S4 Ep29 Falcon Crest: Confessions -The "Oh, It's Like That?" Episode

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"Oh, it's like that?" - the perfect phrase for this explosive episode of Falcon Crest where betrayal and revenge take center stage. Unlike other soap operas where only one villain typically wreaks havoc, everyone in Falcon Crest seems to be everyone else's enemy.

This episode delivers everything a soap opera fanatic craves - shocking confessions, physical confrontations, blackmail, and delicious comeuppance. Melissa finally admits to framing Lance but discovers her husband Cole slept with her cousin Robin, leading to one of the most spectacular catfights in primetime history. Meanwhile, Leather Pants Pam uncovers Richard's secret recordings and uses them to help free Lance from jail before executing her masterful revenge by purchasing the storage facility Falcon Crest desperately needs.

The brilliance of "Confessions" lies in how it positions multiple characters against Richard Channing heading into the finale. With Melissa, the corrupt judge, and Pam all harboring murderous intentions toward him - plus Lance now free with Angela's blessing - Richard better keep his head on a swivel. The episode perfectly captures the circular firing squad nature of Falcon Crest's relationships, where alliances shift and collapse within moments.

What makes this hour particularly satisfying is watching characters we've followed all season finally reach their breaking points. From Angela's gleeful meddling in Chase and Maggie's marriage to the tender bedside wedding between Lance and Lorraine, every scene builds tension for what promises to be an explosive season finale.

Ready to see which of Richard's enemies strikes first? Subscribe now and join our community of primetime soap enthusiasts as we prepare for the finale that might finally deliver the Falcon Crest explosion we've been waiting for!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome or
welcome back to SoFlor, theofficial gathering place for
newbies, novices and OG diehardfans of the golden age of
primetime.
I'm your host, jed, viewing andreviewing the Sophia Sudsia's
primetime storylines of 1984 and85.
So, whether you're new to thisor true to this, sit back and
enjoy.

(00:21):
Tell the kids it's time to playoutside or, out of sight, tell
babe no questions, suggestionsor concerns for the next 25 to
35 minutes.
Everyone else in the air shoutout be cool, be quiet or be
kicked out, because we arewatching the prelude to the
finale of our story.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys andgirls, this is SoFloor.

(00:44):
Hello, gorgeous Welcome orwelcome back to another
fun-filled edition of SoFloor.
I hope your day is shaping upwell If you're winding down.

(01:06):
Oh, thank you for joining metoday, this episode, when I tell
you I had a time.
Today I'm reviewing Falcon Crustand I know the consensus across
the board.
Actually, you guys are sort ofall over the place.
I feel like the people wholisten to my show absolutely
have a favorite and then theyhave other ones that they sort
of sprinkled in For a very longtime.

(01:28):
Falcon Crust was the favorite,but I've heard so many times.
Oh, it just got worse as timewent on.
Some people think season two isthe best.
Some people think season threeis the best.
I have not been disappointedwith season four, I think.
Looking at it as someone whodidn't know what it was, my
expectations are only good.
They have shown me time andtime again that they know how to

(01:50):
write a story and they know howto blow up a story.
Go ahead and grab yourselfsomething bubbly and bright as
we jump into season four,episode 29, confessions this
episode was an absolute blast.
I cackled the entire waythrough.
Man Falcon Crest does one thingbetter than any other soap

(02:14):
opera, in my personal opinion.
On Dynasty, on Dallas, onKnotts Landing, it feels like
you only have one antagonistgoing at someone else's throat
and maybe some other peoplecatch strays because they're in
the line of fire, but on falconcrest, everybody is everybody
else's enemy.
It's not just one, it's like 15.

(02:35):
I think I may call this episode.
Oh, it's like that.
Oh, okay, it's like that.
I see something to that effect,because that's the whole
premise.
That's the vibe I get watchingthis and it reminded me of the
first time I ever felt that inmy own life.
It was in the third grade andperhaps I didn't have the same
language that I would say today,but it was definitely like oh,

(02:56):
it's like that.
So you know, in elementarythere is nothing better than a
free day, a pizza party or an AVcart that comes in, or all
three in one, if you can help it.
My third grade teacher, miss Lee, was very cool.
She was a very strict woman butshe was very fair and she would
allow us to earn different sortof surprises or parties based

(03:19):
on these little dashes she wouldput in the corner of her
chalkboard, so they wereintended to spell out a word.
For instance, you see fivedashes there put in the corner
of her chalkboard, so they wereintended to spell out a word.
For instance, you see fivedashes, there'd be a letter I,
that's a pizza party, p-i-z-z-a,stuff like that.
She bought us Gak, nickelodeonGak from back in the day.
Y'all remember that beforeslime was a slime.
She was a lot of fun and wecould earn these prizes in these

(03:41):
parties from not just doingwhat you were supposed to.
You're supposed to turn in yourwork, you're supposed to line
up, supposed to listen.
But say you were in the libraryand the librarian said oh,
so-and-so was really awesometoday you have a great class.
She'd give us extra letters.
She started this at thebeginning of the year and by
November we had a really goodculture and a rhythm in the
class.
We knew how to get what weneeded.

(04:04):
One day in early November I'llnever forget, because in Texas
that's where it starts to getkind of cold.
It's like really cold in themorning, it's warm in the
afternoon and then it's realcold at night.
Coming in the classroom and MrsLee wasn't there, it was a
couple seconds we all sat downand then this lady walks in, mrs
Robinette.
I had seen Mrs Robinette around.

(04:24):
She had five or six kids, likeI know.
Some of them were my sister'sage.
She had like a kid inkindergarten and some in
elementary.
I would see her dropping herkids off and kind of coming in
out of the school.
That's not important.
The point I'm making is thatI'd seen her around but I've
never really formed an opinionabout her and I didn't have an
opinion about her that morning.
I didn't have an opinion abouther until lunch, when I tell you

(04:48):
, after this woman took role,she turned into the wicked witch
of the Southwest.
She flipped the script.
She's yelling y'all going to doextra work.
I don't want to hear anyriffraff, I want to see your
hair.
And like she just flips thehell out, I'm like, oh my God,
if I knew the term, pick me backin the day.
That's what I would have calledher.
We just couldn't believe she hadflipped out.

(05:08):
She was trying to be a teacher,but she was taking it to the
umpteenth level Instead of justfollowing the lesson plan left
to her.
She was kind of going off thebooks.
We were getting in trouble forevery little thing.
Somebody sneezed and somebodysaid bless you, we got in
trouble.
She kept saying two minutes,two minutes.
She would snatch off twominutes of our playtime, two
minutes of our reading time, twominutes of our free time

(05:30):
Because, in her words, if youwaste my time, I'm going to
waste your time.
She's flipping out At lunch.
As a class, I mean, most of usgot together like what the hell
is wrong with this woman?
She is tripping After lunch.
We come back in.
She's mad because she said ittook us too long to get inside
the building, took us too longto sit in our seat.
No lunch tomorrow.
It's like you can't take awaylunch, no playground tomorrow.

