Wedding bells turn to funeral dirges in "Forsaken All Others," as Cole and Melissa's long-awaited nuptials end in heartbreak and public humiliation. After years of on-again, off-again romance, shared parenthood, and finally finding their way back to each other, everything shatters when Cole leaves Melissa standing at the altar—all because of a secret Angela Channing strategically revealed at the worst possible moment. The devastation unfolds against the backdrop of Angela's masterful manipulation. Having recently shed rare tears over Julia's return from presumed death, Angela seems determined to compensate by destroying someone else's happiness. Upon discovering Melissa can't have more children due to medical complications, she waits until wedding morning to whisper this information to Cole, knowing exactly how his temperamental nature will respond. The wedding scene itself is absolutely gut-wrenching—Melissa radiant in her gown, Chase proudly walking her down the aisle, little Joseph watching his parents' big moment—only for Cole to fall silent when asked if he takes her as his wife. Meanwhile, the Tuscany Valley vineyard drama continues on multiple fronts. Richard encounters new advertising executive Cassandra Wilder, who firmly establishes professional boundaries despite his interest. Lance takes extreme legal measures to prevent Lorraine from terminating her pregnancy, serving her with papers at the medical clinic itself. And Julia's resurrection from supposed death creates complex legal challenges the family must navigate carefully, with plans to sequester her at a convent where she can continue her wine studies away from prying eyes. What makes this episode particularly powerful is how it exposes the fragility of relationships built on unstable foundations. Despite their shared child and years of connection, Cole's impulsive abandonment of Melissa reveals how easily progress can be undone by secrets, miscommunication, and outside interference. Will Melissa ever forgive him? Can the Channing's protect Julia from legal consequences? And what new schemes will Angela concoct now that she's back to her villainous ways? Tune in next week as the emotional aftermath unfolds and new battle lines are drawn across Tuscany Valley.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome, or
welcome back to your stove floorof the official gathering place
for newbies, novices and OGdiehard fans of the golden age
of primetime.
I'm your host, jad, viewing andreviewing the Sophia Setzi's
primetime storyline of 1985.
So, whether you're new to thisor true to this, get back and
enjoy.
Tell the kids it's time to playoutside, or out of sight, tell
(00:20):
babe, no questions, suggestionsor concerns for the next 25 to
35 minutes.
Everyone else, in earshot, cool, quiet or kicked out are your
only options, because we arewatching our stories.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, this is so cool.
Hello, gorgeous.
Welcome back to another funlittle edition of so far.
(00:44):
I hope your day is shaping upwell.
I got found a little bit of awrench, but I think it's a
blessing.
In disguise, go ahead and kickoff your shoes, put on on your
silk robe, whatever you need todo, feel comfortable because we
(01:04):
are deep diving into our stories.
Oh, what a day.
We're back on the West Coast,where they always do the
absolute most, and Falcon Questis back on their bully.
Nothing like a little bit ofdestruction of an enemy.
You know, my enemy's enemy ismy friend.
That's all cute until yourenemy is done.
Then what is your enemy'sfriend, your enemy?
(01:27):
Did I say that?
Right, doesn't matter.
Go ahead and grab yourselfsomething bubbly and bright.
Let me tell y'all what happened.
I am actually going to beenjoying a already cracked open
bottle of sparkling Saratogawater.
Tell me why.
I'm in the kitchen and Inoticed my kid is sipping on
something Looks like water.
(01:48):
He goes mom, that water wasreally good.
What water are you talkingabout?
It was all the water in thatblue bottle.
So I'm looking in the fridge.
It must've been damn good,because tell me why there's only
a third of it left.
It better still sizzle.
Okay, we're good, we're stillin business.
In order to save myself somedignity, I am going to pour this
(02:14):
into a wine glass.
Today, I feel like it'sappropriate to watch Falcon
Crest with the wine glass.
Also, I have this hostagesituation of a charcuterie board
today.
It was basically boiled eggsand had a couple of reasons, but
we're going to make it do whatit do.
We're going to pretend likethis is fresh, crisp Sarasota
(02:37):
water that has been unopened anddrank by a kid who all of a
sudden developed a taste for it,and I am eating something
fantastic as we dive into seasonfour, episode 20 of falcon
crust forsaken all others in thekids defense.
This water is delicious.
I had been saving it like itwas fine wine in the
(02:58):
refrigerator for probably amonth.
I kind of forgot it was there.
So I can't believe it's a thirdgone To me.
It feels like 30 episodes.
Is God, that seems like a lot.
I know Grey's Anatomy maybedoes that from time to time, but
dang 30 episodes of acontinuous serial story seems
(03:18):
like it's a lot.
This one doesn't disappoint,though.
So when last we left Berse, akaReidman, aka Mr Still, both
your daughters and brandish aweapon at you so I can get your
falcon crest super secret templeof doom type Goonies gold rush,
I don't really know we sawDeBercy under a beam in an
(03:42):
abandoned mine shaft with HobbyLobby craft store jewelry in a
little tub.
That is just so disappointingto me.
I cannot stress enough.
The whole point of having moneyis so that you don't have to do
the mundane.
Why on earth wouldn't you justhire some expendables to go into
this cave and make sure thateverything was there?
(04:02):
What say ye?
They got down there and it wasnothing but like a bunch of old
dresses or something you didn't,cussed out, killed, maneuvered,
blew up your father, stolenhouses for dresses, for costumes
.
T'was not the case.
Chase, richard and Angela puttheir beef aside for two or
three episodes so that they canconcentrate on bringing down
(04:24):
this nincompoop.
It was odd to me, and I totallyforgot, that they still don't
really know why Reidman wentdown to those mineshafts.
They are none the wiser as towhy he did that.
They just know he was part ofthe cartel and as far as they're
all concerned, that was thebiggest threat.
Now that all of the enemies seemto be at bay, it's time to
focus on other things and forthree or so people on this
(04:48):
episode, there are big, bigchoices to make.
You have to make choices thatare going to change the course
of history and your life as weknow it here.
On this here, falcon Crest,we're going to go ahead and
start with the bit players,because that's how we get down
On this episode.
It happens to be Richard.
Now I don't know if Richard hadan.
Oh, it just gosh.
(05:10):
A lot of times things are comingto me as I'm saying them out
loud for the first time, richardis walking around with a cane
this episode.
I thought maybe he just wantedto see.
No, I didn't.
I'm not even going to sit hereand lie.
I knew he didn't want to lookcool, but I thought the actor
must have had an accident andneeded to came.
But as I'm saying it out loud,he all, he too, escaped the mine
(05:33):
shaft.
He did a couple tuck and rolls.
His stunt double was doubling.
I don't know where they found asix foot four string bean in a
mcgruff, the crime dog jacket orhell.
Maybe it was two little kidsstanding on each other's
shoulder.
I don't know.
But all that ripping andrunning and rolling and rocking
in that cave must have shook hisankles or, you know, loosened
(05:55):
his Achilles tendon or something.
So he shows up to meet Terryand, for whatever reason,
they're not meeting at the horseplace, they're not meeting at
the race at Tuscany Downs,they're meeting at just some
no-name hot dog stand on theside of the road.
He pulls up in a limo becausehe's very discreet and Terry
(06:16):
comes out with layers and gloves.
People help me out my West Coastsoap fiends.
I understand there's differentclimates, like I understand
people in Maine or up north,maybe even Seattle in the United
States.
I'm sure people in the UK couldprobably say the same thing.
I understand it's chilly, butis it chilly enough for layers
(06:39):
all year long?
I understand San Francisco nearthe bay is a little bit choppy.
I was a kid.
I'm really fascinated withAlcatraz.
For some reason I think I saw aprison movie on HBO.
Oh God, that could be a totalother series.
All the things I had absolutelyno business watching as a kid.
Anyway, I remember readingabout it.
(07:02):
Later on I kind of got intothat whole situation and they
were saying that the watersthere are so like it's really
really choppy, they placed theprison on this rock for that.
For that reason, like it wasgoing to be difficult to get to
and from.
So if ever someone escaped, thechances of them like swimming
(07:24):
to shore were going to be slimto none.
So I understand like the breezeoff the ocean is going to be
quite frigid, but it's also thepacific.
So I'm very, very confused asto why terry and richard are
dressed in all these diagonallayers in the middle of the day
at this random hot dog shackwhile they're ordering their hot
dogs.
Terry reveals intel she got fromthe manimal in their little
(07:48):
tryst morning.
Previous Some higher up judgeearly in the morning and why
this is important.
I'm sure I don't know.
I had all but forgotten whyTerry was chasing in behind the
manimal it was Craig Reardon.
Richard quickly reminds herthat if she has any more
information, she had better tellhim with the quickness, or he
(08:09):
was going to make sure theFlorida man was going to be
released from whatever prisonhe's in so that he can wreak
havoc on her life.
She's like okay, okay, chill,richard, chill, chill, chill.
He's on xyz, he's on him andAngela.
I don't know why he's meetingwith the judge.
That's all he told me.
I, I'm sorry, damn Damn, Iforgot that.
She is Letting the manimaldisrespect her and her Nordstrom
(08:30):
rack outfits, all so that shecan not be harassed and haunted
by Joel the Florida man.
I would take my chances if Iwere her, but that's just me.
I don't really remember whyRichard cares about the manimal
or Angela's plan.
The manimal seems to be justthis throwaway, not a throwaway
character.
