October 23, 2025 • 56 mins
A vintage ad rabbit hole, a cup draw, and suddenly we’re waist-deep in one of Knot’s Landing’s most combustible season openers. We kick off with Connie Giannini’s Figurines spots—small, sugary time capsules that set the mood—then pivot into a neighborhood where every sunny driveway hides a secret and every choice exacts a price. Gary plays house in two zip codes until Abby draws a hard line: pick a door. Val chooses distance and a quiet room at Rusty’s ranch, which turns into a powder keg the second Gary shows up. The brawl is raw, messy, and revealing; it isn’t just bodies colliding, it’s entitlement meeting consequence, and a marriage splintering in front of a kid with a guitar. Meanwhile, Abby proves she’s playing chess on a bigger board. One envelope, one unpublished manuscript, and JR becomes a silent guest at Seaview Circle. It’s ruthless and brilliant, the kind of move that crosses state lines and guarantees aftershocks. Gary’s bombshell—Jock’s will is finally being read—adds fuel to the question no one wants to ask: is he chasing love, or securing leverage? Across the street, Karen won’t let memory turn Sid into a footnote. Her dynamic with Mac crackles—half investigation, half attraction—while his theory reframes everything: what if Sid’s death wasn’t a professional hit, but a sloppy, local tampering? That notion drops like a pin on Wayne, the mechanic with a flat affect and a private scrapbook that says he’s been watching all along. We move through all of it with a fan’s heart and a critic’s eye: the credit tweaks, the swelling strings, the kids growing up, and the way a cul-de-sac becomes a crucible. If you love prime-time soaps, character-driven stakes, and crossovers that actually matter, this one delivers. Press play, ride the waves with us, and tell us: who made the smartest move—Abby, Val, Karen, or Mac? If you’re hooked, follow the show, share it with a friend who misses appointment TV, and drop a review to help other classic-soap fans find us.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_04 (00:02):
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
welcome or welcome back to StoneFloor, the official gathering
place for new leads novices andOG diehard fans of the Golden
Age of Prime Classic.
I'm your host, Jed, viewing andreviewing that season premiere
from the early 80s.
So whether you're new to this orthrough this, the back and
enjoy.
Don't use this time to playoutside or out of sight, so
(00:24):
there's no questions,suggestions, or concerns for the
next 25 to 45 minutes.
Everyone else in AirShot, youcan be cold, you can be quiet,
or you will be put out a wateron the door.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andknow this is open.
(00:57):
Hello, party people.
Welcome and welcome back toanother fun-filled edition of
Soap4.
We got two down, two to go onthe season premiere of vintage
primetime soap operay.
That sounds kind of funny tosay, but you know what I'm
saying.
It might be old news to you, butit's definitely new to me.
And baby, I have yet to bedisappointed.
(01:19):
We had a Who Done It right outthe gate on Dallas, and Falcon
Crest let us know that two ofour main characters are back.
They were not blown toSmithereens, but we got an
amnesiac and a long lost kiddo.
Season five is not playing withus, not even a little bit.
I am a little bit behind onrecording, so this is gonna be a
(01:42):
lot closer to real time.
And I have a very special pieceof information that I was
blessed with earlier this week.
I cannot wait to share it withyou.
So go ahead and pour yourself upsomething bubbly and bright.
Settle in as we decide whatwe're gonna watch, what I'm
gonna review, who we're gonnatalk crazy about.
You already know what it is.
(02:02):
Go ahead and get comfortable.
We got a lot of work to do.
This is actually perfect timing,and I'm so glad I didn't read
this before.
I got a very interesting, verycomical, very amusing piece of
commercial history, an iconicperformance than none other than
Connie.
(02:22):
What's Connie's last name?
Is it Giannini?
Yeah.
Connie Giannini on Falcon Crest.
She may be MIA for the timebeing.
Let Chase tell it.
She got in a car anddisappeared.
Which I guess that tracksbecause she just sort of flew in
to bury her mom, and then shewas bullied into making
champagne.
(02:44):
And then she fell in love withthe aviator Adonis.
I mean, I get it.
Maybe she's saving face, maybeshe's embarrassed.
Maybe the thought of his wifebeing blown to smithereens
turned her off.
I really don't know.
What else I didn't know?
Shout out to Bob.
Thank you so much for sendingthis to me.
I have cackled.
I've had a really good time.
I probably watched these or allthree of these, no less than six
(03:05):
times.
Uh Connie Giannini, aka CarlaBorrelli.
Okay, I'm just gonna read thissecond line.
Not sure if you know, but DonaldMay, the dude who played
Bradford Linton and CarlaBorelli, who played Connie, were
married in real life.
He died a few years ago whenthey were married up until his
death.
I believe they were alreadymarried by the time they were on
(03:27):
Falcon Crest.
I don't remember that.
And I even looked up that guy'sname.
I don't remember who that is, soI'll probably have to sit and
like actually watch the episodesall the way through.
Okay, uh, they both had beendaytime soap stars.
They met on the set of Texas,where she shined, and apparently
he didn't.
Here's a real C.
So apparently he was difficultto deal with on set, a full-on
(03:49):
diva.
He had been a pretty popularleading daytime soap star for
years on a show called The Edgeof Night, but left pretty
abruptly.
I think he probably thought hisdaytime cachet was gonna
translate into big things forhim.
You hear that a lot.
And it it seems to me, I don'tknow this guy's background.
I'm probably gonna look it upbefore I watch whatever show.
(04:10):
I feel like when when someone isuh when they take themselves
really seriously, which Irespect, you gotta do that.
Thespians seem to be the mostserious of actors.
Those in the full-on methodactors who usually come from the
stage.
I wonder if that's his wholebit.
And he was really fillinghimself, but you know what?
(04:32):
He may not have gotten thestardom he thought he was gonna
have, but he got a baddie as awife.
I'm just gonna read what Bobsays.
He says, if you were just a fewyears older, you'd also remember
Carla slash Connie from theubiquitous figurines commercials
that seem to never stop airing.
Okay.
When I read the word figurines,I'm literally thinking of those
(04:54):
precious moment littleknickknacks, those Totsky little
droopy-eyed figures that wereall there.
Sometimes they were praying,sometimes they were doing
different things.
I feel like I saw thoseeverywhere.
That was a staple in mychildhood, right next to the
crocheted dolls over tissue, themother goose with the little hat
on, or the bears with the weirdpattern, and then like the loony
(05:17):
tune shirt.
There's so many things that Istart to remember, but I had
never heard of this.
Figurines was apparently like adiet substitute cookie
thingamajig, like a replacementmill.
Do you remember when Special Kcame out with those little snack
packs and everybody wasstarving, but they thought they
were so cute?
It reminds me of like a slimfast.
But here's the thing (05:36):
it's made by Pillsbury, which you
immediately think, ooh, it'sgonna be ooey gooey and moist.
This looks dry as hell, butConnie Giannini is doing her
ting.
Listen.
SPEAKER_02 (05:48):
You can crunch out loud.
Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch,crunch.
They're the most unfighteredkind of diet lunch.
Figurines brand diet meals fromBluesberry.
When everyone is munching, youcan crunch along.
SPEAKER_04 (06:10):
Oh my god, it gets better.
Listen, you tell yourself whatyou need to tell yourself when
you're losing weight.
Sometimes it does help to keepyour mouth busy.
That one looked okay.
The other one I feel like was alittle more moist.
SPEAKER_00 (06:35):
Moist, greeny, delicious.
SPEAKER_04 (06:56):
She is taking revenge on all the Claire's and
beautiful things she didn't getto eat.
I love it.
Connie is killing it.
Here's the thing I'm noticingthough.
She has not changed that hair.
She likes a good old-fashionedtoddlers and tiara big hair.
But I mean it's 1976, so thattracks.
Thank you so much for sendingthat in.
(07:18):
That was amazing.
And when she breaks the littlecrunch bar in half, kind of
looks like a nutter butter.
Or no, what are the waffle,those little waffle things that
are covered in chocolate?
Sometimes they're pink.
We used to have them at Sundayschool with that battery acid
red punch that burned the toplayer of your tongue off.
It looks like one of those.
She snaps it in half, talkingabout it's it's moist in the
(07:39):
middle.
No, not at all.
Not at all.
All right, okay, that was a funlittle blast from the past.
Let's see what we're watchingtoday.
We're either getting down ondynasty or we're getting down on
Knott's Landing.
In order to keep this completelyblind, I have my lovely
(08:00):
assistant here who is going toreach into the cup and pull out
one of those.
Just pick one.
Thank you, dear.
SPEAKER_01 (08:12):
Do I say something now?
SPEAKER_04 (08:14):
If you want to, you can read it.
Just open it and let me know.
This is what I'm watching next.
SPEAKER_01 (08:20):
Not landing.
SPEAKER_04 (08:21):
Ah okay, that's kind of what I wanted.
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_01 (08:26):
No problem.
SPEAKER_04 (08:29):
Right off the bat, since it's not slanding, I
already know there's no way Ican do this in real time.
Y'all know how you know how Iget.
This show seems to get under myskin.
But I'm excited.
Oh my gosh.
Okay, there's this feelsmomentous from what you guys are
(08:49):
telling me.
This is when things really revup.
This is when it changes.
I fully believe you because I'malready a fan.
I'm already totally into it.
Even if they stayed exactly thesame for the next 10 years, I'd
be okay with it.
I just want to hold on to thismoment just a moment longer and
try to remember what I thinkabout the show before.
(09:10):
I thought it was good.
I like the camaraderie with theneighbors.
I'm fully expecting a hugefallout from the Abby slash Gary
get together.
Although I do think Val mightstick around with him just to
work it out.
Seems like you could really milkthe storyline if you wanted to.
You could absolutely makeeverybody's life miserable.
(09:31):
I I I'm imagining likedissension between the fan
group, fan group, the um, thethe neighbors.
I forget how many houses theyhave on the street, but I'm sure
somebody else is moving in.
Yeah, at some point we gottafold in a new neighbor.
I'm just realizing that it'sbeen three seasons.
There hasn't been any newneighbors.
We've had some outliers, so I Iwould imagine they're gonna do a
(09:54):
little bit more of that.
Unfortunately, we know Diana's.
I'm so upset about that.
I'm gonna have to let that go atsome point.
But dang, why isn't she atcollege?
She probably goes to UCLA.
I keep forgetting when you're ina large city like that.
Like, what's yeah, there's somany colleges to pick from.
She could go anywhere and behome that weekend.
Ugh, yeah.
(10:15):
Okay.
Oh, I just remembered one of youguys told me a long time ago
that they changed the see theopening credits every time.
So I am gonna watch that.
And I guess that'll tell me.
Well, maybe it will, maybe itwon't.
It might not tell me if there'snew characters because last
season they pulled the OG Dokeand they left Sid in there.
(10:35):
I'm not sure I would havenoticed if they didn't, but they
left him in for the openingcredits.
I'm sure of it.
All right, guys, let's figureout what this episode is called,
and I'm gonna jump in whole hog.
I'm gonna do my best.
I don't I don't know how this isgonna go.
I really don't.
Okay, I'm in a different room.
I just Googled, and I guess I'mon the official okay.
(10:56):
This is the officialnon-slanding website.
I see a fanned out p oh my god,this fool.
This is pissing me offimmediately.
It's a picture of Gary in themiddle.
Val has 80s hair, and she'swearing Maggie's dress from
Falcon Crest last season, andAbby's got a little bit of a
shorter haircut, fluffed out.
(11:17):
Let me just skip all this.
Season four, don't look ahead,don't look ahead.
Is it called a brand new day?
It says 54.
I'm gonna assume it's called abrand new day.
If I'm wrong, I'll correctmyself here in a minute.
Season four, episode one ofKnot's Landing, a brand new day.
So my lovely assistant helped meout.
I stepped outside the room whilethe little pre-part showed.
(11:40):
I did hear somebody say murder,so now I'm super curious, but I
am gonna watch the opening tosee who's who and what's what.
Okay, I hope this isn't tooloud.
Let's just see what we can do.
Oh, it seems like they changedthe theme song just a little
bit.
I don't mean to bore you guyswith this, I just really oh,
(12:02):
okay, Kevin Dobson.
Oh, he's cute.
He got a little fro andeverything.
He's real cute.
There go Lily Mae.
Oh, there's Kenny with gingerpeppered in.
Okay, yeah, I really didn'texpect them to go anywhere if
I'm being honest.
(12:25):
Wait, didn't they already showher this?
It says Michelle Lee now.
I guess it was just showing herface at the beginning.
I really should watch thesemore.
Okay, there's Abby.
Duh.
Richards, duh.
Yeah, I don't I don't expect tolose anybody.
Right.
Well, hell, I will never saythat again.
(12:47):
I just really wanted to see ifthey added a new person to the
top of the show, and it lookslike they did.
Oh, this dude's wearing like aleisure suit.
Okay, all right.
Okay, I'm gonna, I don't knowwhat I'm gonna do.
Let me just stop recording andlisten.
I guess they're giving us alittle bit of a flashback
(13:09):
because Abby and here are inbed.
Abby and Gary, of course, are inbed.
Yeah, this is a flashback.
Wow.
Oh wow.
Okay, you know they ain't evensaid a word on this yet.
We just saw Valen running downthe beach.
She looks so young.