(05:53):
Oh my God, this is, this iswild.
We all prayed that she wouldn'tbe back the next day and the
next day we were verydisappointed that Tuesday
morning walking in her wasdevastating.
It was a visceraldisappointment.
It felt like I had a backpackweighing 50 pounds on my head
and you could just feel it inthe room.

(06:13):
We were so deflated, like, ohmy God, how are we going to get
through another day?
Well, at some point in the day,she finally notices a little
dashes in the corner.
I will never forget it was dash, dash, the letter E, dash the
letter R, dash, dash, dash.

(06:34):
Think about that.
We already knew that was goingto be ice cream.
It was going to be an ice creamparty.
She said well, what is thisover here?
What is this?
We all started explainingthat's, that's, this is our
prizes, this we're going to winthis.
This is how we do this.
She listens, she digests thefact that, okay, you guys can
earn a party.
Well, I had to tell you fourtimes to line up, which was a

(06:58):
lie.
She picks up the eraser, shewipes away one dash and then you
talk back to me.
She wipes another one.
She kept naming off these likenefarious infractions that did
or didn't happen, or she kind ofblew them out of proportion and
every time she'd make up one,she'd wipe away a letter or a
dash until they were all gone.
The silence that went throughthe class.

(07:21):
It was like, oh my God,everybody's jaw was on the
ground.
And that's when I felt it forthe first time, like oh, oh,
it's like that.
Here I am thinking you're goingto be a fair adult, that we're
going to have a fair chance.
But oh, it's like that.
Okay, bet, bet.
Apparently the class felt thesame way, felt the same way On

(07:47):
one of her many, many, manytrips to the bathroom and the
teacher's lounge to freshen upher caffeine addiction or her
diet caffeine-free Coca-Colaaddiction.
You remember those gold cans?
I swear she was drinking liketwo or three an hour.
It was ridiculous.
So she was constantly going tothe bathroom.
She'd drink a dietcaffeine-free Coca-Cola and then
chase it with tea.
Make that make sense.
You want caffeine or no?

(08:08):
Anyway, she left and we werelike, okay, we had to do
something.
What do we do?
What do we do?
Everybody moved their deskaround, everybody.
We start scrambling our deskmoving around, making it look
funny.
She comes back in the room,flips out get back in your seats
, flip it.
So everybody puts their deskback in order, but everybody
sits in the wrong desk.
It takes her a while to figurethis out because she hadn't
bothered to learn anybody's name, despite them being on our desk

(08:31):
.
She didn't notice.
So she's reading off of theroll call list and she's like
Jason read, and a girl raisesher hand to read.
We all start laughing, she getspissed, but she tells us she's
going to go get the principalstorms out.
We all, of course, sit back inour original seat quietly with
their head down reading.
He comes into the room.
He's like everything's fine.
She goes by.

(08:51):
He looks at our desk okay, yeah, that's that's her.
That's her, that's, it's fine.
He leaves.
She's furious.
Oh so we would just keep doingthings like that.
We figured out that work.
It did cost us playground timethe next day, so this would have
been like Wednesday, but wetook that time to sit in the

(09:13):
classrooms as we couldn't gooutside.
To come up with other plans.
It was decided, if she told us,to be quiet, nobody talked for
the rest of the day.
No matter what she says, justdon't say anything, Don't answer
her questions, don't do this.
We kept doing little dumb stufflike that, like somebody put
tape in her chair.
She left the classroom too andshe left it open.
But you know what?
It was all that war because shetook away our ice cream party.

(09:36):
We were going to get to go offcampus.
We were going to get to go tothe Dairy Queen I don't even
like ice cream like that butit's the principle.
I could have gotten a float, Icould have gotten a root beer,
could have brought my own moneyand got something else, but she
took that opportunity.
By Thursday afternoon she was sofrustrated she had started
crying and I hate that.

(09:57):
I laugh, but I was eight yearsold.
I'm going to give myself a pass.
We laughed at her.
She refused to come back afterlunch, so we all had to pile
into the classroom next door,which turned out for the best,
because that teacher was notreally trying to teach double
the classroom.
So we all just got to kind ofplay outside and just do
whatever she was like.

(10:17):
I'm not even going to try toteach all today, we're not even
doing all that.
And it felt good.
It felt good to sort of enactsome revenge.
Mind you, it didn't ruin herlife, it didn't really change a
lot.
She didn't substitute, as faras I can remember, for the rest
of that year and that Friday wegot a very cool substitute who
just kind of followed the rulesand was like hell, it's Friday,
let's just chill.
But it felt good to enactrevenge.

(10:39):
It felt good to go after theperson who thought they were
going to take something preciousfrom you and things were going
to be sweet.
I think not, mrs Robinette.
This episode is a whole lot likethat.
Nobody's on this episodegaslighting an overzealous third
grade substitute teacherdrinking diet, caffeine-free

(11:00):
Coca-Cola by the boatload.
But there is a lot of sort ofjumping ship here, okay, so at
the top of the show, melissaasks Richard to meet her at this
park.
She needs a neutral location.
As you know, she's having areal hard time.
She already told the manimalthat she will turn herself in.
However, the more she thinksabout it, the less she wants to

(11:21):
go to jail.
So she turns to the only personshe can think of, richard.
He's waiting for her at thispark because she went and got
her her dead, so she was late.
He was not too keen aboutstanding out there like a weirdo
.
He didn't have any kids towatch.
She just looks crazy out there,very uncomfortable Melissa,
what is it?
She breaks it down to him Well,maggie and the manimal have

(11:45):
figured out that Lance wasframed.
They know exactly who did it.
They know it was Joel.
I need you, rich, we in thistogether.
And Richard's like who is we?
She's like me, you, we, youhave just as much stake in this
as I do.
And he's like or, I havenothing at all to do with this.
The funny thing about this isthat Melissa is basically
telling Richard that the manimalfigured it out, but she didn't

(12:08):
tell him that.
She sort of confessed to it.
So he's saying well, just don'tsay anything.
Why bring me into this?
Just don't say anything.
He doesn't really know anything.
Melissa says no, he knows thatLance was framed.
He knows Joel was paid.
He knows who did it.
I mean, I couldn't even lieabout it.
He's bluffing.
If he had any information hewould have turned you on a long
time ago.
She's like well, I mean, youknow you were involved.

(12:30):
Who's involved?
Me, not me.
So then she goes on to threatenhim.
She flips the script a littlebit.
She's like well, if you tell onme.
If you cooperate, this, I'lltell him you had something to do
with it too.
And he's like well, maybe I'lltell them that you tried to pay
me to kill Angela.
Maybe you paid Joel to killAngela.
She's like you know, that's nottrue.

(12:51):
It doesn't matter if it's trueor not.
You paid $50,000.
I didn't.
So I mean, what are you goingto do?
She starts getting mad becauseMelissa has a hairpin trigger,
but then she collects herself.
She's like okay, being honestin work, let me use my feminine
wilds.
She tries to seduce him, butthat's damn near impossible to
do in a butter yellow skirt suit.
Richard ain't really into thepastels, I suppose.

(13:13):
Because he turns on his heelsand he walks off like good luck,
toots.
She's furious.
She's yelling, acting ateetotal fool at this playground
, yelling after him.
He's going to.
You'll rue the day.
I'm coming for you, Richard,you creep, she's going off.
She basically is like oh, it'slike that.
Now you don't know me.
Okay, bet I got something foryou, rich.

