S3 E8 Cellular Success: How to Thrive When Your Boss Doesn't Get You (Part 2)

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PART 2

"Purpose doesn't mean ease. It means endurance." These powerful words from Dr. Mariska Adams-Cadogon perfectly capture the essence of this deeply moving conversation about professional resilience, authentic leadership, and finding your way through challenging workplace dynamics.

Dr. Cadogon takes us on an extraordinary journey through her transition from chiropractor to educator, revealing how she became a fierce advocate for Black and Brown students while navigating environments where her methods and successes were often questioned. With remarkable candor, she describes experiences where colleagues attempted to undermine her—even accusing her of cheating when her students performed well—and shares the wisdom she's gained about maintaining authenticity without becoming bitter.

The conversation takes a profound turn as Dr. Cadogon opens up about her personal health battles, including a breast cancer diagnosis and recent medical challenges that required FMLA leave. Rather than viewing these obstacles as setbacks, she frames them as necessary parts of her journey: "Anything I go through, I'm going through for someone else, so they can see the process and come out victoriously." Her visualization techniques for seeing herself beyond current difficulties offer powerful tools for anyone facing adversity.

Perhaps most compelling is Dr. Cadogon biological metaphor for toxic workplace dynamics: "You cannot have dead tissue adjacent to living tissue without causing harm." This insight provides a framework for understanding when to persist through challenges and when removal from harmful environments becomes necessary for survival and growth.

As she reflects on her formative years at Bennett College and looks toward future projects, including a book on building self-confidence Dr. Cadogon emphasizes the importance of pursuing joy and finding balance. Her philosophy—"Weebles wobble but they don't fall down"—encapsulates the resilience that has carried her through professional challenges, health crises, and personal growth.

Have you found yourself questioning whether to stay in a difficult workplace situation? Are you struggling to maintain your authentic self while navigating professional challenges? This episode offers wisdom, encouragement, and practical insights for anyone seeking to thrive rather than merely survive in their career journey.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, it's Natalie Parker of.
So your Boss Sucks.
Now what?
And welcome to part two of myconversation with Dr Mariska
Adams-Kadogan.
In our last episode, we talkedabout how she moved from
chiropractor to teacher and someof the experiences she's had.
In this episode, she's going totalk about the wisdom she's
gotten from her experiences, andyou're going to want to listen

(00:21):
to her explanation as to whypurpose doesn't mean ease.
It means endurance.
Let's take a listen.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
And I don't think it crosses their mind that you were
so good at cogging in the spotwhere you were that they didn't
want to move you because theydidn't know how to replace you.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
We call that in America we call that blockers
right manager, you know, keepsyou in space because they can't
afford to forego the workgetting done, the pain of
transition or even doing theirwork for them or, worse off, the

(01:16):
bonus that they get for yourperformance.
It happens, yeah, corporate,I'm sure that is so true.
Yeah, it happened, yeah,corporate, I'm sure that is so
true.
Yeah, listen, because you dogood, I get credit for it and I
get more of an incentive thanyou do for managing and
encouraging your goodness.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
And at the time I left my department.
When it came to those SOLs andsuch, my department had the
highest percentage pass rate.
So it wasn't where we wanted itto be, but it was higher than
everybody else of all the fourcontent areas.
So why would you shake thatboat?

(01:54):
So I get it?
Rock the boat, but I had tojump ship.
Look at all those metaphors.
So I was just saying there'slots of black and brown boys
that go to these schools, butthe staff doesn't reflect it.
So I was a welcomed addition,so that the boys really did,

(02:14):
just by walking past me, feeljust a little relief to see
somebody who reminds you of homeor you know, somebody who is
going to pull you aside and saywhat the hell?

Speaker 1 (02:24):
are you doing?
Yeah, and that sees them right.
That it's not a person whoyou're pouring into that.
Somebody's that advocating forthem.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yes, and I'm a fierce advocate.
Fierce advocate, um, because,um, it's required.
Um, sometimes, when adults areoffended, drained, tired,
haggard, jaded, all those thingsthey don't see the side of a

(02:58):
thing that meant no harm.
They don't see the side of thething that didn't know better.
They don't see the side of thething that was not thinking of
how it could so adversely affectthe entire project or situation
.
Because there are some peoplewho do not see kids as people

(03:37):
and there are some who don'tunderstand that being under 18
does not make you a child in thetruest sense of the word.
12-year-olds, 11-year-olds thathave to put five-year-olds and
seven-year-olds on the bus andcomb their hair and make their
breakfast or fix the noodles,get them off the bus, iron their
clothes, and so I have studentswho spend 6 am to 7.30 being

(03:58):
mama, and at 7.47, you want themto be a child.
You have to teach the kids infront of you.
Hargrave was very much like that, because the diversity was not
about the look of them, itwasn't even about how much money
they had, who had a scholarship.
It's because every child infront of you is a special needs

(04:21):
child.
Every kid has a special need.
So just because someone'sdiagnosed, that doesn't end your
population of special needs.
Every person has particularneeds as well and you have to
know that.
Your foundation can be sure,but you have to be able to pivot

(04:45):
.
You have to be able to changeup, to negotiate even with
yourself what's right and wrongand overall, at the end of a day
, I would say to a teacherforgive yourself and forgive
them and start over tomorrow.
Every day you're a brand newpainting to me, and you're
especially brand new when I meetyou for the first day.

(05:07):
I don't go back and look atyour records.
I don't know why you're here.
I don't look in your file andsee what school you were removed
from, why you were removed.
You're a brand new penny to me,baby.
So until you show me disrespect, I have no idea.
And I think that's why, over mycareer, I've been able to say

(05:28):
what he did, what I never hadhim do, that, which goes back to
that showing up thing.
You know you show up.
You know this bright and shiny,optimistic, you know stand and
deliver type person.
But it's because I believe inbrand new days, brand new years,

(05:51):
brand new kids, and at Hargravethey were brand new and they
really needed somebody that wasgoing to be the softer side, the
mom and auntie, because youhave a military portion and then
you have classrooms where youdo see some women and there were
a few who had a little bit of asofter side, but there were
some that just hid behind themilitary aspect because it made
it an easier place to teach insome ways, because any behavior

(06:13):
problem you could just call themilitary department and have
them come get the kid.
Yeah, so, and that was a spacewhere I really did experience
that issue, with someonequestioning my magic.
I even had a teacher therebehind the scenes accusing me of
cheating with kids who she sentto me to take tests for

(06:36):
separate space and because theydid well on the test, she said
that I was taking the test forthem.
She did not understand orchoose to ask about the magic.
Part of the magic was having achild in a space where the
atmosphere believed they could,yeah, and also encourage them to

