September 10, 2024 • 26 mins
In this episode of the Sober Living Stories podcast, we're joined by Tina Sasso, a nurse practitioner, holistic wellness health coach, and survivor of relationship trauma who is passionate about empowering Women Survivors of Relationship Trauma. Her mission is to help them take charge of their health, boost their energy and confidence, and achieve their optimal health and life goals.
Today, Tina bravely shares her story for the first time of growing up in an alcoholic household. Tina reflects on her experiences cleaning up after her parents' late-night parties and the overdeveloped sense of responsibility she felt as the eldest child trying to maintain order at a young age. Her upbringing led to patterns of codependency and perfectionism that shaped her life choices, relationships, and even her achievements in academics and dance.
Through our conversation, Tina reveals how she transformed those early struggles into a positive, successful life as an entrepreneur dedicated to helping others. She opens up about the transition from high school to college, the recent realization that sobriety offered unmatched benefits, and the challenges of balancing a social life with academics while avoiding following in her family's footsteps. Now celebrating nearly a year of sobriety, Tina shares how this journey has led to personal and professional growth, including launching her own business and coaching other women to reach their potential.
This episode highlights the powerful impact of therapy, EMDR, and making positive choices. As Tina’s entrepreneurial journey continues, she’s committed to guiding others through their transformations and towards a healthier, happier AF life.
She supports women in a private Facebook community called "Tina Sasso-Love Your Health," a 90-minute Health Audit session, a 10-day natural detox challenge called “Shred10 Challenge”(grab yours free below!), a 12-week personalized 1:1 Health Coaching program, and a customized Small Group Health Coaching program.
Grab your Shred 10: 10-Day Natural Detox Challenge normally $27 yet FREE for listeners! (click below):
https://tina-sasso-np-holistic-wellness-health-coach.ck.page/products/shred-10-na?promo=JOY
Connect with Tina Sasso here:
EMAIL: hello@tinasasso.com
LINKEDIN: (8) Tina Sasso, FNP-C and HWHC | LinkedIn
IG: https://www.instagram.com/t_sasso?igsh=MXg3bnE1cmxpb2R0bg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
Sober Living Stories Podcast Host Jessica Stipanovic is a writer, podcast host, and founder of the Female Entrepreneur Organization. Join here:(1) Female Entrepreneur Organization | Facebook
Grab your gift for listening today! 👇
Click Here: https://www.jessicastipanovic.com/the-7-day-happiness-challenge
A FREE 7-Day Happiness Challenge | a mini workbook filled with 7 pages of positive habits to help you create the best version of YOU.
Connect with Jessica Stipanovic during the week here: Facebook
Sign up for weekly episodes straight to your inbox: Jessica Stipanovic
Connect with me: https://linktr.ee/jessicastipanovic
Your story matters.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Growing up in an alcoholic home.
As the oldest child, Tina livedthrough and cleaned up the
aftermath of many late nightparties her parents had.
She learned to ignore theelephant in the room.
As an adult, Tina had severalmoments where alcohol did not
lead to the best decisions andshe always feared crossing the
line into problem drinking oralcoholism itself.
After two years of healing work, she's been a nurse
(00:23):
practitioner and a health andwellness coach all along.
She's now bringing thatdecision she made to be
alcohol-free into her practiceto help others.
Listen in to hear her personalstory what it was like and what
it's like now.
(00:45):
Welcome to the Sober LivingStories podcast.
This podcast is dedicated tosharing stories of sobriety.
We shine a spotlight onindividuals who have faced the
challenges of alcoholism andaddiction and are today living
out their best lives sober.
Each guest has experiencedincredible transformation and
are here to share their storywith you.
(01:06):
I'm Jessica Stepanovic, yourhost.
Join me each week as guestsfrom all walks of life share
their stories to inspire andprovide hope to those who need
it most.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Sober Living Stories podcast
(01:37):
.
Meet Tina Saso, a family nursepractitioner and holistic
wellness health coach.
Today, she's going to share herpersonal story.
We'll discuss her growing up inan alcoholic home to the point
where she made her own decisionto let go of alcohol, and we're
going to hear about the freedomand growth she experienced from
doing that.
Welcome, Welcome, Tina.
(01:58):
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Thank you, Jessica.
I am so grateful to be here.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yeah, I'm excited that you're on to hear the
benefits of what this year haslooked like you being
alcohol-free, but I'm interestedto hear your personal story.
I know a lot of listeners canrelate to growing up in an
alcoholic home and some of thetraits that you took on from
that and how you took it in youradult life to heal from that.
(02:25):
So let's just jump in.
Take us as far back as youwould like to go.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Thank you so much.
So for me, I think, when Ithink about sharing my story
with this, it brings me back towhen I was a little girl who
would go to her bedroom.
So my parents were young andthey were alcoholics.
Two of them are in recovery now.
Um, I have a step dad and momthat are um in uh recovery and a
(02:51):
dad who, you know, drinks, um,but not excessively.
But growing up there was a lotof parties, you know, every
weekend was um alcohol.
There was also drugs involved.
I was the oldest child and so Iwould kind of, you know, see
the paraphernalia, see thedrinks, see the mailbox you know
that was on the ground after aparty night and so just kind of
(03:13):
cleaning up after all that.
But when I was a real littlegirl memories that I don't
remember clearly I remembergoing in my bedroom and just
playing music and just escapingbecause there was fighting.
My dad would get really angryand violent when I was really
little, and this was, I know,under five years old, because my
mom left when, when I was fiveyears old, and so I know there
(03:33):
was physical abuse and there wasyelling and there was lots of,
you know, lots of negativity.
