You've never seen a trial quite like this! In "The Trial," Falcon Crest delivers courtroom drama with a corrupt twist as Richard Channing secretly bribes the judge to ensure Lance's conviction. Despite Angela's protests and Lance's emotional testimony about his love for his grandmother, justice hangs in the balance while the truth remains buried. This episode, masterfully directed by Robert Foxworth himself, showcases a remarkable moment when real-life connections elevate on-screen performances. The genuine emotion between Lorenzo Lamas and Jane Wyman—his actual godmother—creates a rare instance of authentic vulnerability in soap opera territory, proving that sometimes the most powerful scenes come from real relationships Meanwhile, heartbreak and opportunity collide for Melissa and Cole when they learn surrogacy might be their only path to another child. Just as they process this news, Melissa's beautiful cousin Robin arrives with perfect timing and unmistakable chemistry with Cole. Is this convenient coincidence or the setup for a complicated entanglement?< The mysterious Cassandra and her brother continue their covert infiltration of the Channing family, harboring secrets about their mother's connection to Angela. Their calculated approach to Richard and Emma suggests a revenge plot years in the making. Similarly, Connie Giannini's interest in Chase appears more personal than professional, creating potential fractures in his marriage to Maggie. Beyond the drama, Falcon Crest continues to surprise with its sophisticated fashion choices that defy the stereotypical 80s aesthetic. The elegant, timeless styling of characters like Angela, Connie, and even the antagonists provides a visual feast that feels surprisingly relevant decades later. What will Lance's fate be? How far will Richard's corruption extend? And what hidden connections tie these newcomers to the Channing dynasty? Pour yourself something "bubbly and bright" and join me as we unravel the tangled web of Falcon Crest's fourth season.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Testing testing 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
You look amazing.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, welcome, or welcome back
to Soap Floor, the officialgathering place for newbies,
novices and OG diehard fans ofthe golden age of primetime.
I'm your host, jed Ewing, andwe'll be doing the Stokias
(00:23):
Betzius Primetime Trial of 1984or 85.
So, whether you're new to thisor new to this, sit back and
enjoy.
Tell the kids it's time to playoutside or outside.
Tell they have no questions,suggestions or concerns for the
next 25 to 35 minutes.
Everyone else in the air show.
(00:43):
You can be cool, you can bequiet and you can be kicked out
because we are watching ourstories.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, this is Boatman.
Hello, gorgeous, hello,gorgeous.
(01:13):
Welcome back to another funlittle edition of so far.
I hope your day is shaping upwell.
I am absolutely on the edge ofmy seat for the trial of the
century well, not even close.
So what y'all up to?
What are y'all doing today?
No matter what it is, I hopeyou are safe, I hope you are
enjoying your time and I hopeyou are ready to get into this
(01:34):
episode of falcon crest.
I know what you're saying, jed.
Didn't we just do falcon crest?
Yes, we did, but somebody was alittle bit overzealous with the
episodes this season, so we'regoing to have to double and
triple these up just a littlebit so that we can have the
season finales all at the sametime.
That is my total goal.
I want to jump into a littlebit of fan mail before we get
(01:57):
into the episode.
Today you guys have been superhelpful, super vocal, whether or
not to go to South Fork.
A couple of other opinionsabout the male pageant.
I haven't seen that in a while.
Listen, I'm here for it.
Go ahead and pour yourself upsomething bubbly and bright as
we jump into season four.
Episode 23 of Falcon Crest, theTrial.
(02:19):
I've said it once, I've said ita hundred thousand times they
are not interested in beingoriginal with these titles, also
not original with the stories.
I'm like when was the last timewe had a trial on this
particular soap opera?
Is this not trial?
At least number three or so?
Every season it seems likesomebody is going to court and
(02:39):
behind sets them.
I remember a while back, like along time ago, someone told me
that Dallas and Falcon Crestoften shared writers, like they
just kind of flip back and forthbetween each other.
I can see that Falcon Crestcoming in as a final leg.
It lets you do a little bitmore People sort of forgotten
storylines, and there's nothingnew under the sun as long as you
(03:02):
put your original spin on it.
That's all that matters, and Ithink they did a pretty good job
this episode.
However, come on now.
Lance, going to trial withsomeone who doesn't want to
press charges, it's just, it'skind of silly.
But if this is what they need,this is what they need.
I posed a question a coupleepisodes ago about whether or
not I should truck on down toDallas and have a weekend, have
(03:25):
myself a good old country timeat the South Fork Experience.
It is a weekend in August wherethe cast of the show the
original cast of the show isgoing to be on site at the
actual ranch.
Lucy will be there, mitch willbe there, bobby will be there,
sue Ellen will be there, lookslike Ray will be there, I think
(03:46):
Donna will be there.
But then I had to kind of takea pause back because of the way
I do this show.
If you're new to this, welcome.
So glad you found us today.
Hope you enjoy yourself here.
I've never seen these showsbefore.
I watched them with you.
I was aware of Dallas sort ofgrowing up in Texas, but not, I
mean, I couldn't have told youvery much about it, even less
about Dynasty, even less aboutNorthlanding and Falcon Crest.
(04:11):
So that puts a little bit of aI have to, I don't know.
It puts a little bit of cautionin everything I do.
Moving forward, I have to be alittle bit more aware of
situations as I walk into themand the consensus from you guys
is a little bit mixed.
So the one boy is like, yeah,go ahead and go to the shindig.
There might be a couple ofspoilers.
(04:32):
However, if people understandthat you're new to the fandom,
they're going to be a little bitmore receptive.
They'll probably be a littlebit more careful.
I tend to agree with that.
And also I think when you'rewalking into something and you
just don't know, you just don'tknow there's going to be tons of
people there.
I won't know them from Adam.
(04:55):
I don't know if they are castor not, and even if they are
cast, I don't know how they playinto the story, if that makes
sense.
On the other hand, others arelike, okay, I've been to
situations like this and there'sgoing to be nothing but
spoilers.
Somebody told me theyspecifically went to this
particular picnic a couple yearsback and that's all they talk
about is the story, which I meanis obvious.
(05:17):
I guess I knew that.
I don't feel like this is anopportunity of a lifetime.
I don't feel like I'm reallymissing out per se, but from
what I've gathered from some ofyou, there's like a lady on here
I'm so sorry I forgot your name.
Let's call her Kelly.
I'm sorry I can't remember yourname.
She said that she used to go tothese cons all the time and it
(05:38):
was just a wonderful opportunity.
She's met all sorts of likedaytime stars.
It's been really fun.
She's met some friends alongthe way, so I'm excited, I think
, most about the communityActually I'm lying, that's a
close second.
I'm most excited to see theNorthland girls and Sue Ellen.
I think if I could just meetSue Ellen oh my gosh, I got to
(06:09):
meet Valene.
Meet Valene, the Vidalia OnionQueen.
It would just be a travesty tobe in the swampy North Texas
heat and not say what's up to mygirl, val.
Lord, have mercy.
I wish there was more of a con.
Like you know, bravo hasBravoCon.
I wish they had a littlesegment.
I'm going to start petitioningAndy Cohen.
We need a little segment forthe vintage soaps.
That's what we need.
We need a lot of that.
(06:30):
Kennedy says you really havenothing to lose.
I think if nothing else, you'llgain more of a love for the
show.
If you attend.
You could get some really coolpictures of the actual mansion.
I'm sure there's a tourinvolved and at the end of the
day, when you sit back home andwatch the shows again, you're
going to love it even more.
I agree, kennedy, I really do,so I think I might be heading up
(06:53):
there.
I just want to be careful.
My sister told me to maybe lookfor Facebook groups or just
look for groups of people whoare maybe a little newer.
That's kind of a challenge.
As you know, I think most ofthe people who find my podcast
have kind of stumbled on it.
I ain't been real brave aboutadvertisement.
I'll have to change that.
But I think it's just one ofthose things.
(07:13):
You just happen upon something.
You start to like it.
Luckily we live in the timethat we do, where you can Google
and get a little bit more faninsight on it.
But this is going to be fun.
I'll have to make a decisionhere pretty soon.
Tia, who is watching these forthe first time, like me.
Welcome to the club, tia.
She says Original Michaelcannot be left out of this
(07:36):
conversation.
I've watched the other, diamondSteve, and I think new Michael
is equally as hot.
With that being said, you alsohave to include Jesse Metcalf.
Who the hell is Jesse Metcalf?
I know that name, jesse Metcalf.
Jesse Metcalf, oh, okay, therewe go.
I was.
I think I was calling him umDesperate Housewives last time.
(07:58):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's one ofthose.
Um Lopez Fitzgerald I can'tremember his government name on
that show, but that's Teresa'slittle brother.
Miguel was so fine, remember.
Oh my God, if you didn't watchPassions, go peek.
Now, that's Miguel and Teresa'slittle brother, gosh, his
storyline is blurry, okay.
(08:19):
So I think I said with the malebeauty pageant, I'll have to
look again, seasons one throughfour of the original.
But you know what?
I will allow it, because howmany episodes, how many seasons?
Oh, I'm afraid to look.