I thought it was a teenager atfirst.
This bastard.
(13:30):
Just okay, so he got caught.
You know exactly what I'mtalking about.
He got caught at the friend'sapartment.
He chased his wife down thestreet.
Honey, listen to me, listen tome, listen to me.
Tell me why he woke up in Abby'sbed, had the balls to walk off
the street to his own houseafter he'd have made a fool of
his wife in front of everybody.
Well, I guess it wasn't in frontof everybody.
(13:52):
Wow.
He really slept.
You know what?
Okay, so I see where this isgoing immediately.
He for real slept at Abby'shouse.
You want your wife back so bad.
Or maybe he just wanted toexplain.
I don't know what he wants.
But you're gonna chase her downand then 20 minutes later, you
in somebody else's bed.
If I was Abby, there is no wayhe's getting my bed.
I don't know how many seconds weare into the show, but you know
(14:12):
how it goes.
I've already downed mynon-alcoholic champagne.
I'm gonna have to get a refill.
Should have bought anotherbottle, but I didn't.
Not only does this man chase hiswife in the dark of night, he
then goes to Abby's bed, decideshe's gonna wake up and go to his
own home and have a bowl of dryraisin bran cereal.
Lily Mae is ignoring him thewhole time.
(14:33):
She wished he would ask aquestion.
She's got her mouth fixed,perched, and fully ready to
curse him out.
He don't say nothing.
He just reads the paper, then hesort of drops it like he's cute
or something.
And she said, you know what?
Don't ask me nothing about mydaughter.
He definitely didn't ask hernothing about her daughter.
But she's like, if she wants toget a hold of you, she knows
(14:53):
where she can find you, at leastduring the day.
Only to have this man gooutside.
Abby sends her kids off withDiana.
Diana's got a real cool car,too, by the way.
I've never seen that.
So maybe she just got it lastnight.
When Abby comes out of thehouse, why is he just he's
smiling like she's a ray ofsunshine?
Make up your mind, sir.
If you're going to stay there inall the boldness with it, you
(15:16):
know, in front of God andeverybody, move all the way in.
You don't get to come home andhave raisin bran cereal.
You don't get to eat of mysupplies and then go back
somewhere else.
And she a fool, too.
She a big fool smiling in hisface.
She didn't have nothing to sayto him.
So apparently, Val has been gonefor three weeks.
It's not the next day.
So is this fool sleeping at herhouse every night?
(15:39):
I guess we'll get around tothat.
Joe's back, and Joe is feelinghimself, or he's feeling the
pressure.
Val's book is apparently aboutto go into print.
He's on the phone talking to Godknows who.
They're like, Where's your girl?
She needs to be out herepromoting this book.
Lily Mae knows exactly where sheis, but she's keeping mom.
She's saying, not a damn thing.
She just put a hot plate and afew other bags of things in the
(16:01):
car.
Joe accost her.
He's like, Yo, you need to tellyour daughter to get back here.
I don't care about her personallife.
I'm her editor.
Tell her to get to work.
Joe, calm down, baby.
Please have a seat.
She don't give a damn about thatbook right now.
I wish she would add some morechapters, but I had to stop and
press play or press recordbecause Lily Mae is driving in
LA.
God, I love how old this looks.
It's just beautiful to me.
(16:22):
I love film from like the 60sand 70s, and this feels very
70s-ish, even though it's veryearly 80s.
So it's that residue.
That's not the point, though.
She pulls up to the Bates Motel.
I kid you not.
You know the first thing youthink of is, of course, Psycho.
I had recently started watchingthe Ryan Murphy American Crime.
Ryan Murphy is a little bitintense for me when he does
(16:44):
horror.
Like I love American HorrorStory because it's a good story,
but I can only do him once ayear.
I feel like he's so gory.
You know how I feel abouthorror.
But he puts together a very goodstory.
American Crime, they've done OJ,they did the Menendez Brothers
last time.
This one is about this guy fromthe 40s.
They're calling him a serialkiller killer.
(17:04):
I have not got to the pointwhere he's actually killing more
than one person.
He's only killed one person atthis point.
He likes to dig up corpses.
Super gross, right?
When you see that story, you'relike, okay, I can see why Psycho
was influenced by this.
Now I don't remember if it was abook first or if Hitchcock was
just sort of inspired by thisparticular story.
Keep that in mind.
(17:25):
Norman Bates, Norman Bates,Norman Bates.
I got curious as I'm watchingthe show, because this lady on
TikTok, she has a YouTubechannel as well.
Her name is Nick, the Kermitversion, is like in parentheses.
She does film noir reviews orjust sort of breaks it down for
you.
She's a lot of fun.
She's hilarious.
But she has so much knowledgeabout these old films and the
(17:48):
studio systems, etc.
She's super into Hitchcock.
So I had remembered a few thingsshe said, and one of them was
like how hot this guy who playedNorman Bates was.
So I got curious as to what hedid after the film because at
the point I'm watching now, thefilm is very controversial.
They had the first viewing andpeople were vomiting and stuff.
(18:10):
They weren't used to the gorewe're used to today.
Seems like he was typecast for alittle bit after that.
This movie's what, early 60s?
Yeah, he plays this role.
He gets this really big buzz,but then it never really takes
off.
He has a few other films, and hewas dating, I think his name is
Tab Hunter for a while.
I saw Tab Hunter's documentaryyears and years ago.
(18:32):
I remember parts of it, and Ivaguely remember him, but I
didn't put two and two togetherfor some reason.
I guess it's been too long.
Anyway, that was his boo formany, many years.
I guess they have some sort offallen out and never really
fully hooked back up ever again.
But that's not the point I'mtrying to make.
The T about this whole situationis Mr.
Norman Bates had his first everlady experience with none other
(18:58):
than our girl, Pamela FreakingEwing.
Yes, allegedly him and PamelaFreaking Ewing, aka Victoria
Principal, hooked up together onthis Western.
It was either a series or amovie.
They used to hook up in betweentakes and whatnot.
Just FYI, the next time you seePsycho, keep that in mind.
(19:19):
I just looked it up.
It's the Life and Times of JudgeRoy Bean.
And here's the kicker.
His ex was in the movie too.
Woo.
Back to Nod Landing.
Lily May is hauling stuff upthese stairs.
And she ain't no better than aman.
She sees a young strappinggentleman in a pair of barely
there shorts.
Not her stopping and staringlike, dang, she didn't even care
(19:42):
that his girl was there.
Yeah.
Lily Mae is Abby.
Abby is Lily May.
Lily Mae is good and pissed.
She's not too keen about Valenbeing hauled up in this hotel
motel holiday in room with awhite couch.
Have you ever seen whitefurniture in a hotel?
Me neither.
It's very Diddy, isn't it?
(20:03):
She's angry.
She brings over a bunch ofclothes and basically tells Val,
I don't know why you live inhere.
You shouldn't be scurryingaround like a little mouse.
You need to have your husbandkicked out that house.
You need to be home where youbelong.
You're out here by yourself.
This is horrible.
She's having a really, reallyrough time being at home with
Gary.
She's like, we don't talk toeach other.
Every time I see him, my headstarts hurting.
(20:24):
I can't stand it, Val.
But Val says she just needs sometime to be alone.
Lily Mae says, Yeah, you andGreta Garbo, and look where that
got her.
I don't know what that means.
I looked it up.
I want to be alone.
I feel like I've heard that inOh my gosh, in Death Becomes
Her, right?
(20:44):
Somebody says that in the movie,but I didn't really.
Okay.
God, that's embarrassing.
30 plus years later, that's thethe woman who had the potion,
the main lady, was telling MerylStreep who her famous clients
were.
And she was like, Miss Avant tobe alone.
She's like, no, I had no.
I thought it was talking aboutJosh Ada Gabor up until 10
(21:08):
seconds ago.
So I don't know if it's in amovie or if she really.
I'm not gonna read that rightnow.
I'll read this after the fact.
Point is Lily Mae says, you needto get your life together, you
need to get on home, and youneed to get yourself a good
lawyer.
She's a total Karen, runs pastthis little old man, bursts into
(21:30):
this guy's office.
Are we am I supposed to knowhim?
She's acting like she's been incontact with him the whole time.
Something interesting justoccurred to me.
They didn't really make a bigfuss about Sid's death in it as
far as it being a crime.
But that's a that's that's whathappened.
Absolutely.
The brakes were cut.
I don't remember them ever sortof ever going back and digging
(21:53):
into that any deeper.
I guess they'll just pick it upthis season.
This dude whose name already is,she, I don't think she said his
name yet.
I forgot his name from theopening credits.
He looks like James Conn to me.
He looks like he's definitely inthat family.
And I don't know if he'ssupposed to be from New York.
This accent seems to be floatingin and out, but she big mad.
(22:14):
The mafioso types who killed Sidessentially were not tried for
murder.
It was for like moving cars orstolen property across state
lines, um, that kind of crap.
Stealing a car.
But not that she's pissedbecause she feels like because
Sid was not some big name, hewasn't this wealthy guy, she
(22:35):
didn't feel like this particularman did his job by bringing
enough evidence so that thesemen were in jail for murder.
He's trying to be a little bitcute about it.
She's pissed.
You're not funny at all, sir.
You're talking about he's gonnacall Lorenzo the little old man
she walked by.
She don't give a damn.
She wants a case reopened.
She's focused, she's pissed, andshe's right.
(22:59):
I'm glad they circled back tothis.
No, he didn't.
He asked her to dinner.
No, he didn't.
No, sir.
What kind of man?
She came in there and told youhow much you suck at doing your
job and how you didn't protectand serve.
Not a damn person.
You're like, okay, great.
You want red lobster?
All very stressful.
(23:20):
Karen goes home to work.
She's talking with Richard andher brother.
Her brother's like, you betterback all the hell the way up.
This is the mob.
That's Richard's whole thing.
He's like, listen, they havedirty money, they have people in
their pocket.
Absolutely, these guys weregonna get off.
You don't really want to messwith that.
Joe's like, back up.
Listen, if you keep playing withthese people, you're gonna be
(23:40):
sleeping with the bitches.
You're gonna be part of anoffering.
You're gonna be in cement bootsif you don't watch yourself.
She insists that Richard go andget the court transcripts.
Joe insists that if he triesthat, I'm gonna have to make
sure you're disbarred.
I thought he was disbarredanyway.
No, he wasn't disbarred, he wasjust fired, right?
Lord, this is intense andstressful.
And he's not wrong.
(24:01):
I'm kind of with Joe.
Joe acts like he's got somegambling debt.
If I didn't know no better, Ithink Joe might have been
dangled off of a few balconiesin his time.
Mm-mm.
You better listen to him, andshe's a New Yorker too.
But I get it, that's her man.
They need justice.
Joe's whole thing is listen, youand your family made it through
(24:22):
the year without your husband.
You don't really want any moreproblems.
She's like, I want justice.
Let me tell you something.
I may not know everything, but Ican comprehend body language,
tone.
(24:43):
And I can definitely decipherlanguage.
I know enough English andSpanish to know this ain't no
real Italian homeboy.
I am so proud of myself.
I managed to make it through theAbby and Gary scene.
But this fool speaking fakeItalian, baby, I have seen every
(25:03):
godfather, casino, Johnny Bra.
What is it?
Johnny Darko?
Johnny Bravo.
What's the one with Johnny Dub?
Donnie Bravo Donny Brasco.
You know what I'm saying.
Gangster Films is my team.
I know good and well you ain'tspeaking no Italian.
That's what I know.
You speaking it very raggedy.
I guess Karen was just sort ofhopped up because she saw in the
(25:26):
paper that the mafioso types gotoff without any real
consequences.
Dude asked her to dinner.
I didn't think she was gonnalook paying any attention.
I guess she had a change ofheart or she got hungry or
something.
They're sitting at therestaurant being passed over,
but it seems like they're havinga good time.
You know, it's small talk this,small talk that.
I'm from New York.
You're from New York, yeah.
Can't you tell by my accent?
(25:48):
So as the guy's walking by, thewaiter's doing his job, he's
doing the same job as thehostess, bringing people to and
from their tables.
Mr.
I forgot his name already, tapsthe dude on the shoulder.
He's like, hey, Paisan.
Uh skimmy dippy di Italian,Italiana, Italiano, table, uh,
food, food, food, italiano.
(26:08):
Boy bye.
Okay, he tried, he definitelysaid he tried to impress the
lady, and I know that because hesaid that in regular dagger
English.
Boy, you don't get somewhere andsit down.
Lily May has taken.
Oh, y'all remember the littleKlepto kid and the uh runaway
(26:30):
father?
Yeah.
Rusty and Cricket have made anappearance, and they are geeked,
apparently.
Lily May has been keeping touchwith them.
You know, they're allsoutherners from sporadic
places, so they're gonna have agood old country hoe down in the
middle of the woods.
They're riding a horse, they'rehaving a good time.
Val looks good.
Gary, okay, let me talk aboutGary.
(26:51):
Karen is on one, and I don'tblame her.
She's only letting him take anhour lunch because we know what
he does on his lunch break.
So by the end of the day, hejobs said, Horrump.
He goes to Abby's house,slinging his stupid empty
briefcase around the room.
She entices him with the shower.
Talking about how much he lovesit, he loves it.
What an ass.
So I guess they are separated.
(27:11):
Val said that from her ownmouth.
