Dylan The Lazarus

The One where talks about his rebirth.

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Episode Transcript

Unknown (00:03):
So I'll say I'm doing my best to let him out. I've
done a very good job at buryingDylan. It's it's the one that my
mother used to call Dylan thesole fine. Who, who didn't walk?

(00:23):
He glided. There was an airabout him that you could call it
arrogance that would beappropriate. I, I believed very
strongly, in myself verystrongly. And so here's the,

(00:47):
here's the rub. Why is thatimportant? Because I went
through this period, when I wasin college, where I had to, it
felt like I had to remake myselfbecause for the first time in my
life, I come up against somepersonalities that were about as
strong as mine. And I didn'tknow how to handle it. So I

(01:09):
started to get myself small. Ilost a lot. While I was in
college, I lost a lot of who,who I am or what made me me,
because I didn't know how tocommunicate very, very well
about what I was feeling. And sobecause I was both very

(01:31):
emotional and hyper arrogance, Ilost a lot of relationships.
Some things didn't necessarilygo my way. I it wasn't a great
time, so I decided I'll buryhim. And then I'll call it
faith. I will I'll bury who Godhas made me to be. Call it

(01:56):
faith. I will. I will crucify,but never resurrect. See, here's
the thing about the crucifixion.
It's supposed to happen. You aresupposed to die daily. But the
other part of that is supposedto be you rising as a better

(02:17):
version. You got to get up. ButI did a good job of burying him.
We're not talking about six feetdeep.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We'retalking about near the earth's
core. It's hot. I put them downpretty far because I lost so

(02:41):
much. I put him down so farforgot what he sounded like. And
that the very sound of his voicekind of freaks me out. scares me
a little bit. Like who saidthat? Where did that come from?
There's some thoughts that runacross my mind that that have me

(03:04):
question away. Wait a minute. Doyou still believe that about
yourself? I thought we put thatto bed. We have to be humble and
meek. Not we can't offend peoplearound us. What are you doing?
Don't upset them. I've buriedhim deep but I'm doing my best

(03:27):
to let them free. Because I'mI'm understanding now that it's
in letting him free that I getto go to the places that only He
can take me that when I'm in aroom or behind this microphone
that if I don't let them out.
I'm only being part of myself.

(03:50):
And who wants to just be part ofthemselves? Does that mean that
I have to live into thearrogance and be arrogant all
the time? No, no, no, no. But hewas the one that allowed me to
survive the things that Ishouldn't have survived. Gotta

(04:12):
let it out just a little bit.
Because there there are peoplewho think I am to be played with
because I haven't let them out.
You know when he comes out thatI remember that he's there.
There's there's a specific thingthat happens that I remember.

(04:35):
Oh, yeah, he's definitely there.
Say something crazy aboutSharmayne. I remember that he's
there. I used to say that I comea little one done. I'm I'm a
little off kilter. No, no.
You're meeting a person that Itried to bury. Will you say

(04:57):
something crazy to Sharmayne.
Will you say something crazyabout Sharmayne do that to me
person that I really care about.
See me lose myself a little bit.
I'm not actually losing myself.
The person you're meeting is theone that I tried to bury the

(05:20):
person you're meeting is the onethat scares me a little bit and
makes people around me veryuncomfortable. Not because I'm
unstable but because I'm verystable. Very clear headed. That
person is dangerous. That personchanges things. That is the

(05:43):
person that helps others getfree. Gotta free him because to
free him is to changeeverything. There's been so I
said and I just did. I'm out