I'm afraid to look at Dallas,because I understand that Dallas
is a continuation of theoriginal Dallas as where the new
(08:42):
dynasty is not the new dynastyis just a new story.
But I have to agree with you,he would be hard-pressed to look
over.
You know what you write.
I'm with you when you write.
Also, I do like Michael.
I forgot about Michael.
(09:02):
I kind of went through to bringmessy Michael back from season
one of Dynasty.
He was back when Fallon wasinteresting, but we're not going
to harp on that today.
He was fine and I'd like tothrow topless Tony in there.
Tony is a heartthrob.
Now are they going to win anytitles?
I don't know.
Best looking, possibly Maybe weneed a shirtless category.
(09:24):
I got to get my mind right andget back on the ball.
All right, that is enough jawjacking about that.
Thank you so much for yourthoughts.
Thank you for your input.
I take it very seriouslybecause I mean this is awesome.
I am so happy that I startedwatching these shows and I'm
like we all need to be watchingthese.
(09:44):
All right, well, let's jumpback to the west coast.
Dang, I didn't talk about themat all today.
Season 4, episode 23 of falconcrest is a little bit of a
special episode.
I'll tell you why after youfreshen up your beverage and let
me freshen up mine.
When I rewound the openingcredits, I caught the little
tail end of it and I was like,oh my gosh, did I read that
(10:07):
correctly?
Dude, this episode is calledthe Trial.
We are back in the courtroomone more again to see if Lance
(10:28):
is going to prison for attemptedmurder via vehicular I almost
said manslaughter whatever.
Allegedly he attempted to runhis grandmother off the road.
We all know, as the audiencewasn't him at all.
It was Florida man, joelMcCarty, but he's busy at rehab
or something.
I think hell, he might havebeen pushed off the side of a
highway, side of a cliff.
Last time we saw Joel he wasdressed like Usher.
I loved his outfit.
He was boarding a plane in therain, allegedly.
We didn't actually see him geton the plane.
(10:48):
I kind of get the feeling he'sgone.
I think you can hear him.
Episode written by Earl and Paulbut directed by none other than
the aviator Adonis himself,robert Foxworth.
I love it when the cast startsdirecting things.
(11:08):
I think that's such aninteresting pool.
I would really like to see anepisode directed by Jane Wyman.
She could bring some of thatold Hollywood glamour and
discipline.
I think it'll do.
Well.
I'm actually not finished withthis one.
I got as far as a trial.
They are reconvening in theliving room as we speak.
I'm going to go ahead andfinish that up and I'll come
(11:29):
back.
Okay, I just finished watchingthis episode and I have to say
Falcon Crest, once again, you'vedone it, you've surprised me,
you've managed to keep meintrigued.
Did not see a twist and turn,but I think we got something to
talk about here.
Although this episode is calledthe Trial, I would argue that
Lance is indeed the bit playerthis episode, so we're going to
(11:51):
start off with him.
When last we left, he andLorraine were being sort of
bratty, in my personal opinion.
They found out at dinner thatLance's trial is not going to be
moved further down the coast.
They were hoping for somethinglike San Diego, but that's not
going to happen.
Not only is that not going tohappen, the trial has not been
extended.
They're going to have to goahead and do this Monday morning
(12:14):
8 am sharp.
So they show up to court Mondaymorning 8 am sharp.
Somehow over the weekend itseems like Richard has decided
to hire some goons.
Although he's not affiliatedwith the cartel anymore, he's
suddenly having more do-dirtpeople.
You notice that, like he hasn'talways had that, pam has been
(12:36):
just enough for him.
But on this episode he has ado-dirt guy who basically
kidnaps the judge and says hey,judge, if you want to keep
judging, you're going to judgeLance Cromson as guilty.
The judge is like I suppose Ican do that with a little
bribery.
Boo, richard's like I got you,don't even worry about that.
(12:56):
This is all very weird and veryannoying to Pam.
Pam is like Richard, actuallyno to Pam.
Pam is like Richard, actuallyno, pam's not really all that
bothered by this.
So once the trial starts, oncethe trial starts, greg Reardon
is, of course, representingLance, but this sort of
tough-as-nails lawyer woman isrepresenting the defense, the
(13:19):
other people, the prosecution.
In a situation like this, whereit's attempted murder, murder
is against the law of the land.
So when you go to trial, it'snot Angela versus Lance, it's
the state of California versusLance Cunson for attempted
murder.
Now, if she wanted to sue himbecause he wasted her time or
(13:41):
like he damaged her car, then itwould be Angela Channing versus
Lance.
So that's one of the reasonsthis case has not gone away,
even though I don't think theyhave much evidence.
The case hasn't gone away isbecause he broke quote, unquote
he broke the law.
So let's talk about Nell'slawyer lady.
I really want to compliment herand I hope I'm able to do
(14:01):
justice to what I'm saying.
She reminds me of an Americangladiator.
She's really pretty but she'stough.
She's not necessarily muscularor whatever, but she's in a sort
of an aggressive career.
She has to be this sort ofshark in the courtroom.
So there's certain points whereshe almost looks villainous.
(14:22):
Anytime someone is beingcross-examined, whether it's the
sheriff or one of the otherguys on the scene, it's very
clear that the judge is allowingher to get a little more leeway
than he is allowing Reardon todo.
So it's very, very clear toanyone paying attention that the
(14:42):
judge has already kind of madeup in his mind that Lance is
guilty, now unbeknownst toeverybody.
They don't know that he has,indeed, they can't prove that he
has and they certainly don'tknow that Richard is behind this
.
So as the show goes on,different people are called up
to the stand.
One of the people up there is aguy named Troy Evans.
He's actually an actor.
The actor's name is Troy Evans.
(15:03):
Google him and you're going toknow exactly who I'm talking
about.
I immediately recognized himfrom the movie the Frighteners.
For someone who hates horror.
I sure have seen a lot.
That one to me technicallywasn't horror.
I love that movie.
Anyway, this man has played theexact same role for the last 40
years.
(15:23):
I believe he is still with usin any movie I've ever seen him.
He's never been the lead.
He's always kind of like somesort of sheriff.
Even in his Getty images helooks like he's somebody's
sheriff.
Anyway, when he's crossexamined he says well, I mean,
her car was wrecked, his car waswrecked, she said he did.
That's why I said it.
So the woman lawyer's like okay, cool, thank you so much.
(15:47):
When the sheriff goes up to thestand, he says, well, I mean,
she said he did it, her car waswrecked, his car is wrecked.
He's literally the only personin the valley who drives that
car.
I mean I had no reason to doubt.
Reardon gets up and he goes.
Now don't you think this oldlady for lack of a better term,
(16:11):
she was shook.
Don't you think she was alittle bit nervous after this
whole car accident?
He's like I mean yeah, but alsoshe was five feet away and it
was broad daylight.
I'm like, damn, I mean okay,yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.
So about halfway through thisshow.
It is very clear to CraigReardon that there's the manimal
that there's really nothing hecan do.
It might be his best interestto take a plea deal.
So he meets with Lady Lawyer atRichard's place at the Tuscany
(16:34):
Downs and she is soft and she issweet and I don't know why that
stood out to me so much.
I love that she gets to beaggressive and do her job well
in the courtroom without beingperceived as a B or perceived as
too aggressive.
I don't think that's fair.
I think sometimes you just havejobs that require you to have
(16:54):
tougher skin than others.
It is her job to seek justice,but when the time comes, even
she's like okay, yeah, I mean, Ifeel you.
I'm kind of surprised thatyou're saying you'd rather take
a plea deal, but I'm down.
I mean I don't really see anypoint in dragging this out.
Craig tells her he appreciatesit, he's talked to Angela, he's
(17:18):
talked to Lance at this pointand of course neither one of
them want him to take the pleadeal, but it just looks better.
He's looking at up to like fouror five years.
I think at this point if hetakes the plea deal it might be
like a year.
A whole bunch of communityservice and he can move on with
his life.
So the manimal and gladiatorlawyer lady they talk to the
judge and the gladiator lawyerlady says I'm cool with this
(17:42):
plea deal because, honestly,there's no point in dragging out
taxpayers dollars.
There's no need to put thisthrough the system.
We could really just put thisto bed now.
I think it's.
I think it's a fine idea.
Judge is like no, no, no, no,no, this is going to trial.
I want to see justice served.
Nobody's walking away from this.
So there is no other choicethan to put both Lance and
(18:02):
Angela on the stand.
Angela is wealthy, she is old,she has a short haircut, which
tells you her temper is evenshorter than that.
Her money is too long, her hairis too short to be caught up in
this sort of riffraff.
So she shows up in lavenderwith an attitude.
They put her on the stand.
(18:23):
Gladiator lawyer lady goes overto Angela and she says how does
she question her?
She says something to theeffect of if this jury looks at
this evidence and they find yourgrandson guilty, how would you
explain that?
And Angela's like what are youwait?
What?
That's not really a question.
That's like asking if 10 peoplebuy coconut ice cream and they
(18:52):
say it's delicious, how do youexplain this?
How would I know the lady'slike?
Well, you think your grandson,didn't you say at first that
your grandson tried to kill you.
She said, lady, where have haveyou been?
Have you not been payingattention to this trial?