Obviously that came with withthe alcohol, and so I would just
I remember just going to myroom and closing the door and
just drowning it out with music.
I also got into just dancing,you know, when I was little it
was just an outlet for me.
(03:53):
However, I also remember, as Iwas a little bit older about 12
years old, you know, havingyounger siblings I would just
really kind of I learned to makeeverything okay, to fix
everything.
You know, everything wasn'tokay, but I was learning
(04:14):
codependency at an early age andI was, you know, cleaning up
after them.
I was, you know, making surethe kids the younger ones were
okay, sure, the kids, theyounger ones were okay.
So those times when there wasparties like that, I would just
be the one to kind of feel likeit was my responsibility when it
wasn't at 12 years old.
So those are some of the earlymemories I remember.
(04:35):
And then, as I got older,realizing now, after some
healing, that I took that intorelationships.
So I went into choosing men whoI could fix.
Subconsciously I didn't thinkabout it that way, but looking
at it now I realized that's whatI was doing.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Oh, wow, that's interesting.
Yeah, so I hear aboutcodependency time and again when
a guest comes on and I havenever really looked at that in
my own history, but now havebeen since hearing about it.
And then, yeah, that'sinteresting how you took it into
relationships.
So, from your 12 year old self,what did your teenage years
(05:15):
look like?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
So as a teen, I was the one that you know did really
good.
You know, I felt like that Icould control how I did in
school.
I could control how well I didin dance, and so I was.
I would just pour myself intomy studies.
(05:39):
I was really, really hard onmyself.
I still can be, butperfectionism was my drug of
choice at the time, you know, asa teenager.
So I just, yeah, I danced, Icompeted, I did well on school
and in dance.
But looking back, I know nowthat I could control those
things, even though I couldn'tcontrol the environment.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Sure, yeah, I often hear people can either.
You know, regardless of whereyou come from, if you grew up in
an alcoholic home, I know somepeople take the direction of you
know, copying what they've seen, and others take the direction
of not doing anything andavoiding that at all costs.
So it seems like you know.
(06:22):
I never heard anybody speak ofperfectionism as a drug of
choice, but I can completelyunderstand that and I think that
was really well said and itwill resonate with many people.
So, going into after highschool, what did it look like?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
So after high school I was introverted when I was
younger and just kind of focusedon school and dance and
perfecting those things.
And then when I went to college, it's like a switch.
I was extroverted overnight soand I did the things I said I
wasn't going to do as far aspartying and getting drunk, and
(07:02):
every weekend I partied.
Now I it wasn.
Now I wasn't with men or thosekind of things, but I would go
with my girlfriends, I woulddance and I would drink and I
had a card.
I was underage.
They came and they cut the cardso I could go to the bars and I
was going at 19, 18, 19.
I can't remember when I got.
I think I was 19.
(07:22):
So two years before I legallyshould have been, and I was
partying every weekend.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah, and it was like you're probably your first
taste of like freedom from yourhome to being at college.
I know it was for me and kindof a similar.
So throughout college, did itchange?
Did you flip it again back toacademic excellence and all, or
did you follow a different path?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah, I still, I still studied hard.
Looking back, it was, it washarder because I was probably,
just like you know, dehydratedand sleep deprived and all the
things that come with partyinghard, but you know, a little
more resilient, you know thatlong ago.
But I so I still worked hard inmy, my grades.
I think the perfectionism wasalways there.
(08:08):
But I also, you know, lookingback, there was definitely
problem drinking.
You know I drank too much formany years on and off, and I
always feared, as I got older,my twenties, my thirties, even
into my forties, that I alwaysfeared um it being more than
(08:31):
just, you know, occasionallydrinking too much where I didn't
.
Besides, so much alcoholism inmy family, my aunts, uncles, my
parents, I always had that inthe back of my mind, that fear,
that worry about, you know,having an alcoholic you know
(08:53):
Right, sure, absolutely, yeah,they.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
They say it's a family disease and you know that
genetic predisposition is couldbe real and and often is.
So, yeah, I can understand thatfear.
So how did that play out foryou?
Did that cause you to pull back, or no, for many years, did you
?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
continue to have problems with that For many
years, like I was, it was alwayssomething that didn't affect my
work, or you know, you know, I,I became a nurse and then I
became a nurse practitioner andI, you know, and I, you know, it
never affected as far as how Idid professionally.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Your professional life.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yeah, sure, but relationally, looking back, it
did, because I've spent.
I made many choices, partners,you know, different things.
I made many choices thatweren't the best choices for me
and I, looking back the commonthread, until until the last
couple of years, I didn'trealize this, but the common
thread was always alcohol.
(09:50):
So it's what kept me back, it'swhat kept me to make, you know,
making bad choices.
The thread was always justalcohol was the only thing I
could come back to.
That was the common thread.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
So what did?
What does it like Now for you?
You know you gave a goodpicture of where you came from,
but I know that you recentlymade a decision to live alcohol
free.
So how did you come up to thatdecision?
Was there any turning point itwas?
Did anything happen?
Or did you just decide on yourown, like this is something I'm
(10:26):
going to give a try, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
I think that, um, and throughout over the last few
years, I've been thinking aboutit.
A few years ago I was in arelationship that was not
healthy.
It was my, the lastrelationship I was in, and I was
just really reflecting and he,he was hiding drinking, he was,
you know, I'm pretty sure he'san alcoholic.
(10:50):
And I found out, you know, inthat relationship.
