September 1, 2025 • 42 mins
The drama reaches fever pitch in this action-packed exploration of Falcon Crest Season 4, Episode 27, "...and the Fall." As Lance awaits escape at the shipping yard, the walls close in from all sides with Richard's $10,000 bounty driving the hunt to fevered intensity. Chase's business victory turns complicated when Connie reveals her past with loan officer Larry Michaelson, creating an intimate moment that Cole misinterprets as infidelity. Meanwhile, the mysterious Cassandra and Damon continue weaving their web around the Tuscany Valley elite, leaving Richard increasingly suspicious of their true motives and identities. The search for truth takes a devastating turn when Maggie and Greg discover that Joel—the Florida Man who might hold the key to Lance's exoneration—has died of an overdose. This revelation brings grief to Terry but visible relief to Melissa, whose involvement in Lance's framing grows more apparent with each nervous interaction. In true Falcon Crest fashion, the episode culminates in a heart-stopping sequence as Angela arranges Lance's escape to Italy. When Richard and the police close in on Lance's hideout, Lorraine makes a desperate attempt to flee via a fire escape, resulting in a terrifying fall that leaves her fate hanging in the balance and Lance abandoned at the shipping yard, unaware of the tragedy. This episode perfectly captures what made Falcon Crest exceptional—blending high-stakes business dealings, complex family dynamics, and edge-of-your-seat suspense into primetime soap perfection. Fascinating behind-the-scenes revelations about casting choices and on-set tensions add another layer to our appreciation of this golden age television classic What soap opera character would you recast, and who would play the role? Share your thoughts and join the conversation by texting us through the link in our show notes or emailing SoapLorePodcast@gmail.com.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome and
welcome back to Soap Floor, theofficial gathering place for
newbies, novices and OG diehardfans of the golden age of crime
crime.
I'm your host, jett, stillviewing and reviewing the
soapiest, sudziest primetimestorylines of 1985.
We are back on the West Coastdoing the absolute most.
So, whether you're new to thisor true to this, sit back and
(00:23):
enjoy.
Tell the kids it's time to playoutside or, out of sight, tell
they have no questions,suggestions or concerns for the
next 25 to 35 minutes, everyoneelse in earshot.
Be cool, be quiet, or you willbe kicked out because we are
watching our stories.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, this is Soap Lore.
Hello, gorgeous, welcome backto another fun-filled edition of
(01:01):
Soap Lore.
Hope you're ready for anotherfantastic episode.
Today we are reviewing FalconeCross.
They have put pedal to themetal, they are moving through
the storyline with great speedand I am here for it.
This feels a little bit morelike the traditional Falcon
Crest, the one I've grown tolove.
But before we jump into that, Iwant to jump into a very
(01:21):
relative piece of fan mail.
So go ahead and pour yourselfup something bubbly and bright,
full disclosure.
I had a mimosa at lunch with myfriends.
I think I'm going to chill.
I'm just going to have a littlewater.
We had us a good old time.
Let's see, there we go.
The mimosa was deliciousbecause I guess it actually had
champagne and orange juice orpineapple juice or whatever.
(01:43):
That was fine.
I liked that.
Still working on my taste budsas far as the other things go,
so I can keep something a littlemore grown and sexy in my
bubbly selection.
But that's neither here northere.
We're going to talk aboutsomething very, very fascinating
.
Real quick, nicole from Athens,georgia, was kind enough to let
me know about something that Ididn't make up, but I mean I
(02:11):
knew there had to be one.
Nicole from Athens says sheloved Dallas and Knott's Landing
, so so much growing up I wouldhang out with my mom, my granny
and her neighbor, miss Elizabeth, and watch it on Fridays.
We had a VCR and we wouldrecord it.
Once I got older because schoolactivities, but we would
sometimes watch Dallas andKnott's Landing again over
(02:31):
Christmas break while we werewrapping gifts.
I found her show ironicallylast year when I was looking for
an interview for that Christmasmovie, adiba's Christmas, which
will now be a part of myChristmas movie rotation, by the
way.
Ha ha, yeah, I get it, it wasgood, I liked it.
She goes on the show.
I love the show and I wanted tolet you know about something
(02:51):
you have spoken about.
Every year since I was a littlekid, my family would travel down
to Vidalia, Georgia, for theOnion Festival.
My uh are originally from thearea.
She says collins, and I'm gonnamess this name up collins, and
(03:13):
outside of I think it's oh hoopy, oh hoopy, lord.
So we always had family aroundthere and she has ps.
There's also a santa clausgeorg.
Lol, my God and I died laughingwhen you started calling Valene
the Vidalia Onion Queen.
I completely understand thatreference because I grew up on
the Georgia pageant circuit.
(03:34):
If you're ever in the area, youshould visit the Vidalia Onion
Festival, usually in late Marchor early April.
Keep up the good work.
Thank you, nicole.
March or early April Keep upthe good work.
Thank you, nicole.
That made my day.
I was so excited.
Now I know I've said thisbefore that she's the Vidalia
(03:54):
Onion Queen and of course youknow I'm thinking of one person,
but that sentiment in littletowns it does not surprise me.
So I went looking, just reallygrateful that this thing is
happening.
And she's right.
Unfortunately we've missed itthis year.
But I went through the itinerary.
This isn't just like athree-day festival.
(04:17):
It looks like they do somethingevery weekend of April.
I'm just going to read you acouple of things I saw.
They start out that Friday withthe blessing of the Vidalia
crop, 7.30 in the morning.
You want to get up and go.
Then they have like a golftournament.
On that Tuesday they have movieunder the stars.
They have some localentertainment.
Then they have the Vidalia'scooking experience with Vera
(04:37):
Stewart.
You already know she can cook.
Vera hosts a show called theVera Vera Show and she's going
to cook all sorts of things withVidalia onions, of course.
They have a Vidalia onion chalkwalk, carnival, whole bunch of
onion rings.
There's a documentary carnivalrodeo, a couple times street
dance firework.
(04:58):
They're having a good old time.
But I have to say I was a littlebit disappointed because I did
not see the Vidalia Onion Queenpageant.
It seems like a missedopportunity.
I said to myself Jet, do youmind your business?
Do you not mind your business?
I don't know.
(05:19):
Now that I know I mean, eventhough I said that what I mean
too, is that any little town youcould have the Cotton Bowl
Queen, the Peach Queen, theStrawberry Delight Queen.
There's all these littlepageants all over the country,
but this one man that'simpressive.
I want to talk to the VidaliaOnion Queen.
So I went looking and I'm like,surely, surely they have
(05:42):
something.
Turns out I didn't know therewas a Vidalia California.
Did y'all know that VidaliaCalifornia?
But there is definitely a MissVidalia Onion Queen pageant,
held March 15th.
It was a 47th annual MissVidalia Onion Queen pageant and
I'm very pleased to hear that.
(06:02):
That is freaking awesome.
So is a town called Santa Claus.
I bet they have a Mrs SantaClaus pageant.
I'm going to look all that uphere in a little bit.
Thank you so much, nicole, forsending that in.
That totally made my day.
Okay, this next piece of fanmail is a little more central to
(06:23):
what we're going to jump intoday.
It is some Falcon Crest tea.
Thank you to one of ourlisteners in Oregon it says
Falcon Crest behind the scenestea.
Okay, they say that RobertFoxworth, aka Chase, was
considered for the part of JREwing before Larry Hagman
(06:43):
entered the picture.
Was considered for the part ofJR Ewing before Larry Hagman
entered the picture, but heturned it down because he wanted
to make the character moresympathetic and the network
wanted to lean into thecharacter's villainy.
I could see that.
I feel like I might've readthat one time, but I've never
really really thought about that.
I can't imagine anybody in thatrole as JR, I just can't.
He did it so well.
(07:04):
Not that Robert Foxworthdoesn't have the chops, because
he definitely does, but I couldtotally understand him being a
little more compassionate.
I don't know what his ruthlesslooks like, plus, larry Hagman
is ruthless, but he's still socharming that's kind of hard to
pull off.
He does the most scandalousthings, but I'm still happy to
(07:25):
see him.
Just excellent casting on thatExcellent casting.
And I love Robert, this chase.
But I did think about this.
I could see Robert as Blake,right, I think he would bring a
lot of depth to that character.
I could see that that would bevery interesting.
I also buy that Crystal wasreally into him a little bit
more.
I think it all worked out forthe best.
(07:50):
Yeah, if anybody could berecast, I could see being blake,
not that I'm saying johnforrest, I did do a great job,
but I could totally see thatchanging.
Okay, here's some more tea.
So jane wyman, aka big perm, akaangela channing, and lana aka
Jacqueline that's Chase andRichard's mama, apparently IRL
they couldn't stand each other.
It got so bad that they had tofilm their scenes together
(08:14):
separately.
Finally, jane Wyman put herfoot down, told the producers
they got to do something one wayor another or she's gonna
bounce.
And they wrote Turner, turn heroff the show.
Also, angela's half sister,francesca, who was played by
that baddie I can't remember hername italian baddie, was going
to be played by the ultimateitalian baddie, sophia lorraine.
(08:37):
Can you imagine, can you evenimagine?
If?
Okay, think about this.
Most of the dramas and stuffthat we watch now they don't
always have like an a-lister.
I can think of a couple.
Um, what's that show?
Now?
It's got helen murin and tomhardy.
(08:58):
What is it?
Gangs or something like that.
It's like a gang, a mob, Ithink it's called mob, and it
has that other guy I almost saidPierce Brosnan.
I think that might be the wrongname.
Anyway, you don't always seeA-listers like that in any sort
of dramatic roles on television,not after they've been in
movies.
Kevin Costner's a little bit ofan exception.
(09:18):
You know what I'm saying.
Think about this.
Jane Wyman has an Oscar.
I don't know if Lana Turner hasone, but I know she was that
girl.
Sophia Loren was that girl.
Do you imagine all thesebaddies on primetime TV in the
80s?
That is so iconic, that is socool.
Yeah, richard would have beenall over her too.
(09:39):
I could totally see that.
I need to find a picture ofSophia Loren in the 80s.
I don't think I've seen one.
Anyway, last little piece ofthis is back in 2013,.
A Falcon Crest revival serieswas considered due to the
popularity of the TNT revival ofDallas.
The series was going to followthe Channing-Giaberti feud
(10:00):
between Richard Channing andCole Giaberti.
However, the series was shelvedindefinitely due to the Dallas
revival being canceled after itsthird season due to declining
ratings.
We got to get this back on thebooks.