He's replacing Phillip and Iguess he's young enough to be a
(08:53):
quote unquote sex symbol.
It's still quite boring.
He doesn't really pose a threatoutside of Angela.
But I suppose Richard, oldhabits die hard.
He can't give up that spyingand just keeping an eye on
everyone so that he knows everymove that they make.
Anyway, he gets back to hisnewly decorated office and he
gets this little postcard thatsays everybody wants Francesca,
(09:16):
or something to that effect.
Remember, francesca is a womanhe dropped leather pants Pam for
, who turned out to be AngelaChanning's sister.
They got the same daddy.
Francesca was disgusted by theway they treated family over in
the Americas.
She did a little tarantuladance, she clip-clopped and
crip-walked all over everybodyand then got on the first plane
(09:37):
to Italy where she can reviveher own vineyard.
So I think at first he'sthinking, okay, is this me?
What is this about?
Francesca is his brand.
Eventually we find out that itis this new hot shot, sort of PR
advertising woman.
Surprise, surprise, her name isCassandra Wilder.
We have a late entrance, Iwould say.
(09:59):
She is showing up on episode 20, season four of Falcon Crest.
She's clearly going to be thenew love interest.
She's very pretty, she's kindof a high powered advertising
agent.
I suppose it feels a little bitlike a PR lady.
And this is where I don'tregret my decision to kind of
compare apples to apples.
(10:20):
Yes, we don't have the versusversus anymore.
I might bring that back, butThink about it.
On Dynasty, we have Tracy as aPR extraordinaire, who's a
little bit of trouble, and thenwe have Leslie on Dallas.
All of this is season four.
All of these women are goingafter these high powered men.
It's not very original.
(10:41):
I'm like dang, you would thinkthey would scramble this a
little bit better.
But no, why reinvent the wheel,as they say.
So this feels like a little bitof a borrowed storyline.
You just got to tweak a coupleof things in order to make it
different and we'll just sort ofsee how this turns out.
But Cassandra Wilder is notcoming on.
(11:02):
She's not really feelingRichard, or at least she doesn't
appear to be feeling him.
She says I'm a professionalwoman, I don't mix business with
pleasure.
Yeah, that's what they all say.
Terry can breathe easy becausethe man has work to do.
He has to go to Angela's to tryto sort things out.
I suppose Now this is where youstart to see the facade break a
(11:23):
little bit.
I think we're about to have alittle bit of drama between
Angela and he because of this.
You know, they found Julia.
Julia is alive and well.
However, it isn't like they canreally tell anybody.
Julia's already tried to turnherself in once and they just
laughed at her.
So now that there is even moreproof she's back in her own
county.
Things could get very, verymessy very quickly.
(11:46):
Luckily, falcon Crest seems tobe a sprawling property.
The chances of someone justshowing up unannounced, other
than to kidnap, are slim to none.
She can walk about the property, she can walk about the house
pretty freely.
So there is the business ofdeciding how she's going to live
, and then there's the businessof let's tell.
(12:09):
Let's tell Lance, because Lanceis none the wiser.
He's been out sleeping withMaureen, or whatever her name is
.
Craig the animal and Angeladefinitely disagree on how to
tell Lance and what to do withJulia.
Ray Riordan is a lawyer andhe's Angela's lawyer.
The best thing here, in hisopinion, is hey, we got to
figure out how we're going toturn her in.
(12:34):
Angela's like over my dead body.
Absolutely not.
I refuse to do that.
I can't.
I can't do that to her again.
She's showing all theseemotions.
She's a loving mother.
Emma's in the room she hears asshe starts to flip out.
Big mother, if you had justremembered and listened to me,
then this never would havehappened when I was telling you
she was alive and she was like Iknow, darling, I'll never doubt
you again.
Give her two episodes.
Then, to add insult to injury,emma says at least Reidman
(12:57):
listened to her and took care ofher.
He gave her someone to talk to.
Madam, that is, that's astretch.
That's a stretch at best.
I mean yes, yes, he pretendedto be a psychiatrist.
Yes, he did give her food andshelter.
However, god my out, myargument is falling apart as I
(13:18):
say it out loud, it's not thesame thing.
It was all for.
It was a ruse, it was all ameans to an end.
He simply wanted information.
Once he got it, who knows whathe was going to do?
He'll blow up his own father.
The Channings are, you know,might as well be prepared to be
men's meat.
You're like there's no way youwere going to survive that.
But Emma is beside herself andshe goes running upstairs and I
(13:40):
do believe, ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in Falcone
Crust history, first or second,I feel like she might have
almost cried.
Once angela channing loses it alittle bit, you can tell she
wants to chase emma.
She doesn't scoff at her, Imean, she's as beside herself as
(14:01):
angela will allow herself toget.
She's like god.
Do you think peter rabbit diedinstead of reedman?
What the heck?
She's upset because she's likethese people are not apt to run
this empire.
God, what if I had effed aroundand died?
What if I had gotten shot?
What if the topless tanya hadcalled my bluff, shot me with
that pistol?
I would have bled out rightthere in the front door.
(14:21):
And you know craig is likeyou're right, you're right,
you're right here here.
So Angela allows two or threetears to fall from her eyes and
Craig Reardon hands her hishandkerchief.
She wipes her eyes but then theold lady in her kicks in.
She starts wait, is this silkman?
(14:43):
You too much money?
I love it.
You know it's beautiful to seeher show a little bit of emotion
from time to time, butunfortunately or fortunately,
depending on what you likethat's going to cost the rest of
the cast dearly.
Those two tears in a veryshallow bucket are going to cost
(15:06):
somebody some pain andheartache.
She can't be out here showingemotions.
I also need to correct myselfwhen I said Terry had on layers
and layers and layers.
I'm thinking about a differentscene she actually had on the
exact same or very, very closeto the same outfit Angela had
when she got knocked out, nottwo episodes ago.
But the point remains.
I did not realize that ifyou're inland I can't imagine
(15:30):
you'd need all these layers inthe middle of the day.
Tv shows always do that, thoughthe characters are never
actually dressed for what theyneed to be.
You ever notice that, like thekids in school are showing their
midriff, they're wearing justGod knows whatever the
cheerleaders have on theiroutfits every single day?
Totally ruined high school forme when I got there and realized
that was all a farce.
(15:50):
We got to talk about the choiceshere on this episode.
So the choice is made prettyquickly and kind of unanimously
that Lance needs to know thathis mother is alive.
So he comes home from work onenight and he's just trying to
get upstairs and wash a littlesweat and little stank off of
him.
All he wants is a hot shower.
I do find it ironic that Lanceis a sort of man who will
(16:13):
canoodle with every woman in thevalley in a hotel motel holiday
and barefoot but naked in thesheets.
But he won't use the hotelbathroom.
Make it make sense.
He wants to clean himself offproperly at home.
I don't know, Maybe he has acustom body wash, I'm sure I
(16:35):
don't know.
But when he gets there he seesJulia and she explains
everything.
I'm just going to kind ofcondense that.
She explains everything andAngela does her due diligence to
convince the judge whoconvicted Julia that Angela
would stop at nothing to makehis miserable existence all the
(16:55):
more miserable if he doesn'tturn his head or reevaluate or
let's sort of ignore theprevious conviction.
My daughter was absolutely outof her mind.
She was a kookaloo times 15.
She had no businessrepresenting herself in court.
We're going to call it a mishaw.
We're going to do all thethings you couldn't really do in
real life but you can on FalconCrest, because we got money, we
(17:18):
got wine, we got mighty morphinlawyer and an old lady with a
grudge because she let her.
She let someone see her crack.
So the judge is like okay, fine, fine, fine, I have enough dirt
on me.
I really don't want no problemswith you or your daughter.
Fine, by the end of the show itis decided that Julia will go
(17:39):
to a convent where nuns willkeep a nice eye on her to make
sure she doesn't pop off andshoot anybody or do anything
weird or crawl under a tunnel.
She's excited because she cando wine science up there.
Kind of sounds like a cover,sounds like a laundering
situation.
I don't think none's runningthis.
I think this is probably amoney laundering station for
(18:02):
mafioso types, maybe even thecartel, who knows.
But by the end of the episodelance and his mother have
reconciled.
I'm not going to say, you know,every time I say Lance's acting
gets better, it is better.
I think in general conversationI think of it like learning a
(18:22):
foreign language.
You probably do well with theeveryday.
May I have some coffee?
May I sleep with you?
Are you on birth control?
He gets away with that.
But when it's time to fullyemote and sort of be in the
moment and embrace, kind ofstumbles all over himself.
But that's okay.
Everything ain't for everybodyand he had a much bigger career
(18:43):
as an action star.
So I'm not going to hate.
I will hate on this next littledecision he makes.
So you know he and Lorraine aregoing back and forth about this
brand new Bambino in her womb.
She wants to have an abortionbecause she is afraid that
Richard is going to put Lance inprison.
(19:03):
If Richard is already pissedthat he's dating her.
How much more pissed is hegoing to be when he finds out
that she's carrying his child?
I don't understand that trainof thought, but you know what it
works.
So they, you know they'refighting, they're not fighting.
He yelled at her the last timethey were at the hotel motel
holiday inn.
Well, this time, right afteryou know post-coitus, he says
(19:25):
hey, I got to have a present foryou.