(13:35):
Meanwhile, back at Falkengrust,the owners being Chase, angie
and Richard and Leather PantsPam, are all having a meeting.
They get right to insultingeach other.
Angela's like I'm so glad,lorraine is all right.
Richard's like yeah, how isLance?
Is he still in jail?
No, that was a low blow.
Angela has to quickly remindhim of how trifling his mother

(13:57):
is.
She can't stand Douglas'sbastard Say you know what.
You must have inherited yourmother's tack Trifling.
Funny thing is that's Chase'smom too, but he doesn't seem to
get offended.
Matter of fact, he's like hey,can we get this done?
I got stuff to do.
The whole purpose of thismeeting is that they're going to

(14:17):
do the whole Helios deal.
They're going to have theirwine in all sorts of grocery
stores or wherever it's sold.
They just need a bigger storagefacility and they need sort of
manufacturing for a biggeroperation.
Keep this in mind Webster Wineand Market I might be messing up
the name, but just understand.
This would be perfect storageLeather Pants.

(14:39):
Pam was like oh yeah, I knowthat place.
It just came up on the market.
Now Richard's pissed.
Maybe he's a little bit pissedbecause in the back of his mind
he already knows that this wholeLance being in jail thing is
not going to stick because ofthe Joel revelation.
So he snaps at her.
You should be telling me this.
Why didn't you tell me that?
She's like I'm sorry, I didn'tknow you were going to need

(15:00):
storage.
I had no clue.
He gets really pissed.
Leather Pants Pam basically sayshey, you got to move on this
really quickly.
A place like that is not goingto stay on the market for very
long.
He gets mad.
Who signs whose check here?
Who's the boss here?
Matter of fact, why don't youleave?
Go back to the office, go Get.
He kicks Leather Pants Pam out,but she sticks around just long

(15:21):
enough to ear hustle to see ifthey're going to really take the
deal.
Angela's like you know whatKick her out or not, she's not
wrong.
We really do need to hurry upand get this thing going.
So Leather Pants Pam is obedientfor the time being and she does
go to the office.
She's able to move a littlequicker because she's wearing
lighter fabric.
She's not a stitch of leatherin sight, matter of fact.
She has on a really tailoredmen's suit, but it's tailored to

(15:44):
fit a woman.
It is gorgeous.
She goes to Richard's officeand she's sitting at his desk
and I can only assume that shewas about to like handwrite her
resignation.
But something catches her eye.
She opens a drawer and shehappens upon a tape recorder
with about 20 cassette tapes.
She picks up the tape recorder,which you know probably weighed
like six pounds heavy.

(16:06):
She quickly discovers thatthere's a cord from the recorder
to the telephone.
Oh, wow, wow, richard, it'slike that.
Okay, it's like that.
She figures out pretty quicklythat he has been recording every
single phone call he has,including the ones with her.
She feels a way about it.

(16:26):
Back at Falcon Crest, the threeowners do decide they're going
to go ahead and go in and try tobuy this Webster place.
But Angela needs to be messyshe's a messy auntie after all.
So she goes over to the winehouse to talk to Connie.
Hey, connie, don't you doscouting for Chase?
Connie is busy.
She's doing wine stuff.
No, no, no, I don't do that.

(16:46):
Chase usually does that.
Well, aren't you with him?
Sometimes?
Yeah, I mean sometimes, I go,but right now I'm working on
wine, what you need?
Angela's like oh, nothing, justtell him I stopped by.
But aren't you worried?
Aren't you concerned about howit looks, you and he walking
around together?
Somebody might get the wrongidea.
Connie at this point is likeokay, what does this old lady

(17:07):
want?
So she spins around and she'slike Angela, that is ridiculous.
That man is very happy he loveshis wifey, not telling Angela.
She already tried to put themoves on him and he said no, but
Angela is sneaky, she's likewell, I mean, I'm sure he was,
but his wife is so ambitious,you know, she's in San Francisco
day and night, night and day.
A man like that might getlonely.

(17:28):
That's all I'm saying.
All right, well, I got to go,connie, you'll give him my
message, won't you?
Connie says yes, angela, I getyour message loud and clear.
This is where it gets a littlefishy to me.
I can't imagine that Conniewould be on board doing what she

(17:49):
does next.
We'll get to that here in asecond.
The best part of that scene,though, is that Angela kind of
looks like she's doing thetemptation choreography.
She sort of slides out sideways.
Such a messy boots, messyauntie.
We got to get back to Lorraine.
Lorraine is still in thehospital, nary a cast, but she's

(18:10):
tired.
I guess the whole episode.
She seems a little bit drained.
Richard is there.
He's reading her the comics inthe Sunday paper, I suppose.
In comes Leather Pants, pam.
Now she is killing it allepisode long in these tailored
suits.
Maggie has on one a littlelater on too.
They're so just beautiful.
So she comes in holdingsomething.

(18:30):
She's sort of hunched over.
She brings this girl a goldfishand not just like a goldfish in
a bag from the pet store.
She bought the whole shebang,but she put it together and then
walks into the hospital soshe's sort of hunched over,
trying to not slosh water around.
Can you imagine how long thattook her to get there?
If you get in the car you drivewith, come on, now you're

(18:50):
driving with a bowl of water anda fish in it, and then she had
it decked out like SpongeBob.
It's got the trees, it's gotthe rocks, it's got the little
cave, all the things.
I just picture her strugglingin the parking lot or having to
drive like three miles an hour.
Whoever is dressing her, though, though, is really loving the
Michael Jackson looks.
I feel like she looks like moreand more like Michael Jackson

(19:12):
as the season progresses On.
Today, when she's visitingLorraine, she's got on the white
suit from Smooth Criminal.
This scene shouldn't have beenfunny, but it was funny to me
and I'm sorry.
But I'm not sorry also becauseit's not real.
Pam is sitting at Lorraine'sside.
Lorraine is grateful for thegoldfish and the water and all

(19:33):
that, but she's upset.
She's like I lost the baby.
I know, oh, I'm sad and lanced.
That's not funny.
What's funny is the way leatherpants pam was looking at her.
I swear to you, she's fightingback, laughing.

(19:54):
She's trying not to crack asmile because the acting is so
abysmal and I'm like, oh my god,put this girl back in a coma,
please.
The more she talks, the worseit gets.
She definitely ain't winning noawards anytime soon.
I'm sure she became a betteractress.
I saw her in Malcolm X.
She was much better than I mean.
But this ain't it.

(20:15):
Leather pants Pam and her lightand linen has big things to do.
She drives down to SanFrancisco to talk to Maggie.
Now, maggie is a busy woman,but she's also in demand.
She's getting all sorts ofvisitors this day.
So she stops by and Lorraine islike, excuse me, leather Pants
Pam is looking aroundcomplimenting her on the office,
which does look better.
It looks like they got rid ofTerry's decorations and just

(20:38):
made it look better.
Last episode Maggie had tried toget Leather Pants Pam to turn
on Richard, but she didn't havea reason to at that time.
She does today.
She's like hey, girl, I gotsomething for you.
She reaches in her purse, handsher a tape.
You're going to really enjoythis hair tape, maggie, do with
it what you will.
And Maggie's like well, what isit?
She tells her this is aconversation between the judge

(21:02):
and Richard.
I'm sure you'll find everythingyou need to acquit Lance.
Do whatever you want to do withit.
Maggie's like are you sureLeather pants?
Pam is like absolutely, I wantto make sure I burn every bridge
to a crisp.
I like that she's doing what shehas to do so that she can't
back out of it.
Let me go ahead and turn youall the way in.