I think if any show could makeit today you rewrite a little
bit here, a little bit there,you could redo Falcon Crest, a
(10:27):
little bit there, you could redofalcon crest.
Let's hold on.
This, says cole and richard.
Richard's old as hell, itdoesn't matter, it doesn't
matter.
I think that could work.
I would.
I'd love to see any of theserevived.
I do think knots landing only,even though I'm only on season
three.
I do think that could be alittle bit challenging.
You just have to have a wholenew cast, you have to have a
whole new set of people and maketheir lives interesting enough
to follow.
But it also poses the questionfor me.
(10:49):
I did watch desperatehousewives.
Is that similar?
As time goes on?
Is desperate housewives?
Is it similar to knots landing?
Even though desperatehousewives was a little, it was
funny, but it was definitely alittle bit dark.
It's kind of a dark comedy.
(11:33):
Thank you so much, oregon.
I appreciate all the littletidbits.
If you guys ever have anythingyou think I might be interested
in, please reach out.
You can check the show notes ifyou're listening on your mobile
device.
There's a link that says sendus a text, and you can do that.
Or you can do it the oldfashioned way and send me an
email at SoapLorePodcast atgmailcom.
That'sS-O-A-P-L-O-R-E-P-O-D-C-A-S-T at
gmailcom.
Speaking of the one and onlyRobert Foxworthy as Chase
Giaverde, let's jump into seasonfour, episode 27,.
Dot, dot, dot and the fall.
The last episode was called theDecline and it's dot, dot, dot
and the fall.
This one I'm not going to lieis very short.
(11:56):
I think we could probably bustthis one out in like 20 minutes.
There's not a lot going on, butthere's a lot to the story, if
that makes sense.
We're tying up some pieces.
Falcon Crest is putting pedalto the metal.
Things are coming togetherquite quickly, quite beautifully
and quite dangerously.
Pour yourself up somethingbubbly and bright and let's jump
into season four, episode 27,.
Falcon Crest, dot, dot, dot andthe fall.
(12:21):
This whole episode is aboutlocating somebody who does not
want to be found.
This is challenging foreveryone who needs them to show
up, but it's also entertainingfor us.
Well, we'll get to Lance herein a second.
This is kind of a simpleepisode.
It's got a lot of swelling,action-driven cinematic music.
They're kind of turning backthe tides a little bit.
(12:42):
They're going back to the chaseand the vineyards of doom music
.
It's big, it's bold, it's fun,it's exciting.
I was shocked at how quicklythis episode went by because it
was so exciting.
Okay, let's talk about probablythe least exciting part, even
though it was exciting Chase andConnie.
So when last we left, connie wassort of blindsided by this
(13:05):
Larry Michelson guy showing up.
Turns out Larry Michelson is acreep.
They had an affair way back inthe day.
He's trying to get that oldthing back.
Michelson is a creep.
They had an affair way back inthe day.
He's trying to get that oldthing back.
He didn't even want to have anaffair, he just wants to sleep
with her.
It's the whole reason he madethe trip to Falcon Crest so that
he could see her in the fleshand talk her back into the sack
with him.
Connie at the top of the showis talking to Chase.
(13:25):
Turns out Chase got the loan heneeded.
He was able to put up all thecollateral.
Looks like the Helios deal isgoing forward.
She's celebrating with him.
Oh my God, chase, this is soawesome.
She gives him a big old hug,but after that she starts
singing and she's like listen.
I don't know about him and Boyer, but I do know about Larry
Michelson.
Let me just tell you what's up.
(13:46):
I met him when I was a kid andthen a little later we started
an affair.
He was so charming.
I was head over heels in lovewith this man, chase.
I thought I was going to marryhim.
He told me he had already lefthis wife.
When we met, he promised me allthese things.
He was so smart and he was socharming and cultured.
Then I found out.
Not only did he not leave hiswife, he had no plans to leave
(14:06):
her, he used me.
I felt gross.
I didn't even tell my parentsabout it.
I just got my teens and went toEurope and learned how to make
champagne.
Chase is like dang, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Is that the whole reason why hecame back here?
I thought that was an unusualconnection to make.
I mean, this man works at abank.
Chase went and asked for theloan.
(14:27):
Doesn't seem like he's creepyin that way.
He obviously didn't set upanything, but he is taking
advantage of the situation.
So she lets Chase know in asmany words that although Larry
Michaelson did not attack her,she's just uncomfortable by his
presence and she getsincreasingly more upset the more
she talks about it.
I guess she's embarrassed,she's ashamed, but she's also
(14:49):
trying to get Chase's sympathy.
Now that Maggie is super busyall the time, she's definitely
working on that softer side ofhim.
So she starts crying in hisarms, she hugs him and they're
holding each other in thisembrace.
And remember a few episodes backI said her office isn't much of
an office.
It's kind of just like a commonplace where she hangs out and
there's like coffee and stuff.
It could be the break room.
Now that I think about it, itdoesn't matter.
(15:11):
Cole is coming down the stairsto go into her office.
When he sees his Faja and thiswoman in a warm embrace he can't
believe it.
He's mad.
But he holds it in to the endof the episode.
So by episodes in Coles chase itwas very reminiscent to me of
season one when cole was sort oftaking over that parental role
(15:35):
for his sister.
He's pointing out his parentsflaws.
They don't really want to hearit.
This was much of the same.
Cole is like I see the wayconnie looks at you.
I see the way she's always kindof finding a reason to be
around you or touch you orwhatever.
I don't really appreciate it.
Chase tells him boy, first,don't talk to me like that, I'm
your father.
Second, off, you're absolutelycrazy.
I don't even know what you'retalking about.
(15:55):
Cole's like oh, for real.
Oh, you don't know.
Okay, how about?
I saw you squeezing up on herthe other day?
How about that?
Chase is like you totallymisread the situation.
You need to mind your ownbusiness.
Cole says when it comes to mymama, who you're married to, you
better believe that's mybusiness, and if you're
squeezing up on this woman, thatmeans there's something wrong
with your marriage.
To my mother and that'sdefinitely my business Walks off
(16:19):
and continues to mind his ownbusiness.
Shout out to him for taking upfor his mom.
It did seem very innocent,though I will say Chase Cole
does not Excuse me.
Chase does not seem Well, hedoesn't seem into it, but there
is a scene where he does playthe hero a little bit.
The offices quote unquote thatthey're using for Falcon Crush
is very clearly a very niceapartment, but they're
(16:43):
pretending it is like thisoffice complex.
So Connie is outside cuttingbread under the elements and
cutting cheese and stuff.
I guess she needs a taste ofwine outside for some reason.
Someone comes up behind her, aman, and he covers her eyes.
She thinks it's Chase.
Chase.
Larry's like not quite, it's me.
Have you thought about sleepingwith me again?
(17:05):
Yet?
She's like no, actually Ihaven't.
And, by the way, you'll neverbe half the man Chase is.
Larry's like okay, that's cute.
Well, how about this?
How about?
And he pulls out the check inhis pocket how about?
I don't give this check toChase unless you want to
cooperate with your boy?
She, of course resisted, andthat's you can't do that.
He already, everything'salready gone through.
(17:26):
He's already got the, the loan.
So this man starts to grab her.
No sooner than he does thatcomes the aviator adonis
swooping in like a hero.
Back up, michaelson.
Back up or get broke down.
Keep your hands off, connie.
Give me my check.
Michaelson passes in the check.
Also, send a courier next time.
I don't want to see you aroundthese parts ever again.
So much and so forth.
(17:48):
Right after that chase was likehey, what you got on the
charcuterie board.
Here she goes with just alittle cheese and a little bread
.
You're selling wine.
You give them the cheese.
If you're buying wine, eat thebread, because the bread
cleanses the palate, gets thebad taste out of your mouth.
I don't know what she's talkingabout.
I guess she's talking aboutmichelson, but I thought, oh,
(18:09):
that is very useful to know.
Have a little cheese and alittle wine.
I guess if you decide you wantto, you go to a wine tasting and
you want to buy it.
Eat a piece of bread, taste itagain to make sure it's not bad,
make sure it tastes good.
I guess the cheese sort ofenhances the flavor.
So meanwhile, on the other sideof town this Helios deal seems
to be on.
Richard's on board, angela's onboard, now Chase is on board.
(18:31):
So in Cassandra's officeMichelson walks in and he is
heavily rewarded by Cassandraand her brother, damon, aka
Riker, with a check for 22million dollars.
I don't know who's backingthese kids.
I don't know where they'regetting this money from, but it
is coming in by the boat load.
(18:52):
I know they sold that buildingin New York, got a hefty payment
from that, but they have enoughmoney to pay this guy $22
million and I think he said thatwas like 5% of the profits.
That's what Damon said.
Anyway, business is good.
So a little later on at TuscanyDowns, Emma is on a little
datey-poo with Damon.
They end up bumping intoRichard and Cassandra, who've
(19:12):
been on a date all morning.
Now Richard's heckles areimmediately up.
Immediately he sees a red flagand I'm thinking it's because he
sees Emma.
You know, emma's always kind ofa pawn in somebody's scheme and
this Damon kid is dating her,cassandra's dating him.
When Cassandra and Richard sitdown he's like dang, you and
your right-hand man are all upin Falcon Crest Seems like have
(19:34):
close little relationships witheveryone.
And she goes well, not everyone.
I just work with Chase.
I'm interested in you.
What Damon does is his ownbusiness.
She's trying to play it off,but you got to remember Richard
is already digging intoCassandra's past.
Remember, richard is alreadydigging into Cassandra's past.
It is only a matter of timebefore he figures out who she is
and what she really wants.
So, seeing Emma, if nothingelse, it raises his concern.
(19:59):
But the thing about Richard ishe'll continue to sleep with you
until he gets all the evidencehe needs and then he'll let it
all go.
So he is able to not mixbusiness and pleasure and keep
his eye on the situation just incase something pops off.
Speaking of popping off, theFlorida man is the talk of the
town.
Melissa is nervous about himpopping up and telling all her
(20:21):
business.
Maggie and the manimal reallywant him to pop up and tell
Richard's business.
So quick little recap themanimal has this hunch about
Joel being the missing piece ofthe Lance Combson framing puzzle
situation.
He spends a lot of time thisepisode looking for Joel.
Only he and Maggie know aboutthis.
Really, maggie was sort ofvague at dinner when she brought
(20:43):
it up with or, excuse me, no,chase brought it up at dinner
like oh, there's more evidence,they're looking for Joel and
they let it go.