And he pulls out a box and it'sthis like a yellow teddy bear,
orange teddy bear, and he goeswell, it's for all of us, it's
for us and the baby.
She goes listen, dude, I'm nothaving the baby.
I've already told you I'm notgonna do it.
He knows when her appointmentis, but he's not taking no for
(19:47):
an answer.
Okay, hear me out.
I think in this situation I feellike if she wants to have an
abortion and he doesn't want herto have an abortion, I wish
they gave a better reason thanoh well, richard's going to be
angry with you like, well, no,he already is.
What exactly are you losing?
Y'all are still around.
(20:07):
If he was going to put a hitout on Lance, I feel like it
would have happened already, butthis scene just comes off as
super duper, whiny, very, veryimmature on both parties, like
nobody's really making any sense.
I almost wish she was likelaundering money or she had
stolen something.
It just I just don't feel likethe baby is enough leverage in
(20:30):
this case.
I know that goes against mybeliefs.
When it comes to soap operas.
Yes, babies are leveraged.
Not in this case, though.
Not in this case.
Well, that's irrelevant.
What she wants is veryirrelevant because she goes to
have her appointment to gothrough with the abortion.
Tell you what the doctors andlawyers on these shows are.
(20:51):
The moral compass is extremely,extremely strong.
The lawyer on Dallas didn'twant the Ewings to get a divorce
.
Well, doctor on Falcon Crestdoesn't want her to have the
abortion, even though that ishis bread and butter business.
So he's telling her girl, areyou sure?
I mean, you're very healthy,you're still so young, you
really don't have to do this.
(21:12):
Blah, blah, blah.
But before she can really sayanything else, in walks the
sheriff.
Can you imagine there's so manyHIPAA violations in this scene?
Almost vomited, she, thesheriff, walks in with like a
cease and desist.
As far as medical, I don't knowif that's even a real thing.
He has some sort of paperworkthat puts a restraining order on
(21:34):
her and the doctor, I don'tknow.
Yeah, I don't know, I don'tknow.
Insert any absurdity you wantthere, it doesn't really matter.
The point is she is now legallybound and bar, legally bound to
carrying the baby and barredfrom having the abortion because
the alleged father of the baby,uh, put a restraining order or
(21:57):
something against her.
Make it make sense.
That's taking to the extreme,but that's what we watch tv for.
Right, I already know this isgoing to blow up into something
crazy.
It's also weird that Richardhasn't found out that this girl
was pregnant.
She's been tailed, she'sbasically followed everywhere
she goes, but for some reasonhe's just kind of missing that
(22:17):
detail.
First come love, then comesmarriage, then comes so-and-so
with a baby carriage.
I remember that.
I remember crying in elementarywhen someone was saying that
stupidity to me and a boy.
I didn't like it would freak meout.
I take everything so seriously.
But you know what?
Sometimes a baby comes first,sometimes a marriage comes first
(22:41):
and then you fall in love later.
Things happen, and unfortunatelyon this show, unfortunately on
this show, the couple of thehour, melissa and Brooding Cole,
are having a little bit oftrouble.
Remember he fell for her veryhard.
Then she messed around and gotpregnant, but then she wanted
(23:01):
the, the money and the power.
So she married Lance.
That didn't really work out.
Then it did work out for alittle bit.
Then it didn't work out so much.
Now she's back with Cole.
She is a reformed woman.
She has turned away from herwicked ways, except for the
occasional romp here and therewith Richard.
You know I'm saying remembershe was totally sleeping with
him the entire time she waspregnant.
(23:21):
I forgot about that.
Anyway, melissa, she's turnedher back on that.
She is a reformed woman.
She wants to be an honest womanand she wants to get married to
Cole and she wants to put thatwhole debacle of a first
marriage all the way behind her.
Cole tries to convince her hey,why don't we just elope?
Absolutely not.
(23:42):
I'm going to do this like thisis my first wedding ever.
I'm going to act like I don'tknow what anybody's talking
about, nevermind that we have afull grown, talking baby walking
around, nevermind that my lastname is Cumsin.
That ish didn't happen.
It was my day.
New wedding, new dress, neweverything, everything which is
(24:03):
cool.
But when you think about it,her and cole have both been god,
they've both been married andwell, I suppose cole is a little
bit different.
Cole is a widower.
She is divorced, or is aboutshe's sort of divorced, just not
through the church.
Anyway, it's all about Melly,mel and her wedding.
But god, my issue with Colestands.
(24:24):
He has a hair print trigger.
He's too easily provoked.
It doesn't really matter whatyou say.
He's gonna start brooding andflipping around.
I want to know what was goingon during this season.
Was he dating one of thewriters or whatever?
Was he trying to stretch it outa little bit?
Was he?
Was he auditioning for anotherrole?
I don't know, but brooding,pissed off.
Cole makes several appearancesthis episode.
(24:47):
So Melissa has a I guess youcould call it a little wedding
dinner shower where the ladiesall meet up at this little
restaurant.
Everybody puts on their finestfur.
That's what I'm talking about,west Coast.
Do you get to wear fur coats?
I doubt it.
Anyway, that's irrelevant.
Emma brings her some bunnyslippers with a straight face.
(25:07):
Terry and Maggie show up.
You know what I'm saying.
They got to support theniece-in-law and daughter-in-law
.
Angela shows up.
Julia would have made it, buton the account of her supposedly
supposed to be dead and afugitive.
She couldn't risk it, shecouldn't call her PO because
(25:28):
she's supposed to be dead.
Anyway, the gifts are beingpassed out and Angela is sitting
there with that chest-showergrin and I'm like, okay, she's
back on her bully, she's on one.
She passes Melissa a gift andit's her perfume and Melissa's
kind of touched it first, likeAngela, oh my God, you
remembered, I didn't know youwould do this.
(25:50):
This is so sweet.
She starts spraying it andStevie, y'all smell it, Girl,
don't they smell good?
And Angela's like, oh, melissa,I don't want you to ever think
that I could ever forget yourscent.
Basically, I'm on you, I'm onyou like white on rice, I'm on
you like stank on dookie.
Don't let me catch you slippinglittle girl.
(26:11):
And so Melissa's like, okay,damn, it's like that, angela, we
still on this.
So, uh, I think I can'tremember if it's terry or it had
to be terry, because nobodyelse cares I think they start
talking about like more kids.
And melissa's like oh, you know, I don't know, we think
(26:31):
joseph's.
Probably enough right now.
So when everybody leaves arestaurant, angela kind of walks
slowly with, uh, melissa, shegoes.
You handle that tacky commentby Terry so wonderfully, so much
poise.
Melissa says well, whatever doyou mean?
Angela, knowing good and well,she knows what she means.
Melissa had gone to the doctorpreviously because Paul had made
(26:53):
an offhanded comment sayingwhat if we named our daughter
Margaret after her grandmother?
And I'm like, who is Margaret?
Forgot that could be Maggie.
Oh, yes, I guess that isMaggie's name, margaret, and
Melissa's like yeah, sure, thenshe goes to the doctor and she
can't have any more kids.
I kind of forgot about that.
(27:13):
I forgot what sort of accidentshe had after Joseph.
But according to the doctor,she's probably can't carry a
baby.
But there are other options.
She's rich, her husband's rich,his parents are rich.
We could probably get you agood adoption.
Or if you want like the baby tobe yours, we can do a surrogate
.
No big deal, I can send youinformation.
(27:33):
I know a guy I can hook you up.
Well, she didn't tell anybodythis.
Melissa didn't speak of this toanyone, but somehow Angela
knows I'm assuming she knowsbecause she lived in the house
with her all this time.
So she goes.
That was so tacky of Terry toask that and I guess they don't
know that you can't have anymore children.
(27:54):
Okay, remember how I said a fewminutes ago that usually
children are collateral, they'reweaponized.
This is weaponizing a child orthe lack of a child.
You see what I'm saying.
This is a differentcircumstance.
Now, even now I have to admitI'm a modern woman.
Times are very, very different.
(28:15):
I don't think anybody wouldweaponize that.
I guess somebody is evil enoughto do it.
But that doesn't seem like adeal breaker, especially since
this is the first time Cole everbrought it up, and also, you
already have a son with him.
So it isn't like he's waitingon another heir, he has a boy.
He has one of the mostbrilliant children ever.
I don't think he's reallytripping like that.
(28:35):
And even if he were to find out, you could just be like okay,
well, I mean, I didn't know ifit was for sure.
Like it's, doctors say thingsall the time hell, crystal's
pregnant, so why can't melissabe pregnant anyway?
And she's like oh, I just wantto make amends with you.
Blah, blah, blah here, girl,take my car.
She gets in the car and it iscraig reardon in the back seat,
(28:57):
with champagne and flowers again.
This scene is really, reallydumb.
He tells her it's a kidnapping.
She's like drop me off at thegas station.
I certainly won't do that.
I'm going to drop you off thehouse.
Well, they must take a reallylong time, because Cole starts
to get worried.
He calls over to Falcon Crestlike, hey, angela, I'm sorry,
(29:17):
I'm looking for Melissa.
Did she stop by there?
Oh no, last time I saw her shewas getting in a car with Craig
Reardon.
My nephew hangs up now.
Cole good and pissed off.
And then here comes Melissacoming into the house, sort of
giggling like oh it's so silly.
I went out to the car and thenwhen I opened the door, craig
Reardon was in it.
