Billy Coull & Willy's Chocolate Experience

This episode, we look at the AI-generated script behind the Willy Wonka ripoff, Willy's Chocolate Experience... with twists and turns you'll never see coming.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_03 (00:00):
So, Joe.

SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Yes?

SPEAKER_03 (00:02):
Guess what we're going to talk about today.
One of the world's worstdisasters of 2024.
The U.S.

SPEAKER_00 (00:08):
election?

SPEAKER_03 (00:13):
Okay, maybe that's second.
Maybe it's second worst then.

SPEAKER_00 (00:17):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (00:40):
Hello and welcome to So Bad It Has To Be AI, where we
look at all the terrible thingsmade by AI and others so bad we
can't tell the difference.
I'm Joe, and I'm with my lovelyhost, Rebecca.
How are you?

SPEAKER_03 (00:54):
Hello.
I'm doing well.
Can't complain.

SPEAKER_02 (00:57):
Now, you've been hyping up this episode for a
little while for me.

SPEAKER_03 (01:02):
Yeah, I've been hyping it up with you a bit.
I've been looking forward totalking about...
this for a long time.

SPEAKER_02 (01:11):
Good.
Okay.
So what are we going to covertoday?

SPEAKER_03 (01:15):
Well, we're going to cover Billy Cole and the Willy
Wonka disaster of 2024.

SPEAKER_02 (01:24):
All right.
I know very little about this.
I'm going to be honest.
I know some of the memes.

SPEAKER_03 (01:30):
Yeah, the memes.

SPEAKER_02 (01:31):
And that's about it.
So take me away.

SPEAKER_03 (01:33):
Yeah, the memes are...
We're good.
But the actual story behindthose memes is even better.
So to begin with, there was agentleman named Billy Cole.
I'm sure a lot of people kind ofknow that name now.
He was the face of the House ofIlluminati LLC that kind of ran

(01:54):
this Willy Wonka experience.

SPEAKER_02 (01:57):
I'm sorry.
Did you say House of Illuminati?
LLC.
LLC.
Yep.

SPEAKER_03 (02:02):
That was the name of the actual company that he's a
part of.

SPEAKER_02 (02:09):
Okay.
I'm trying to wrap my headaround that first.
Because it's not even justIlluminati LLC.
It's the House of Illuminati.

SPEAKER_03 (02:15):
It's House of Illuminati.
The is not in the title.
Just House of Illuminati.

SPEAKER_02 (02:20):
I know.
We're off to a good start.
The perfect thing you want tocall your company is...
And it looked totally legit.
It's the house of Illuminati.

SPEAKER_03 (02:32):
Yeah, it's pretty sheisty to begin with.

SPEAKER_02 (02:34):
Great.

SPEAKER_03 (02:35):
So we're off to a good start.

SPEAKER_02 (02:36):
Awesome.
All right.

SPEAKER_03 (02:37):
There's not a whole lot that predates this event as
far as stuff that Billy Cole hasdone.

SPEAKER_00 (02:45):
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (02:46):
But the solidifying event that was the Wonka
disaster took place in Glasgow,Scotland.
In February of 2024.
So

SPEAKER_02 (02:59):
those were the first thing that was really bad for
the year.

SPEAKER_03 (03:02):
Yeah.
Yeah.
This was this should have been acue for all of us that this year
was just going to not be good.
Like this was the harbinger thatthat started it all.

SPEAKER_02 (03:11):
It was like the thing that we're saying, like,
all right, we are officially inthe simulation.

SPEAKER_03 (03:14):
Yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (03:16):
And here's your first

SPEAKER_03 (03:16):
clue.
Yeah.
Here's a little breadcrumb justto just to let you know what's
what's about to happen.
Got it.
So basically, the event wassupposed to take place the
weekend of February 24th and25th.
And it was promoted the fuck outof...
It was promoted a lot, like alot of heavy advertising and

(03:42):
promotional material that wastrying to make it look like the
best thing for any kid.
Okay.
And essentially what it wassupposed to be was a ripoff of
Willy Wonka and the ChocolateFactory.
For all you Gene Wilder fans outthere, Charlie and the Chocolate
Factory for our younger audiencemembers.

(04:03):
So...
There was a lot of heavyadvertising and promotion of
this event.
This is, of course, an audiomedia and we're trying to
describe this to you.
You can look it up on theWikipedia page, but essentially
it all looks really bright andfun and stuff, but...
I

SPEAKER_02 (04:23):
will say, I'm already concerned because
Wikipedia is now flagging it asan AI-generated advertisement.

SPEAKER_03 (04:28):
Yes, yeah.
So if we look at it, it saysentertainment really big, but
then above it and below it

SPEAKER_02 (04:34):
are...
Yeah, we have enshriningentertainment.

SPEAKER_03 (04:38):
Yes, yeah.
Catagating.

SPEAKER_02 (04:41):
And then we have...
No, we don't...
It's not...
It's catgate...
Oh, cat...
No, it's catgatting.
Catgatting.
It's catgatting.
Whoa.
Live performances.
Where the R&M just have decidedto do the fusion thing from
Dragon Ball Z.

(05:01):
We have Karchitons.

SPEAKER_03 (05:05):
That's my favorite.

SPEAKER_02 (05:06):
Karchitons.
And we have Exocerdre lollipopsand a Pasadice of sweet teats.

SPEAKER_03 (05:17):
So...
Sweet teats.
Sweet teats.
I'm going to start saying thatnow.
Sweet teats.

SPEAKER_01 (05:24):
We have sweet teats and some carchy tons, baby.
That's insane.

SPEAKER_03 (05:29):
Yeah.
And then if we look at even thepicture, we look at some of this
stuff, it just looks off likeit's melting, like it's a
Salvador dolly.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_02 (05:40):
that lollipop is not going well right now.
I can see that.
It's basically drooping from theabyss while the...
little ice cream people beneaththere are just ready to get
drowned by

SPEAKER_03 (05:50):
it yeah it's like the slime from nickelodeon

SPEAKER_02 (05:55):
yeah also why is there just a random like girl
thing in this guy's balloon

SPEAKER_03 (06:00):
it's a lollipop joe it's like one of those hard
lollipops

SPEAKER_02 (06:03):
but why is there like a picture of like this
weird girl thing in it

SPEAKER_03 (06:07):
unclear i just was telling you what it was i don't
know why it why they decided togo with a girl thing that looks
really off-putting in in alollipop

SPEAKER_02 (06:20):
well and i will say this exactly looks like one of
those things where it's supposedto be like a game or something
like that yeah it shows like heythis is like this really cute
thing that's happening and thenbeneath the surface it looks
terrifying yeah if you like zoomin on it there's like a ton of
dead kids behind this thing yeahso like that's what this thing
looks like to me

SPEAKER_03 (06:39):
yeah it can't like it just it if you look at it in
detail like maybe from like apassing um glance it doesn't
look like weird but if you lookat it for like longer than two
seconds you will be like oh thisis weird i don't i don't like
this

SPEAKER_02 (06:58):
i cannot believe somebody is looking at this ad
like on facebook or somethinglike that and like you know what
this looks like a legit

SPEAKER_03 (07:08):
yeah yeah i i i'm surprised that People actually
bought into it.
But again, if you're going tolike work or scrolling through
and see it for just like a splitsecond, I'm sure it all makes
sense in your brain.
You're like, oh, yeah, soundsgood.
After the fact.
Hindsight's always 20-20.

SPEAKER_00 (07:29):
Sure.

SPEAKER_03 (07:30):
So that's what people were seeing leading up to
this event.
On the other hand, with theactual setup and presentation of
stuff, so local actors werehired to play parts and to be
the different hosts of thedifferent areas.

SPEAKER_00 (07:48):
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (07:49):
And so what ended up happening was the actors and
actresses were given literallythe script the night before they
were supposed to perform.
And once they read through it, alot of them started to think
that this may be AI generated.
And shocker, it was.
Okay.

(08:10):
So I thought it was going to bea fun idea to read through the
script for Willy's chocolateexperience.

SPEAKER_00 (08:18):
Got it.

SPEAKER_03 (08:19):
Thankfully, Gizmodo has it published on their
website.
So if anybody else wants to readthrough it after this, if you
just can't get enough of it,feel free to look it up.

SPEAKER_02 (08:31):
I just opened the website and it has the
comparison to like the AIgenerated Candyland and
literally the right picture ofthis.
comparison is just three or fourlollipops in literally what
looks like a meth house

SPEAKER_03 (08:46):
yeah it's a warehouse that's so I mean meth
houses typically are in big openspaces like warehouses so I mean
it's pretty on point and onbrand

SPEAKER_02 (08:56):
I'm just imagining Willy Wonka as Heisenberg right
now.

SPEAKER_03 (09:00):
The Gene Wilder version?
Yes.
Okay.
I mean,

SPEAKER_02 (09:04):
well, I will say- Or the Johnny Depp.
The Johnny Depp one wouldprobably fit more because Johnny
Depp would be much creepier andcrazier, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_03 (09:11):
Yeah.
Or you could go with TimotheeChalamet.

SPEAKER_02 (09:16):
I guess.

SPEAKER_03 (09:17):
But he's just not- He can't pull off a Heisenberg.
Yeah, he cannot pull off aHeisenberg.

SPEAKER_02 (09:20):
Heisenwonka.

SPEAKER_03 (09:21):
Yeah, Heisenwonka.

UNKNOWN (09:23):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (09:23):
So this is where we get into the crazy stuff.
So actually, and I should giveor point this out too, one of
the actors did post this onFacebook after the whole event.

SPEAKER_00 (09:37):
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (09:38):
So we'll get into the aftermath after we read
through the script becauseyou'll see where things kind of
took a turn even before itopened to the general public.

SPEAKER_00 (09:48):
Got it.

SPEAKER_03 (09:49):
So let's dive in to this amazing script.
The script is titled WonkaDoodles at McDuff's Chocolate
Factory.

SPEAKER_02 (09:58):
McDuff?

SPEAKER_03 (10:00):
Colon, a script.
So we're starting off strong.
Um, and, and then underneath,underneath.
Willie McDuff.
And I just want to point out toWillie McDuff.
So again, Billy Cole, I believeis, is Scottish.

(10:21):
So I guess he was trying to, youknow, make it relevant, relevant
since it was going to be inGlasgow.

SPEAKER_02 (10:28):
You know, God forbid, you know, Willie Wonka,
you know, the super, super DEIcharacter isn't relevant enough
for Scotland.

SPEAKER_03 (10:38):
Yeah, apparently not.
Apparently we got to make himreally Scottish,

SPEAKER_02 (10:43):
Joe.
We have to literally make him anegative stereotype.

SPEAKER_03 (10:46):
Yep.
Well, and also, if we look atMcDuff, I mean, that's another
cue.

SPEAKER_02 (10:52):
I'm Willie McDuff.

SPEAKER_03 (10:53):
Yeah, I'm Willie McDuff.