Nothing else left to do at thispoint, I suppose.
Let me see if Karen gets to eat.
Or if his super broken okay, Iknow what Spanglish is.
What would he what do you callfake Italian?
Yeah, if that works for him.
Y'all bear with me.
I will learn his nameeventually.
I thought she said McKinsey, butthen he called himself Matt, or
she just called him Matt.
(27:32):
This is my thing.
They're at dinner, she agreed togo.
Obviously, he's the detectivethat was working her husband's
case.
She's a grieving widow.
She don't want to come and talkabout where you grew up.
I mean, that's nice to know, butat the end of the day, this
ain't no date like that.
She came to eat and get theinformation.
Two things can be true at once,though.
(27:54):
Actually, many things can betrue at once.
Matt is hot.
He's good looking.
Apparently, he is of Irish andScottish descent.
I'm pretty sure he used someslurs after that.
I'm not even gonna go there, butapparently he had a rough time
growing up on the mean streetsof New York.
I wonder if he had that littlefro his whole life.
I'm not mad at it.
It looks good.
(28:14):
It don't look like it's permrods.
I think it's natural, by theway, it's sitting upon his head.
Never mind that.
We're not talking about thatnow, are we?
We're talking about he andKaren.
So he's clearly into her, right?
But she's curious about Sid inthis case.
And the whole gist of this sceneis he wants to date.
She wants information, but thenshe kind of wants to date.
(28:35):
So there's this sort of pulled,this tug-of-war thing going on.
He has come to the conclusionthat the bohos who had Sid
killed weren't really trying tokill him.
Karen and I are like, wait aminute, wait a minute, wait a
minute.
Why do you cut brakes on a carif you're not trying to kill
anybody?
He says, I understand that, butI'm a detective.
(28:55):
If you want someone dead andyou're in the mob, why not just
shoot them?
Why not just you know what I'msaying?
You would kill, they haveassassins for a reason.
She's like, Okay, yeah, you'reright.
Well, what do you think theywere doing?
He said they probably justwanted to scare him, and it went
too far.
She goes, That doesn't make anysense.
It didn't scare Easley.
Why not just rough him up orwhatever?
(29:17):
He was like, I don't know.
I don't know what happened.
It doesn't even feel like themob was really doing this.
This to me seems like aninexperienced person.
Some kid probably tampered withthe brakes and released all the
brake fluid, and then just youknow, it things spun out of
control.
They were not expecting yourhusband to die.
That's his whole take.
So I'm thinking back, and Icould have sworn it was there
(29:37):
was definitely a grown man inthere.
So now the seed has at leastbeen planted that it was
somebody in obviously.
Well, let me think about this.
She would have already knownthat the brakes were cut.
More than likely, they were cutin the shop.
The thing is, if I recall right,that wasn't even Sid's car.
(29:58):
He was test driving a car.
For one of his customers.
So the dude who we saw do it, orwith the one we think did it,
obviously knew he was gonna getin that car.
That's Matt's whole thing.
They just paid somebody to dosomething.
So he's driving her home in hiswagon here.
I totally recognize that car.
I love the new ones.
And it is raggedy.
It is making all sorts of noise.
(30:18):
She knows exactly what's wrongwith it.
Why don't you bring it by theshop?
My mechanic will hook you up.
He ends up giving her a hugebox, a huge file box of the
court transcripts.
This is about to set Joe off.
I just know it.
She gets so excited, she kisseshim on each cheek.
He goes, Hey, I didn't thinknice girls kissed on the first
(30:39):
date.
She said, That wasn't no kiss.
He said, I know, and it grabbedher up.
Is this Karen's boosky?
I'm not gonna lie, he's hot.
As he was talking in therestaurant, I was like, I kind
of like his face.
And the fact that he's in theopening credits, well, he's
here, but if it mmm McKenzie.
(31:02):
Is she calling the Mac then?
I just thought about that.
Is it Mac or Matt?
I don't remember what his firstname is.
His name could be MatthewMcKenzie.
So I'm gonna say his name isMatt until I learn otherwise.
But she kissy kissy boo-boo.
That doesn't surprise me becauseshe had many suitors last
season.
Despite not really wanting adate.
(31:24):
No, remember she she almostmoved to Houston with that
engineer type.
Karen still got it.
Oh my god.
That was a good kiss.
She got her mouth agape.
He tells her when he's done, hesays, finish with that and I'll
give you the rest.
And she like, what?
(31:47):
The transcripts.
Sure, sure you will, Curly.
Uh-huh.
All right, Carrie.
I mean, I'm saying, is this aconflict of interest, though?
That was my whole point of goingon describing this.
This doesn't seem like a goodmatch.
If it's almost too personalbecause if this, if this doesn't
(32:14):
the relationship that is, ifthat doesn't turn into some sort
of conviction for these peoplewho definitely killed Sid,
whether it was an accident ornot, that's gonna be a place of
resentment, I would think, inthe middle of a relationship.
This don't seem relationshipy,but it seemed like she's gonna
have a good time.
I also had the thought when hewas sitting at that table, he
seems like the type of characteryou would kill at some point.
(32:36):
I'm sorry, he just does.
It could be cut, it could bebecause I'm thinking of Mac
Namera.
I used to love watching me andmy friend Janessa.
We used to watch um New YorkUndercover.
Baby.
I remember when MacNamera cameand I think he ended up being
tortured or something.
This guy, maybe it's that he's acop, but he definitely gives I'm
going to be kidnapped at somepoint vibes, or I will be um
(33:01):
shot at some point.
Yeah, for sure.
He gives a vibe.
Plus, I think in some TV series,it's always the guy who he's not
necessarily foreign, but he'snot from wherever the other
people are.
Those people tend to beexpendable.
MacNamara was definitely likethat.
He was one of the later castswho came on and then they got
(33:21):
rid of him really quick.
I think that's what I'mthinking.
Plus, it's a cop.
You can never have more than onecop on a show ever.
Something's gonna happen.
I just talked all that ish, butyou know what?
This is this is the thought andthe musing of a TV kid who grew
up into a woman.
I'm telling you, he gives thatvibe off, but I really hope they
(33:44):
don't.
He just showed up at Karen'splace of business.
He's got the chesticles out.
I see that furry chest he'sgiving Chase Gier Bertie.
At high noon, she went on andinvited him over for dinner.
But I like the back and forthbetween them.
We hadn't seen anybody matchwits with her in a minute.
(34:06):
Oh god.
Okay, you know what?
It just hit me too.
He kind of reminds me of Sid inthe tone and texture of their
voices.
But he's he's hot.
I think I like him.
I think I like his personality.
I hope he doesn't get run overanytime soon.
Also, I don't know if the dudeworking on his car is the one
who cut the brakes.
Dang.
(34:26):
I had to avoid, I didn't go backand watch the end of season two,
and I avoided the first fewepisodes of this of season
three.
Didn't go through that again.
Also, Lily Mae is madscandalous.
So she ends up leaving at thecrack of dawn, I suppose, before
Cricket even goes to school.
She leaves Val stranded outthere at Dusty or Rusty's house,
(34:46):
but he ends up talking her intostaying.
She's like, listen, you and Mamadon't understand.
The last thing I need in my liferight now is and Rusty say, Hold
on, hold on, hold on, hold on,sweetheart.
Let me stop you right there.
Don't flatter yourself.
I didn't say nothing abouthooking up.
I said you can stay here.
You're not fooling anybody,Rusty.
I see ya.
Everybody wants a piece of theVidalia onion queen.
(35:08):
Even her loser X, apparently.
Or maybe he just wants to.
Let me shut up.
Let me just watch it.
I feel like Gary just wants tosay something to her face.
Just fire, she just fired Gary.
Oh, she looks pleased withherself.
Okay, plot twist.
Didn't see that coming.
She saw Gary across the aftershe put her boo, her new boo, or
her new friend, I don't know,put him in the car.
She looks across the way andGary is with this couple.
(35:30):
She's like, hey, come here,where you been?
I thought she was gonna ask him,hey, do you remember the
mechanic that was blah blahblowing?
I understand she's pissed and Ifeel the same way.
Trust me, I do.
But we need to get some evidenceand some information.
But she's like, Where was you?
You didn't ask me if you couldgo.
He's like, Listen, I'm a fullgrown man.
If I'm not doing my job, youneed to say something to me
immediately.
You need to let me know rightnow.
(35:51):
And if you don't like it, fireme.
My personal life is my personallife.
If I'm not doing my job, that'sone thing.
But if you don't like what I'mdoing in my personal life,
that's your business.
Fire me.
He walks off.
She lets him get good and acrossthe way with his super tight
jeans.
And she says, Oh, Gary, you'refired.
I figured it would tear apartthe friend group for sure.
(36:12):
I'm okay.
You gotta do what you gotta do.
I mean, if he cares about sinand you can get information out
of him, it'll come out.
But yeah, there had to be a linedrawn in the sand.
I knew it at some point.
It's still so awkward though.
So he's gonna just sleep at hisown house and go back and forth.
Oh no.
No, no, no, no.
So, okay.
(36:33):
Unfortunately, even though itfelt amazing, I can tell by the
look on Karen's face to fireGary.
That freed him up for the restof the day.
He goes home to wash the day offof him while Lily Mae makes it
back to town.
She hears a phone ring and shehurries up.
She's trying to hustle in thehouse.
She picks it up and it's Joe.
Joe's still looking for Val.
(36:55):
She's like, Are you at home?
He said, No, I'm not at home.
She goes, Well, Val's probablytrying to reach you at home.
She's not at the motel anymore.
She is uh she's with Rusty andCricket.
He goes, Well, where does whatdoes that mean?
She's with Rusty and Cricket.
Where is that at?
She goes, Oh, he has a ranch inVentura.
Gary is upstairs, ear hustlingon the other line.
He picked it up.
(37:15):
She didn't hear the click.
So he's listening to the wholeconversation, sopping wet, by
the way, in a towel.
We get it.
We get it.
She's just about to give Rustythe phone.
I mean, Joe the phone number.
Dang it.
Dang it.
Oh my god.
My heart's beating up out of mychest.
Oh my gosh.
That was most satisfying twominutes of the show I've ever
(37:38):
seen in my life.
Gary knows where she's at.
He comes rolling up.
Dusty, Rusty, Usty.
Here's something outside.
He said, You looking for yourmama?
No, I'm not expecting my mama.
Somebody's here to see you.
Val runs to the window.
She sees it is Gary in the leanmean driving machine.
He hops out.
He's talking mad, reckless.
He's loud.
Vitalia, come outside.
(37:59):
Natalia.
Rusty's at the door.
She don't want to talk to you,homeboy.
Let me in.
I'm not letting you in my house.
Well, I'm gonna kick the doordown.
So he starts kicking, he startsdestroying property.
Private property.
Rusty's like, oh no, no, no, no,no.
You ain't gonna break my stuff.
I'm like, you know how far I amfrom Home Depot?
So he opens the door and he'slike, act for what?
Do something.
(38:19):
Gary don't give a damn.
Gary's got on JR's safarijacket.
He sees his wife.
You are my wife.
Ain't no way you're gonna beshacked up with this man.
Can you believe the absolutegoal and audacity?
He says this with his wholechest.
Let me breathe.
I'm sorry.
I'm excited.
I'm sorry.
I'm excited.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm excited.
Okay.
That's like I ain't goingnowhere for you.
I'm your wife.
(38:40):
Your wife?
Oh, that's cute.
That's rich.
You can stay at the BeverlyHills Hotel.
You're now standing hereshacking up with this man.
Rusty's like, listen, you don'twant no problems now.
The funniest part to me aboutthis whole thing is that Cricket
was on, she was on the couch.
They were just singing that youswallow the bird to catch that
spider song I was talking abouta couple weeks ago.
Cricket jumps up with herguitar.
She looked like she went toshits to me.
(39:02):
Like she was ready to step in ifneed be.
She's raised by a full-grownman.
You feel me?
Well, she don't get theopportunity.
Gary starts, you know, poppingoff a little too much.
Rusty does not appreciate theway he is pawing at his homegirl
Valen, the Vidalia Onion Queen.
They go way back.
(39:22):
So he said, All right, bruh, onemore again.
You got one more game to touchthis woman.
That's all it takes.
Gary's like, I want some.
And what?
He starts swinging.
Rusty is with the itch.
I recall from his episode, nowthat I'm breathing a little bit
more, that he was a golden glovefighter at some point, right?
Yeah, he's got that form.
He's got them hands.
(39:46):
And he generously bestows themall over Gary Ewing's pretty
little North Texas face.
Well, they get to go on.
Now I don't mean to make itsound like Gary wouldn't hold in
his own.
Uh turd kicker to turd kicker.
It was pretty impressive, butnot as impressive as it needed
to be.
He was he was swinging here, hewas swinging there.
He tagged Gary about six timesin the face.
(40:08):
Gary's like, oh no, hell no.
He started hitting him in thekidneys.
Valena Vidalia Queen got tossedlike onion rings twice across
the floor.
Bam! She slammed to the couch.
Bam, she slammed to the couch.
I was worried because she'sawfully thin.
I'm like, oh, they don't crackher ribs.
Crickets hollering, y'all stop,y'all stop.
Actually, she's hollering atRusty because she knows Rusty
(40:29):
has hands.