I found out, you know, in thatrelationship and during that
time I thought, wow, you knowwhat, about what for me, like,
how is this serving me or notserving me?
But really over the years it'sjust been a cumulative thing.
And then I started, really thelast two years as I was single,
you know, not in relationshipjust really doing a lot of
(11:12):
healing work.
I was doing EMDR, I was goingthrough another recovery program
for healing from narcissisticabuse and I was going just doing
a lot of self love and selfcare and healing.
And in that process I really gotdown to what is serving me in
my life and what is not servingme and the things that were not
(11:35):
serving me I needed.
I was just letting go of one byone, so toxic relationships,
you know, negative self-talk,and then alcohol, I knew was one
of those things.
That was the biggest thingreally that I felt I needed to
let go of for me to be myhealthiest self, and for me, I
(11:55):
have faith too, so it was whatis going to help me live in line
with what God, the best thatGod, has for me.
You know my best, yes, there'sa book, but you know, to live my
best, yes, and to live the bestlife that I have.
I, you know we don't, life isshort and you know what is going
to serve me for the remainderof my time here, you know, and
for me, alcohol just was thatthread that just I felt like I
(12:21):
thought about it so many timesover the years.
I finally got to this pointwhere I just needed to let go of
everything that wasn't servingme.
I also read a book calledEuphoric, and that book really
was.
I read that at a time when Iwas ready to really let go, and
so, yeah, that was June 11thlast year, coming up on a year,
(12:41):
and I've never felt better andI'm so grateful for that
decision.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, isn't that amazing?
Like sometimes books just likejump off the shelf.
They're like you have to readthis and it changes.
It helps change your life, youknow, and I really commend you
for you know, going to therapydoing that work.
I'm not familiar with EMDR, butI do have a friend that does
that type of therapy.
So what is that type of therapy?
(13:07):
Just briefly.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Yeah, so it's just it's eye movement,
desensitization, reprogramming,and that's what it stands for.
And basically, whether it'ssound or you know, you can kind
of follow a finger, you can havethe sound that beats in your
ears back and forth, but thetherapist, the trauma-informed
(13:31):
therapist, brings you back to atime where of trauma or just a
really challenging time in yourpast, and then basically
replaces those memories withempowering, strong, new memories
, and so when you're triggeredor when something comes up in
(13:51):
the going forward, you kind ofhave your reprogrammed, your
brain is rewired in a way sothat when you are exposed to
that trigger or that memory orthat situation or that
environment again, you willrespond differently because you
have, you know, replaced it withnew memories and new thoughts.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Wow, yeah, that's really good, and therapy too.
Thank you for that because Iwas always curious about what
that was.
I had no idea.
So everybody deserves to be ina healthy relationship, you know
.
But oftentimes, you know, wetake things from our childhood
or our past and we just chooseincorrectly for many years, you
know, until we grow an awarenessabout how, to, why we were
(14:34):
doing that and why we chose whowe chose, and make changes, you
know, based on the betterversion of who we're becoming.
And you know cause.
I think everybody deserves to befree from, you know, living out
habits that hinder us and tobecome the best version of
themselves.
You know, and I commend you fortaking those steps to do that
that hinder us and to become thebest version of themselves.
(14:55):
You know, and I commend you fortaking those steps to do that.
I congratulate you on beingalcohol free for as long as you
have been, and it seems likeit's really was a great choice.
And you know, letting go ofthose toxic relationships, um,
identifying what was hinderingyou and then taking this action,
steps to do it you know so sothe book euphoric um I I know
(15:17):
that you had said prompted you.
What were a couple of things inthat book that jumped out at you
.
If somebody wanted to, you know, take it off the shelf and read
it for themselves.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
That's a good question, cause it's been so
long since I read it.
Um so for um.
I think just she gave a lot ofgrace throughout the.
You know I'm big about grace.
Really just giving yourself thegrace and space to just be where
you're at on your journey andnot comparing, and just you know
(15:50):
, doing what's best for you,what serves you best, and so for
me, throughout the book she didtalk about that.
She said, you know, whetherthis is something you decide to
decrease your alcohol or there'ssomething that you decide to
ditch, you know for good.
She kind of allows you to bewhere you're at through the book
.
So I just liked that.
(16:10):
She talked about becomingpresent and really being able to
join the moment, which I havebeen more aware of the last
couple years, of just being inthe moment and enjoying that,
because in the past I've been solooking, you know, thinking
about the past or worrying aboutthe future and just really
being in the moment.
She also talks a lot about likejust letting go of the shame
(16:36):
and, you know, stepping into thebest version of yourself, your
best health.
So yeah, it's just a lot ofwhat she's talked about is
something that kind of I alreadyheard or resonated with or
believed, and but the way sheput it together in this book and
focused on ditching the alcoholwas just the perfect
combination for me and theperfect, perfect time for me to
(16:58):
to read it yeah, I think great,yeah, giving yourself grace and
is so important.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
And also the present tense.
You know, um, with codependency, you know taking care of so
many people, or thinking that wehave to and nobody even asked.
Also, being perfectionist.
Those are a lot of my friendsays tabs that are open in our
brain, right Like we have somany cause we're responsible for
so many things.
(17:25):
And when you learn to not be oras I'm learning not to be,
nobody asked, I'm notresponsible, everybody's
responsible for their own lives,kind of like, closes that up a
little bit and so we are able tofocus better and show up as
better versions of ourselves,and I really agree with that.
(17:45):
So what do you have for yourfuture?
Like, what is your hope foryour newfound sobriety?
Do you want to continue it?
Is it something you're justtaking by the day?
