August 18, 2025 • 33 mins
This intimate conversation offers a rare glimpse into how adoptees and their families navigate the complex emotions that arise when biological relatives are found. We explore the tension between excitement and caution, the fear of rejection from both sides, and the healing that happens when communication remains open.
• The deep need adoptees have to understand their biological origins beyond their loving adoptive homes
• How medical appointments can become unexpectedly painful moments for adoptees lacking family health history
• The "tunnel vision" adoptees sometimes experience in their excitement to connect with birth relatives
• Fears adoptive family members may have about being replaced or forgotten
• How children of adoptees process meeting biological relatives at their own pace
• The importance of allowing organic relationships to develop without pushing
• Finding balance between honoring adoptive family bonds while exploring biological connections
• The concept that "two things can be true at the same time" in adoption relationships
Join us on Instagram and Facebook at @soImAdopted and subscribe to our YouTube channel "So I'm Adopted" to continue this important conversation.
Music by Curtis Rodgers IG @itsjustcurtis
Produce and Edited by Lisa Sapp
Executive Producer Lisa Sapp
Executive Producer Johnnie Underwood
Tell us your story or leave a comment by following us on
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Email soimadopted@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Welcome to the so I'm Adopted podcast, where we talk
everything adoption.
This journey is not one we takealone.
Together we grapple with rawemotions that surface from
adoption stories.
We want you to be comfortableenough to heal, so sit back and
go with us on this journey as wedive deep into adoption.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Hey, family, check this out.
So we want to give you a sneakpeek, a conversation that we had
with amongst our family, justabout the backside and the not
so often spoke aboutconversations dealing with
adoptees and just some thingsthat we dealt with.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
We had an opportunity just to have some real life
conversations.
And somebody pulled out a phone.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
So here's an opportunity just to take a look
at it, so check it out.
So Dion expressed.
He felt almost like, well, we,your family, what are you
looking for?
And what I had to share withhim was, although it wasn't a
void of love, it wasn't a voidof, oh, I need this, I need that
(01:25):
.
When he went to his house hecould look at Uncle Phillip and
Auntie Faye and know I came fromthem.
When Cheryl went home, auntieSharon, uncle Willie, and it was
no question.
So for me well, for them it wasnature, but for me it was
nurture.
I didn't have the nature andnurture to go.
(01:45):
So there was that unknown rightwhen it really bothered me
because I knew I was adopted,that was a conversation we were
having in our house.
They weren't having thoseconversations, so for them it
was just oh, that's cousin john,that's my cousin, that's my big
cousin, my cousin.
That just was what it was.
So for me I always had the yeah, that's my family.
(02:07):
But where do I come from?
Like, do I have any siblings?
Do I have any?
And it's not.
Two things can be true at thesame time.
Yeah, right, it wasn't a.
Janice became with J-Lo that itreally like I felt less thing
Because I couldn't answer thequestions of family history.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Janice was able to check all the bosses and give
yeah, we got this, we got that.
And I'm sitting there like, forlack of better words, boo-boo
the fool.
Like you know what it was.
It was the question of sicklecell anemia, that one question.
They were like you know, do youhave the trait, are you a
carrier or something?
And we were like we don't knowI have traits.
And that's all I could reallysay.
(02:51):
She was like well, what's yourdad's system?
And you know the nurse, she wasjust doing her job.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
But not having the awareness that everybody doesn't
have the traditional dynamic.
So it just was.
It hurt me and Janice saw thehurt on my face and I didn't
turn around and actually move itand that's why, when Jayla was
born, I started looking.
Remember, I started looking,then Yep, and then your mom shut
us down, right, and that's thedifference between it, because
(03:21):
everybody else is used to it.
Our adoptive family is used tothe situation.
For me and John, we may be usedto it, but once it really
becomes a thing, it's not a usedto, because once we found out,
found our gossip family, y'alllives still went on like normal,
(03:42):
right, but our lives didn't.
Everything changed.
Our thought process changed.
I can speak for me, my thoughtprocess changed, but, like my
aunt, go oh well, lisa, are yougoing to do the family reunion?
What?
No, I just found out I wasadopted.
What do you mean?
I'm going to do the familyreunion.
You know what I'm saying?
That's the thought process,because they've been living with
it for 40 years.
(04:03):
I just figured it out almostwhen I turned 40.
So it was a change for us, notto say we don't love our family
any less, because you've beenthere from day one and that was
the thing Dion said.
He was like you mind, that washis comment.
(04:23):
I was like I know he was likeare you going to gravitate
towards them and walk away fromus?
It's the unknown.
Yeah, and like I told him, Isaid I had to learn how to be
sober and be protected.
There was a season where Iwasn't sober, where I was just
like overly excited and I had totake into dynamics, take it to
(04:45):
reality of how it impacted thegirls and janice, and again I I
didn't look at it like that, I'mlooking at it like I'm getting
my answers.
There's tunnel vision, yeah,but for them there's a dynamic
of well, now is thisrelationship that I forged with
my was disrespectful to my gameand at their age, young as they
(05:10):
were, that's a reality, that'sthe truth that they have to
navigate.
So now you know, I've had toreally sober up and step back
and say I'm gonna let y'all dowhat works for you and not push
it, because there was a seasonwhere I'd better push it and
that's, you know, my fault.
That was my truth and myexcitement to find my answers
(05:33):
and my you know lineas.
But looking back on it now, thatwas the wrong way to hell.
I wouldn't say it was the wrongway to handle it.
It's because, again, they'renot in our shoes, right, and for
me it was all so new.
I mean, I was on the phone withmy mom 24-7.
I was like just guardingeverybody else's house, right,
(05:56):
because it was so.
You know, you're like wantingto absorb as much as you can.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Trying to make up for lost time.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Trying to make up for lost time.
Trying to make up for lost time, so I wouldn't say it was the
wrong or some On some type oflevel.
You don't.
I don't want to apologize forit because of at least a
magnitude of what was going on,but I do apologize for me kind
of disconnecting with the restof the family.
Well, I think what John issaying is that and it wasn't
(06:25):
just, it's not the so distantpast what he had to come to
terms was he's in his processand we're giving him space to
have that process, we lettinghim do the 24-7.
He's texting Myra all day,every day, like I just bought a
new pair of shoes.
I just want to tell you aboutit.
We become like those littlekids again.
(06:45):
But the thing is, if we evenhim that space, well, what he
did is he pushed Myra on thegirls and wanted that excitement
and was upset that they weren'texcited the way he was excited
and so they were going throughtheir process and it would turn
into John getting very upset,disappointed, mad, like why
(07:06):
don't you want this, why don'tyou want to?
Right, but they had to do it attheir own pace.
Yeah, yeah, just like we wantedto get John his own pace, you
have to give us our own pacebecause they're, you know, young
.
Remember when Maya and Jaz andTC were younger, they had to
figure it out and process it,which, by the way, children,
(07:28):
there'll be a new podcast withjust the children.