And there might be a body or twoburied on that there ranch.
Gary, North Texas, you and getsa good one in.
It hurts.
It makes uh Rusty stumble andtumble and fall into the
fireplace a little bit.
And he's like, Oh, okay, okay.
I'm tired of playing with you.
So he reaches for one of thepokers.
He's like, I'm gonna kill you,none.
I'm gonna kill you.
Doline's like, oh shit.
(40:51):
She jumps in front of him.
I thought she was gonna jump infront of Gary.
Now she jumps in front of Rustyand she says, Gary, don't now
get.
That's as far as I got before Ispouse out.
I'm so sorry, y'all.
Okay, I'm sorry.
That's before I this far as Igot before I freaked out.
The most exhilarating twominutes of television I've ever
seen.
Well, for this show.
(41:16):
Okay, there's only about 10minutes left of the show, but I
okay.
That was a lot.
And no, okay.
Sorry guys, let me get mythoughts together.
Gary makes it home.
He is battered, he is bruised,and excuse me.
He makes it to Abby's house.
He parks in her driveway.
He is quite comfortable doingso.
(41:37):
He walks in.
She gets a good look at him.
She says, Did Val do that or didRusty?
He wants to know how she knewwhere he was.
She said she thought he was atwork.
Turns out he wasn't.
She called the house, his housewith his wife.
Lily Mae was all too happy tolet Abby know that Val got her a
(41:57):
real man, and he's so muchbetter than the trash she shares
her bed with.
Lily Mae couldn't wait to tellit.
Gary starts that huffy puffystuff he gets to pull with
Valen, but Abby says, Oh no, no,no, no, no, no, no, no.
I ain't doing all that.
He says, He will, he, I'm goingto bed.
He turns like he's gonna goupstairs.
She says, Oh, but wait, hold on,sir.
Your bed is across the street.
(42:18):
As in, you said this was me andyou for real, for real.
I'm I don't do halfway nothing.
I hate that I respect her somuch in this moment because
she's not wrong.
I I feel you.
You're gonna make up your mind.
You're not gonna uh play in andout, in and out.
Like when we were little, my dadused to holler through the door
if the you know we got the ACtemperature just right in the
house.
And if you answer the door,don't leave it, it'll be close
(42:40):
the door.
You're like not all the coolair.
Abby said, You better pick ahouse, you better pick a door.
You're gonna stay in or you'regonna stay out, period.
100% or nothing.
This fool says to her, 100% ofnothing is nothing.
She's like, What are you talkingabout?
Don't start all that self-pityand stuff.
(43:00):
She thinks he's and I did too.
I was like, what the hell is hetalking about?
She thinks he's being a wimp.
But he says, I'm about to comeinto a lot of money right now.
I'm about to come into a lot ofmoney soon.
To which Abby replies, the ewingmillions will be old and gray
before we see any of that money.
To which Gary replies, No.
(43:21):
I got a call from Bobby thismorning.
Mama is ready to hear the will.
Okay, guys.
Now I've everybody's told me I'mI'm cool to keep watching this.
It's not finna interfere withnothing.
He's in there about to read thewill.
Abby says, Are you even in it?
Gary says, I'm definitely in it.
I just don't know for how much.
(43:41):
My daddy didn't trust me onaccount of him being a drunkard
and a runoffer, you know whatI'm saying?
But he loved Val.
He called Val Gary's anchor.
So Gary wants to make sure thathis inheritance isn't contingent
on his relationship with Valen.
So now I'm I'm confused.
I'm a little bit apprehensive,but most of all, I'm a little
(44:05):
bit pissed.
Is that why he's chasing afterher?
Is that what it is?
Is he trying to make good justso he can get whatever he needs
to get?
That's why he's all bucking inKaren's space.
Now, I'm not saying he was wrongbecause she was, I get that.
You're a grown man.
If you don't want to work undersomeone's thumb, then by all
means, don't do it.
But he knew he's coming intosome money, though.
(44:27):
So he's you know what I'msaying?
Is this what he's being soreckless?
Because he knows his financialuh security is coming?
What a douche.
I never looked at Gary as likethe money grubbing type, and I
don't know if he is, but thefact that that's what he's using
to soothe Abby's nerves isreally obnoxious.
And also, I'm a little bitconcerned about watching the
(44:48):
next few episodes of this.
Because there's no way he wouldjust say that for no reason.
So there's probably gonna be acontingency.
Golly, mama's not ready.
Okay.
I mean, I guess it doesn't spoilanything because we that
wouldn't have been a plotsurprise anyway, because I
already knew that Jim Davis wasgone.
Okay, wow, interesting.
(45:10):
Anyway, he goes on to say, youkeep tripping, basically.
I'll walk out that door.
I won't go, I won't go to Valen,but I certainly won't come back
here either.
So it seems like he has all butmade up his mind.
There ain't gonna be anyreconciliation.
He wants out with Val.
Dang, then why'd you go up thereand get beat down?
(45:31):
Ugh, this is a confusing time.
This is weird.
Who is Wayne?
Wayne is okay, Karen's.
We're back at Karen's business.
She's trying to replace Gary.
She calls in this mechanicWayne, and this dude is he has a
charisma of a wet towel.
He is giving absolutely nothing.
I'm actually physicallyexhausted as he speaks.
She's offering him, shebasically breaks it down and
(45:54):
says, Gary, don't work hereanymore.
He was doing sales and repairs.
That's too much.
I'm splitting up his duties.
So-and-so is going to takesales.
I'd like you to run the shop.
I'd like you to be over repairs.
He says with a straight face,Well, I don't know, Mrs.
Farragate.
All I know is cars.
You think?
(46:15):
Hey, Wayne, homeboy, do you knowwhat makes an incredible
mechanic at a car dealership?
Knowing cars.
I hope he's not.
Let me just relax.
Here's the thing.
I'm coming in this.
I'm all this show revs me up toomuch.
(46:35):
It really does.
I feel like I should probablywatch one part in the morning
and one part in the afternoon.
And give myself real worldthings to do in between.
Because now I'm now I'm I'mnervous about who's gonna be on
the show all the time.
This dude is giving nothing.
I swear he's gotta be thedirector's brother or nephew or
something.
(46:56):
All I know is cars.
Jesus.
I need some B12 after that.
I'm exhausted.
Perhaps I was a little harsh onWayne.
Wayne knows cars, he does notknow arithmetic, apparently, or
how to hold a conversation orhow to read a room or when to
leave.
He's Wayne definitely has a bodyin the trunk.
(47:16):
I promise you he does.
Okay, wow.
Wow.
That was a lot in 10 minutes.
Okay, um, now that my jaw is upoff the floor, I I'm literally,
I literally just push stopped.
It says executive producersMichael Fillerman and David
(47:38):
Jacobs.
Abby and Gary are in a warmembrace.
Literally just pushed off.
So much happened in the last 10minutes.
Wow.
Okay.
Number one, it irritates me tosee Gary play the family man
(48:01):
when I saw he and Abby in theirlittle blue station wagon with
Val's kids in the backseat.
Happy family, how cute.
I wonder how Lucy would feel.
I bet Lucy would have loved totake a trip to the beach with
her family.
Abby's a fool with it, though.
She is so soft for this man.
Because she does not strike meas somebody who lets anybody run
(48:22):
all over her.
But I could tell her details.
She is folding to his mood.
Y'all gonna have therelationship you deserve.
You are, quite frankly.
I'm not even that upset abouty'all no more.
But as he's coming home with hisnew family from the beach across
the street, we see Valen theVidalia Onion Queen in a uh
Sheeny brick red jumpsuit.
(48:43):
She is loading all his teens outthe house.
Walks over and he apologizes forbursting in on her and Rusty.
Like, I'm so sorry.
I really can't, I don't haveanything to say.
I have no right to interruptwhatever you got going on.
She's like, all right, cool.
He's like, are you moving allthis to Rusty's?
She's like, no, this is I'm not.
This is all the stuff that yourmama gave me.
(49:04):
This ain't my stuff.
This is your stuff.
You can do with it what youplease.
Put it in storage, burn it.
I really don't give a damn.
He gets so huffy, puffy, andangry that Gary Ewing doesn't
know how to use his big boywords.
He stomps across the street,jumps in Abby's baby blue
station wagon, and peels the Fout.
Leaving Abby to run out of herhouse, hollering after him.
(49:27):
I hope she understands what thisis.
It was very satisfying.
Her and um Val kind of lookedacross the street at each other.
They can't stand one another.
But then Abby had that look onher face.
So she spins on her heels, goesin her house real no, she didn't
spin on her heels.
She turned very slowly andwalked very slowly into her
house.
I hope.
(49:48):
I hope she sees what this is.
You feel like you're victoriousin this moment, but you don't
know who you're gonna have tobabysit for the next however
long.
It don't matter.
While he was gone, Abby laid onher bed and she collected her
thoughts.
And her thoughts led her toreview all of the things in her
arsenal and to strategize andmake a very calculated decision.
(50:13):
She pulls out an oversizedmanila envelope, she goes to her
closet, pulls out anold-fashioned suitcase, like a
box an old-fashioned suitcase,cracks that sum to open and tell
me why she has a copy ofCapricorn's.
She should not have that.
I don't know who her connect is,I don't know who her plug is.
She should not be able to havethat.
(50:34):
She might have the first copy,but she clearly has a revised
one.
So I'm like, who the hell is herconnect?
She sends this unpublishedmanuscript to J.R.
Ewing.
Now, this is real crappy becauseVal's been talking all episode
long.
The first six chapters of herbook are gonna be put into some
magazine.
So that needs to happen soonerrather than later.
(50:56):
Early spring.
The book isn't coming out untilChristmas, which leads me to
believe this is late winter,early spring, you know, around
Marchish.
Abby went ahead and sent themanuscript to JR in Texas.
Now, hopefully he doesn't openhis own mail, but this is so
balkfer.
We already know what's gonna godown.
He's gonna read that and wreakhavoc.
(51:16):
So I feel like they're about tocross over again.
Seems like they're gonna have tosince Jock died.
Karen had invited Matt over, andI saw him jumping in the front
yard.
I know an athlete when I see anathlete.
Quick aside, Karen's kids aregetting really big.
I can see it with Michael.
The middle boy looks the same,but Michael is his voice
starting to change.
He's getting big.
They're gonna have to figure outsomething with him pretty quick.
(51:39):
Olivia looks bigger too.
Olivia and the what's the babyboy?
Is it Brian?
Brian has no speaking lines.
I forget he's there half thetime, but he's bigger.
All the kids are getting big.
Once Matt's leaving, she's aboutto let Matt or McKenzie,
whatever his name is, out of thehouse.
They had a wonderful time.
The kids seem to like him.
He's telling her how beautifulher family is.
(51:59):
She's like, I know.
He said, Do you want me to bringover the rest of the transcript?
She says, Yes, I'm already oneight.
He told her he had 16 boxes.
Joe's witnessing all this, andhe's not very pleased.
He really doesn't want her todig into this.
So once Matt leaves, she Joestarts going in.
Her and Joe were having aconversation.
They're going back and forthabout you need to let this go.
(52:20):
I'm not gonna let this go.
I need to look into this, blah,blah, blah.
It's a freak accent.
Well, while they're doing it,it's kind of like a voiceover.
Weird Wayne.
I swear to you guys, I didn'tlook, I swear on my life, life,
everything.
I have not gone any further.
But Wayne is in his weirdapartment or his apartment, let
(52:41):
me not judge it.
He has a whole scrapbook of Sid.
Now, this kid, like I said, he'sgiving he's no personality.
It is a wet rag.
He's giving you absolutelynothing in the face, even when
he's alone.
So I'm jumping to conclusionsright off the bat, he is creepy.
They have portrayed, they wantme to think he's creepy.
He wasn't the one who cut thebrakes, though.
(53:01):
I know he wasn't.
I'm almost a hundred percentsure it was like a bigger,
gruffier guy.
It was not him.
I know it wasn't, but he has ascrapbook of Sid, and as we can
hear Joe and Karen arguing,going kind of back and forth,
he's flipping the pages.
It shows Sid died in a caraccident.
The DA has made some arrests,the DA um has to let these
(53:26):
people go.
Blah, blah, blah.
He's keeping tabs.
That's not too unusual since heworks at Not Sunny Motor.
Wayne is mad creepy.
So unfortunately, I thinkWayne's gonna stick around.
Wow.
Damn, I talked too much.
Now I'm like, what if he shootsMatt?
I'm gonna call him McKenzieuntil I know his government
naming.
(53:48):
Okay, needless to say, that wasgood.
That was fantastic.
Did not see Laura, did not seeKenny or baby two names or
gender, and that's fine with me.
A little bit of Richard, whoseems to be quite healthy,
actually.
Valen says she's keeping thehouse, as she should.
I forgot that part.
She and Lily May are sitting onfolding chairs in the house.
(54:08):
They're gonna go buy newfurniture.
With what money, I don't know,but I I would imagine Val keeps
the books in the family.
What a loser! He just bouncesaround from woman to woman.
Okay, whatever.
Whew.
I feel like I just ran amarathon.
Oh gosh.
Yeah, tens across the board.
(54:29):
Also, the music is is veryswelling.
They had like sinister music,they had these beautiful um
violins and such as they holdeach other.
I hope they're not.