(07:00):
think and draw from within andremember in ways that drew on
their senses.
And I found out happenstancethat she was doing that she had
sent two kids to me to taketests on a Thursday and on the

(07:20):
Monday when the boys showed backup to her class, she gave them
the test again and gave them thelower grade, because if they
got a B on Thursday and a D onMonday, then the D must be the
real grade.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
So they could not have passed on their own,
because I didn't teach them.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
Right, and what was so amazing to me is that I
really did believe that therewas a racial component, and this
is with this particular person,yeah, so nobody take from this
that Hargrave is racist.
That is not what I'm saying.
I even had one of the presidentsask me and I said no, sir, I
think that we have individualswith bias and we set out to

(08:07):
attend to that, but I couldn'tbelieve it, because this person
also is one that I wouldconsider a population that might
need an allied advocate.
A young lady who looked verymuch like someone who wanted to
transition to a boy, who dressedin a very masculine way, and I

(08:31):
thought surely this is a personwho understands the need for
openness and trust and advocacy.
And she was behind the scenes,poisoning the water against me
as if I was a cheat.
I had been there before she wasand have been in education in

(08:52):
some sort as long as she's beenalive.
So those kinds of things that Iexperienced in my career, where
what I do that benefits thechildren, can be drawn into
question.
Because I have found out that alot of what I am in education

(09:14):
cannot be taught.
I can't teach somebody else todo it.
I can encourage them to do it,I can model doing it, but a lot
of what I do and who I am ineducation is just cellular.
It's just who I am.
I had a big competition thisyear 144 students, 12 teams of

(09:36):
12 in a big venue that we havehere the Institute for Advanced
Learning and Research.
We have here the institute foradvanced learning and research.
All the kids wore white coatsand we had um, several
competitions.
One was um was for them to beinvolved in um, like a quiz show
type of activity.
Another one was um, except forranius lab activity.

(09:58):
They had no idea what they werecoming into and their team had
to do a lab.
And then um, I had students whowere.
They all took this test, youknow, and so it was a huge event
.
We had lunch together in thisgrand hall.
A lot of the bigger, the higherups came and a funny thing
happened.
So I went to the microphonebecause we were calling tables

(10:22):
to do things, I believe, and Isaid to the microphone I need
everyone to turn your volumedown by 25%.
I did like this and the roomwent oh, that's so great, let's
try another 25.
And the room went down.

(10:44):
The superintendent was there.
There's chiefs of things in theroom.
So later one of the chiefs inthe hallway she's oh, such a
great event, she's like you wentup there and told them to be
quiet and they were quiet.
It was so funny.
When she said it to me, I saidwell, girl, I say I stand in my

(11:04):
shoes and I say it is.
Then that's what it is, youknow.
So that's a piece of me.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
That you can't teach somebody to be that, yeah right
you can't teach somebody to dothat you have to have the
presence and the gravitas to beable to do it yeah and believe
that they're going to do itright and have a face.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
You know that you can make.
That'll sit a six foot five 250pound football playing senior
down without saying a word.
Some of those things you can'tteach a person to do.
You can just model them.
So yeah, I just I believe thatin all my spaces.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
I'm going to come in contact with that, but what I'm
learning?

Speaker 2 (11:40):
at this ripe old age of 47.75, is that I'm just going
to have to be okay with thatresponse, when I know what I'm
doing is the right thing for thesituation, when I know what I'm
doing is necessary and that itbenefits those who I'm serving.
And so if I have, you know,have a person like the girl at

(12:05):
Hargrave that you know tried topoison people against me, you
know, if that happens, then Ineed to no longer be surprised.
I have clutched my pearls somany times I do believe now I
have broken the string.
I can no longer be surprised.
You mean you think I'm you meanyou're mad because I I'm no
longer be surprised.
You mean you think I'm you meanyou're mad because I, I'm no

(12:28):
longer surprised.
And so expecting those kinds ofresponses?

Speaker 1 (12:33):
um, it's just what it is I mean.
So in this whole conversationwe've heard people call you
disloyal, a liar, a cheat.
You've gone through theamusement park of roller
coasters as it relates to peoplequestioning your character, and
yet you still have the mostoptimistic demeanor.

(12:58):
I want to talk about somethingpersonal, because not only have
you had your mother be sick, butyou yourself have had your own.
You yourself have had your ownchallenges from a health
perspective.
Talk to talk to us about howyou're able to keep your values,

(13:22):
your beliefs, your faithamongst dealing with, because
dealing with your healthchallenges and dealing with work
challenges at the same time isa whole nother you know gumbo of
emotional management.
Talk to us about that.

Speaker 2 (13:40):
Wow.
So I am actually coming to aclose on a period of FMLA
currently, because I became illat the beginning of this year in
a way that I was notunderstanding.
Let me say that in a lot ofways, I do believe that stress

(14:04):
can take you down, and I thinkthat I had gotten in such a
stressful place that I ended uphaving to take time off because
my body told the story.
I sit currently talking to youwith my entire right leg, from
my flank all the way to my toes,numb Very strange sensation,

(14:29):
and in hindsight it seems as ifI may have had a transient
ischemic attack, which is whatpeople call a mini stroke.
I might've had a mini strokewhich gave me that situation,
and in the midst of nursing thatsymptom and trying to figure
out what had happened, why thatwas happening, I actually also

(14:53):
developed what I thought was thesecond coming of COVID.
I don't know.
I was so sick and so I was justknocked down, even though I was
pushing and pressing.
So from January till March thatcompetition was in March by the
end of March is when thatsecond coming of COVID came on,
or whatever that was, and I wasjust super ill, to the point

(15:14):
that I couldn't even lift myright arm at one point.
And so there has been a lot thathas happened this year
health-wise that has challengedme In 2020, though I ended up
having a hysterectomy in 2020.
I mentioned that before becauseit was March 19, 2020.