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Yeah, so I love living an alcohol-free life and
I really believe that it's whatI'm going to continue.
At this point I'm coming up ona year but I really feel like at
first I didn't want to say thisis going to be forever.
I liked the idea of thinkinglike you know, yeah, this is
(18:19):
just one day at a time and I'mnot sure if this is three months
or six months or what is thisgoing to be.
But now that I'm coming up on ayear and seeing all the
benefits which I can share in aminute, but like seeing all the
benefits that I've had in mylife, because with letting go of
that, I think it's for me it'sconfirmation that this is the
healthier life for me, that thisis the best version of myself
(18:44):
when I'm not drinking.
And you know, mocktails arereally good.
I've found, you know, there's alot of mocktails out there.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
The world is definitely opening up for people
who are not drinking.
You know, you know 10, 10, 20years ago, like I don't know, I
mean, it was just like drinkyour water and, you know, find
your place.
And now there's non-alcoholicbars and just everything.
And you know, I never went forthat for the first decade.
I just wasn't really interested.
(19:11):
So so I guess I was kind ofscared to to yeah, Cause to me I
didn't want to glamorize itRight.
But other people today they'relike growing up in a new
environment, so and they'refinding that, that they are good
with that.
So it's really an individualchoice.
And also tell us some of thebenefits that you've experienced
(19:33):
this year.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah.
So this past year, you know I Iam a you know, like you
introduced, but a nursepractitioner and health coach.
My desire really is to leavethe clinic full time and to
really have my own business.
And so with that, you know youneed help and you know, with
letting go of alcohol, I reallybelieve that it's helped me just
really go after my dreams.
(19:55):
And so I got a business coach Iworked with for several months.
I'm working a small group withanother coach now I just started
with and really just takingsteps into entrepreneurship,
which I put off for years.
You know, instead of cominghome on a Friday night and
having a glass of wine or two,I'm, like you know, preparing my
(20:16):
for my small group healthcoaching, or I'm, you know,
writing an article for theHelpful Living magazine, or I'm
doing things that are going tohelp move me forward instead of
just numb me.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
And you know, because I quote unquote need to relax,
yeah, yeah.
So you're replacing it withthings that are creative,
professional ground.
You know, you're like settingthe groundwork for your online
business, and that's really,that's really great Cause I
think alcohol can do that.
It can kind of make you standstill.
It's like that old bar stoolmentality or sitting there
saying I'm going to do this oneday and then it just never
(20:53):
happens.
You know, you can, you canwrite the article, but maybe
it's not submitted and and paidfor.
You know.
So I had that experience formany years submitted and paid
for you know so I had thatexperience for many years, so I
can understand that and relate,yeah.
So what else is another benefit?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Have you had any physical benefits from putting
down alcohol?
Yes, so brain fog, my gosh, theclarity.
Just less brain fog, moremental clarity and confidence.
You know alcohol is adepressant and it really can
fuel.
Even though I've never beenclinically depressed, I know
that looking back, I mean evenjust over, just over a year ago.
(21:34):
You know, coming home, like Isaid Friday night, I'm not not
in relationship alone havingwine.
I mean I was, I'd be crying, soI was very emotional.
So I'm less emotional.
I'm have more clarity, lessbrain fog, more confidence, more
energy.
I mean to work out to, to take,you know, to walk I walk almost
daily and to just stayphysically active.
(21:56):
I'm also not as dehydratedbecause alcohol is dehydrating.
So there's so many benefitsphysically but energy,
confidence, decreased brain fogand then just less anxiety and
depression.
I mean mental health can reallytake a toll.
Alcohol can take a toll onmental health.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Yeah, yes, I agree with that.
I think a lot of times we wellfor myself, I thought it was
helping me for so long.
It's like, well, I can't putthis down.
I mean, a lot of times we wellfor myself, I thought it was
helping me for so long.
It's like, well, I can't putthis down.
I mean, this is the only thingI have while I'm so depressed or
I have so much anxiety, notknowing that it was actually
making it worse, and so, when weput it down, the increased
confidence it's scary, of course, to put a habit down that's
(22:40):
been helped.
You seemingly think it's beenhelping you for so many years,
but, you know, in order to moveforward, I think we have to do
things that are uncomfortableand things that we're fearful of
, and the benefits are so big,you know, and brings you back to
a life of meaning.
You know productivity, so, andI think that you definitely said
(23:03):
that you're experiencing all ofthat I'm so grateful that you
came on and you shared yourstory.
I think it was so impactful andit's going to touch so many
listeners.
So can you tell us what you'regoing to be doing in the future,
where people can connect withyou during the week and what you
have coming up.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Yeah, so right now I've actually been blessed with
an opportunity to work withwomen in recovery and I'm doing
a small group health coachingprogram and I'm really enjoying
it.
Where you can find me is rightnow I'm working still on the
website, so you can find meright now on my email address,
which is hello at TinaSasocom.
(23:42):
I'd like to also offer a freeShred 10 challenge.
It's just a natural detoxchallenge for anybody who's
interested.
You can just email me at helloat TinaSasocom.
You can also find me and I canconnect you to the free Facebook
private Facebook group calledTina Sossel, love your Health.
(24:03):
And so, yeah, if you can dothat, that would be great.
And then I'm also on Facebookand LinkedIn.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Can you tell us a little bit about the free
resource that you're going to be?
I'll put it in the show notesand anybody can grab it.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Yeah, so Shred 10 is a natural detox challenge.