SPEAKER_02 (10:56):
Come get some candy.

SPEAKER_03 (10:58):
Yes.
But basically, also, if you lookat McDuff, I always think back
to the Scottish play, Macbeth.

SPEAKER_00 (11:06):
Sure.

SPEAKER_03 (11:06):
And I'm like, oh, boy, we really like, I mean,
that's a tragedy.
Macduff, tragedy, Macbeth, oh,boy.

SPEAKER_02 (11:14):
Well, I mean, I went straight to Ronald McDonald
mixed with Duff Man.
That's where I went to.

SPEAKER_03 (11:20):
Oh, Lord.

SPEAKER_02 (11:21):
That's exactly where I'm like, Macduff.

SPEAKER_03 (11:27):
I could see that.

SPEAKER_02 (11:28):
Come get your big taffy.

SPEAKER_03 (11:30):
But you have to do it in a Scottish accent like
that, Joe.

SPEAKER_02 (11:33):
Oh, McDuff.
I'm sure my Scottish accent is100% accurate.

SPEAKER_03 (11:43):
Don't come at us, Scottish people.
We're really sorry if we haveany Scottish listeners.
We don't want to offend.
So, Joe, would you mind readingthe part of Willie McDuff?
You got your Scottish accent?
I

SPEAKER_02 (11:58):
don't think I can do a scotch accent for this whole
thing.
I'll do my best Willy Wonkaimpression.
Okay.
Or I'll do my best like justwhimsical dude impression.

SPEAKER_03 (12:06):
That sounds good.

SPEAKER_02 (12:07):
All right.

SPEAKER_03 (12:08):
We can make that work.
So we have the first scene,which is Willy McDuff, colon,
introduction and audienceinteraction before entering the
Garden of Enchantment.
Scene one.
A whimsical, brightly lit stagethat hints at the magic of the
garden of, and then there's thishuge space, enchantment beyond.

(12:31):
Willie McDuff, a character ofeccentric charm and wit, stands
before the curtain that separatethe mundane from the magical.
The audience is buzzing withanticipation.

SPEAKER_02 (12:45):
Just predicting what the audience is going to do.

SPEAKER_03 (12:47):
It's a bunch of bees, Joe.
That's what they don't tell you.
They did a cold read with beesin the audience.

SPEAKER_02 (12:54):
Oh, I'm up already.
Yeah, you're up.
You're up.
With a grandiose flourish.
Ladies, gentlemen, and esteemedguests of all ages, welcome...
I am Willie McDuff, your humbleguide on this journey to the
extraordinary, the spectacular,the downright magical garden of

(13:15):
enchantment.
The downright magical garden ofenchantment.
I feel like you just brokecharacter for a second.
It was just like theextraordinary, the spectacular,
just the goddamn downrightmagical.

SPEAKER_03 (13:29):
Sounds like he's like a Pentecostal creature or
something.
He's just, he's really trying tosell you on holding those
snakes.
Audience, applause.
We're happy we're here.
Or if we were sticking withthose bees, buzz, buzz.

SPEAKER_02 (13:48):
Buzz, buzz.
Buzz, buzz.

SPEAKER_01 (13:51):
Yay, buzz, buzz.

SPEAKER_02 (13:52):
Now I'm smiling apparently.
Ah.
I see we have enthusiasts amongus.
But before we proceed, a fewformalities.
Well, not so formal.
If I have anything to say aboutit, wink.

UNKNOWN (14:09):
Wink.

SPEAKER_03 (14:12):
Now we have some stage directions where he
strides down stage closer to theaudience with a mischievous
twinkle in his eye.
Well, how am I supposed to dothat?
I don't know.
You gotta feel it, Joe.

SPEAKER_02 (14:26):
Why am I mischievous?

SPEAKER_03 (14:28):
You're Willy Wonka.
Well, Willy

SPEAKER_02 (14:30):
McDuff.
Is Willy Wonka mischievous whenhe brings the people in?

SPEAKER_03 (14:34):
Yeah, I mean, he causes people to blow up as a
blueberry and get stuck in atube.
Or two tubes or something.
I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 (14:45):
That's more of their doing, though.
He's not making them do it.

SPEAKER_03 (14:49):
Well, yeah, no, I guess he was just kind of more
of the passive observer, if youwill.
Yeah.
Well, you figured out thatmischievous twinkle in your eye.
Whatever, fine.
That's all you need to do.

SPEAKER_02 (15:02):
You see, the Garden of Enchantment isn't just any
garden.
Oh, no.
It's a place where the treeswhisper secrets of old.
The flowers sing in harmony andthe stones, well, they mostly
just sit there, but they stewit.
I just read it.
They mostly just sit there, butthey do it enchantingly.
I

SPEAKER_03 (15:22):
like that idea of stones just sitting there
enchantingly.
Just like, ooh, look at me.
I'm a stone.

SPEAKER_02 (15:28):
I'm picturing the meme where, I don't know if you
remember, but it's like that onememe where it says, hey, I'm
sorry I'm running late.
I'm waiting for the bus.
And then it's like, well, hurryup.
And then it says, waitingintensified.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_03 (15:42):
waiting intensified.

SPEAKER_02 (15:43):
I'm just imagining that meme, but just with a rock.
It's like.
sitting enchantifies.

SPEAKER_03 (15:50):
Ah! That is accurate.
That's how I imagine them too.

SPEAKER_02 (15:53):
And another stage direction for the audience.
The audience laughs.

SPEAKER_03 (15:57):
Yep.
I like how we're all justpuppets here in this whole...
We are characters in this play.
Yeah, this whole thing, thiswhole play, even the audience is
a character.
Now, I

SPEAKER_02 (16:09):
must ask, who among you has brought their sense of
wonder?
Show of hands, please.

SPEAKER_03 (16:15):
audience members raise their hands.
Some enthusiastically.
Some.
Others more timidly.
No half-assers here.

SPEAKER_02 (16:26):
Even in the ideal script, only some people are
enthusiastic about what's goingon.

SPEAKER_03 (16:32):
Yeah, the script is self-aware.
It knows.
It understands.

SPEAKER_02 (16:37):
Splendid.
And who has packed an extra pairof socks?
You know, in case the first pairgets knocked off by sheer
amazement.

SPEAKER_03 (16:46):
I like that McDuff is definitely a dad joker over
here.
You get it?
That just sums up dad joke rightthere.
I

SPEAKER_02 (16:59):
mean, I'm not going to lie.
I will admit.
That is absolutely a joke, Iwill say.
100%.
Oh, Lord.

SPEAKER_03 (17:06):
Audience laughs again.
Of

SPEAKER_02 (17:08):
course they do.
A

SPEAKER_03 (17:10):
few hands remain raised.
So apparently we have some...

SPEAKER_02 (17:13):
Some people actually brought socks.

SPEAKER_03 (17:14):
Yeah, people that were like, oh, yeah, I
definitely...
All the time.
Who brings extra socks?

SPEAKER_02 (17:20):
Yeah, see, okay, here's my thing.
I'm not upset by the random badjoke, right?

SPEAKER_03 (17:24):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (17:25):
I'm more concerned with the fact that ChatGPT
thinks people are going tolegitimately keep their hands
raised Because they have extrasocks.

SPEAKER_03 (17:33):
Yeah, they're like, nope, we came prepared.
It's fine.
We got these extra

SPEAKER_02 (17:37):
socks.
Y'all freaks need to leave.
Yeah.
We ain't doing that.

SPEAKER_03 (17:40):
I will say, the people with their hands raised
need to get the fuck out.
That's what, like, WilliamMcDuff is doing.
He's like, get out of here.
We don't need

SPEAKER_02 (17:48):
your kind.
Weeding you out.
Ah, we have some well-preparedadventurers.
Excellent.
Your journey into the gardenwill be one of awe, of laughter,
and perhaps a mild case ofbewilderment.
But fear not, for I, WillyMcDuff.
What a weird name.

(18:09):
Yeah.
Sorry.
For I, Willy McDuff, havetraversed its path many a time
and have only gotten lost.
Pause is for effect.
thrice.

SPEAKER_03 (18:21):
I like the fact that then the stage directions for
the audience say, audiencechuckles enjoying McDuff's
self-deprecating humor.

SPEAKER_02 (18:32):
Oh, Willie.

SPEAKER_03 (18:33):
Oh, you.

SPEAKER_02 (18:34):
Now, a crucial question.
Does anyone here speak fluentsquirrel?
No?
Shame.
They're the bestconversationalists in the
garden.
But worry not, for I am acertified interpreter of
squirrel, duck, And on specialoccasions, bashful tulip.
Bashful tulip?

SPEAKER_03 (18:53):
Yeah, what is a bashful tulip?
Unclear.

SPEAKER_02 (18:58):
Also, I'm a little concerned at the fact that he's
certified as an interpreter forsquirrel and duck.

SPEAKER_03 (19:03):
Yep.

SPEAKER_02 (19:04):
But only on special occasions does he know the
language for bashful tulips.

SPEAKER_03 (19:09):
He only knows it for garden party, Joe.
So then it breaks into anotheraudience direction.
Audience is visibly amused.
Some are leading in, fullyengaged in Macduff's charismatic
process.

SPEAKER_02 (19:23):
Yes, I am charismatic.

SPEAKER_03 (19:25):
Apparently so, Joe.

SPEAKER_02 (19:26):
Before we embark, I must warn you.
The garden has a way of...
enhancing one's emotions.
So, if you find yourselfinexplicably joyful or suddenly
bursting into song, embrace it!It's all part of the
enchantment.

SPEAKER_03 (19:42):
He starts to walk back towards the stage.

SPEAKER_02 (19:46):
And now, my dear friends, are you ready to leave
the mundane behind and step intoa world where the impossible
becomes possible, where everyturn brings a new wonder, and
where the only limit is yourimagination?

SPEAKER_03 (20:00):
The audience responds with cheers and

SPEAKER_02 (20:04):
applause.

SPEAKER_03 (20:05):
This audience is doing some work.

SPEAKER_02 (20:07):
If there was a guy that was doing this in front of
me, I would not be cheering.
I would be like, dude, shut thefuck up.

SPEAKER_03 (20:12):
Yeah, I'd be like, where's the snacks?
What is this garden?
We were supposed to getchocolate.

SPEAKER_02 (20:18):
Then, without further ado, let us proceed.
But remember, keep yourbelongings close, your wits
about you, and your socks wellsecured.
To the Garden of Enchantment wego! I

SPEAKER_03 (20:29):
will give ChatGPT credit for doing a callback to
their previous joke about thesocks.
It's true, you're right.
That's pretty good for AI.
Willie McDuff leads the audiencewith a dramatic gesture towards
the curtain, which slowly beginsto open, revealing the first
glimpse of the Garden ofEnchantment.