She's not really saying muchelse.
So the manimal is able to go tothe rehab center where Florida
man is located, only to find outthat he unfortunately has
overdosed and died.
They have his grave site.
The manimal takes the picturesand he's like dang, that sucks.
(21:05):
So the only other person he canreally talk to about it is
Maggie.
She's the first person he tellsabout it, which leaves Maggie
with a task of telling Terrythat Joel is dead.
This is already a difficultresponsibility to bear, but it's
made all the more difficult bybad girl Melly, aka Melissa
Agretti-Giaberti.
She just keeps popping up.
So let's back it up just alittle bit.
Bad girl Melly, mel, has beensweating bullets ever since the
(21:28):
last episode, ever since thelast dinner where Joel's name
was brought up.
She's been like oh crap,anybody does a little digging.
They might find my check, theymight find my money that I gave
him.
I'm trying to remember now.
Does she give him money in anenvelope or does she give him a
check?
Either way, she is having topay off people left and right.
The last thing she needs is forthis man to pop up.
(21:49):
So she's trying to interceptany conversations he may or may
have with anybody.
So she starts out by going toMaggie's office at the Globe.
Now, maggie is a business woman.
She's quite busy in her newrole but as she's going over
some papers, her sister, terry'sthere.
Terry is still redecoratingthis office.
(22:09):
I will say it does look muchbetter than it did from the last
time, but it's just, it's justkind of okay.
Terry's like Maggie, you likethis girl?
Maggie finally looks up.
She's like you know what I do,terry?
I had no idea you were sotalented.
Do you want to decorate ourhouse?
Oh, I can't do that, I can't dothat.
So while they're talking inwalks, bad girl, mellie, mel,
(22:29):
hey, maggie, wow, are you doingsome redecorating?
Maggie says well, I am.
Yes, terry decorated it.
So Melissa looks around andshe's like oh, I mean.
Well, anything is better thanwhat Richard and Lance have,
right?
Terry's like okay, I see you.
So Terry says to her yes, I getthat.
You would know better thananybody what sort of things they
(22:54):
like leaving around.
So Terry leaves and Maggie'slike you know, melissa, I really
love being in the middle ofy'all's hate fest of each other.
Melissa says I don't hate Terry.
I know exactly where I standwith Terry.
I like her quite a bit.
I love that and I actuallybelieve that sometimes you can
be hateful to somebody, or itseems like it, but you're just
blunt.
You have an understanding.
She knows who I am.
I know who she is.
I like her just fine.
(23:15):
But I'm going to talk my asswhen I see her.
I have to do that.
Maggie's trying to rush Melissaout because she has a meeting
she's supposed to go to.
But Melissa's like well, he'slooking for somebody.
Maggie is keeping it mum aboutJoel.
She goes oh, I don't reallyknow.
Melissa goes.
Is he looking for that Joel guy?
(23:36):
Maggie's like well, why did youask?
Why do you ask?
Well, you mentioned it atdinner.
I don't know if he's lookingfor Joel.
He's probably okay.
Well, I just thought you wouldwant to come by for lunch.
Maggie is quickly escorted outof the room by her male
assistant so she can get down tothe meeting.
Also, isn't it funny thatMelissa and Terry would even say
(23:58):
anything to each other.
I love it when a call girlcalls a hooker a cheap date.
It's the self-awareness for me,or lack of so, a little bit
later on in the show, afterMaggie finds out that Joel is
deceased, she's at home, she'sgathering her things, she's on
her way to go tell Terry.
When Melissa pops up again.
And Melissa's like oh hi,maggie, I came by to borrow your
(24:19):
pasta maker, it's our two monthanniversary and Cole and I want
to have dinner.
Can I borrow your pasta maker?
First off, what self-respectingitalian woman, as far as I know
, in 1980, with a full, richheritage of italian grandmamas
and mothers and stuff, doesn'thave a pasta maker?
A rich lady?
There's no way you don't haveone.
(24:39):
That's like coming to the southand not having a cast iron
skillet.
You have one.
You may not use it.
I guarantee you you livethrough yourself.
Somebody's left you one.
But maggie's like oh yeah, girl, it, it's this place, that
place behind this.
Look at there.
Well, melissa goes.
Well, you know it's our twomonth anniversary and Cole and I
really want to show off thechina that we got from our
(25:02):
wedding.
We want you and Chase to comeover.
Maggie's like I'm sorry, baby,I'm just not going to be good
company today.
Something happened and I got togo handle it.
Melissa's like well, whathappened?
She tells her that Joel is dead.
Melissa is so relieved, but shehas to pretend to be
disappointed.
She's like, oh, oh, no, that'shorrible.
Her face is saying whew, thankyou Jesus.
(25:29):
Thank goodness he's gone.
That's one less thing they gotto worry about.
Also, girl, we're not going tocelebrate every month.
Y'all married.
It's bad enough.
They had to go to their wedding.
I'm not doing this.
And where is this china comingfrom?
Is this from the first wedding,where you left, where you left
her?
Because the second one was outoutside, like in the hills
somewhere.
Anyway, Maggie finds Terry.
Terry is just outside of smallvirtues horse stall.
(25:50):
She and Maggie have a seat.
Maggie tells her what happened.
Terry is obviously upset.
She's like oh my god, I wish, Iwish you had known Joel before
the drugs.
He was such a sweet guy, he wasan amazing guy, but he's just
weak.
Unfortunately he's weak andMaggie's like yeah, I mean it's,
these things happen.
Terry gets really defensive,like that doesn't mean he should
die.
(26:10):
I should know better thananyone about being weak.
I hadn't realized until nowthat Maggie may not know that
Terry was a call girl in herother life and maybe she did a
few drugs.
She doesn't know all that, butI feel like Maggie wouldn't care
either way.
Maggie tells her as much Listen, you had your past, you've
overcome it.
Look, maggie wouldn't careeither way.
(26:34):
Maggie tells her as much Listen, you had your past, you've
overcome it.
Look how strong you are.
Look where you're at now.
You're my sister.
Hold your head up.
I'm sorry this is happening toyou, but don't talk down on
yourself, girl.
Okay, so back off a globe,maggie, and getting their
investigation bag, and theydiscover, when they're going
through all of Joel's recordsand stuff, that he had a lot of
money in the bank.
What else they can tell is thatRichard is a person who paid
for his rehab.
So, there being a lot of money,they don't really know where it
(26:54):
came from, and the fact thatRichard paid off his rehab thing
.
A lawyer who is versed in lawcould probably present a case
for some sort of blackmail.
That's the story they're goingfor.
Also, though, there's not muchevidence.
So when Richard is confrontedby the manimal a little bit
later on, he says as much he'slike if you really had anything,
(27:14):
the police would be here, notyou.
The manimal asks well, why didyou pay for his rehab?
Richard says I'm aphilanthropist.
I do nice things all the time.
Maybe I did it for Terry.
Maybe Terry came to me crying.
Maybe you should ask Terryabout her relationship with the
joel, the manimal's.
Like I already know my coldgirl better than you.
There's nothing you can tell meabout her that I don't already
know what I'm talking about.
(27:35):
You right now, richard's gettingincreasingly more and more
pissed off.
He yells at him get out of myoffice, you can't prove anything
, get out.
I mean it doesn't look good.
But just like richard wasgetting close to finding out
about cassandra's past, themanimal and Maggie are getting
very, very close to pointing thefinger at Richard all behind
Lance.
He even put a reward.
(27:55):
He put a price on Lance's head$10,000 reward for anybody who's
seen this man.
Richard made sure that thephoto of Lance was like bad.
They wanted to make him lookexhausted, make him look like a
criminal, basically.
So let's get to Lance.
Y'all already know your boy isquite restless, he's horny, he's
lonely, he's getting reallybored and he is this close to
(28:17):
talking the, the cute 23 yearold cousin of Chow Lee, into
letting him escape.
Let me rewind just a little bit.
Lorraine followed Angela lastepisode so she knows where Lance
is.
She manages to get up to theroom after Angela and Charlie
leave.
Now, angela and Charlie, letLance know that we're going to
put you on the shippingcontainer.
(28:37):
You're going to go to Italywith the family.
You better not embarrass me,but I'll make sure Lorraine gets
on the boat with you and thenyou guys can be in Italy for as
long as you need to, at leasttill we get everything
straightened out.
He has that knowledge.
For whatever reason, he doesnot share that with Lorraine
when she comes up to the room.
So they do what they need to do.
He tells her to be strong,stand up to Angela, or else
she's gonna run all over you.
(28:58):
Lorraine's like I'm scared ofher.
It's like everybody's scared ofher.
But if you stand your groundshe's gonna respect you and
it'll go your way.
So she's like all right, I'lldo that.
She leaves and the 23 year oldcousin of Chow Lee comes up to
the door and Lance is like man,I'm kind of bored.
I could really go for someChinese food, and the kid's like
I could go for a cheeseburger.
So Lance pulls money out of hiswallet, like hey, let's go get
(29:20):
some cheeseburgers.
They're about to leave when bigcousin has to step in once
again.
It is very clear Ch, where ChowLee's family is real, real,
sick and tired of Lance'sshenanigans.
It's time for him to go.
So over at Falcon Crest we get apeek behind Angela's thinking
process.
She and Chow Lee are talking inher study and she says okay, so
(29:41):
when Lorraine comes home I'mgonna let her know that she's
gonna get on the boat.
I'm gonna make sure they'remarried, because y'all not gonna
be shacking up in my house oron a boat anywhere, and y'all
not going to be shacking up inmy house or on a boat anywhere.
And we'll figure everything out.
And chow lee agrees.
He's like yeah, we don't addher to the mix, this is going to
be a fiasco.
And angel's like no, you'reright, he's not going to listen
to us unless the rain is thereand the last thing we need is
him bursting out of that roomacting a fool.
So we'll just do that.
(30:02):
She also threatened lance,saying that chow lee's cousins
were going to f him up if hestarted acting up again.
And he's like I don't want himon smoke.
I already got beat up once.
I don't want any smoke.
So when Lorraine comes, she doesexplain to Lorraine what's
going to happen.
Boom, boom, boom.
I'm going to put you on theboat.
You're going to get marriedbecause y'all aren't going to be
(30:23):
shacking up on the boat, andthen we'll come and get you when
things are cleared out.
So it things are cleared out,so it's all set in motion.
Everything seems to be goingwell, until you remember that
whole karate kid action sequencefrom last episode where lance
fought three men and then thefourth cousin had to come
downstairs and beat him down.