So it's the 10 is 10 days, butit's also 10 habits that you can
kind of, you know, adhere toguidelines, but loosely, you
know, with grace, however, youknow, wherever you're at, like
drinking more water, gettingseven, at least seven, hours of
(24:35):
sleep, cutting out, you know,sugar, refined sugars and
processed foods, you know.
So there's there's a list of 10things and those, those 10
things, are in that shred 10.
So I actually recorded 12videos and intro, 10 other
videos and a closing, and Idon't have a neat little bow
package with a bow on it yet,but I'm happy to send over an
(24:57):
email to anybody that'sinterested and wants to love it.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
I'm definitely gonna get that.
I'm requesting that.
I'm requesting that right away,so I love that.
I think that's great.
Simple steps for 10 days.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
So I'd love to have you back on when your website
launches, when your health coachtakes off, Because this was
such a positive conversation andI want to have more of those.
So thank you so much for beinghere.
I'd love to have you back andcheck out the show notes and
find Tina on LinkedIn, Facebookand everything that we had just
(25:33):
spoke about.
Thank you so much for beinghere today.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Thank you, jessica, for having me.
I appreciate it for having me,I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Thank you for tuning into the Sober Living Stories
podcast.
If you have been inspired,consider subscribing and sharing
with anyone who could use hopein their lives.
Remember to stay tuned for moreinspiring stories in the
episodes to come.
To view our featured author ofthe month or to become a guest
yourself, visitwwwjessicastepanoviccom.
Growing up in an alcoholic home.
As the oldest child, Tina livedthrough and cleaned up the
aftermath of many late nightparties her parents had.
She learned to ignore theelephant in the room.
As an adult, Tina had severalmoments where alcohol did not
lead to the best decisions andshe always feared crossing the
line into problem drinking oralcoholism itself.
After two years of healing work, she's been a nurse
(00:23):
practitioner and a health andwellness coach all along.
She's now bringing thatdecision she made to be
alcohol-free into her practiceto help others.
Listen in to hear her personalstory what it was like and what
it's like now.
(00:45):
Welcome to the Sober LivingStories podcast.
This podcast is dedicated tosharing stories of sobriety.
We shine a spotlight onindividuals who have faced the
challenges of alcoholism andaddiction and are today living
out their best lives sober.
Each guest has experiencedincredible transformation and
are here to share their storywith you.
(01:06):
I'm Jessica Stepanovic, yourhost.
Join me each week as guestsfrom all walks of life share
their stories to inspire andprovide hope to those who need
it most.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Sober Living Stories podcast
(01:37):
.
Meet Tina Saso, a family nursepractitioner and holistic
wellness health coach.
Today, she's going to share herpersonal story.
We'll discuss her growing up inan alcoholic home to the point
where she made her own decisionto let go of alcohol, and we're
going to hear about the freedomand growth she experienced from
doing that.
Welcome, Welcome, Tina.
(01:58):
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Thank you, Jessica.
I am so grateful to be here.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yeah, I'm excited that you're on to hear the
benefits of what this year haslooked like you being
alcohol-free, but I'm interestedto hear your personal story.
I know a lot of listeners canrelate to growing up in an
alcoholic home and some of thetraits that you took on from
that and how you took it in youradult life to heal from that.
(02:25):
So let's just jump in.
Take us as far back as youwould like to go.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Thank you so much.
So for me, I think, when Ithink about sharing my story
with this, it brings me back towhen I was a little girl who
would go to her bedroom.
So my parents were young andthey were alcoholics.
Two of them are in recovery now.
Um, I have a step dad and momthat are um in uh recovery and a
(02:51):
dad who, you know, drinks, um,but not excessively.
But growing up there was a lotof parties, you know, every
weekend was um alcohol.
There was also drugs involved.
I was the oldest child and so Iwould kind of, you know, see
the paraphernalia, see thedrinks, see the mailbox you know
that was on the ground after aparty night and so just kind of
(03:13):
cleaning up after all that.
But when I was a real littlegirl memories that I don't
remember clearly I remembergoing in my bedroom and just
playing music and just escapingbecause there was fighting.
My dad would get really angryand violent when I was really
little, and this was, I know,under five years old, because my
mom left when, when I was fiveyears old, and so I know there
(03:33):
was physical abuse and there wasyelling and there was lots of,
you know, lots of negativity.
Obviously that came with withthe alcohol, and so I would just
I remember just going to myroom and closing the door and
just drowning it out with music.
I also got into just dancing,you know, when I was little it
was just an outlet for me.
(03:53):
However, I also remember, as Iwas a little bit older about 12
years old, you know, havingyounger siblings I would just
really kind of I learned to makeeverything okay, to fix
everything.
You know, everything wasn'tokay, but I was learning
(04:14):
codependency at an early age andI was, you know, cleaning up
after them.
I was, you know, making surethe kids the younger ones were
okay, sure, the kids, theyounger ones were okay.
So those times when there wasparties like that, I would just
be the one to kind of feel likeit was my responsibility when it
wasn't at 12 years old.
So those are some of the earlymemories I remember.
(04:35):
And then, as I got older,realizing now, after some
healing, that I took that intorelationships.
So I went into choosing men whoI could fix.
Subconsciously I didn't thinkabout it that way, but looking
at it now I realized that's whatI was doing.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Oh, wow, that's interesting.
Yeah, so I hear aboutcodependency time and again when
a guest comes on and I havenever really looked at that in
my own history, but now havebeen since hearing about it.
And then, yeah, that'sinteresting how you took it into
relationships.
So, from your 12 year old self,what did your teenage years
(05:15):
look like?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
So as a teen, I was the one that you know did really
good.