We don't bring you all togetherNow that me and Titus already
had our podcast moment.
But, like Jordyn, this wasn'tlike the last, this wasn't the
Not Too Distant has.
We were just at fam, you, yeah,and john was like, well, what
do you mean?
What do you mean?
(07:50):
Are you?
You sure you know we're viral?
You know what do you mean?
And it wasn't that jordandidn't want myra at the
graduation, she did, but it waslike you didn't even ask me.
Like myra and m are coming, Ineed to prepare myself, give me
a chance to prepare myself.
And so I think her response.
I'm not laughing at this, I'mlaughing at when I found my mom.
(08:16):
I don't think I consulted withJasmine whether my mom was
coming to her graduation or not.
Right, this is your firstgrandchild to graduate, kyler,
oh, you're coming.
And I mean she was like, uh,but she came, didn't know it was
from Adam, but she came and shecame and she stayed at our
house and we went to thegraduation, right, and I don't
(08:40):
think I consulted you?
You didn't so good.
How did you feel, jen?
I didn't think I consulted you.
You didn't so good.
How did you feel, jasmine?
I didn't feel anything.
That's not the person to ask,though.
Jasmine is going to be excitedabout stuff.
I'm with that.
Me, I'm really like yeah.
I had problems because I'm afamily person in the Warren area
and I knew this was a big deal.
Then I also realized that,looking, I learned it from her.
(09:05):
I thought about how my grandmalike her being able to
experience that, be like oh, mygoodness, I'm witnessing my
first grandchild.
I mean I'm not her oldestgrandchild, but I'm the first
one of hers to walk across thestage to get my bachelor's
degree and then went on and gotmy master's and then, you know,
just continued to do great,great things.
(09:26):
But that's something new forher that she wasn't used to from
her previous grade kids, notsaying that they weren't
successful, because they are.
Everyone's doing very well, butagain, everybody has different
paths.
So the fact that you knoweverybody wants their kids to go
to college and get degrees andyou know better their life, so
the fact that, oh, I got a clangshot, that's about the who am I
(09:47):
to try to take that experienceor have any lip to that to say
no, I don't want her to comelike why would I not?
But you have to understand herpath also to where, as we learn
later on how she was almost likethe dark sheep in her family
because they always talked likeyou know they're not doing
(10:09):
anything.
It was just a dark sheepsituation, you know, with Lisa.
Yeah they always put everybodyin front of her and they kind of
talked like she put them in.
So you know.
Getting back to how Lisa saidshe separated herself from
everyone, you know when mom.
You know back to how Lisa saidshe separated herself from
everyone, you know when mom.
You know she got her mother.
I think what made thatsituation so different was that
(10:32):
everyone else yeah everyone elseexcept for you, you know.
So that was a different type ofembrace, because they knew that
you were doubted, but no onesaid anything until you know.
(10:54):
Grandma, right, I have aquestion.
So how old were you when youfound out?
Don't let her answer Almost 40.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
30 says it.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Zomai, how did you feel when your grandmother came
to jazz some graduation?
Well, I mean for her, that wascool for her and it was a
different situation.
In the beginning I feel like Iwas probably more excited about
it because we didn't know for solong and stuff Not to your
point.
But then I think for me laterdown the line, I'm like all
(11:26):
right, all this family and stuff, all these people, it wasn't a
lot, it was just like all right.
You know, like I didn't.
I felt, especially back then, Iwasn't as social and she wasn't
.
I wasn't as open to like newpeople and stuff and I wasn't
around because at that time Iwas in college and I was
cheering, so I missed a lot ofstuff but I felt like it was
(11:48):
overwhelming at some point.
The excitement of me and her andher being around for stuff like
that was cool, but then when itcame to just other stuff later,
it was just overwhelming.
So the newness wore off.
Yeah, it did for me, but Ithink that and this is the part
where, like she, just we getinto this zone because it's like
for so long I haven't known andnow that I have it and like we
(12:14):
can't even describe that, thatfeeling of I get to find out
these answers.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I just want to glean every little bit that I can.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
And our mindset is well, if I have this, why aren't
you as excited for me to walkwith me?
And that's why I say thatthat's our vision, and sometimes
it's wrong for us to think thateverybody else should have that
as well, although on one handwe're entitled to it, but we
can't expect everybody elseshould have that as well.
Yeah, although on one hand,we're entitled to it, but we
(12:47):
can't expect everybody else tohave the same thing that we have
.
So I have a question.
So Yvette, deonna shared hisplace, his, his mindset, cause,
yvette and Deonna and myself,and then Shell, we all grew up
together.
It was the four of us.
So, yvette, how did you?
And then Shell, we all grew uptogether.
(13:08):
It was the four of us.
So, yvette, how did you feelwhen I said, hey, I found my
first family, my biologicalfamily.
What was your independentthought process on that?
Well, I was happy for youbecause I knew you had questions
about your mom and what youcared for.
But the opposite part of thatwas what were you going to do
(13:29):
now with us that you found yournew family?
Like, were you going todistance yourself from us,
separate yourself from us?
And I was like, just like mybrother, you belong with us.
And so I understand that thisis your birth mother, but we're
your family you know what I'msaying Like you're our cousins.
(13:50):
We were I've been from an earlyage that you were adopted, but
we weren't raised like that.
You know what I'm saying?
We were raised not just likecousins, but almost like
brothers and sisters.
Who was always together?
So it's like okay, so I'm gonnajust see if you will try to
switch them on us, because Iwill see a lot of that gonna ask
(14:11):
, but in a day we will haveconversation.
But this is not too.
I said just in the childthought that I was going to like
turn on y'all, but I was goingto be wishy washy and you know
what is true?
Because, like my cousin, monicasaid the same thing.
She's like who's this woman?
What's going on?
(14:32):
No it's not for that that weturn him.
For me it's more a kind of aprotection.
But good milk I so eat, underby the bylaws, for family.
I use your body.
I lost my family.
All right, you're a cyber body,I'm saying, but in the process
of relying, somebody didn't grabby myself.
Okay, we're trying to make surehe don't go in the earth because
(14:55):
of his excitement.
I'm saying he's just going fullforce ahead and I'm saying
that's okay.
What if he goes out there andhe finds out something he really
don't want to find out?
Names hopper hands down,absolutely.
And I will tell you this onethat was sitting over here, that
was her like from the door shesaid john, listen, I know you're
(15:16):
excited, but she began the whatifs.
What if they don't embrace you?
What if you know they look atyou differently?
We don't know.
We don't know them, they don'tknow us.
What if their intent is to hurt?
You know?
What if they think your intentis to hurt you know?
So all of that, I think, andI'm thinking that that was the
(15:37):
common denominator with all ofyou.
You know, again, there weretimes where I had the non-sovere
moments, but I'm at a place nowwhere I'm learning to let it
happen organically.