Yeah, and the whole entireneighborhood saw it, and
(30:45):
lorraine showed up, pointed tothe window where lance is.
I forgot to mention that part.
There are so many indicators,there are so many tells about
where this man is at this pointis only a matter of time.
Plus, the biggest kind of thornin their side at this point is
Richard, and Richard has put outa $10,000 reward for the
(31:06):
capture or any informationregarding the whereabouts of
Lance Thompson.
So what do you know for thecapture or any information
regarding the whereabouts ofLance Thompson?
So what do you know?
One of the guys from theneighborhood who was minding his
business grocery shopping thatday and saw the fight is like yo
, I know who that is.
He goes to Richard's office.
I'm just going to say thisRepresentation is very important
(31:26):
and one of the most frustratingthings for me is listening to.
People have to play into astereotype so that the audience
can quote, unquote, understandthem.
This man is speaking in a veryclear, very forced Chinese
accent.
It should be a Chinese accentthat's easy to understand.
(31:47):
But this guy, as he's talking,you can hear the New York coming
out.
He's like $10,000.
He's fighting for his life andI'm like you know what?
We need representation Because,guess what, not everybody has
an accent.
Sometimes you do, sometimes youdon't.
If you have an accent, let'sjust hear the accent.
Anyway, dude comes up toRichard's office and he's like
(32:10):
yeah, I definitely saw this.
Matter of fact, there was awhole kerfuffle yesterday on the
street, very entertaining.
I saw your boy Leather pants.
Pam is sitting behind Richardand she's trying to thwart this
by saying well, how do I knowyou're not lying?
How do you know it was him?
How do you know this, that?
And the third she has to dothis because at the top of the
show she had to report back toRichard as to not finding Lance.
(32:33):
Only, the truth is she reallydidn't find them.
So the truth is.
Angela drove down to theapartments to visit Lance.
Lorraine followed her and thenPam followed Lorraine.
So she knows where he's at, butfor whatever reason she doesn't
want to tell Richard, probablybecause she doesn't agree with
the where he's at.
But for whatever reason, shedoesn't want to tell richard,
probably because she doesn'tagree with the way he's been
handling this.
So she tells richard when heasks.
(32:55):
He's like you don't know wherehe's at.
No, I don't know where lance is.
Did you follow angela?
She goes no, I follow thesheriff.
That's not true.
The sheriff never followedangela because he would have
found lance right away.
And rich was like well, whatabout chowley?
Are you following?
Following Charlie?
She goes yeah, charlie shops ata bunch of grocery stores I
can't afford to go into Very,very expensive.
That's all he does.
He buys expensive groceries andtakes Angela to her appointment
(33:17):
.
So when this man comes in, he'slike nah, I definitely saw this
kid the other day fighting inthe streets.
Richard says okay, cool, wouldyou be willing to tell the
police that?
And the man's like absolutely,what about that $10,000 house?
And Richard says well, if whatyou're saying is the truth and
if we find him, obviously youget the money.
The man's like bet I'll go downto the police station with you.
(33:39):
Now Pam has to think fast.
So she says oh okay, let me getmy purse and I'll follow you
guys.
Richard was like no, no, no, Idon't want you involved in this.
This is going to be me and him.
I want, I want to be there inperson when they put this fool
in handcuffs.
So instead of sitting in theoffice on her hands twiddling
her thumbs Leather Pants Pamgoes to Falcon Crest.
Now, right before she getsthere, Angela's heart thaws out
(34:02):
a little bit.
She is putting Lorraine inroute to getting on the boat.
You're going to go meet Lance,you're going to get on this boat
and y'all going to flee.
Charlie and Angela have decidedthat Lorraine needs to be with
Lance as he's transferred overto the boat.
Otherwise he's liable to notbelieve them, he's liable to act
up.
So Angela is saying her lastlittle goodbye.
So, lorraine, like you know, bestrong.
(34:23):
I promise I'm going to send foryou guys and make sure you take
care of that baby.
She even lets her hug her.
I can't believe it.
Lets her hug her, sends her onher way.
Leather pants.
Pam shows up in a red fedoraand no leather today.
And angela's like oh god, whatdo you want?
Leather pants, pam.
Or lpb asks for lorraine.
Lorraine ain't here.
Leather pants, pam.
What do you want?
(34:43):
Well, fine, since she's nothere, I'll just tell you richard
and the police are on their wayto pick up Lance.
Now Angela's like likely story.
This feels like a setup.
I know what you're doing.
You want me to call Lance andthen trace a call or whatever,
and then bum, rush him that way,not doing it.
Leather pants, pam was likewell, you don't have to, because
they're going to the thirdstory apartment right above this
(35:04):
laundromat in this neighborhoodwhere Lance is.
Angela's like oh, shoot, okay,why are you doing this?
So she, okay.
Angela immediately just grabsthe phone.
She calls and tells Lance yo,you need to get out of there now
.
Richard and the cops are headed.
That way, I'll get Lorraine toyou, Don't even worry about it.
So Lance, who is dressed?
(35:24):
I suppose he could be dressedlike a longshoreman.
To me he looks like somebodywho is escaping kidnapping and
about to go sneak onto a boat.
That's what he looked like.
But he's able to strut downtownor strut downstairs, get in a
car and be taken to the shippingyards.
Lorraine shows up in the GothamCity villain car with Charlie.
Moments after she's runninginto the building making a scene
(35:47):
, she gets all the way upstairs.
Right about that time the copscome Also.
Either Chinese is the mosteffective, efficient language on
earth, which I'm sure it'sgreat, I'm sure it is or they
didn't say nothing at all.
So Chow Lee and Lorraine get upto Lance's room and Big Cousin
(36:08):
is in there sitting on the bedand Lorraine's like what did you
do with him?
Charlie and big cousin, I swearthe only thing you hear is like
.
And Charlie says oh, he saidthat Lance ran off.
Like he did not say that.
In one word, there's no way.
You cannot tell me.
(36:28):
There is a Chinese phrase thatsays the six foot three renegade
, dressed like a longshorefisherman, escaped by going
downstairs and hailing a cab tothe shipping yard.
You can't say that in huh,there's no way.
So then cute 23 year old cousincomes running up and he also.
(36:49):
He says something like hedidn't even really say anything.
He's been running, so he's justkind of breathing.
And Charlie goes oh, he saidthe police are here.
No, he didn't.
So Lorraine's like oh my gosh,let me start running.
She starts running.
Charlie really does saysomething in chinese eventually.
Eventually, I guess he tellshis nephews or his cousins to go
(37:11):
stall, like please go dosomething to stall.
So by the time richard getsthere he sees the super villain
car and he's like the cops aregoing.
Do you think this is the rightplace?
Richard said I would bet mylife on it.
He didn't know lorraine wasthere at this point.
This is where it gets exciting.
The cops come running up thestairs.
Lorraine hears them, so shestarts running around the
(37:32):
building and she decides forherself that the best route of
escape is not to hide insomebody else's apartment, it's
to go out on the fire escape.
So the cousins come, they seethe cops and they just start
pointing up to the roof like ohmy gosh, he ran up there.
He went up there.
Like they're acting like theydon't know who he is.
So richard and the guy run upto the roof.
They don't know that lorrainehas gone out the window, so the
(37:53):
rain goes out.
She's on the tear on the fireescape.
One of the cops sees the openwindows and he runs over.
Now she is trying to veryslowly climb down without
incident.
Luckily she's wearing leathergloves, like people did in 1985,
didn't know't know that,crawling down as safely as she
can.
Well, the cop sticks his headout and he's like, hey, freeze.
Well, richard sticks his headup and he's like, oh my God, oh
(38:15):
my God, no, no, no, that's therain, that's the rain.
Do y'all remember when Eminem'smom, marshall Mather the rapper,
when Eminem's mom, he made thatsong for him?
Joe Dusty, I listened to.
I don't remember everything itsaid, but she's Marshall, I am
your mother, I love you,marshall.
(38:35):
Why are you doing this,marshall?
She was so monotone, it was sofly, it was hilarious.
That's exactly what Richardsounds like he's going.
Lorraine, it's Richard.
Lorraine, stop please, lorraine, it's me, lorraine, it's
Richard.
Lorraine, stop please, lorraine, it's me, lorraine.
(38:58):
Needless to say, it does notstop her.
As a matter of fact, it kind ofdistracts her.
Next thing, you know, her footslips and she's up dangling from
the ropes.
So Richard is speeding down,he's getting frantic, he's
freaking out.
Oh my God, lorraine, lorraine,lorraine, please, please.
Unfortunately, either theweight of him jumping down or
just her lack of grip, baby PoorLorraine falls.
(39:21):
I don't know how many floorsprobably two floors Splatter,
tat, tat on the pavement.
Ambulance has to come and scoopher up, put her in the ambulance
.
Richard is thoroughly freakedout by the end of the episode
and lance is left waiting on theshores, pissed off at angela,
like where is maureen?
She'll be here any minute.
She'll be here any minute.
They don't know, but she'sfallen, I don't know.
(39:41):
She fell to her death.
God, it's horrible to fall downa building regardless.
I don't know.
She fell kind of far, it'sdon't know.
She may not have survived that,but they have her wrapped up
and put inside the ambulanceregardless.
End scene.
God, that's so scary, but it'ssuch a good episode.
I like that.
Everything is coming to a head.
I'm most eager to find out whoCassandra and I always want to
(40:05):
call him Drake.
Was his name Damon AKA Riker?
I really want to call him Drake?
Was his name Damon aka Riker?
I really want to find out whotheir mom is.
Surely it's not Jacqueline.
Oh God, it better not beJacqueline.
They don't do that whole incestthing over on Falcon Crest.
So far they haven't, but theybetter not.
I just thought about that.
Maybe Jacqueline's in my headbecause of the backstory.
Also, I can't even imaginehaving to work that close with
(40:27):
somebody you couldn't stand orOregon said they didn't like
each other so bad that they hadto film scenes separately.
That's hard, but you know what?
That's what makes you an actor,that's what makes you a
professional.
But hey, by the time you get tobe a senior citizen, you don't
have time to waste.
I'm not filling with thatheifer.
You're gonna have to figure outsomething.
(40:48):
So I'd like to pose anotherquestion for you guys.
Who would you cast, who wouldyou recast in any of the roles,
on any of the soap operas?
We can go all the way throughKnotts Landing, dallas Dynasty
or Falcon Crest, or even apopular show that you like.
Who would you recast?
I'm going to go first.