(15:37):
I was the last so-calledelective surgery done at Silva
Hospital in Danville, had to bethere by myself and, um, my
hysterectomy was like one forthe books, because when they
removed my uterus and all of itslittle friends, all the little
fibroid babies in there, it was10 pounds.
So, um, I had a 10 pound uterusremoved from about a nine and a

(16:00):
half inch um scar that was cutLike I had a C-section.
I've never birthed any babiesand what's crazy about it is
that being that heavy.
They said that I was about at afive-month pregnancy with that
belly and when the uterus cameout, it was actually shaped kind

(16:21):
of like a baby.
I went through a lot ofemotional, hormonal things
during that time, even waking upout of my sleep looking for the
baby.
Like I woke up thinking that Iwas looking for the baby.
Wow, um, and with specifictasks, I gotta feed the baby.
There was no baby.
Oh, let's check on the baby youknow like wait up you know and

(16:44):
I would say you don't have ababy.
So, since school had closed downfor the pandemic, I did not
have to report to work afterthat, which was a good thing,
because it actually openeditself up and I got this
infection and had to spend about12 weeks going back and forth
to a wound care center andhaving nurses come to my house
in that time In the weeks rightbefore I got the new job, in

(17:08):
that time in the weeks rightbefore I got the new job.
But um, but yeah.
So that put me on estrogen anda year later I was diagnosed
with breast cancer.
So it is my belief that theextra estrogen, the synthetic
estrogen, is what put me in thatposition, because I ended up

(17:29):
with estrogen dependent invasiveductal carcinoma, so breast
cancer in my right breast.
I actually went to the doctorout of you know, pure vanity.
Really I was being vain.
So I didn't want to go to myappointment for the, for my
mammogram, because I'd had onethe year before.
But I had started a weight lossjourney in February of 2020.

(17:51):
And I wanted to have it onrecord that I lost 15 pounds, so
I went to the doctor so theycould put that official weight
in my chart.
Listen, let the record show itthat I've been working on this.
But they called me back becausethey saw some shadows, wanted
me to have more images.
I thought it wasn't going to beanything and so I went right

(18:12):
back and ended up beingdiagnosed in April of 2021 with
that breast cancer.
There was no reason why Ishould have had it.
I had no markers for it and atthe time they found two tumors
that looked like aboutblackberry sizes and then a big
white area that just looked likelike it probably was like
little baby cells, like.
They couldn't tell what it was.
And if I'd had a lumpectomy,the doctor was explaining to me

(18:36):
that he was going to take outabout 12 ounces anyway.
So they were talking about Isaid that's a cup and a half,
like that's a big chunk.
I'm like how are you gonna?
I'm the lopsided you know.
So I was referred and I endedup getting a double mastectomy.
So I got a set of noobs in Julyof 2021.
So I call them my noobs, sonoobs.

(19:02):
So when you talk about beingoptimistic, I always believed I
was going to make to the otherside, like this is just
something I'm going through andI say to people, anything I go
through, I'm going through forsomeone else, yeah, so that they

(19:23):
can see the process come outvictoriously.
So, and I will say, if Godbrings it to me to go through me
, then it's fine because it'sbrought to me.
There's nothing that I can'tget through.
But the way I did that in mymind was to imagine myself doing

(19:46):
things that could only be doneif I had made it.
Yeah, years down the line.
I imagine my son, who's at thisnow, at this time he's 13.
I imagine him driving me in thecar.
I imagine my nieces, who wereat the time barely walking.
I imagine them at kindergarten.
I imagine them in dance classand recital and I would sit in

(20:06):
it in meditation and imaginewhat I had on.
What did it smell like, whatdid it look like, what was I
saying?
I would imagine myself laughingwith my neighbors in the
auditorium or say wait, wait,wait.
You know, don't slam on thebrakes like that, you know.
Just really imagine the wholescenario.
See yourself past it and youdon't have to do it to that

(20:28):
degree, but you can see yourselfpast any ugly thing that's
happening.
See yourself tomorrow, seeyourself next week, see yourself
in the weekend and really sitwith that, and you, while people
are talking about things thatdon't make sense but I love
wearing good shoes I just lookat them, entertain myself and

(20:58):
meditate on where I would ratherbe, but you can definitely see
yourself beyond the moment andit helps to retain your optimism
.
But one of the biggest things Ithink and I almost called you
by your grandma nickname, butone of the things I think, and I
almost called you by yourgrandma nickname, but one of the
one of the I almost did it, butNatty Poo I was like yeah, she
sure did Natty Poo she sure did.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
One of the biggest things, natty Miss Executive
Lady, that's, that was her thing.
Where you going, miss.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
Executive Lady when you going, miss, that's the
thing when you been.
Negative lady when you been at.
So yeah, but one of the thingsthat helped me to remain
optimistic when people are doingthe things that they do that
could be very well takenpersonally is that I concentrate
on the why.
Why is that your experience?
Why is that your perception?

(21:49):
And I extend that to adults aswell as kids.
So why do you feel like that?
Who did that to you?
And there are some times when Iwill actually say it, I will
have to say you know, I'm notthem.
And the what, what, whoeverlied to you, and the what, what.

(22:13):
Whoever lied to you, whoevercheated you, whoever made you
not believe that impossiblethings are possible.
It wasn't me.
So if we could start again, Ireally appreciate it, because I
feel like I'm coming in justwith a very loaded situation and
I really don't know how toaddress it because I wasn't
there.
So can we start again?

(22:39):
And it's not that I don't feelpain or I'm not hurt or that I
don't get nervous, because Iremember, after the double
mastectomy, sitting at the endof my bed, I had my husband to
bring a chair into the room.
That was that of a fancy diningtable type chair because I
couldn't sit up on my own, but Ineeded to be able to sit up so
that my muscles wouldn't weaken.
And I sat at the edge of thatbed and I was thinking about how

(23:00):
I had to have that chair to sitthere and my face just went
with tears and I could crythinking about it.
Man, I could cry thinking aboutit.
And um, my auntie had called meand she said I know you're
feeling mighty bad.
She said, but I'm going to tellyou about this little song that
I sing when I feel bad and Ijust keep singing it until I

(23:22):
feel better.
I just keep keep singing ittill I feel better.
And she's like so if you startfeeling real bad, just start
singing it.
At first you're not going to beable to really get through it
too well, but just sing it again.
And so I'm sitting there at theend of the bed and I'm just
rocking and singing, and rockingand singing, and my face is
just wet and I start to pray andsay, god, I'm outside of my

(23:47):
depth, I've done everything Ican do.
There's nothing left for me.
My human power is done.
So I really need you to come onin and hold me up.
I need you to be a pillar at myback and I need you to help me
to get through this.
I have been cut on my body 65%around my circumference, for my

(24:09):
mathy people.
So the scar goes all the way toabout four inches from my spine
on one side and about sixinches from my spine on the
other side.
I had them take every bit ofcellular material from my
breasts bit of cellular materialfor my breasts and replace them
with implants on the brightside which sit up by themselves.