I will be lying if I said thatthere isn't an excitement, like
(15:57):
I said, when we walked into theKia Center and everybody being
in there for Jordan fromVirginia, especially because we
haven't had that here.
So to have my family here, thatalone was priceless.
And then, after that, I'm likeI did.
(16:19):
I went to a place you know Iwish Gambia was here, wish Gamby
was here, I wish Virginia washere.
And then it was.
Two things can be true at onetime At the same time.
They're not here, they're herein spirit.
But I'm also thankful that mybiological mom was here.
So it's not like I'm replacing,but it's a plus that I'm able
(16:42):
to have, because it's not ashe's trying to replace who
Gamma was.
Go ahead, fira.
Talk of me using a plus.
When I graduated, I never got aconsult coming.
It was.
You were excited and talked toher every day, so I expected her
(17:05):
to come.
I was like Jarrif I'm like I'mnot going to tell you she can't
come and she shot up.
She gave me an amazing gift.
She was really sweet andwelcoming, but we were all like
this is either going to be themost beautiful story ever, or
the worst nightmare, or theworst, or the worst nightmare,
(17:25):
or the worst.
You know what I mean.
You just never know what couldcome from it.
In that beginning time, I know,but we was oblivious to that
Because we were finally gettingto know a blood relative outside
of our kids and the mother.
Not because mom, it was ourmother, so it carried us for
(17:47):
nine months.
So it was.
And the other piece.
You know what you all have.
I remember her thought Iremember she says about.
I remember saying like, maybeit's vision for me should be I
don't want to graduate highschool and get married, like I
remember it saying that and Iwas like, well, I got one of
those things off and it was.
I remember the conversationwent oh my gosh, they're not
(18:08):
here to see this.
You know, your granddad wasn'tthere to see it.
He was there to see it.
But the conversation was well,maya will be there to see it.
And I was like, well, that'snot the same.
She's a bonus.
I'm happy she's there.
I might be to have a grandmotherthere, but it's not because,
(18:28):
because you didn't have thatlineage where she saw you from
kindergarten.
Yeah, if you just had to havethat conversation, it's
different and, to be blunt, Ithink feeling, but I think you
have a space now, I.
But I think you have a specialpersonality.
I do, I do, I get it, I canrelate to that, j-lo.
But the other piece was andagain, this is my, I don't want
(18:50):
to say immaturity, butimmaturity in the journey, nudia
said, the journey where mymindset was well, you have your
mom.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Why would you not want me to have that?
It's not that we don't want youto have that.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm just telling you that, inthe newness of the journey, that
was some of the thoughts thatwere swirling around of how I
was framing my thought process.
I expected her to be with usmore.
I think it was just the threats, was more, not even my fast,
(19:26):
just the Well, you're not herboss, you wanted it to slide in
perfectly.
It's like no, he stopped.
You get to know, but check thisout, although you say fast,
it's been eight years Because itwas 2018.
I'm just up seven years.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You say fast, fast, as in whenshe actually comes.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Yeah, we'll have it, since you physically met her.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Yeah, we didn't meet her until Gosh.
I'm not saying it's fast, I'msaying it's not a replacement.
We still got to get to know her.
Right, it's not likeintegrating into the family.
I understand what you're saying.
Yeah, by integrating into thefamily, I understand what you're
saying.
I get it Like you know it couldbe seamless.
Hey, I know you're watching thevideo right now.
(20:09):
I know you're enjoying theconversation that we're having
with our family, but I justwanted to jump on real quick and
say, hey, if you like whatyou're listening to, please hit
the like button, hit the sharebutton, share it with your
friends, your family members andsubscribe.
Please subscribe Any comments.
Please let us know how you'reenjoying it If you want to come
on the show or whatever.
(20:29):
We are here to listen to alldifferent types of relationships
.
So back to the conversation.
So, jo, if I got a question foryou, how did you find out, or
what was the discussion or whatwas your reaction when you found
out?
I was a doctor, because I knowthe relationship you and Aunt
Carol, as you call her, had,because I mean, you didn't
(20:50):
always know.
How did you find out?
Speaker 3 (20:52):
And then, how did I find out?
We were out there.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I think it was maybe a conversation after it was all
over.
We had gotten married and I waslike what do you mean?
That John's not our girl?
John is adopted, what, andthat's how it was.
I didn't know, but it wasn't nodeep discussion.
But the question for me is wedid Alma and it's not funny, but
(21:22):
DI takes, and you know thisRook I don't know what it is,
but I thank God for it the bondthat this family has.
I married him to it and when Isaid my hosting taste is so
serious, so my prayer nail is.
Please, lord, whatever maliceand tensions are, please let
(21:43):
them be pure and good, and Idon't want to be where this lady
is doing her best andeverything's working and she
sneezes wrong.
That's the way these are.
What's your?
Speaker 3 (21:56):
side.
Who should you be?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
well, calm deal.
It's gonna be that, you know,along the journey and he's at
that like don't you know,because he's been like this
since he was young, that's hisbig cut.
This is a little cut on his big, but he takes it so serious and
it really really had been anadjustment for him, even coming
here, the look of.
(22:19):
I told him that I was saying Isaid a lot of times God just be
saying, oh, it's a bad plan, butI always watch.
And so I told him that I wassaying he was like even with her
husband being at the hotel andthat dynamic he said you know,
(22:40):
we communicated, it was good.
So all of that to me is justthe, the, the organic reality
taking place a lot larger and Ithink we all realize there's so
many different dynamics thatoccurred and it was just a reset
(23:03):
and it's.
Jordan was under the impression, like I know if we get, we were
, the kids were much had stoppedgoing to CCA Calgary Christian
CCA, ccca I'm going to see youCalvary Christian Academy, cca.
Why we used to say CC?
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Because it Well, because the church is probably.
Ccc Go to these Hebrews.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, yes, that's the name of the church, but yeah,
yes, and much has stopped goingthere.
And who's older, you or NG?
Jasmine there and who who'solder, you and jasmine, so you
had graduated.
And I remember jordan was likeI didn't want to come to my
graduation as a little child,like it was a beat to do.
(23:48):
You know, I remember mygraduation party, the um y'all
doing the jerk.
Oh, there was um.
You thought y'all had.
This was my high schoolgraduation party and y'all were
talking about um.
Who doing y'all that was ascholarship.
Yes, oh, you made it Ascholarship come.
So y'all was talking aboutdoing a scholarship.
And then Uncle John was like so, because I had the youngest
(24:12):
kids in the event that we areall not in rank at that time and
I was fresh to the crew too.
You were like two years in.
He was fresh.
My paperwork wasn't even dry,they were not dry.
You were still in aprobationary period At that
point.
It's like to see that.
(24:34):
And I was in 09, because Igraduated high school in 09 to
now 2025, that's like 16 yearslater.
That's crazy.
We're going to get thescholarship.
So what's even crazier?
Pace, so what's even crazier.
And I was explaining to them howyou all knew Janice before me.
You all adopted him into thecrew, correct?