I'd like to have seen DanAckroyd not Dan Ackroyd, the
(41:12):
original Gary a little bitlonger, but I don't know.
I think it'd be a totallydifferent character.
It'd probably be like howRobert Foxworthy would play JR.
It wouldn't be the same.
I wouldn't recast Fallon per se.
I would rewrite Fallon.
I'm gonna have to think aboutthis a little more.
All right, guys, that's it.
That's all for this episode.
Join me next time as we jumpback into some vintage primetime
(41:32):
soap opera debauchery.
Don't forget to send me a textin the show notes or email me at
SoapFloorPodcast at gmailcom.
In the meantime, in betweentime, do not get in fist fights
in public areas.
You never know who's watchingand $10,000 on your head is too
good of a deal to pass up.
Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and
(41:52):
keep all of your drama on TV.
Thank you, bye.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome and
welcome back to Soap Floor, theofficial gathering place for
newbies, novices and OG diehardfans of the golden age of crime
crime.
I'm your host, jett, stillviewing and reviewing the
soapiest, sudziest primetimestorylines of 1985.
We are back on the West Coastdoing the absolute most.
So, whether you're new to thisor true to this, sit back and
(00:23):
enjoy.
Tell the kids it's time to playoutside or, out of sight, tell
they have no questions,suggestions or concerns for the
next 25 to 35 minutes, everyoneelse in earshot.
Be cool, be quiet, or you willbe kicked out because we are
watching our stories.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, this is Soap Lore.
Hello, gorgeous, welcome backto another fun-filled edition of
(01:01):
Soap Lore.
Hope you're ready for anotherfantastic episode.
Today we are reviewing FalconeCross.
They have put pedal to themetal, they are moving through
the storyline with great speedand I am here for it.
This feels a little bit morelike the traditional Falcon
Crest, the one I've grown tolove.
But before we jump into that, Iwant to jump into a very
(01:21):
relative piece of fan mail.
So go ahead and pour yourselfup something bubbly and bright,
full disclosure.
I had a mimosa at lunch with myfriends.
I think I'm going to chill.
I'm just going to have a littlewater.
We had us a good old time.
Let's see, there we go.
The mimosa was deliciousbecause I guess it actually had
champagne and orange juice orpineapple juice or whatever.
(01:43):
That was fine.
I liked that.
Still working on my taste budsas far as the other things go,
so I can keep something a littlemore grown and sexy in my
bubbly selection.
But that's neither here northere.
We're going to talk aboutsomething very, very fascinating
.
Real quick, nicole from Athens,georgia, was kind enough to let
me know about something that Ididn't make up, but I mean I
(02:11):
knew there had to be one.
Nicole from Athens says sheloved Dallas and Knott's Landing
, so so much growing up I wouldhang out with my mom, my granny
and her neighbor, miss Elizabeth, and watch it on Fridays.
We had a VCR and we wouldrecord it.
Once I got older because schoolactivities, but we would
sometimes watch Dallas andKnott's Landing again over
(02:31):
Christmas break while we werewrapping gifts.
I found her show ironicallylast year when I was looking for
an interview for that Christmasmovie, adiba's Christmas, which
will now be a part of myChristmas movie rotation, by the
way.
Ha ha, yeah, I get it, it wasgood, I liked it.
She goes on the show.
I love the show and I wanted tolet you know about something
(02:51):
you have spoken about.
Every year since I was a littlekid, my family would travel down
to Vidalia, Georgia, for theOnion Festival.
My uh are originally from thearea.
She says collins, and I'm gonnamess this name up collins, and
(03:13):
outside of I think it's oh hoopy, oh hoopy, lord.
So we always had family aroundthere and she has ps.
There's also a santa clausgeorg.
Lol, my God and I died laughingwhen you started calling Valene
the Vidalia Onion Queen.
I completely understand thatreference because I grew up on
the Georgia pageant circuit.
(03:34):
If you're ever in the area, youshould visit the Vidalia Onion
Festival, usually in late Marchor early April.
Keep up the good work.
Thank you, nicole.
March or early April Keep upthe good work.
Thank you, nicole.
That made my day.
I was so excited.
Now I know I've said thisbefore that she's the Vidalia
(03:54):
Onion Queen and of course youknow I'm thinking of one person,
but that sentiment in littletowns it does not surprise me.
So I went looking, just reallygrateful that this thing is
happening.
And she's right.
Unfortunately we've missed itthis year.
But I went through the itinerary.
This isn't just like athree-day festival.
(04:17):
It looks like they do somethingevery weekend of April.
I'm just going to read you acouple of things I saw.
They start out that Friday withthe blessing of the Vidalia
crop, 7.30 in the morning.
You want to get up and go.
Then they have like a golftournament.
On that Tuesday they have movieunder the stars.
They have some localentertainment.
Then they have the Vidalia'scooking experience with Vera
(04:37):
Stewart.
You already know she can cook.
Vera hosts a show called theVera Vera Show and she's going
to cook all sorts of things withVidalia onions, of course.
They have a Vidalia onion chalkwalk, carnival, whole bunch of
onion rings.
There's a documentary carnivalrodeo, a couple times street
dance firework.
(04:58):
They're having a good old time.
But I have to say I was a littlebit disappointed because I did
not see the Vidalia Onion Queenpageant.
It seems like a missedopportunity.
I said to myself Jet, do youmind your business?
Do you not mind your business?
I don't know.
(05:19):
Now that I know I mean, eventhough I said that what I mean
too, is that any little town youcould have the Cotton Bowl
Queen, the Peach Queen, theStrawberry Delight Queen.
There's all these littlepageants all over the country,
but this one man that'simpressive.
I want to talk to the VidaliaOnion Queen.
So I went looking and I'm like,surely, surely they have
(05:42):
something.
Turns out I didn't know therewas a Vidalia California.
Did y'all know that VidaliaCalifornia?
But there is definitely a MissVidalia Onion Queen pageant,
held March 15th.
It was a 47th annual MissVidalia Onion Queen pageant and
I'm very pleased to hear that.
(06:02):
That is freaking awesome.
So is a town called Santa Claus.
I bet they have a Mrs SantaClaus pageant.
I'm going to look all that uphere in a little bit.
Thank you so much, nicole, forsending that in.
That totally made my day.
Okay, this next piece of fanmail is a little more central to
(06:23):
what we're going to jump intoday.
It is some Falcon Crest tea.
Thank you to one of ourlisteners in Oregon it says
Falcon Crest behind the scenestea.
Okay, they say that RobertFoxworth, aka Chase, was
considered for the part of JREwing before Larry Hagman
(06:43):
entered the picture.
Was considered for the part ofJR Ewing before Larry Hagman
entered the picture, but heturned it down because he wanted
to make the character moresympathetic and the network
wanted to lean into thecharacter's villainy.
I could see that.
I feel like I might've readthat one time, but I've never
really really thought about that.
I can't imagine anybody in thatrole as JR, I just can't.
He did it so well.
(07:04):
Not that Robert Foxworthdoesn't have the chops, because
he definitely does, but I couldtotally understand him being a
little more compassionate.
I don't know what his ruthlesslooks like, plus, larry Hagman
is ruthless, but he's still socharming that's kind of hard to
pull off.
He does the most scandalousthings, but I'm still happy to
(07:25):
see him.
Just excellent casting on thatExcellent casting.
And I love Robert, this chase.
But I did think about this.
I could see Robert as Blake,right, I think he would bring a
lot of depth to that character.
I could see that that would bevery interesting.
I also buy that Crystal wasreally into him a little bit
more.
I think it all worked out forthe best.
(07:50):
Yeah, if anybody could berecast, I could see being blake,
not that I'm saying johnforrest, I did do a great job,
but I could totally see thatchanging.
Okay, here's some more tea.
So jane wyman, aka big perm, akaangela channing, and lana aka
Jacqueline that's Chase andRichard's mama, apparently IRL
they couldn't stand each other.
It got so bad that they had tofilm their scenes together
(08:14):
separately.
Finally, jane Wyman put herfoot down, told the producers
they got to do something one wayor another or she's gonna
bounce.
And they wrote Turner, turn heroff the show.
Also, angela's half sister,francesca, who was played by
that baddie I can't remember hername italian baddie, was going
to be played by the ultimateitalian baddie, sophia lorraine.
(08:37):
Can you imagine, can you evenimagine?
If?
Okay, think about this.
Most of the dramas and stuffthat we watch now they don't
always have like an a-lister.
I can think of a couple.
Um, what's that show?
Now?
It's got helen murin and tomhardy.
(08:58):
What is it?
Gangs or something like that.
It's like a gang, a mob, Ithink it's called mob, and it
has that other guy I almost saidPierce Brosnan.
I think that might be the wrongname.
Anyway, you don't always seeA-listers like that in any sort
of dramatic roles on television,not after they've been in
movies.
Kevin Costner's a little bit ofan exception.
(09:18):
You know what I'm saying.
Think about this.
Jane Wyman has an Oscar.
I don't know if Lana Turner hasone, but I know she was that
girl.
Sophia Loren was that girl.
Do you imagine all thesebaddies on primetime TV in the
80s?
That is so iconic, that is socool.
Yeah, richard would have beenall over her too.
(09:39):
I could totally see that.
I need to find a picture ofSophia Loren in the 80s.
I don't think I've seen one.
Anyway, last little piece ofthis is back in 2013,.
A Falcon Crest revival serieswas considered due to the
popularity of the TNT revival ofDallas.
The series was going to followthe Channing-Giaberti feud
(10:00):
between Richard Channing andCole Giaberti.
However, the series was shelvedindefinitely due to the Dallas
revival being canceled after itsthird season due to declining
ratings.
We got to get this back on thebooks.
I think if any show could makeit today you rewrite a little
bit here, a little bit there,you could redo Falcon Crest, a
(10:27):
little bit there, you could redofalcon crest.
Let's hold on.
This, says cole and richard.
Richard's old as hell, itdoesn't matter, it doesn't
matter.
I think that could work.
I would.
I'd love to see any of theserevived.
I do think knots landing only,even though I'm only on season
three.
I do think that could be alittle bit challenging.
You just have to have a wholenew cast, you have to have a
whole new set of people and maketheir lives interesting enough
to follow.
But it also poses the questionfor me.
(10:49):
I did watch desperatehousewives.
Is that similar?
As time goes on?
Is desperate housewives?
Is it similar to knots landing?
Even though desperatehousewives was a little, it was
funny, but it was definitely alittle bit dark.
It's kind of a dark comedy.