I'm I'm very curious to those ofyou who were around during this.
Were they the new couple?
Were people excited about this?
I can see Abby being one ofthose people you love to hate,
but they are this is they'repushing romance on this so hard.
(54:52):
Oh my gosh.
Great show today, guys.
Wow.
I don't even really haveanything else to say, just wow.
Join me next time as we bearwitness to our final season
premiere.
Season five, episode one ofDynasty.
I am expecting a good time everytime, especially now that I'm
(55:15):
equipped with the knowledge thatthis is going to be the number
one show this particular season.
All right, y'all.
Stay hydrated, stay moisturized,don't run up and get done up to
your ex-wife's new booze ranch.
It is quite embarrassing to getbeat down in front of a child
(55:37):
who's named after a creaturewith an exoskeleton.
Stay moisturized.
Mind your business unless youdon't have to.
Oh my gosh, I don't even knowwhat I was saying.
Keep all of your drama on TV.
I need a drink.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
welcome or welcome back to StoneFloor, the official gathering
place for new leads novices andOG diehard fans of the Golden
Age of Prime Classic.
I'm your host, Jed, viewing andreviewing that season premiere
from the early 80s.
So whether you're new to this orthrough this, the back and
enjoy.
Don't use this time to playoutside or out of sight, so
(00:24):
there's no questions,suggestions, or concerns for the
next 25 to 45 minutes.
Everyone else in AirShot, youcan be cold, you can be quiet,
or you will be put out a wateron the door.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andknow this is open.
(00:57):
Hello, party people.
Welcome and welcome back toanother fun-filled edition of
Soap4.
We got two down, two to go onthe season premiere of vintage
primetime soap operay.
That sounds kind of funny tosay, but you know what I'm
saying.
It might be old news to you, butit's definitely new to me.
And baby, I have yet to bedisappointed.
(01:19):
We had a Who Done It right outthe gate on Dallas, and Falcon
Crest let us know that two ofour main characters are back.
They were not blown toSmithereens, but we got an
amnesiac and a long lost kiddo.
Season five is not playing withus, not even a little bit.
I am a little bit behind onrecording, so this is gonna be a
(01:42):
lot closer to real time.
And I have a very special pieceof information that I was
blessed with earlier this week.
I cannot wait to share it withyou.
So go ahead and pour yourself upsomething bubbly and bright.
Settle in as we decide whatwe're gonna watch, what I'm
gonna review, who we're gonnatalk crazy about.
You already know what it is.
(02:02):
Go ahead and get comfortable.
We got a lot of work to do.
This is actually perfect timing,and I'm so glad I didn't read
this before.
I got a very interesting, verycomical, very amusing piece of
commercial history, an iconicperformance than none other than
Connie.
(02:22):
What's Connie's last name?
Is it Giannini?
Yeah.
Connie Giannini on Falcon Crest.
She may be MIA for the timebeing.
Let Chase tell it.
She got in a car anddisappeared.
Which I guess that tracksbecause she just sort of flew in
to bury her mom, and then shewas bullied into making
champagne.
(02:44):
And then she fell in love withthe aviator Adonis.
I mean, I get it.
Maybe she's saving face, maybeshe's embarrassed.
Maybe the thought of his wifebeing blown to smithereens
turned her off.
I really don't know.
What else I didn't know?
Shout out to Bob.
Thank you so much for sendingthis to me.
I have cackled.
I've had a really good time.
I probably watched these or allthree of these, no less than six
(03:05):
times.
Uh Connie Giannini, aka CarlaBorrelli.
Okay, I'm just gonna read thissecond line.
Not sure if you know, but DonaldMay, the dude who played
Bradford Linton and CarlaBorelli, who played Connie, were
married in real life.
He died a few years ago whenthey were married up until his
death.
I believe they were alreadymarried by the time they were on
(03:27):
Falcon Crest.
I don't remember that.
And I even looked up that guy'sname.
I don't remember who that is, soI'll probably have to sit and
like actually watch the episodesall the way through.
Okay, uh, they both had beendaytime soap stars.
They met on the set of Texas,where she shined, and apparently
he didn't.
Here's a real C.
So apparently he was difficultto deal with on set, a full-on
(03:49):
diva.
He had been a pretty popularleading daytime soap star for
years on a show called The Edgeof Night, but left pretty
abruptly.
I think he probably thought hisdaytime cachet was gonna
translate into big things forhim.
You hear that a lot.
And it it seems to me, I don'tknow this guy's background.
I'm probably gonna look it upbefore I watch whatever show.
(04:10):
I feel like when when someone isuh when they take themselves
really seriously, which Irespect, you gotta do that.
Thespians seem to be the mostserious of actors.
Those in the full-on methodactors who usually come from the
stage.
I wonder if that's his wholebit.
And he was really fillinghimself, but you know what?
(04:32):
He may not have gotten thestardom he thought he was gonna
have, but he got a baddie as awife.
I'm just gonna read what Bobsays.
He says, if you were just a fewyears older, you'd also remember
Carla slash Connie from theubiquitous figurines commercials
that seem to never stop airing.
Okay.
When I read the word figurines,I'm literally thinking of those
(04:54):
precious moment littleknickknacks, those Totsky little
droopy-eyed figures that wereall there.
Sometimes they were praying,sometimes they were doing
different things.
I feel like I saw thoseeverywhere.
That was a staple in mychildhood, right next to the
crocheted dolls over tissue, themother goose with the little hat
on, or the bears with the weirdpattern, and then like the loony
(05:17):
tune shirt.
There's so many things that Istart to remember, but I had
never heard of this.
Figurines was apparently like adiet substitute cookie
thingamajig, like a replacementmill.
Do you remember when Special Kcame out with those little snack
packs and everybody wasstarving, but they thought they
were so cute?
It reminds me of like a slimfast.
But here's the thing (05:36):
it's made by Pillsbury, which you
immediately think, ooh, it'sgonna be ooey gooey and moist.
This looks dry as hell, butConnie Giannini is doing her
ting.
Listen.
SPEAKER_02 (05:48):
You can crunch out loud.
Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch,crunch.
They're the most unfighteredkind of diet lunch.
Figurines brand diet meals fromBluesberry.
When everyone is munching, youcan crunch along.
SPEAKER_04 (06:10):
Oh my god, it gets better.
Listen, you tell yourself whatyou need to tell yourself when
you're losing weight.
Sometimes it does help to keepyour mouth busy.
That one looked okay.
The other one I feel like was alittle more moist.
SPEAKER_00 (06:35):
Moist, greeny, delicious.
SPEAKER_04 (06:56):
She is taking revenge on all the Claire's and
beautiful things she didn't getto eat.
I love it.
Connie is killing it.
Here's the thing I'm noticingthough.
She has not changed that hair.
She likes a good old-fashionedtoddlers and tiara big hair.
But I mean it's 1976, so thattracks.
Thank you so much for sendingthat in.
(07:18):
That was amazing.
And when she breaks the littlecrunch bar in half, kind of
looks like a nutter butter.
Or no, what are the waffle,those little waffle things that
are covered in chocolate?
Sometimes they're pink.
We used to have them at Sundayschool with that battery acid
red punch that burned the toplayer of your tongue off.
It looks like one of those.
She snaps it in half, talkingabout it's it's moist in the
(07:39):
middle.
No, not at all.
Not at all.
All right, okay, that was a funlittle blast from the past.
Let's see what we're watchingtoday.
We're either getting down ondynasty or we're getting down on
Knott's Landing.
In order to keep this completelyblind, I have my lovely
(08:00):
assistant here who is going toreach into the cup and pull out
one of those.
Just pick one.
Thank you, dear.
SPEAKER_01 (08:12):
Do I say something now?
SPEAKER_04 (08:14):
If you want to, you can read it.
Just open it and let me know.
This is what I'm watching next.
SPEAKER_01 (08:20):
Not landing.
SPEAKER_04 (08:21):
Ah okay, that's kind of what I wanted.
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_01 (08:26):
No problem.
SPEAKER_04 (08:29):
Right off the bat, since it's not slanding, I
already know there's no way Ican do this in real time.
Y'all know how you know how Iget.
This show seems to get under myskin.
But I'm excited.
Oh my gosh.
Okay, there's this feelsmomentous from what you guys are
(08:49):
telling me.
This is when things really revup.
This is when it changes.
I fully believe you because I'malready a fan.
I'm already totally into it.
Even if they stayed exactly thesame for the next 10 years, I'd
be okay with it.
I just want to hold on to thismoment just a moment longer and
try to remember what I thinkabout the show before.
(09:10):
I thought it was good.
I like the camaraderie with theneighbors.
I'm fully expecting a hugefallout from the Abby slash Gary
get together.
Although I do think Val mightstick around with him just to
work it out.
Seems like you could really milkthe storyline if you wanted to.
You could absolutely makeeverybody's life miserable.
(09:31):
I I I'm imagining likedissension between the fan
group, fan group, the um, thethe neighbors.
I forget how many houses theyhave on the street, but I'm sure
somebody else is moving in.
Yeah, at some point we gottafold in a new neighbor.
I'm just realizing that it'sbeen three seasons.
There hasn't been any newneighbors.
We've had some outliers, so I Iwould imagine they're gonna do a
(09:54):
little bit more of that.
Unfortunately, we know Diana's.
I'm so upset about that.
I'm gonna have to let that go atsome point.
But dang, why isn't she atcollege?
She probably goes to UCLA.
I keep forgetting when you're ina large city like that.
Like, what's yeah, there's somany colleges to pick from.
She could go anywhere and behome that weekend.
Ugh, yeah.
(10:15):
Okay.
Oh, I just remembered one of youguys told me a long time ago
that they changed the see theopening credits every time.
So I am gonna watch that.
And I guess that'll tell me.
Well, maybe it will, maybe itwon't.
It might not tell me if there'snew characters because last
season they pulled the OG Dokeand they left Sid in there.
(10:35):
I'm not sure I would havenoticed if they didn't, but they
left him in for the openingcredits.
I'm sure of it.
All right, guys, let's figureout what this episode is called,
and I'm gonna jump in whole hog.
I'm gonna do my best.
I don't I don't know how this isgonna go.
I really don't.
Okay, I'm in a different room.
I just Googled, and I guess I'mon the official okay.
(10:56):
This is the officialnon-slanding website.
I see a fanned out p oh my god,this fool.
This is pissing me offimmediately.
It's a picture of Gary in themiddle.
Val has 80s hair, and she'swearing Maggie's dress from
Falcon Crest last season, andAbby's got a little bit of a
shorter haircut, fluffed out.
(11:17):
Let me just skip all this.
Season four, don't look ahead,don't look ahead.
Is it called a brand new day?
It says 54.
I'm gonna assume it's called abrand new day.
If I'm wrong, I'll correctmyself here in a minute.
Season four, episode one ofKnot's Landing, a brand new day.
So my lovely assistant helped meout.
I stepped outside the room whilethe little pre-part showed.
(11:40):
I did hear somebody say murder,so now I'm super curious, but I
am gonna watch the opening tosee who's who and what's what.
Okay, I hope this isn't tooloud.
Let's just see what we can do.
Oh, it seems like they changedthe theme song just a little
bit.
I don't mean to bore you guyswith this, I just really oh,
(12:02):
okay, Kevin Dobson.
Oh, he's cute.
He got a little fro andeverything.
He's real cute.
There go Lily Mae.
Oh, there's Kenny with gingerpeppered in.
Okay, yeah, I really didn'texpect them to go anywhere if
I'm being honest.
(12:25):
Wait, didn't they already showher this?
It says Michelle Lee now.
I guess it was just showing herface at the beginning.
I really should watch thesemore.
Okay, there's Abby.
Duh.
Richards, duh.
Yeah, I don't I don't expect tolose anybody.
Right.
Well, hell, I will never saythat again.
(12:47):
I just really wanted to see ifthey added a new person to the
top of the show, and it lookslike they did.
Oh, this dude's wearing like aleisure suit.
Okay, all right.
Okay, I'm gonna, I don't knowwhat I'm gonna do.
Let me just stop recording andlisten.
I guess they're giving us alittle bit of a flashback
(13:09):
because Abby and here are inbed.
Abby and Gary, of course, are inbed.
Yeah, this is a flashback.
Wow.
Oh wow.
Okay, you know they ain't evensaid a word on this yet.
We just saw Valen running downthe beach.
She looks so young.
I thought it was a teenager atfirst.
This bastard.
(13:30):
Just okay, so he got caught.
You know exactly what I'mtalking about.
He got caught at the friend'sapartment.
He chased his wife down thestreet.
Honey, listen to me, listen tome, listen to me.
Tell me why he woke up in Abby'sbed, had the balls to walk off
the street to his own houseafter he'd have made a fool of
his wife in front of everybody.
Well, I guess it wasn't in frontof everybody.
(13:52):
Wow.
He really slept.
You know what?
Okay, so I see where this isgoing immediately.
He for real slept at Abby'shouse.
You want your wife back so bad.
Or maybe he just wanted toexplain.
I don't know what he wants.
But you're gonna chase her downand then 20 minutes later, you
in somebody else's bed.
If I was Abby, there is no wayhe's getting my bed.
I don't know how many seconds weare into the show, but you know
(14:12):
how it goes.
I've already downed mynon-alcoholic champagne.
