July 23, 2024 • 38 mins
Meet Leigh of @macrosnmocktails, a first-class female on a mission to normalize sobriety by bravely sharing her life as a sober mom one post at a time.
Join host Jessica Stipanovic as she sits down with Leigh to listen to her sobriety story and wildfire connection with a community that helps her remain accountable and inspires others to believe in the promise of sobriety. From her father's sudden passing to her decision in 2017 to pursue an alcohol-free life, Leigh discussed using alcohol as a coping mechanism for her grief, the red flags she ignored, and the moment she knew a change was necessary.
Leigh launched @macrosnmocktails in June 2023 and her desire to be alcohol-free turned into a passion to normalize sobriety by helping followers believe in the possibility of a sober life. She vulnerably shares her past struggles and newfound solutions about alcoholism with heartfelt compassion and a touch of humor. Leigh became sober curious in 2017, and it took her 6 years for sobriety to finally stick. She claims she didn't have a rock bottom, but plenty of rocky moments that served as red flags that led her to the belief that drinking was no longer an option. Her transparent storytelling on social media has helped her shed shame and has encouraged others to begin their sobriety journeys.
Finally, we challenge the stigma surrounding sobriety, highlighting the misconception that alcohol addiction is a personal failing. Leigh’s mantra, "drinking is not an option," resonates throughout our conversation, illustrating the profound impact of her commitment to an alcohol-free life. We discuss how sobriety has enriched her parenting, enhanced self-trust, and improved family dynamics, all while providing a blueprint for others to follow.
Tune in to be inspired by Leigh’s story and discover the power and promise of living an alcohol-free life.
To connect with Leigh during the week: Leigh | Alcohol-Free Living | Sober Mom (@macrosnmocktails) • Instagram photos and videos
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today, I have the great pleasure to sit down with
a woman who has a passion tonormalize sobriety and help
people believe in thepossibility of a sober life.
Meet Leigh from the Instagramaccount Macros and Mocktails, an
account that was launched inJune of 2023.
Leigh started to vulnerablyshare about her struggle with
alcohol, empathetically and withhumor.
(00:20):
Today, almost a year later, shehas over 33,000 followers who
sign in on a daily basis to getinsights on how to live sober.
Lee became sober curious in2017, and it took her six years
and hundreds of day ones forsobriety to finally stick.
She claimed she didn't have arock bottom, but plenty of rocky
(00:42):
moments that served as redflags.
Her motto is drinking is not anoption.
Lee spent her professionalcareer in public relations and
currently manages social mediafor three women own wellness
brands.
She resides in Portland, oregon, with her husband and three
teenage sons.
Lean in today to hear how shebegan her journey publicly for
(01:04):
year one in sobriety and how ittook hold and kept her
accountable as she learned howto walk her new way.
Welcome to the Sober LivingStories podcast.
This podcast is dedicated tosharing stories of sobriety.
We shine a spotlight onindividuals who have faced the
(01:27):
challenges of alcoholism andaddiction and are today living
out their best lives sober.
Each guest has experiencedincredible transformation and
are here to share their storywith you.
I'm Jessica Stepanovic, yourhost.
Join me each week as guestsfrom all walks of life share
their stories to inspire andprovide hope to those who need
(01:49):
it most.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Good morning, I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Your passion for normalizing sobriety and an
alcohol-free lifestyle is to becommended.
It's something that I don'tthink anyone should be ashamed
of, but so often are, and you'rehelping to kind of break that
stereotype.
So I'm happy to have you heretoday If you wouldn't mind just
sharing your personal story asfar back as you'd like to go,
(02:31):
just taking us up to the presentday.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Yeah, sure, thank you , and I appreciate your comment
on the vulnerability piece of mycontent, because in the
beginning I played it safe,played it safer and it was
reaching people, but not to thelevel of really sharing my
personal stories did, because Ithink we all need to see
(02:55):
ourselves in someone else'sstory, we need to feel less
alone on this journey, we needto relate to other people, we
need to know we're not the onlyone, and so that's really what
sparked the vulnerable sharingand, as I told you before, you
know we hit record.
I think the more that I share,really, the more shame I release
(03:19):
around this whole journey.
So it helps me to help otherpeople.
You know people say thank you,you know you've been such a help
and it's like, well, what I,what I'm giving, I get back, you
know, tenfold.
So it's, it's really, it'sreally amazing this whole
(03:40):
journey and, like you said, thisis, I'm relatively new to being
sober, you know, still, I thinkyou know, the first year is
still new sobriety.
I consider myself newly sober,but it's really been a journey
that started back in 2017.
My dad passed in 2014.
(04:01):
I was with him when he passedaway.
It was very unexpected and Ithink there was a noticeable
shift at that point in mydrinking and I would say I drank
normally if there is such athing as normal drinking,
drinking really up until thatpoint I would have a bottle of
(04:25):
wine over the course of threenights, you know, one large
glass.
Um, for the most part,especially when my kids were
younger sometimes, you know notI wouldn't drink at all because
I had three kids, three andunder, and that lifestyle
doesn't lend to drinking.
(04:46):
Really, it wasn't until theywere toddlers and moving around
a bit and on a more consistentsleep schedule, and then my dad
passed away and I think it wasjust a perfect storm of I was
drinking to cope with grief.
And so in 2017, there were afew moments where I had blacked
(05:11):
out.
I had said things to my kidsthat I shouldn't have said.
They remembered.
The next day, you know, myoldest son told me I was drunk,
and so you know things you don'twant to hear from your kids,
right?
And so in 2017, that's when I'mlike I I found the book by
(05:33):
Sarah Heppler called Blackout.
I don't know, I don't know how Istumbled across it.
Amazing read, didn't want to bedone with it.
I remember I was reading itover Labor Day weekend poolside
and on the way home.
We were on a trip and on theway home from that trip, I told
my whole family.
