gotta keep going.
SPEAKER_03 (41:19):
Yeah.
I can't say I'm surprised.
SPEAKER_01 (41:21):
Not easy.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_03 (41:23):
We hope everyone enjoyed this episode as much as
we did.
We will be back with a regularepisode, me and Britt on Friday.
SPEAKER_02 (41:30):
Make sure to like us, follow us, tag us, comment
at us on social media at Snitchand Pod on TikTok and Instagram.
Go to our website, snitch andpodcast.com, and tell everyone
you know about us.
SPEAKER_03 (41:42):
Thanks so much, Ash.
SPEAKER_02 (41:43):
Thanks, Ash.
SPEAKER_03 (41:43):
You're welcome.
SPEAKER_02 (41:44):
See ya.
Bye.
SPEAKER_00 (41:46):
Bye.
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