(24:57):
Janice before me.
You all adopted him into thecrew, correct?
And I shared with them upstairs, when we were talking just
about non-traditionals anddifferent things, that in her
previous marriage that wasnormalcy for y'all.
So when I came in, it was, oh,he's a new guy.
What was normalcy?
Come on, just her being withyou all and her husband.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, husband, thatwas the norm.
(25:18):
No, no, no, hear me out, I'mjust saying that those were the
pieces of the puzzle, but that'show we knew on Janice.
That's how we knew on Janice.
That's what I'm saying.
But he was a part of the crew,he was a part of us, correct?
He was a part of you all theywere both a part of us so we
really adopted Uncle John.
(25:39):
Right, the sack kids adoptedUncle John, for sure, the sack
bag.
Yeah, the sack bag.
I ain't heard that one in along time.
I haven't heard that in aminute.
I think we started clicking thealphabet.
Did you all do that?
Which one was that?
Did you all?
Which one was that?
We all did that one.
(26:00):
Uncle Wayne did it too.
Uncle Wayne did that one too.
That's when everything kind ofjust solidified, did something
different, because it was me,you Wayne and them.
Yeah, and that was all crew andI was really like, oh you're for
(26:20):
you not to merge into that.
But in all fairness, dietrichwas never part of that.
Yeah, he wasn't a part of that.
He was just, he was rollingwith them, it was just a part of
this.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
That's that, because Janice and him spent a lot of
time with us when we were kids.
So the simple fact that theywere able to, like you know,
transition and embraceseamlessly, might I, I guess, on
our end.
So for me, again, not knowingall details, yeah, for me it was
(26:54):
okay, that's the crew.
So I was at a place where, okay, I don't know where I fit, but
I know my affiliate to her, so Idon't know if they're going to
embrace me or not.
So I had to again walk verycautiously and just say this is
who I.
You know, it was a struggle,like even when we made a
(27:18):
decision, I was like yo, I don'tknow, we're all up in this
church, I don't know if he goingto be there.
Like, that was my mindset.
I have protector mentality.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
And even to a point when I'm teaching and this is
later on, after we go to I'mteaching Bible study and he
comes in and he I'm going toteach a vacation Bible school he
sits in class.
So now I got to put on myassignment to teach this class
(27:49):
recognize he's in the room, bemindful of how it impacts her In
addition to how it impacts them.
So so many different dynamicsthat aren't spoken about, that I
have to put in this backpackand carry, that aren't spoken
about, that I have to put inthis backpack and carry.
So, when we talk about thelayers of trauma and hiding
impact on multiple levels itruns deep.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Yeah, yeah, but you being who you are.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
It was a missing puzzle.
We had no clue that we neededit.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
We didn't know that we needed.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
You know that.
We know we needed it until wegot you yeah, we locked it for
real.
So joy, how are you feelingabout this discussion?
I feel good.
I think you know you'resomething like oh, once we kept
in podcast, don't come that bunkass.
And this is it, I think thisain't it don't try to get out of
(28:40):
it.
It's politically correct shetrying to get out of it I think
everything is I think me, theyoungest, really like it's a
hard role to hold on to, likeyou're just the puppet following
everyone, trying to thinkeveryone likes you.
You don't fit in.
You're not in high school yet.
Oh, george doesn't know.
(29:02):
Like all the perhaps withpeople and I think that just
everyone be down here I slippedby, like I did my job, you did.
It's like that's all of it howwe're here.
You, you always say how youfeel like you've missed out on
so many things because we'vejust we've literally lived the
whole life before you were born.
(29:23):
I feel like we have proven toyou that you have not missed
much, and whatever you've missedwe've told you about.
But what's crazy is is that wemust get sick After I met y'all.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Yeah, that's right, because of Darren and Ryan
Darren and I were a whole bunchof race, that's right.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
When our carly got sick they were at the hospital,
him and Darren they were righthere in the hospital and I think
that's when I met y'all and Ithink we've been connecting ever
since, you know, because it'slike, hey, you know, we all
family.
But it's just funny how thedynamics of life works.
I can go back to the momentwhen I think it clicked for
(30:14):
Jaina and Jouel, it clicked fory'all in Virginia Beach.
Yep, that's when they got backin.
That's when they got back in.
That's when y'all got back.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
TC was like chill out bro, that's when Jaina we was
just talking, just talking abouteverything.
I couldn't even remember what wetalked about, but I remember
that was.
We were just we were justtalking, just talking about
everything.
I couldn't even I don't evenremember what we were talking
about, but I remember I had,after we finished talking and I
was talking to Mucha and stufflike that, I was like yeah, I
just I was talking to Jayla forlike three hours.
(30:50):
It was like about what I waslike we were just talking.
I said Jayla's, really, it wasreally cool.
Of course you did that.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
It was, I think.
What was it?
I know at least for me.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
I know for a fact because when y'all were younger.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
We were with y'all all the time.
Then I went to college.
I came back and they was likegirl, we don't know who you are.
Well, then they moved.
So then you guys didn't seethem as much as you used to,
because then we left.
Who left?
Oh, they left, well, they left,I went to school, then they
left.
So then when we do, I mean I'llpop in and pop out here and
(31:24):
there and stuff like that.
And then I moved to DC andstuff.
So I was distant, even thoughit didn't feel like I was
distant because I'd still bearound.
But Jayla and Joey thinkingabout it in their mindset they
were young, they were little.
So me like that's no retention,you know, that's not going to
stick in their brain, even if Iwas with them for so long up
(31:46):
until, like a certain age pointso then I think, when we had the
house and then we did thepictures and stuff, when they
saw the picture a little picturewhen you were, and they were
like, wait, that's a yeah littlepicture.
When you were a student andthey were like, wait, that's a
yeah, y'all, you've been on theride, y'all been here this whole
time.
Jayla and Joey I, yeah, I usedto be with y'all for real, like
(32:06):
we.
Even Y'all was on the image, soscared Like how these photos
gonna be.
Y'all are immature.
Y, y'all are in majority, y'allare in majority.
I'm saying anything.
We were coming to Florida.
I do that for sure.
We talk about I've been talkingabout Florida Since we
announced it.
Yeah, I'm like, look, I saidy'all, I'm putting my schedule
(32:31):
back here to week To be my go-totime.
Y'all know I need 80 hours forthese next two trips.
I'm going to have my 80 hours.
I don't burn a lot of time, butI'm like I'm going to work
extra, the way that operates ifI work 60 hours one week and it
just goes towards my 80.
(32:51):
But man, I was.
You made your mark for real,joey.
Vote for y'all, jalen and Joey,y'all really had From.
I was.
You made your mark for realJoey.
Vote for y'all.
Jalen and Joey, y'all reallyhad.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
Oh, this is Florida.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
From, I might say, the two oldest.
I'm not the two oldest, butfrom you still Two of the three
oldest to the two youngest.