I said I'm going to take I toldthem I was going to take a 50
(05:53):
day break from alcohol.
You know that this wasnegatively impacting my life,
negatively impacting our lives.
I recognized it, I was going totake a break and but in my head
I was I committed to a hundreddays.
That's what I told myself.
I'm like I'm telling my familyI'm going to do 50 days, I'm
really going to do a hundreddays.
(06:14):
And I went.
I think I went 75 days.
Um, and this was after I hadtaken several 30 day breaks.
I did my dad passed away in Mayof 2014.
I did a whole 30 in July of2014, because even then, it's
like I'm drinking too much, I'meating too much, I'm I'm not
(06:39):
coping with grief in a waythat's healthy.
Um, and so I'd done severalwhole 30.
So I had these 30-day breaks,but that was like a longer,
75-day break in 2017.
And then I went back thinking Idon't know exactly what I
thought.
(06:59):
I thought that I might behealed.
I thought that I might be ableto control it.
And every time I went back toalcohol, it always, it always
ended up the same, becausealcohol doesn't change.
Sure, my relationship withalcohol never got better than it
was the moment I recognized itwas no longer serving me.
(07:20):
It only got worse.
But, god did I try to hang onto alcohol and keep it in my
life, and I'm trying to rememberthe timeline of my significant
breaks.
I think anything over threemonths to me is a significant
break.
So in 2020, that was when wewere all home and in lockdown
(07:46):
and I live in Oregon and we wereespecially locked down compared
to the rest of the country andI started buying wine by the box
and we have a refrigerator inour garage and I would keep my
boxed wine down there and itstarted out at five o'clock.
(08:07):
I'd go down and fill my glassand it was getting earlier and
earlier the longer we were inlockdown, to the point that it
was two o'clock and I was goingdown there and just huge pours,
huge pours.
I thought that a box was threebottles, I think it was four
Something.
I had it off by a bottle andI'm like, holy shit, I'm
(08:29):
drinking a lot of wine right nowand that's when I decided to do
the path through this nakedmind.
And I was really familiar withthis naked mind, annie Grace.
She's really a thought leaderin this space.
She wrote Control Alcohol.
I read that book two times.
(08:50):
I listened to it on audiobook.
She has a podcast she does.
She has a free alcoholexperiment.
I did the live alcoholexperiment twice in January,
which is like a 30 day.
There's daily coaching, all ofthat.
(09:10):
So I decided I was going to payand do this year long program
through this naked mind and Imet some amazing people.
We're still friends today.
We're still on a text string.
I stuck with that program forfour months.
I didn't drink.
I thought I was healed, thoughtI was, you know, totally done
(09:34):
with alcohol.
And then, whenever thingsstarted opening up and we made
our re-entry to society, I justwasn't prepared for that, to be
around people, for thesocialization.
It was easy to do at home withmy family, but once we started
(09:56):
going out and social gatheringsand part of it was really
celebratory too I mean, there'salways an excuse to drink, but
really a celebration.
Things are opening back up.
Oh, we're not going to have towear masks the rest of our lives
, all those things.
That's when you know, I starteddrinking again.
(10:17):
And I think, once you know, oncethere's that awareness there,
awareness there that that you,there's an issue with alcohol,
you really, I really could neverdrink with just disregard and
abandonment.
It was always in the back of mymind how much am I going to
drink?
How am I going to not get drunk?
(10:39):
You know, am I?
Am I going to drink tonight?
How much is I am I going todrink?
I wrote about this Do I haveenough alcohol?
Do I have too much alcohol?
Those thoughts just consumed me.
I didn't want to get drunk infront of my kids, but I didn't
want to give up alcohol.
And it was just such, um, I wasjust in such war within myself.
(11:04):
It was just such, I was just insuch war within myself.
And so then, that was in 2020,started drinking again in
January 2021.
Had some more breaks in between.
In September of 2022, I joinedthe path again.
The path had evolved from ayear-long program to a 90-day
(11:26):
program.
That's where I met Shannon atMommy Does Not Need Wine, who's
been really pivotal in myjourney.
Her friendship has meant theworld to me and we've stayed in
communication and I say shegraduated and stayed sober.
I dropped out.
I didn't drop out, I finishedthe program but I started
drinking again.
I mean, I didn't drop out, Ifinished the program but I
started drinking again, like Imean, this is just ridiculous,
(11:48):
right it's so crazy to hear metell this story of how many
starts and stops there were.
If I heard somebody else sayingwhat I'm saying, you're like God
.
How could you not figure thatout?
How could you not figure out itwas never going to.
You know, relationship withalcohol was never going to
(12:09):
change.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
So what brought you to the actual stop?
How do you?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
know you don't do it anymore.
I was so sick and tired ofbeing sick and tired I realized
it was.
It was never going to getbetter, it was only going to get
worse.
And the more I tried to controlit, the more alcohol controlled
me, because it was all in myhead.
You know, I was thinking aboutit nonstop.
If I wasn't thinking about whenI was going to drinking drink,
(12:38):
I was thinking about when I wasgoing to quit drinking and stop
drinking and yeah, so let's,let's, let's just pause for a
second.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
There's so much, so much good that you said why do
we go to it in the first place?
You know everybody's different,but coping is such a bit.
You know, you used it to copewith grief or to cope with.
You know people use it forsocial anxiety or depression, or
not only thinking that it's thesolution, when in fact it
becomes the problem, and justhow the mental exhaustion of
(13:10):
trying to figure that out andcontrol it and enjoy it at the
same time, which is literallyimpossible.
And then what that brings us toand I hope you speak to this
later on is to the absolutefreedom when we decide to put it
down for good.
And so you really articulatedthat really well.
So, like 21.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Yeah, so in the three month program in 2022, I was
following Shannon because sheand I were friends and she had
this sober Instagram account andI was really appalled by some
of the things she shared, likeher, her, you know.