(20:50):
As lights and sounds from themagical realm spill into the
auditorium, ending the scene ona high note of anticipation and
excitement.
Woo! Woo! They need like somewonderful little smoke bombs and
like choo-choo-choo! So then wehave the second scene in the
Garden of Enchantment withWillie McDuff and the wonky

(21:12):
doodles.

SPEAKER_02 (21:13):
Oh, are you going to be a wonky doodle?

SPEAKER_03 (21:14):
Yeah, I think I'm going to be a wonky doodle.
Just for you, Joe.
All right.
The stage transforms into avibrant, mystical garden of
enchantment filled withoversized, colorful flowers,
twinkling lights, and mysteriouspathways.
Willie McDuff, with his distinctattire and sparkle in his eyes,
is joined by the playful wonkydoodles, each holding baskets

(21:37):
brimmed with an assortment ofwhimsical sweets.

SPEAKER_02 (21:40):
I am spreading my arms out wide.
Ah, welcome! Welcome to theheart of the Garden of
Enchantment, a place wherewonders never cease, and the
sweets...
he gestures towards the WonkaDoodles, are as enchanting as
the surroundings.

SPEAKER_03 (21:56):
The Wonka Doodles dance around, offering sweets to
the audience members who havefollowed them onto the stage,
transformed into the garden forthis immersive experience.

SPEAKER_02 (22:10):
Oh yeah, Wonka Doodle 1 now coming in.

SPEAKER_03 (22:12):
Oh boy, here I go.
I'm apparently tripping over apretend stone.
Why

SPEAKER_02 (22:21):
a pretend stone?
Can't it just be a stone?
Yeah, can't it

SPEAKER_03 (22:25):
just be a

SPEAKER_02 (22:25):
general stone?
I'm just imagining someone justawkwardly coming in and then
just like standing right infront

SPEAKER_03 (22:33):
and go, oh no.
Sweets flying everywhere.
So that's how I end upapparently tripping tripping
over a pretend stone and sweetsjust flying all over the place.
Oops! It seems even the stoneswant a taste of our treats.
audience.

UNKNOWN (22:53):
What?

SPEAKER_03 (22:56):
Yeah.
Like, how a pretend stone all ofa sudden wants treats even
though they just sit there andjust are enchanting.
Yeah, I don't get that.
Audience laughs as Wonka Doodle2 helps gather the sweets,
turning the mishap into aplayful act.

SPEAKER_02 (23:14):
William McDuff is chuckling.
Careful there! Our garden stonesare known to be quite the sweet
tooths.

UNKNOWN (23:21):
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

SPEAKER_03 (23:22):
But I thought you just said that they just sit
there enchantingly.
But they are enchanting.
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (23:28):
Now, dear guests, feel free to explore, but beware
of the giggle grass.
It's been known to inducespontaneous laughter.

SPEAKER_03 (23:38):
Audience members are encouraged to move around and
interact with the set pieces,including the giggle grass,
which when stepped on triggershidden speakers to play laughter

SPEAKER_01 (23:50):
sounds.

UNKNOWN (23:52):
Oh, Jesus.

SPEAKER_03 (23:52):
Oh, there I am.
Wonka Doodle 2.
Handing out a peculiarly...
Wonka Doodle 2.
Handing out a peculiarly...
I don't know why I can't saypeculiarly.
Peculiarly.
Can you say it?

SPEAKER_00 (24:11):
Peculiarly.

SPEAKER_03 (24:13):
Peculiarly.
Wonka Doodle 2.
Handing out a...
Peculiarly.
Wonky Doodle 2, handing out apeculiarly shaped candy.
Try this.
It's our latest.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, you got to keep going,apparently.

(24:33):
Oh, apparently there's like aspace again.
Like this is, and

SPEAKER_02 (24:36):
it's weird.
There's a colon because then itlooks like it's the creation's
about to

SPEAKER_03 (24:40):
talk.
Yeah, yeah.
You want me to make a voice forthe creation, too?
No.
It's like Rocky Horror.
Okay.
It's our latest creation, theWhizbang Whirly Gig.
Just be sure you're not standingupside down when you eat it, or
you might find yourselffloating.

(25:02):
What?
I don't know.
They're trying to get to thefizzy lifting drinks from the
original.
This is where they're trying tocrib from some of the Willy
Wonka stuff.

SPEAKER_02 (25:14):
I

SPEAKER_03 (25:14):
mean, you didn't have to stand on your head to
get it to activate.
Basically, you drank it and youjust got lifted up

SPEAKER_02 (25:22):
to the ceiling.
Yeah, I'm trying to figure outhow a standing...
upside down.
We'll

SPEAKER_03 (25:26):
get you floating.

SPEAKER_02 (25:28):
Do you have to be standing on the ground upside
down, like you're almost like abat kind of hanging upside down,
or do you have to be standing onyour head?

SPEAKER_03 (25:36):
Maybe they mean like you're upside down, like doing a
headstand, and then all of asudden you burp really loud and
you just float.
I don't know.
That would be my guess.

SPEAKER_02 (25:47):
Well, that means then the inverse of that would
be you burp while you're juststanding and your knees just
buckle.

SPEAKER_03 (25:53):
Yeah, you get like a huge crater

SPEAKER_02 (25:55):
underneath you.
Yeah, you just yamcha right intothe ground.

SPEAKER_03 (25:57):
Boom!

SPEAKER_01 (25:58):
This stuff's deadly.

SPEAKER_02 (26:01):
Oh, I'm back in.
Yep, you're

SPEAKER_03 (26:02):
back in, Joe.

SPEAKER_02 (26:02):
Willie McDuff is joining in on the fun.
And if anyone encounters ourtalking tulips do pay them a
compliment.
They've been a bit wiltinglately and a kind word goes a
very long way in this garden.

SPEAKER_03 (26:15):
I guess those are those bashful tulips.
Those are the bashful tulips.
They could have just said thatthey were talking tulips not
bashful.
So then the audience membersengage with the interactive
flowers offering compliments towhich the flowers respond with
pre-recorded whimsical thankyous.
I don't know how you can get awhimsical thank you though.

(26:36):
Thank you.
Ah, thank you.
I guess

SPEAKER_02 (26:40):
one of those.
It's got to sound like aPokemon.
That's how.

SPEAKER_03 (26:41):
That's, yeah.
I was going to say, pika, pika.
Then we can talk.
Now I'm back in.
Wonka Doodle 1.

SPEAKER_01 (26:48):
Just to a guest.
To

SPEAKER_03 (26:49):
just a random guest.
Oh, and if you see a butterfly,whisper your sweetest dreams to
it.
They are our official secretkeepers and dream carriers of
the garden.

SPEAKER_02 (27:00):
And I come back in, gathering everyone's attention.
Gather round.
Now, I must ask, Has anyone seenthe elusive bubble bloom?
What?
It's a rare flower that bloomsjust once every blue moon and
fills the air with shimmeringbubbles.

SPEAKER_03 (27:16):
Then apparently the stage crew discreetly activates
the bubble machines.
Filling the area with bubbles,causing excitement and wonder
among

SPEAKER_02 (27:26):
the audience.
I cannot get over how even inthe ideal AI script, This
already sounds janky as fuck.

SPEAKER_01 (27:36):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (27:37):
Where you're just having some random, like,
pre-recorded laughing noiseswhen you step on some grass.
Yep.
You're getting some pre-recordedthank yous, I guess.
From tulips.
From tulips that aren't actuallydoing anything.
They're just sitting there, andthen you just hear a speaker in
the distance.
Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 (27:53):
Yeah.
I really appreciated that.
Thanks.
I appreciate it.
We love you.
We love you.
You're so kind.

SPEAKER_02 (28:00):
And then now it just bubbles.

SPEAKER_03 (28:02):
Yep, that the crew just makes happen.
Then there's, of course, WonkyDoodle 2 pretending to catch
bubbles.

SPEAKER_02 (28:10):
Why pretend?
There are bubbles.
There are bubbles.
You don't have to pretend.
You just actually do it.
I like the idea that they'repretending to catch bubbles
where there are no bubbles.
Yep.
Even though there are bubblesover somewhere else, they're
somewhere else in the distancejust raving.

SPEAKER_01 (28:31):
What is that guy

SPEAKER_02 (28:32):
doing?

SPEAKER_03 (28:32):
Yeah, that, that actually, yeah, the bubbles are
all happening on the, like thestage right side and then stage
left.
There's this little random.
Oh, look at all these bubbles.

SPEAKER_02 (28:45):
We have one could do a one, the clumsy one.
And we have one could do a two,the tweaking one.

SPEAKER_03 (28:50):
Yep.
Apparently that's, that's youget to, well, it is taking place
in a warehouse.
So there's probably methsomewhere around.
Maybe it could be.
So apparently I'm pretending tocatch bubbles.
Quick! Each bubble holds awhisper of enchantment.
Catch one and make a wish.

SPEAKER_02 (29:08):
A whisper of

SPEAKER_03 (29:09):
enchantment?
Yeah, I don't know what awhisper of enchantment is.
So,

SPEAKER_02 (29:13):
okay, in this universe, enchantment's like
mana.
It's like a magical bank andpower-up.
It's like a natural resource ofmagic.

SPEAKER_03 (29:24):
Yep.

SPEAKER_02 (29:24):
And...
Or it's almost like the beliefin Santa Claus and like in the
Santa Claus where like Tim Allencouldn't fly and

SPEAKER_03 (29:31):
be

SPEAKER_02 (29:32):
Santa Claus without enough people believing in him
or something.
Or like it's

SPEAKER_03 (29:34):
like Peter Pan with the clapping.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For Tinkerbell to come back.

SPEAKER_02 (29:39):
Right, exactly.
So I feel like it's kind of likethat where like bubbles have
like, you get one XP ofenchantment or something like
that.
Yep, you power up

SPEAKER_03 (29:47):
just a little bit each time.

SPEAKER_02 (29:49):
Oh, it's the worst grinding ever.

SPEAKER_03 (29:51):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (29:54):
Oh, I'm back in.
Yep, you're back in.
As the bubble catching frenzycontinues.
These people are just pilingover each other to get these
bubbles, man.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_03 (30:04):
they're, like, beating people, like, with
chairs.
Some people are picking up thetulips.
There's

SPEAKER_01 (30:09):
this huge riot going

SPEAKER_03 (30:11):
on.
Yeah, there's just a riot.
The tulips

SPEAKER_01 (30:12):
are being used as weapons.
Thank you, thank you, thank you,thank you.

SPEAKER_02 (30:18):
That would be pretty wild.
Remember, in the Garden ofEnchantment, every moment is a
chance for magic.
Every corner hides a story, andevery bubble, and I catch a
bubble, apparently, holds adream.
I thought a whole, wait, holdon.
Does it hold a whisper ofenchantment or does it hold a
dream?
It's one of those two.

SPEAKER_03 (30:37):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (30:38):
Or is a dream only worth a whisper of enchantment,
which if that's the case, that'sa fucked up system.

SPEAKER_03 (30:43):
That's a really bad exchange

SPEAKER_02 (30:44):
rate.
Dreams ain't worth it.