Don't ask me no more stupidquestions.
The judge has to.
You know, keep up the facade.
You could tell he's a littlebit nervous to talk to Angela,
but he's like man.
Please answer the question,which is, if this jury finds
(19:14):
your grandson guilty, how wouldyou that Wrong thing to ask an
old lady who's already irritated?
She says if they managed tofind him guilty from this
laughable evidence, then they'reall a bunch of idiots, period,
point blank.
So they got to snatch her off.
Get down, angela, you're nothelping.
They put Lance on the stand.
Remember last episode where Isaid he and Lorraine, lorenzo
(19:37):
Llamas and whatever Lorraine'sreal government name is their
acting on the last episode wasabysmal.
I'd like to double down on that.
It was quite terrible, if youask me personally, which is
strange because I felt like hewas getting better.
I thought he was actually doingwell.
I don't know what was going onthat week.
It wasn't a good week when theywere filming On this episode.
He did much, much better, and Ihave a theory why.
(19:59):
Not only is Robert Foxworthy thedirector, there really is a
real life connection betweenAngela and Lance IRL.
She, Jane Wyman, was hisgodmother.
I've seen a brief littleinterview where he talks about
what an influence she was in hislife.
He had so much respect for her.
He really loved her.
That's his godmommy, hisG-mommy.
(20:20):
In this scene in court, lance isbeing questioned about.
You know what really happenedthat day?
He sticks to the facts.
He says I was snatched up.
They put me in this like gasstation.
I hung out with this dude.
Next thing, you know, theybring my car back.
I immediately get in the car,go to a pay phone to call the
cops.
That's when I'm arrested.
(20:40):
She's like so this is the lawyerlater asking them.
Gladiator is saying so younever.
You didn't run her off the road, you didn't do this.
He's like no, she goes.
You know what's funny?
I mean, you're sticking to thefact.
You would, wouldn't you, if youhave them all memorized very
rehearsed.
He's like aren't you makingthis up?
Didn't you and your grandmothercome up with this spiel.
The man was like hey, hey, hey,she's badgering the witness.
(21:01):
The judge says sustained.
Lance turns to her and he'slike I'm really not that
creative, like basically, Iain't smart enough to be writing
fan fiction, so no, I didn't dothat.
Judge tells him don't talk.
Sustained means you don'tanswer the question.
I did not know that.
Reardon comes up and he asks himyou know how do you feel about
your grandmother?
He's like I love her, I reallyadore her, and he's looking at
(21:22):
her the whole time.
Lance is looking at Angela,angela's looking at him, and the
acting suddenly became AcademyAward worthy.
It's so real.
He literally got choked up.
I love her, I have so muchrespect for her, and you look
over at Angela and she'sactually fighting back tears.
I love her, I have so muchrespect for her, and you look
over at Angela and she'sactually fighting back tears.
I love this because I thinkFoxworthy was able to bring a
(21:44):
real moment to the screen and Ithink that's the only way to do.
It is to have Lorenzo Llamas atthis stage in his career.
I'm not saying he got better,I'm not saying he didn't get
better, but at this stage in hiscareer I think he needed to
have a real relationship to makethat scene so powerful, very,
very good, but really it doesn'treally seem to make.
No, never mind.
The manimal is out theresweating bullets.
(22:06):
While he's sweating bullets,aunt Terry has it in her head
that it is time for that horsethat he's so crazy about.
It's time for that horse tomake its rounds at Tuscany Downs
.
So she shows up with the horseand she's dressed like new money
.
She's in blue, I think, pam inleather pants.
(22:26):
She's no longer wearing leatherpants, she's in a red outfit.
I think the actress might bepregnant.
Now, not that she looks that,and let's just.
Can we normalize saying peopleare pregnant?
Pregnant women should lookpregnant at some point.
I'm not making a dig of herweight or anything like that,
but it's just kind of thepositioning of her clothes.
And she's always holdingsomething in front of her.
(22:47):
I know they do that a lot on TVto kind of hide it.
I think she might have beenpregnant.
I haven't looked it up, butthat's my guess.
If she's not, I do apologize.
She doesn't look bad, but she'sholding everything right in
front of her uterus.
Pam can't stand Terry, terrycan't stand Pam, because they
both have a little somethinggoing on with the mammal God.
This guy is getting by ondimples in an accent because
(23:11):
there really is nothing elseinteresting about him.
He's wealthy, he's good looking, he's not very charming, he's
not very smooth and he is has anunhealthy obsession with deeds.
So Pam comes up to Aunt Terryand she basically just comes to
talk trash, like wow, are youreally putting this horse?
I think it's called no SmallFavors or Small Favors or Small
(23:31):
Something.
Are you really putting thishorse in the race?
Isn't she a little bit youngfor that?
Terry's like nah, nah, nah,she's perfect.
Pam says well, I can't believeRiordan would let that happen.
He's usually so careful, as in,I know him better than you do.
Aunt Terry hears this and saysthat's interesting.
I find him to be quitepassionate.
(23:53):
As in, he's boring with you,but he's a stallion with me, pam
, not one to let it slash goes.
Oh yes, well, I was talkingabout horse flesh.
He's clearly not that good atpicking out other flesh.
So they have a little back andforth.
Nothing really comes of it, butit's just.
I guess it was funny.
(24:14):
It was funny and they lookfabulous.
I have also decided somethingfunny.
It was funny and they lookfabulous.
I have also decided something.
Everybody on Falcon Crest isdressed to the nines at all
times and they look so good.
Everything they're wearing onthis show I would wear today,
with the exception of leatherpants, pam.
So I've come to the conclusionI don't like 80s clothing in the
way that I remember it, likechildren's clothing, the neon in
(24:35):
the way that I remember it,like children's clothing, the
neon.
I don't like the caricature of80s clothing.
But I am really, really fond ofthe fashion on Falcon Crest.
It seems like if Dynasty is asuper fancy, their couture,
everything is custom.
I feel like Falcon Crest islike Barney's I'm sure I've said
(24:58):
this before.
They're higher in.
They might sure I've said thisbefore they're higher end.
They might be like Nordstrom'srack, like you could get your
hands on this.
But also I have pieces that youcan't.
They look so good.
Specifically Connie GianniniWe'll get to her.
I think we'll save them for last.
Let's talk about Batgirl Melly,mel and Cole.
Melissa is so excited that hercousin Robin is coming to town
(25:18):
Remember I talked about that onthe last episode Like okay,
who's she going to hook up with?
Where's she coming out of theblue.
They kind of let you knowwithin the first 10, 20 minutes
of the show.
So Melissa is setting up theroom for Robin.
Cole comes in and they tell theaudience in not so many words,
she'll be here for a couple ofweeks.
Hope she likes it.
She used to call me Missy, butI'm going to tell her to call me
(25:40):
Melissa because I'm a grownwoman now.
And Melissa tells Cole you'regoing to be a dad, you're going
to be a dad again one way oranother.
We have a meeting for aninfertility clinic.
So they go to the meeting andwe see Melissa come rushing out
into the hallway.
Side note she looks so muchlike my friend Erica, my
(26:00):
childhood friend, I swear Iwanted to reach out and be like
girl.
She took your whole 2003 flow.
She looks exactly like.
She wears your hair like herand everything.
But Melissa comes out into thehallway because she's upset.
Cole comes out, the doctor comesout and the doctor's like hey,
I'm sorry that we had to tellyou that you can't have any more
(26:21):
babies, but there are otherways to do this.
Now, why they don't have thisconversation privately in the
office, I'm sure I don't know,but I'm glad they have it in the
hallway so God and everybodycan hear about it.
And the doctor says well, youhave the opportunity to have a
surrogate.
Melissa's like what Wait?
But if I have a surrogate, itwill only be gold's DNA and not
mine.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
(26:43):
Maybe in the 80s, it was alittle bit slow, but I thought
forgive this term the test tubebaby came about in the 70s.
Let's say, artificialinsemination.
I really hate.
When I hear the word test tubebaby, I always think of Robin
what's his name?
The black dude from baby kidshe called he's calling by a test
(27:03):
tube baby.
So if you had fertility likethat back then, a surrogate is
not.
I mean, a surrogate is your DNAand your spouse's DNA, but just
someone else needs to carry thebaby.
Is what I understood.
But in this show they're makingit sound like, okay, well,
it'll be Cole's DNA and it'll beanother woman's, but at least
it'll be his DNA.
So I'm thinking, well, he canjust go out and bang someone, if
(27:25):
that's the case and haveanother kid.
Why are we paying $10,000 forhim to do that?
Enter, miss Robin.
That's my thought as I'mwatching this, like, oh, okay,
so Melissa's cousin who showedup out of the woodworks, their
thickest, these their besties.
They're the same age.
It would be at least some ofthe same DNA.
(27:46):
If their cousins, they share atleast a quarter of the same DNA
.
This could work out in theirfavor.
Ok, she's Melissa, warms up tothe idea she doesn't bring up
Robin.
This is me, jet, bringing upRobin.
But she warms up to the idea,like, okay, I can live with at
least you having this kid beingat least yours genetically.
(28:07):
So they have to have a meetingat Melissa's house with someone
else from a different agency whowould.