Going back to her vulnerabilityand what she shared.
And I remember reaching out toher and I asked you know, do
(13:56):
your real life friends followyou?
Do you know?
Do they know?
Do they see what you're posting?
And she was just like I don't,they might, or they might not,
they don't say a whole lot, butshe's like I don't really care,
like it's not about them.
You know, this was about herand her journey and her
relationship with her family andher daughters and all of that,
(14:19):
and I really admired that and Ireally related to her story
through her posts and she wasreally instrumental in helping
me believe that, in thepossibility of a sober life, and
I think that I want everybodyto believe in the possibility of
a sober life and that a soberlife is better than struggling
(14:44):
every day and trying to makealcohol fit into your life.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yeah, and so in 2023, .
Speaker 2 (14:55):
I found a faster way, which is this at home workout,
fat loss, nutrition, blah, blah,blah.
And and it's really what Ineeded my perimenopausal body at
the time needed and love theseworkouts.
I got laid off in June of lastyear I think I found out in May
(15:21):
of my communications job that Ihad had for eight years and I
loved and I was trying to findout, figure out what next steps
were.
Love this program, gotcertified as a fat loss and
nutrition coach.
Through this program, it wasalways in the back of my head I
have to get sober, I have toquit drinking, and this was
really the first program I'vedone.
(15:42):
That discourages alcohol.
Okay, it says like alcoholshould really not be a part of
your health journey, you know,but if you drink, here's how you
count macros.
But it's a piece of it likeeducation around alcohol and why
it's not good, especially formidlife fat loss efforts, and so
(16:03):
that resonated with me.
So I decided I was going to becertified to be a fat loss,
weight loss, nutrition coach formidlife sober and sober curious
women.
That was going to be my niche,cause they say you know, you
need a niche.
There's all these coaches outthere and you know a dime, a
dozen.
Some are really really great,don't get me wrong, but it's,
(16:24):
there's a lot of us out there.
And so what's your niche?
And so I'm like my niche isgoing to be sober and sober,
curious women.
So I called Shannon.
This is what I'm thinking.
What do you think?
You know she's like go for it.
Yeah, absolutely, I love it.
I'll support you however I can.
And so I'm like I'm going tostart an Instagram account.
(16:50):
I started this Instagram accountlike the name of it, the whole
platform I was following peoplebefore I was even sober, and I
started it a week into mysobriety and what I found was
the sober content was resonatingwith people.
I was having trouble withworking out and doing video
(17:10):
workouts and all of that withworking out and doing video
workouts and all of that.
And so I stuck with the sobercontent.
And here I am, almost a yearlater.
It's like I put it out therelike I believed it before I
actually believed it, and itprovided a layer of
accountability that I can't letthese people down.
(17:34):
You know they're going to besober, they're relying on my
content, but it really has been.
It's helped me way more thanit's helped other people, I
think, and now I'm the one thatshares all the people are so
kind when I'm like, oh, thank mycringy content.
They're like it's not cringy,it's helpful.
But I do put a lot ofvulnerable details out there.
(17:58):
And now I'm doing it, and it'sbeen so freeing in so many ways,
not only sharing my story butgiving up alcohol and it's just.
I can't believe how much mylife has changed in less than a
year.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
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(18:36):
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(18:59):
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Now back to our guest.
Perfectly said you know thefreedom, the freeing part.
(19:21):
You know it's like when you putsomething out there and people
don't run away but they runtoward you.
It gives you like evidence thathey, this is okay.
So I think that's one of thehardest things for people I know
it is for me to openly speakabout your life and the hard
(19:42):
parts, the parts that you havebehind closed doors, and you
know that's the.
That's the part that people wantto hear, because that's the
part that we need to all feellike, wow, we're all just human.
Like, since I launched thispodcast, like I can't walk into,
there's no room I'll walk intowhere I know that every single
(20:03):
person in that room has hadsomething significant happen in
their life that has beenextremely difficult.
I just can look at people morelike they're.
They're human, like everybodyis, and with alcohol, there's
such a stigma around it.
Can you speak to that a littlebit on?
Like diminishing the stigma?
Cause you talk aboutnormalizing sobriety, right,
(20:26):
right, I mean, it's common.
I think it's way more commonthan we think.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
For sure, for sure.
I think it's important to knowthat everyone is struggling with
something and just becausealcohol isn't their thing
doesn't mean they don't have athing.
We all have things.
So knowing that in general ishelpful to me in sharing my
(20:55):
story, because even if peopleare judgmental and of course for
every hundred nice comments Iget I might get one rude comment
, maybe not even that many, butI go back to my only response to
them is I'm glad alcohol isn'tyour thing, but I guarantee you
have a thing, have a nice day,because we're all battling
(21:19):
something.
Sure, and society makes us feellike if we struggle with alcohol
that's our fault, when in truth, alcohol is an addictive
substance, our struggling withalcohol is not our fault.
When in truth, alcohol is anaddictive substance, our
struggling with alcohol is notour fault, but it is our
responsibility.
(21:39):
And I think, just knowing thatand knowing how many women come
into my DMs with so much shameand so much guilt and telling me
they're the worst mother andtelling me I had someone
yesterday who I did a postaround midlife women and
(22:04):
drinking and feeling alone andstruggling with alcohol and she
came into my DMs and said thatshe was commenting there because
she said I don't want people toknow I'm sober curious, as if
that was embarrassing in someregard.
And I just, you know, I toldher there's no shame in being
sober, curious, we're.
(22:25):
Alcohol is garbage, it'sdestructive to our health and
our well-being and our mentaland emotional wellness, and
there's just no shame inchoosing not to drink alcohol.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Yeah, yeah, and it's incredible how there is so much
shame, but there shouldn't be.
So I think what you're doing isbreaking that in a way.
Um, you know, but breaking freeof that.