(24:33):
And I have to wear no bra ever.
So that's a beautiful thing.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
It's a testament.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
Yeah, on the bright side there's silver lining in
every cloud.
So you know, going to from aperson with you know dents and
black marks on my shoulders tositting here right now actually
my shoulders out and they sit upby themselves.
So you have to go throughsometimes to get to the good
stuff.
But I was just praying andsinging, and praying and singing
, and when you get to the end ofyourself, I would say that

(25:05):
space and time is a requirementsometimes.
I would say that space and timeis a requirement sometimes
Because many of us in theprofessional sectors whether it
be business or education ormedicine, whatever it is we are
achievers and so we haveconditioned ourselves to be able
to find a way out of things, toget finished with it sooner.

(25:39):
We don't sit in things, weobserve them, we examine them,
we solve them.
There is no solution in myhumanness that could have healed
that 50 inch scar.
There was nothing else to doexcept trust.
Now, to this very day, I talkto my cells in the way that I'm

(26:01):
commanding the mountain to bethou removed.
Can you talk?
to your cells, all the cells inyour body, the CLLS, because
cells, all the cells, in yourbody, the CLLS, because I need
all the cells to do what they'resupposed to, to function in the
way they were designed tofunction.
I need them to live as long asthey are supposed to live and
die when they're supposed to dieAmen.

(26:21):
Because cancer is simply anovergrowth of cells that either
don't know that it was time todie or an overgrowth that kept
developing really fast and neverlearned their job.
So you can have tumors ofimmature cells that don't work

(26:42):
well and by taking up space,they don't let the other cells
do the job that they can do,because they're just immature
and taking up space.
And then you got the other onesthat should have died, should
have left, should have retired,should have moved on, but
they're taking up space.
So the people, the cells, thepeople who could do the work

(27:05):
can't do it.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
Listen, let me tell you something.
I was going there, a fewweren't.
That is an entire analogy toorganizations, in and of itself
right, like you've taken upspace and you're not ready for
it, and you over here, you needto be wheeled out before you
kill the organization.
Yes, and God knows, I tell thisto a lot of my preacher friends

(27:28):
like a lot of churches,specifically older institutions,
have this problem where pleasedon't die in the chair, because
when you do, you havecomplicated the success of
everyone here because you didn'tmove.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
In those positions you know, emotionally,
spiritually, have been dead foryears.
And let's not go without sayingthat you cannot have dead
tissue adjacent to living tissuewithout causing the living
tissue harm and rot.

Speaker 1 (28:02):
Jesus, say it again to the people in the back.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
Okay, if you have dead tissue, dead anything think
of a tree falling in the forestyou have this dead log laying
there.
Is there bushy grass growing upunder a dead log?
There is not, becauseeverything under that log is

(28:25):
designed to operate within death, because everything under that
law is designed to operatewithin death.
That's why you can havemushrooms, because mushrooms
live off of decomposing material.
That's right.
That's right.
And they grow in darkness.
So are you dead material,thinking that because you have a

(28:46):
population of followers thatyou're not leading, people that
are following you blindly in thedark and living and getting
nutrition off of what's dead?
and how many we call things acancer.
You know, going back to, wecall things a cancer when, when
it's not working, when it'scausing disease and harm.
And you know we're not able toproduce because we have either

(29:11):
cells that should have died.
They did not choose to gothrough what's called apoptosis.
They should have died becausewe, as scientists, know the
lifespan of every kind of cell.
A red blood cell lives 120 daysand that's it.
It has to be replaced, right?
If you don't allow it to bereplaced, that's an issue.

(29:33):
If you have a bunch of cellsgrowing, being developed, but
then they don't get to the pointwhere they can actually carry
oxygen, that's called leukemia,what's called, you know?
So we get to a place, you knowyou got too many white blood
cells, not enough mature redblood cells.
I mean there's so many things.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
It's a very delicate balance of things that happen to
make your body work, or theorganization work, or your life
work.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
Exactly, yeah, and so yes, I do talk to myself.
I'm here for it and you know,for me it's prayer, because I
believe that every word thatcomes from your mouth is prayer,
even in conversation, which iswhy I monitor my words and I do
ask others to monitor theirs ifI find it having an effect on me

(30:15):
.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
So a very small, for instance.
I don't tell even my husband,don't forget.
I say remember, remember.
Yeah, programming and the ideaof this positive, positive
intent, positive conversationputs you in a form of action
rather than a form ofreservation.
It is really important for usto think in terms of what is the
action, rather than what youdon't want to do.
I didn't realize this until Ihad kids, and especially with my
kid having, you know, multiple,multiple different things going
on neurologically where we hadto stop Don't, don't.

(31:04):
We couldn't say don't do thisbecause his brain couldn't
process it.
It's just like well, what doyou mean?
Well, I'm doing it already.
So what is it like?
So we can say oh, you can dothis.
Instead Like let's do this.
Let's show you the other thing,because I mean don't think
about an elephant.
The first thing they do isthink about an elephant, so true

(31:24):
.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
And I got to tell you .
What's interesting about thatis you can look up
neurolinguistics, you can lookup metaphysics and see that
either you talk about theneurology of it all in
metaphysics, somebody will tellyou the universe does not
understand.
No, it's just the solid noun.

(31:52):
So any qualifier that isnegative is not a thing.
And so as soon as you say Ihope this doesn't happen, I hope
this isn't.
It's what comes, you'remanifesting it.
Yeah, manifesting it right out.
There the reason why I don'thave classroom rules.
I do expectations, and I do thesame ones every time with a
large umbrella, so that anythinga child does that you did not
want them to do, you can pointback to the expectation that was

(32:13):
not followed.
I use the same ones every time.
I call them Dr C's B's.
We will be appropriate, we willbe focused, we will be
respectful, we will be prepared,and the same I can expect from
them, they can expect from me.
So anything that they do, Idon't have to say no, throwing
objects in class.
They throw us.
Oh, that is not appropriatehere.
This is not the football field.

(32:33):
We don't throw things inscience lab.
Was that appropriate?
No, ma'am, are you focused onyour project or are you playing?
Because you know we're focusedin here, right?
So you want to put out therewhat you want in all instances,
even with adults, you know.
And when I, when I say thingsout loud, you know I want to say

(32:54):
the things that lend to myhealth and wholeness, and so
sometimes in the mirror, I'llsay you know, I'm like all right
in there, guys, all threetrillion of you, I want you to
do your work, do what you'resupposed to do, because you are
appreciated, and when the timecomes for you to let go, I want
you to release and know that youare appreciated.