I'm gonna have to get a refill.
Should have bought anotherbottle, but I didn't.
Not only does this man chase hiswife in the dark of night, he
then goes to Abby's bed, decideshe's gonna wake up and go to his
own home and have a bowl of dryraisin bran cereal.
Lily Mae is ignoring him thewhole time.
(14:33):
She wished he would ask aquestion.
She's got her mouth fixed,perched, and fully ready to
curse him out.
He don't say nothing.
He just reads the paper, then hesort of drops it like he's cute
or something.
And she said, you know what?
Don't ask me nothing about mydaughter.
He definitely didn't ask hernothing about her daughter.
But she's like, if she wants toget a hold of you, she knows
(14:53):
where she can find you, at leastduring the day.
Only to have this man gooutside.
Abby sends her kids off withDiana.
Diana's got a real cool car,too, by the way.
I've never seen that.
So maybe she just got it lastnight.
When Abby comes out of thehouse, why is he just he's
smiling like she's a ray ofsunshine?
Make up your mind, sir.
If you're going to stay there inall the boldness with it, you
(15:16):
know, in front of God andeverybody, move all the way in.
You don't get to come home andhave raisin bran cereal.
You don't get to eat of mysupplies and then go back
somewhere else.
And she a fool, too.
She a big fool smiling in hisface.
She didn't have nothing to sayto him.
So apparently, Val has been gonefor three weeks.
It's not the next day.
So is this fool sleeping at herhouse every night?
(15:39):
I guess we'll get around tothat.
Joe's back, and Joe is feelinghimself, or he's feeling the
pressure.
Val's book is apparently aboutto go into print.
He's on the phone talking to Godknows who.
They're like, Where's your girl?
She needs to be out herepromoting this book.
Lily Mae knows exactly where sheis, but she's keeping mom.
She's saying, not a damn thing.
She just put a hot plate and afew other bags of things in the
(16:01):
car.
Joe accost her.
He's like, Yo, you need to tellyour daughter to get back here.
I don't care about her personallife.
I'm her editor.
Tell her to get to work.
Joe, calm down, baby.
Please have a seat.
She don't give a damn about thatbook right now.
I wish she would add some morechapters, but I had to stop and
press play or press recordbecause Lily Mae is driving in
LA.
God, I love how old this looks.
It's just beautiful to me.
(16:22):
I love film from like the 60sand 70s, and this feels very
70s-ish, even though it's veryearly 80s.
So it's that residue.
That's not the point, though.
She pulls up to the Bates Motel.
I kid you not.
You know the first thing youthink of is, of course, Psycho.
I had recently started watchingthe Ryan Murphy American Crime.
Ryan Murphy is a little bitintense for me when he does
(16:44):
horror.
Like I love American HorrorStory because it's a good story,
but I can only do him once ayear.
I feel like he's so gory.
You know how I feel abouthorror.
But he puts together a very goodstory.
American Crime, they've done OJ,they did the Menendez Brothers
last time.
This one is about this guy fromthe 40s.
They're calling him a serialkiller killer.
(17:04):
I have not got to the pointwhere he's actually killing more
than one person.
He's only killed one person atthis point.
He likes to dig up corpses.
Super gross, right?
When you see that story, you'relike, okay, I can see why Psycho
was influenced by this.
Now I don't remember if it was abook first or if Hitchcock was
just sort of inspired by thisparticular story.
Keep that in mind.
(17:25):
Norman Bates, Norman Bates,Norman Bates.
I got curious as I'm watchingthe show, because this lady on
TikTok, she has a YouTubechannel as well.
Her name is Nick, the Kermitversion, is like in parentheses.
She does film noir reviews orjust sort of breaks it down for
you.
She's a lot of fun.
She's hilarious.
But she has so much knowledgeabout these old films and the
(17:48):
studio systems, etc.
She's super into Hitchcock.
So I had remembered a few thingsshe said, and one of them was
like how hot this guy who playedNorman Bates was.
So I got curious as to what hedid after the film because at
the point I'm watching now, thefilm is very controversial.
They had the first viewing andpeople were vomiting and stuff.
(18:10):
They weren't used to the gorewe're used to today.
Seems like he was typecast for alittle bit after that.
This movie's what, early 60s?
Yeah, he plays this role.
He gets this really big buzz,but then it never really takes
off.
He has a few other films, and hewas dating, I think his name is
Tab Hunter for a while.
I saw Tab Hunter's documentaryyears and years ago.
(18:32):
I remember parts of it, and Ivaguely remember him, but I
didn't put two and two togetherfor some reason.
I guess it's been too long.
Anyway, that was his boo formany, many years.
I guess they have some sort offallen out and never really
fully hooked back up ever again.
But that's not the point I'mtrying to make.
The T about this whole situationis Mr.
Norman Bates had his first everlady experience with none other
(18:58):
than our girl, Pamela FreakingEwing.
Yes, allegedly him and PamelaFreaking Ewing, aka Victoria
Principal, hooked up together onthis Western.
It was either a series or amovie.
They used to hook up in betweentakes and whatnot.
Just FYI, the next time you seePsycho, keep that in mind.
(19:19):
I just looked it up.
It's the Life and Times of JudgeRoy Bean.
And here's the kicker.
His ex was in the movie too.
Woo.
Back to Nod Landing.
Lily May is hauling stuff upthese stairs.
And she ain't no better than aman.
She sees a young strappinggentleman in a pair of barely
there shorts.
Not her stopping and staringlike, dang, she didn't even care
(19:42):
that his girl was there.
Yeah.
Lily Mae is Abby.
Abby is Lily May.
Lily Mae is good and pissed.
She's not too keen about Valenbeing hauled up in this hotel
motel holiday in room with awhite couch.
Have you ever seen whitefurniture in a hotel?
Me neither.
It's very Diddy, isn't it?
(20:03):
She's angry.
She brings over a bunch ofclothes and basically tells Val,
I don't know why you live inhere.
You shouldn't be scurryingaround like a little mouse.
You need to have your husbandkicked out that house.
You need to be home where youbelong.
You're out here by yourself.
This is horrible.
She's having a really, reallyrough time being at home with
Gary.
She's like, we don't talk toeach other.
Every time I see him, my headstarts hurting.
(20:24):
I can't stand it, Val.
But Val says she just needs sometime to be alone.
Lily Mae says, Yeah, you andGreta Garbo, and look where that
got her.
I don't know what that means.
I looked it up.
I want to be alone.
I feel like I've heard that inOh my gosh, in Death Becomes
Her, right?
(20:44):
Somebody says that in the movie,but I didn't really.
Okay.
God, that's embarrassing.
30 plus years later, that's thethe woman who had the potion,
the main lady, was telling MerylStreep who her famous clients
were.
And she was like, Miss Avant tobe alone.
She's like, no, I had no.
I thought it was talking aboutJosh Ada Gabor up until 10
(21:08):
seconds ago.
So I don't know if it's in amovie or if she really.
I'm not gonna read that rightnow.
I'll read this after the fact.
Point is Lily Mae says, you needto get your life together, you
need to get on home, and youneed to get yourself a good
lawyer.
She's a total Karen, runs pastthis little old man, bursts into
(21:30):
this guy's office.
Are we am I supposed to knowhim?
She's acting like she's been incontact with him the whole time.
Something interesting justoccurred to me.
They didn't really make a bigfuss about Sid's death in it as
far as it being a crime.
But that's a that's that's whathappened.
Absolutely.
The brakes were cut.
I don't remember them ever sortof ever going back and digging
(21:53):
into that any deeper.
I guess they'll just pick it upthis season.
This dude whose name already is,she, I don't think she said his
name yet.
I forgot his name from theopening credits.
He looks like James Conn to me.
He looks like he's definitely inthat family.
And I don't know if he'ssupposed to be from New York.
This accent seems to be floatingin and out, but she big mad.
(22:14):
The mafioso types who killed Sidessentially were not tried for
murder.
It was for like moving cars orstolen property across state
lines, um, that kind of crap.
Stealing a car.
But not that she's pissedbecause she feels like because
Sid was not some big name, hewasn't this wealthy guy, she
(22:35):
didn't feel like this particularman did his job by bringing
enough evidence so that thesemen were in jail for murder.
He's trying to be a little bitcute about it.
She's pissed.
You're not funny at all, sir.
You're talking about he's gonnacall Lorenzo the little old man
she walked by.
She don't give a damn.
She wants a case reopened.
She's focused, she's pissed, andshe's right.
(22:59):
I'm glad they circled back tothis.
No, he didn't.
He asked her to dinner.
No, he didn't.
No, sir.
What kind of man?
She came in there and told youhow much you suck at doing your
job and how you didn't protectand serve.
Not a damn person.
You're like, okay, great.
You want red lobster?
All very stressful.
(23:20):
Karen goes home to work.
She's talking with Richard andher brother.
Her brother's like, you betterback all the hell the way up.
This is the mob.
That's Richard's whole thing.
He's like, listen, they havedirty money, they have people in
their pocket.
Absolutely, these guys weregonna get off.
You don't really want to messwith that.
Joe's like, back up.
Listen, if you keep playing withthese people, you're gonna be
(23:40):
sleeping with the bitches.
You're gonna be part of anoffering.
You're gonna be in cement bootsif you don't watch yourself.
She insists that Richard go andget the court transcripts.
Joe insists that if he triesthat, I'm gonna have to make
sure you're disbarred.
I thought he was disbarredanyway.
No, he wasn't disbarred, he wasjust fired, right?
Lord, this is intense andstressful.
And he's not wrong.
(24:01):
I'm kind of with Joe.
Joe acts like he's got somegambling debt.
If I didn't know no better, Ithink Joe might have been
dangled off of a few balconiesin his time.
Mm-mm.
You better listen to him, andshe's a New Yorker too.
But I get it, that's her man.
They need justice.
Joe's whole thing is listen, youand your family made it through
(24:22):
the year without your husband.
You don't really want any moreproblems.
She's like, I want justice.
Let me tell you something.
I may not know everything, but Ican comprehend body language,
tone.
(24:43):
And I can definitely decipherlanguage.
I know enough English andSpanish to know this ain't no
real Italian homeboy.
I am so proud of myself.
I managed to make it through theAbby and Gary scene.
But this fool speaking fakeItalian, baby, I have seen every
(25:03):
godfather, casino, Johnny Bra.
What is it?
Johnny Darko?
Johnny Bravo.
What's the one with Johnny Dub?
Donnie Bravo Donny Brasco.
You know what I'm saying.
Gangster Films is my team.
I know good and well you ain'tspeaking no Italian.
That's what I know.
You speaking it very raggedy.
I guess Karen was just sort ofhopped up because she saw in the
(25:26):
paper that the mafioso types gotoff without any real
consequences.
Dude asked her to dinner.
I didn't think she was gonnalook paying any attention.
I guess she had a change ofheart or she got hungry or
something.
They're sitting at therestaurant being passed over,
but it seems like they're havinga good time.
You know, it's small talk this,small talk that.
I'm from New York.
You're from New York, yeah.
Can't you tell by my accent?
(25:48):
So as the guy's walking by, thewaiter's doing his job, he's
doing the same job as thehostess, bringing people to and
from their tables.
Mr.
I forgot his name already, tapsthe dude on the shoulder.
He's like, hey, Paisan.
Uh skimmy dippy di Italian,Italiana, Italiano, table, uh,
food, food, food, italiano.
(26:08):
Boy bye.
Okay, he tried, he definitelysaid he tried to impress the
lady, and I know that because hesaid that in regular dagger
English.
Boy, you don't get somewhere andsit down.
Lily May has taken.
Oh, y'all remember the littleKlepto kid and the uh runaway
(26:30):
father?
Yeah.
Rusty and Cricket have made anappearance, and they are geeked,
apparently.
Lily May has been keeping touchwith them.
You know, they're allsoutherners from sporadic
places, so they're gonna have agood old country hoe down in the
middle of the woods.
They're riding a horse, they'rehaving a good time.
Val looks good.
Gary, okay, let me talk aboutGary.
(26:51):
Karen is on one, and I don'tblame her.
She's only letting him take anhour lunch because we know what
he does on his lunch break.
So by the end of the day, hejobs said, Horrump.
He goes to Abby's house,slinging his stupid empty
briefcase around the room.
She entices him with the shower.
Talking about how much he lovesit, he loves it.
What an ass.
So I guess they are separated.
(27:11):
Val said that from her ownmouth.
Nothing else left to do at thispoint, I suppose.
Let me see if Karen gets to eat.
Or if his super broken okay, Iknow what Spanglish is.
What would he what do you callfake Italian?
Yeah, if that works for him.
Y'all bear with me.
I will learn his nameeventually.
I thought she said McKinsey, butthen he called himself Matt, or
she just called him Matt.
(27:32):
This is my thing.
They're at dinner, she agreed togo.
Obviously, he's the detectivethat was working her husband's
case.
She's a grieving widow.
She don't want to come and talkabout where you grew up.
I mean, that's nice to know, butat the end of the day, this
ain't no date like that.
She came to eat and get theinformation.
Two things can be true at once,though.
(27:54):
Actually, many things can betrue at once.
Matt is hot.
He's good looking.
Apparently, he is of Irish andScottish descent.
I'm pretty sure he used someslurs after that.
I'm not even gonna go there, butapparently he had a rough time
growing up on the mean streetsof New York.