So you know, cole, I'm gonna,I'm gonna say this is justified.
(29:39):
He's gonna be big to be big madabout this.
They start to argue and theystart to argue and then it
carries on to the next day wherethey have this dress rehearsal
or undress rehearsal at Chaseand Maggie's going through the
motions of their upcomingnuptials.
They embarrass me personally.
(30:00):
They embarrass me personally.
Acted a fool in front of thispriest who has already decided
to kind of look the other waybecause y'all are scandalous in
the way you got together.
Now you want to act a fool infront of him, act like y'all
can't stand each other.
So they have the stupid littlebickery argument.
Everybody in the room wasuncomfortable and probably
annoyed.
(30:20):
I know, at my big age now I'mlike, dude, please don't call me
out of the house for nofoolishness.
And if y'all think, if you'regoing to well, let me save,
let's save that.
Hold that thought.
So you know they they make upenough to go ahead and have
Cole's bachelorette party.
Now his is much swankier.
Okay, actually it's not.
Now his is much swankier Okay,actually it's not.
(30:42):
His looks like a lot more fun.
The people there look like theyactually care about him.
It's not just a bunch ofhijitas who happen to be related
to him, or viejos, I guessthey'd be, but they are sort of
nondescript.
I guess they're the councilmenor whatever.
Seems like Cole and Melissaneed to get a social life and
socialize with people their ownage.
(31:02):
Anyway it's at the racetracks,they're all drinking beer.
Chase is like clinking glasses.
Hey, got a boy, good marriage,gulp, gulp, gulp.
Well, they look over at thecounter and we see, uh, craig
reardon.
So cole goes over and reardon'slike hey, dude, why don't I go
ahead and buy you a drink?
I'm really happy for melissa ifthat's what she wants.
I I'm glad she got it.
Even if it is you, it is whatit is.
(31:24):
Then they have a little beer.
I noticed right away thatReardon drains his glass where
Cole just sips it.
Then, out of nowhere, colesneaks him, he sucker, punches
him right across the face andwhat I tell you, when Raritan
(31:44):
first off, that was the mostbeautiful flail I've ever seen
in my life.
He really sells it.
He flies backwards, Ah, flailLands on the ground and then he
turns and he's smiling.
I guess we'll have to catch upone day.
Basically, like I'm going toget you, I'm going to get you,
get you, little dirty bastard.
You, I'm gonna get you watch,watch, or you least expect I'm
(32:05):
gonna get you.
Chase has witnessed the wholething.
It's probably the first time inlike eight months he's been
super proud of his son.
He's like yes, that's my boy,let's get to the getting.
So the day of the wedding hasarrived.
I can't help but notice itlooks like the exact same church
that Lance and Melissa gotmarried in Probably is, I don't
(32:26):
imagine Tuscany Valley ismassive long sleeve lace, poofy
sleeves a little bit.
She's got the little headrestor head piece seems like emma
(32:47):
made it as the best what is itcalled?
Made of honor?
As made of honor, um lance endsup showing up.
Melissa's like what the heck areyou doing here?
His grandmama invited him justto stir the pot even further.
So he talks to melissa beforethe wedding.
But you know what, there's nohard feelings.
He's just like okay,congratulations, you know what
I'm saying.
I'm happy for you, good luckwith everything.
(33:08):
I hope you have a great life.
She's like oh, my god, thankyou.
He does slightly reminisce abouttheir wedding, and I thought
they were gonna.
You know, I thought I was gonnahave a little quick, little
hooky, hooky in the closetsomewhere.
They didn't.
But he mentions that Colehasn't made it.
Well, cole's still at the house.
He's looking for his car keys.
He can't find them anywhere.
(33:31):
His mother comes floating downthe steps.
I'm sure she's on a littlesomething fun, maybe a little
edible or something, I'm notreally sure.
She starts to help him look forthe keys.
It's kind of clear that he's.
There's something elsebothering him.
He's having a little bit ofanxiety about the day in general
.
But she's like don't worryabout it.
This is your choice.
It's not too late.
If you want to bounce, listen,I can help you get out of here.
(33:52):
He's like mom, no, it's not evenenough.
I forget that.
They don't like melissa, butyou know they're enough.
They're not the most hands-onparents, chase and Maggie, not
really.
She's like listen, all I'msaying is doesn't matter how I
feel, it only matters how youfeel, baby, and nothing and I do
mean nothing is final.
(34:13):
Until you say I do Just thinkabout it.
You change your mind.
You change your mind.
It is what it is.
Okay, I guess I'm gonna go.
She goes to help him look forthe keys.
She goes upstairs and he's likestill looking downstairs for
stuff when the doorbell ringsand it's Angela and Charlie.
(34:33):
You know she came to be messy.
I told you.
She's just like let me ruinsomebody's life.
I can't be out here sheddingtears.
I have to shed blood.
Let me go mess up something.
So she's like baby boy, Iwanted to give this to you.
This was your great grandpa's.
It's like a wood.
I don't know if it's forcutting meat like a knife set,
(34:55):
but an older knife set.
It looks like you would carveturkey or something with it, but
it's been in the family.
I did not know that that was agift for men.
I'll have to keep that in mind.
I don't know if anybody wouldwant that, but I think gift for
men.
I'll have to keep that in mind.
I don't know if anybody wouldwant that, but I think it's nice
.
I didn't realize it was anheirloom, I guess is what I mean
.
So Cole is a little bit touched, like dang.
(35:15):
Thank you, great auntie Angie.
I appreciate it.
Barbecue next weekend with this.
What she says is oh well, youknow you might like it and I'm
sure your great grandpa would beso proud for you to have, and
you can pass it down to joseph,since he'll be the only child.
I was like well, you won't bean only child for long she goes.
I'm gonna listen and tell youoh, baby boy, after her accident
she was left barren.
(35:36):
She didn't tell you.
Oh, okay, my bad, I'm sorry.
I guess y'all gonna adopt.
That's cute or whatever.
Let me, I'll talk to you laterafter the ceremony.
Bye, baby.
She starts slinking out the door.
So now he's holding thesebutter knives, these giant
butter knives, and sporks andwhatnot, and he's like what?
The f?
Maggie comes gallivanting downthe stairs.
I found them, but he's botherednow like she can't have a baby,
(35:58):
as if she didn't bear his onlyson.
By the way, baby joseph doesshow up.
He looks adorable.
Cole is like pinning on hiscorsage and he said don't crush
my corsage.
Joseph has somewhere to beafter this.
He was going to recycle that.
You better not crush theseflowers, man.
So the ceremony begins.
(36:19):
Church is filled, music isthere, there's flowers, the
ambiance is perfect.
They're married in thisgorgeous, probably 300 year old
church from all the people theylove and it's like god, we're
finally here.
This is the moment you and mewere supposed to be here.
It was always supposed to be us.
That's the look, and she is sohappy, she is so proud.
(36:42):
And to add to that joy, chasehas put aside his disdain for
her so that he can walk her downthe aisle, looking like a whole
snack.
They get to the end.
The priest is like you know,you feel how you feel.
You want to make this thingreal.
She's like I absolutely do.
Do you know that?
Cole broods and clenches hisjaw and broods and clenches his
(37:06):
jaw for an uncomfortable amountof time.
And then this mother lover hasthe audacity.
In front of Joseph, god andeverybody in that church, he
decides you know what?
It ain't even worth it, leavesthis girl at the altar.
Now it is highly entertainingWatching everybody in the crowd
(37:30):
kind of give each other side eyelike, oh my God, is this for
real?
Oh, yes, he did.
Yes, he did, and you know what.
This is unforgivable.
I will forgive.
Well, I'm going to be honest,I'm not emotionally involved
enough with Cole to care one wayor another.
I was going to say I willforgive Gary before I forgive
(37:51):
Cole, but you know what I won't?
Yeah, I don't really careenough about Cole to care one
way or another.
This seems like such an odd wayto break a deal, though.
Why would this be the dealbreaker?
Because she didn't say anything.
I don't see what difference itmakes.
I really don't.
But again, it could be thetimes I don't know what the
temperature was like in 1985.
I think a lot of times as Iwatch these shows, I'm looking
(38:14):
at it through the lens of amodern woman, as I should.
That's the whole point of theshow.
But also I forget how close the80s were to the sixties and the
seventies before.
You know, women had as much.
I see women in roles ofauthority, I see women taking
charge all the time, and it'skind.
(38:35):
It's not hard to imagine thatthat wasn't always the case.
But it is hard to imagine thatthese sort of natural
occurrences maybe you can or youcan't have a child that being
like a scar or scarlet letterfor her for some reason, like
why would she be?
Why would that be a dealbreaker?
You wouldn't marry the womanwho's already bore your children
(38:56):
because she couldn't have anymore.
That seems outrageous to me.
It almost feels like badwriting, but I think that's part
of the the charm of shows likethis.
You have to keep that in mind,and it's going to be challenging
.
I think he's a child, though Ithink she doesn't need any more
kids because she has a big giantone who's been pissed off at
her.
Now that I think about it.
(39:17):
He's been brooding with herthis entire season.
Every time you see him he'stopless and like greasy for some
reason.
I guess he's competing withLance as the sex symbol, but
they fight in that bedroom morethan they do anything else.
So that's where we at Cole hadthe full gall to get all the way
dressed.
That would have pissed me off.
She was a hundred percentdressed.