I suppose he would place acarrier to carry, place a woman
in their home to carry the baby.
He is judgy wudgy, his last nameis Bitter and he is a bitterish
Little.
Joseph comes in with the nannyand Joseph comes in there like
hey, this is my house, who thisNew dude, who this the guy's?
(28:29):
Like hi, I'm Mr Bitter Joseph's, like that's a weird name and
immediately starts looking atthe guy's briefcase.
Now I don't know if the nannywas winded and she was just
catching her breath or shedidn't really like to get onto
Joseph in front of his parentsbecause he's letting him do
whatever he wants.
Melissa and Cole are like hey,nanny, we're paying you to nan,
(28:49):
get this kid on out of here.
So Joseph leaves and Mr Bitteris like oh, so who's who's that?
Oh, that's Joseph.
That's my son.
So he goes oh, melissa, sothat's your kid, but not Cole's.
Cole's like no, he's both ofour kids.
Oh, okay, that's weird.
Well, this, this marriagelicense says you've only been
(29:11):
married two weeks.
Oh well, we had him before.
You had him before.
So did he live here?
No, um, well, cole was well.
Yeah, he lived with me.
He's lived with me for a longtime.
And Mr Bidders looks at Mellieand Mellie like, oh, but he
didn't live with you.
She goes yeah, he lived with me.
He lived with me at first, buthe didn't live with me.
You know, whatever, he livedwith me first and he lived with
(29:33):
his dad.
Now he lives with both of usbecause we live together.
Mr Biddidders was like, ok,well, I guess it's the 80s.
Super judgmental, he comes tothe conclusion that neither
Melissa nor Cole are responsibleenough to raise a child.
Mind you, they have afour-year-old baby genius
walking around the place, butthey are unstable in all that
they do and, unfortunately,they're not going to be able to
(29:55):
use that particular agency.
By the end of the episode we seeCousin Robin.
Now this makes me y'all listento this, watch it.
Actually I'm watching it onAmazon Prime, season four,
episode 23.
Cousin shows up.
Whoever I was picturing thisgirl looks the exact opposite.
She looks nothing like Ipictured.
Cole opens the door and I swearthey have a moment.
(30:19):
I swear they have a moment.
Melissa comes screeching downthe hallway.
She's like twin.
They're so happy to see eachother.
By the way, girl, call meMelissa.
I'm grown now, I'm trying to begrown and sexy.
Cousin Rob was like okay, cool,melissa.
Melissa says how long are yougoing to be here, cousin?
Well, I quit school so I'mgoing to be here long enough.
Don't tell my parents.
(30:40):
She says I ain't telling nobody, I'm going to tell nobody
nothing.
She starts heading upstairs,cole starts coming downstairs
and he looks again.
So I want to make this clear.
They definitely made eyes ateach other at the door, but
she's the one making thelingering eyes going forward.
He's still looking like if he'sat 15%, she's definitely like
60%.
(31:00):
So we'll have to see whathappens with cousin Robin.
Is she another bad girl?
We do need another bad girl onthe show.
We're down one, since Terrycan't really make up her mind.
Terry is so quick to be used.
It is what it is.
The other newbie on the show isnew girl Cassandra.
Cassandra owns the ad agencyright that Richard is using.
(31:20):
At the top of the show there isa meeting between Richard,
cassandra I'm calling him Riker,I can't remember his name on
the show Duke or Daryl, whatever.
Riker from Star Trek, the manof them all, and Chase.
And then Cassandra has thiswhole plan.
She's like now I'm doing onething for Richard's brand, but I
think for Falcon Crest it's gota little more history.
(31:43):
The heritage is very rich inthis valley.
I think we take the snob route.
We're going to go a differentway.
This will be the more eliteupper echelon of wine.
It'll be a little harder to get.
We want to go ahead and pushthat narrative for this version
and I guess the thought processbehind this is that if Francesca
Wine does well and then FalconCrest does well, it doesn't
(32:03):
really matter because it's allkind of under one umbrella.
I think Richard is mostly intothis because, number one, he
does want to sell wine, but alsohe um, he's attracted to
Cassandra, so attractive in fact, that he does what any
red-blooded, perfectly sane,milk-drinking toy soldier
(32:23):
playing with grown man does, andhe runs a background check on
her, invites her to dinner.
She's like oh, if you geek thisout we might be able to make a
little pleasure with this.
But he's like you know, I did alittle digging into your past
and I couldn't really findanything.
Mind you, we don't know a lot,but we know that she and Riker
(32:44):
are actually siblings, eventhough they're pretending to
just kind of be businesspartners.
Riker is making a move on Emmaand it is very easy.
She has fallen all over herselfwith him.
I don't blame her, I prefer himwith the beard, but I get it.
He.
He's super tall, he's verycharming, he's good looking.
So his plan is he's going toget with Emma to get closer to
(33:06):
Angie Cassandra although she wasplaying coy, that's also her
plan but with Richard to, youknow, to get closer to him.
But now that he's digging intoher past a little bit, she's got
to punch, she has to put thepedal to the metal and move this
relationship forward quicker.
That was her brother's concern.
Riker's concern is that,whatever secret they're sitting
(33:27):
on, their mother seems to bealive.
They want exact revenge onAngela for something she did to
their mother.
But the longer they take, themore likely they are to be found
out.
The other little part is thatI'm wondering what that's going
to be.
We've already had a randomsister come out of the woodworks
with Francesca.
(33:47):
We have Richard being the longlost brother that's shown up.
Terry is a sister that showedup, both of Maggie's parents
have shown up and now Melissahas a cousin, so I don't know
who their mother could be or howshe's going to fit into the
story.
Last but not least, we got totalk about director boy, the
aviator Adonis.
(34:07):
At the top of the show he andConnie Giannini are walking.
They're like at him.
It could be an apartmentbuilding, it could, I'm assuming
it's some sort of workspace,but it's just like three stories
high.
They're on the top rung.
They're kind of walking downand it's just an opportunity for
Connie to tell Chase that sheread through her father's diary
(34:29):
last night and there was so muchin there about him.
She feels like she learned somuch about Chase and her father.
Now I thought immediately myheckles are up.
I'm like okay, wait a minute,miss Connie, what are you trying
to do here?
I don't see a lot of lingering.
She is kind of looking at Chasewith a lot of admiration, but I
can't tell if she wants himlike that.
(34:50):
I kind of think she does.
She didn't really do anythingin the episode that leads me to
believe that, other than thisrandom conversation and sort of
a few lingering looks, I feltlike she's trying to slide in
there with Chase and terrorizestate.
I think he kind of likes it.
I don't know what it is aboutthe Gia Bernie men.
This episode they are lookingout of the side of their eye at
(35:10):
the women folk of the valley whoare not Maggie and Mellie Mel.
Okay, blah, blah, blah.
I'm learning so much about youand my father and I'm feeling so
overwhelmed.
So Maggie is busy this episode.
She she does kind of meet themat the foot of the stairs.
She and Connie go to havecoffee with some random lady and
Maggie's busy reporting on thetrial.
(35:31):
At one point Chase comes down tothe courthouse, as they're, I
guess, on a recess, and he sayshey, mags, what do you think
about me hiring Connie for herchampagne expertise?
This is going to piss offAngela, so bad.
But Mags is like yeah, I thinkthat's an awesome idea.
Let's go ahead and let's pullthe trigger on that.
(35:52):
We'll invite her over to dinnerand see if she wants to do it.
They invite her over and she'slike absolutely, I mean, I'm way
more comfortable with champagnethan I am wine.
Let's do this, let's go aheadand jump in.
She's all calling Chase.
You know you're the boss.
You're the boss.
Chase gets it in his mind afterone of his homeboys call one of
(36:12):
his old pilot homeboys call andsays that he is in town.
Chase says, okay, well, let'sgo out to dinner, me and my wife
Maggie, we'll take you out.
Well, he doesn't know thatMaggie has already invited
Connie over for a separatedinner at the house.
So he's about to pick up thephone and call his friend and
say hey, I'm so sorry, I need toreschedule.
When Maggie's like, hey, whydon't we hook them up?
(36:33):
He's like like, oh my god,that's the best idea ever.
So he calls his friend and hesays change of plans.
We're not going to go to arestaurant, we're going to cook
here for you, or my newlyacquired wait staff is going to
cook for you here at my house.
Come over to falcon crest, pastthe big mansion.
We have a little castle on theleft, it'll be a great night.
Well, the guy comes andconnie's already there and he's.
(36:55):
He's perfectly nice.
He's just a little too loud, alittle too.
Where Chase is smooth, this manis not.
He is 100% in his dad joke era,having the time of his life
just talking and catching upwith his old war buddy, and it's
pretty clear that she's notinto him.
I think she's not into himbecause she's into Chase.
(37:19):
I think that's pretty much it.
I hope you have enjoyed thisepisode as much as I did.
It's a little slow, but I'm I'mfirst and foremost shout out to
Robert Foxworthy for directingthis episode.
They did pretty good.
Lance's acting improvedsignificantly from the last time
we saw him Trying to think isthere anything else?
(37:41):
Pam gets pissed off.