(11:33):
Thank you so much, oregon.
I appreciate all the littletidbits.
If you guys ever have anythingyou think I might be interested
in, please reach out.
You can check the show notes ifyou're listening on your mobile
device.
There's a link that says sendus a text, and you can do that.
Or you can do it the oldfashioned way and send me an
email at SoapLorePodcast atgmailcom.
That'sS-O-A-P-L-O-R-E-P-O-D-C-A-S-T at
gmailcom.
Speaking of the one and onlyRobert Foxworthy as Chase
Giaverde, let's jump into seasonfour, episode 27,.
Dot, dot, dot and the fall.
The last episode was called theDecline and it's dot, dot, dot
and the fall.
This one I'm not going to lieis very short.
(11:56):
I think we could probably bustthis one out in like 20 minutes.
There's not a lot going on, butthere's a lot to the story, if
that makes sense.
We're tying up some pieces.
Falcon Crest is putting pedalto the metal.
Things are coming togetherquite quickly, quite beautifully
and quite dangerously.
Pour yourself up somethingbubbly and bright and let's jump
into season four, episode 27,.
Falcon Crest, dot, dot, dot andthe fall.
(12:21):
This whole episode is aboutlocating somebody who does not
want to be found.
This is challenging foreveryone who needs them to show
up, but it's also entertainingfor us.
Well, we'll get to Lance herein a second.
This is kind of a simpleepisode.
It's got a lot of swelling,action-driven cinematic music.
They're kind of turning backthe tides a little bit.
(12:42):
They're going back to the chaseand the vineyards of doom music
.
It's big, it's bold, it's fun,it's exciting.
I was shocked at how quicklythis episode went by because it
was so exciting.
Okay, let's talk about probablythe least exciting part, even
though it was exciting Chase andConnie.
So when last we left, connie wassort of blindsided by this
(13:05):
Larry Michelson guy showing up.
Turns out Larry Michelson is acreep.
They had an affair way back inthe day.
He's trying to get that oldthing back.
Michelson is a creep.
They had an affair way back inthe day.
He's trying to get that oldthing back.
He didn't even want to have anaffair, he just wants to sleep
with her.
It's the whole reason he madethe trip to Falcon Crest so that
he could see her in the fleshand talk her back into the sack
with him.
Connie at the top of the showis talking to Chase.
(13:25):
Turns out Chase got the loan heneeded.
He was able to put up all thecollateral.
Looks like the Helios deal isgoing forward.
She's celebrating with him.
Oh my God, chase, this is soawesome.
She gives him a big old hug,but after that she starts
singing and she's like listen.
I don't know about him and Boyer, but I do know about Larry
Michelson.
Let me just tell you what's up.
(13:46):
I met him when I was a kid andthen a little later we started
an affair.
He was so charming.
I was head over heels in lovewith this man, chase.
I thought I was going to marryhim.
He told me he had already lefthis wife.
When we met, he promised me allthese things.
He was so smart and he was socharming and cultured.
Then I found out.
Not only did he not leave hiswife, he had no plans to leave
(14:06):
her, he used me.
I felt gross.
I didn't even tell my parentsabout it.
I just got my teens and went toEurope and learned how to make
champagne.
Chase is like dang, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Is that the whole reason why hecame back here?
I thought that was an unusualconnection to make.
I mean, this man works at abank.
Chase went and asked for theloan.
(14:27):
Doesn't seem like he's creepyin that way.
He obviously didn't set upanything, but he is taking
advantage of the situation.
So she lets Chase know in asmany words that although Larry
Michaelson did not attack her,she's just uncomfortable by his
presence and she getsincreasingly more upset the more
she talks about it.
I guess she's embarrassed,she's ashamed, but she's also
(14:49):
trying to get Chase's sympathy.
Now that Maggie is super busyall the time, she's definitely
working on that softer side ofhim.
So she starts crying in hisarms, she hugs him and they're
holding each other in thisembrace.
And remember a few episodes backI said her office isn't much of
an office.
It's kind of just like a commonplace where she hangs out and
there's like coffee and stuff.
It could be the break room.
Now that I think about it, itdoesn't matter.
(15:11):
Cole is coming down the stairsto go into her office.
When he sees his Faja and thiswoman in a warm embrace he can't
believe it.
He's mad.
But he holds it in to the endof the episode.
So by episodes in Coles chase itwas very reminiscent to me of
season one when cole was sort oftaking over that parental role
(15:35):
for his sister.
He's pointing out his parentsflaws.
They don't really want to hearit.
This was much of the same.
Cole is like I see the wayconnie looks at you.
I see the way she's always kindof finding a reason to be
around you or touch you orwhatever.
I don't really appreciate it.
Chase tells him boy, first,don't talk to me like that, I'm
your father.
Second, off, you're absolutelycrazy.
I don't even know what you'retalking about.
(15:55):
Cole's like oh, for real.
Oh, you don't know.
Okay, how about?
I saw you squeezing up on herthe other day?
How about that?
Chase is like you totallymisread the situation.
You need to mind your ownbusiness.
Cole says when it comes to mymama, who you're married to, you
better believe that's mybusiness, and if you're
squeezing up on this woman, thatmeans there's something wrong
with your marriage.
To my mother and that'sdefinitely my business Walks off
(16:19):
and continues to mind his ownbusiness.
Shout out to him for taking upfor his mom.
It did seem very innocent,though I will say Chase Cole
does not Excuse me.
Chase does not seem Well, hedoesn't seem into it, but there
is a scene where he does playthe hero a little bit.
The offices quote unquote thatthey're using for Falcon Crush
is very clearly a very niceapartment, but they're
(16:43):
pretending it is like thisoffice complex.
So Connie is outside cuttingbread under the elements and
cutting cheese and stuff.
I guess she needs a taste ofwine outside for some reason.
Someone comes up behind her, aman, and he covers her eyes.
She thinks it's Chase.
Chase.
Larry's like not quite, it's me.
Have you thought about sleepingwith me again?
(17:05):
Yet?
She's like no, actually Ihaven't.
And, by the way, you'll neverbe half the man Chase is.
Larry's like okay, that's cute.
Well, how about this?
How about?
And he pulls out the check inhis pocket how about?
I don't give this check toChase unless you want to
cooperate with your boy?
She, of course resisted, andthat's you can't do that.
He already, everything'salready gone through.
(17:26):
He's already got the, the loan.
So this man starts to grab her.
No sooner than he does thatcomes the aviator adonis
swooping in like a hero.
Back up, michaelson.
Back up or get broke down.
Keep your hands off, connie.
Give me my check.
Michaelson passes in the check.
Also, send a courier next time.
I don't want to see you aroundthese parts ever again.
So much and so forth.
(17:48):
Right after that chase was likehey, what you got on the
charcuterie board.
Here she goes with just alittle cheese and a little bread
.
You're selling wine.
You give them the cheese.
If you're buying wine, eat thebread, because the bread
cleanses the palate, gets thebad taste out of your mouth.
I don't know what she's talkingabout.
I guess she's talking aboutmichelson, but I thought, oh,
(18:09):
that is very useful to know.
Have a little cheese and alittle wine.
I guess if you decide you wantto, you go to a wine tasting and
you want to buy it.
Eat a piece of bread, taste itagain to make sure it's not bad,
make sure it tastes good.
I guess the cheese sort ofenhances the flavor.
So meanwhile, on the other sideof town this Helios deal seems
to be on.
Richard's on board, angela's onboard, now Chase is on board.
(18:31):
So in Cassandra's officeMichelson walks in and he is
heavily rewarded by Cassandraand her brother, damon, aka
Riker, with a check for 22million dollars.
I don't know who's backingthese kids.
I don't know where they'regetting this money from, but it
is coming in by the boat load.
(18:52):
I know they sold that buildingin New York, got a hefty payment
from that, but they have enoughmoney to pay this guy $22
million and I think he said thatwas like 5% of the profits.
That's what Damon said.
Anyway, business is good.
So a little later on at TuscanyDowns, Emma is on a little
datey-poo with Damon.
They end up bumping intoRichard and Cassandra, who've
(19:12):
been on a date all morning.
Now Richard's heckles areimmediately up.
Immediately he sees a red flagand I'm thinking it's because he
sees Emma.
You know, emma's always kind ofa pawn in somebody's scheme and
this Damon kid is dating her,cassandra's dating him.
When Cassandra and Richard sitdown he's like dang, you and
your right-hand man are all upin Falcon Crest Seems like have
(19:34):
close little relationships witheveryone.
And she goes well, not everyone.
I just work with Chase.
I'm interested in you.
What Damon does is his ownbusiness.
She's trying to play it off,but you got to remember Richard
is already digging intoCassandra's past.
Remember, richard is alreadydigging into Cassandra's past.
It is only a matter of timebefore he figures out who she is
and what she really wants.
So, seeing Emma, if nothingelse, it raises his concern.
(19:59):
But the thing about Richard ishe'll continue to sleep with you
until he gets all the evidencehe needs and then he'll let it
all go.
So he is able to not mixbusiness and pleasure and keep
his eye on the situation just incase something pops off.
Speaking of popping off, theFlorida man is the talk of the
town.
Melissa is nervous about himpopping up and telling all her
(20:21):
business.
Maggie and the manimal reallywant him to pop up and tell
Richard's business.
So quick little recap themanimal has this hunch about
Joel being the missing piece ofthe Lance Combson framing puzzle
situation.
He spends a lot of time thisepisode looking for Joel.
Only he and Maggie know aboutthis.
Really, maggie was sort ofvague at dinner when she brought
(20:43):
it up with or, excuse me, no,chase brought it up at dinner
like oh, there's more evidence,they're looking for Joel and
they let it go.
She's not really saying muchelse.
So the manimal is able to go tothe rehab center where Florida
man is located, only to find outthat he unfortunately has
overdosed and died.
They have his grave site.
The manimal takes the picturesand he's like dang, that sucks.
(21:05):
So the only other person he canreally talk to about it is
Maggie.
She's the first person he tellsabout it, which leaves Maggie
with a task of telling Terrythat Joel is dead.
This is already a difficultresponsibility to bear, but it's
made all the more difficult bybad girl Melly, aka Melissa
Agretti-Giaberti.
She just keeps popping up.
So let's back it up just alittle bit.
Bad girl Melly, mel, has beensweating bullets ever since the
(21:28):
last episode, ever since thelast dinner where Joel's name
was brought up.
She's been like oh crap,anybody does a little digging.
They might find my check, theymight find my money that I gave
him.
