April 19, 2023 • 16 mins
Assignment- noun- something or someone God put in your path that you are attracted to and equipped to help.
@soisaidmedia
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dylan Sellers (00:00):
So I said, don't sleep with your assignment. Um,
um, so after our last episode,Kat and her brilliance, our
producer, was like, I need someclarity on this assignment
thing. Right? And I'm like,cool. So yeah, like I can, I can
(00:20):
help with that, you know?
Because we get those thingsconfused. Yeah. Because the
attraction feels the same. My,my, my sister, and like, for
those of y'all who just happenedin this is my wife, not my
sister. So that were very, veryclear. You know, say you see me
touching her thigh, you'll saystuff like that. Because like, I
(00:40):
like touching her. You know whatI mean? Like, it's important for
people to know that, like, whatthe relationship is, you know,
we're gonna put a pin in thatcome back to it. All right,
cool. Cool. Cool. So my sisteronce told me that, like, love is
universal, the same kind of lovethat I have for you. I also have
for spouse, right? Love is athing, right? Like, there are
(01:07):
different representations of it,right? But it comes from the
same place, which is why it canbe confusing, right? And so
like, you can be very attractedto an assignment. And think that
it's supposed to be romantic.
Right? Okay. So the reason thatthat could be confusing, is
(01:29):
because you don't know what anassignment is. Yes. Right. An
assignment is a churchy word.
Yeah, it is. Assignment issomebody or something that
you're supposed to take care of?
Okay, that that has been put inyour path. Right? For my folk
who are who are not necessarilylike churches, they talk about
(01:50):
paths. I'm saying it's they bag.
So it was put,
Sharmayne Sellers (01:54):
so church people say season? Yeah, and
then other folks a path, samething, the same thing. Okay,
Sam, I
Dylan Sellers (02:01):
guess, you know, my season, my path. It's still
the same stuff. We're preachingbecause, you know, I'm preacher
anyway. Amen. So it's a personor thing that's put in your path
that God has seen fit thatyou're equipped to help with?
Right? It's a, it's a thing thatyou're discovering, we're a
(02:22):
relationship that you arediscovering, that will help you
and that individual grow intheir relationship with God.
Okay. Right. And so like, you'reattracted to it, because there's
an urgency to it. Okay. Right.
It's not something that is like,it's not something that's
fleeting. Right? And so the, theattraction becomes, like
(02:45):
necessary to guide you to it,because in any other situation,
you might miss it. Got it. Sothe example that I gave last
time about, like, beingattracted to this, this white
woman in particular, right? Ibelieve that, like, God had to
use attraction for that. Becausehad he had, he just left me to
(03:09):
my own devices, she's not aperson that I would have talked
to. She's not a person that Iwould have engaged with, or I
would have gone into any realdepth in conversation with.
Right. And so there had to besomething that would pull me to.
And I believe that that spirit,right? The reason that like I'm
(03:32):
equating this, you know, it'smore of a, I'm working out, like
theological concepts, right? Isbecause God describes God's self
as love. Yes. And so if God isattracting you, to an
individual, God is going to useGod's self to do it. And it'll
feel like love. Because you aresupposed to share love with that
(03:57):
person, you are supposed to beintimate with that person. But
if you're not engaged orunderstand or like, open to the
idea, that that intimacy can besomething other than sex, you'll
think that like, Oh, this is arelationship that I need to
have. Because God wants me tolike, this is my person, this
(04:20):
person. And it's confusing mewrong, right? Because the the
question that you should asknext is, well, then how do I
know the difference between anassignment and like a partner?
Sharmayne Sellers (04:37):
I'm glad you asked. Go ahead. Yeah. I got
you.
Dylan Sellers (04:42):
Right. I appreciate that. Right. And I
think that that comes with time,and discernment. Which is why
all of this is so dependent onyour relationship with God.
Because Spirit is going to helpyou Understand, right? What's an
(05:03):
assignment? And who is your one?
Okay. So a lot of people end upin relationships with people who
are their assignments, and thenthey get mad when those
relationships end. And typicallywhat happens is right, and you
see this all the time, you'll bein a relationship with a person.