I wonder if he had that littlefro his whole life.
I'm not mad at it.
It looks good.
(28:14):
It don't look like it's permrods.
I think it's natural, by theway, it's sitting upon his head.
Never mind that.
We're not talking about thatnow, are we?
We're talking about he andKaren.
So he's clearly into her, right?
But she's curious about Sid inthis case.
And the whole gist of this sceneis he wants to date.
She wants information, but thenshe kind of wants to date.
(28:35):
So there's this sort of pulled,this tug-of-war thing going on.
He has come to the conclusionthat the bohos who had Sid
killed weren't really trying tokill him.
Karen and I are like, wait aminute, wait a minute, wait a
minute.
Why do you cut brakes on a carif you're not trying to kill
anybody?
He says, I understand that, butI'm a detective.
(28:55):
If you want someone dead andyou're in the mob, why not just
shoot them?
Why not just you know what I'msaying?
You would kill, they haveassassins for a reason.
She's like, Okay, yeah, you'reright.
Well, what do you think theywere doing?
He said they probably justwanted to scare him, and it went
too far.
She goes, That doesn't make anysense.
It didn't scare Easley.
Why not just rough him up orwhatever?
(29:17):
He was like, I don't know.
I don't know what happened.
It doesn't even feel like themob was really doing this.
This to me seems like aninexperienced person.
Some kid probably tampered withthe brakes and released all the
brake fluid, and then just youknow, it things spun out of
control.
They were not expecting yourhusband to die.
That's his whole take.
So I'm thinking back, and Icould have sworn it was there
(29:37):
was definitely a grown man inthere.
So now the seed has at leastbeen planted that it was
somebody in obviously.
Well, let me think about this.
She would have already knownthat the brakes were cut.
More than likely, they were cutin the shop.
The thing is, if I recall right,that wasn't even Sid's car.
(29:58):
He was test driving a car.
For one of his customers.
So the dude who we saw do it, orwith the one we think did it,
obviously knew he was gonna getin that car.
That's Matt's whole thing.
They just paid somebody to dosomething.
So he's driving her home in hiswagon here.
I totally recognize that car.
I love the new ones.
And it is raggedy.
It is making all sorts of noise.
(30:18):
She knows exactly what's wrongwith it.
Why don't you bring it by theshop?
My mechanic will hook you up.
He ends up giving her a hugebox, a huge file box of the
court transcripts.
This is about to set Joe off.
I just know it.
She gets so excited, she kisseshim on each cheek.
He goes, Hey, I didn't thinknice girls kissed on the first
(30:39):
date.
She said, That wasn't no kiss.
He said, I know, and it grabbedher up.
Is this Karen's boosky?
I'm not gonna lie, he's hot.
As he was talking in therestaurant, I was like, I kind
of like his face.
And the fact that he's in theopening credits, well, he's
here, but if it mmm McKenzie.
(31:02):
Is she calling the Mac then?
I just thought about that.
Is it Mac or Matt?
I don't remember what his firstname is.
His name could be MatthewMcKenzie.
So I'm gonna say his name isMatt until I learn otherwise.
But she kissy kissy boo-boo.
That doesn't surprise me becauseshe had many suitors last
season.
Despite not really wanting adate.
(31:24):
No, remember she she almostmoved to Houston with that
engineer type.
Karen still got it.
Oh my god.
That was a good kiss.
She got her mouth agape.
He tells her when he's done, hesays, finish with that and I'll
give you the rest.
And she like, what?
(31:47):
The transcripts.
Sure, sure you will, Curly.
Uh-huh.
All right, Carrie.
I mean, I'm saying, is this aconflict of interest, though?
That was my whole point of goingon describing this.
This doesn't seem like a goodmatch.
If it's almost too personalbecause if this, if this doesn't
(32:14):
the relationship that is, ifthat doesn't turn into some sort
of conviction for these peoplewho definitely killed Sid,
whether it was an accident ornot, that's gonna be a place of
resentment, I would think, inthe middle of a relationship.
This don't seem relationshipy,but it seemed like she's gonna
have a good time.
I also had the thought when hewas sitting at that table, he
seems like the type of characteryou would kill at some point.
(32:36):
I'm sorry, he just does.
It could be cut, it could bebecause I'm thinking of Mac
Namera.
I used to love watching me andmy friend Janessa.
We used to watch um New YorkUndercover.
Baby.
I remember when MacNamera cameand I think he ended up being
tortured or something.
This guy, maybe it's that he's acop, but he definitely gives I'm
going to be kidnapped at somepoint vibes, or I will be um
(33:01):
shot at some point.
Yeah, for sure.
He gives a vibe.
Plus, I think in some TV series,it's always the guy who he's not
necessarily foreign, but he'snot from wherever the other
people are.
Those people tend to beexpendable.
MacNamara was definitely likethat.
He was one of the later castswho came on and then they got
(33:21):
rid of him really quick.
I think that's what I'mthinking.
Plus, it's a cop.
You can never have more than onecop on a show ever.
Something's gonna happen.
I just talked all that ish, butyou know what?
This is this is the thought andthe musing of a TV kid who grew
up into a woman.
I'm telling you, he gives thatvibe off, but I really hope they
(33:44):
don't.
He just showed up at Karen'splace of business.
He's got the chesticles out.
I see that furry chest he'sgiving Chase Gier Bertie.
At high noon, she went on andinvited him over for dinner.
But I like the back and forthbetween them.
We hadn't seen anybody matchwits with her in a minute.
(34:06):
Oh god.
Okay, you know what?
It just hit me too.
He kind of reminds me of Sid inthe tone and texture of their
voices.
But he's he's hot.
I think I like him.
I think I like his personality.
I hope he doesn't get run overanytime soon.
Also, I don't know if the dudeworking on his car is the one
who cut the brakes.
Dang.
(34:26):
I had to avoid, I didn't go backand watch the end of season two,
and I avoided the first fewepisodes of this of season
three.
Didn't go through that again.
Also, Lily Mae is madscandalous.
So she ends up leaving at thecrack of dawn, I suppose, before
Cricket even goes to school.
She leaves Val stranded outthere at Dusty or Rusty's house,
(34:46):
but he ends up talking her intostaying.
She's like, listen, you and Mamadon't understand.
The last thing I need in my liferight now is and Rusty say, Hold
on, hold on, hold on, hold on,sweetheart.
Let me stop you right there.
Don't flatter yourself.
I didn't say nothing abouthooking up.
I said you can stay here.
You're not fooling anybody,Rusty.
I see ya.
Everybody wants a piece of theVidalia onion queen.
(35:08):
Even her loser X, apparently.
Or maybe he just wants to.
Let me shut up.
Let me just watch it.
I feel like Gary just wants tosay something to her face.
Just fire, she just fired Gary.
Oh, she looks pleased withherself.
Okay, plot twist.
Didn't see that coming.
She saw Gary across the aftershe put her boo, her new boo, or
her new friend, I don't know,put him in the car.
She looks across the way andGary is with this couple.
(35:30):
She's like, hey, come here,where you been?
I thought she was gonna ask him,hey, do you remember the
mechanic that was blah blahblowing?
I understand she's pissed and Ifeel the same way.
Trust me, I do.
But we need to get some evidenceand some information.
But she's like, Where was you?
You didn't ask me if you couldgo.
He's like, Listen, I'm a fullgrown man.
If I'm not doing my job, youneed to say something to me
immediately.
You need to let me know rightnow.
(35:51):
And if you don't like it, fireme.
My personal life is my personallife.
If I'm not doing my job, that'sone thing.
But if you don't like what I'mdoing in my personal life,
that's your business.
Fire me.
He walks off.
She lets him get good and acrossthe way with his super tight
jeans.
And she says, Oh, Gary, you'refired.
I figured it would tear apartthe friend group for sure.
(36:12):
I'm okay.
You gotta do what you gotta do.
I mean, if he cares about sinand you can get information out
of him, it'll come out.
But yeah, there had to be a linedrawn in the sand.
I knew it at some point.
It's still so awkward though.
So he's gonna just sleep at hisown house and go back and forth.
Oh no.
No, no, no, no.
So, okay.
(36:33):
Unfortunately, even though itfelt amazing, I can tell by the
look on Karen's face to fireGary.
That freed him up for the restof the day.
He goes home to wash the day offof him while Lily Mae makes it
back to town.
She hears a phone ring and shehurries up.
She's trying to hustle in thehouse.
She picks it up and it's Joe.
Joe's still looking for Val.
(36:55):
She's like, Are you at home?
He said, No, I'm not at home.
She goes, Well, Val's probablytrying to reach you at home.
She's not at the motel anymore.
She is uh she's with Rusty andCricket.
He goes, Well, where does whatdoes that mean?
She's with Rusty and Cricket.
Where is that at?
She goes, Oh, he has a ranch inVentura.
Gary is upstairs, ear hustlingon the other line.
He picked it up.
(37:15):
She didn't hear the click.
So he's listening to the wholeconversation, sopping wet, by
the way, in a towel.
We get it.
We get it.
She's just about to give Rustythe phone.
I mean, Joe the phone number.
Dang it.
Dang it.
Oh my god.
My heart's beating up out of mychest.
Oh my gosh.
That was most satisfying twominutes of the show I've ever
(37:38):
seen in my life.
Gary knows where she's at.
He comes rolling up.
Dusty, Rusty, Usty.
Here's something outside.
He said, You looking for yourmama?
No, I'm not expecting my mama.
Somebody's here to see you.
Val runs to the window.
She sees it is Gary in the leanmean driving machine.
He hops out.
He's talking mad, reckless.
He's loud.
Vitalia, come outside.
(37:59):
Natalia.
Rusty's at the door.
She don't want to talk to you,homeboy.
Let me in.
I'm not letting you in my house.
Well, I'm gonna kick the doordown.
So he starts kicking, he startsdestroying property.
Private property.
Rusty's like, oh no, no, no, no,no.
You ain't gonna break my stuff.
I'm like, you know how far I amfrom Home Depot?
So he opens the door and he'slike, act for what?
Do something.
(38:19):
Gary don't give a damn.
Gary's got on JR's safarijacket.
He sees his wife.
You are my wife.
Ain't no way you're gonna beshacked up with this man.
Can you believe the absolutegoal and audacity?
He says this with his wholechest.
Let me breathe.
I'm sorry.
I'm excited.
I'm sorry.
I'm excited.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm excited.
Okay.
That's like I ain't goingnowhere for you.
I'm your wife.
(38:40):
Your wife?
Oh, that's cute.
That's rich.
You can stay at the BeverlyHills Hotel.
You're now standing hereshacking up with this man.
Rusty's like, listen, you don'twant no problems now.
The funniest part to me aboutthis whole thing is that Cricket
was on, she was on the couch.
They were just singing that youswallow the bird to catch that
spider song I was talking abouta couple weeks ago.
Cricket jumps up with herguitar.
She looked like she went toshits to me.
(39:02):
Like she was ready to step in ifneed be.
She's raised by a full-grownman.
You feel me?
Well, she don't get theopportunity.
Gary starts, you know, poppingoff a little too much.
Rusty does not appreciate theway he is pawing at his homegirl
Valen, the Vidalia Onion Queen.
They go way back.
(39:22):
So he said, All right, bruh, onemore again.
You got one more game to touchthis woman.
That's all it takes.
Gary's like, I want some.
And what?
He starts swinging.
Rusty is with the itch.
I recall from his episode, nowthat I'm breathing a little bit
more, that he was a golden glovefighter at some point, right?
Yeah, he's got that form.
He's got them hands.
(39:46):
And he generously bestows themall over Gary Ewing's pretty
little North Texas face.
Well, they get to go on.
Now I don't mean to make itsound like Gary wouldn't hold in
his own.
Uh turd kicker to turd kicker.
It was pretty impressive, butnot as impressive as it needed
to be.
He was he was swinging here, hewas swinging there.
He tagged Gary about six timesin the face.
(40:08):
Gary's like, oh no, hell no.
He started hitting him in thekidneys.
Valena Vidalia Queen got tossedlike onion rings twice across
the floor.
Bam! She slammed to the couch.
Bam, she slammed to the couch.
I was worried because she'sawfully thin.
I'm like, oh, they don't crackher ribs.
Crickets hollering, y'all stop,y'all stop.
Actually, she's hollering atRusty because she knows Rusty
(40:29):
has hands.
And there might be a body or twoburied on that there ranch.
Gary, North Texas, you and getsa good one in.
It hurts.
It makes uh Rusty stumble andtumble and fall into the
fireplace a little bit.
And he's like, Oh, okay, okay.
I'm tired of playing with you.
So he reaches for one of thepokers.
He's like, I'm gonna kill you,none.
I'm gonna kill you.
Doline's like, oh shit.
(40:51):
She jumps in front of him.
I thought she was gonna jump infront of Gary.
Now she jumps in front of Rustyand she says, Gary, don't now
get.
That's as far as I got before Ispouse out.
I'm so sorry, y'all.
Okay, I'm sorry.
That's before I this far as Igot before I freaked out.
The most exhilarating twominutes of television I've ever
seen.
Well, for this show.
(41:16):
Okay, there's only about 10minutes left of the show, but I
okay.
That was a lot.
And no, okay.
Sorry guys, let me get mythoughts together.