SPEAKER_03 (30:49):
Just throw that away.
Willie opens up his hand and thebubble gently pops, releasing a
small twinkling light thatascends into the rafters,
leaving the audience in awe.
What?

SPEAKER_02 (31:03):
Whoa.
What technology?
I know we went from.
The crappiest pre-recordingequipment of all time to like
top tier.
You are getting like the best ofDisney level.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (31:15):
Pixar.

SPEAKER_02 (31:16):
Yeah.
Pixar

SPEAKER_03 (31:16):
animation right there.

SPEAKER_02 (31:18):
Right.
Animatronic automation.
Here we go.
So, oh man.
Okay.
With warmth.

SPEAKER_03 (31:25):
Say it kindly, Joe.
With a lot of warmth.

SPEAKER_02 (31:27):
All right.
Dear friends, take this time toexplore, to laugh, and to dream.
For in this garden, the magic isreal and the possibilities
are...
I've been saying the same thingfor the last like 30 minutes.
I have not said a single thingthat's different.
Yep.
I know it.
I get it.
The garden's fucking magic.
I understand.
Ugh.
For in this garden, the magic isreal and the possibilities are

(31:50):
endless.
And who knows?
The next wonder you encountermay just be around the next
bend.

SPEAKER_03 (31:55):
Scene ends with the audience fully immersed in the
interactive magical experience.
Laughter and joy filling the airas Willie McDuff and the wonky
doodles continue to engage indelight with their enchanting
antics and treats.

SPEAKER_02 (32:11):
I feel like eat again.
Shocker.
With this AI, Willy McDuff,we're really getting a Wish.com
version of Willy Wonka.

SPEAKER_03 (32:19):
Yeah, it's very Timu or Wish.

SPEAKER_02 (32:23):
Clearly, AI understands what Willy Wonka is,
but does not have thewherewithal to actually create a
character that has any remotedepth at all.
My entire character trait isjust Be whimsical.

SPEAKER_03 (32:37):
Yeah, be whimsical

SPEAKER_02 (32:39):
and mischievous.
And tell them about enchantment.
I'm not even being mischievous.
I'm just telling them, hey,guess what?
There's magic here.
Hey, guess what?
There's magic there.
Hey, guess what?
There's magic there.
That's true.

SPEAKER_03 (32:52):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (32:52):
My job is to tell you that there's magic here.

SPEAKER_03 (32:54):
Yeah, you're just pointing out the obvious.

SPEAKER_02 (32:57):
Magic, magic, magic.
Magic, magic, magic, magic.
Fuck that tulip.
Magic.

SPEAKER_03 (33:04):
It's true.
I will say he's just a bunch ofwhimsicalness and dad jokes.

SPEAKER_02 (33:10):
Now, if I had to describe myself...
I would describe myself as abunch of whimsicalness and dad
jokes.
I

SPEAKER_03 (33:18):
mean, it's true, and I love you

SPEAKER_02 (33:20):
for it.
Which means I just comparedmyself as...

SPEAKER_03 (33:21):
AI Willy

SPEAKER_02 (33:23):
Wonka.
Wish.com Willy

SPEAKER_03 (33:24):
Wonka.

SPEAKER_02 (33:27):
Yeah.
But if I had to say...
That's pretty

SPEAKER_03 (33:30):
accurate.
Yeah.
Also, I just want to point outthere's a very obvious lack of
chocolate.
You're

SPEAKER_02 (33:36):
right.
The title is like The ChocolateAdventure, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 (33:40):
Yeah, Chocolate Experience.

SPEAKER_02 (33:41):
Chocolate Experience.
We have not had any chocolateyet in this Chocolate
Experience.

SPEAKER_03 (33:44):
No, it's just a bunch of weird candy, maybe like
this Whirligig.
What is it?
Whizbang Whirligig.

SPEAKER_02 (33:51):
Yeah, so we got that.
Yeah.
Which makes me feel it's likethat one candy from Willy Wonka.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (33:57):
The Amazing Gobstopper?

SPEAKER_02 (33:58):
Yeah, it sounds like it's supposed to be The
Gobstopper.

SPEAKER_03 (34:00):
Oh, get ready, because that's not it, Joe.
There is an actual equivalentfor

SPEAKER_02 (34:06):
that thing.
Got it,

SPEAKER_03 (34:08):
okay.
And an equivalent for Slugworth,the candy manufacturer that was
in competition to Willy Wonka.
That's going to be a lot morecreepy and weird than what
actually was portrayed in themovie.
So now, scene before entry intothe dark and mysterious Twilight

(34:29):
Tunnel.
I don't

SPEAKER_02 (34:30):
think you need scene.
This is before we go in.
So we're, like, standing at theprecipice of the tunnel.

SPEAKER_03 (34:36):
Yeah, we're, like, at the mouth of the tunnel,
like, literally.

SPEAKER_02 (34:39):
All right.

SPEAKER_03 (34:40):
The vibrant colors and whimsical laughter of the
Garden of Enchantment graduallygive way to a more subdued
atmosphere.
Ooh.
The path...
The path narrows and the lightdims, leading to the entrance of
the twilight tunnel.
Willie McDuff, with a lantern inhand, gathers the audience at

(35:01):
the threshold where shadows,dance, and air of mystery
envelops the space.
The wonky doodles huddle close,their usual mirth replaced by an
eager anticipation mixed with ahint of apprehension.

SPEAKER_02 (35:17):
Okay, first off...

SPEAKER_03 (35:19):
Lots of big words there for chat, GPT.

SPEAKER_02 (35:22):
First off, usual mirth.

SPEAKER_03 (35:24):
Isn't that like a mean kind of...
What

SPEAKER_02 (35:27):
the hell is mirth?

SPEAKER_03 (35:29):
I think mirth is kind of more like kind

SPEAKER_02 (35:31):
of rough.
Especially as expressed inlaughter.

SPEAKER_03 (35:34):
Okay.
Well, then that

SPEAKER_02 (35:36):
solves that problem.
Well, thank you, ChatGPT.
You taught me something today.

SPEAKER_03 (35:38):
So that's why you used mirth there.
I understand now.

SPEAKER_02 (35:43):
But why do they have apprehension?
Isn't this where they'resupposed to be?

SPEAKER_03 (35:46):
Yeah, that's what I thought.
I thought they knew where theywere going.
I don't understand why they'reall of a sudden nervous about
it.

SPEAKER_02 (35:54):
Okay, we'll find out.
Because I'm back in.

SPEAKER_03 (35:56):
Yep, you're back

SPEAKER_02 (35:57):
in.
In a hushed tone.
drawing the audience closer.
Brave explorers, our journeythrough the Garden of
Enchantment has brought us to amost curious threshold, the
entrance to the Twilight Tunnel.

SPEAKER_03 (36:09):
The audience's chatter quiets down, their
attention captured by the changein Willy's tone and the
intriguing darkness ahead.

SPEAKER_02 (36:21):
When I stare into the Twilight Tunnel, the
Twilight Tunnel stares back.

SPEAKER_03 (36:27):
It's true.
What is

SPEAKER_02 (36:29):
Okay, I just like that they're kind of just
thinking, okay, oh shit, hegetting real now.
Like he changed his tone.
Get in close.
William Macduff gestures towardthe tunnel.
Beyond this point lies a realmof shadows and whispers, a place
where the mysteries of the nightcome alive.
Why do you have this in yourfactory?
Sorry, that's me out ofcharacter.

(36:50):
But fear not.
for though the path may beveiled in darkness, it is also
speckled with the light of athousand twilight stars.

SPEAKER_03 (36:58):
Wonky Doodle One clutches a small glowing orb,
offering a visual representationof the twilight stars William

SPEAKER_01 (37:07):
and Chad.
Hey, here's this orb.
Hey, you see?

SPEAKER_03 (37:10):
It's like a

SPEAKER_01 (37:12):
beach ball, but out of light.

SPEAKER_03 (37:13):
Wonky Doodle One's doing an interpretive dance with
the...
She's like, get out your phones.

SPEAKER_02 (37:21):
We just got a lighter.

SPEAKER_03 (37:21):
Yeah.
Get out your phones or alighter.
We got to make this lookrealistic.
A sea of stars.
Wonky Doodle 1 with a tone ofawe.
These orbs are the capturedessence of Twilight itself.
I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 (37:40):
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (37:41):
They will guide us when the stars above are shy.
Okay.
I don't know.
She sounds like she's, like,high.
Like, she literally, like, wentto, like, a bong circle before

SPEAKER_02 (37:57):
this.
She literally went to Walkadill2's house and had a great time.

SPEAKER_03 (38:00):
Yeah, she did.
Woo!

SPEAKER_02 (38:01):
Indeed, my friend.
And as we step into the shadows,remember, it is in the darkness
that the light shines brightest.
So I ask you, are you ready toembrace the unknown and discover
the secrets that lie within?

SPEAKER_03 (38:14):
The audience murmurs affirmatively.
A mix of excitement and nervousanticipation in the air.

SPEAKER_02 (38:27):
I like the idea that someone was like, hey.
Did we just walk into a hauntedhouse?
This is getting spooky.
Fear not, for you are not alone.
Together, we shall traverse thetwists and turns of the Twilight
Tunnel, and who knows whatwonders we might uncover.

SPEAKER_03 (38:43):
Willy turns to the Wonka Doodles, who are now
distributing the glowing orbs tothe audience.

SPEAKER_02 (38:48):
Oh, everyone gets an orb now.

SPEAKER_03 (38:49):
You get an orb, and you get an orb.
Everybody gets an

SPEAKER_02 (38:52):
orb.
Take this glow-in-the-dark beachball.

SPEAKER_03 (38:54):
Yeah, and do some interpretive dancing with it.

SPEAKER_02 (38:58):
These orbs are not only our light, but our promise
to each other that no matter howdark the path, we will always
find our way through together.
Shut the fuck up, Willy.
Oh my God.

SPEAKER_03 (39:11):
Getting weird.
You're insufferable.
Wonky Doodle 2, looking slightlymore courageous, steps forward.
And remember, in the TwilightTunnel, it's not just about
finding the light.
It's about finding the couragewithin ourselves to face the
dark and emerge stronger on theother side.
Oh, my

SPEAKER_02 (39:31):
God.

SPEAKER_03 (39:32):
We got, like, real Nietzsche all

SPEAKER_02 (39:34):
of a sudden.
What is happening?

SPEAKER_03 (39:36):
Ooh, I don't know.
I

SPEAKER_02 (39:37):
know it's an experience.
I know I was actually probablywrong before when I said it was,
like, his factory.

SPEAKER_03 (39:41):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (39:42):
But I feel like he's supposed to, like, just live
here, though.
Yeah.
Why are we doing this then?
If this is that freaking weirdand scary, why are we going
here?

SPEAKER_03 (39:50):
Apparently we gotta.
That's part of the experience,Joe.