And typically this happens withthe sometimes it happens with
(05:23):
the opposite sex, a woman willbe in a relationship with this
guy. They go through ups anddowns, trials and tribulations
because like they engaged in away that they probably shouldn't
have. Right? The relationshipends, and the very next person
he meets he marries.
Sharmayne Sellers (05:43):
I have seen that. Right? I'm definitely
saying that.
Dylan Sellers (05:47):
What if you were just supposed to be his friend
from Jump Street? What if therewas a reciprocity, some some
situations that were supposed tohappen, that you were supposed
to walk with Him through somedark things, he was supposed to
walk with you through somethoughts, things, they were
supposed to walk togetherthrough some stuff, because God
saw fit that like, yourtemperament, and your trauma
(06:09):
matched, he is matched hers,right? You can come you have
some things in common that won'tcome together, and that both of
you will need for that nextlevel. But if you think that
because like our traumas match,I'm attracted to you, and we're
gonna have sex now you'reengaged in a relationship that
(06:30):
makes the breakup or the partingof ways, not just a sad event,
but a devastating one. Not justa breakup, but a divorce?
Sharmayne Sellers (06:40):
Yeah, it's a trauma bond. Yeah, you're bonded
over trauma. But when you startdoing the work of healing, not
to have anything in commonanymore.
Dylan Sellers (06:49):
Exactly. Right.
And so like, now he he's healed,or you're healed, and the very
next person you're, you meet isthe one, right? And then you're
all confused, because this isthe other thing that happened.
Typically, those guys who go on
Sharmayne Sellers (07:08):
anything serious relationship,
Dylan Sellers (07:12):
they go on and marry the next woman, right?
He'd be trying to spin theblock. Right? So like, you're
not invited to the wedding.
Because you could have been ify'all had just remained friends.
But because you're always indeep relationship, you're not
invited to the wedding. And hisemotions is all confused,
because like, everything that heis now he attributes to you. But
(07:35):
y'all can't be together. So hemarried this other person. Now
he's trying to spend a blockcome back to you. And now he all
confused and you all confusedbecause he should have just left
you alone in the first place.
Your assignment?
Sharmayne Sellers (07:53):
Right, so if I'm, if I'm understanding
correctly, you, it can bedifficult to know the difference
between assignment and yoursignificant other initially,
right. But over time, you spendmore time with that person
without engaging in, you know,physical intimacy, you can
develop, you know, emotional,mental, verbal intimacy, like
(08:17):
spending time with the person tobuild emotional closeness
without sex, continuing to pray,hearing from God, and eventually
it should be revealed.
Dylan Sellers (08:28):
Yeah. Okay. And then it's not devastating. Yeah.
Then you had a relationship withyour brother, your sister in
Christ, you all got bettertogether and ready for the next
thing, and it's not devastating.
There are relationships that youyou could like that you could
lean on for the rest of yourlife that were platonic, but
(08:48):
necessary. Yeah. Right. Myrelationship with Leslie
Sharmayne Sellers (08:55):
Yeah, that was the first person I thought,
yeah.
Dylan Sellers (09:00):
Leslie is necessary for who I am going
forward. Right? Yourrelationship with Taurus. Yep.
You know what I'm saying, like,there, there's a relationship in
a, an understanding that like hehas about you, that I don't get,
right. And that should be okay.
But if every time somebodyunderstands you, you sleep with
(09:23):
them. Now, I can't trust that.
Now, I can't trust that youcan't, that you can have a
conversation with someone else.
You know, saying like, you canreveal parts of yourself to that
person. If, if I'm like, ifevery time that happens, and you
feel closeness you feelvalidated.
Sharmayne Sellers (09:43):
So So I'm wondering if this is the reason
why, you know, men and women areso hesitant to have friendships
or when people say like, oh, youcan't have you can't actually
have a genuine friend andsomebody who's the opposite sex.
No All together that it ispossible for that to happen. But
(10:06):
it doesn't have to have thatdoesn't have to be the case,
Dylan Sellers (10:09):
right? It is, it is possible for y'all to be
friends. It is possible to beable to like, benefit from those
relationships. And you know,people say like, Well, the Bible
says, like, doesn't have anyexample of friendships between
men and women. Not true. Whatwas Jesus and Mary? If they
(10:31):
weren't friends, to Shay, not asmother, but like Mary Magdalene?