You know, I felt like that Icould control how I did in
school.
I could control how well I didin dance, and so I was.
I would just pour myself intomy studies.
(05:39):
I was really, really hard onmyself.
I still can be, butperfectionism was my drug of
choice at the time, you know, asa teenager.
So I just, yeah, I danced, Icompeted, I did well on school
and in dance.
But looking back, I know nowthat I could control those
things, even though I couldn'tcontrol the environment.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Sure, yeah, I often hear people can either.
You know, regardless of whereyou come from, if you grew up in
an alcoholic home, I know somepeople take the direction of you
know, copying what they've seen, and others take the direction
of not doing anything andavoiding that at all costs.
So it seems like you know.
(06:22):
I never heard anybody speak ofperfectionism as a drug of
choice, but I can completelyunderstand that and I think that
was really well said and itwill resonate with many people.
So, going into after highschool, what did it look like?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
So after high school I was introverted when I was
younger and just kind of focusedon school and dance and
perfecting those things.
And then when I went to college, it's like a switch.
I was extroverted overnight soand I did the things I said I
wasn't going to do as far aspartying and getting drunk, and
(07:02):
every weekend I partied.
Now I it wasn.
Now I wasn't with men or thosekind of things, but I would go
with my girlfriends, I woulddance and I would drink and I
had a card.
I was underage.
They came and they cut the cardso I could go to the bars and I
was going at 19, 18, 19.
I can't remember when I got.
I think I was 19.
(07:22):
So two years before I legallyshould have been, and I was
partying every weekend.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah, and it was like you're probably your first
taste of like freedom from yourhome to being at college.
I know it was for me and kindof a similar.
So throughout college, did itchange?
Did you flip it again back toacademic excellence and all, or
did you follow a different path?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah, I still, I still studied hard.
Looking back, it was, it washarder because I was probably,
just like you know, dehydratedand sleep deprived and all the
things that come with partyinghard, but you know, a little
more resilient, you know thatlong ago.
But I so I still worked hard inmy, my grades.
I think the perfectionism wasalways there.
(08:08):
But I also, you know, lookingback, there was definitely
problem drinking.
You know I drank too much formany years on and off, and I
always feared, as I got older,my twenties, my thirties, even
into my forties, that I alwaysfeared um it being more than
(08:31):
just, you know, occasionallydrinking too much where I didn't
.
Besides, so much alcoholism inmy family, my aunts, uncles, my
parents, I always had that inthe back of my mind, that fear,
that worry about, you know,having an alcoholic you know
(08:53):
Right, sure, absolutely, yeah,they.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
They say it's a family disease and you know that
genetic predisposition is couldbe real and and often is.
So, yeah, I can understand thatfear.
So how did that play out foryou?
Did that cause you to pull back, or no, for many years, did you
?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
continue to have problems with that For many
years, like I was, it was alwayssomething that didn't affect my
work, or you know, you know, I,I became a nurse and then I
became a nurse practitioner andI, you know, and I, you know, it
never affected as far as how Idid professionally.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Your professional life.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yeah, sure, but relationally, looking back, it
did, because I've spent.
I made many choices, partners,you know, different things.
I made many choices thatweren't the best choices for me
and I, looking back the commonthread, until until the last
couple of years, I didn'trealize this, but the common
thread was always alcohol.
(09:50):
So it's what kept me back, it'swhat kept me to make, you know,
making bad choices.
The thread was always justalcohol was the only thing I
could come back to.
That was the common thread.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
So what did?
What does it like Now for you?
You know you gave a goodpicture of where you came from,
but I know that you recentlymade a decision to live alcohol
free.
So how did you come up to thatdecision?
Was there any turning point itwas?
Did anything happen?
Or did you just decide on yourown, like this is something I'm
(10:26):
going to give a try, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
I think that, um, and throughout over the last few
years, I've been thinking aboutit.
A few years ago I was in arelationship that was not
healthy.
It was my, the lastrelationship I was in, and I was
just really reflecting and he,he was hiding drinking, he was,
you know, I'm pretty sure he'san alcoholic.
(10:50):
And I found out, you know, inthat relationship.
I found out, you know, in thatrelationship and during that
time I thought, wow, you knowwhat, about what for me, like,
how is this serving me or notserving me?
But really over the years it'sjust been a cumulative thing.
And then I started, really thelast two years as I was single,
you know, not in relationshipjust really doing a lot of
(11:12):
healing work.
I was doing EMDR, I was goingthrough another recovery program
for healing from narcissisticabuse and I was going just doing
a lot of self love and selfcare and healing.
And in that process I really gotdown to what is serving me in
my life and what is not servingme and the things that were not
(11:35):
serving me I needed.
I was just letting go of one byone, so toxic relationships,
you know, negative self-talk,and then alcohol, I knew was one
of those things.
That was the biggest thingreally that I felt I needed to
let go of for me to be myhealthiest self, and for me, I
(11:55):
have faith too, so it was whatis going to help me live in line
with what God, the best thatGod, has for me.
You know my best, yes, there'sa book, but you know, to live my
best, yes, and to live the bestlife that I have.
I, you know we don't, life isshort and you know what is going
to serve me for the remainderof my time here, you know, and
for me, alcohol just was thatthread that just I felt like I
(12:21):
thought about it so many timesover the years.
I finally got to this pointwhere I just needed to let go of
everything that wasn't servingme.
I also read a book calledEuphoric, and that book really
was.