Gary makes it home.
He is battered, he is bruised,and excuse me.
He makes it to Abby's house.
He parks in her driveway.
He is quite comfortable doingso.
(41:37):
He walks in.
She gets a good look at him.
She says, Did Val do that or didRusty?
He wants to know how she knewwhere he was.
She said she thought he was atwork.
Turns out he wasn't.
She called the house, his housewith his wife.
Lily Mae was all too happy tolet Abby know that Val got her a
(41:57):
real man, and he's so muchbetter than the trash she shares
her bed with.
Lily Mae couldn't wait to tellit.
Gary starts that huffy puffystuff he gets to pull with
Valen, but Abby says, Oh no, no,no, no, no, no, no, no.
I ain't doing all that.
He says, He will, he, I'm goingto bed.
He turns like he's gonna goupstairs.
She says, Oh, but wait, hold on,sir.
Your bed is across the street.
(42:18):
As in, you said this was me andyou for real, for real.
I'm I don't do halfway nothing.
I hate that I respect her somuch in this moment because
she's not wrong.
I I feel you.
You're gonna make up your mind.
You're not gonna uh play in andout, in and out.
Like when we were little, my dadused to holler through the door
if the you know we got the ACtemperature just right in the
house.
And if you answer the door,don't leave it, it'll be close
(42:40):
the door.
You're like not all the coolair.
Abby said, You better pick ahouse, you better pick a door.
You're gonna stay in or you'regonna stay out, period.
100% or nothing.
This fool says to her, 100% ofnothing is nothing.
She's like, What are you talkingabout?
Don't start all that self-pityand stuff.
(43:00):
She thinks he's and I did too.
I was like, what the hell is hetalking about?
She thinks he's being a wimp.
But he says, I'm about to comeinto a lot of money right now.
I'm about to come into a lot ofmoney soon.
To which Abby replies, the ewingmillions will be old and gray
before we see any of that money.
To which Gary replies, No.
(43:21):
I got a call from Bobby thismorning.
Mama is ready to hear the will.
Okay, guys.
Now I've everybody's told me I'mI'm cool to keep watching this.
It's not finna interfere withnothing.
He's in there about to read thewill.
Abby says, Are you even in it?
Gary says, I'm definitely in it.
I just don't know for how much.
(43:41):
My daddy didn't trust me onaccount of him being a drunkard
and a runoffer, you know whatI'm saying?
But he loved Val.
He called Val Gary's anchor.
So Gary wants to make sure thathis inheritance isn't contingent
on his relationship with Valen.
So now I'm I'm confused.
I'm a little bit apprehensive,but most of all, I'm a little
(44:05):
bit pissed.
Is that why he's chasing afterher?
Is that what it is?
Is he trying to make good justso he can get whatever he needs
to get?
That's why he's all bucking inKaren's space.
Now, I'm not saying he was wrongbecause she was, I get that.
You're a grown man.
If you don't want to work undersomeone's thumb, then by all
means, don't do it.
But he knew he's coming intosome money, though.
(44:27):
So he's you know what I'msaying?
Is this what he's being soreckless?
Because he knows his financialuh security is coming?
What a douche.
I never looked at Gary as likethe money grubbing type, and I
don't know if he is, but thefact that that's what he's using
to soothe Abby's nerves isreally obnoxious.
And also, I'm a little bitconcerned about watching the
(44:48):
next few episodes of this.
Because there's no way he wouldjust say that for no reason.
So there's probably gonna be acontingency.
Golly, mama's not ready.
Okay.
I mean, I guess it doesn't spoilanything because we that
wouldn't have been a plotsurprise anyway, because I
already knew that Jim Davis wasgone.
Okay, wow, interesting.
(45:10):
Anyway, he goes on to say, youkeep tripping, basically.
I'll walk out that door.
I won't go, I won't go to Valen,but I certainly won't come back
here either.
So it seems like he has all butmade up his mind.
There ain't gonna be anyreconciliation.
He wants out with Val.
Dang, then why'd you go up thereand get beat down?
(45:31):
Ugh, this is a confusing time.
This is weird.
Who is Wayne?
Wayne is okay, Karen's.
We're back at Karen's business.
She's trying to replace Gary.
She calls in this mechanicWayne, and this dude is he has a
charisma of a wet towel.
He is giving absolutely nothing.
I'm actually physicallyexhausted as he speaks.
She's offering him, shebasically breaks it down and
(45:54):
says, Gary, don't work hereanymore.
He was doing sales and repairs.
That's too much.
I'm splitting up his duties.
So-and-so is going to takesales.
I'd like you to run the shop.
I'd like you to be over repairs.
He says with a straight face,Well, I don't know, Mrs.
Farragate.
All I know is cars.
You think?
(46:15):
Hey, Wayne, homeboy, do you knowwhat makes an incredible
mechanic at a car dealership?
Knowing cars.
I hope he's not.
Let me just relax.
Here's the thing.
I'm coming in this.
I'm all this show revs me up toomuch.
(46:35):
It really does.
I feel like I should probablywatch one part in the morning
and one part in the afternoon.
And give myself real worldthings to do in between.
Because now I'm now I'm I'mnervous about who's gonna be on
the show all the time.
This dude is giving nothing.
I swear he's gotta be thedirector's brother or nephew or
something.
(46:56):
All I know is cars.
Jesus.
I need some B12 after that.
I'm exhausted.
Perhaps I was a little harsh onWayne.
Wayne knows cars, he does notknow arithmetic, apparently, or
how to hold a conversation orhow to read a room or when to
leave.
He's Wayne definitely has a bodyin the trunk.
(47:16):
I promise you he does.
Okay, wow.
Wow.
That was a lot in 10 minutes.
Okay, um, now that my jaw is upoff the floor, I I'm literally,
I literally just push stopped.
It says executive producersMichael Fillerman and David
(47:38):
Jacobs.
Abby and Gary are in a warmembrace.
Literally just pushed off.
So much happened in the last 10minutes.
Wow.
Okay.
Number one, it irritates me tosee Gary play the family man
(48:01):
when I saw he and Abby in theirlittle blue station wagon with
Val's kids in the backseat.
Happy family, how cute.
I wonder how Lucy would feel.
I bet Lucy would have loved totake a trip to the beach with
her family.
Abby's a fool with it, though.
She is so soft for this man.
Because she does not strike meas somebody who lets anybody run
(48:22):
all over her.
But I could tell her details.
She is folding to his mood.
Y'all gonna have therelationship you deserve.
You are, quite frankly.
I'm not even that upset abouty'all no more.
But as he's coming home with hisnew family from the beach across
the street, we see Valen theVidalia Onion Queen in a uh
Sheeny brick red jumpsuit.
(48:43):
She is loading all his teens outthe house.
Walks over and he apologizes forbursting in on her and Rusty.
Like, I'm so sorry.
I really can't, I don't haveanything to say.
I have no right to interruptwhatever you got going on.
She's like, all right, cool.
He's like, are you moving allthis to Rusty's?
She's like, no, this is I'm not.
This is all the stuff that yourmama gave me.
(49:04):
This ain't my stuff.
This is your stuff.
You can do with it what youplease.
Put it in storage, burn it.
I really don't give a damn.
He gets so huffy, puffy, andangry that Gary Ewing doesn't
know how to use his big boywords.
He stomps across the street,jumps in Abby's baby blue
station wagon, and peels the Fout.
Leaving Abby to run out of herhouse, hollering after him.
(49:27):
I hope she understands what thisis.
It was very satisfying.
Her and um Val kind of lookedacross the street at each other.
They can't stand one another.
But then Abby had that look onher face.
So she spins on her heels, goesin her house real no, she didn't
spin on her heels.
She turned very slowly andwalked very slowly into her
house.
I hope.
(49:48):
I hope she sees what this is.
You feel like you're victoriousin this moment, but you don't
know who you're gonna have tobabysit for the next however
long.
It don't matter.
While he was gone, Abby laid onher bed and she collected her
thoughts.
And her thoughts led her toreview all of the things in her
arsenal and to strategize andmake a very calculated decision.
(50:13):
She pulls out an oversizedmanila envelope, she goes to her
closet, pulls out anold-fashioned suitcase, like a
box an old-fashioned suitcase,cracks that sum to open and tell
me why she has a copy ofCapricorn's.
She should not have that.
I don't know who her connect is,I don't know who her plug is.
She should not be able to havethat.
(50:34):
She might have the first copy,but she clearly has a revised
one.
So I'm like, who the hell is herconnect?
She sends this unpublishedmanuscript to J.R.
Ewing.
Now, this is real crappy becauseVal's been talking all episode
long.
The first six chapters of herbook are gonna be put into some
magazine.
So that needs to happen soonerrather than later.
(50:56):
Early spring.
The book isn't coming out untilChristmas, which leads me to
believe this is late winter,early spring, you know, around
Marchish.
Abby went ahead and sent themanuscript to JR in Texas.
Now, hopefully he doesn't openhis own mail, but this is so
balkfer.
We already know what's gonna godown.
He's gonna read that and wreakhavoc.
(51:16):
So I feel like they're about tocross over again.
Seems like they're gonna have tosince Jock died.
Karen had invited Matt over, andI saw him jumping in the front
yard.
I know an athlete when I see anathlete.
Quick aside, Karen's kids aregetting really big.
I can see it with Michael.
The middle boy looks the same,but Michael is his voice
starting to change.
He's getting big.
They're gonna have to figure outsomething with him pretty quick.
(51:39):
Olivia looks bigger too.
Olivia and the what's the babyboy?
Is it Brian?
Brian has no speaking lines.
I forget he's there half thetime, but he's bigger.
All the kids are getting big.
Once Matt's leaving, she's aboutto let Matt or McKenzie,
whatever his name is, out of thehouse.
They had a wonderful time.
The kids seem to like him.
He's telling her how beautifulher family is.
(51:59):
She's like, I know.
He said, Do you want me to bringover the rest of the transcript?
She says, Yes, I'm already oneight.
He told her he had 16 boxes.
Joe's witnessing all this, andhe's not very pleased.
He really doesn't want her todig into this.
So once Matt leaves, she Joestarts going in.
Her and Joe were having aconversation.
They're going back and forthabout you need to let this go.
(52:20):
I'm not gonna let this go.
I need to look into this, blah,blah, blah.
It's a freak accent.
Well, while they're doing it,it's kind of like a voiceover.
Weird Wayne.
I swear to you guys, I didn'tlook, I swear on my life, life,
everything.
I have not gone any further.
But Wayne is in his weirdapartment or his apartment, let
(52:41):
me not judge it.
He has a whole scrapbook of Sid.
Now, this kid, like I said, he'sgiving he's no personality.
It is a wet rag.
He's giving you absolutelynothing in the face, even when
he's alone.
So I'm jumping to conclusionsright off the bat, he is creepy.
They have portrayed, they wantme to think he's creepy.
He wasn't the one who cut thebrakes, though.
(53:01):
I know he wasn't.
I'm almost a hundred percentsure it was like a bigger,
gruffier guy.
It was not him.
I know it wasn't, but he has ascrapbook of Sid, and as we can
hear Joe and Karen arguing,going kind of back and forth,
he's flipping the pages.
It shows Sid died in a caraccident.
The DA has made some arrests,the DA um has to let these
(53:26):
people go.
Blah, blah, blah.
He's keeping tabs.
That's not too unusual since heworks at Not Sunny Motor.
Wayne is mad creepy.
So unfortunately, I thinkWayne's gonna stick around.
Wow.
Damn, I talked too much.
Now I'm like, what if he shootsMatt?
I'm gonna call him McKenzieuntil I know his government
naming.
(53:48):
Okay, needless to say, that wasgood.
That was fantastic.
Did not see Laura, did not seeKenny or baby two names or
gender, and that's fine with me.
A little bit of Richard, whoseems to be quite healthy,
actually.
Valen says she's keeping thehouse, as she should.
I forgot that part.
She and Lily May are sitting onfolding chairs in the house.
(54:08):
They're gonna go buy newfurniture.
With what money, I don't know,but I I would imagine Val keeps
the books in the family.
What a loser! He just bouncesaround from woman to woman.
Okay, whatever.
Whew.
I feel like I just ran amarathon.
Oh gosh.
Yeah, tens across the board.
(54:29):
Also, the music is is veryswelling.
They had like sinister music,they had these beautiful um
violins and such as they holdeach other.
I hope they're not.
I'm I'm very curious to those ofyou who were around during this.
Were they the new couple?
Were people excited about this?
I can see Abby being one ofthose people you love to hate,
but they are this is they'repushing romance on this so hard.
(54:52):
Oh my gosh.
Great show today, guys.
Wow.
I don't even really haveanything else to say, just wow.
Join me next time as we bearwitness to our final season
premiere.
Season five, episode one ofDynasty.
I am expecting a good time everytime, especially now that I'm
(55:15):
equipped with the knowledge thatthis is going to be the number
one show this particular season.
All right, y'all.
Stay hydrated, stay moisturized,don't run up and get done up to
your ex-wife's new booze ranch.
It is quite embarrassing to getbeat down in front of a child
(55:37):
who's named after a creaturewith an exoskeleton.
Stay moisturized.
Mind your business unless youdon't have to.
Oh my gosh, I don't even knowwhat I was saying.
Keep all of your drama on TV.
I need a drink.
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