If they weren't friends, whatwere they? Right? What was Mary?
What was Jesus and Martha? Whatwas Paul and Lydia? Oh, if they
weren't friends, you see themsaying? So, all of these things,
(10:52):
those things are examples ofwhat it could look like. And
like, Jesus was real big on hisfemale friends. Like, let's be
real, He reveals Himself to Hisfemale friends before he does
his male friends. When when heis resurrected, the people that
he he reveals himself to isMary, Martha. Like, Hey, these
(11:18):
are these are mine, like,because he was talking to all of
his disciples when he says thatyou, you are no longer my
servants. But I call you friend.
Sharmayne Sellers (11:25):
And I just couldn't even wrap their mind
around. Yeah.
Dylan Sellers (11:29):
And so was was Mary and Martha and not one of
Jesus's disciples. Do you do notcount them?
Sharmayne Sellers (11:36):
Oh, absolutely. I do. So like,
Dylan Sellers (11:39):
it's possible.
And dare I say necessary for usto be a whole community
to have good, solid, necessaryfriendships.
And that's where you find those.
Right? Like you find those inthose platonic, you know what
I'm saying like interactions,you find those in your
assignment. For sure, itprepares you for the marriage
(12:02):
that you're gonna get into. Ifthat's if that's what God has
for you, it prepares you inbusiness. If you're going to
start a business, you're gonnaneed some friends. And all of
them can't be the same sex. Imean, they can be like why do
they have to be you know. So Ihope that was clear. I know I
(12:23):
ranted on a little bit there. Ilet you get in a word edgewise.
For real? Cool,
Sharmayne Sellers (12:32):
you felt very strongly about this one?
Dylan Sellers (12:35):
I do. I feel very strongly about it. Because I've
experienced it. I feel verystrongly about it. Because I've
screwed it up.
Sharmayne Sellers (12:43):
I do. I do feel strongly about it. I don't
know if it's to the degree thatthat you do, but I've definitely
been on the other side of it.
And, and that did not feelgreat. Tell me about it. Um So
fun fact, you know, we talkedabout having having friendships,
and the guy had me convincedthat God said that this is we're
(13:10):
supposed to be together, and allof that. And then shortly
thereafter. Then there was like,well, there's I don't think this
this is our season. There's thatword again. It's gonna be our
season. But at this point,you've been to my house we've
been all day she went my mom. Solike, Huh? So what is maybe you
(13:31):
should have been a little bitmore clear on that. Yeah, with
the Lord, before you revealfalse prophecy. I think that
like what you're describing islike, using God as your shield
to do some Oh, like, sinfulstuff, because I do I do believe
(13:54):
that is spiritual manipulation,if you will, that part. I do
believe that it was anassignment to the degree that we
are supposed to love one anotheras as we love ourselves and as
God loves us. And so there wasthere was some mismanaging
mishandled handling of setassignment.
Dylan Sellers (14:15):
Yeah, no, that's real. I think I know where you
talk, who you talking about toremember that time? I like aint
him.
Sharmayne Sellers (14:24):
I know. We're aware.
Dylan Sellers (14:27):
Yeah. And I ain't gonna go into detail right
because it it can get realrevealed, right? But I like him
and I probably still don't likehim.
Sharmayne Sellers (14:35):
He might forget
Dylan Sellers (14:38):
the love of Christ. But he shouldn't get me
stay over over work yet. And youremember me? Because like,
breath but like spiritualmanipulation is a thing. You
know, you start using God'sname, especially in those spaces
and like you're taking advantageof those situations. Right,
(15:01):
because you have some spiritualauthority or the authority that
people in those spaces of givingyou one I got I got things about
that. But, alas, we have reachedthe end of yet another one. Love
it. You just keep on coming backthen all right because I like it
I ain't gonna lie to you itmakes me feel all cozy smile is
(15:26):
everything. I love it. Okay. Allright. This is so I said, and we
just did. I ain't got nothingelse. I was lost in the smile.