Y'all did exactly what y'allsupposed to do here, when the
mayor don't remember anythingelse, hey family real quick.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
If you are liking what you're watching, please hit
that subscribe, hit that share,hit that like button so that
others can benefit from whatyou're seeing.
Please join us on so I'mAdopted podcast, Thank you.
Thank you for listening to theso I'm Adopted podcast.
We hope that this wasinformative and educational.
You can follow us on Instagramand Facebook at so I'm Adopted.
Also, subscribe to our YouTubechannel so I'm Adopted.
(33:44):
And again, thank you forlistening and until next time,
make the choice to begin yourhealing journey.
Welcome to the so I'm Adopted podcast, where we talk
everything adoption.
This journey is not one we takealone.
Together we grapple with rawemotions that surface from
adoption stories.
We want you to be comfortableenough to heal, so sit back and
go with us on this journey as wedive deep into adoption.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Hey, family, check this out.
So we want to give you a sneakpeek, a conversation that we had
with amongst our family, justabout the backside and the not
so often spoke aboutconversations dealing with
adoptees and just some thingsthat we dealt with.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
We had an opportunity just to have some real life
conversations.
And somebody pulled out a phone.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
So here's an opportunity just to take a look
at it, so check it out.
So Dion expressed.
He felt almost like, well, we,your family, what are you
looking for?
And what I had to share withhim was, although it wasn't a
void of love, it wasn't a voidof, oh, I need this, I need that
(01:25):
.
When he went to his house hecould look at Uncle Phillip and
Auntie Faye and know I came fromthem.
When Cheryl went home, auntieSharon, uncle Willie, and it was
no question.
So for me well, for them it wasnature, but for me it was
nurture.
I didn't have the nature andnurture to go.
(01:45):
So there was that unknown rightwhen it really bothered me
because I knew I was adopted,that was a conversation we were
having in our house.
They weren't having thoseconversations, so for them it
was just oh, that's cousin john,that's my cousin, that's my big
cousin, my cousin.
That just was what it was.
So for me I always had the yeah, that's my family.
(02:07):
But where do I come from?
Like, do I have any siblings?
Do I have any?
And it's not.
Two things can be true at thesame time.
Yeah, right, it wasn't a.
Janice became with J-Lo that itreally like I felt less thing
Because I couldn't answer thequestions of family history.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Janice was able to check all the bosses and give
yeah, we got this, we got that.
And I'm sitting there like, forlack of better words, boo-boo
the fool.
Like you know what it was.
It was the question of sicklecell anemia, that one question.
They were like you know, do youhave the trait, are you a
carrier or something?
And we were like we don't knowI have traits.
And that's all I could reallysay.
(02:51):
She was like well, what's yourdad's system?
And you know the nurse, she wasjust doing her job.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
But not having the awareness that everybody doesn't
have the traditional dynamic.
So it just was.
It hurt me and Janice saw thehurt on my face and I didn't
turn around and actually move itand that's why, when Jayla was
born, I started looking.
Remember, I started looking,then Yep, and then your mom shut
us down, right, and that's thedifference between it, because
(03:21):
everybody else is used to it.
Our adoptive family is used tothe situation.
For me and John, we may be usedto it, but once it really
becomes a thing, it's not a usedto, because once we found out,
found our gossip family, y'alllives still went on like normal,
(03:42):
right, but our lives didn't.
Everything changed.
Our thought process changed.
I can speak for me, my thoughtprocess changed, but, like my
aunt, go oh well, lisa, are yougoing to do the family reunion?
What?
No, I just found out I wasadopted.
What do you mean?
I'm going to do the familyreunion.
You know what I'm saying?
That's the thought process,because they've been living with
it for 40 years.
(04:03):
I just figured it out almostwhen I turned 40.
So it was a change for us, notto say we don't love our family
any less, because you've beenthere from day one and that was
the thing Dion said.
He was like you mind, that washis comment.
(04:23):
I was like I know he was likeare you going to gravitate
towards them and walk away fromus?
It's the unknown.
Yeah, and like I told him, Isaid I had to learn how to be
sober and be protected.
There was a season where Iwasn't sober, where I was just
like overly excited and I had totake into dynamics, take it to
(04:45):
reality of how it impacted thegirls and janice, and again I I
didn't look at it like that, I'mlooking at it like I'm getting
my answers.
There's tunnel vision, yeah,but for them there's a dynamic
of well, now is thisrelationship that I forged with
my was disrespectful to my gameand at their age, young as they
(05:10):
were, that's a reality, that'sthe truth that they have to
navigate.
So now you know, I've had toreally sober up and step back
and say I'm gonna let y'all dowhat works for you and not push
it, because there was a seasonwhere I'd better push it and
that's, you know, my fault.
That was my truth and myexcitement to find my answers
(05:33):
and my you know lineas.
But looking back on it now, thatwas the wrong way to hell.
I wouldn't say it was the wrongway to handle it.
It's because, again, they'renot in our shoes, right, and for
me it was all so new.
I mean, I was on the phone withmy mom 24-7.
I was like just guardingeverybody else's house, right,
(05:56):
because it was so.
You know, you're like wantingto absorb as much as you can.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Trying to make up for lost time.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Trying to make up for lost time.
Trying to make up for lost time, so I wouldn't say it was the
wrong or some On some type oflevel.
You don't.
I don't want to apologize forit because of at least a
magnitude of what was going on,but I do apologize for me kind
of disconnecting with the restof the family.
Well, I think what John issaying is that and it wasn't
(06:25):
just, it's not the so distantpast what he had to come to
terms was he's in his processand we're giving him space to
have that process, we lettinghim do the 24-7.
He's texting Myra all day,every day, like I just bought a
new pair of shoes.
I just want to tell you aboutit.
We become like those littlekids again.
(06:45):
But the thing is, if we evenhim that space, well, what he
did is he pushed Myra on thegirls and wanted that excitement
and was upset that they weren'texcited the way he was excited
and so they were going throughtheir process and it would turn
into John getting very upset,disappointed, mad, like why
(07:06):
don't you want this, why don'tyou want to?
Right, but they had to do it attheir own pace.
Yeah, yeah, just like we wantedto get John his own pace, you
have to give us our own pacebecause they're, you know, young
.
Remember when Maya and Jaz andTC were younger, they had to
figure it out and process it,which, by the way, children,
(07:28):
there'll be a new podcast withjust the children.
We don't bring you all togetherNow that me and Titus already
had our podcast moment.
But, like Jordyn, this wasn'tlike the last, this wasn't the
Not Too Distant has.
We were just at fam, you, yeah,and john was like, well, what
do you mean?
What do you mean?
(07:50):
Are you?
You sure you know we're viral?
You know what do you mean?
And it wasn't that jordandidn't want myra at the
graduation, she did, but it waslike you didn't even ask me.
Like myra and m are coming, Ineed to prepare myself, give me
a chance to prepare myself.
And so I think her response.