Not just you, but you'rehelping others do that too,
because you're like.
They're like, wow, look whatshe's saying out loud.
(23:05):
So how did your account takeoff?
Like, when did you know that?
Wow, this is really somethingthat's resonating with women all
around the world and I'm goingto continue doing it because
it's not only helping them, butit's helping me.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I think I had thought in my mind if I was able to
help one person, convince oneperson that sobriety was a
better and easier way of life,it would be worth it.
And it's been a lot more thanone person.
And it's the comments that Iget on a daily basis and that's
(23:45):
really why I keep going and keepsharing, because it's a lot of
work.
I don't get paid for it.
There's no glory in having anInstagram account and I don't
want, I'm not looking tomonetize it, because people just
need a free resource.
They need to.
You know, they just, they justneed relatability, they need
(24:07):
support.
And you know my husband's likewhat are you, what are you doing
with this account?
I'm like I don't know, I don'tknow, I don't Um, but you know I
tell him.
I'm like this is like mytherapy.
This is my accountability.
I feel like it's a ministry atthis point and you know I told
you prior to this conversationthat I really felt called to do
(24:29):
this and and I've never feltcalled to do anything, it was,
it was through the faster way,like be a faster way coach.
You know, target, target, soberand sober, curious women like,
specifically because, um, I, I,you know there's a whole nother
conversation around midlifeweight gain and health and all
(24:52):
of that and how detrimentalalcohol is.
So it just seemed to go hand inhand.
And then I was like, oh my gosh, it's kind of like the bait and
hook, like talk about yourfaster.
It's like all I do is talkabout my sober piece.
Like I said I just it just feelslike like a ministry and but I
(25:18):
get so much back to and you know, there's a handful of people
who women, who didn't think theycould ever get sober that I'm
still I'm in regular contactwith and I it.
It just brings me such joy andmy, my motto is drinking is not
an option.
Anytime somebody DMs me andsays that you know I just keep
(25:40):
replaying drinking is not anoption.
Over and over in my head oryour words resonated with me or
I remember drinking is not anoption.
It's like I I'm making a smalldifference.
If I have any any impact insomeone's decision to consider a
sober life, then this is allworth it.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
So I think, yeah, that's great and I agree with
you, I think you're doing anincredible service, almost, but
it's also like what you had said.
It's it, it's helping you, it'slike almost like therapy.
It's like, yeah, you know, sowhat would you?
I think one of the things thatcaught me, um, like drew me to
your account, was I was like,wow, she's speaking to moms, you
(26:25):
know, and it's like I think of,I think that is in itself of
like moms, of elementary kids.
It's a busy season and you knowthey talk about mommy, wine,
culture and all this otherthings that I didn't really
experience but I've heard about.
And that really drew me becauseI thought, wow, you know, once
(26:47):
again she's putting the shameout of that, she's just stepping
out into that.
So, what would you talk about?
How your home has changed sinceyou decided to do this and to
be alcohol free?
How has that affected yourfamily and you as a mom, or your
functioning, or you as a memberof the community or whatever?
(27:07):
What are the benefits thatyou've experienced by choosing
this lifestyle?
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I think there was a significant chunk of time in
which my kids didn't trust mebecause they didn't know which
version of me was going to showup.
And my oldest son at one timehad said you're a really good
mom in the day, just not atnight.
And I mean, I will never forgetthat.
(27:32):
I will never forget those words.
Those words alone should havecaused me to stop drinking then
in that moment, but they didn't.
I kept thinking I could controlit, that I wouldn't get drunk
in front of him anymore, and soI think letting go of alcohol
(27:57):
enabled me to have self-trust,to trust myself.
I don't know on this journeythat I've ever been this
confident and I'm not going todrink regardless of what comes
my way.
Drinking is not an option.
And then in turn, my boys trustme, and when I have these
(28:23):
conversations, these hardconversations around their
recreational use of drugs and Isay drugs in general and I
include alcohol in that, becausealcohol is definitely a drug
then it comes with a lot moreweight when I'm not drinking
than if I were drinking, andI've talked very openly about my
(28:48):
struggle with alcohol.
I talk about us havingaddictive tendencies because
this is a generation, this hasbeen passed down generationally.
I talk about drugs, theirimpact on mental health and, and
(29:09):
it's made everything easier inso many ways.
I feel better, I'm more present, I'm a better mom.
I took my twins to a quinceaneraparty on Saturday night and it
was the first time that I saidI'm going to go to the bar and
(29:30):
get a drink, I'll be back.
And that was the first timethey didn't ask are'm going to
go to the bar and get a drink,I'll be back.
And that was the first timethey didn't ask are you going to
get alcohol?
Because they know I'm not atthis point, but I think it's
taken this long because I'vedone, because of all the other
stints I had done like longerstints.
I think they weren't sure like,is it going to stick this time?
Is it not going to even at?
(29:54):
I think I was almost eightmonths sober and I was.
I was hosting oh, I think I washosting bunco something and I
was serving wine and I wasgetting out the wine we have.
We have this wine cellar.
People like why don't you justget rid of it?
I'm like, I know I I to myhusband has since boxed it all
(30:14):
up and now it's sitting in ourliving room and I need to figure
out what I'm going to do withall of this wine, um, but you
know, I was.
I was getting all this stuffready and my son was like are
people going to be partyingtonight?
I'm like, well, some, probably.
And then he's like are yougoing to be partying tonight?
You know, I'm like, no, youknow, not today, not today, um,
(30:41):
but that was even eight months,so it's it's.
I think finally now they knowlike I'm serious about this.
They know all about myInstagram account.
My 17 year old is just.
You know, loves like.
How many followers do you have?
You know he designs clothes.
He's like do you want me to?
create some merch like, oh mygod, killing me.
Yeah, I know it's so funny,they're so funny, um, but it's
(31:03):
made everything easier andbetter and brighter.