I'm trying to remember now.
Does she give him money in anenvelope or does she give him a
check?
Either way, she is having topay off people left and right.
The last thing she needs is forthis man to pop up.
(21:49):
So she's trying to interceptany conversations he may or may
have with anybody.
So she starts out by going toMaggie's office at the Globe.
Now, maggie is a business woman.
She's quite busy in her newrole but as she's going over
some papers, her sister, terry'sthere.
Terry is still redecoratingthis office.
(22:09):
I will say it does look muchbetter than it did from the last
time, but it's just, it's justkind of okay.
Terry's like Maggie, you likethis girl?
Maggie finally looks up.
She's like you know what I do,terry?
I had no idea you were sotalented.
Do you want to decorate ourhouse?
Oh, I can't do that, I can't dothat.
So while they're talking inwalks, bad girl, mellie, mel,
(22:29):
hey, maggie, wow, are you doingsome redecorating?
Maggie says well, I am.
Yes, terry decorated it.
So Melissa looks around andshe's like oh, I mean.
Well, anything is better thanwhat Richard and Lance have,
right?
Terry's like okay, I see you.
So Terry says to her yes, I getthat.
You would know better thananybody what sort of things they
(22:54):
like leaving around.
So Terry leaves and Maggie'slike you know, melissa, I really
love being in the middle ofy'all's hate fest of each other.
Melissa says I don't hate Terry.
I know exactly where I standwith Terry.
I like her quite a bit.
I love that and I actuallybelieve that sometimes you can
be hateful to somebody, or itseems like it, but you're just
blunt.
You have an understanding.
She knows who I am.
I know who she is.
I like her just fine.
(23:15):
But I'm going to talk my asswhen I see her.
I have to do that.
Maggie's trying to rush Melissaout because she has a meeting
she's supposed to go to.
But Melissa's like well, he'slooking for somebody.
Maggie is keeping it mum aboutJoel.
She goes oh, I don't reallyknow.
Melissa goes.
Is he looking for that Joel guy?
(23:36):
Maggie's like well, why did youask?
Why do you ask?
Well, you mentioned it atdinner.
I don't know if he's lookingfor Joel.
He's probably okay.
Well, I just thought you wouldwant to come by for lunch.
Maggie is quickly escorted outof the room by her male
assistant so she can get down tothe meeting.
Also, isn't it funny thatMelissa and Terry would even say
(23:58):
anything to each other.
I love it when a call girlcalls a hooker a cheap date.
It's the self-awareness for me,or lack of so, a little bit
later on in the show, afterMaggie finds out that Joel is
deceased, she's at home, she'sgathering her things, she's on
her way to go tell Terry.
When Melissa pops up again.
And Melissa's like oh hi,maggie, I came by to borrow your
(24:19):
pasta maker, it's our two monthanniversary and Cole and I want
to have dinner.
Can I borrow your pasta maker?
First off, what self-respectingitalian woman, as far as I know
, in 1980, with a full, richheritage of italian grandmamas
and mothers and stuff, doesn'thave a pasta maker?
A rich lady?
There's no way you don't haveone.
(24:39):
That's like coming to the southand not having a cast iron
skillet.
You have one.
You may not use it.
I guarantee you you livethrough yourself.
Somebody's left you one.
But maggie's like oh yeah, girl, it, it's this place, that
place behind this.
Look at there.
Well, melissa goes.
Well, you know it's our twomonth anniversary and Cole and I
really want to show off thechina that we got from our
(25:02):
wedding.
We want you and Chase to comeover.
Maggie's like I'm sorry, baby,I'm just not going to be good
company today.
Something happened and I got togo handle it.
Melissa's like well, whathappened?
She tells her that Joel is dead.
Melissa is so relieved, but shehas to pretend to be
disappointed.
She's like, oh, oh, no, that'shorrible.
Her face is saying whew, thankyou Jesus.
(25:29):
Thank goodness he's gone.
That's one less thing they gotto worry about.
Also, girl, we're not going tocelebrate every month.
Y'all married.
It's bad enough.
They had to go to their wedding.
I'm not doing this.
And where is this china comingfrom?
Is this from the first wedding,where you left, where you left
her?
Because the second one was outoutside, like in the hills
somewhere.
Anyway, Maggie finds Terry.
Terry is just outside of smallvirtues horse stall.
(25:50):
She and Maggie have a seat.
Maggie tells her what happened.
Terry is obviously upset.
She's like oh my god, I wish, Iwish you had known Joel before
the drugs.
He was such a sweet guy, he wasan amazing guy, but he's just
weak.
Unfortunately he's weak andMaggie's like yeah, I mean it's,
these things happen.
Terry gets really defensive,like that doesn't mean he should
die.
(26:10):
I should know better thananyone about being weak.
I hadn't realized until nowthat Maggie may not know that
Terry was a call girl in herother life and maybe she did a
few drugs.
She doesn't know all that, butI feel like Maggie wouldn't care
either way.
Maggie tells her as much Listen, you had your past, you've
overcome it.
Look, maggie wouldn't careeither way.
(26:34):
Maggie tells her as much Listen, you had your past, you've
overcome it.
Look how strong you are.
Look where you're at now.
You're my sister.
Hold your head up.
I'm sorry this is happening toyou, but don't talk down on
yourself, girl.
Okay, so back off a globe,maggie, and getting their
investigation bag, and theydiscover, when they're going
through all of Joel's recordsand stuff, that he had a lot of
money in the bank.
What else they can tell is thatRichard is a person who paid
for his rehab.
So, there being a lot of money,they don't really know where it
(26:54):
came from, and the fact thatRichard paid off his rehab thing
.
A lawyer who is versed in lawcould probably present a case
for some sort of blackmail.
That's the story they're goingfor.
Also, though, there's not muchevidence.
So when Richard is confrontedby the manimal a little bit
later on, he says as much he'slike if you really had anything,
(27:14):
the police would be here, notyou.
The manimal asks well, why didyou pay for his rehab?
Richard says I'm aphilanthropist.
I do nice things all the time.
Maybe I did it for Terry.
Maybe Terry came to me crying.
Maybe you should ask Terryabout her relationship with the
joel, the manimal's.
Like I already know my coldgirl better than you.
There's nothing you can tell meabout her that I don't already
know what I'm talking about.
(27:35):
You right now, richard's gettingincreasingly more and more
pissed off.
He yells at him get out of myoffice, you can't prove anything
, get out.
I mean it doesn't look good.
But just like richard wasgetting close to finding out
about cassandra's past, themanimal and Maggie are getting
very, very close to pointing thefinger at Richard all behind
Lance.
He even put a reward.
(27:55):
He put a price on Lance's head$10,000 reward for anybody who's
seen this man.
Richard made sure that thephoto of Lance was like bad.
They wanted to make him lookexhausted, make him look like a
criminal, basically.
So let's get to Lance.
Y'all already know your boy isquite restless, he's horny, he's
lonely, he's getting reallybored and he is this close to
(28:17):
talking the, the cute 23 yearold cousin of Chow Lee, into
letting him escape.
Let me rewind just a little bit.
Lorraine followed Angela lastepisode so she knows where Lance
is.
She manages to get up to theroom after Angela and Charlie
leave.
Now, angela and Charlie, letLance know that we're going to
put you on the shippingcontainer.
(28:37):
You're going to go to Italywith the family.
You better not embarrass me,but I'll make sure Lorraine gets
on the boat with you and thenyou guys can be in Italy for as
long as you need to, at leasttill we get everything
straightened out.
He has that knowledge.
For whatever reason, he doesnot share that with Lorraine
when she comes up to the room.
So they do what they need to do.
He tells her to be strong,stand up to Angela, or else
she's gonna run all over you.
(28:58):
Lorraine's like I'm scared ofher.
It's like everybody's scared ofher.
But if you stand your groundshe's gonna respect you and
it'll go your way.
So she's like all right, I'lldo that.
She leaves and the 23 year oldcousin of Chow Lee comes up to
the door and Lance is like man,I'm kind of bored.
I could really go for someChinese food, and the kid's like
I could go for a cheeseburger.
So Lance pulls money out of hiswallet, like hey, let's go get
(29:20):
some cheeseburgers.
They're about to leave when bigcousin has to step in once
again.
It is very clear Ch, where ChowLee's family is real, real,
sick and tired of Lance'sshenanigans.
It's time for him to go.
So over at Falcon Crest we get apeek behind Angela's thinking
process.
She and Chow Lee are talking inher study and she says okay, so
(29:41):
when Lorraine comes home I'mgonna let her know that she's
gonna get on the boat.
I'm gonna make sure they'remarried, because y'all not gonna
be shacking up in my house oron a boat anywhere, and y'all
not going to be shacking up inmy house or on a boat anywhere.
And we'll figure everything out.
And chow lee agrees.
He's like yeah, we don't addher to the mix, this is going to
be a fiasco.
And angel's like no, you'reright, he's not going to listen
to us unless the rain is thereand the last thing we need is
him bursting out of that roomacting a fool.
So we'll just do that.
(30:02):
She also threatened lance,saying that chow lee's cousins
were going to f him up if hestarted acting up again.
And he's like I don't want himon smoke.
I already got beat up once.
I don't want any smoke.
So when Lorraine comes, she doesexplain to Lorraine what's
going to happen.
Boom, boom, boom.
I'm going to put you on theboat.
You're going to get marriedbecause y'all aren't going to be
(30:23):
shacking up on the boat, andthen we'll come and get you when
things are cleared out.
So it things are cleared out,so it's all set in motion.
Everything seems to be goingwell, until you remember that
whole karate kid action sequencefrom last episode where lance
fought three men and then thefourth cousin had to come
downstairs and beat him down.
Yeah, and the whole entireneighborhood saw it, and
(30:45):
lorraine showed up, pointed tothe window where lance is.
I forgot to mention that part.
There are so many indicators,there are so many tells about
where this man is at this pointis only a matter of time.
Plus, the biggest kind of thornin their side at this point is
Richard, and Richard has put outa $10,000 reward for the
(31:06):
capture or any informationregarding the whereabouts of
Lance Thompson.
So what do you know for thecapture or any information
regarding the whereabouts ofLance Thompson?
So what do you know?
One of the guys from theneighborhood who was minding his
business grocery shopping thatday and saw the fight is like yo
, I know who that is.
He goes to Richard's office.
I'm just going to say thisRepresentation is very important
(31:26):
and one of the most frustratingthings for me is listening to.