I'm not laughing at this, I'mlaughing at when I found my mom.
(08:16):
I don't think I consulted withJasmine whether my mom was
coming to her graduation or not.
Right, this is your firstgrandchild to graduate, kyler,
oh, you're coming.
And I mean she was like, uh,but she came, didn't know it was
from Adam, but she came and shecame and she stayed at our
house and we went to thegraduation, right, and I don't
(08:40):
think I consulted you?
You didn't so good.
How did you feel, jen?
I didn't think I consulted you.
You didn't so good.
How did you feel, jasmine?
I didn't feel anything.
That's not the person to ask,though.
Jasmine is going to be excitedabout stuff.
I'm with that.
Me, I'm really like yeah.
I had problems because I'm afamily person in the Warren area
and I knew this was a big deal.
Then I also realized that,looking, I learned it from her.
(09:05):
I thought about how my grandmalike her being able to
experience that, be like oh, mygoodness, I'm witnessing my
first grandchild.
I mean I'm not her oldestgrandchild, but I'm the first
one of hers to walk across thestage to get my bachelor's
degree and then went on and gotmy master's and then, you know,
just continued to do great,great things.
(09:26):
But that's something new forher that she wasn't used to from
her previous grade kids, notsaying that they weren't
successful, because they are.
Everyone's doing very well, butagain, everybody has different
paths.
So the fact that you knoweverybody wants their kids to go
to college and get degrees andyou know better their life, so
the fact that, oh, I got a clangshot, that's about the who am I
(09:47):
to try to take that experienceor have any lip to that to say
no, I don't want her to comelike why would I not?
But you have to understand herpath also to where, as we learn
later on how she was almost likethe dark sheep in her family
because they always talked likeyou know they're not doing
(10:09):
anything.
It was just a dark sheepsituation, you know, with Lisa.
Yeah they always put everybodyin front of her and they kind of
talked like she put them in.
So you know.
Getting back to how Lisa saidshe separated herself from
everyone, you know when mom.
You know back to how Lisa saidshe separated herself from
everyone, you know when mom.
You know she got her mother.
I think what made thatsituation so different was that
(10:32):
everyone else yeah everyone elseexcept for you, you know.
So that was a different type ofembrace, because they knew that
you were doubted, but no onesaid anything until you know.
(10:54):
Grandma, right, I have aquestion.
So how old were you when youfound out?
Don't let her answer Almost 40.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
30 says it.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Zomai, how did you feel when your grandmother came
to jazz some graduation?
Well, I mean for her, that wascool for her and it was a
different situation.
In the beginning I feel like Iwas probably more excited about
it because we didn't know for solong and stuff Not to your
point.
But then I think for me laterdown the line, I'm like all
(11:26):
right, all this family and stuff, all these people, it wasn't a
lot, it was just like all right.
You know, like I didn't.
I felt, especially back then, Iwasn't as social and she wasn't
.
I wasn't as open to like newpeople and stuff and I wasn't
around because at that time Iwas in college and I was
cheering, so I missed a lot ofstuff but I felt like it was
(11:48):
overwhelming at some point.
The excitement of me and her andher being around for stuff like
that was cool, but then when itcame to just other stuff later,
it was just overwhelming.
So the newness wore off.
Yeah, it did for me, but Ithink that and this is the part
where, like she, just we getinto this zone because it's like
for so long I haven't known andnow that I have it and like we
(12:14):
can't even describe that, thatfeeling of I get to find out
these answers.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I just want to glean every little bit that I can.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
And our mindset is well, if I have this, why aren't
you as excited for me to walkwith me?
And that's why I say thatthat's our vision, and sometimes
it's wrong for us to think thateverybody else should have that
as well, although on one handwe're entitled to it, but we
can't expect everybody elseshould have that as well.
Yeah, although on one hand,we're entitled to it, but we
(12:47):
can't expect everybody else tohave the same thing that we have
.
So I have a question.
So Yvette, deonna shared hisplace, his, his mindset, cause,
yvette and Deonna and myself,and then Shell, we all grew up
together.
It was the four of us.
So, yvette, how did you?
And then Shell, we all grew uptogether.
(13:08):
It was the four of us.
So, yvette, how did you feelwhen I said, hey, I found my
first family, my biologicalfamily.
What was your independentthought process on that?
Well, I was happy for youbecause I knew you had questions
about your mom and what youcared for.
But the opposite part of thatwas what were you going to do
(13:29):
now with us that you found yournew family?
Like, were you going todistance yourself from us,
separate yourself from us?
And I was like, just like mybrother, you belong with us.
And so I understand that thisis your birth mother, but we're
your family you know what I'msaying Like you're our cousins.
(13:50):
We were I've been from an earlyage that you were adopted, but
we weren't raised like that.
You know what I'm saying?
We were raised not just likecousins, but almost like
brothers and sisters.
Who was always together?
So it's like okay, so I'm gonnajust see if you will try to
switch them on us, because Iwill see a lot of that gonna ask
(14:11):
, but in a day we will haveconversation.
But this is not too.
I said just in the childthought that I was going to like
turn on y'all, but I was goingto be wishy washy and you know
what is true?
Because, like my cousin, monicasaid the same thing.
She's like who's this woman?
What's going on?
(14:32):
No it's not for that that weturn him.
For me it's more a kind of aprotection.
But good milk I so eat, underby the bylaws, for family.
I use your body.
I lost my family.
All right, you're a cyber body,I'm saying, but in the process
of relying, somebody didn't grabby myself.
Okay, we're trying to make surehe don't go in the earth because
(14:55):
of his excitement.
I'm saying he's just going fullforce ahead and I'm saying
that's okay.
What if he goes out there andhe finds out something he really
don't want to find out?
Names hopper hands down,absolutely.
And I will tell you this onethat was sitting over here, that
was her like from the door shesaid john, listen, I know you're
(15:16):
excited, but she began the whatifs.
What if they don't embrace you?
What if you know they look atyou differently?
We don't know.
We don't know them, they don'tknow us.
What if their intent is to hurt?
You know?
What if they think your intentis to hurt you know?
So all of that, I think, andI'm thinking that that was the
(15:37):
common denominator with all ofyou.
You know, again, there weretimes where I had the non-sovere
moments, but I'm at a place nowwhere I'm learning to let it
happen organically.
I will be lying if I said thatthere isn't an excitement, like
(15:57):
I said, when we walked into theKia Center and everybody being
in there for Jordan fromVirginia, especially because we
haven't had that here.
So to have my family here, thatalone was priceless.
And then, after that, I'm likeI did.
(16:19):
I went to a place you know Iwish Gambia was here, wish Gamby
was here, I wish Virginia washere.
And then it was.
Two things can be true at onetime At the same time.
They're not here, they're herein spirit.
But I'm also thankful that mybiological mom was here.
So it's not like I'm replacing,but it's a plus that I'm able
(16:42):
to have, because it's not ashe's trying to replace who
Gamma was.