(33:14):
You have done the deeds thatyou were designed to do.
I thank you so much.
You can go because everybodyknows that when you've had
cancer one time, there is achance that you would have
cancer again.
As a matter of fact, I wasgiven a 4% chance after chemo
and everything I did.
4% chance that I would havemicrometastases that they can't

(33:34):
see and that there could becells just like the ones that
were in my breast, cells justlike the ones that were in my
breast in my bone, liver orlungs, and so.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
I speak to them and say thank you for your service.
You can go now, but I thinkthat's so powerful because it's
important that we know how tolet go of things, both from a
working perspective, for thesituations that's not serving us
, from a relationshipperspective, knowing when things
are done there's a really goodbook by Henry Cloud, dr and the

(34:21):
emotions that we have need tocome to an end where we're not
perpetuating and reliving andrehearsing the emotions of the
thing, because more often thannot, the motions of the thing
will usurp the actual thing.
That happened.
I said it a while back, but wespend time being mad at

(34:41):
situations that are more like ahangnail, but we treat it like a
hernia right.
But now that you've rehearsedit, it has become this lump in
your back that's got you lookinglike Quasimodo, because it was
really just a hangnail.
But you've rehearsed so muchthat now it's the same thing
that is in your face and it'snot the thing that is in your
face.
Our ability to let things go ispart, I believe, of the ability

(35:04):
to receive joy, because ifyou're holding on to anger, if
you're holding on to fear, ifyou're holding on to doubt, if
you're holding on to beingafraid of what the boss will say
to you or being rejected right,the fear of being rejected.
If we're holding on to that,then you can't receive the
goodness that god has for you.

Speaker 2 (35:22):
You can't receive the things that are waiting for you
because you're too busy holdingon, I love and and to give
another metaphor, that'll takeus down to a place where it is
like, applicable to like anybodywho listens to this.
If you think about beingprepared to fight and you're
like right, so you're ready,you're prepared to fight.
Right, so you're ready, you'reprepared to fight, you're in

(35:43):
that position, right.
And so, just as you said, like,if we're like this, this is
like this, you know you can'treceive anything With your hands
balled up.
Yeah, so, cause you're, you'reready, you know.
But what if you just say let meexperience this for what it is,
I'm in real time.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
At this point, I think we're going to have to
make this like a two-parter, butfor all the whatever we're
gonna have to do to this causewe're on hour two, but I think
that it's been valuableinformation, so you make it a
two-parter.

Speaker 2 (36:15):
Yeah, because I, you know, as I talked about, you
know, being in FMLA right now, Idon't even look at it as a boss
problem and so you know, as weprep for this, and I'm sure
other guests you know, theyregard their current situation
as being off limits to speak onbecause they don't want to rock

(36:37):
the boat or anybody to hear themsay anything negative.
Limits to speak on because theydon't want to rock the boat or
anybody to hear them sayanything negative.
But I had thought about it in away of saying I don't want to
talk about a bad boss in mycurrent situation.
My current position.
What I have learned in thistime is that every situation

(37:00):
that I have experienced, I wasthere, and actually that's not
new for me, because when Iworked at the National Park
Service, as I went throughchiropractic school in around
2003, 2004-ish, there was a tourI gave that was the Elizabeth
Cady Stanton Home, and then Ihad Susan B Anthony, these

(37:24):
things.
I did these tours.
Well, elizabeth Cady Stanton hadwritten an essay, if you will,
and overall the end result orthe theme of the essay was
wherever you have experiences,the constant is you, you were

(37:44):
there.
You know, mr Brady, a BradyBunch would say wherever you go,
there you are, so you are.
You're there been thinkingabout how my behaviors, how I
address situations or go intosituations or do my jobs, my

(38:07):
work?
How can I manage that in adifferent way, to preserve
myself, to give myself more timeto serve, to give myself the
ability to reach more peoplewithout tearing myself apart?
How can I manage myexpectations?
How can I manage my energies?

(38:29):
How can I compartmentalize?
And because what I do is notseparate from who I am in a lot
of ways, it has been difficultto do A lot of jobs.
People will tell you you're notyour job, you're not your work.
Well, when you operate like I do, in a way that your work, your
jobs, are a part of yourspiritual gifts.

(38:50):
It is who I am.
I am a teacher, I am a healer,I am those things and have seen
that in many venues outside ofany workplace.
So how can I determine whenenough is enough?
How much energy do I give?
How do I discipline myself tounder promise and over deliver,

(39:16):
keeping in mind that lessonswill be presented to you time
and again until you learn them?
So the more boss stories youhave, the more.
I encourage you to do someintrospection.
What are you drawing?
What is the vibration thatallows those things to happen in

(39:39):
your life?
The vibration that allows thosethings to happen in your life,
what is the energy that you giveor emote that requires that
lesson?
And how many times have youexperienced the same thing, in a
different meat suit, the sameattitude, the same troubles,

(40:01):
with a different person, in adifferent venue, a different
state?

Speaker 1 (40:07):
Listen, I agree, and I think all of.
If you're not learning thelesson, you repeat the lesson
Exactly.
And I look back over the arc ofmy career and how many you know
situations I've I learned fromeach leader, even though they
weren't the best leader.
And one of our desires for theshow is to help people realize

(40:31):
that you don't have to keepserve and do what you do, and do
it well, to the best of yourability, without having to
diminish or completely changeyour personality to do it.
And how do you figure out andread the room before you get in

(40:54):
it to decide it's whether it's aroom you should be in it or not
, right?
And how can you be thethermostat rather than the
thermometer?
I was.
How can you be the thermostat,the atmosphere that creates a
new environment?
Because sometimes some, some ofus, have the quantum leap

(41:14):
assignment.
So I'm gonna do an analogy fromback in the late 90s.
I think they brought it back.
I love it they did.
But come in.
You know, sam Beckett was sentfrom the future.
He would go back and fix thethings in the past and he would
never know where he showed up.
But he would show up and haveto figure out what was his
assignment to be able to makethe next leap, to try to get
home right, and you know what.

Speaker 2 (41:44):
He.
He didn't know how he looked toothers, yeah, for a very long
time.
So here's this white malegetting sent to 1965.
He looks in the mirror.
He's an old black man workingat a gas station.
You know, yeah, that's a goodone, primarily because we don't
know how people see us right,and so you've got to show up and
be the thing that the situationneeds.