I read that at a time when Iwas ready to really let go, and
so, yeah, that was June 11thlast year, coming up on a year,
(12:41):
and I've never felt better andI'm so grateful for that
decision.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, isn't that amazing?
Like sometimes books just likejump off the shelf.
They're like you have to readthis and it changes.
It helps change your life, youknow, and I really commend you
for you know, going to therapydoing that work.
I'm not familiar with EMDR, butI do have a friend that does
that type of therapy.
So what is that type of therapy?
(13:07):
Just briefly.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Yeah, so it's just it's eye movement,
desensitization, reprogramming,and that's what it stands for.
And basically, whether it'ssound or you know, you can kind
of follow a finger, you can havethe sound that beats in your
ears back and forth, but thetherapist, the trauma-informed
(13:31):
therapist, brings you back to atime where of trauma or just a
really challenging time in yourpast, and then basically
replaces those memories withempowering, strong, new memories
, and so when you're triggeredor when something comes up in
(13:51):
the going forward, you kind ofhave your reprogrammed, your
brain is rewired in a way sothat when you are exposed to
that trigger or that memory orthat situation or that
environment again, you willrespond differently because you
have, you know, replaced it withnew memories and new thoughts.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Wow, yeah, that's really good, and therapy too.
Thank you for that because Iwas always curious about what
that was.
I had no idea.
So everybody deserves to be ina healthy relationship, you know
.
But oftentimes, you know, wetake things from our childhood
or our past and we just chooseincorrectly for many years, you
know, until we grow an awarenessabout how, to, why we were
(14:34):
doing that and why we chose whowe chose, and make changes, you
know, based on the betterversion of who we're becoming.
And you know cause.
I think everybody deserves to befree from, you know, living out
habits that hinder us and tobecome the best version of
themselves.
You know, and I commend you fortaking those steps to do that
that hinder us and to become thebest version of themselves.
(14:55):
You know, and I commend you fortaking those steps to do that.
I congratulate you on beingalcohol free for as long as you
have been, and it seems likeit's really was a great choice.
And you know, letting go ofthose toxic relationships, um,
identifying what was hinderingyou and then taking this action,
steps to do it you know so sothe book euphoric um I I know
(15:17):
that you had said prompted you.
What were a couple of things inthat book that jumped out at you
.
If somebody wanted to, you know, take it off the shelf and read
it for themselves.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
That's a good question, cause it's been so
long since I read it.
Um so for um.
I think just she gave a lot ofgrace throughout the.
You know I'm big about grace.
Really just giving yourself thegrace and space to just be where
you're at on your journey andnot comparing, and just you know
(15:50):
, doing what's best for you,what serves you best, and so for
me, throughout the book she didtalk about that.
She said, you know, whetherthis is something you decide to
decrease your alcohol or there'ssomething that you decide to
ditch, you know for good.
She kind of allows you to bewhere you're at through the book
.
So I just liked that.
(16:10):
She talked about becomingpresent and really being able to
join the moment, which I havebeen more aware of the last
couple years, of just being inthe moment and enjoying that,
because in the past I've been solooking, you know, thinking
about the past or worrying aboutthe future and just really
being in the moment.
She also talks a lot about likejust letting go of the shame
(16:36):
and, you know, stepping into thebest version of yourself, your
best health.
So yeah, it's just a lot ofwhat she's talked about is
something that kind of I alreadyheard or resonated with or
believed, and but the way sheput it together in this book and
focused on ditching the alcoholwas just the perfect
combination for me and theperfect, perfect time for me to
(16:58):
to read it yeah, I think great,yeah, giving yourself grace and
is so important.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
And also the present tense.
You know, um, with codependency, you know taking care of so
many people, or thinking that wehave to and nobody even asked.
Also, being perfectionist.
Those are a lot of my friendsays tabs that are open in our
brain, right Like we have somany cause we're responsible for
so many things.
(17:25):
And when you learn to not be oras I'm learning not to be,
nobody asked, I'm notresponsible, everybody's
responsible for their own lives,kind of like, closes that up a
little bit and so we are able tofocus better and show up as
better versions of ourselves,and I really agree with that.
(17:45):
So what do you have for yourfuture?
Like, what is your hope foryour newfound sobriety?
Do you want to continue it?
Is it something you're justtaking by the day?
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Yeah, so I love living an alcohol-free life and
I really believe that it's whatI'm going to continue.
At this point I'm coming up ona year but I really feel like at
first I didn't want to say thisis going to be forever.
I liked the idea of thinkinglike you know, yeah, this is
(18:19):
just one day at a time and I'mnot sure if this is three months
or six months or what is thisgoing to be.
But now that I'm coming up on ayear and seeing all the
benefits which I can share in aminute, but like seeing all the
benefits that I've had in mylife, because with letting go of
that, I think it's for me it'sconfirmation that this is the
healthier life for me, that thisis the best version of myself
(18:44):
when I'm not drinking.
And you know, mocktails arereally good.
I've found, you know, there's alot of mocktails out there.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
The world is definitely opening up for people
who are not drinking.
You know, you know 10, 10, 20years ago, like I don't know, I
mean, it was just like drinkyour water and, you know, find
your place.
And now there's non-alcoholicbars and just everything.
And you know, I never went forthat for the first decade.
I just wasn't really interested.
(19:11):
So so I guess I was kind ofscared to to yeah, Cause to me I
didn't want to glamorize itRight.
But other people today they'relike growing up in a new
environment, so and they'refinding that, that they are good
with that.
So it's really an individualchoice.
And also tell us some of thebenefits that you've experienced
(19:33):
this year.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah.