Go ahead, fira.
Talk of me using a plus.
When I graduated, I never got aconsult coming.
It was.
You were excited and talked toher every day, so I expected her
(17:05):
to come.
I was like Jarrif I'm like I'mnot going to tell you she can't
come and she shot up.
She gave me an amazing gift.
She was really sweet andwelcoming, but we were all like
this is either going to be themost beautiful story ever, or
the worst nightmare, or theworst, or the worst nightmare,
(17:25):
or the worst.
You know what I mean.
You just never know what couldcome from it.
In that beginning time, I know,but we was oblivious to that
Because we were finally gettingto know a blood relative outside
of our kids and the mother.
Not because mom, it was ourmother, so it carried us for
(17:47):
nine months.
So it was.
And the other piece.
You know what you all have.
I remember her thought Iremember she says about.
I remember saying like, maybeit's vision for me should be I
don't want to graduate highschool and get married, like I
remember it saying that and Iwas like, well, I got one of
those things off and it was.
I remember the conversationwent oh my gosh, they're not
(18:08):
here to see this.
You know, your granddad wasn'tthere to see it.
He was there to see it.
But the conversation was well,maya will be there to see it.
And I was like, well, that'snot the same.
She's a bonus.
I'm happy she's there.
I might be to have a grandmotherthere, but it's not because,
(18:28):
because you didn't have thatlineage where she saw you from
kindergarten.
Yeah, if you just had to havethat conversation, it's
different and, to be blunt, Ithink feeling, but I think you
have a space now, I.
But I think you have a specialpersonality.
I do, I do, I get it, I canrelate to that, j-lo.
But the other piece was andagain, this is my, I don't want
(18:50):
to say immaturity, butimmaturity in the journey, nudia
said, the journey where mymindset was well, you have your
mom.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Why would you not want me to have that?
It's not that we don't want youto have that.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm just telling you that, inthe newness of the journey, that
was some of the thoughts thatwere swirling around of how I
was framing my thought process.
I expected her to be with usmore.
I think it was just the threats, was more, not even my fast,
(19:26):
just the Well, you're not herboss, you wanted it to slide in
perfectly.
It's like no, he stopped.
You get to know, but check thisout, although you say fast,
it's been eight years Because itwas 2018.
I'm just up seven years.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You say fast, fast, as in whenshe actually comes.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Yeah, we'll have it, since you physically met her.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Yeah, we didn't meet her until Gosh.
I'm not saying it's fast, I'msaying it's not a replacement.
We still got to get to know her.
Right, it's not likeintegrating into the family.
I understand what you're saying.
Yeah, by integrating into thefamily, I understand what you're
saying.
I get it Like you know it couldbe seamless.
Hey, I know you're watching thevideo right now.
(20:09):
I know you're enjoying theconversation that we're having
with our family, but I justwanted to jump on real quick and
say, hey, if you like whatyou're listening to, please hit
the like button, hit the sharebutton, share it with your
friends, your family members andsubscribe.
Please subscribe Any comments.
Please let us know how you'reenjoying it If you want to come
on the show or whatever.
(20:29):
We are here to listen to alldifferent types of relationships
.
So back to the conversation.
So, jo, if I got a question foryou, how did you find out, or
what was the discussion or whatwas your reaction when you found
out?
I was a doctor, because I knowthe relationship you and Aunt
Carol, as you call her, had,because I mean, you didn't
(20:50):
always know.
How did you find out?
Speaker 3 (20:52):
And then, how did I find out?
We were out there.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I think it was maybe a conversation after it was all
over.
We had gotten married and I waslike what do you mean?
That John's not our girl?
John is adopted, what, andthat's how it was.
I didn't know, but it wasn't nodeep discussion.
But the question for me is wedid Alma and it's not funny, but
(21:22):
DI takes, and you know thisRook I don't know what it is,
but I thank God for it the bondthat this family has.
I married him to it and when Isaid my hosting taste is so
serious, so my prayer nail is.
Please, lord, whatever maliceand tensions are, please let
(21:43):
them be pure and good, and Idon't want to be where this lady
is doing her best andeverything's working and she
sneezes wrong.
That's the way these are.
What's your?
Speaker 3 (21:56):
side.
Who should you be?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
well, calm deal.
It's gonna be that, you know,along the journey and he's at
that like don't you know,because he's been like this
since he was young, that's hisbig cut.
This is a little cut on his big, but he takes it so serious and
it really really had been anadjustment for him, even coming
here, the look of.
(22:19):
I told him that I was saying Isaid a lot of times God just be
saying, oh, it's a bad plan, butI always watch.
And so I told him that I wassaying he was like even with her
husband being at the hotel andthat dynamic he said you know,
(22:40):
we communicated, it was good.
So all of that to me is justthe, the, the organic reality
taking place a lot larger and Ithink we all realize there's so
many different dynamics thatoccurred and it was just a reset
(23:03):
and it's.
Jordan was under the impression, like I know if we get, we were
, the kids were much had stoppedgoing to CCA Calgary Christian
CCA, ccca I'm going to see youCalvary Christian Academy, cca.
Why we used to say CC?
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Because it Well, because the church is probably.
Ccc Go to these Hebrews.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, yes, that's the name of the church, but yeah,
yes, and much has stopped goingthere.
And who's older, you or NG?
Jasmine there and who who'solder, you and jasmine, so you
had graduated.
And I remember jordan was likeI didn't want to come to my
graduation as a little child,like it was a beat to do.
(23:48):
You know, I remember mygraduation party, the um y'all
doing the jerk.
Oh, there was um.
You thought y'all had.
This was my high schoolgraduation party and y'all were
talking about um.
Who doing y'all that was ascholarship.
Yes, oh, you made it Ascholarship come.
So y'all was talking aboutdoing a scholarship.
And then Uncle John was like so, because I had the youngest
(24:12):
kids in the event that we areall not in rank at that time and
I was fresh to the crew too.
You were like two years in.
He was fresh.
My paperwork wasn't even dry,they were not dry.
You were still in aprobationary period At that
point.
It's like to see that.
(24:34):
And I was in 09, because Igraduated high school in 09 to
now 2025, that's like 16 yearslater.
That's crazy.
We're going to get thescholarship.
So what's even crazier?
Pace, so what's even crazier.
And I was explaining to them howyou all knew Janice before me.
You all adopted him into thecrew, correct?
(24:57):
Janice before me.
You all adopted him into thecrew, correct?
And I shared with them upstairs, when we were talking just
about non-traditionals anddifferent things, that in her
previous marriage that wasnormalcy for y'all.
So when I came in, it was, oh,he's a new guy.
What was normalcy?
Come on, just her being withyou all and her husband.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, husband, thatwas the norm.
(25:18):
No, no, no, hear me out, I'mjust saying that those were the
pieces of the puzzle, but that'show we knew on Janice.
That's how we knew on Janice.
That's what I'm saying.
But he was a part of the crew,he was a part of us, correct?