Speaker 1 (41:59):
A lot of times, we're so worried about how people see
us.
Right you really?
What does the situation require?
What does the situation require, Even though the boss may not
like me, even though the bossmay be a micromanager, even
though the boss may be jealouslike okay, I can't answer that,
but what does the situationrequire?
What is the definition ofsuccess that aligns with what

(42:21):
the organization needs and myvalues?
Because I don't want tocompromise me.
How do you adapt?
Because what's crazy to me isthat when you and I were growing
up in corporate America or inthe working spaces, the average
time in a company was somewherearound 10 to 7 to 10 years.
That number now is 3.8.
Yes, and it's hard to get depthif you're always jumping in and

(42:48):
out of something, because ittakes a year to understand an
organization.
It takes a year to just evenunderstand how it's operating,
especially if it's a large.
Then it takes a year for you toget your influence to be able
to implement stuff.
Then it takes a year for you toget your influence to be able
to implement stuff Right, andthen it takes another year for
you to see the outcome of whatyou've implemented in many of
those very you know subjectmatter Right.

(43:10):
So hopping around will allowyou to eventually get the
incremental bump in pay orwhatever, and happy for those
who can do it.
Allow you to eventually get theincremental bump in pay or
whatever, and happy for thosewho can do it.
But at some time you may plateauout because you haven't learned
the lessons of implementation,surviving through it.
What have you?
And so it's really our goal tohelp navigate of like okay, when

(43:32):
do you really need to pull theripcord so that you're not in a
toxic situation that's going todeteriorate your own emotional
and mental health?
We don't want that.
When is it that you just needto kind of suffer out some of
the situation, because it's notgoing to kill you, it's actually
going to make you.

Speaker 2 (43:49):
Don't let it kill you .
Don't let it kill you, and youknow sometimes it's there to get
you to make different decisions, listen, to see things
differently, because I am not aperson who has any give up in me
at all, so even taking the timeaway because I was ill was a

(44:10):
discipline for me.
To be able to say this is abenefit that is real.
I need to do it because I needto find out what is going on
with my health and I need torecenter so that I can do this
job well and do my life well andthose two things switch.

Speaker 1 (44:27):
And I would say that I will own this for myself.
I'm not going to put it on youbeing achievers.
I find it very hard just to sitstill, like I've had to teach
myself to like just sit down.
It's okay that you're not doinganything.
The world is not going to fall.
Yes, the dishes are dirty, yes,you need to do the laundry, but
you can sit here for for a bitof time and gather yourself and

(44:48):
think and reflect.
Like that's important too.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
It is, and I'm still working on it, even though I'm
coming to the end of my time.
I'm still working on thatstillness, um, because, um,
because when we are, you know,all engrossed in something,
there are plenty of things thatwe set aside that we wanted to
do and we thought we had time todo it and we didn't.
And so then there's thosethings.
Well, now I can work on mything or whatever.

(45:13):
It's something sitting still,but you're still mentally
working.
It took me a week and a half tostop spinning like a top.
I was just, I mean, I didn'tknow how wound up I was until I
tried to stop and then, really,the introspection and such, you
know, came along the way as wewere determining what had

(45:37):
happened to me, what should I bedoing about that, all these
kind of things.
And you know, even in mytherapy, you know, I have a
counselor and that has been mycounselor ever since UNC Cancer
Hospital.
So even in talking to mytherapist and I suggest
everybody needs a therapist andJesus, okay, don't put it all on

(46:00):
the Lord, you know, getyourself a human.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
He brought you in this journey.
He's there all the time.

Speaker 2 (46:10):
So, yeah, talk to a counselor about what's happening
with you, because you need toget to the center of your why.
I am a little Brown girl whogrew up in a rough neighborhood,
being picked on for some of thebest parts of me, and I was on
proving ground for 40 yearsbecause I had to prove that who
I was and what I did was worthyof admiration or that I was

(46:32):
doing the right things, becauseit was going to benefit me
somehow.
And I realized just after 40that that proving ground was a
toxic space.
I don't owe any explanations.
I have nothing to prove andnothing to nothing to to make
you let go of your beliefs andyour beliefs.
My opinion of me is what'simportant.

(46:55):
Your opinion of me is not mybusiness.
But I did not understand that.
I grew up wanting to prove thatI was okay and so, getting into
your forties, you have to getin a space that says, no, I
don't have anything to prove topeople.
Am I where I'm supposed to be?
Am I doing what I'm supposed todo?
Am I authentic?

(47:16):
You know, is this space where Ineed to be?
And whether you're there forone year, two or 25, make sure
that you are doing the thingsthat you were designed to do and
living on purpose, in purpose,for purpose, because otherwise
you will find yourself in a very, very low space.
If you're not doing thatBecause we can withstand lots

(47:39):
and lots of things when we're inpurpose Because living in
purpose does not mean livingeasily You're going to have lots
of hardships, but the hardshipsare made worth it because you
know you're on assignment and donot mistake your assignment and
create something that is notreal, because sometimes the

(47:59):
assignment is just to be present.
I have never worked anywhereuntil recently that I did not go
in knowing who or what group ofpeople or circumstances was my
assignment and I prayed thatprayer, really starting in 2012.
After the first year ofAlternative Kids, my mom had

(48:20):
said to me you wear thosechildren because I took it with
me everywhere I went.
I had kids who called mebecause they got locked out of
their house because theirparents put them on the porch.
I had kids who I had to buygroceries for because their mama
got put out of the apartment.
They live in a hotel.
I was the person, because Ibelieved that I was building

(48:40):
humans and not teaching students.
Yeah, I'm building humans.
So I realized that I had takenon quite a lot that first year
and, just like recently, I'vetaken on quite a lot and she has
said to me you know you wearthem.
And so the next year I askedGod to show me my assignments,
and a silly prayer as it was.
I said put a light over theirheads, like on touch by an angel

(49:02):
.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
Oh my gosh, we really had ourselves with our
television references.

Speaker 2 (49:08):
We are, we are.
But I said, put a light overtheir heads, because in the
spaces where I go, whether it'sstudents or adults, everyone
will benefit from my presence,but not every person's.
My assignment.

Speaker 1 (49:19):
Yes, and they don't need the.
They don't need the totality ofthe of they don't.
They don't need the whole beam,right, and I don't have to
wrestle with it.
Right, you can, you can radiate, but if you do have to shine in
one certain area, it'simportant and it's an important
analogy.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
Well, yeah, I'm like, show me.
And so then, once I know whoI'm there for, then I know
that's the person I have towrestle with all night till my
hip come out of joint, if youwill.
Ok, come on, and so I'llwrestle with that person.
I'm going to chase that person,I'm going to check on them and
call them show up at the house.
I'm going to go to church,watch them play drums and talk
to their pastor about howthey're doing in school.

(49:54):
You know there's a, that's myassignment.
I'm here for you, and so theothers will benefit, and that
took a lot of weight off of me.
The newest transition is that Iam dealing with something that
is like district wide, so it'smuch more difficult to be able
to visually see the assignments.