(39:40):
You could have told me thisbefore we left the house.
You could have called thechurch.
Before I walked down that aisle, you chose to humiliate me, and
so help me, god.
I hope Melissa is back on herbully.
I hope she flips this on itshead.
There's no way he should beable to get away from this.
There'd not be no third wedding.
That's what I know.
All right guys, that's it.
(40:00):
That's all Little bit of a slowburn but, like I said, I still
have faith.
Seems like they put a pin inthe whole Julia thing.
Looks like we've got enemiesrevving back up.
Richard's still looking atAnne-Marie on the side of his
eye and now we have a little bitof unmerited bliss between Cole
and that girl, meli Mel, joinme next time as we jump back
(40:21):
into some soap opera debauchery.
I think we'll go over toMonsoleum.
Let's keep them on the westcoast, because they always do
the absolute most.
Hide your good water, stayhydrated, stay moisturized, mind
your own business and keep allof your drama on TV.
Bye.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome, or
welcome back to your stove floorof the official gathering place
for newbies, novices and OGdiehard fans of the golden age
of primetime.
I'm your host, jad, viewing andreviewing the Sophia Setzi's
primetime storyline of 1985.
So, whether you're new to thisor true to this, get back and
enjoy.
Tell the kids it's time to playoutside, or out of sight, tell
(00:20):
babe, no questions, suggestionsor concerns for the next 25 to
35 minutes.
Everyone else, in earshot, cool, quiet or kicked out are your
only options, because we arewatching our stories.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, this is so cool.
Hello, gorgeous.
Welcome back to another funlittle edition of so far.
(00:44):
I hope your day is shaping upwell.
I got found a little bit of awrench, but I think it's a
blessing.
In disguise, go ahead and kickoff your shoes, put on on your
silk robe, whatever you need todo, feel comfortable because we
(01:04):
are deep diving into our stories.
Oh, what a day.
We're back on the West Coast,where they always do the
absolute most, and Falcon Questis back on their bully.
Nothing like a little bit ofdestruction of an enemy.
You know, my enemy's enemy ismy friend.
That's all cute until yourenemy is done.
Then what is your enemy'sfriend, your enemy?
(01:27):
Did I say that?
Right, doesn't matter.
Go ahead and grab yourselfsomething bubbly and bright.
Let me tell y'all what happened.
I am actually going to beenjoying a already cracked open
bottle of sparkling Saratogawater.
Tell me why.
I'm in the kitchen and Inoticed my kid is sipping on
something Looks like water.
(01:48):
He goes mom, that water wasreally good.
What water are you talkingabout?
It was all the water in thatblue bottle.
So I'm looking in the fridge.
It must've been damn good,because tell me why there's only
a third of it left.
It better still sizzle.
Okay, we're good, we're stillin business.
In order to save myself somedignity, I am going to pour this
(02:14):
into a wine glass.
Today, I feel like it'sappropriate to watch Falcon
Crest with the wine glass.
Also, I have this hostagesituation of a charcuterie board
today.
It was basically boiled eggsand had a couple of reasons, but
we're going to make it do whatit do.
We're going to pretend likethis is fresh, crisp Sarasota
(02:37):
water that has been unopened anddrank by a kid who all of a
sudden developed a taste for it,and I am eating something
fantastic as we dive into seasonfour, episode 20 of falcon
crust forsaken all others in thekids defense.
This water is delicious.
I had been saving it like itwas fine wine in the
(02:58):
refrigerator for probably amonth.
I kind of forgot it was there.
So I can't believe it's a thirdgone To me.
It feels like 30 episodes.
Is God, that seems like a lot.
I know Grey's Anatomy maybedoes that from time to time, but
dang 30 episodes of acontinuous serial story seems
(03:18):
like it's a lot.
This one doesn't disappoint,though.
So when last we left Berse, akaReidman, aka Mr Still, both
your daughters and brandish aweapon at you so I can get your
falcon crest super secret templeof doom type Goonies gold rush,
I don't really know we sawDeBercy under a beam in an
(03:42):
abandoned mine shaft with HobbyLobby craft store jewelry in a
little tub.
That is just so disappointingto me.
I cannot stress enough.
The whole point of having moneyis so that you don't have to do
the mundane.
Why on earth wouldn't you justhire some expendables to go into
this cave and make sure thateverything was there?
(04:02):
What say ye?
They got down there and it wasnothing but like a bunch of old
dresses or something you didn't,cussed out, killed, maneuvered,
blew up your father, stolenhouses for dresses, for costumes
.
T'was not the case.
Chase, richard and Angela puttheir beef aside for two or
three episodes so that they canconcentrate on bringing down
(04:24):
this nincompoop.
It was odd to me, and I totallyforgot, that they still don't
really know why Reidman wentdown to those mineshafts.
They are none the wiser as towhy he did that.
They just know he was part ofthe cartel and as far as they're
all concerned, that was thebiggest threat.
Now that all of the enemies seemto be at bay, it's time to
focus on other things and forthree or so people on this
(04:48):
episode, there are big, bigchoices to make.
You have to make choices thatare going to change the course
of history and your life as weknow it here.
On this here, falcon Crest,we're going to go ahead and
start with the bit players,because that's how we get down
On this episode.
It happens to be Richard.
Now I don't know if Richard hadan.
Oh, it just gosh.
(05:10):
A lot of times things are comingto me as I'm saying them out
loud for the first time, richardis walking around with a cane
this episode.
I thought maybe he just wantedto see.
No, I didn't.
I'm not even going to sit hereand lie.
I knew he didn't want to lookcool, but I thought the actor
must have had an accident andneeded to came.
But as I'm saying it out loud,he all, he too, escaped the mine
(05:33):
shaft.
He did a couple tuck and rolls.
His stunt double was doubling.
I don't know where they found asix foot four string bean in a
mcgruff, the crime dog jacket orhell.
Maybe it was two little kidsstanding on each other's
shoulder.
I don't know.
But all that ripping andrunning and rolling and rocking
in that cave must have shook hisankles or, you know, loosened
(05:55):
his Achilles tendon or something.
So he shows up to meet Terryand, for whatever reason,
they're not meeting at the horseplace, they're not meeting at
the race at Tuscany Downs,they're meeting at just some
no-name hot dog stand on theside of the road.
He pulls up in a limo becausehe's very discreet and Terry
(06:16):
comes out with layers and gloves.
People help me out my West Coastsoap fiends.
I understand there's differentclimates, like I understand
people in Maine or up north,maybe even Seattle in the United
States.
I'm sure people in the UK couldprobably say the same thing.
I understand it's chilly, butis it chilly enough for layers
(06:39):
all year long?
I understand San Francisco nearthe bay is a little bit choppy.
I was a kid.
I'm really fascinated withAlcatraz.
For some reason I think I saw aprison movie on HBO.
Oh God, that could be a totalother series.
All the things I had absolutelyno business watching as a kid.
Anyway, I remember readingabout it.
(07:02):
Later on I kind of got intothat whole situation and they
were saying that the watersthere are so like it's really
really choppy, they placed theprison on this rock for that.
For that reason, like it wasgoing to be difficult to get to
and from.
So if ever someone escaped, thechances of them like swimming
(07:24):
to shore were going to be slimto none.
So I understand like the breezeoff the ocean is going to be
quite frigid, but it's also thepacific.
So I'm very, very confused asto why terry and richard are
dressed in all these diagonallayers in the middle of the day
at this random hot dog shackwhile they're ordering their hot
dogs.
Terry reveals intel she got fromthe manimal in their little
(07:48):
tryst morning.
Previous Some higher up judgeearly in the morning and why
this is important.
I'm sure I don't know.
I had all but forgotten whyTerry was chasing in behind the
manimal it was Craig Reardon.
Richard quickly reminds herthat if she has any more
information, she had better tellhim with the quickness, or he
(08:09):
was going to make sure theFlorida man was going to be
released from whatever prisonhe's in so that he can wreak
havoc on her life.
She's like okay, okay, chill,richard, chill, chill, chill.
He's on xyz, he's on him andAngela.
I don't know why he's meetingwith the judge.
That's all he told me.
I, I'm sorry, damn Damn, Iforgot that.
She is Letting the manimaldisrespect her and her Nordstrom
(08:30):
rack outfits, all so that shecan not be harassed and haunted
by Joel the Florida man.
I would take my chances if Iwere her, but that's just me.
I don't really remember whyRichard cares about the manimal
or Angela's plan.
The manimal seems to be justthis throwaway, not a throwaway
character.
He's replacing Phillip and Iguess he's young enough to be a
(08:53):
quote unquote sex symbol.
It's still quite boring.
He doesn't really pose a threatoutside of Angela.
But I suppose Richard, oldhabits die hard.
He can't give up that spyingand just keeping an eye on
everyone so that he knows everymove that they make.
Anyway, he gets back to hisnewly decorated office and he
gets this little postcard thatsays everybody wants Francesca,
(09:16):
or something to that effect.
Remember, francesca is a womanhe dropped leather pants Pam for
, who turned out to be AngelaChanning's sister.
They got the same daddy.
Francesca was disgusted by theway they treated family over in
the Americas.
She did a little tarantuladance, she clip-clopped and
crip-walked all over everybodyand then got on the first plane
(09:37):
to Italy where she can reviveher own vineyard.
So I think at first he'sthinking, okay, is this me?
What is this about?
Francesca is his brand.