He was a part of you all theywere both a part of us so we
really adopted Uncle John.
(25:39):
Right, the sack kids adoptedUncle John, for sure, the sack
bag.
Yeah, the sack bag.
I ain't heard that one in along time.
I haven't heard that in aminute.
I think we started clicking thealphabet.
Did you all do that?
Which one was that?
Did you all?
Which one was that?
We all did that one.
(26:00):
Uncle Wayne did it too.
Uncle Wayne did that one too.
That's when everything kind ofjust solidified, did something
different, because it was me,you Wayne and them.
Yeah, and that was all crew andI was really like, oh you're for
(26:20):
you not to merge into that.
But in all fairness, dietrichwas never part of that.
Yeah, he wasn't a part of that.
He was just, he was rollingwith them, it was just a part of
this.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
That's that, because Janice and him spent a lot of
time with us when we were kids.
So the simple fact that theywere able to, like you know,
transition and embraceseamlessly, might I, I guess, on
our end.
So for me, again, not knowingall details, yeah, for me it was
(26:54):
okay, that's the crew.
So I was at a place where, okay, I don't know where I fit, but
I know my affiliate to her, so Idon't know if they're going to
embrace me or not.
So I had to again walk verycautiously and just say this is
who I.
You know, it was a struggle,like even when we made a
(27:18):
decision, I was like yo, I don'tknow, we're all up in this
church, I don't know if he goingto be there.
Like, that was my mindset.
I have protector mentality.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
And even to a point when I'm teaching and this is
later on, after we go to I'mteaching Bible study and he
comes in and he I'm going toteach a vacation Bible school he
sits in class.
So now I got to put on myassignment to teach this class
(27:49):
recognize he's in the room, bemindful of how it impacts her In
addition to how it impacts them.
So so many different dynamicsthat aren't spoken about, that I
have to put in this backpackand carry, that aren't spoken
about, that I have to put inthis backpack and carry.
So, when we talk about thelayers of trauma and hiding
impact on multiple levels itruns deep.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Yeah, yeah, but you being who you are.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
It was a missing puzzle.
We had no clue that we neededit.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
We didn't know that we needed.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
You know that.
We know we needed it until wegot you yeah, we locked it for
real.
So joy, how are you feelingabout this discussion?
I feel good.
I think you know you'resomething like oh, once we kept
in podcast, don't come that bunkass.
And this is it, I think thisain't it don't try to get out of
(28:40):
it.
It's politically correct shetrying to get out of it I think
everything is I think me, theyoungest, really like it's a
hard role to hold on to, likeyou're just the puppet following
everyone, trying to thinkeveryone likes you.
You don't fit in.
You're not in high school yet.
Oh, george doesn't know.
(29:02):
Like all the perhaps withpeople and I think that just
everyone be down here I slippedby, like I did my job, you did.
It's like that's all of it howwe're here.
You, you always say how youfeel like you've missed out on
so many things because we'vejust we've literally lived the
whole life before you were born.
(29:23):
I feel like we have proven toyou that you have not missed
much, and whatever you've missedwe've told you about.
But what's crazy is is that wemust get sick After I met y'all.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Yeah, that's right, because of Darren and Ryan
Darren and I were a whole bunchof race, that's right.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
When our carly got sick they were at the hospital,
him and Darren they were righthere in the hospital and I think
that's when I met y'all and Ithink we've been connecting ever
since, you know, because it'slike, hey, you know, we all
family.
But it's just funny how thedynamics of life works.
I can go back to the momentwhen I think it clicked for
(30:14):
Jaina and Jouel, it clicked fory'all in Virginia Beach.
Yep, that's when they got backin.
That's when they got back in.
That's when y'all got back.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
TC was like chill out bro, that's when Jaina we was
just talking, just talking abouteverything.
I couldn't even remember what wetalked about, but I remember
that was.
We were just we were justtalking, just talking about
everything.
I couldn't even I don't evenremember what we were talking
about, but I remember I had,after we finished talking and I
was talking to Mucha and stufflike that, I was like yeah, I
just I was talking to Jayla forlike three hours.
(30:50):
It was like about what I waslike we were just talking.
I said Jayla's, really, it wasreally cool.
Of course you did that.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
It was, I think.
What was it?
I know at least for me.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
I know for a fact because when y'all were younger.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
We were with y'all all the time.
Then I went to college.
I came back and they was likegirl, we don't know who you are.
Well, then they moved.
So then you guys didn't seethem as much as you used to,
because then we left.
Who left?
Oh, they left, well, they left,I went to school, then they
left.
So then when we do, I mean I'llpop in and pop out here and
(31:24):
there and stuff like that.
And then I moved to DC andstuff.
So I was distant, even thoughit didn't feel like I was
distant because I'd still bearound.
But Jayla and Joey thinkingabout it in their mindset they
were young, they were little.
So me like that's no retention,you know, that's not going to
stick in their brain, even if Iwas with them for so long up
(31:46):
until, like a certain age pointso then I think, when we had the
house and then we did thepictures and stuff, when they
saw the picture a little picturewhen you were, and they were
like, wait, that's a yeah littlepicture.
When you were a student andthey were like, wait, that's a
yeah, y'all, you've been on theride, y'all been here this whole
time.
Jayla and Joey I, yeah, I usedto be with y'all for real, like
(32:06):
we.
Even Y'all was on the image, soscared Like how these photos
gonna be.
Y'all are immature.
Y, y'all are in majority, y'allare in majority.
I'm saying anything.
We were coming to Florida.
I do that for sure.
We talk about I've been talkingabout Florida Since we
announced it.
Yeah, I'm like, look, I saidy'all, I'm putting my schedule
(32:31):
back here to week To be my go-totime.
Y'all know I need 80 hours forthese next two trips.
I'm going to have my 80 hours.
I don't burn a lot of time, butI'm like I'm going to work
extra, the way that operates ifI work 60 hours one week and it
just goes towards my 80.
(32:51):
But man, I was.
You made your mark for real,joey.
Vote for y'all, jalen and Joey,y'all really had From.
I was.
You made your mark for realJoey.
Vote for y'all.
Jalen and Joey, y'all reallyhad.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
Oh, this is Florida.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
From, I might say, the two oldest.
I'm not the two oldest, butfrom you still Two of the three
oldest to the two youngest.
Y'all did exactly what y'allsupposed to do here, when the
mayor don't remember anythingelse, hey family real quick.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
If you are liking what you're watching, please hit
that subscribe, hit that share,hit that like button so that
others can benefit from whatyou're seeing.
Please join us on so I'mAdopted podcast, Thank you.
Thank you for listening to theso I'm Adopted podcast.
We hope that this wasinformative and educational.
You can follow us on Instagramand Facebook at so I'm Adopted.
Also, subscribe to our YouTubechannel so I'm Adopted.
(33:44):
And again, thank you forlistening and until next time,
make the choice to begin yourhealing journey.
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