So this past year, you know I Iam a you know, like you
introduced, but a nursepractitioner and health coach.
My desire really is to leavethe clinic full time and to
really have my own business.
And so with that, you know youneed help and you know, with
letting go of alcohol, I reallybelieve that it's helped me just
really go after my dreams.
(19:55):
And so I got a business coach Iworked with for several months.
I'm working a small group withanother coach now I just started
with and really just takingsteps into entrepreneurship,
which I put off for years.
You know, instead of cominghome on a Friday night and
having a glass of wine or two,I'm, like you know, preparing my
(20:16):
for my small group healthcoaching, or I'm, you know,
writing an article for theHelpful Living magazine, or I'm
doing things that are going tohelp move me forward instead of
just numb me.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
And you know, because I quote unquote need to relax,
yeah, yeah.
So you're replacing it withthings that are creative,
professional ground.
You know, you're like settingthe groundwork for your online
business, and that's really,that's really great Cause I
think alcohol can do that.
It can kind of make you standstill.
It's like that old bar stoolmentality or sitting there
saying I'm going to do this oneday and then it just never
(20:53):
happens.
You know, you can, you canwrite the article, but maybe
it's not submitted and and paidfor.
You know.
So I had that experience formany years submitted and paid
for you know so I had thatexperience for many years, so I
can understand that and relate,yeah.
So what else is another benefit?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Have you had any physical benefits from putting
down alcohol?
Yes, so brain fog, my gosh, theclarity.
Just less brain fog, moremental clarity and confidence.
You know alcohol is adepressant and it really can
fuel.
Even though I've never beenclinically depressed, I know
that looking back, I mean evenjust over, just over a year ago.
(21:34):
You know, coming home, like Isaid Friday night, I'm not not
in relationship alone havingwine.
I mean I was, I'd be crying, soI was very emotional.
So I'm less emotional.
I'm have more clarity, lessbrain fog, more confidence, more
energy.
I mean to work out to, to take,you know, to walk I walk almost
daily and to just stayphysically active.
(21:56):
I'm also not as dehydratedbecause alcohol is dehydrating.
So there's so many benefitsphysically but energy,
confidence, decreased brain fogand then just less anxiety and
depression.
I mean mental health can reallytake a toll.
Alcohol can take a toll onmental health.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Yeah, yes, I agree with that.
I think a lot of times we wellfor myself, I thought it was
helping me for so long.
It's like, well, I can't putthis down.
I mean, a lot of times we wellfor myself, I thought it was
helping me for so long.
It's like, well, I can't putthis down.
I mean, this is the only thingI have while I'm so depressed or
I have so much anxiety, notknowing that it was actually
making it worse, and so, when weput it down, the increased
confidence it's scary, of course, to put a habit down that's
(22:40):
been helped.
You seemingly think it's beenhelping you for so many years,
but, you know, in order to moveforward, I think we have to do
things that are uncomfortableand things that we're fearful of
, and the benefits are so big,you know, and brings you back to
a life of meaning.
You know productivity, so, andI think that you definitely said
(23:03):
that you're experiencing all ofthat I'm so grateful that you
came on and you shared yourstory.
I think it was so impactful andit's going to touch so many
listeners.
So can you tell us what you'regoing to be doing in the future,
where people can connect withyou during the week and what you
have coming up.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Yeah, so right now I've actually been blessed with
an opportunity to work withwomen in recovery and I'm doing
a small group health coachingprogram and I'm really enjoying
it.
Where you can find me is rightnow I'm working still on the
website, so you can find meright now on my email address,
which is hello at TinaSasocom.
(23:42):
I'd like to also offer a freeShred 10 challenge.
It's just a natural detoxchallenge for anybody who's
interested.
You can just email me at helloat TinaSasocom.
You can also find me and I canconnect you to the free Facebook
private Facebook group calledTina Sossel, love your Health.
(24:03):
And so, yeah, if you can dothat, that would be great.
And then I'm also on Facebookand LinkedIn.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Can you tell us a little bit about the free
resource that you're going to be?
I'll put it in the show notesand anybody can grab it.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Yeah, so Shred 10 is a natural detox challenge.
So it's the 10 is 10 days, butit's also 10 habits that you can
kind of, you know, adhere toguidelines, but loosely, you
know, with grace, however, youknow, wherever you're at, like
drinking more water, gettingseven, at least seven, hours of
(24:35):
sleep, cutting out, you know,sugar, refined sugars and
processed foods, you know.
So there's there's a list of 10things and those, those 10
things, are in that shred 10.
So I actually recorded 12videos and intro, 10 other
videos and a closing, and Idon't have a neat little bow
package with a bow on it yet,but I'm happy to send over an
(24:57):
email to anybody that'sinterested and wants to love it.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
I'm definitely gonna get that.
I'm requesting that.
I'm requesting that right away,so I love that.
I think that's great.
Simple steps for 10 days.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
So I'd love to have you back on when your website
launches, when your health coachtakes off, Because this was
such a positive conversation andI want to have more of those.
So thank you so much for beinghere.
I'd love to have you back andcheck out the show notes and
find Tina on LinkedIn, Facebookand everything that we had just
(25:33):
spoke about.
Thank you so much for beinghere today.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Thank you, jessica, for having me.
I appreciate it for having me,I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Thank you for tuning into the Sober Living Stories
podcast.
If you have been inspired,consider subscribing and sharing
with anyone who could use hopein their lives.
Remember to stay tuned for moreinspiring stories in the
episodes to come.
To view our featured author ofthe month or to become a guest
yourself, visitwwwjessicastepanoviccom.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!