SPEAKER_02 (39:54):
I just feel like the whole mischievous thing that we
were talking about beforehandwas actually the fact that
William McDuff was about tobring all these people in to
sacrifice to some weirdLovecraftian monster that's at
the end of this tunnel.

SPEAKER_03 (40:07):
That's

SPEAKER_02 (40:08):
what's going to happen.
He's just trying to coax theminto this tunnel.

SPEAKER_03 (40:12):
Yeah, he's got to make his sacrifice, his monthly
quota for this beast.

SPEAKER_02 (40:16):
Right.
That's what it's feeling likeright now.
Raising his lantern.
So with hearts brave and spiritsbold, let's...
Shut the fuck up, Will.
Let us step into the TwilightTunnel, where adventure awaits
at every shadow's edge.
After all, the greatesttreasures are often hidden in
the darkest places.

SPEAKER_03 (40:36):
Willie leads the way into the tunnel with the
audience following closelybehind, their glowing orbs
illuminating the path as theyventure into the unknown,
leaving the world of light andlaughter behind for a journey
filled with mystery anddiscovery.
All

SPEAKER_00 (40:55):
right.

SPEAKER_03 (40:55):
Scene ends as the group disappears into the mouth
of the twilight tunnel, thelight from their orbs casting a
soft glow that fades into theencompassing darkness, setting
the stage for an adventureunlike any other.
I don't know why we need to knowthat as

SPEAKER_02 (41:13):
a script.
Yeah.
Why is the script saying, hey,from this perspective that no
one's going to see.

SPEAKER_01 (41:18):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (41:18):
Because like what it's trying to do is that movie
thing, right?
Where it's the typical movietrope where people are going
into like a tunnel or somethingdark place and you just watch
them as they disappear.
Yeah.
Into the tunnel or into thedarkness.
That's what it's trying to do.
But this isn't a book.
Like you said, it sounds likeit's a book and they're
narrating the book.
Yes.
This is supposed to be a script.

SPEAKER_03 (41:37):
Supposed to be a script that we're supposed to
act out.

SPEAKER_02 (41:40):
Yeah.
So this is for like thenon-existent cameraman.

SPEAKER_03 (41:43):
Yes.
Yeah.
They just got to make itinteresting, an interesting read
for the actors.
That's what I'm hanging my haton.
Gotcha.
Okay.
Scene in the Twilight Tunnelwith Willie McDuff, the Unknown,
capital U, and the anti-graffitigobstopper.
I'm sorry, what?

(42:03):
The

SPEAKER_02 (42:03):
anti-graffiti

SPEAKER_03 (42:05):
gobstopper.
This is the everlastinggobstopper equivalent that I was
talking about

SPEAKER_02 (42:10):
earlier.
Well, okay, now I get why hesaid it because they literally
just took the name.

SPEAKER_03 (42:13):
Yeah, and put anti-graffiti.
What's anti-graffiti?
Oh, it'll explain it.
Will it?
Yes, it will.
Will it?
It will, and it will not makeany sense.

SPEAKER_02 (42:23):
That's why I asked, will it?

SPEAKER_03 (42:26):
I mean, yes, it goes, there's an equivalence.
There are words on a

SPEAKER_02 (42:31):
page.

SPEAKER_03 (42:31):
That are equivalent to anti-graffiti.

SPEAKER_02 (42:34):
You will read later on that there are the words.
words anti-graffiti gobstopperand there will be words around
it

SPEAKER_03 (42:40):
describing it

SPEAKER_02 (42:41):
got it okay

SPEAKER_03 (42:43):
Get your grave tone on, Joe.
With a serious expression.

SPEAKER_02 (43:09):
My dear adventurers, we stand on the precipice of
a...
Jesus, even when I'm trying tobe serious, I sound like such an
asshole.
We stand on the precipice of adiscovery most wondrous and
perilous.
For within these ancient wallslurks a tale not yet told of an

(43:29):
evil chocolate maker known onlyas the...
What?
Known only as the Unknown.

SPEAKER_03 (43:35):
The audience leans in, captivated by Willy's

SPEAKER_02 (43:38):
words.
Well, so was I.
The fuck is the unknown?

SPEAKER_03 (43:42):
Well, it's weird because, okay, in the stories,
the antagonist to Willy Wonkawas Slugworth.
I don't know how AI decided thatunknown was a good equivalent to
Slugworth.

SPEAKER_02 (43:57):
It almost seems like it's Slugworth mixed with
Voldemort.

SPEAKER_03 (44:01):
Yes, yeah, very much so.
That's the vibe that I got whenI went

SPEAKER_02 (44:04):
through this.
So the unknown's like a thing.

SPEAKER_03 (44:05):
Yes.

SPEAKER_02 (44:06):
It's not, we're not just...
It's an entity of sorts.
Yeah, we're not going to justsee...
and wander into the unknown, weare going to deal with a literal
character known as the unknown.

SPEAKER_03 (44:16):
Yes.

SPEAKER_02 (44:17):
Oh, God.
Okay.
This fiendishly foe has longcoveted one of my most cherished
creations, the anti-graffitigobstopper, a marvel of
confectionary science designedto aid, oh, not just any soul,
but the tireless guardians ofcleanliness.
Yes.
Our beloved mums.

(44:39):
And yes, dads too, butespecially moms, from the
endless scourge of dirty socksstrewn about by youthful
adventurers.

SPEAKER_03 (44:49):
What?
I told you.

SPEAKER_02 (44:52):
Okay, I think Chachi PT just had an aneurysm.
Because my guess, this is onlymy guess, clearly I think
they're trying to go for theanti-gravity gobsupper.

SPEAKER_03 (45:07):
Yes.

SPEAKER_02 (45:08):
And...
It screwed itself up somehow,which is weird to me because,
again, because the way that LLMswork or the large language
models work, like ChatGPT is, isthat it's just a bunch of
predictive text.

SPEAKER_03 (45:20):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (45:21):
That's all it is.
So it's going to write somethinglike anti, and then it's going
to run a million differentcalculations to think what's the
most predictive word that shouldgo after anti.
And usually that should begravity.
Right.
Yeah.
Where did it get the idea thatanti-graffiti is the next
plausible explanation for that?

(45:41):
I don't know.
I don't understand it.

SPEAKER_03 (45:43):
So my thought is it got put in wrong.
I think somebody put this inthe- It

SPEAKER_01 (45:51):
spelled checker changes to graffiti?

UNKNOWN (45:54):
Yes.

SPEAKER_03 (45:57):
I do believe that that's what happened.

SPEAKER_02 (45:58):
Oh, that's so much better.
I love that.
We are going with that instead.
So, okay.
So that happened.
But then- ChatGPT doesn'tunderstand what's going on and
also doesn't know what ananti-graffiti gobstopper would
be.

SPEAKER_03 (46:12):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (46:13):
So it's about cleanliness.

SPEAKER_03 (46:16):
Yeah, it's stopping graffiti.
So stopping people from

SPEAKER_02 (46:20):
trash and stuff.
Yeah, so it's designed to aidthe tireless gardens of
cleanliness, the moms.

SPEAKER_03 (46:27):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (46:28):
So it's like a sponge.

SPEAKER_03 (46:30):
Yeah, apparently.

SPEAKER_02 (46:31):
It's like a magic eraser.

SPEAKER_03 (46:33):
It's

SPEAKER_02 (46:34):
a Mr.
Cleaner Magic Eraser.
That's what this gobstopper is.

SPEAKER_03 (46:36):
So we'll get more into it.
It kind of is, but you'll see,like, it's kind of a little bit
unclear as to how it works, butyeah.

SPEAKER_02 (46:46):
Oh, really?
You don't think that Chad G.B.
fleshed out all the ways thatthe anti-graffiti gobstopper
works?
Color me shocked, Rebecca.

SPEAKER_03 (46:56):
A murmur of amusement and agreement ripples
through the audience.

SPEAKER_02 (47:00):
I don't have any language in this or any lines in
this.
I'm supposed to suddenly freezemid-sentence.
Where?
You didn't give me a sentence tofreeze from.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_03 (47:09):
there's no mid-sentence.

SPEAKER_02 (47:11):
Okay, I got it.

SPEAKER_03 (47:11):
And then, ah! Silence envelops the group, the
tension palpable.
Then, from the shadows, a figureemerges, cloaked in mystery and
malice.

SPEAKER_02 (47:21):
The unknown.
Oh, Jesus.

SPEAKER_03 (47:23):
Ha ha ha.
The unknown, with a voice bothsmooth and sinister.

SPEAKER_02 (47:27):
Oh, wait, I can do this.
Oh, okay.
Smooth and sinister.
Yeah.
Ah, Willie McDuff and his bandof intrepid explorers.
You have something I desire.
And with your unwitting aid, itshall be mine.
The anti-graffiti gobstopperwill no longer clean your...

(47:49):
What?
I just read ahead.
Okay.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
The anti-graffiti gobstopperwill no longer clean your
worlds.
It will turn them to chaos at mycommand.

SPEAKER_03 (48:03):
The audience gasps.
Like Patrick Star.
The audience gasps, someshifting nervously as the
unknown scans the crowd, hisgaze landing on a chosen
audience member.

SPEAKER_02 (48:23):
Wait, now I want to know what the unknown looks
like.

SPEAKER_03 (48:26):
So the person playing the unknown, it's kind
of creepy.
I won't lie.
Oh

SPEAKER_02 (48:31):
my God.
That is terrifying.
It's like a

SPEAKER_03 (48:35):
silver mask.

SPEAKER_02 (48:36):
Yeah, so it's a guy in a black robe with very long
black hair.
And, like, a scary-lookingsilver hockey mask.

SPEAKER_03 (48:44):
Yeah.
It kind of reminds me of, like,the Death Eaters in Harry
Potter.
Like, I think that's what theywere trying to go for.
Yeah, it looks like.
Yes.

SPEAKER_02 (48:52):
You there.
Yes, you will assist me inacquiring this precious suite.
Together, we shall rewrite therules of cleanliness.
What the fuck?
It's obsessed.
Together, we shall rewrite therules of cleanliness and order.
What are we doing?
What is happening?

SPEAKER_03 (49:12):
What is this about anymore?
You could have just literallycalled the unknown entropy and
just gotten away with thatbecause that's what it's doing.
You don't have to call it theunknown.
You

SPEAKER_02 (49:24):
said it best.
You said it best like 30 minutesago or whenever you said it,
which was, this is Willie'schocolate experience.
Chocolate, yes.
We are now talking about...
The dirtiness of socks and theanti-graffiti gobstopper, which
is meant to clean, help moms insome time, just some time.