Eventually we find out that itis this new hot shot, sort of PR
advertising woman.
Surprise, surprise, her name isCassandra Wilder.
We have a late entrance, Iwould say.
(09:59):
She is showing up on episode 20, season four of Falcon Crest.
She's clearly going to be thenew love interest.
She's very pretty, she's kindof a high powered advertising
agent.
I suppose it feels a little bitlike a PR lady.
And this is where I don'tregret my decision to kind of
compare apples to apples.
(10:20):
Yes, we don't have the versusversus anymore.
I might bring that back, butThink about it.
On Dynasty, we have Tracy as aPR extraordinaire, who's a
little bit of trouble, and thenwe have Leslie on Dallas.
All of this is season four.
All of these women are goingafter these high powered men.
It's not very original.
(10:41):
I'm like dang, you would thinkthey would scramble this a
little bit better.
But no, why reinvent the wheel,as they say.
So this feels like a little bitof a borrowed storyline.
You just got to tweak a coupleof things in order to make it
different and we'll just sort ofsee how this turns out.
But Cassandra Wilder is notcoming on.
(11:02):
She's not really feelingRichard, or at least she doesn't
appear to be feeling him.
She says I'm a professionalwoman, I don't mix business with
pleasure.
Yeah, that's what they all say.
Terry can breathe easy becausethe man has work to do.
He has to go to Angela's to tryto sort things out.
I suppose Now this is where youstart to see the facade break a
(11:23):
little bit.
I think we're about to have alittle bit of drama between
Angela and he because of this.
You know, they found Julia.
Julia is alive and well.
However, it isn't like they canreally tell anybody.
Julia's already tried to turnherself in once and they just
laughed at her.
So now that there is even moreproof she's back in her own
county.
Things could get very, verymessy very quickly.
(11:46):
Luckily, falcon Crest seems tobe a sprawling property.
The chances of someone justshowing up unannounced, other
than to kidnap, are slim to none.
She can walk about the property, she can walk about the house
pretty freely.
So there is the business ofdeciding how she's going to live
, and then there's the businessof let's tell.
(12:09):
Let's tell Lance, because Lanceis none the wiser.
He's been out sleeping withMaureen, or whatever her name is
.
Craig the animal and Angeladefinitely disagree on how to
tell Lance and what to do withJulia.
Ray Riordan is a lawyer andhe's Angela's lawyer.
The best thing here, in hisopinion, is hey, we got to
figure out how we're going toturn her in.
(12:34):
Angela's like over my dead body.
Absolutely not.
I refuse to do that.
I can't.
I can't do that to her again.
She's showing all theseemotions.
She's a loving mother.
Emma's in the room she hears asshe starts to flip out.
Big mother, if you had justremembered and listened to me,
then this never would havehappened when I was telling you
she was alive and she was like Iknow, darling, I'll never doubt
you again.
Give her two episodes.
Then, to add insult to injury,emma says at least Reidman
(12:57):
listened to her and took care ofher.
He gave her someone to talk to.
Madam, that is, that's astretch.
That's a stretch at best.
I mean yes, yes, he pretendedto be a psychiatrist.
Yes, he did give her food andshelter.
However, god my out, myargument is falling apart as I
(13:18):
say it out loud, it's not thesame thing.
It was all for.
It was a ruse, it was all ameans to an end.
He simply wanted information.
Once he got it, who knows whathe was going to do?
He'll blow up his own father.
The Channings are, you know,might as well be prepared to be
men's meat.
You're like there's no way youwere going to survive that.
But Emma is beside herself andshe goes running upstairs and I
(13:40):
do believe, ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in Falcone
Crust history, first or second,I feel like she might have
almost cried.
Once angela channing loses it alittle bit, you can tell she
wants to chase emma.
She doesn't scoff at her, Imean, she's as beside herself as
(14:01):
angela will allow herself toget.
She's like god.
Do you think peter rabbit diedinstead of reedman?
What the heck?
She's upset because she's likethese people are not apt to run
this empire.
God, what if I had effed aroundand died?
What if I had gotten shot?
What if the topless tanya hadcalled my bluff, shot me with
that pistol?
I would have bled out rightthere in the front door.
(14:21):
And you know craig is likeyou're right, you're right,
you're right here here.
So Angela allows two or threetears to fall from her eyes and
Craig Reardon hands her hishandkerchief.
She wipes her eyes but then theold lady in her kicks in.
She starts wait, is this silkman?
(14:43):
You too much money?
I love it.
You know it's beautiful to seeher show a little bit of emotion
from time to time, butunfortunately or fortunately,
depending on what you likethat's going to cost the rest of
the cast dearly.
Those two tears in a veryshallow bucket are going to cost
(15:06):
somebody some pain andheartache.
She can't be out here showingemotions.
I also need to correct myselfwhen I said Terry had on layers
and layers and layers.
I'm thinking about a differentscene she actually had on the
exact same or very, very closeto the same outfit Angela had
when she got knocked out, nottwo episodes ago.
But the point remains.
I did not realize that ifyou're inland I can't imagine
(15:30):
you'd need all these layers inthe middle of the day.
Tv shows always do that, thoughthe characters are never
actually dressed for what theyneed to be.
You ever notice that, like thekids in school are showing their
midriff, they're wearing justGod knows whatever the
cheerleaders have on theiroutfits every single day?
Totally ruined high school forme when I got there and realized
that was all a farce.
(15:50):
We got to talk about the choiceshere on this episode.
So the choice is made prettyquickly and kind of unanimously
that Lance needs to know thathis mother is alive.
So he comes home from work onenight and he's just trying to
get upstairs and wash a littlesweat and little stank off of
him.
All he wants is a hot shower.
I do find it ironic that Lanceis a sort of man who will
(16:13):
canoodle with every woman in thevalley in a hotel motel holiday
and barefoot but naked in thesheets.
But he won't use the hotelbathroom.
Make it make sense.
He wants to clean himself offproperly at home.
I don't know, Maybe he has acustom body wash, I'm sure I
(16:35):
don't know.
But when he gets there he seesJulia and she explains
everything.
I'm just going to kind ofcondense that.
She explains everything andAngela does her due diligence to
convince the judge whoconvicted Julia that Angela
would stop at nothing to makehis miserable existence all the
(16:55):
more miserable if he doesn'tturn his head or reevaluate or
let's sort of ignore theprevious conviction.
My daughter was absolutely outof her mind.
She was a kookaloo times 15.
She had no businessrepresenting herself in court.
We're going to call it a mishaw.
We're going to do all thethings you couldn't really do in
real life but you can on FalconCrest, because we got money, we
(17:18):
got wine, we got mighty morphinlawyer and an old lady with a
grudge because she let her.
She let someone see her crack.
So the judge is like okay, fine, fine, fine, I have enough dirt
on me.
I really don't want no problemswith you or your daughter.
Fine, by the end of the show itis decided that Julia will go
(17:39):
to a convent where nuns willkeep a nice eye on her to make
sure she doesn't pop off andshoot anybody or do anything
weird or crawl under a tunnel.
She's excited because she cando wine science up there.
Kind of sounds like a cover,sounds like a laundering
situation.
I don't think none's runningthis.
I think this is probably amoney laundering station for
(18:02):
mafioso types, maybe even thecartel, who knows.
But by the end of the episodelance and his mother have
reconciled.
I'm not going to say, you know,every time I say Lance's acting
gets better, it is better.
I think in general conversationI think of it like learning a
(18:22):
foreign language.
You probably do well with theeveryday.
May I have some coffee?
May I sleep with you?
Are you on birth control?
He gets away with that.
But when it's time to fullyemote and sort of be in the
moment and embrace, kind ofstumbles all over himself.
But that's okay.
Everything ain't for everybodyand he had a much bigger career
(18:43):
as an action star.
So I'm not going to hate.
I will hate on this next littledecision he makes.
So you know he and Lorraine aregoing back and forth about this
brand new Bambino in her womb.
She wants to have an abortionbecause she is afraid that
Richard is going to put Lance inprison.
(19:03):
If Richard is already pissedthat he's dating her.
How much more pissed is hegoing to be when he finds out
that she's carrying his child?
I don't understand that trainof thought, but you know what it
works.
So they, you know they'refighting, they're not fighting.
He yelled at her the last timethey were at the hotel motel
holiday inn.
Well, this time, right afteryou know post-coitus, he says
(19:25):
hey, I got to have a present foryou.
And he pulls out a box and it'sthis like a yellow teddy bear,
orange teddy bear, and he goeswell, it's for all of us, it's
for us and the baby.
She goes listen, dude, I'm nothaving the baby.
I've already told you I'm notgonna do it.
He knows when her appointmentis, but he's not taking no for
(19:47):
an answer.
Okay, hear me out.
I think in this situation I feellike if she wants to have an
abortion and he doesn't want herto have an abortion, I wish
they gave a better reason thanoh well, richard's going to be
angry with you like, well, no,he already is.
What exactly are you losing?
Y'all are still around.
(20:07):
If he was going to put a hitout on Lance, I feel like it
would have happened already, butthis scene just comes off as
super duper, whiny, very, veryimmature on both parties, like
nobody's really making any sense.
I almost wish she was likelaundering money or she had
stolen something.
It just I just don't feel likethe baby is enough leverage in
(20:30):
this case.
I know that goes against mybeliefs.
When it comes to soap operas.