At one point.
I guess she feels like Richardis treating her like a wife, but
not really like picking up hislaundry and crap.
She's trying to tell him tostop being such an idiot to
Lorraine, like you're losingsomething important.
He ain't trying to hear it.
She does knock over his littletoy soldier.
He's becoming more and morepeculiar as this season goes on.
(38:02):
I don't know.
I wonder if he's on the vergeof a psychotic break or if he's
about to up his villain ante.
Kind of seems like it.
All right, guys, I think that'sall for this episode.
Thank you for joining me forthe Dolphins feature.
I hope you enjoyed yourself.
Remember you can send me a text.
Check the show notes.
You can always send an email tosoflorepodcast at gmailcom.
(38:25):
That'sS-O-A-P-L-O-R-E-P-O-D-C-A-S-T at
gmailcom.
Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and
keep all of your trauma on TV.
Testing testing 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
You look amazing.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, welcome, or welcome back
to Soap Floor, the officialgathering place for newbies,
novices and OG diehard fans ofthe golden age of primetime.
I'm your host, jed Ewing, andwe'll be doing the Stokias
(00:23):
Betzius Primetime Trial of 1984or 85.
So, whether you're new to thisor new to this, sit back and
enjoy.
Tell the kids it's time to playoutside or outside.
Tell they have no questions,suggestions or concerns for the
next 25 to 35 minutes.
Everyone else in the air show.
(00:43):
You can be cool, you can bequiet and you can be kicked out
because we are watching ourstories.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, this is Boatman.
Hello, gorgeous, hello,gorgeous.
(01:13):
Welcome back to another funlittle edition of so far.
I hope your day is shaping upwell.
I am absolutely on the edge ofmy seat for the trial of the
century well, not even close.
So what y'all up to?
What are y'all doing today?
No matter what it is, I hopeyou are safe, I hope you are
enjoying your time and I hopeyou are ready to get into this
(01:34):
episode of falcon crest.
I know what you're saying, jed.
Didn't we just do falcon crest?
Yes, we did, but somebody was alittle bit overzealous with the
episodes this season, so we'regoing to have to double and
triple these up just a littlebit so that we can have the
season finales all at the sametime.
That is my total goal.
I want to jump into a littlebit of fan mail before we get
(01:57):
into the episode.
Today you guys have been superhelpful, super vocal, whether or
not to go to South Fork.
A couple of other opinionsabout the male pageant.
I haven't seen that in a while.
Listen, I'm here for it.
Go ahead and pour yourself upsomething bubbly and bright as
we jump into season four.
Episode 23 of Falcon Crest, theTrial.
(02:19):
I've said it once, I've said ita hundred thousand times they
are not interested in beingoriginal with these titles, also
not original with the stories.
I'm like when was the last timewe had a trial on this
particular soap opera?
Is this not trial?
At least number three or so?
Every season it seems likesomebody is going to court and
(02:39):
behind sets them.
I remember a while back, like along time ago, someone told me
that Dallas and Falcon Crestoften shared writers, like they
just kind of flip back and forthbetween each other.
I can see that Falcon Crestcoming in as a final leg.
It lets you do a little bitmore People sort of forgotten
storylines, and there's nothingnew under the sun as long as you
(03:02):
put your original spin on it.
That's all that matters, and Ithink they did a pretty good job
this episode.
However, come on now.
Lance, going to trial withsomeone who doesn't want to
press charges, it's just, it'skind of silly.
But if this is what they need,this is what they need.
I posed a question a coupleepisodes ago about whether or
not I should truck on down toDallas and have a weekend, have
(03:25):
myself a good old country timeat the South Fork Experience.
It is a weekend in August wherethe cast of the show the
original cast of the show isgoing to be on site at the
actual ranch.
Lucy will be there, mitch willbe there, bobby will be there,
sue Ellen will be there, lookslike Ray will be there, I think
(03:46):
Donna will be there.
But then I had to kind of takea pause back because of the way
I do this show.
If you're new to this, welcome.
So glad you found us today.
Hope you enjoy yourself here.
I've never seen these showsbefore.
I watched them with you.
I was aware of Dallas sort ofgrowing up in Texas, but not, I
mean, I couldn't have told youvery much about it, even less
about Dynasty, even less aboutNorthlanding and Falcon Crest.
(04:11):
So that puts a little bit of aI have to, I don't know.
It puts a little bit of cautionin everything I do.
Moving forward, I have to be alittle bit more aware of
situations as I walk into themand the consensus from you guys
is a little bit mixed.
So the one boy is like, yeah,go ahead and go to the shindig.
There might be a couple ofspoilers.
(04:32):
However, if people understandthat you're new to the fandom,
they're going to be a little bitmore receptive.
They'll probably be a littlebit more careful.
I tend to agree with that.
And also I think when you'rewalking into something and you
just don't know, you just don'tknow there's going to be tons of
people there.
I won't know them from Adam.
(04:55):
I don't know if they are castor not, and even if they are
cast, I don't know how they playinto the story, if that makes
sense.
On the other hand, others arelike, okay, I've been to
situations like this and there'sgoing to be nothing but
spoilers.
Somebody told me theyspecifically went to this
particular picnic a couple yearsback and that's all they talk
about is the story, which I meanis obvious.
(05:17):
I guess I knew that.
I don't feel like this is anopportunity of a lifetime.
I don't feel like I'm reallymissing out per se, but from
what I've gathered from some ofyou, there's like a lady on here
I'm so sorry I forgot your name.
Let's call her Kelly.
I'm sorry I can't remember yourname.
She said that she used to go tothese cons all the time and it
(05:38):
was just a wonderful opportunity.
She's met all sorts of likedaytime stars.
It's been really fun.
She's met some friends alongthe way, so I'm excited, I think
, most about the communityActually I'm lying, that's a
close second.
I'm most excited to see theNorthland girls and Sue Ellen.
I think if I could just meetSue Ellen oh my gosh, I got to
(06:09):
meet Valene.
Meet Valene, the Vidalia OnionQueen.
It would just be a travesty tobe in the swampy North Texas
heat and not say what's up to mygirl, val.
Lord, have mercy.
I wish there was more of a con.
Like you know, bravo hasBravoCon.
I wish they had a littlesegment.
I'm going to start petitioningAndy Cohen.
We need a little segment forthe vintage soaps.
That's what we need.
We need a lot of that.
(06:30):
Kennedy says you really havenothing to lose.
I think if nothing else, you'llgain more of a love for the
show.
If you attend.
You could get some really coolpictures of the actual mansion.
I'm sure there's a tourinvolved and at the end of the
day, when you sit back home andwatch the shows again, you're
going to love it even more.
I agree, kennedy, I really do,so I think I might be heading up
(06:53):
there.
I just want to be careful.
My sister told me to maybe lookfor Facebook groups or just
look for groups of people whoare maybe a little newer.
That's kind of a challenge.
As you know, I think most ofthe people who find my podcast
have kind of stumbled on it.
I ain't been real brave aboutadvertisement.
I'll have to change that.
But I think it's just one ofthose things.
(07:13):
You just happen upon something.
You start to like it.
Luckily we live in the timethat we do, where you can Google
and get a little bit more faninsight on it.
But this is going to be fun.
I'll have to make a decisionhere pretty soon.
Tia, who is watching these forthe first time, like me.
Welcome to the club, tia.
She says Original Michaelcannot be left out of this
(07:36):
conversation.
I've watched the other, diamondSteve, and I think new Michael
is equally as hot.
With that being said, you alsohave to include Jesse Metcalf.
Who the hell is Jesse Metcalf?
I know that name, jesse Metcalf.
Jesse Metcalf, oh, okay, therewe go.
I was.
I think I was calling him umDesperate Housewives last time.
(07:58):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's one ofthose.
Um Lopez Fitzgerald I can'tremember his government name on
that show, but that's Teresa'slittle brother.
Miguel was so fine, remember.
Oh my God, if you didn't watchPassions, go peek.
Now, that's Miguel and Teresa'slittle brother, gosh, his
storyline is blurry, okay.
(08:19):
So I think I said with the malebeauty pageant, I'll have to
look again, seasons one throughfour of the original.
But you know what?
I will allow it, because howmany episodes, how many seasons?
Oh, I'm afraid to look.
I'm afraid to look at Dallas,because I understand that Dallas
is a continuation of theoriginal Dallas as where the new
(08:42):
dynasty is not the new dynastyis just a new story.
But I have to agree with you,he would be hard-pressed to look
over.
You know what you write.
I'm with you when you write.
Also, I do like Michael.
I forgot about Michael.
(09:02):
I kind of went through to bringmessy Michael back from season
one of Dynasty.
He was back when Fallon wasinteresting, but we're not going
to harp on that today.
He was fine and I'd like tothrow topless Tony in there.
Tony is a heartthrob.
Now are they going to win anytitles?
I don't know.
Best looking, possibly Maybe weneed a shirtless category.
(09:24):
I got to get my mind right andget back on the ball.
All right, that is enough jawjacking about that.
Thank you so much for yourthoughts.
Thank you for your input.
I take it very seriouslybecause I mean this is awesome.