(49:44):
Just some time.
Doesn't always work for dads.
Even in the magical enchantingworld of Willie's Chocolate
Adventure, there's still apatriarchal structure in place
where moms have to do all thecleaning.
Yes.
So basically a magical Mr.
Clean magic eraser, which issupposed to help people clean
things, is now going to beturned off.
into an item of chaos yes bythis by the unknown

SPEAKER_03 (50:08):
yes by this death eater looking motherfucker and

SPEAKER_02 (50:11):
he's going to rewrite the rules of cleanliness
and order

SPEAKER_03 (50:15):
yes 100 joe

SPEAKER_02 (50:18):
what is what is going on oh wait i agree with
william mcduff here becausewilliam mcduff is very confused
apparently.
Yeah, very

SPEAKER_03 (50:29):
confused.
Oh, I'm with you, Willy.
Yeah, we're all with you, 100%,buddy.
What happened?
Did anyone else feel a chill?
He looks around, feigningignorance of the unknown's
presence.

SPEAKER_02 (50:42):
You all look as if you've seen a ghost.
Or perhaps you're just feeling abit...
Whitey?
A

SPEAKER_03 (50:49):
bit whitey.
Apparently, laughter breaks thetension, so it did its job, I
guess, with us.

SPEAKER_02 (50:59):
I don't like that it's bad and makes absolutely no
sense, but somehow still it'scorrect at predicting what I'm
going to do next.
I don't like that.

SPEAKER_03 (51:08):
Yeah, it elicits the right action or reaction to it.

SPEAKER_02 (51:12):
Anyway, sorry.

SPEAKER_03 (51:13):
Laughter breaks the tension, as Willie reassures the
audience with a wink and asmile, subtly dismissing the
ominous threat of the unknown asnothing more than a momentary
illusion.

SPEAKER_02 (51:25):
Fear not, my friends, for the power of
imagination and good cheer candispel even the darkest of
shadows.
Now, let us continue our journeywith hearts light and spirits
undimmed.

SPEAKER_03 (51:37):
Transition to the bubble and lemonade room.

SPEAKER_02 (51:40):
Rebecca.

SPEAKER_03 (51:42):
Yeah?

SPEAKER_02 (51:42):
What the fuck is the bubble and lemonade room?

SPEAKER_03 (51:44):
Well, apparently it was just a table set up with a
bunch of, like, Dixie cups.

SPEAKER_02 (51:52):
Okay, that's what that sounds like.
It sounds like, hey, you were inthis horrible, dark, enchanted
tunnel of light or something.
Yep.
Let's stop over by, like, thebathroom over there and get some
refreshments.

SPEAKER_03 (52:07):
Let's stop by Crafty and get us some refreshments.

SPEAKER_02 (52:10):
Okay, well...
Oh, I'm up.
All right.
Suddenly brightening.
Speaking of light spirits, Ifound myself quite parched after
our unexpected adventure.
Why would it be unexpected?
You took them there.
You're the guide, man.
You're the guide.
But fortune smiles upon us, forjust beyond this door lies a

(52:31):
room filled with refreshmentsmost delightful.
The bubble and lemonade room.

SPEAKER_03 (52:37):
With a flourish, Willie opens a previously
unnoticed door.

SPEAKER_02 (52:44):
Apparently it just appears out of nowhere.
I like it even better where it'salways been there, but he has
his back turned.
It's like, the bubble andlemonade room.
And he's just at a wall.
And then it turns around.
Oh, it's over here.

SPEAKER_03 (52:58):
Oh, that's a better way, too.
I like that.
I like that visual.
Revealing a room where the airsparkles with floating bubbles
and rivers of sparkling lemonadeblow freely.
Now,

SPEAKER_02 (53:13):
Joe.
Rivers of lemonade.
I'm sorry, sparkling lemonade.

SPEAKER_03 (53:17):
Now, Joe, I just want to point out what it
actually looked like.
Should I look it up?
Yes, you should look it upbecause it's sad.
It's literally a table.

SPEAKER_02 (53:28):
Oh, God.
It's literally just...
Oh, my God.
It's literally just a makeshiftwall with, like, a black tarp.

SPEAKER_01 (53:38):
Yep.

SPEAKER_02 (53:39):
And then, yeah, it's just a folding table with really
shitty Dixie cups.
Yep.
And then there's a garbage bagthat's just on the ground next
to

SPEAKER_03 (53:48):
it.
Yep.
That's literally...
The Bubble and Lemonade Room!That's literally what they open
the door to.

SPEAKER_02 (53:55):
Was there even a door?
I don't even believe there was adoor.
There wasn't.
They just

SPEAKER_03 (53:58):
probably turned it because it looks like a maze.
Yeah.
So I think what it was was thatthey just basically turned a
corner and there was Crafty with

SPEAKER_02 (54:09):
its refreshments.
Here, my dear guests, you mayquench your thirst with lemonade
that fizzes and dances on thetongue and chase bubbles that
burst with flavors unimaginable.
A toast to adventures sharedwith...
Oh my God, shut the fuck up.
A toast...
toast to adventures shared andfriendships forged in the hearts

(54:30):
of the unknown.
Now, hang on.
This

SPEAKER_03 (54:32):
is the problem with calling a character the unknown.

SPEAKER_02 (54:36):
While the guy keeps talking about the unknown.
Yes.
So this is not capitalized.
So this is not.
The unknown.
This is just the general conceptof the unknown.

SPEAKER_03 (54:44):
It's like little G God and big G God.

SPEAKER_02 (54:46):
It really is.
Yes, it is.
It's little U unknown and big Uunknown.

SPEAKER_03 (54:51):
Yes, that's what we have.
The audience now relieved.
Now relieved?
Relieved.

SPEAKER_02 (54:57):
Thank God that fucking crazy weird thing came
off.
Nowhere is gone now.
I'm so happy about that.

SPEAKER_03 (55:02):
And rejuvenated by the whimsical turn of events
follows Willie into the bubbleand lemonade room.
Laughter and chatter filling theair once more as they immerse
themselves in the joyous, bubblywonderland.

SPEAKER_02 (55:18):
Come see our craft table.

SPEAKER_03 (55:20):
Here's crafty right here for you.

SPEAKER_02 (55:22):
Here it is.
Ah,

SPEAKER_03 (55:23):
feast your eyes.

SPEAKER_02 (55:24):
Again, I can't get over the fact that we were
supposed to be in this horrible,dark thing that was very scary.
Come get some craft services!

SPEAKER_03 (55:33):
All the other actors are just standing

SPEAKER_02 (55:34):
around it.
Hey, what's up?

SPEAKER_03 (55:38):
The unknown has the mask off and is just like, hey
guys, what's up?
I'll see you in scene eight.
Yeah, I'll see you when I comeback in scene eight.
Okay, what is this?
So now we're in scene colon, theimagination lab and McDuff TV.

SPEAKER_02 (55:55):
McDuff TV.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_03 (55:57):
like Mike TV from the actual book.
And movies.
So, like, Mike TV, but...

SPEAKER_02 (56:02):
I win that he just, like, bought a TV station, and
it's, like, the Oprah WinfreyNetwork, but, like, for Willie
McDuff.

SPEAKER_03 (56:08):
I mean, that's what they literally did in the thing.
They had, like, a McDuff TV,like, camera from, like, a TV
show in the warehouse.

SPEAKER_02 (56:18):
Oh, my.

SPEAKER_03 (56:18):
Yeah.
Okay.
It was ridiculous.

SPEAKER_02 (56:21):
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (56:21):
So, and, of course, we just need another scene colon
after the scene colon above.

UNKNOWN (56:28):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (56:28):
Inside the vibrant bubble and lemonade room, the
guests' laughter and enjoymentfill the air as they sip on the
fizzy, magical drinks.
Their attention is soon drawn toa mysterious door marked
Imagination Lab.
Keep out! Willie McDuff, with amischievous glint in his eye,

(56:49):
gathers the guests around theforbidden entrance.

SPEAKER_02 (56:53):
And I come in with an air of secrecy.
Ah, my curious friends, behindthis door lies the heart of our
confectionary wonders, theImagination Lab, a place where
the impossible becomes possibleand the peculiar becomes
delightful.
Shut the...
I'm going to say this.
I got to stop saying it becauseit's going to happen too often.
Again, I'm here to remind youthat dreams really do come true

(57:16):
in every freaking breath I have.
That's my entire existence.

SPEAKER_03 (57:20):
That's how whimsical I am.
I'm just one big dream, baby.
The audience leans in eager tohear more about the mystical
lab.

SPEAKER_02 (57:31):
Within these walls, we've concocted creations beyond
your wildest dreams.
McDuff TV, for instance.
Where you can watch yourfavorite flavors come to life
right before your eyes.

SPEAKER_03 (57:44):
A murmur of intrigue spreads through the crowd.
Rebel,

SPEAKER_02 (57:49):
rebel, rebel, rebel, rebel.
How could this be possible?
Rebel, rebel, rebel.
Is there even such a level ofenchantment that could make this
happen?
And let's not forget our secretinventions.
The soup-flavored jelly beans.
They are straight up justripping off Willy Wonka.

SPEAKER_03 (58:04):
Yeah, the gum that Violet Beauregard

SPEAKER_02 (58:06):
was chewing.
It tastes like soup.
The soup-flavored jelly beansdesigned to keep the wee ones
clean.
Hot and spicy beans that...
attracts the bird what and theni wink that's a story for
another day or perhaps aquestion for your parent

SPEAKER_03 (58:25):
whoa what this guy is this guy

SPEAKER_02 (58:28):
luring birds to have sex with

SPEAKER_03 (58:30):
them no i think it's the birds and the bees talk is
what i think he's trying to saythere

SPEAKER_02 (58:35):
but it really sounds like He's just luring birds.
No, because you're going to havethe hot and spicy beans, and
you're going to eat them toattract the birds to you.
Oh,

SPEAKER_03 (58:46):
I know what.
No, no, no.
Attracts the birds, as in women.
Birds is another term for womenin the UK.

SPEAKER_02 (58:54):
Oh.
That's what

SPEAKER_03 (58:55):
it is.
Yeah, it just dawned on me now.

SPEAKER_02 (58:57):
I mean, at least it's not I'm luring birds to
have sex with them.

SPEAKER_03 (59:01):
Yeah, no bestiality.
It's just straight up sexualassault.

UNKNOWN (59:06):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (59:07):
I just read ahead.

SPEAKER_03 (59:08):
Oh,

SPEAKER_02 (59:10):
yeah.
Ah, and my favorite, theboogerberry bean.
Because fuck it.
Why not?

SPEAKER_03 (59:15):
It's Bertie Botts.
It's a play on that.

SPEAKER_02 (59:17):
I know.
Again, they're just horriblyripping off everything.
Yep.
And I feel like ChatGPT shouldbe a little bit more creative
than that.
No.
Because I feel like boogerberrybean is something that literally
Billy Cole probably came up withhimself.

SPEAKER_03 (59:33):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (59:33):
Because he's not creative at all.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Freshly made from Grandpa's old,crusty hanky.
What?
A taste that's, well...
Let's just say uniquelyexquisite.

SPEAKER_03 (59:46):
What

SPEAKER_02 (59:46):
the hell?
William McDuff, what ishappening?