Yep. I mean it's fine and we out
So I said, don't sleep with your assignment. Um,
um, so after our last episode,Kat and her brilliance, our
producer, was like, I need someclarity on this assignment
thing. Right? And I'm like,cool. So yeah, like I can, I can
(00:20):
help with that, you know?
Because we get those thingsconfused. Yeah. Because the
attraction feels the same. My,my, my sister, and like, for
those of y'all who just happenedin this is my wife, not my
sister. So that were very, veryclear. You know, say you see me
touching her thigh, you'll saystuff like that. Because like, I
(00:40):
like touching her. You know whatI mean? Like, it's important for
people to know that, like, whatthe relationship is, you know,
we're gonna put a pin in thatcome back to it. All right,
cool. Cool. Cool. So my sisteronce told me that, like, love is
universal, the same kind of lovethat I have for you. I also have
for spouse, right? Love is athing, right? Like, there are
(01:07):
different representations of it,right? But it comes from the
same place, which is why it canbe confusing, right? And so
like, you can be very attractedto an assignment. And think that
it's supposed to be romantic.
Right? Okay. So the reason thatthat could be confusing, is
(01:29):
because you don't know what anassignment is. Yes. Right. An
assignment is a churchy word.
Yeah, it is. Assignment issomebody or something that
you're supposed to take care of?
Okay, that that has been put inyour path. Right? For my folk
who are who are not necessarilylike churches, they talk about
(01:50):
paths. I'm saying it's they bag.
So it was put,
Sharmayne Sellers (01:54):
so church people say season? Yeah, and
then other folks a path, samething, the same thing. Okay,
Sam, I
Dylan Sellers (02:01):
guess, you know, my season, my path. It's still
the same stuff. We're preachingbecause, you know, I'm preacher
anyway. Amen. So it's a personor thing that's put in your path
that God has seen fit thatyou're equipped to help with?
Right? It's a, it's a thing thatyou're discovering, we're a
(02:22):
relationship that you arediscovering, that will help you
and that individual grow intheir relationship with God.
Okay. Right. And so like, you'reattracted to it, because there's
an urgency to it. Okay. Right.
It's not something that is like,it's not something that's
fleeting. Right? And so the, theattraction becomes, like
(02:45):
necessary to guide you to it,because in any other situation,
you might miss it. Got it. Sothe example that I gave last
time about, like, beingattracted to this, this white
woman in particular, right? Ibelieve that, like, God had to
use attraction for that. Becausehad he had, he just left me to
(03:09):
my own devices, she's not aperson that I would have talked
to. She's not a person that Iwould have engaged with, or I
would have gone into any realdepth in conversation with.
Right. And so there had to besomething that would pull me to.
And I believe that that spirit,right? The reason that like I'm
(03:32):
equating this, you know, it'smore of a, I'm working out, like
theological concepts, right? Isbecause God describes God's self
as love. Yes. And so if God isattracting you, to an
individual, God is going to useGod's self to do it. And it'll
feel like love. Because you aresupposed to share love with that
(03:57):
person, you are supposed to beintimate with that person. But
if you're not engaged orunderstand or like, open to the
idea, that that intimacy can besomething other than sex, you'll
think that like, Oh, this is arelationship that I need to
have. Because God wants me tolike, this is my person, this
(04:20):
person. And it's confusing mewrong, right? Because the the
question that you should asknext is, well, then how do I
know the difference between anassignment and like a partner?
Sharmayne Sellers (04:37):
I'm glad you asked. Go ahead. Yeah. I got
you.
Dylan Sellers (04:42):
Right. I appreciate that. Right. And I
think that that comes with time,and discernment. Which is why
all of this is so dependent onyour relationship with God.
Because Spirit is going to helpyou Understand, right? What's an
(05:03):
assignment? And who is your one?
Okay. So a lot of people end upin relationships with people who
are their assignments, and thenthey get mad when those
relationships end. And typicallywhat happens is right, and you
see this all the time, you'll bein a relationship with a person.