I am so happy that I startedwatching these shows and I'm
like we all need to be watchingthese.
(09:44):
All right, well, let's jumpback to the west coast.
Dang, I didn't talk about themat all today.
Season 4, episode 23 of falconcrest is a little bit of a
special episode.
I'll tell you why after youfreshen up your beverage and let
me freshen up mine.
When I rewound the openingcredits, I caught the little
tail end of it and I was like,oh my gosh, did I read that
(10:07):
correctly?
Dude, this episode is calledthe Trial.
We are back in the courtroomone more again to see if Lance
(10:28):
is going to prison for attemptedmurder via vehicular I almost
said manslaughter whatever.
Allegedly he attempted to runhis grandmother off the road.
We all know, as the audiencewasn't him at all.
It was Florida man, joelMcCarty, but he's busy at rehab
or something.
I think hell, he might havebeen pushed off the side of a
highway, side of a cliff.
Last time we saw Joel he wasdressed like Usher.
I loved his outfit.
He was boarding a plane in therain, allegedly.
We didn't actually see him geton the plane.
(10:48):
I kind of get the feeling he'sgone.
I think you can hear him.
Episode written by Earl and Paulbut directed by none other than
the aviator Adonis himself,robert Foxworth.
I love it when the cast startsdirecting things.
(11:08):
I think that's such aninteresting pool.
I would really like to see anepisode directed by Jane Wyman.
She could bring some of thatold Hollywood glamour and
discipline.
I think it'll do.
Well.
I'm actually not finished withthis one.
I got as far as a trial.
They are reconvening in theliving room as we speak.
I'm going to go ahead andfinish that up and I'll come
(11:29):
back.
Okay, I just finished watchingthis episode and I have to say
Falcon Crest, once again, you'vedone it, you've surprised me,
you've managed to keep meintrigued.
Did not see a twist and turn,but I think we got something to
talk about here.
Although this episode is calledthe Trial, I would argue that
Lance is indeed the bit playerthis episode, so we're going to
(11:51):
start off with him.
When last we left, he andLorraine were being sort of
bratty, in my personal opinion.
They found out at dinner thatLance's trial is not going to be
moved further down the coast.
They were hoping for somethinglike San Diego, but that's not
going to happen.
Not only is that not going tohappen, the trial has not been
extended.
They're going to have to goahead and do this Monday morning
(12:14):
8 am sharp.
So they show up to court Mondaymorning 8 am sharp.
Somehow over the weekend itseems like Richard has decided
to hire some goons.
Although he's not affiliatedwith the cartel anymore, he's
suddenly having more do-dirtpeople.
You notice that, like he hasn'talways had that, pam has been
(12:36):
just enough for him.
But on this episode he has ado-dirt guy who basically
kidnaps the judge and says hey,judge, if you want to keep
judging, you're going to judgeLance Cromson as guilty.
The judge is like I suppose Ican do that with a little
bribery.
Boo, richard's like I got you,don't even worry about that.
(12:56):
This is all very weird and veryannoying to Pam.
Pam is like Richard, actuallyno to Pam.
Pam is like Richard, actuallyno, pam's not really all that
bothered by this.
So once the trial starts, oncethe trial starts, greg Reardon
is, of course, representingLance, but this sort of
tough-as-nails lawyer woman isrepresenting the defense, the
(13:19):
other people, the prosecution.
In a situation like this, whereit's attempted murder, murder
is against the law of the land.
So when you go to trial, it'snot Angela versus Lance, it's
the state of California versusLance Cunson for attempted
murder.
Now, if she wanted to sue himbecause he wasted her time or
(13:41):
like he damaged her car, then itwould be Angela Channing versus
Lance.
So that's one of the reasonsthis case has not gone away,
even though I don't think theyhave much evidence.
The case hasn't gone away isbecause he broke quote, unquote
he broke the law.
So let's talk about Nell'slawyer lady.
I really want to compliment herand I hope I'm able to do
(14:01):
justice to what I'm saying.
She reminds me of an Americangladiator.
She's really pretty but she'stough.
She's not necessarily muscularor whatever, but she's in a sort
of an aggressive career.
She has to be this sort ofshark in the courtroom.
So there's certain points whereshe almost looks villainous.
(14:22):
Anytime someone is beingcross-examined, whether it's the
sheriff or one of the otherguys on the scene, it's very
clear that the judge is allowingher to get a little more leeway
than he is allowing Reardon todo.
So it's very, very clear toanyone paying attention that the
(14:42):
judge has already kind of madeup in his mind that Lance is
guilty, now unbeknownst toeverybody.
They don't know that he has,indeed, they can't prove that he
has and they certainly don'tknow that Richard is behind this
.
So as the show goes on,different people are called up
to the stand.
One of the people up there is aguy named Troy Evans.
He's actually an actor.
The actor's name is Troy Evans.
(15:03):
Google him and you're going toknow exactly who I'm talking
about.
I immediately recognized himfrom the movie the Frighteners.
For someone who hates horror.
I sure have seen a lot.
That one to me technicallywasn't horror.
I love that movie.
Anyway, this man has played theexact same role for the last 40
years.
(15:23):
I believe he is still with usin any movie I've ever seen him.
He's never been the lead.
He's always kind of like somesort of sheriff.
Even in his Getty images helooks like he's somebody's
sheriff.
Anyway, when he's crossexamined he says well, I mean,
her car was wrecked, his car waswrecked, she said he did.
That's why I said it.
So the woman lawyer's like okay, cool, thank you so much.
(15:47):
When the sheriff goes up to thestand, he says, well, I mean,
she said he did it, her car waswrecked, his car is wrecked.
He's literally the only personin the valley who drives that
car.
I mean I had no reason to doubt.
Reardon gets up and he goes.
Now don't you think this oldlady for lack of a better term,
(16:11):
she was shook.
Don't you think she was alittle bit nervous after this
whole car accident?
He's like I mean yeah, but alsoshe was five feet away and it
was broad daylight.
I'm like, damn, I mean okay,yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.
So about halfway through thisshow.
It is very clear to CraigReardon that there's the manimal
that there's really nothing hecan do.
It might be his best interestto take a plea deal.
So he meets with Lady Lawyer atRichard's place at the Tuscany
(16:34):
Downs and she is soft and she issweet and I don't know why that
stood out to me so much.
I love that she gets to beaggressive and do her job well
in the courtroom without beingperceived as a B or perceived as
too aggressive.
I don't think that's fair.
I think sometimes you just havejobs that require you to have
(16:54):
tougher skin than others.
It is her job to seek justice,but when the time comes, even
she's like okay, yeah, I mean, Ifeel you.
I'm kind of surprised thatyou're saying you'd rather take
a plea deal, but I'm down.
I mean I don't really see anypoint in dragging this out.
Craig tells her he appreciatesit, he's talked to Angela, he's
(17:18):
talked to Lance at this pointand of course neither one of
them want him to take the pleadeal, but it just looks better.
He's looking at up to like fouror five years.
I think at this point if hetakes the plea deal it might be
like a year.
A whole bunch of communityservice and he can move on with
his life.
So the manimal and gladiatorlawyer lady they talk to the
judge and the gladiator lawyerlady says I'm cool with this
(17:42):
plea deal because, honestly,there's no point in dragging out
taxpayers dollars.
There's no need to put thisthrough the system.
We could really just put thisto bed now.
I think it's.
I think it's a fine idea.
Judge is like no, no, no, no,no, this is going to trial.
I want to see justice served.
Nobody's walking away from this.
So there is no other choicethan to put both Lance and
(18:02):
Angela on the stand.
Angela is wealthy, she is old,she has a short haircut, which
tells you her temper is evenshorter than that.
Her money is too long, her hairis too short to be caught up in
this sort of riffraff.
So she shows up in lavenderwith an attitude.
They put her on the stand.
(18:23):
Gladiator lawyer lady goes overto Angela and she says how does
she question her?
She says something to theeffect of if this jury looks at
this evidence and they find yourgrandson guilty, how would you
explain that?
And Angela's like what are youwait?
What?
That's not really a question.
That's like asking if 10 peoplebuy coconut ice cream and they
(18:52):
say it's delicious, how do youexplain this?
How would I know the lady'slike?
Well, you think your grandson,didn't you say at first that
your grandson tried to kill you.
She said, lady, where have haveyou been?
Have you not been payingattention to this trial?
Don't ask me no more stupidquestions.
The judge has to.
You know, keep up the facade.
You could tell he's a littlebit nervous to talk to Angela,
but he's like man.
Please answer the question,which is, if this jury finds
(19:14):
your grandson guilty, how wouldyou that Wrong thing to ask an
old lady who's already irritated?
She says if they managed tofind him guilty from this
laughable evidence, then they'reall a bunch of idiots, period,
point blank.
So they got to snatch her off.
Get down, angela, you're nothelping.
They put Lance on the stand.
Remember last episode where Isaid he and Lorraine, lorenzo
(19:37):
Llamas and whatever Lorraine'sreal government name is their
acting on the last episode wasabysmal.
I'd like to double down on that.
It was quite terrible, if youask me personally, which is
strange because I felt like hewas getting better.
I thought he was actually doingwell.
I don't know what was going onthat week.