SPEAKER_03 (59:49):
This is the unhinged part.
We're getting there, Joe.
The next thing.
The guests exchange amused andslightly apprehensive glances.
Yeah, me too, man.
Yeah, I wouldn't

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:01):
even- Dude, I think this guy's

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:03):
fucking crazy.
Yeah, he's not normal.

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:06):
And I had to come in proudly.
And of course, the piece deresistance, the anti-graffiti
gobstopper.
Not only a marvel in keepingchildren's rooms clean, but a
testament to the wonders ofimagination and innovation.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:21):
The door slowly swings open, revealing a glimpse
of the lab's interior.
Flashes of color, bubblingconcoctions, and strange
machinery.
Now this is where the meth labpictures came from.

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:35):
Got it.
Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:37):
scene trying the strange sweets.

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:41):
Oh, no.
Now, who among you dares totaste the fruits of our
imagination?
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:50):
Yeah, I would highly advise against

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:52):
it.
Oh, my God.
Step right up and prepare for aflavor adventure-like.
Oh, sorry.
No.
Adventure-unlike.
It's one word.
One word.
Adventure-unlike.

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:03):
Any

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:03):
other?

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:04):
The guests eagerly approach a table laden with the
described sweets, each pickingtheir choice with a mix of
excitement and trepidation.
Wait!

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:15):
Wait! Wait, I read ahead.
The guests have lines in thescript.
Wait.

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:26):
Guest one.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:27):
Guest one?
Yes, guest one.
Why is it the guest one?
Okay, I love the idea thatyou're in a- You got to plant
people.
No, no, no, no.
I love the idea that you aretaking a tour and then someone
is like, hey, in this scene, youhave a part.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:45):
And just throws them a script.
Here you

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:48):
go,

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:48):
buddy.

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:49):
Yeah, or no, no.
What they do, if they were smartabout it and planned ahead,
which unfortunately we know theydid not, they would have handed
out the suite to this personwith a line wrapped around it
that says, read me.
And then they just, they're theones that just say the words.
But then it would be, oh, I haveto read this?

(01:02:09):
Okay.
Wow.
I can't believe it.
Or whatever, you know?
Because guess what?
Apparently trying thesoup-flavored jelly bean.
It's like dinner in a dessert.
Astonishing.
Guess two, having theboogerberry bean.
Oh, wow.
It's

SPEAKER_02 (01:02:29):
oddly

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:32):
gorgeous.
How is that possible?

SPEAKER_02 (01:02:36):
You tell me, guest two, what's happening?
What do you mean?
It's gorgeous.

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:42):
Yeah.
Why are you using gorgeous todescribe that?

SPEAKER_02 (01:02:46):
I bet there's just some creepy guy in the back.
One of the dads are justfist-folding these hot and spicy
beans.

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:54):
Yeah.
Some creeper dad's in the backjust like, let's see if these
give it a try.
Laughter and surprisedexclamations fill the room as
guests indulge in the whim Oh,that

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:05):
was the entire scene.
That's it.
That's the whole thing.
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (01:03:09):
Scene.
McDuff TV camera.
As the tasting continues, WillieMcDuff gestures towards an
old-fashioned camera with a signMcDuff TV on it.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:21):
And now, for a bit of fun, let's capture your
expressions for McDuff TV, theonly channel where every
reaction is a flavor sensation.
What?
I don't

SPEAKER_03 (01:03:33):
understand how that's possible.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:35):
Every reaction.
is a flavor sensation.

SPEAKER_03 (01:03:38):
Apparently happy tastes...

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:40):
Like boogerberry.

SPEAKER_03 (01:03:41):
Apparently.
Hey,

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:44):
don't get me started with what Love Island

SPEAKER_03 (01:03:46):
tastes like.
Oh, God.
The camera lights up and Williedirects the guests to react to
the flavors they'reexperiencing.
Their expressions of delight,surprise, and bemusement are
broadcast on a vintagetelevision set in the corner,
providing a hilarious andheartwarming spectacle.

(01:04:08):
I don't understand that

SPEAKER_02 (01:04:09):
at all.
So it's a camera.
Look at those marvelousexpressions.
Each face tells a story, atestament to the boundless
realms of taste and imagination.
Remember, in the ImaginationLab.
Every discovery is a steptowards joy, and every flavor
tells a tale.

SPEAKER_03 (01:04:29):
Unclear how they're tasting this, or if they're even
tasting it.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_02 (01:04:33):
again, in the ideal AI script, it's just a shitty
TV.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_03 (01:04:39):
it's just a TV, man.

SPEAKER_02 (01:04:40):
Yeah, it's a camera, man.
Ah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:04:43):
Scene ends with the guests gathered around the
television, watching themselvesand laughing together.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:49):
United...
Oh,

SPEAKER_03 (01:04:52):
there we are! united in a shared experience of wonder
and discovery willie mcduffwatches over them a satisfied
smile on his face knowing thatthe spirit of adventure and
imagination has been kindled intheir hearts

SPEAKER_02 (01:05:13):
what the fuck oh my god the next scene

SPEAKER_03 (01:05:16):
willie versus the unknown The Anti-Graffiti
Gobstopper Showdown.

SPEAKER_02 (01:05:23):
Now that is a fucking title.
That is.
That sounds like an episode ofOne Piece.

SPEAKER_03 (01:05:28):
Yes, it does.
It does.
Showdown.
Yeah, like, just imagine thatwonderful...
Willie versus the Unknown.
The Anti-Graffiti GobstopperShowdown.
The excitement within theimagination lab reaches a
crescendo as...
As the guests gather around theunprecedented spectacle.

(01:05:53):
Unprecedented.

SPEAKER_02 (01:05:54):
Yeah, that's one way to put it.
Unprecedented.
Some weird guy just made us eata bunch of random stuff and then
filmed us.

SPEAKER_03 (01:05:59):
Yeah, that's...
It's creepy.
The lights dim and a spotlightilluminates Willie McDuff
standing at one end of the roomholding the last anti-graffiti
gobstopper in his hand.
Opposite him, shrouded indarkness, emerges the Unknown.
All capital this time.
Not just the, lowercase,unknown.

(01:06:20):
Capital.
It's the guy.
The guy.
The guy.
I

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:23):
really feel like we could just name him.
Yeah.
Steve.

SPEAKER_03 (01:06:27):
Steve Slugworth.
You got people, you know?
With a device that emits asinister...
glow.
The air crackles withanticipation.
I just want to do it one time,like Rocky Horror, like
Frankenfurter.
Anticipation.

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:42):
Okay, so ChatGPT doesn't talk about at all that
the Unknown ambushes them orsomething like he attacked or
anything.
Literally in the script, it justsays that the lights dim and
William McDuff just walks overto the end of the room to get
ready for the showdown with theUnknown.
That's it.

SPEAKER_03 (01:07:02):
Yep.
What?
Yeah.
Again, even the AI script, it'sso lame.
Yeah.
He doesn't just appear in a puffof smoke out of nowhere like
Wizard of Oz or anything.
He just shows up.
He

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:17):
just walks up, hey, let's go.
Also, why is this the lastanti-graffiti gobstopper?

SPEAKER_03 (01:07:25):
Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:26):
Aren't you making more?
Yeah, is he making a ton ofthese?
Why is it the last one?

SPEAKER_03 (01:07:29):
Apparently, maybe it's the last batch.
Also, I just had a really funnythought of the unknown.
The guy who was at Crafty, youknow, the same guy dressed up
with his little mask and stuffup.
He just comes out from Crafty.

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:45):
He just walks from the table.

SPEAKER_03 (01:07:48):
He's still holding a cup and doesn't have his mask
down.
He drinks the rest of it.

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:53):
Throws it.
Let's go.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what I'm imagining.
All right.
Willie McDuff holding up thegobstopper.
Behold the culmination ofimagination and ingenuity.
The anti-graffiti gobstopper.
A suite so powerful it can makeany and any and any and any and

(01:08:18):
any and any and it can make anyand room sparkle without lifting
a finger.
Okay, but wait, hang on.

UNKNOWN (01:08:25):
Pause.

SPEAKER_03 (01:08:27):
I told you it got a little more complicated than
just

SPEAKER_02 (01:08:29):
a magic eraser.
So it's still candy.

SPEAKER_03 (01:08:32):
Yeah, it's still candy, Joe.

SPEAKER_02 (01:08:34):
But like, is it candy that you use like a magic
eraser or do you have to eat thecandy?
I

SPEAKER_03 (01:08:39):
think you have to eat the candy and it basically
incentivizes you to clean.
It's just caffeine.

SPEAKER_01 (01:08:49):
It's just caffeine.
That's all it is.

SPEAKER_03 (01:08:51):
No, it's not just caffeine, Joe.
It's cocaine.
Cocaine or meth.
One of those.

SPEAKER_02 (01:08:56):
Okay.
I'm sorry.
A sweet so powerful it can makeany in room sparkle without
lifting a finger.
But it seems our friend, theunknown, would rather use it for
less tidy purposes.

SPEAKER_03 (01:09:11):
Less tidy purposes.
You could just say evil or notgood or something.
We don't have to say less tidypurposes.
The

SPEAKER_02 (01:09:22):
unknown now comes in.
sneering.
That's right, McDuff.
Imagine the chaos, the absolutepower of turning tidiness into
turmoil.
Hand it over, and I mightconsider sparing your precious
lab.

SPEAKER_03 (01:09:37):
The audience gasps, tension mounting as the two
adversaries stand ready.
Stand ready for what?

SPEAKER_02 (01:09:46):
They're about to fist fight.
They're about to fuck each otherup.
WWE Smackdown.
Willie McDuff resolute.
In the spirit of imagination andthe pursuit of joy, I cannot let
that happen.
If it's a showdown you want,it's a showdown you'll get.

SPEAKER_03 (01:10:04):
Suddenly, the room transforms into a battlefield.

SPEAKER_02 (01:10:07):
A battlefield?
Whoa!

SPEAKER_03 (01:10:11):
The room transforms into a battlefield of lights and
lasers.

SPEAKER_02 (01:10:14):
And techno music just starts booming.

SPEAKER_03 (01:10:18):
They are in a warehouse, Joe.
I'm going to keep saying that.

SPEAKER_02 (01:10:22):
Just like the Simpsons episode.
We work hard.
We play hard.

SPEAKER_03 (01:10:25):
Everybody dance now.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
Yeah, exactly.
I like that visual.
Willie uses a device resemblinga futuristic remote.
What?
Futuristic remote?
What?
can just have a regular remote.
It's fine.
We don't need to be weird.

(01:10:45):
Activating traps and illusionsaround the lab to thwart the
unknown's advances.
What advances?
What traps?
He's coming on to Willy,apparently.

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:00):
The unknown comes in, dodging a beam of light.
You think these parlor trickswill stop me?
I've come too far to be foilednow.