People have to play into astereotype so that the audience
can quote, unquote, understandthem.
This man is speaking in a veryclear, very forced Chinese
accent.
It should be a Chinese accentthat's easy to understand.
(31:47):
But this guy, as he's talking,you can hear the New York coming
out.
He's like $10,000.
He's fighting for his life andI'm like you know what?
We need representation Because,guess what, not everybody has
an accent.
Sometimes you do, sometimes youdon't.
If you have an accent, let'sjust hear the accent.
Anyway, dude comes up toRichard's office and he's like
(32:10):
yeah, I definitely saw this.
Matter of fact, there was awhole kerfuffle yesterday on the
street, very entertaining.
I saw your boy Leather pants.
Pam is sitting behind Richardand she's trying to thwart this
by saying well, how do I knowyou're not lying?
How do you know it was him?
How do you know this, that?
And the third she has to dothis because at the top of the
show she had to report back toRichard as to not finding Lance.
(32:33):
Only, the truth is she reallydidn't find them.
So the truth is.
Angela drove down to theapartments to visit Lance.
Lorraine followed her and thenPam followed Lorraine.
So she knows where he's at, butfor whatever reason she doesn't
want to tell Richard, probablybecause she doesn't agree with
the where he's at.
But for whatever reason, shedoesn't want to tell richard,
probably because she doesn'tagree with the way he's been
handling this.
So she tells richard when heasks.
(32:55):
He's like you don't know wherehe's at.
No, I don't know where lance is.
Did you follow angela?
She goes no, I follow thesheriff.
That's not true.
The sheriff never followedangela because he would have
found lance right away.
And rich was like well, whatabout chowley?
Are you following?
Following Charlie?
She goes yeah, charlie shops ata bunch of grocery stores I
can't afford to go into Very,very expensive.
That's all he does.
He buys expensive groceries andtakes Angela to her appointment
(33:17):
.
So when this man comes in, he'slike nah, I definitely saw this
kid the other day fighting inthe streets.
Richard says okay, cool, wouldyou be willing to tell the
police that?
And the man's like absolutely,what about that $10,000 house?
And Richard says well, if whatyou're saying is the truth and
if we find him, obviously youget the money.
The man's like bet I'll go downto the police station with you.
(33:39):
Now Pam has to think fast.
So she says oh okay, let me getmy purse and I'll follow you
guys.
Richard was like no, no, no, Idon't want you involved in this.
This is going to be me and him.
I want, I want to be there inperson when they put this fool
in handcuffs.
So instead of sitting in theoffice on her hands twiddling
her thumbs Leather Pants Pamgoes to Falcon Crest.
Now, right before she getsthere, Angela's heart thaws out
(34:02):
a little bit.
She is putting Lorraine inroute to getting on the boat.
You're going to go meet Lance,you're going to get on this boat
and y'all going to flee.
Charlie and Angela have decidedthat Lorraine needs to be with
Lance as he's transferred overto the boat.
Otherwise he's liable to notbelieve them, he's liable to act
up.
So Angela is saying her lastlittle goodbye.
So, lorraine, like you know, bestrong.
(34:23):
I promise I'm going to send foryou guys and make sure you take
care of that baby.
She even lets her hug her.
I can't believe it.
Lets her hug her, sends her onher way.
Leather pants.
Pam shows up in a red fedoraand no leather today.
And angela's like oh god, whatdo you want?
Leather pants, pam.
Or lpb asks for lorraine.
Lorraine ain't here.
Leather pants, pam.
What do you want?
(34:43):
Well, fine, since she's nothere, I'll just tell you richard
and the police are on their wayto pick up Lance.
Now Angela's like likely story.
This feels like a setup.
I know what you're doing.
You want me to call Lance andthen trace a call or whatever,
and then bum, rush him that way,not doing it.
Leather pants, pam was likewell, you don't have to, because
they're going to the thirdstory apartment right above this
(35:04):
laundromat in this neighborhoodwhere Lance is.
Angela's like oh, shoot, okay,why are you doing this?
So she, okay.
Angela immediately just grabsthe phone.
She calls and tells Lance yo,you need to get out of there now
.
Richard and the cops are headed.
That way, I'll get Lorraine toyou, Don't even worry about it.
So Lance, who is dressed?
(35:24):
I suppose he could be dressedlike a longshoreman.
To me he looks like somebodywho is escaping kidnapping and
about to go sneak onto a boat.
That's what he looked like.
But he's able to strut downtownor strut downstairs, get in a
car and be taken to the shippingyards.
Lorraine shows up in the GothamCity villain car with Charlie.
Moments after she's runninginto the building making a scene
(35:47):
, she gets all the way upstairs.
Right about that time the copscome Also.
Either Chinese is the mosteffective, efficient language on
earth, which I'm sure it'sgreat, I'm sure it is or they
didn't say nothing at all.
So Chow Lee and Lorraine get upto Lance's room and Big Cousin
(36:08):
is in there sitting on the bedand Lorraine's like what did you
do with him?
Charlie and big cousin, I swearthe only thing you hear is like
.
And Charlie says oh, he saidthat Lance ran off.
Like he did not say that.
In one word, there's no way.
You cannot tell me.
(36:28):
There is a Chinese phrase thatsays the six foot three renegade
, dressed like a longshorefisherman, escaped by going
downstairs and hailing a cab tothe shipping yard.
You can't say that in huh,there's no way.
So then cute 23 year old cousincomes running up and he also.
(36:49):
He says something like hedidn't even really say anything.
He's been running, so he's justkind of breathing.
And Charlie goes oh, he saidthe police are here.
No, he didn't.
So Lorraine's like oh my gosh,let me start running.
She starts running.
Charlie really does saysomething in chinese eventually.
Eventually, I guess he tellshis nephews or his cousins to go
(37:11):
stall, like please go dosomething to stall.
So by the time richard getsthere he sees the super villain
car and he's like the cops aregoing.
Do you think this is the rightplace?
Richard said I would bet mylife on it.
He didn't know lorraine wasthere at this point.
This is where it gets exciting.
The cops come running up thestairs.
Lorraine hears them, so shestarts running around the
(37:32):
building and she decides forherself that the best route of
escape is not to hide insomebody else's apartment, it's
to go out on the fire escape.
So the cousins come, they seethe cops and they just start
pointing up to the roof like ohmy gosh, he ran up there.
He went up there.
Like they're acting like theydon't know who he is.
So richard and the guy run upto the roof.
They don't know that lorrainehas gone out the window, so the
(37:53):
rain goes out.
She's on the tear on the fireescape.
One of the cops sees the openwindows and he runs over.
Now she is trying to veryslowly climb down without
incident.
Luckily she's wearing leathergloves, like people did in 1985,
didn't know't know that,crawling down as safely as she
can.
Well, the cop sticks his headout and he's like, hey, freeze.
Well, richard sticks his headup and he's like, oh my God, oh
(38:15):
my God, no, no, no, that's therain, that's the rain.
Do y'all remember when Eminem'smom, marshall Mather the rapper,
when Eminem's mom, he made thatsong for him?
Joe Dusty, I listened to.
I don't remember everything itsaid, but she's Marshall, I am
your mother, I love you,marshall.
(38:35):
Why are you doing this,marshall?
She was so monotone, it was sofly, it was hilarious.
That's exactly what Richardsounds like he's going.
Lorraine, it's Richard.
Lorraine, stop please, lorraine, it's me, lorraine, it's
Richard.
Lorraine, stop please, lorraine, it's me, lorraine.
(38:58):
Needless to say, it does notstop her.
As a matter of fact, it kind ofdistracts her.
Next thing, you know, her footslips and she's up dangling from
the ropes.
So Richard is speeding down,he's getting frantic, he's
freaking out.
Oh my God, lorraine, lorraine,lorraine, please, please.
Unfortunately, either theweight of him jumping down or
just her lack of grip, baby PoorLorraine falls.
(39:21):
I don't know how many floorsprobably two floors Splatter,
tat, tat on the pavement.
Ambulance has to come and scoopher up, put her in the ambulance
.
Richard is thoroughly freakedout by the end of the episode
and lance is left waiting on theshores, pissed off at angela,
like where is maureen?
She'll be here any minute.
She'll be here any minute.
They don't know, but she'sfallen, I don't know.
(39:41):
She fell to her death.
God, it's horrible to fall downa building regardless.
I don't know.
She fell kind of far, it'sdon't know.
She may not have survived that,but they have her wrapped up
and put inside the ambulanceregardless.
End scene.
God, that's so scary, but it'ssuch a good episode.
I like that.
Everything is coming to a head.
I'm most eager to find out whoCassandra and I always want to
(40:05):
call him Drake.
Was his name Damon AKA Riker?
I really want to call him Drake?
Was his name Damon aka Riker?
I really want to find out whotheir mom is.
Surely it's not Jacqueline.
Oh God, it better not beJacqueline.
They don't do that whole incestthing over on Falcon Crest.
So far they haven't, but theybetter not.
I just thought about that.
Maybe Jacqueline's in my headbecause of the backstory.
Also, I can't even imaginehaving to work that close with
(40:27):
somebody you couldn't stand orOregon said they didn't like
each other so bad that they hadto film scenes separately.
That's hard, but you know what?
That's what makes you an actor,that's what makes you a
professional.
But hey, by the time you get tobe a senior citizen, you don't
have time to waste.
I'm not filling with thatheifer.
You're gonna have to figure outsomething.
(40:48):
So I'd like to pose anotherquestion for you guys.
Who would you cast, who wouldyou recast in any of the roles,
on any of the soap operas?
We can go all the way throughKnotts Landing, dallas Dynasty
or Falcon Crest, or even apopular show that you like.
Who would you recast?
I'm going to go first.
I'd like to have seen DanAckroyd not Dan Ackroyd, the
(41:12):
original Gary a little bitlonger, but I don't know.
I think it'd be a totallydifferent character.
It'd probably be like howRobert Foxworthy would play JR.
It wouldn't be the same.
I wouldn't recast Fallon per se.
I would rewrite Fallon.
I'm gonna have to think aboutthis a little more.
All right, guys, that's it.
That's all for this episode.
Join me next time as we jumpback into some vintage primetime
(41:32):
soap opera debauchery.
Don't forget to send me a textin the show notes or email me at
SoapFloorPodcast at gmailcom.
In the meantime, in betweentime, do not get in fist fights
in public areas.
You never know who's watchingand $10,000 on your head is too
good of a deal to pass up.
Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and
(41:52):
keep all of your drama on TV.
Thank you, bye.
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