(50:16):
But I definitely have had tomake a transition into what it
means to serve, and so we haveto be sure that we are being
laser beam focused so that ourefficacy is not diminished yeah,
diminished.
You know I want to be little,it's not.
It's not diminished by thisbroad stroke of trying to be

(50:39):
everything to everybody.

Speaker 1 (50:40):
Sniper rifle rather than shotgun.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
Lord, we're shooting people now.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
Yeah, we sprays and it hits whatever.

Speaker 2 (50:48):
You might want to cut that out, but there are people
who are shooting folks, I don'tendorse guns, I just play
violent video games.
Minnesota Strong.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
So, Rich, I think a really good place for us to land
as we wrap up this conversationis.
You just celebrated 25 yearshaving graduated from the
illustrious Bennett College ofGreensboro, North Carolina.

Speaker 2 (51:13):
I did.
Oh, my God, I love being a bell.
Yes, ma'am, so it's my silveranniversary.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
You're a silver bell, honey.
I'm not there yet.
I'm close, not a couple yearsleft.
Just a couple, just a couple.
I want you to think about thethings that you've learned
post-Bennett and what are just afew values that shows up even
now in your life as you kind oflook back of that time on.

(51:43):
You know, on Market Street nowell, washington, I got it all
wrong.
It's not Market Street.
It was close to Market Street,but all that time ago.

Speaker 2 (51:54):
Yes, right East Market.
Well, I don't want you to tellyourself you might have spent
some time over there.
No, I didn't, don't do that.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
Don't do that, Reframing the question.
What are some of the thingsthat you value having you know,
25 years in the rear of yourtime, finishing your time on 900
East Washington Street inGraysboro?

Speaker 2 (52:22):
First and foremost, I want to really show gratitude
for Bennett College, becauseBennett College is one of many
reasons why I show up the way Ido, why I show up the way I do.
No one can diminish what I knowabout me, what I know about God

(52:42):
, what I know aboutpossibilities based on my time
there.
A lot of my gifts were fed atBennett College, so I had them
when I got there, but a lot ofthem were truly fed.
I have the blessing and thecurse of being a very gifted

(53:03):
person and I can say that justin the last year or so, without
feeling like I was being abraggart, I state facts.
There are lots and lots ofthings that I can do, but I say
it's a blessing and a cursebecause, number one, you have to
control the neurodivergence anddecide what you're going to

(53:25):
concentrate on.
And then you have to also be inspaces where your giftedness is
viewed as a weapon, where yourwillingness to contribute is
viewed as a weapon and not as apure, pure hearted offering of

(53:46):
yourself.
But Bennett College gave methat that I can be in any room.
My phrase that I use is I cango from the outhouse to the
White House and, in all spaces,be comfortable.
I attribute that to Bennett.
Bennett College in the 90s, late90s, when I was there, had

(54:09):
about 725 students, and amongthose 725 students were women
from everywhere, many, manystates, many, many countries,
every socioeconomic group, everyskin tone, speaking multiple
languages, and it was such aspace of acceptance in a lot of

(54:34):
ways and we admired one another.
So instead of us being jealousof each other's gifts, we
admired them.
We told each other how awesomewe were.
You know, we had prolificspeakers at the age of 18.
We had operatic singers at theage of 18.
Age of 18.

(55:05):
Fashion designers I mean somany gifts that we just saw the
benefit of your gift lending tomy gift.
And if I can do your hair, thenyou can do my nails.
If you can fix my dress, I canedit your history paper.

Speaker 1 (55:15):
The bartering system for sure and edit your history
paper the bartering system forsure.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
I just can think of so many.
I want to call out one of ourBell sisters who complimented me
on something one time and sheprobably doesn't even remember
Kenya Samuels.
So Kenya was in my dorm conehall at the time and a lot of
the students did not likehistory class, but when I read
the books I had a way ofretelling the reading as if it

(55:41):
was real people in the story.
And I would be telling them andI'd be like girl, and then the
king had a nerve, you know,telling them the story and be
like, and don't you know, hiscousin.
You know.
So I'm telling the story likethat, and they just thought it
was the funniest thing.
So you know, and it made themwant to read it more and they

(56:02):
started to read it in a way thatwas more relational, you know,
like the relationships, the realhumans and how we can make
those humans look and feel likepeople that we know.
And she just thought that wasthe greatest thing.
We helped each other and lovedeach other in a way that I know
I would not have gotten anyother place in this whole world.
I have circles of friends that Ihave had now for more than 25

(56:24):
years at this point, becausewhen I came to Middletown I had
to come in the summertime andmyself and Darlene Simmons we
were the Mark Scholars.
I got a scholarship.
Darlene was from the GullahGullah area islands, st Helena
Island, south Carolina, beaufort, and here I was from Danville,

(56:45):
virginia, and at the time myschool district was like tops of
Virginia and I came in andhaving all these AP classes and
all this stuff and havingexperienced so many things in
high school and Darlene was forme a very balancing factor
because I was so hell bent onachieving, achieving, achieving,

(57:06):
you had to get it done.
That summer Darlene and I tookthe capstone English class,
english 103 to health class, andwe took Calgate Like we took
heavy classes in summertime andum, and got those done.
But Darlene was just like thisbalance for me.
I loved her so much because shehad no sense of embarrassment

(57:29):
whatsoever, like whatever shewas, what she was, um, you know,
and so funny.
One time she had fixed her hairand she probably was like, why
are you telling the story?
I, she had used a curling ironbut she was doing it wrong and
it had this crazy bend on it.
I was like, well, you'resupposed to turn it where the
barrel goes like.
So I was teaching how to use acurling iron.
But so she had gotten thecurling iron down, but she only

(57:50):
fixed these two pieces and theback.
She just took a brush, justbrushed it real straight because
it was kind of cut at her neck.
So she just so I said, don'teven what about the back of your
head?
And she was like, well, when Iwalk up, you ain't looking at
nothing but the front.
The back ain't none of mybusiness, like that, I can't see
the back.
So just a balancing force, youknow, and so many people were

(58:12):
that there.
And it also gave me opportunityto let go of some of the things
that I believed or have beentaught that needed to be
debunked, and so I canappreciate that, because it
allowed me to be in spaces withanybody and everybody and learn
how to benefit in a space, togive to the space, but never to

(58:35):
be intimidated by any space.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:42):
I can't agree more.
I can't agree more.
Our time there was a lot of fun, a lot of learning, a lot of
growth and a lot of wateringright.
Having come from veryWaterboarding OK, sometimes,
sometimes, sometimes, but havingcome from very Waterboarding
Sometimes, but having come fromvery white spaces into Bennett,