(21:25):
You ain't loyal, I ain't loyaleither.
Well, maggie has no choice butto call the manimal.
The manimal comes.
They listen to it on a littleboom box.
I hear the judge saying well,what do you want me to do?
You want me to throw the jury?
Blah, blah, blah.
You hear richard saying hewants a conviction.
It's the smoking gun thatthey've been waiting.
Well, after hearing that themanimal has some roaring to do,

(21:46):
he gotta leave.
He's gotta go make copies.
They'll meet again a little bitlater.
So as he's leaving, maggie'smale secretary comes in,
announces she has yet anothervisitor.
Miss connie giannini is here tosee you.
She's like okay, cool, go aheadand send her in.
Connie comes in and she lookslike anne of green gables.
In this sunday, go to meet aneaster hat from the early 1900s.

(22:08):
Now it's either cream or peach,I can't really tell.
But I will go ahead and admitthat I am biased and I recognize
my hypocrisy.
But I'm going to go ahead andsay this as I'm laughing at her
hat.
Something in the back of mymind is like Jet, that looks an
awful lot like the millennialhat Again it does.
That looks an awful lot likethe millennial hat Again it does

(22:30):
.
What is a millennial hat?
You know exactly what it is.
If you've ever seen a pictureof someone between the ages of,
let's say, 30 and 45, they tooka family photo and they're
somehow in the grass orsomething in a prairie dress.
I promise you they have on thatwide, billed, flat hat sitting

(22:50):
on the back of your head.
She looks like Anna GreenGables and I'm sticking to it.
The millennial hat didn't curveup.
This one does.
Anyway, maggie is cool.
She's happy to see Connie.
Connie is her girl, they'refriends, right.
So she's like Connie, what areyou doing here?
Connie says she's just in SanFrancisco picking up a ting or

(23:11):
two for Maggie's husband.
Chase thought I'd stop by andsee what a big, important lady
like you works at.
Oh yeah, girl, hey, becomfortable.
Well, connie's like no biggie,I can't really stay.
I wanted to come by and say hey.
And Maggie's like yeah, youprobably should get back on the
road because I know howimpatient my husband is.
Connie says well, he's neverbeen impatient with me.
Now Maggie's not picking upwhat Connie's putting down just

(23:33):
yet Seems like an innocentcomment, right?
Maggie says well, this is stillnew, you don't know him that
well.
Yet he has nothing to play withbefore 10 am with no coffee.
Connie's just smiling, allsweet, well, he's been super
sweet to me.
So Connie's leaving.
She's only came for 30 to 45seconds, which is really weird.
But as she's leaving, maggie'sholding the door.
Connie turns around and shesays Maggie, what would you say

(23:56):
if I told you I was falling inlove with your husband?
Maggie's got that resting smileface.
Some people have an RBF, shedoesn't.
She has a resting, pleasantface, an RPF.
So she's smiling and she'spaused like wait.
I mean I, I guess I wouldn't bevery comfortable with you guys
working as closely as you do.

(24:16):
Well, do you?
Are you in love with him?
Connie just gives her the monalisa smile kind of, shrugs her
shoulder, turns and she's liketurning to leave and she tells
maggie, don't worry, he's inlove with you.
She spins on her heels and, Iguess, twirls to the elevator.

(24:38):
Maggie is left like what?
Me too.
That whole scene.
I was like wait, wait, what wasthat?
A line in the sand.
Maggie's looking the same way.
She's like do I slap this winchor do I let this?
What was that?
Is she hitting on my man or shenot hitting on my man?
Is it like that?
Is it like that, connie?
She's perplexed, while Maggie'strying to figure out if this

(25:00):
woman is coming for her man ornot.
Melissa is still none the wiserabout what went down with Cole
and her cousin.
Quick refresher Melissa got itin her mind at one point that
her cousin could be thesurrogate mother.
Only they're not going toinseminate her, they're going to
do it the old-fashioned way sheand Cole.
Melissa changes her mind afterCole flips out at dinner and

(25:21):
leaves.
She tells Robin okay, yeah,that was a stupid idea.
I can't believe.
I thought that Robin goes aheadand sleeps with him that night
anyway, because he didn't hearthe rest of the conversation.
Okay, before all that can godown, mellie Mel has already
been rejected by Richard.
Next best thing is Chase.
Let me go get my father-in-law.
He knows a lot of people intown.

(25:41):
He'll let me know the rightthing to do.
She's just trying to keepherself from going to jail.
Last thing she needs is a lifesentence, or however long, and
to be away from baby Josephagain.
So she finds Chase at work andshe confesses to him that she
was the one who hired Joel, theFlorida man, and she's like
listen, I'm sorry, chase, I wasa little bit pissed off at

(26:05):
Angela when she disinherited me.
Lance said something slick to myface and I didn't appreciate it
.
So I asked the Florida man tosprinkle some crack on him.
I wanted him to get like acharge, a drug charge, so that
he wouldn't be able to get theinheritance.
I didn't know this kid wasgoing to fly off the handle, go
willy nilly and try to murderpeople.
I didn't do it.
I didn't sign up for that, butI did pay.

(26:26):
What are we gonna do?
Can you help me, please?
Help me please.
Chase, of course, goes full dadnote on her.
I can't believe you did this,melissa, that are so selfish.
Why didn't you say something atthe beginning of the trial?
Why didn't you say somethingwhen lance was arrested?
Why didn't you say something atany point before he became a
fugitive on the run?
All valid points, all validpoints.

(26:46):
But also she didn't want to goto jail.
Lance shouldn't have saidanything slick.
So Chase says okay, he's sort ofon the same page as the manimal
, melissa.
If you come forward and you'rehonest, probably not going to go
as hard on you as they wouldsomeone else, let's go tell
Sheriff Robinson.
Melissa's like okay, I was kindof going to do that anyway,

(27:06):
chase, but I really need to talkto Cole first.
I don't of going to do thatanyway, chase, but I really need
to talk to Cole first.
I don't want him to hear it, Iwant to be the person to tell
him.
Chase tells her hurry up, yougot things to do.
So back at Melissa's house.
This is where things start toget interesting.
Cousin Robin is a totallydifferent person in front of
Melissa, and when she's behindher back, she's not the kind of

(27:29):
woman you want to leave aroundyour man, even if this is
supposed to be a deal.
Quote unquote Cousin Robin hasdecided she's going to stick
around and stay in town.
She hadn't said nothing aboutbeing pregnant, she hadn't told
Melissa nothing, but she hastaken it upon herself to use
Cole's credit card.
Now how he did that I don'tknow.
She said I put it on yourcharge card, so maybe they have
an account.
At a store.