It wasn't a good week when theywere filming On this episode.
He did much, much better, and Ihave a theory why.
(19:59):
Not only is Robert Foxworthy thedirector, there really is a
real life connection betweenAngela and Lance IRL.
She, Jane Wyman, was hisgodmother.
I've seen a brief littleinterview where he talks about
what an influence she was in hislife.
He had so much respect for her.
He really loved her.
That's his godmommy, hisG-mommy.
(20:20):
In this scene in court, lance isbeing questioned about.
You know what really happenedthat day?
He sticks to the facts.
He says I was snatched up.
They put me in this like gasstation.
I hung out with this dude.
Next thing, you know, theybring my car back.
I immediately get in the car,go to a pay phone to call the
cops.
That's when I'm arrested.
(20:40):
She's like so this is the lawyerlater asking them.
Gladiator is saying so younever.
You didn't run her off the road, you didn't do this.
He's like no, she goes.
You know what's funny?
I mean, you're sticking to thefact.
You would, wouldn't you, if youhave them all memorized very
rehearsed.
He's like aren't you makingthis up?
Didn't you and your grandmothercome up with this spiel.
The man was like hey, hey, hey,she's badgering the witness.
(21:01):
The judge says sustained.
Lance turns to her and he'slike I'm really not that
creative, like basically, Iain't smart enough to be writing
fan fiction, so no, I didn't dothat.
Judge tells him don't talk.
Sustained means you don'tanswer the question.
I did not know that.
Reardon comes up and he asks himyou know how do you feel about
your grandmother?
He's like I love her, I reallyadore her, and he's looking at
(21:22):
her the whole time.
Lance is looking at Angela,angela's looking at him, and the
acting suddenly became AcademyAward worthy.
It's so real.
He literally got choked up.
I love her, I have so muchrespect for her, and you look
over at Angela and she'sactually fighting back tears.
I love her, I have so muchrespect for her, and you look
over at Angela and she'sactually fighting back tears.
I love this because I thinkFoxworthy was able to bring a
(21:44):
real moment to the screen and Ithink that's the only way to do.
It is to have Lorenzo Llamas atthis stage in his career.
I'm not saying he got better,I'm not saying he didn't get
better, but at this stage in hiscareer I think he needed to
have a real relationship to makethat scene so powerful, very,
very good, but really it doesn'treally seem to make.
No, never mind.
The manimal is out theresweating bullets.
(22:06):
While he's sweating bullets,aunt Terry has it in her head
that it is time for that horsethat he's so crazy about.
It's time for that horse tomake its rounds at Tuscany Downs
.
So she shows up with the horseand she's dressed like new money
.
She's in blue, I think, pam inleather pants.
(22:26):
She's no longer wearing leatherpants, she's in a red outfit.
I think the actress might bepregnant.
Now, not that she looks that,and let's just.
Can we normalize saying peopleare pregnant?
Pregnant women should lookpregnant at some point.
I'm not making a dig of herweight or anything like that,
but it's just kind of thepositioning of her clothes.
And she's always holdingsomething in front of her.
(22:47):
I know they do that a lot on TVto kind of hide it.
I think she might have beenpregnant.
I haven't looked it up, butthat's my guess.
If she's not, I do apologize.
She doesn't look bad, but she'sholding everything right in
front of her uterus.
Pam can't stand Terry, terrycan't stand Pam, because they
both have a little somethinggoing on with the mammal God.
This guy is getting by ondimples in an accent because
(23:11):
there really is nothing elseinteresting about him.
He's wealthy, he's good looking, he's not very charming, he's
not very smooth and he is has anunhealthy obsession with deeds.
So Pam comes up to Aunt Terryand she basically just comes to
talk trash, like wow, are youreally putting this horse?
I think it's called no SmallFavors or Small Favors or Small
(23:31):
Something.
Are you really putting thishorse in the race?
Isn't she a little bit youngfor that?
Terry's like nah, nah, nah,she's perfect.
Pam says well, I can't believeRiordan would let that happen.
He's usually so careful, as in,I know him better than you do.
Aunt Terry hears this and saysthat's interesting.
I find him to be quitepassionate.
(23:53):
As in, he's boring with you,but he's a stallion with me, pam
, not one to let it slash goes.
Oh yes, well, I was talkingabout horse flesh.
He's clearly not that good atpicking out other flesh.
So they have a little back andforth.
Nothing really comes of it, butit's just.
I guess it was funny.
(24:14):
It was funny and they lookfabulous.
I have also decided somethingfunny.
It was funny and they lookfabulous.
I have also decided something.
Everybody on Falcon Crest isdressed to the nines at all
times and they look so good.
Everything they're wearing onthis show I would wear today,
with the exception of leatherpants, pam.
So I've come to the conclusionI don't like 80s clothing in the
way that I remember it, likechildren's clothing, the neon in
(24:35):
the way that I remember it,like children's clothing, the
neon.
I don't like the caricature of80s clothing.
But I am really, really fond ofthe fashion on Falcon Crest.
It seems like if Dynasty is asuper fancy, their couture,
everything is custom.
I feel like Falcon Crest islike Barney's I'm sure I've said
(24:58):
this before.
They're higher in.
They might sure I've said thisbefore they're higher end.
They might be like Nordstrom'srack, like you could get your
hands on this.
But also I have pieces that youcan't.
They look so good.
Specifically Connie GianniniWe'll get to her.
I think we'll save them for last.
Let's talk about Batgirl Melly,mel and Cole.
Melissa is so excited that hercousin Robin is coming to town
(25:18):
Remember I talked about that onthe last episode Like okay,
who's she going to hook up with?
Where's she coming out of theblue.
They kind of let you knowwithin the first 10, 20 minutes
of the show.
So Melissa is setting up theroom for Robin.
Cole comes in and they tell theaudience in not so many words,
she'll be here for a couple ofweeks.
Hope she likes it.
She used to call me Missy, butI'm going to tell her to call me
(25:40):
Melissa because I'm a grownwoman now.
And Melissa tells Cole you'regoing to be a dad, you're going
to be a dad again one way oranother.
We have a meeting for aninfertility clinic.
So they go to the meeting andwe see Melissa come rushing out
into the hallway.
Side note she looks so muchlike my friend Erica, my
(26:00):
childhood friend, I swear Iwanted to reach out and be like
girl.
She took your whole 2003 flow.
She looks exactly like.
She wears your hair like herand everything.
But Melissa comes out into thehallway because she's upset.
Cole comes out, the doctor comesout and the doctor's like hey,
I'm sorry that we had to tellyou that you can't have any more
(26:21):
babies, but there are otherways to do this.
Now, why they don't have thisconversation privately in the
office, I'm sure I don't know,but I'm glad they have it in the
hallway so God and everybodycan hear about it.
And the doctor says well, youhave the opportunity to have a
surrogate.
Melissa's like what Wait?
But if I have a surrogate, itwill only be gold's DNA and not
mine.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
(26:43):
Maybe in the 80s, it was alittle bit slow, but I thought
forgive this term the test tubebaby came about in the 70s.
Let's say, artificialinsemination.
I really hate.
When I hear the word test tubebaby, I always think of Robin
what's his name?
The black dude from baby kidshe called he's calling by a test
(27:03):
tube baby.
So if you had fertility likethat back then, a surrogate is
not.
I mean, a surrogate is your DNAand your spouse's DNA, but just
someone else needs to carry thebaby.
Is what I understood.
But in this show they're makingit sound like, okay, well,
it'll be Cole's DNA and it'll beanother woman's, but at least
it'll be his DNA.
So I'm thinking, well, he canjust go out and bang someone, if
(27:25):
that's the case and haveanother kid.
Why are we paying $10,000 forhim to do that?
Enter, miss Robin.
That's my thought as I'mwatching this, like, oh, okay,
so Melissa's cousin who showedup out of the woodworks, their
thickest, these their besties.
They're the same age.
It would be at least some ofthe same DNA.
(27:46):
If their cousins, they share atleast a quarter of the same DNA
.
This could work out in theirfavor.
Ok, she's Melissa, warms up tothe idea she doesn't bring up
Robin.
This is me, jet, bringing upRobin.
But she warms up to the idea,like, okay, I can live with at
least you having this kid beingat least yours genetically.
(28:07):
So they have to have a meetingat Melissa's house with someone
else from a different agency whowould.
I suppose he would place acarrier to carry, place a woman
in their home to carry the baby.
He is judgy wudgy, his last nameis Bitter and he is a bitterish
Little.
Joseph comes in with the nannyand Joseph comes in there like
hey, this is my house, who thisNew dude, who this the guy's?
(28:29):
Like hi, I'm Mr Bitter Joseph's, like that's a weird name and
immediately starts looking atthe guy's briefcase.
Now I don't know if the nannywas winded and she was just
catching her breath or shedidn't really like to get onto
Joseph in front of his parentsbecause he's letting him do
whatever he wants.
Melissa and Cole are like hey,nanny, we're paying you to nan,
(28:49):
get this kid on out of here.
So Joseph leaves and Mr Bitteris like oh, so who's who's that?
Oh, that's Joseph.
That's my son.