SPEAKER_03 (01:11:08):
He retaliates with his own device, shooting

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:11):
beams.
It's a remote showdown.

SPEAKER_03 (01:11:13):
It's a laser light showdown.

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:17):
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
Shit, my batteries are dead.

SPEAKER_03 (01:11:20):
shooting beams of lights towards Willie, who
skillfully evades them, usingthe lab's inventions as shields
and counter.
It literally is like a wizardfight.
That's literally what they're

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:33):
trying to do.
And it's not magic.
It's futuristic remotes.

SPEAKER_03 (01:11:36):
Yeah, futuristic

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:37):
remotes.
Now we're from magic andenchantment to sci-fi.
Yep.
Willie McDuff with a twinkle inhis eye.
It's not about stopping you withtricks, but with creativity.
Shut the fuck up.
I need the unknown just to goshut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_03 (01:11:53):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:54):
Pause for a second.
Shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
Or I'm gonna really walk overthere and kick your ass.
Yeah.
For every dark intention,there's a light of innovation
ready to shine through.

SPEAKER_03 (01:12:05):
Willy activates a machine that releases a dazzling
display of holographic images,momentarily disorienting the
unknown.

SPEAKER_02 (01:12:14):
What is going

SPEAKER_03 (01:12:15):
on?
Seizing the opportunity, Willysets the anti-graffiti
gobstopper into a contraptionthat amplifies its cleanup
capabilities.
Ha ha ha ha! sending a wave ofsparkling cleanliness towards
the unknown, neutralizing hisdevice and rendering him
harmless.

SPEAKER_02 (01:12:35):
No! My plans thwarted by tidiness?

UNKNOWN (01:12:41):
What?

SPEAKER_03 (01:12:44):
I don't know anymore.
What is going on?
They're speaking very, verydifferent language from me.
The guests cheer as the unknownis gently swept up.
A robotic vacuum humorouslyending the confrontation.
What?

(01:13:05):
I like how he's gently swept up.
My God.
What?
By a vacuum?
By a vacuum.

SPEAKER_02 (01:13:13):
What is going on?
It

SPEAKER_03 (01:13:15):
went off the rails.
I told you it was going to getweird.

SPEAKER_02 (01:13:17):
William McDuff addresses the audience.
And so, my friends, we see thateven in the face of darkness,
the light of imagination, joy,and a bit of clever cleaning can
prevail.
Let us remember, the greatestadventures and the most enduring
victories are those we achievetogether.
The more you know.

(01:13:39):
This is Willy's chocolateexperience.
Yep, there's no chocolate.
There is

SPEAKER_03 (01:13:44):
no chocolate

SPEAKER_02 (01:13:45):
in the chocolate experience.

SPEAKER_03 (01:13:47):
Exactly.
What?
The room lights up, returning toits vibrant state.
As Willy offers a bow...
the anti-graffiti gobstoppersafely in hand.
The guests erupt into applause,celebrating the triumph of
creativity and courage overchaos.

(01:14:08):
The scene ends with WillieMcDuff and the guests reveling
in the success of theirimaginative endeavor,
reinforcing the power of unityand the endless possibilities
that lie within the realms ofimagination and innovation.
The end.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:28):
Oh, I

SPEAKER_03 (01:14:28):
told you it was a wild ride.

SPEAKER_02 (01:14:33):
Oh, man.
OK.

SPEAKER_03 (01:14:34):
Yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:14:36):
What do we say?
I

SPEAKER_03 (01:14:37):
mean,

SPEAKER_02 (01:14:38):
what do we do?
Those poor actors.

SPEAKER_03 (01:14:42):
Yeah.
Yeah.
They

SPEAKER_02 (01:14:43):
had.
How did they even try to bringthis to life?

SPEAKER_03 (01:14:46):
They so literally like they got the script the
night before.

SPEAKER_02 (01:14:50):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:14:51):
Those poor actors, like, I feel so bad for them.
And also with the lack of props.
If we looked at that room.
Oh, and rehearsal.
Yeah, and rehearsal.
Like, you had no time toprepare.
And you had so, so little towork with.
And, oh, also, I forgot tomention, too, they didn't get
their outfits, their costumes,until the day of.

(01:15:15):
And they came from, like,Amazon.

UNKNOWN (01:15:16):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:15:16):
Of course they did.
Why would it be anything else?

SPEAKER_03 (01:15:19):
Right.
So like these poor actors whothought that they were going to
be doing this cool thing andusing their talents to perform
for kids get saddled with thisscript and a costume last
minute, no rehearsal time, andare told that basically the
whole place is going to bedecked out tomorrow.

(01:15:40):
And then they go home.
They come back.
Everything's the same asyesterday.
And then they're just given anAmazon costume and say, here you
go, have fun.
Bye.

SPEAKER_02 (01:15:52):
Oh, man.

SPEAKER_03 (01:15:52):
Yeah.
There was, like, no hope.
It's so sad.

SPEAKER_02 (01:15:56):
I'm trying to figure out what the takeaways of this
even was.
I mean, granted, yes, this isjust a scam.

SPEAKER_03 (01:16:02):
Yeah,

SPEAKER_02 (01:16:02):
it's a scam.
It was just a scam to scamfamilies out of money in a
decent Saturday afternoon.

SPEAKER_03 (01:16:08):
Yeah, and traumatize children.

SPEAKER_02 (01:16:10):
And traumatize children, apparently.
I would probably give it creditwhere credit's due.
I'm guessing Billy Cole'sintention...
wasn't to traumatize children.
I think chat GPT made somethingthat traumatized children.

SPEAKER_03 (01:16:22):
Well, but by proxy, Billy Cole did put all that
stuff into chat GPT and probablydidn't read it

SPEAKER_02 (01:16:33):
before.
You think the guy that had, whatwas it?
Carchy tons in hisadvertisements and sweet teats
didn't check that?
If his stuff was writtencorrectly,

SPEAKER_03 (01:16:45):
you'd think.
I know, shocker.

SPEAKER_02 (01:16:50):
So what was the takeaway from this?
Because Willie McDuff isinsufferable.
He has nothing to him other thanconstantly reminding the
audience that it's always aboutunity, finding dreams come true,
and light and darkness, and whatI was not expecting, clean your

(01:17:10):
room, bucko.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:17:12):
That's not really the message that the typical
Willy Wonka character imbues.

SPEAKER_02 (01:17:18):
I was not prepared for the whole fight over Mr.
Clean.
That one threw me, I'm going tobe honest.

SPEAKER_03 (01:17:26):
Yeah, that was not expected.
That was a plot twist, if ever Isaw one.
You're right.
So basically what ended uphappening to everyone, it was
not as advertised.
as we can plainly see.
It went belly up within thefirst tour.
The actors were verydiscouraged.

(01:17:47):
Everybody was very sad.
The police got called.

SPEAKER_02 (01:17:50):
Oh, man.

SPEAKER_03 (01:17:51):
Yeah, that was wild, too.
What ended up happening waspeople then started a fund for
these poor actors and stuffbecause they thought they were
getting a good gig for...
for the day or for the weekend.
And then all of a sudden, thatwasn't what it turned out to be.
So basically, there was afundraiser put together.

(01:18:12):
People auctioned off some of theset pieces.
Also, some of the set pieceswere created by AI and had typos
or looked really weird.
And so people, they auctionedthem off so people could have a
little bit of history.
Oh,

SPEAKER_02 (01:18:30):
I'd want it so

SPEAKER_03 (01:18:31):
bad.
I know.
I thought about that.
I was like, you guys auctionstuff off.
Oh, I wish I'd known.

SPEAKER_02 (01:18:35):
Oh, I want it so bad.
The

SPEAKER_03 (01:18:37):
big takeaway is...

SPEAKER_02 (01:18:40):
Cleanliness is next to godliness.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_03 (01:18:42):
apparently so.

SPEAKER_02 (01:18:43):
Quote Willie McDowell.

SPEAKER_03 (01:18:47):
So a lot of people took this to be like a
comparison with what like FyreFestival was back in 2017.
Sure,

SPEAKER_02 (01:18:54):
yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:18:55):
And like just basically wasn't as advertised.
And it's just really sad.

SPEAKER_02 (01:18:59):
Yeah, and I think what we're also going to be
diving more into as well is thisis, I think, a real...
thing that scares me when itcomes to AI is you have, and
this is why we're doing thepodcast as well, right?
Is that you have people who areliterally trying to scam other
people.
They are trying to make a quickbuck and they're just doing it
the laziest way possible.

SPEAKER_03 (01:19:21):
Yep.
It's hurting others in theprocess.
Like it's not a victimlesscrime.

SPEAKER_02 (01:19:26):
No.
And the guy is shameless toobecause I saw he had a 60
Minutes interview.

SPEAKER_03 (01:19:33):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:19:33):
Out in Australia or something.
Some other 60 Minutes, not theU.S.
one.
Yeah.
Did it for with him, I believe.
And he talked about, oh, thisruined my life.
My entire career was over.
My wife left me.

SPEAKER_03 (01:19:49):
It just it goes to show you that, again, these
people are just a bunch ofshysters that that don't care
who who they hurt.
And those poor people.
actors at the end of the day toothat's just really defeating
like to come to a set to be likesuper excited about a cool gig

(01:20:09):
to just end

SPEAKER_02 (01:20:11):
up being screwed over number two in the meth lab

SPEAKER_03 (01:20:13):
yeah yeah and you get screwed over by by a guy who
doesn't give a shit and that'sthat's the sad part about it

SPEAKER_00 (01:20:20):
yeah

SPEAKER_03 (01:20:21):
but Wait, Joe, that's not all.
Oh,

SPEAKER_00 (01:20:23):
boy.

SPEAKER_03 (01:20:24):
We're going to talk about Billy Cole next week, too,
because he hasn't stopped makingshit.

SPEAKER_02 (01:20:29):
Great.

SPEAKER_03 (01:20:30):
And it all involves AI.
Great.
So that's something to lookforward to in our next episode.

SPEAKER_02 (01:20:37):
That sounds good.
And wait, hang on.
I'm going to try to do this inmy most whimsical Willie McDuff
voice.
And we'll see you all in

SPEAKER_03 (01:20:44):
the next episode.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Thank you so much.

(01:21:29):
Wonky Doodle 2, handing out apeculiarly...
Oh, my God.
I can't...
Jesus.
Okay.
Wonky Doodle 2, handing out apeculiarly...
Peculiar?
Peculiar.

(01:21:51):
I can't...
Okay.
Oh, that's who we want to haveinstead of Castro gives you
candy.
McDuff

SPEAKER_02 (01:21:58):
gives you candy.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_03 (01:21:59):
McDuff gives you candy.

SPEAKER_02 (01:22:00):
They're not going to know that reference.

SPEAKER_03 (01:22:04):
Yeah, that's a deep cut for people that love-

SPEAKER_02 (01:22:08):
Really bad movies.
Really

SPEAKER_03 (01:22:10):
bad Christian movies.