And I don't wake up every dayjust laden with shame, guilt and
wondering if you know, it wasalways.
I'm not going to drink tonight.
I'm today's the day I'm notgoing to drink tonight.
And then I listened to theRachel Hart podcast on the way
(31:27):
home from dropping my kids offfrom school and then by two
o'clock, I was rationalizing aglass of wine.
Just tonight, it's tonight,I'll start tomorrow.
By five o'clock, I was openinga bottle every single day.
It just, it never changed.
It was the same thing day in,day out.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Yeah, you said something really important.
It's like when you believed inyourself, um, everyone, everyone
else started to as well, and Ithink that's so true.
I think, when people respecttheir choices, their sobriety,
there's a certain if I, if Irespect mine, everyone else is
going to too, Um, and also, youknow, there's that saying, the
(32:09):
ones closest to us are the lastones to see us change, or right.
So, and I think that's true,you know, if you, if you look at
family because I guess theyhave the closest eye as to when
we were, you know, like I thinkof my mom or dad, um, you know,
it was just like a convincing,like, no, listen, this is really
(32:32):
, it's really okay.
And then, once I truly, trulybelieve that was in my own heart
I knew I didn't have to saythat to them any longer, you
know, and that was a turningpoint, you know, because it
meant that I took hold of it.
I wasn't doing it for anythingor anybody else, but I was doing
it because I knew I wascompletely done.
So, yeah, that's reallyimportant and powerful, and I
(32:55):
love that the, your children,know about your account and you
know, cause this is like it'sthe way of the future Right and
so and their involvement andtheir excitement for it, you
know, is really great.
It's like you, you know it's asupport.
And your friends that you metalong the way, who you who have
been a support to you, you knowit's a support.
And your friends that you metalong the way, who you who have
been a support to you, you know,just as you're supporting those
(33:16):
women in your DMs that come inprivately or otherwise, you know
, to share their hearts andabout their struggles or their
questions.
So that's very powerful, Thankyou.
So what else?
What do you see in your futurewith this?
Thank you.
So what else?
What do you see in your futurewith this With?
Well, I know your alcohol freejourney is you're steadfast,
(33:38):
your your line.
Drinking is not an option.
It's so important to have thoseone liners that somebody can
just grab and mean.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Yeah, I think I would love to write a book.
At some point I joked in my Iwas in one of the captions that
my book is going to be calledDrinking is Not an Option.
I don't know what it's going tobe called.
You know I was a writer, for Idid spend my professional career
in public relations and so Iwrote.
(34:08):
All the time I've written, fromthe time I, you know, as early
as I can remember, I wrote formy high school newspaper, my
college newspaper, my entireprofessional career, and so this
is really my account's, reallyan extension of that.
I get to tell, I get to writeand I get to tell stories, and I
think that is another part ofthe relatability is I'm a
(34:30):
storyteller, so it it that comesnaturally for me.
And so I don't know what my bookwould be about, but it's.
It's a way for when myhusband's like what are you
going to do with this?
(34:51):
Come on, the growth has beenincredible.
Having said that, I want to beable to give everyone who
reaches out proper time andattention.
Sure, to manage that in a waythat I can be present for my
(35:18):
family and still minister tothese people who who reach out
to me.
But I don't know.
I don't know what it looks like.
My husband and I talk about ita lot.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Yeah, so if anyone's listening right now and they are
struggling, what would be likethree things that you would tell
them.
That is important as far asstepping into this lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
There's a hundred things that are important.
It's going to be hard to narrowit down to three.
I think that it's not going tobe easy, but it's going to be
worth it.
We want instant gratificationand we live in a society where
that's largely possible in manyaspects of our lives.
(36:06):
I was going to my eventSaturday night.
I needed mascara and I neededsome tape things to help keep my
dress up.
So I went to Amazon and it wasdelivered between 2 and 5 pm
that day.
That's the society we live in,and so we want things to be
immediately better, immediatelyfixed.
And this is a journey, this isa process.
(36:30):
There's going to be a lot ofups and downs, so just know it's
not easy but it's worth it.
And I would say a slip isn'tfailure, it's part of the
process.
And if anyone is a testament tothat, it's me, because of all
(36:54):
the times I slipped and fell andthought I was failing.
And it wasn't failing, it wasactually part of the work.
You don't fail unless you quittrying.
And I say sobriety isn't, itdoesn't have to be all or
nothing in the beginning asyou're figuring things out,
because every day we choose notto drink, our bodies rejoice and
(37:17):
, lastly, I would say, wheneveryou're ready to be done, decide.
Drinking is not an option andyou can do anything but drink.
You can eat a cake, you can goto bed at eight o'clock, you can
take a bath at two in theafternoon, you can go for a walk
.
You can go to a movie byyourself, you can go to the park
with your kids.
You can take a bath at two inthe afternoon, you can go for a
walk.
You can go to a movie byyourself.
You can go to the park withyour kids.
You can take your dog to thedog park.
(37:38):
Anything that gets you out ofthat feeling like you need a
drink, anything but drink.
So, regardless of what comesyour way, drinking is not an
option.
So how are you going to dealwith it?
How are you going to cope?
It's not with alcohol.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Love it All good, all good answers, absolutely
helpful.
Thank you, yeah, so where can?
So where can people find youduring the week?
Speaker 2 (38:10):
The only place I am is on Instagram at macros in
mocktails, so macros letter inmocktails.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Thank you for tuning into the sober living stories
podcast.
If you have been inspired,consider subscribing and sharing
with anyone who could use hopein their lives.
Remember to stay tuned for moreinspiring stories in the
episodes to come.
To view our featured author ofthe month or to become a guest
yourself, visitwwwjessicastepanoviccom.
Today, I have the great pleasure to sit down with
a woman who has a passion tonormalize sobriety and help
people believe in thepossibility of a sober life.