And typically this happens withthe sometimes it happens with
(05:23):
the opposite sex, a woman willbe in a relationship with this
guy. They go through ups anddowns, trials and tribulations
because like they engaged in away that they probably shouldn't
have. Right? The relationshipends, and the very next person
he meets he marries.
Sharmayne Sellers (05:43):
I have seen that. Right? I'm definitely
saying that.
Dylan Sellers (05:47):
What if you were just supposed to be his friend
from Jump Street? What if therewas a reciprocity, some some
situations that were supposed tohappen, that you were supposed
to walk with Him through somedark things, he was supposed to
walk with you through somethoughts, things, they were
supposed to walk togetherthrough some stuff, because God
saw fit that like, yourtemperament, and your trauma
(06:09):
matched, he is matched hers,right? You can come you have
some things in common that won'tcome together, and that both of
you will need for that nextlevel. But if you think that
because like our traumas match,I'm attracted to you, and we're
gonna have sex now you'reengaged in a relationship that
(06:30):
makes the breakup or the partingof ways, not just a sad event,
but a devastating one. Not justa breakup, but a divorce?
Sharmayne Sellers (06:40):
Yeah, it's a trauma bond. Yeah, you're bonded
over trauma. But when you startdoing the work of healing, not
to have anything in commonanymore.
Dylan Sellers (06:49):
Exactly. Right.
And so like, now he he's healed,or you're healed, and the very
next person you're, you meet isthe one, right? And then you're
all confused, because this isthe other thing that happened.
Typically, those guys who go on
Sharmayne Sellers (07:08):
anything serious relationship,
Dylan Sellers (07:12):
they go on and marry the next woman, right?
He'd be trying to spin theblock. Right? So like, you're
not invited to the wedding.
Because you could have been ify'all had just remained friends.
But because you're always indeep relationship, you're not
invited to the wedding. And hisemotions is all confused,
because like, everything that heis now he attributes to you. But
(07:35):
y'all can't be together. So hemarried this other person. Now
he's trying to spend a blockcome back to you. And now he all
confused and you all confusedbecause he should have just left
you alone in the first place.
Your assignment?
Sharmayne Sellers (07:53):
Right, so if I'm, if I'm understanding
correctly, you, it can bedifficult to know the difference
between assignment and yoursignificant other initially,
right. But over time, you spendmore time with that person
without engaging in, you know,physical intimacy, you can
develop, you know, emotional,mental, verbal intimacy, like
(08:17):
spending time with the person tobuild emotional closeness
without sex, continuing to pray,hearing from God, and eventually
it should be revealed.
Dylan Sellers (08:28):
Yeah. Okay. And then it's not devastating. Yeah.
Then you had a relationship withyour brother, your sister in
Christ, you all got bettertogether and ready for the next
thing, and it's not devastating.
There are relationships that youyou could like that you could
lean on for the rest of yourlife that were platonic, but
(08:48):
necessary. Yeah. Right. Myrelationship with Leslie
Sharmayne Sellers (08:55):
Yeah, that was the first person I thought,
yeah.
Dylan Sellers (09:00):
Leslie is necessary for who I am going
forward. Right? Yourrelationship with Taurus. Yep.
You know what I'm saying, like,there, there's a relationship in
a, an understanding that like hehas about you, that I don't get,
right. And that should be okay.
But if every time somebodyunderstands you, you sleep with
(09:23):
them. Now, I can't trust that.
Now, I can't trust that youcan't, that you can have a
conversation with someone else.
You know, saying like, you canreveal parts of yourself to that
person. If, if I'm like, ifevery time that happens, and you
feel closeness you feelvalidated.
Sharmayne Sellers (09:43):
So So I'm wondering if this is the reason
why, you know, men and women areso hesitant to have friendships
or when people say like, oh, youcan't have you can't actually
have a genuine friend andsomebody who's the opposite sex.
No All together that it ispossible for that to happen. But
(10:06):
it doesn't have to have thatdoesn't have to be the case,
Dylan Sellers (10:09):
right? It is, it is possible for y'all to be
friends. It is possible to beable to like, benefit from those
relationships. And you know,people say like, Well, the Bible
says, like, doesn't have anyexample of friendships between
men and women. Not true. Whatwas Jesus and Mary? If they
(10:31):
weren't friends, to Shay, not asmother, but like Mary Magdalene?