(27:51):
She went and had an airbrushedt-shirt made that says baby.
You know, like when you go tothe mall and they used to have
those kiosks and the peoplewould airbrush something on a
shirt for you.
This is a hideous, hideousshirt but it says baby and she's
like like well, it's for all ofus talking about, it's our
pregnancy, all three of us.

(28:12):
Cole is uncomfortable, but whatcan he do?
Robin throws the shirt in thebox just as melissa's coming
into the house.
Melissa sees robin and you gotto think about this.
Robin is in town because sheknows she's pregnant and she
still wants to sleep with cole.
Melissa doesn't know that.
Melissa thinks she's about togo to jail the last thing she
wanted her cousin there.
So she's like Robin, I'm sosorry.

(28:33):
I know.
I told you you can stay, but Ithink you need to leave.
Robin's like what, why?
Melissa's like you know thingshave changed.
Robin says you told me I couldstay as long as I want.
I know, girl, I know I saidthat, but things have changed.
We really just kind of need alittle privacy right now.
Well, robin looks over to Colewho's sitting on a secret

(28:54):
himself and he's like we cangive it a few more days.
Melissa's like okay, cool.
Once Robin leaves the room,cole and Melissa say at the same
time I need to tell yousomething.
They both kind of laugh it offand agree to have dinner that
night.
Question how do you think thisis going to go over?
I sort of thought Robin wouldexpose Cole if he didn't

(29:15):
cooperate and sleep with her.
That's kind of how I picturedit going down, but it was better
than I thought it would go.
But also I was just like really.
So Melissa and Cole go to thisfancy restaurant.
She's decked out, she's gotthat toddlers and tiara pageant
hair, her and Terry.
This episode.
I don't know what the heck thestylist was thinking, but I

(29:41):
guess she tells Cole off camerawhat she did, tells him all
about Joel.
He goes full dad mode on her.
Melissa, that is the mostselfish, stupid, immoral thing
I've ever heard.
Why did you do that?
I can't believe you did that.
She's like I know.
I know, cole, I feel awful.
I didn't mean for this to gothis way.
I just needed Florida man tosprinkle a little crack on Lance

(30:05):
.
That's all I asked for and hewent and did all this other
stuff and I feel really bad.
I feel awful.
Please, please, don't leave me,cole.
Please don't leave me this mofo.
He says well, I can't leave youbecause we're going to have a
baby.
Can you believe he felt likethat?
Okay, okay, Devil's advocatehere.
That is a perfect time to slipthat in, because she already did

(30:27):
something too.
So it's like two wrongs don'tmake a right.
But it definitely keeps youfrom being the person who's the
most wrong at this point.
You know what I mean.
Who's more wrong?
You slept with my cousin.
You sent an innocent man tojail Melissa.
Let's go back to Melissa.
She's sitting there.
She's like wait, who's having ababy?

(30:49):
She ain't pregnant, cole.
You definitely ain't pregnant.
Who's having a baby?
We are Robin's pregnant.
How you know how?
No, I don't know how.
She didn't say that.
That's, this is just the finish.
He's like it was.
That night I slept in the winehouse.
I'm not proud of any of this.
Here's the thing I respectMel's hairpin trigger because

(31:13):
although she's pissed althoughshe could easily dash him in the
face with a glass of wine, shedoesn't.
She immediately stands up andlike we deserve each other but
she's on a mission, they leaveand she manages to stay super
pissed off the entire trip homeCause she knows Robin.
On that same night that heslept in the wine house knew

(31:34):
that she didn't want that to godown, she knew it.
So now she knows that Robin isher aunt.
So now she's like oh, it's likethat, it's like that Robin.
Okay, bet, when I tell you thisis the most delightful, one of
the most delightful scenes I'veever seen on this show.
I love it, melly.
Mel comes bursting into herhouse, picture toddlers and

(31:58):
tiara hair and a cocktail dress.
She comes into the house,bursts into the living room.
Robin has the audacity to beasleep on Melissa's fresh couch
in a Laura Ingalls Wilder gown.
Melissa ain't having that.
She swings her obligatory soapopera clutch round and she hits
Robin right in the face with it.

(32:19):
Wake up, baby.
Just put whatever word youwanted to.
What would you say if you foundout your cousin seduced your
husband or slept with him behindyour back and then has a nerd
to be pregnant.
Talking about this, our baby,all three of us.
Melissa ain't having it.
She starts wailing on her Ican't believe you did this.

(32:41):
I want you out of my houseswinging on us with robin don't
know what.
Oh, my god, let's calm down,let's go.
No, we had a deal.
We had a deal.
We ain't got no deal.
She finally stops long enoughfor Robin to say but you paid me
$50,000.
I'm like God.
Melissa's money is long.
How many $50 increments is shedoling out this season?

(33:03):
My God, that was the wrongthing to say to this woman.
That was the absolute wrongthing to say to Melissa, because
she revs back and suckerpunches Robin in the face.
Robin goes flying over the backof a high back chair, blouse
splatter, tat, tat, all on thecarpet.
Melissa, don't give a damn.
You're not supposed to kickanybody while they're down.
She ain't trying to hear that.

(33:23):
She leaps on top of this womanand continues to beat her down.
It is Jerry Springer, all overagain on top of this woman and
continues to beat her down.
It is Jerry Springer, all overagain.
Cole comes to the door.
Melissa, now he, in my opinionhe took a little long.
He let her get in a few morepunches than was necessary or
not.
I'm not one to judge youroutbursts.
That's a perfectly reasonablecrash out of you.

(33:44):
I was mean, but you know thewoman's pregnant.
I guess Melissa was like you,ain't pregnant in your face.
She's punching her all in herface.
So to my surprise, cole runsover and he picks up robin, not
because he's favoring her, buthe knows she's in a delicate
situation.
So robin's really playing up.
Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
That's the woe is me.
What was me?
Melissa, don't give a damn.

(34:05):
I wish all you gotta watch it.
She didn didn't even let Robinlike get her bearing, she didn't
even let her turn over beforeshe leaped on her and start
punching her.
But Melissa starts crying andof course Cole goes over to her
because that's what it is, andshe's like I can't believe you
did this to me, Cousin.
Robin is still saying Melissa,we had a deal, we had a deal.
Cole's like yeah, this was youridea, you were the one who just

(34:27):
said this.
Melissa said no, I changed mymind.
And he goes, you changing yourmind, don't change this.
We have to ride this through.
She's here, this is the threeof our baby.
We gotta just we gotta figurethis out.
I mean, it's easy to say it'snot his fault, it's really not.
However, he's a little tooself-righteous for me, for me
personally, because you, youdidn't actually tell me that you

(34:51):
slept with her.
I had to figure it out when shecame back.
Plus, they don't really know ifthat's Cole's baby.
We don't even really know ifshe's pregnant.
That's neither here nor therebecause Melissa has to turn
herself in.
So Sheriff Robin comes overwhere Chase and Maggie live a
little castle.
She just starts spilling herguts and he's like hey, hey, hey
, don't say that you don't havea lawyer present.