Meet Leigh from the Instagramaccount Macros and Mocktails, an
account that was launched inJune of 2023.
Leigh started to vulnerablyshare about her struggle with
alcohol, empathetically and withhumor.
(00:20):
Today, almost a year later, shehas over 33,000 followers who
sign in on a daily basis to getinsights on how to live sober.
Lee became sober curious in2017, and it took her six years
and hundreds of day ones forsobriety to finally stick.
She claimed she didn't have arock bottom, but plenty of rocky
(00:42):
moments that served as redflags.
Her motto is drinking is not anoption.
Lee spent her professionalcareer in public relations and
currently manages social mediafor three women own wellness
brands.
She resides in Portland, oregon, with her husband and three
teenage sons.
Lean in today to hear how shebegan her journey publicly for
(01:04):
year one in sobriety and how ittook hold and kept her
accountable as she learned howto walk her new way.
Welcome to the Sober LivingStories podcast.
This podcast is dedicated tosharing stories of sobriety.
We shine a spotlight onindividuals who have faced the
(01:27):
challenges of alcoholism andaddiction and are today living
out their best lives sober.
Each guest has experiencedincredible transformation and
are here to share their storywith you.
I'm Jessica Stepanovic, yourhost.
Join me each week as guestsfrom all walks of life share
their stories to inspire andprovide hope to those who need
(01:49):
it most.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Good morning, I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Your passion for normalizing sobriety and an
alcohol-free lifestyle is to becommended.
It's something that I don'tthink anyone should be ashamed
of, but so often are, and you'rehelping to kind of break that
stereotype.
So I'm happy to have you heretoday If you wouldn't mind just
sharing your personal story asfar back as you'd like to go,
(02:31):
just taking us up to the presentday.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Yeah, sure, thank you , and I appreciate your comment
on the vulnerability piece of mycontent, because in the
beginning I played it safe,played it safer and it was
reaching people, but not to thelevel of really sharing my
personal stories did, because Ithink we all need to see
(02:55):
ourselves in someone else'sstory, we need to feel less
alone on this journey, we needto relate to other people, we
need to know we're not the onlyone, and so that's really what
sparked the vulnerable sharingand, as I told you before, you
know we hit record.
I think the more that I share,really, the more shame I release
(03:19):
around this whole journey.
So it helps me to help otherpeople.
You know people say thank you,you know you've been such a help
and it's like, well, what I,what I'm giving, I get back, you
know, tenfold.
So it's, it's really, it'sreally amazing this whole
(03:40):
journey and, like you said, thisis, I'm relatively new to being
sober, you know, still, I thinkyou know, the first year is
still new sobriety.
I consider myself newly sober,but it's really been a journey
that started back in 2017.
My dad passed in 2014.
(04:01):
I was with him when he passedaway.
It was very unexpected and Ithink there was a noticeable
shift at that point in mydrinking and I would say I drank
normally if there is such athing as normal drinking,
drinking really up until thatpoint I would have a bottle of
(04:25):
wine over the course of threenights, you know, one large
glass.
Um, for the most part,especially when my kids were
younger sometimes, you know notI wouldn't drink at all because
I had three kids, three andunder, and that lifestyle
doesn't lend to drinking.
(04:46):
Really, it wasn't until theywere toddlers and moving around
a bit and on a more consistentsleep schedule, and then my dad
passed away and I think it wasjust a perfect storm of I was
drinking to cope with grief.
And so in 2017, there were afew moments where I had blacked
(05:11):
out.
I had said things to my kidsthat I shouldn't have said.
They remembered.
The next day, you know, myoldest son told me I was drunk,
and so you know things you don'twant to hear from your kids,
right?
And so in 2017, that's when I'mlike I I found the book by
(05:33):
Sarah Heppler called Blackout.
I don't know, I don't know how Istumbled across it.
Amazing read, didn't want to bedone with it.
I remember I was reading itover Labor Day weekend poolside
and on the way home.
We were on a trip and on theway home from that trip, I told
my whole family.
I said I'm going to take I toldthem I was going to take a 50
(05:53):
day break from alcohol.
You know that this wasnegatively impacting my life,
negatively impacting our lives.
I recognized it, I was going totake a break and but in my head
I was I committed to a hundreddays.
That's what I told myself.
I'm like I'm telling my familyI'm going to do 50 days, I'm
really going to do a hundreddays.
(06:14):
And I went.
I think I went 75 days.
Um, and this was after I hadtaken several 30 day breaks.
I did my dad passed away in Mayof 2014.
I did a whole 30 in July of2014, because even then, it's
like I'm drinking too much, I'meating too much, I'm I'm not
(06:39):
coping with grief in a waythat's healthy.
Um, and so I'd done severalwhole 30.
So I had these 30-day breaks,but that was like a longer,
75-day break in 2017.
And then I went back thinking Idon't know exactly what I
thought.
(06:59):
I thought that I might behealed.
I thought that I might be ableto control it.
And every time I went back toalcohol, it always, it always
ended up the same, becausealcohol doesn't change.
Sure, my relationship withalcohol never got better than it
was the moment I recognized itwas no longer serving me.
(07:20):
It only got worse.
But, god did I try to hang onto alcohol and keep it in my
life, and I'm trying to rememberthe timeline of my significant
breaks.
I think anything over threemonths to me is a significant
break.
So in 2020, that was when wewere all home and in lockdown
(07:46):
and I live in Oregon and we wereespecially locked down compared
to the rest of the country andI started buying wine by the box
and we have a refrigerator inour garage and I would keep my
boxed wine down there and itstarted out at five o'clock.
(08:07):
I'd go down and fill my glassand it was getting earlier and
earlier the longer we were inlockdown, to the point that it
was two o'clock and I was goingdown there and just huge pours,
huge pours.
I thought that a box was threebottles, I think it was four
Something.