So he goes oh, melissa, sothat's your kid, but not Cole's.
Cole's like no, he's both ofour kids.
Oh, okay, that's weird.
Well, this, this marriagelicense says you've only been
(29:11):
married two weeks.
Oh well, we had him before.
You had him before.
So did he live here?
No, um, well, cole was well.
Yeah, he lived with me.
He's lived with me for a longtime.
And Mr Bidders looks at Mellieand Mellie like, oh, but he
didn't live with you.
She goes yeah, he lived with me.
He lived with me at first, buthe didn't live with me.
You know, whatever, he livedwith me first and he lived with
(29:33):
his dad.
Now he lives with both of usbecause we live together.
Mr Biddidders was like, ok,well, I guess it's the 80s.
Super judgmental, he comes tothe conclusion that neither
Melissa nor Cole are responsibleenough to raise a child.
Mind you, they have afour-year-old baby genius
walking around the place, butthey are unstable in all that
they do and, unfortunately,they're not going to be able to
(29:55):
use that particular agency.
By the end of the episode we seeCousin Robin.
Now this makes me y'all listento this, watch it.
Actually I'm watching it onAmazon Prime, season four,
episode 23.
Cousin shows up.
Whoever I was picturing thisgirl looks the exact opposite.
She looks nothing like Ipictured.
Cole opens the door and I swearthey have a moment.
(30:19):
I swear they have a moment.
Melissa comes screeching downthe hallway.
She's like twin.
They're so happy to see eachother.
By the way, girl, call meMelissa.
I'm grown now, I'm trying to begrown and sexy.
Cousin Rob was like okay, cool,melissa.
Melissa says how long are yougoing to be here, cousin?
Well, I quit school so I'mgoing to be here long enough.
Don't tell my parents.
(30:40):
She says I ain't telling nobody, I'm going to tell nobody
nothing.
She starts heading upstairs,cole starts coming downstairs
and he looks again.
So I want to make this clear.
They definitely made eyes ateach other at the door, but
she's the one making thelingering eyes going forward.
He's still looking like if he'sat 15%, she's definitely like
60%.
(31:00):
So we'll have to see whathappens with cousin Robin.
Is she another bad girl?
We do need another bad girl onthe show.
We're down one, since Terrycan't really make up her mind.
Terry is so quick to be used.
It is what it is.
The other newbie on the show isnew girl Cassandra.
Cassandra owns the ad agencyright that Richard is using.
(31:20):
At the top of the show there isa meeting between Richard,
cassandra I'm calling him Riker,I can't remember his name on
the show Duke or Daryl, whatever.
Riker from Star Trek, the manof them all, and Chase.
And then Cassandra has thiswhole plan.
She's like now I'm doing onething for Richard's brand, but I
think for Falcon Crest it's gota little more history.
(31:43):
The heritage is very rich inthis valley.
I think we take the snob route.
We're going to go a differentway.
This will be the more eliteupper echelon of wine.
It'll be a little harder to get.
We want to go ahead and pushthat narrative for this version
and I guess the thought processbehind this is that if Francesca
Wine does well and then FalconCrest does well, it doesn't
(32:03):
really matter because it's allkind of under one umbrella.
I think Richard is mostly intothis because, number one, he
does want to sell wine, but alsohe um, he's attracted to
Cassandra, so attractive in fact, that he does what any
red-blooded, perfectly sane,milk-drinking toy soldier
(32:23):
playing with grown man does, andhe runs a background check on
her, invites her to dinner.
She's like oh, if you geek thisout we might be able to make a
little pleasure with this.
But he's like you know, I did alittle digging into your past
and I couldn't really findanything.
Mind you, we don't know a lot,but we know that she and Riker
(32:44):
are actually siblings, eventhough they're pretending to
just kind of be businesspartners.
Riker is making a move on Emmaand it is very easy.
She has fallen all over herselfwith him.
I don't blame her, I prefer himwith the beard, but I get it.
He.
He's super tall, he's verycharming, he's good looking.
So his plan is he's going toget with Emma to get closer to
(33:06):
Angie Cassandra although she wasplaying coy, that's also her
plan but with Richard to, youknow, to get closer to him.
But now that he's digging intoher past a little bit, she's got
to punch, she has to put thepedal to the metal and move this
relationship forward quicker.
That was her brother's concern.
Riker's concern is that,whatever secret they're sitting
(33:27):
on, their mother seems to bealive.
They want exact revenge onAngela for something she did to
their mother.
But the longer they take, themore likely they are to be found
out.
The other little part is thatI'm wondering what that's going
to be.
We've already had a randomsister come out of the woodworks
with Francesca.
(33:47):
We have Richard being the longlost brother that's shown up.
Terry is a sister that showedup, both of Maggie's parents
have shown up and now Melissahas a cousin, so I don't know
who their mother could be or howshe's going to fit into the
story.
Last but not least, we got totalk about director boy, the
aviator Adonis.
(34:07):
At the top of the show he andConnie Giannini are walking.
They're like at him.
It could be an apartmentbuilding, it could, I'm assuming
it's some sort of workspace,but it's just like three stories
high.
They're on the top rung.
They're kind of walking downand it's just an opportunity for
Connie to tell Chase that sheread through her father's diary
(34:29):
last night and there was so muchin there about him.
She feels like she learned somuch about Chase and her father.
Now I thought immediately myheckles are up.
I'm like okay, wait a minute,miss Connie, what are you trying
to do here?
I don't see a lot of lingering.
She is kind of looking at Chasewith a lot of admiration, but I
can't tell if she wants himlike that.
(34:50):
I kind of think she does.
She didn't really do anythingin the episode that leads me to
believe that, other than thisrandom conversation and sort of
a few lingering looks, I feltlike she's trying to slide in
there with Chase and terrorizestate.
I think he kind of likes it.
I don't know what it is aboutthe Gia Bernie men.
This episode they are lookingout of the side of their eye at
(35:10):
the women folk of the valley whoare not Maggie and Mellie Mel.
Okay, blah, blah, blah.
I'm learning so much about youand my father and I'm feeling so
overwhelmed.
So Maggie is busy this episode.
She she does kind of meet themat the foot of the stairs.
She and Connie go to havecoffee with some random lady and
Maggie's busy reporting on thetrial.
(35:31):
At one point Chase comes down tothe courthouse, as they're, I
guess, on a recess, and he sayshey, mags, what do you think
about me hiring Connie for herchampagne expertise?
This is going to piss offAngela, so bad.
But Mags is like yeah, I thinkthat's an awesome idea.
Let's go ahead and let's pullthe trigger on that.
(35:52):
We'll invite her over to dinnerand see if she wants to do it.
They invite her over and she'slike absolutely, I mean, I'm way
more comfortable with champagnethan I am wine.
Let's do this, let's go aheadand jump in.
She's all calling Chase.
You know you're the boss.
You're the boss.
Chase gets it in his mind afterone of his homeboys call one of
(36:12):
his old pilot homeboys call andsays that he is in town.
Chase says, okay, well, let'sgo out to dinner, me and my wife
Maggie, we'll take you out.
Well, he doesn't know thatMaggie has already invited
Connie over for a separatedinner at the house.
So he's about to pick up thephone and call his friend and
say hey, I'm so sorry, I need toreschedule.
When Maggie's like, hey, whydon't we hook them up?
(36:33):
He's like like, oh my god,that's the best idea ever.
So he calls his friend and hesays change of plans.
We're not going to go to arestaurant, we're going to cook
here for you, or my newlyacquired wait staff is going to
cook for you here at my house.
Come over to falcon crest, pastthe big mansion.
We have a little castle on theleft, it'll be a great night.
Well, the guy comes andconnie's already there and he's.
(36:55):
He's perfectly nice.
He's just a little too loud, alittle too.
Where Chase is smooth, this manis not.
He is 100% in his dad joke era,having the time of his life
just talking and catching upwith his old war buddy, and it's
pretty clear that she's notinto him.
I think she's not into himbecause she's into Chase.
(37:19):
I think that's pretty much it.
I hope you have enjoyed thisepisode as much as I did.
It's a little slow, but I'm I'mfirst and foremost shout out to
Robert Foxworthy for directingthis episode.
They did pretty good.
Lance's acting improvedsignificantly from the last time
we saw him Trying to think isthere anything else?
(37:41):
Pam gets pissed off.
At one point.
I guess she feels like Richardis treating her like a wife, but
not really like picking up hislaundry and crap.
She's trying to tell him tostop being such an idiot to
Lorraine, like you're losingsomething important.
He ain't trying to hear it.
She does knock over his littletoy soldier.
He's becoming more and morepeculiar as this season goes on.
(38:02):
I don't know.
I wonder if he's on the vergeof a psychotic break or if he's
about to up his villain ante.
Kind of seems like it.
All right, guys, I think that'sall for this episode.
Thank you for joining me forthe Dolphins feature.
I hope you enjoyed yourself.
Remember you can send me a text.
Check the show notes.
You can always send an email tosoflorepodcast at gmailcom.
(38:25):
That'sS-O-A-P-L-O-R-E-P-O-D-C-A-S-T at
gmailcom.
Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and
keep all of your trauma on TV.
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Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.