(35:11):
Stop talking, stop talking,stop talking.
Sheriff's trying to be on herside.
She ain't really having it.
Cole is pissed and it's prettyclear in this scene why Melissa
picked Chase instead of Cole,because he's got a temper just
like hers.
Chase, cole and Melissa go downto the police station.
We don't really see that oncamera.
Apparently she's booked.
She had an attitude down thereand then she's released.
But before she left she waslike Maggie.

(35:36):
I'm so, so sorry.
I hope you don't hate me.
Maggie's not even tripping.
I think Maggie is back on hermommy juice or her Xanac or
whatever.
She doesn't seem to be bothered.
But she looks great.
I love the tailored jacketsthis episode I'll stop talking
about it.
But man it looks, it's so good.
I can't believe I'mcomplimenting these 80s clothes
as much as I am.
Compliment goes a long way.

(35:56):
You know what I'm saying,especially in a relationship.
Chase comes back from droppingMelissa off and he tells Maggie
how it went down.
Now he's got his shirtunbuttoned all the way below his
what is it?
Clavicle.
He's got his shirt unbuttoneddamn near to his belly button,
chest hair on fleek.
He's wearing a vest and, youknow, after he's up to Maggie

(36:23):
he's trying to get a littlesomething going Like you know
what's up?
Maggie?
Miss you boo.
But she's busy, she really isbusy, and she's like I'm so
sorry, I can't really do this.
I got to go to work.
And he's like okay, well, fine,fine, okay, cool, it's like
that.
She's like no, it's not likethat.
Listen, when I get home fromwork I'll cook you a delicious,

(36:44):
scrumptious meal.
He's pissed, he's's like Idon't want no cook and he want
that cookie.
She can't give it to him.
He says maggie, I'm rackingtonight, which I can only
presume means stacking winebottles or preparing them for
something.
That's what it sounds like tome.
Maggie here is that she's likeoh, you working tonight, that's
cute.
Is honey gonna be working withyou?

(37:05):
He's like I don't know, maybe.
Then she tells him.
She's like well, do you knowthat Anne of Green Gables came
to my office today and basicallytold me she was in love with
you?
And he's all laughing, please.
He scoffs, knowing damn wellthat she tried to.
She kissed him last week.
He's like oh yeah, no, whatever, chase has his mind on his
money, his money on his mind.
She is the finest champagnemaker in all of Falcon Crest and

(37:35):
the last thing he's going to dois blow that relationship.
Chase will not be confessinganything this episode.
He just looks really annoyed.
Like okay, fine, cool.
Maggie says I love you.
He picks up her bag and stuff,hands it to her.
Love you too.
Bye, fine, bye, maggie.
You can squeeze one in.
It's all good.
You know who did squeeze one in?
Pardon, my French, Richard andCassandra.
So there's a scene where theyare in bed post-coitus talking

(38:00):
about nothing and everything.
Richard finally confesses I'monly doing all this so I can
destroy my brother and Angelaand take over Falcon Crest.
What's your deep, dark secret?
And Cassandra's like whatsecret?
Oh my gosh, I have gotten aheadof myself.
In my haste in me reliving mythird great nightmare, I forgot
to tell you guys about Emma,this episode.

(38:23):
So Emma and Riker have a verybrief scene where they're at a
restaurant.
Riker excuse me, damon says toEmma I'm really glad you were
able to get out today.
She goes yeah, this is at thebeginning of the episode.
So this is like as the meetingwas happening between Chase,
angela and Leather Pants, pamand Richard.

(38:44):
Emma tells Damon that she wasbasically kicked out of the
house because she likes to earhustle and the last thing her
mother needs is for her to catchwind of what's really going
down.
But she tells Damon anyway whatshe heard.
She's like I don't know.
Something big is about tohappen.
They're shifting things atFalcon Crest.
Everybody's very nervous, butI'd be the ear hustler so I had

(39:06):
to leave.
The waiter comes by and Emma isold fashioned.
She says Damon, why don't youorder for me?
You pick out dinner, I'll pickout dessert.
So he picks out dinner.
He picks out a fine bottle ofwine and he says what's for
dessert?
She reaches in her purse,slides over a Harry Potter key
and says me.
He's like word, yeah, me, rikerDamon.

(39:31):
I'm staying in a hotel tonight,I'd sure like some company in
said hotel.
He's looking into her eyes andhe's like ah God, you're being
so vulnerable and so sweet.
He's like damn, I'm catchingfeelings, but I can't really do
it.
If I do that, I'm crossing theline.
Mind you, he went off on hissister last week.
Him and his sister were talkingto each other about how they're

(39:52):
both falling in love and theyare, so he can't very well take
him to bed.
He's like listen, I can't, Ijust can't do it.
Emma is a little embarrassed.
She's like oh, I'm so sorry.
Was I too forward?
Is that?
Was it me?
He's like listen, let me tellyou something, little girl.
Let me tell you something rightnow.
Under any other circumstances,I would drag you out of here,

(40:17):
take you to the SS Enterpriseand we would have light years
worth of fun.
However, a brother can't dothat.
Right now.
I have something on my mind.
She's like it's cool, I hearwhat you're not saying and one
day, when you're ready to tellme, you can tell me, but not
Emma trying to set up a littleappointment.
Okay, let's put the pedal tothe metal, let's get to it.

(40:42):
Oh, I love this.
So, maggie and the manimal, theyhave the tape incriminating the
judge, thanks to Leather Pants,pam.
So what do they do?
They are costumed at work.
Now, why a judge is beingpicked up from work in a
limousine, I'm sure I don't know.
Last time I saw his car it wasa Mercedes, but today he has a
driver.
I guess that's that Richardmoney.

(41:02):
I didn't think about that.
Perhaps this is his new coin,which only further incriminates
him.
So Maggie and the manimal getinside the limousine, trapping
him in the middle, and they sayyou should let Lance out of jail
, he's innocent.
The judge scoffs Likely story,wouldn't you like it?
The manimal points out thatMelissa already went and

(41:23):
confessed.
She's like.
So what are you holding on to?
The judge says nah, nah, nah,nah.
He might not have tried to killhis grandma, but he did take
off running.
He is on the run.
He did a whole lot of otherstuff.
I tend to believe the manimal.
If you weren't guilty of theoriginal crime, are you
incriminated?
Are you guilty of the thingsthat followed after that,

(41:46):
probably in real life, but noton a soap opera.
So Maggie's like, okay, dangManimal, he's not listening.
The Manimal's like yeah, no, no, no.
So Maggie's like oh, what do wehave here?
Let me dig in my clutch, myobligatory soap opera clutch.
She pulls out the tape recorder.
She's like bam, you want tohear this song?
Push play.
All you hear is a judgeincriminating himself.

(42:06):
Yeah, let's buy off the jewelry.
Yeah, let's send them to jail.
Blah, blah, blah.
It's terrible.
Maggie and the manimal Eminemtell the judge you're going to
tuck your whole career in.
There's no more judging for you, baby.
And he's like you can't do thisto me.
This will never stand up in thecourt of law.
They're like yeah, it might.
I mean it might.