I had it off by a bottle andI'm like, holy shit, I'm
(08:29):
drinking a lot of wine right nowand that's when I decided to do
the path through this nakedmind.
And I was really familiar withthis naked mind, annie Grace.
She's really a thought leaderin this space.
She wrote Control Alcohol.
I read that book two times.
(08:50):
I listened to it on audiobook.
She has a podcast she does.
She has a free alcoholexperiment.
I did the live alcoholexperiment twice in January,
which is like a 30 day.
There's daily coaching, all ofthat.
(09:10):
So I decided I was going to payand do this year long program
through this naked mind and Imet some amazing people.
We're still friends today.
We're still on a text string.
I stuck with that program forfour months.
I didn't drink.
I thought I was healed, thoughtI was, you know, totally done
(09:34):
with alcohol.
And then, whenever thingsstarted opening up and we made
our re-entry to society, I justwasn't prepared for that, to be
around people, for thesocialization.
It was easy to do at home withmy family, but once we started
(09:56):
going out and social gatheringsand part of it was really
celebratory too I mean, there'salways an excuse to drink, but
really a celebration.
Things are opening back up.
Oh, we're not going to have towear masks the rest of our lives
, all those things.
That's when you know, I starteddrinking again.
(10:17):
And I think, once you know, oncethere's that awareness there,
awareness there that that you,there's an issue with alcohol,
you really, I really could neverdrink with just disregard and
abandonment.
It was always in the back of mymind how much am I going to
drink?
How am I going to not get drunk?
(10:39):
You know, am I?
Am I going to drink tonight?
How much is I am I going todrink?
I wrote about this Do I haveenough alcohol?
Do I have too much alcohol?
Those thoughts just consumed me.
I didn't want to get drunk infront of my kids, but I didn't
want to give up alcohol.
And it was just such, um, I wasjust in such war within myself.
(11:04):
It was just such, I was just insuch war within myself.
And so then, that was in 2020,started drinking again in
January 2021.
Had some more breaks in between.
In September of 2022, I joinedthe path again.
The path had evolved from ayear-long program to a 90-day
(11:26):
program.
That's where I met Shannon atMommy Does Not Need Wine, who's
been really pivotal in myjourney.
Her friendship has meant theworld to me and we've stayed in
communication and I say shegraduated and stayed sober.
I dropped out.
I didn't drop out, I finishedthe program but I started
drinking again.
I mean, I didn't drop out, Ifinished the program but I
started drinking again, like Imean, this is just ridiculous,
(11:48):
right it's so crazy to hear metell this story of how many
starts and stops there were.
If I heard somebody else sayingwhat I'm saying, you're like God
.
How could you not figure thatout?
How could you not figure out itwas never going to.
You know, relationship withalcohol was never going to
(12:09):
change.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
So what brought you to the actual stop?
How do you?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
know you don't do it anymore.
I was so sick and tired ofbeing sick and tired I realized
it was.
It was never going to getbetter, it was only going to get
worse.
And the more I tried to controlit, the more alcohol controlled
me, because it was all in myhead.
You know, I was thinking aboutit nonstop.
If I wasn't thinking about whenI was going to drinking drink,
(12:38):
I was thinking about when I wasgoing to quit drinking and stop
drinking and yeah, so let's,let's, let's just pause for a
second.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
There's so much, so much good that you said why do
we go to it in the first place?
You know everybody's different,but coping is such a bit.
You know, you used it to copewith grief or to cope with.
You know people use it forsocial anxiety or depression, or
not only thinking that it's thesolution, when in fact it
becomes the problem, and justhow the mental exhaustion of
(13:10):
trying to figure that out andcontrol it and enjoy it at the
same time, which is literallyimpossible.
And then what that brings us toand I hope you speak to this
later on is to the absolutefreedom when we decide to put it
down for good.
And so you really articulatedthat really well.
So, like 21.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Yeah, so in the three month program in 2022, I was
following Shannon because sheand I were friends and she had
this sober Instagram account andI was really appalled by some
of the things she shared, likeher, her, you know.
Going back to her vulnerabilityand what she shared.
And I remember reaching out toher and I asked you know, do
(13:56):
your real life friends followyou?
Do you know?
Do they know?
Do they see what you're posting?
And she was just like I don't,they might, or they might not,
they don't say a whole lot, butshe's like I don't really care,
like it's not about them.
You know, this was about herand her journey and her
relationship with her family andher daughters and all of that,
(14:19):
and I really admired that and Ireally related to her story
through her posts and she wasreally instrumental in helping
me believe that, in thepossibility of a sober life, and
I think that I want everybodyto believe in the possibility of
a sober life and that a soberlife is better than struggling
(14:44):
every day and trying to makealcohol fit into your life.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yeah, and so in 2023, .
Speaker 2 (14:55):
I found a faster way, which is this at home workout,
fat loss, nutrition, blah, blah,blah.
And and it's really what Ineeded my perimenopausal body at
the time needed and love theseworkouts.
I got laid off in June of lastyear I think I found out in May
(15:21):
of my communications job that Ihad had for eight years and I
loved and I was trying to findout, figure out what next steps
were.
Love this program, gotcertified as a fat loss and
nutrition coach.
Through this program, it wasalways in the back of my head I
have to get sober, I have toquit drinking, and this was
really the first program I'vedone.
(15:42):
That discourages alcohol.
Okay, it says like alcoholshould really not be a part of
your health journey, you know,but if you drink, here's how you
count macros.
But it's a piece of it likeeducation around alcohol and why
it's not good, especially formidlife fat loss efforts, and so
(16:03):
that resonated with me.
So I decided I was going to becertified to be a fat loss,
weight loss, nutrition coach formidlife sober and sober curious
women.
That was going to be my niche,cause they say you know, you
need a niche.
There's all these coaches outthere and you know a dime, a
dozen.