Yes, babies are leveraged.
Not in this case, though.
Not in this case.
Well, that's irrelevant.
What she wants is veryirrelevant because she goes to
have her appointment to gothrough with the abortion.
Tell you what the doctors andlawyers on these shows are.
(20:51):
The moral compass is extremely,extremely strong.
The lawyer on Dallas didn'twant the Ewings to get a divorce
.
Well, doctor on Falcon Crestdoesn't want her to have the
abortion, even though that ishis bread and butter business.
So he's telling her girl, areyou sure?
I mean, you're very healthy,you're still so young, you
really don't have to do this.
(21:12):
Blah, blah, blah.
But before she can really sayanything else, in walks the
sheriff.
Can you imagine there's so manyHIPAA violations in this scene?
Almost vomited, she, thesheriff, walks in with like a
cease and desist.
As far as medical, I don't knowif that's even a real thing.
He has some sort of paperworkthat puts a restraining order on
(21:34):
her and the doctor, I don'tknow.
Yeah, I don't know, I don'tknow.
Insert any absurdity you wantthere, it doesn't really matter.
The point is she is now legallybound and bar, legally bound to
carrying the baby and barredfrom having the abortion because
the alleged father of the baby,uh, put a restraining order or
(21:57):
something against her.
Make it make sense.
That's taking to the extreme,but that's what we watch tv for.
Right, I already know this isgoing to blow up into something
crazy.
It's also weird that Richardhasn't found out that this girl
was pregnant.
She's been tailed, she'sbasically followed everywhere
she goes, but for some reasonhe's just kind of missing that
(22:17):
detail.
First come love, then comesmarriage, then comes so-and-so
with a baby carriage.
I remember that.
I remember crying in elementarywhen someone was saying that
stupidity to me and a boy.
I didn't like it would freak meout.
I take everything so seriously.
But you know what?
Sometimes a baby comes first,sometimes a marriage comes first
(22:41):
and then you fall in love later.
Things happen, and unfortunatelyon this show, unfortunately on
this show, the couple of thehour, melissa and Brooding Cole,
are having a little bit oftrouble.
Remember he fell for her veryhard.
Then she messed around and gotpregnant, but then she wanted
(23:01):
the, the money and the power.
So she married Lance.
That didn't really work out.
Then it did work out for alittle bit.
Then it didn't work out so much.
Now she's back with Cole.
She is a reformed woman.
She has turned away from herwicked ways, except for the
occasional romp here and therewith Richard.
You know I'm saying remembershe was totally sleeping with
him the entire time she waspregnant.
(23:21):
I forgot about that.
Anyway, melissa, she's turnedher back on that.
She is a reformed woman.
She wants to be an honest womanand she wants to get married to
Cole and she wants to put thatwhole debacle of a first
marriage all the way behind her.
Cole tries to convince her hey,why don't we just elope?
Absolutely not.
(23:42):
I'm going to do this like thisis my first wedding ever.
I'm going to act like I don'tknow what anybody's talking
about, nevermind that we have afull grown, talking baby walking
around, nevermind that my lastname is Cumsin.
That ish didn't happen.
It was my day.
New wedding, new dress, neweverything, everything which is
(24:03):
cool.
But when you think about it,her and cole have both been god,
they've both been married andwell, I suppose cole is a little
bit different.
Cole is a widower.
She is divorced, or is aboutshe's sort of divorced, just not
through the church.
Anyway, it's all about Melly,mel and her wedding.
But god, my issue with Colestands.
(24:24):
He has a hair print trigger.
He's too easily provoked.
It doesn't really matter whatyou say.
He's gonna start brooding andflipping around.
I want to know what was goingon during this season.
Was he dating one of thewriters or whatever?
Was he trying to stretch it outa little bit?
Was he?
Was he auditioning for anotherrole?
I don't know, but brooding,pissed off.
Cole makes several appearancesthis episode.
(24:47):
So Melissa has a I guess youcould call it a little wedding
dinner shower where the ladiesall meet up at this little
restaurant.
Everybody puts on their finestfur.
That's what I'm talking about,west Coast.
Do you get to wear fur coats?
I doubt it.
Anyway, that's irrelevant.
Emma brings her some bunnyslippers with a straight face.
(25:07):
Terry and Maggie show up.
You know what I'm saying.
They got to support theniece-in-law and daughter-in-law
.
Angela shows up.
Julia would have made it, buton the account of her supposedly
supposed to be dead and afugitive.
She couldn't risk it, shecouldn't call her PO because
(25:28):
she's supposed to be dead.
Anyway, the gifts are beingpassed out and Angela is sitting
there with that chest-showergrin and I'm like, okay, she's
back on her bully, she's on one.
She passes Melissa a gift andit's her perfume and Melissa's
kind of touched it first, likeAngela, oh my God, you
remembered, I didn't know youwould do this.
(25:50):
This is so sweet.
She starts spraying it andStevie, y'all smell it, Girl,
don't they smell good?
And Angela's like, oh, melissa,I don't want you to ever think
that I could ever forget yourscent.
Basically, I'm on you, I'm onyou like white on rice, I'm on
you like stank on dookie.
Don't let me catch you slippinglittle girl.
(26:11):
And so Melissa's like, okay,damn, it's like that, angela, we
still on this.
So, uh, I think I can'tremember if it's terry or it had
to be terry, because nobodyelse cares I think they start
talking about like more kids.
And melissa's like oh, you know, I don't know, we think
(26:31):
joseph's.
Probably enough right now.
So when everybody leaves arestaurant, angela kind of walks
slowly with, uh, melissa, shegoes.
You handle that tacky commentby Terry so wonderfully, so much
poise.
Melissa says well, whatever doyou mean?
Angela, knowing good and well,she knows what she means.
Melissa had gone to the doctorpreviously because Paul had made
(26:53):
an offhanded comment sayingwhat if we named our daughter
Margaret after her grandmother?
And I'm like, who is Margaret?
Forgot that could be Maggie.
Oh, yes, I guess that isMaggie's name, margaret, and
Melissa's like yeah, sure, thenshe goes to the doctor and she
can't have any more kids.
I kind of forgot about that.
(27:13):
I forgot what sort of accidentshe had after Joseph.
But according to the doctor,she's probably can't carry a
baby.
But there are other options.
She's rich, her husband's rich,his parents are rich.
We could probably get you agood adoption.
Or if you want like the baby tobe yours, we can do a surrogate
.
No big deal, I can send youinformation.
(27:33):
I know a guy I can hook you up.
Well, she didn't tell anybodythis.
Melissa didn't speak of this toanyone, but somehow Angela
knows I'm assuming she knowsbecause she lived in the house
with her all this time.
So she goes.
That was so tacky of Terry toask that and I guess they don't
know that you can't have anymore children.
(27:54):
Okay, remember how I said a fewminutes ago that usually
children are collateral, they'reweaponized.
This is weaponizing a child orthe lack of a child.
You see what I'm saying.
This is a differentcircumstance.
Now, even now I have to admitI'm a modern woman.
Times are very, very different.
(28:15):
I don't think anybody wouldweaponize that.
I guess somebody is evil enoughto do it.
But that doesn't seem like adeal breaker, especially since
this is the first time Cole everbrought it up, and also, you
already have a son with him.
So it isn't like he's waitingon another heir, he has a boy.
He has one of the mostbrilliant children ever.
I don't think he's reallytripping like that.
(28:35):
And even if he were to find out, you could just be like okay,
well, I mean, I didn't know ifit was for sure.
Like it's, doctors say thingsall the time hell, crystal's
pregnant, so why can't melissabe pregnant anyway?
And she's like oh, I just wantto make amends with you.
Blah, blah, blah here, girl,take my car.
She gets in the car and it iscraig reardon in the back seat,
(28:57):
with champagne and flowers again.
This scene is really, reallydumb.
He tells her it's a kidnapping.
She's like drop me off at thegas station.
I certainly won't do that.
I'm going to drop you off thehouse.
Well, they must take a reallylong time, because Cole starts
to get worried.
He calls over to Falcon Crestlike, hey, angela, I'm sorry,
(29:17):
I'm looking for Melissa.
Did she stop by there?
Oh no, last time I saw her shewas getting in a car with Craig
Reardon.
My nephew hangs up now.
Cole good and pissed off.
And then here comes Melissacoming into the house, sort of
giggling like oh it's so silly.
I went out to the car and thenwhen I opened the door, craig
Reardon was in it.
So you know, cole, I'm gonna,I'm gonna say this is justified.
(29:39):
He's gonna be big to be big madabout this.
They start to argue and theystart to argue and then it
carries on to the next day wherethey have this dress rehearsal
or undress rehearsal at Chaseand Maggie's going through the
motions of their upcomingnuptials.
They embarrass me personally.
(30:00):
They embarrass me personally.
Acted a fool in front of thispriest who has already decided
to kind of look the other waybecause y'all are scandalous in
the way you got together.
Now you want to act a fool infront of him, act like y'all
can't stand each other.
So they have the stupid littlebickery argument.
Everybody in the room wasuncomfortable and probably
annoyed.
(30:20):
I know, at my big age now I'mlike, dude, please don't call me
out of the house for nofoolishness.
And if y'all think, if you'regoing to well, let me save,
let's save that.
Hold that thought.
So you know they they make upenough to go ahead and have
Cole's bachelorette party.
Now his is much swankier.