(42:30):
I could take it to the globe, Icould post your business all
over the world.
If you really want it like that, I can do that.
I have it like that.
The judge is like it's likethat.
Maggie says it's like that.
So he, in the span of about 45seconds, loses his whole career.
A man like that is not going totake that lying down, matter of
fact.
He's pissed.
He's super, super pissed.
Maggie and them have to get out.
He says garçon, drive me toRichard's place.

(42:53):
Garçon, or whoever the driveris, drives this man to Richard's
radio station.
Now Richard's in there talking.
Richard's talking on the phone.
This man pulls a Dexter thejudge.
He just kicks the door down,poof, busts off in there.
Richard, you bloodthirsty sonof a bitch.

(43:14):
Richard tries to maintain somecontrol.
I didn't hear you knock.
Where's my secretary?
Oh, your secretary.
The judge is like oh, okay,guess what, guess where I was,
guess what I've been doingLetting your little friend out
of jail.
You know, lance Compton is freenow, right?
Do you know?
I was run up on and I had totuck my whole career away

(43:35):
because of you.
Why do you have such a bigmouth?
Why are you running your mouth,richard?
Richard's like what the hellare you talking about?
He starts digging his ear.
I don't think I heard you right.
What are you saying?
The judge is like the manimaland Maggie played a tape of you
and I chit-chatter, chatter,chittering, incriminating
evidence, saying all sorts ofthings.
Now, I ain't got no job.
Richard's like dang, that sucksto be you, but I ain't got

(43:56):
nobody else.
I ain't got nobody.
No tape.
The judge is like oh, youdidn't.
No tape me ass.
Where's the tape?
Where is it?
He starts flipping stuff over.
He's getting increasingly angryas time goes on.
So he leaps over the desk,homer Simpson styles, and starts
choking out Richard.
So Richard was like.

(44:21):
Luckily he's super tall andapparently he's pretty flexible,
because he reaches over hishead behind his back and he
pushes the little call button onhis phone, which is very
impressive and I don't know ifcops live there, if that's the
cop button.
But two police officers comebursting in the door and when I

(44:45):
tell you it takes both of themto pull him off of Richard.
He is, he's acting like a totalbull.
He's being drug out and Homeboyis kicking and screaming and
threatening Richard's life.
And in the midst of all thekerfuffle in walks, leather
Pants, pam and Light LinenLeather Pants.

(45:07):
Pam has a delightfullybeautiful light blue jacket on
and she's got that smile on herface, the same smile she had
when Lorraine was with her.
She was losing the baby inLance.
It's not funny, oh my God.
There's a smug satisfaction onher face, like mm-hmm, mm-hmm,
yep.
Richard has now put two and twotogether.

(45:30):
He knows exactly how that tapelanded in Maggie Neal's lap.
How long have you worked with me, pam, a couple years and we had
a good relationship, right?
She's like what do you want toask me?
Ask me the question that is onyour mind, richard, please,
please, ask me the question.
I was like, all right, he gotthe nerve to be mad.
He says I can't believe Icouldn't trust you.
I thought I could trust youafter this long.

(45:51):
She's like oh, you did.
You thought you could trust meso much that you recorded my
phone calls too.
He's like nevermind that,forget that.
Lance is walking around free.
She's like he should be walkingaround free because he was
innocent.
Remember, you were the one whoorchestrated this whole thing.
I just can't believe you, pam.

(46:13):
I can't believe you did this.
He's going to go see Lorrainenow.
Good, that's where you belong.
That's why I did it Honestly.
I did it because I went and sawLorraine.
She terribly acted, but pulledon my heartstrings.
I did what I had to do.
He's like I just can't believeyou.
She's like you know what?
You think you can't trust me.
I'm going to give you a reasonnot to trust me.
I did what I did, oh well, he'slike oh, it's like that.
It's like that, richard.

(46:34):
Real quick, lorenzo Lamas, asLance is adorable this episode.
He's in it very briefly.
Angela and the manimal show upto tell him he's free, you
getting out of jail.
He looks, he's so adorable,he's super cute this episode.
So he skips to the loo.

(46:55):
You know what the first thinghe does?
The first thing he does is runto the hospital to Lorraine's
side and for the first time inmy lifetime, I ain't never seen
this on TV.
I'm sure it's happened before,but he and Lorraine have a
shotgun wedding right there inthe hospital.
They have a guy come in andhe's reading him.

(47:16):
You know, do you take her, doyou take him?
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
She's sitting up in bed, nary apiece of gauze or anything on
her head, got her hair did alittle bit, a new gown, and
there's two witnesses.
Do you know who the twowitnesses are?
Nurse, no name, some dude, andthen nurse 12 hours.
Yes, that nurse, the same nursewho turned Lance in.

(47:43):
She not only is at the weddingas a witness, she got the nerve
to be crying, she has the nerveto cry at their wedding after
she sold them up the river.
She didn't even take the bailmoney, she just did it because
she was tired and pissed off.
Maybe she had her coffee, maybeshe had a nap.
She felt better afterwards.
So anyway, they're marriedbedside and, unfortunately,

(48:03):
richard comes.
He's in the hallway.
You can see him in thebackground.
He has a Snoopy doll, becausethat's what he was reading the
comics from.
He knows that they're marriedand he's disgusted, he's pissed
off.
He needs to go pick on somebody.
Who is that?
Who is the doormat of thisfranchise?
Good old aunt terry.
He goes by the horse stablesand I don't know why.

(48:25):
I guess they just needed her inthis episode.
She's in her toddler and tiarahair too.
She's in the horse stablesenjoying small virtue.
Richard comes up.
You know, I still feel a wayyou were supposed to feed me
information about the manimal.
She says Richard, you can'tpossibly be serious.
You know, there was absolutelynothing to tell.

(48:45):
Plus, terry blew up her ownspot.
So, like Richard has, there'snothing hanging over her head.
He's like.
That's not the point.
The point is you were supposedto tell me stuff.
She's like and okay, it is whatit is.
What am I supposed to do now?
What do you want?
Oh, I don't know.
He just kind of tells her watchyour back.
In other words, just watch yourback, keep your head on a
swivel.

(49:05):
Terry, I'm coming for you.
This is really vague threat,smirks and walk off.
So now she's all uncomfortable.
You can tell she's like well,what the hell?
What else does he know about me?
Oh my gosh, I just thoughtabout this.
He's probably gonna tell maggiethat she used to be a call girl
but didn't.
Did she already tell her that?
I can't remember.
I don't think she said itexplicitly, she just sort of

(49:29):
hinted at having a shakybackground.
That matters not, because we'regetting to the ultimate gotcha,
gotcha.
So remember at the top of theshow at the beginning of this
episode, that whole Webster andwhatever that storage facility.
Apparently they decided theywere going to go ahead and buy
it.
This time Richard walks in andhe is not in a good mood.

(49:51):
But Angela is there and she'ssuper happy because, number one,
her grandson's out of jail.
Number two, lorraine is marriedto him.
And number three, she knowsthat's going to piss off Richard
.
This is all the more sweetbecause Angela has not forgot
that little dig that Richard hadat the last meeting about Lance
.
Oh, lance is in jail, he's outof jail, he ain't on bail.