If they weren't friends, whatwere they? Right? What was Mary?
What was Jesus and Martha? Whatwas Paul and Lydia? Oh, if they
weren't friends, you see themsaying? So, all of these things,
(10:52):
those things are examples ofwhat it could look like. And
like, Jesus was real big on hisfemale friends. Like, let's be
real, He reveals Himself to Hisfemale friends before he does
his male friends. When when heis resurrected, the people that
he he reveals himself to isMary, Martha. Like, Hey, these
(11:18):
are these are mine, like,because he was talking to all of
his disciples when he says thatyou, you are no longer my
servants. But I call you friend.
Sharmayne Sellers (11:25):
And I just couldn't even wrap their mind
around. Yeah.
Dylan Sellers (11:29):
And so was was Mary and Martha and not one of
Jesus's disciples. Do you do notcount them?
Sharmayne Sellers (11:36):
Oh, absolutely. I do. So like,
Dylan Sellers (11:39):
it's possible.
And dare I say necessary for usto be a whole community
to have good, solid, necessaryfriendships.
And that's where you find those.
Right? Like you find those inthose platonic, you know what
I'm saying like interactions,you find those in your
assignment. For sure, itprepares you for the marriage
(12:02):
that you're gonna get into. Ifthat's if that's what God has
for you, it prepares you inbusiness. If you're going to
start a business, you're gonnaneed some friends. And all of
them can't be the same sex. Imean, they can be like why do
they have to be you know. So Ihope that was clear. I know I
(12:23):
ranted on a little bit there. Ilet you get in a word edgewise.
For real? Cool,
Sharmayne Sellers (12:32):
you felt very strongly about this one?
Dylan Sellers (12:35):
I do. I feel very strongly about it. Because I've
experienced it. I feel verystrongly about it. Because I've
screwed it up.
Sharmayne Sellers (12:43):
I do. I do feel strongly about it. I don't
know if it's to the degree thatthat you do, but I've definitely
been on the other side of it.
And, and that did not feelgreat. Tell me about it. Um So
fun fact, you know, we talkedabout having having friendships,
and the guy had me convincedthat God said that this is we're
(13:10):
supposed to be together, and allof that. And then shortly
thereafter. Then there was like,well, there's I don't think this
this is our season. There's thatword again. It's gonna be our
season. But at this point,you've been to my house we've
been all day she went my mom. Solike, Huh? So what is maybe you
(13:31):
should have been a little bitmore clear on that. Yeah, with
the Lord, before you revealfalse prophecy. I think that
like what you're describing islike, using God as your shield
to do some Oh, like, sinfulstuff, because I do I do believe
(13:54):
that is spiritual manipulation,if you will, that part. I do
believe that it was anassignment to the degree that we
are supposed to love one anotheras as we love ourselves and as
God loves us. And so there wasthere was some mismanaging
mishandled handling of setassignment.
Dylan Sellers (14:15):
Yeah, no, that's real. I think I know where you
talk, who you talking about toremember that time? I like aint
him.
Sharmayne Sellers (14:24):
I know. We're aware.
Dylan Sellers (14:27):
Yeah. And I ain't gonna go into detail right
because it it can get realrevealed, right? But I like him
and I probably still don't likehim.
Sharmayne Sellers (14:35):
He might forget
Dylan Sellers (14:38):
the love of Christ. But he shouldn't get me
stay over over work yet. And youremember me? Because like,
breath but like spiritualmanipulation is a thing. You
know, you start using God'sname, especially in those spaces
and like you're taking advantageof those situations. Right,
(15:01):
because you have some spiritualauthority or the authority that
people in those spaces of givingyou one I got I got things about
that. But, alas, we have reachedthe end of yet another one. Love
it. You just keep on coming backthen all right because I like it
I ain't gonna lie to you itmakes me feel all cozy smile is
(15:26):
everything. I love it. Okay. Allright. This is so I said, and we
just did. I ain't got nothingelse. I was lost in the smile.
Yep. I mean it's fine and we out
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