Okay, actually it's not.
Now his is much swankier Okay,actually it's not.
(30:42):
His looks like a lot more fun.
The people there look like theyactually care about him.
It's not just a bunch ofhijitas who happen to be related
to him, or viejos, I guessthey'd be, but they are sort of
nondescript.
I guess they're the councilmenor whatever.
Seems like Cole and Melissaneed to get a social life and
socialize with people their ownage.
(31:02):
Anyway it's at the racetracks,they're all drinking beer.
Chase is like clinking glasses.
Hey, got a boy, good marriage,gulp, gulp, gulp.
Well, they look over at thecounter and we see, uh, craig
reardon.
So cole goes over and reardon'slike hey, dude, why don't I go
ahead and buy you a drink?
I'm really happy for melissa ifthat's what she wants.
I I'm glad she got it.
Even if it is you, it is whatit is.
(31:24):
Then they have a little beer.
I noticed right away thatReardon drains his glass where
Cole just sips it.
Then, out of nowhere, colesneaks him, he sucker, punches
him right across the face andwhat I tell you, when Raritan
(31:44):
first off, that was the mostbeautiful flail I've ever seen
in my life.
He really sells it.
He flies backwards, Ah, flailLands on the ground and then he
turns and he's smiling.
I guess we'll have to catch upone day.
Basically, like I'm going toget you, I'm going to get you,
get you, little dirty bastard.
You, I'm gonna get you watch,watch, or you least expect I'm
(32:05):
gonna get you.
Chase has witnessed the wholething.
It's probably the first time inlike eight months he's been
super proud of his son.
He's like yes, that's my boy,let's get to the getting.
So the day of the wedding hasarrived.
I can't help but notice itlooks like the exact same church
that Lance and Melissa gotmarried in Probably is, I don't
(32:26):
imagine Tuscany Valley ismassive long sleeve lace, poofy
sleeves a little bit.
She's got the little headrestor head piece seems like emma
(32:47):
made it as the best what is itcalled?
Made of honor?
As made of honor, um lance endsup showing up.
Melissa's like what the heck areyou doing here?
His grandmama invited him justto stir the pot even further.
So he talks to melissa beforethe wedding.
But you know what, there's nohard feelings.
He's just like okay,congratulations, you know what
I'm saying.
I'm happy for you, good luckwith everything.
(33:08):
I hope you have a great life.
She's like oh, my god, thankyou.
He does slightly reminisce abouttheir wedding, and I thought
they were gonna.
You know, I thought I was gonnahave a little quick, little
hooky, hooky in the closetsomewhere.
They didn't.
But he mentions that Colehasn't made it.
Well, cole's still at the house.
He's looking for his car keys.
He can't find them anywhere.
(33:31):
His mother comes floating downthe steps.
I'm sure she's on a littlesomething fun, maybe a little
edible or something, I'm notreally sure.
She starts to help him look forthe keys.
It's kind of clear that he's.
There's something elsebothering him.
He's having a little bit ofanxiety about the day in general
.
But she's like don't worryabout it.
This is your choice.
It's not too late.
If you want to bounce, listen,I can help you get out of here.
(33:52):
He's like mom, no, it's not evenenough.
I forget that.
They don't like melissa, butyou know they're enough.
They're not the most hands-onparents, chase and Maggie, not
really.
She's like listen, all I'msaying is doesn't matter how I
feel, it only matters how youfeel, baby, and nothing and I do
mean nothing is final.
(34:13):
Until you say I do Just thinkabout it.
You change your mind.
You change your mind.
It is what it is.
Okay, I guess I'm gonna go.
She goes to help him look forthe keys.
She goes upstairs and he's likestill looking downstairs for
stuff when the doorbell ringsand it's Angela and Charlie.
(34:33):
You know she came to be messy.
I told you.
She's just like let me ruinsomebody's life.
I can't be out here sheddingtears.
I have to shed blood.
Let me go mess up something.
So she's like baby boy, Iwanted to give this to you.
This was your great grandpa's.
It's like a wood.
I don't know if it's forcutting meat like a knife set,
(34:55):
but an older knife set.
It looks like you would carveturkey or something with it, but
it's been in the family.
I did not know that that was agift for men.
I'll have to keep that in mind.
I don't know if anybody wouldwant that, but I think gift for
men.
I'll have to keep that in mind.
I don't know if anybody wouldwant that, but I think it's nice
.
I didn't realize it was anheirloom, I guess is what I mean
.
So Cole is a little bit touched, like dang.
(35:15):
Thank you, great auntie Angie.
I appreciate it.
Barbecue next weekend with this.
What she says is oh well, youknow you might like it and I'm
sure your great grandpa would beso proud for you to have, and
you can pass it down to joseph,since he'll be the only child.
I was like well, you won't bean only child for long she goes.
I'm gonna listen and tell youoh, baby boy, after her accident
she was left barren.
(35:36):
She didn't tell you.
Oh, okay, my bad, I'm sorry.
I guess y'all gonna adopt.
That's cute or whatever.
Let me, I'll talk to you laterafter the ceremony.
Bye, baby.
She starts slinking out the door.
So now he's holding thesebutter knives, these giant
butter knives, and sporks andwhatnot, and he's like what?
The f?
Maggie comes gallivanting downthe stairs.
I found them, but he's botherednow like she can't have a baby,
(35:58):
as if she didn't bear his onlyson.
By the way, baby joseph doesshow up.
He looks adorable.
Cole is like pinning on hiscorsage and he said don't crush
my corsage.
Joseph has somewhere to beafter this.
He was going to recycle that.
You better not crush theseflowers, man.
So the ceremony begins.
(36:19):
Church is filled, music isthere, there's flowers, the
ambiance is perfect.
They're married in thisgorgeous, probably 300 year old
church from all the people theylove and it's like god, we're
finally here.
This is the moment you and mewere supposed to be here.
It was always supposed to be us.
That's the look, and she is sohappy, she is so proud.
(36:42):
And to add to that joy, chasehas put aside his disdain for
her so that he can walk her downthe aisle, looking like a whole
snack.
They get to the end.
The priest is like you know,you feel how you feel.
You want to make this thingreal.
She's like I absolutely do.
Do you know that?
Cole broods and clenches hisjaw and broods and clenches his
(37:06):
jaw for an uncomfortable amountof time.
And then this mother lover hasthe audacity.
In front of Joseph, god andeverybody in that church, he
decides you know what?
It ain't even worth it, leavesthis girl at the altar.
Now it is highly entertainingWatching everybody in the crowd
(37:30):
kind of give each other side eyelike, oh my God, is this for
real?
Oh, yes, he did.
Yes, he did, and you know what.
This is unforgivable.
I will forgive.
Well, I'm going to be honest,I'm not emotionally involved
enough with Cole to care one wayor another.
I was going to say I willforgive Gary before I forgive
(37:51):
Cole, but you know what I won't?
Yeah, I don't really careenough about Cole to care one
way or another.
This seems like such an odd wayto break a deal, though.
Why would this be the dealbreaker?
Because she didn't say anything.
I don't see what difference itmakes.
I really don't.
But again, it could be thetimes I don't know what the
temperature was like in 1985.
I think a lot of times as Iwatch these shows, I'm looking
(38:14):
at it through the lens of amodern woman, as I should.
That's the whole point of theshow.
But also I forget how close the80s were to the sixties and the
seventies before.
You know, women had as much.
I see women in roles ofauthority, I see women taking
charge all the time, and it'skind.
(38:35):
It's not hard to imagine thatthat wasn't always the case.
But it is hard to imagine thatthese sort of natural
occurrences maybe you can or youcan't have a child that being
like a scar or scarlet letterfor her for some reason, like
why would she be?
Why would that be a dealbreaker?
You wouldn't marry the womanwho's already bore your children
(38:56):
because she couldn't have anymore.
That seems outrageous to me.
It almost feels like badwriting, but I think that's part
of the the charm of shows likethis.
You have to keep that in mind,and it's going to be challenging
.
I think he's a child, though Ithink she doesn't need any more
kids because she has a big giantone who's been pissed off at
her.
Now that I think about it.
(39:17):
He's been brooding with herthis entire season.
Every time you see him he'stopless and like greasy for some
reason.
I guess he's competing withLance as the sex symbol, but
they fight in that bedroom morethan they do anything else.
So that's where we at Cole hadthe full gall to get all the way
dressed.
That would have pissed me off.
She was a hundred percentdressed.
(39:40):
You could have told me thisbefore we left the house.
You could have called thechurch.
Before I walked down that aisle, you chose to humiliate me, and
so help me, god.
I hope Melissa is back on herbully.
I hope she flips this on itshead.
There's no way he should beable to get away from this.
There'd not be no third wedding.
That's what I know.
All right guys, that's it.
(40:00):
That's all Little bit of a slowburn but, like I said, I still
have faith.
Seems like they put a pin inthe whole Julia thing.
Looks like we've got enemiesrevving back up.
Richard's still looking atAnne-Marie on the side of his
eye and now we have a little bitof unmerited bliss between Cole
and that girl, meli Mel, joinme next time as we jump back
(40:21):
into some soap opera debauchery.
I think we'll go over toMonsoleum.
Let's keep them on the westcoast, because they always do
the absolute most.
Hide your good water, stayhydrated, stay moisturized, mind
your own business and keep allof your drama on TV.
Bye.
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