(50:12):
He California dreaming withyour baby girl.
Now Richard immediately saysthat was a real cute little snot
.
You pulled there and gettingthat marriage license for Lance
and Lorraine.
And she's like, oh you know,it's the least I could do.
You're lucky Lance made yourlittle girl an honest woman.
You're lucky Lance made yourlittle girl an honest woman.
Well, this little old ladysecretary comes in right about

(50:33):
there before they could, youknow, dig on each other anymore.
And the little old lady's likecan I get you guys anything?
I'm assuming she meant likecoffee or tea or something, or
an ice cold, caffeine free dietCoke in a gold can?
Angeline trying to hear that?
She's like, yeah, you can getme your nincompoop of a boss.
Tell me to get out of here.
I got stuff to do.

(50:53):
Well, ain't no nincompoop onthe premises.
No leather either, but lightlinen.
Pam shows up bold as the day islong.
She owns a Webster and WineStorage lock, stock and barrel.
She was not joking when shesaid she came to burn bridges.
She is burning them to a crispand now she's looking at them

(51:16):
like you hoes are going to payme $50 million if you want this
here.
Facility Chase.
I don't know why they threwthis line and he's like oh, so
you make a $10 million profit?
Obviously, why do you sellthings otherwise?
Do you sell things to losemoney?
Obviously, she needs some money.
Rich was like I can't believeyou did this.
It's like that, pam.

(51:37):
She's like it's like that, rich.
Matter of fact, I should bethanking you.
I learned a lot working withyou.
I saved a little money.
I bided my time.
Next thing, you know, when theopportunity hit, after you
kicked me out of that othermeeting, I said to myself I said
so, go on and buy this, andthen you're going to make him
buy you back.
So I did just that.

(51:57):
Richard is salty, but there'slittle to nothing he can do.
The clock is ticking.
They need this Helios deal andthey need a storage facility,
like yesterday.
So they have no choice but topony up the money.
Richard is just looking at herall out the side of his eye.
She basically tells him Richard, knock if you buck.
He's just staring at her like,oh, I hate this wench.

(52:18):
So we're going to just likeokay, cool, I'll go ahead and
get you a check for the moneyfirst thing in the morning.
Pam, she's like oh, can you makeit tonight?
I got a plane.
You know what I'm saying Ithink I used to do.
I love it.
Angela's looking her up anddown and she's like dang, I hate
to tell you cause you know Idon't like you like that, I
can't stand you at all.

(52:39):
But, dang, you make me proud.
I couldn't have done thisbetter myself.
I have never liked you, littlegirl, but I respect a woman
about her money, money.
I'm proud of you for gettingthat bag.
Well played, pleather, pam.
Richard is big mad as everybodyelse leaves.
He thinks she's gloating, or atleast he wants her to gloat so

(53:01):
that he can do this.
Next thing he goes oh, you mustbe really proud of yourself.
She's like no, not really.
I'm actually kind of sad at theway this all turned out.
This was never how I saw usgoing, richard, I hate that.
It had to be like that.
But no hard feelings, right,it's just business.
And he's like yeah, okay, okay,it's like it's business, cool,
cool, cool.
She's like well, if you're everin england, hit a girl up,

(53:21):
unless it's the summer, becauseI'll be at french riviera in the
winter, I'll be in tahiti, sohit me up in the fall or spring.
And Richard was like well, howare you going to do all that
when you're tied up in Interpol?
She's like I beg your pardon.
He's like well, I mean Pam, youhave all those connections to
the cartel.
She's like Richard, wait, Iknow you're not.

(53:42):
Saying, I know you're not thatdumb.
He says, oh, but I am.
Richard had gone to the feds assoon as Pam left his office
because he was bitter, becausehe's a little girl sometimes he
has turned over a folder, a fileof all the little dirt she did
for him, omitting himself.
Obviously because the feds arestill looking for ties to the

(54:05):
cartel.
I had all but forgotten aboutthe cartel after they buried
that guy alive in the cave.
No, they're still looking forsomeone to blame and apparently
the hammer's about to come downon Pam's head.
She looks Richard right in hiseyes like you better be lying.
I know you're not that dumb.
And he's like I don't know whatto tell you.
Enjoy your freedom while yougot it.
She's like it's like thatRichard, it's like that Pam.

(54:29):
She starts yelling at him I'llkill you.
I'll kill you dead, I'll blowyou off the face of this earth.
Which made me really excited,because that means we're
probably going to get a FalconCrest explosion.
I miss the pyrotechnics.
I think we need a little bitthis episode and I hope it comes
at the finale end scene.
I cackled so much this episode.

(54:50):
I loved it.
This is the first time we'vehad a cat fight on Falcon Crest.
The guys have punched eachother a couple of times.
I remember Chase hit Lance inthe stomach with a giant wrench,
but we never had a cat fight.
We had two fights this episodeand I've been thinking if you
are a Falcon fiend, you alreadyknow this.

(55:10):
At the end of season two,jacqueline stepped in front of
the bullet and took it forRichard.
She ended up dying.
Thank you so much.
Oh my gosh, I got some moreFalcon Crest tea.
Thank you, oregon.
I totally forgot.
I'll say it on the next episode, but I thought that was really
funny that Jacqueline actuallydied because her Jane Wyman
didn't get along.
But anyway, bullet was meantfor Richard.
He didn't die.
Then, the end of season three,the plane goes down because

(55:31):
somebody was trying to killRichard.
He didn't die that time.
Richard is the commondenominator.
At every finale he's got thewhole world coming for him and
on this episode he pissed offthree people.
He got Melissa super pissed offat the top.
He's got the judge super pissedoff towards the middle and

(55:51):
leather pants, pam at the veryend.
Plus, lance is out of jail now.
I find it very difficult tobelieve that he and his
grandmother don't click up ascheme to destroy him.
Richard, better keep his headon a swivel.
I cannot wait to see whathappens on the finale.
All right guys, join me nexttime as we watch all four of the

(56:13):
season closers Falcon Crest,dynasty, dallas, knott's Landing
.
I don't know which one I'mlooking forward to the most.
I kind of think Dallas.
I need to see what's going onthere with Sue Ellen.
I feel like I haven't seen themin a long time.
I am fiending for me someDallas.
I'm just really interested tosee what happens on Knot's
Landing, even if this wasn't thefinale.
I just need to see what thisaftermath is.

(56:35):
I cannot wait.
Oh my God, I can't wait to talkabout it.
Dynasty should be fun, fullyexpecting to have a good time,
and I'm expecting explosives onFalcon Crest.
If you're listening to this onyour mobile device, you can send
me a text.
Let me know who you are rootingfor.
Let me know what you've thoughtof the season thus far.
Check the show notes for thelink that says send us a text.
Or you can reach out theold-fashioned way and email me

(56:57):
at SoapLorePodcast at gmailcom.
That'sS-O-A-P-L-O-R-E-P-O-D-C-A-S-T at
gmailcom.
In the meantime, in betweentime, if someone tells you oh,
it's like that, keep your headon a swivel.
You never know if a thirdgrader is going to ruin your

(57:19):
week or if a judge is going tocome leaping over a desk and
choke you out like Bart Simpson.
Stay hydrated, stay moisturized, mind your own business and
keep all of your drama on TV.
Thank you, bye.