(59:02):
for me was both validating and,you know, getting pushed in the
deep end of like, oh, you can dothis.
I'm like, ah no, I can't, oh,maybe I can Like.
I totally agree.
And it's funny because I'mstill in contact with a lot of
Bells that are not only from myclass or, more importantly, your
class I think I'm more friendsin my own but the network of

(59:26):
alum who are all over thecountry and very still much
engendering to the sisterhood,which is always amazing.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
It's amazing and I really had not ever even heard
of being at college until mysenior year.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
Listen, chris Wilson from Pensacola, new Jersey, was
my high school.
She was one of the like admin,something like that.
And she's like you need to goto bed.
I'm like lady, I don't needlisten.
Let me say something.
I like boys and I ain't tryingto be around a whole bunch of
females because that's trouble.
And then I got the scholarshipand my dad was like well, you

(59:59):
can either go ahead and do thator you can pay for whatever's
next.
I'm like okay, well, that's thething.

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
That's what my dad that's.
The only time my dad everyelled at me in anger is when I
was crying because I wanted togo to James Madison University
and my dad said you're pissingme off, you're going where
they're giving you the money.
That was the conversation.
But yeah, that was theconversation.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
Listen, I have the same thing, because I wanted to
go to Howard and they gave everyschool 13 schools I went to,
got into all of them and HowardUniversity was the only one that
didn't give me any money.
Just terrible.
Oh wow, terrible, terrible,terrible, terrible.
They didn't know what they werelistening to.
It's all good, god does allthings well.

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
And you know what's crazy.
So we can cut all this out.
But it was funny that I was inDanville, 42 miles away, had
never heard of being in collegeever before.
I was at a college fair in thecafeteria of my high school and
a lady said, hey, hey, come overhere and talk to me.
You need to talk to me.
And I was like okay, and shewas from Bennett College and I
had never once heard of it notonce.

(01:01:09):
And ended up getting ascholarship for tuition and then
later got this application forthat full ride scholarship from
the National Institutes ofHealth and Dr Watkins.
Nellie Watkins taught me one ofmy biggest lessons that I use
to this day, which is biblical,but I had not read it before,
that she says to me, as she hadoutlined the scholarship in a

(01:01:30):
meeting with my mother and I,she says you know, to whom much
is given, much is required.
And so that goes for mygiftings that went for my
scholarship spaces.
That you're allowed to occupythe spaces where your gifts make
room for you.
To whom much is given, much isrequired.

Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
Dr Cadogan, we have covered so much ground in this
conversation.
I want to know what's next foryou.
What are you most lookingforward to as you go forward?

Speaker 2 (01:02:04):
Well, what is next and in the works for me is
coming in for landing on lifebalance.
I've been working at it forseveral years, but I think that
I have learned my final lessonabout how to treat be doing more
writing, more singing, probably, and just overall having a

(01:02:29):
focus of joy.
Doing things because it givesme joy, not because it makes a

(01:02:51):
whole lot of money, not becausesomebody else thinks I should.
As a matter of fact, for manyyears, anybody who tells me I
should do something can count onme not doing it because that's
not your business.
Y'all have been saying don'tshit on me, so don't shit on me.
If you tell me I should dosomething, then it's going to go
under a real serious microscopebecause I have to make my own

(01:03:14):
decisions.
But I've been working on acouple of pieces.
One is a workbook called SevenDays and Seven Ways to Increase
Self-Confidence.
So it's funny that you talkabout people not knowing how to
show up or how to really take mewhen I show up.
So that's what I've beenpouring into a bit.

(01:03:37):
And what is so crazy, speakingof neuro, neuroscience and all
is that I had this book parsedout and, you know, ready to go
in a way, but I had to gothrough one more knockdown
before this book could be asauthentic as it needs to be, and

(01:04:00):
so I count this last illnesswhen.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
I didn't even know I was ill.

Speaker 2 (01:04:04):
I thought I was just exhausted but I was actually ill
.
So I count this as the lastknockout that was needed for me
to really be believable when Itell you that you can do things
to make a difference, when Itell you that you can do things
to make a difference, becausebeing ill and having limitations
because you're ill will makeyou question whether or not

(01:04:24):
you're able to do things at all,whether you have the skill,
whether you have the wherewithal, the energy, like why might as
well give up?
You know I'm going to give upand so, as I was editing the
book very recently, I realizedthat I needed my own book and I
had no idea that I needed it sothat I could, at the very least,

(01:04:46):
not descend into the pit, neverto return, but maybe just visit
it or look at it from adistance and not give up on
myself and keep the confidencein all things that I have been,
that I can be and that are ableto be done with my hands and
feet for God.
And so I think that this wasnecessary, it was a must, needs

(01:05:11):
go through, so that I could bebelievable when I say these are
things that if you do them, theywill make a difference in your
life.
Yeah, without seeming likesomebody who doesn't have to do
anything, that doesn't have towork at it, because that's how
sometimes I am perceived assomebody who has it easy and

(01:05:33):
it's not easy.
I just simply don't believethat anything can knock me down
if not for purpose.
Right, weebles wobble, but theydon't fall down.

Speaker 1 (01:05:51):
You pulled that from the archives.

Speaker 2 (01:05:53):
Oh yeah, my mom and I use it all the time.
We've been using that since Iwas a kid.
You can get knocked.
I mean, I tell you the world,life, people, situations can
really push you.
But I like to see myself aseither one of those clowns with
the rocker bottom or like aweevil.
You can punch me and I mighteven hit the ground, but I just

(01:06:16):
wobble because I'm popping backup.
And when I pop back up likethat clown, I'm coming back for
you I'm trying my best not tosing.

Speaker 1 (01:06:25):
I get knocked down.
I'm trying my best and not damn.
I get no yeah, but I get upagain oh that one.

Speaker 2 (01:06:32):
Yes, I did it, yes, yes, so true, yep, yes, I did
yes, yes, so true, yep, yep.
My favorite mental song duringworkspaces is All I Do Is Win.
That's not a bad song.
All I Do Is Win, no matter what.
Listen so, even in the moment,like it can seem like something
so horrible, but I'm like, carryon through this process, but

(01:06:53):
all I do is win.
I know that's right.

Speaker 1 (01:06:59):
Well, listen, my favorite winner, Dr Mariska
Adams-Kadogan.
It has been an absolutepleasure having you on.
Sew your Box, that's now what.
Thank you so much for being apart of our journey.

Speaker 2 (01:07:09):
Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 (01:07:13):
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