Some are really really great,don't get me wrong, but it's,
(16:24):
there's a lot of us out there.
And so what's your niche?
And so I'm like my niche isgoing to be sober and sober,
curious women.
So I called Shannon.
This is what I'm thinking.
What do you think?
You know she's like go for it.
Yeah, absolutely, I love it.
I'll support you however I can.
And so I'm like I'm going tostart an Instagram account.
(16:50):
I started this Instagram accountlike the name of it, the whole
platform I was following peoplebefore I was even sober, and I
started it a week into mysobriety and what I found was
the sober content was resonatingwith people.
I was having trouble withworking out and doing video
(17:10):
workouts and all of that withworking out and doing video
workouts and all of that.
And so I stuck with the sobercontent.
And here I am, almost a yearlater.
It's like I put it out therelike I believed it before I
actually believed it, and itprovided a layer of
accountability that I can't letthese people down.
(17:34):
You know they're going to besober, they're relying on my
content, but it really has been.
It's helped me way more thanit's helped other people, I
think, and now I'm the one thatshares all the people are so
kind when I'm like, oh, thank mycringy content.
They're like it's not cringy,it's helpful.
But I do put a lot ofvulnerable details out there.
(17:58):
And now I'm doing it, and it'sbeen so freeing in so many ways,
not only sharing my story butgiving up alcohol and it's just.
I can't believe how much mylife has changed in less than a
year.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Let's take a moment to hear a recovery story from
one of my sponsors.
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found himself in a Texas rehabfacility detoxing After 10 years
of addiction.
He was finally able to admitthat it was time to get help.
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(18:36):
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(18:59):
yourself honest and rebuildingtrust.
Visit wwwsoberlinkcom backslashsober dash living and check out
the show notes to click thelink and receive $50 off your
device today.
Now back to our guest.
Perfectly said you know thefreedom, the freeing part.
(19:21):
You know it's like when you putsomething out there and people
don't run away but they runtoward you.
It gives you like evidence thathey, this is okay.
So I think that's one of thehardest things for people I know
it is for me to openly speakabout your life and the hard
(19:42):
parts, the parts that you havebehind closed doors, and you
know that's the.
That's the part that people wantto hear, because that's the
part that we need to all feellike, wow, we're all just human.
Like, since I launched thispodcast, like I can't walk into,
there's no room I'll walk intowhere I know that every single
(20:03):
person in that room has hadsomething significant happen in
their life that has beenextremely difficult.
I just can look at people morelike they're.
They're human, like everybodyis, and with alcohol, there's
such a stigma around it.
Can you speak to that a littlebit on?
Like diminishing the stigma?
Cause you talk aboutnormalizing sobriety, right,
(20:26):
right, I mean, it's common.
I think it's way more commonthan we think.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
For sure, for sure.
I think it's important to knowthat everyone is struggling with
something and just becausealcohol isn't their thing
doesn't mean they don't have athing.
We all have things.
So knowing that in general ishelpful to me in sharing my
(20:55):
story, because even if peopleare judgmental and of course for
every hundred nice comments Iget I might get one rude comment
, maybe not even that many, butI go back to my only response to
them is I'm glad alcohol isn'tyour thing, but I guarantee you
have a thing, have a nice day,because we're all battling
(21:19):
something.
Sure, and society makes us feellike if we struggle with alcohol
that's our fault, when in truth, alcohol is an addictive
substance, our struggling withalcohol is not our fault.
When in truth, alcohol is anaddictive substance, our
struggling with alcohol is notour fault, but it is our
responsibility.
(21:39):
And I think, just knowing thatand knowing how many women come
into my DMs with so much shameand so much guilt and telling me
they're the worst mother andtelling me I had someone
yesterday who I did a postaround midlife women and
(22:04):
drinking and feeling alone andstruggling with alcohol and she
came into my DMs and said thatshe was commenting there because
she said I don't want people toknow I'm sober curious, as if
that was embarrassing in someregard.
And I just, you know, I toldher there's no shame in being
sober, curious, we're.
(22:25):
Alcohol is garbage, it'sdestructive to our health and
our well-being and our mentaland emotional wellness, and
there's just no shame inchoosing not to drink alcohol.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Yeah, yeah, and it's incredible how there is so much
shame, but there shouldn't be.
So I think what you're doing isbreaking that in a way.
Um, you know, but breaking freeof that.
Not just you, but you'rehelping others do that too,
because you're like.
They're like, wow, look whatshe's saying out loud.
(23:05):
So how did your account takeoff?
Like, when did you know that?
Wow, this is really somethingthat's resonating with women all
around the world and I'm goingto continue doing it because
it's not only helping them, butit's helping me.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I think I had thought in my mind if I was able to
help one person, convince oneperson that sobriety was a
better and easier way of life,it would be worth it.
And it's been a lot more thanone person.
And it's the comments that Iget on a daily basis and that's
(23:45):
really why I keep going and keepsharing, because it's a lot of
work.
I don't get paid for it.
There's no glory in having anInstagram account and I don't
want, I'm not looking tomonetize it, because people just
need a free resource.
They need to.
You know, they just, they justneed relatability, they need
(24:07):
support.
And you know my husband's likewhat are you, what are you doing
with this account?
I'm like I don't know, I don'tknow, I don't Um, but you know I
tell him.
I'm like this is like mytherapy.
This is my accountability.
I feel like it's a ministry atthis point and you know I told
you prior to this conversationthat I really felt called to do
(24:29):
this and and I've never feltcalled to do anything, it was,
it was through the faster way,like be a faster way coach.
You know, target, target, soberand sober, curious women like,
specifically because, um, I, I,you know there's a whole nother
conversation around midlifeweight gain and health and all
(24:52):
of that and how detrimentalalcohol is.
So it just seemed to go hand inhand.
And then I was like, oh my gosh, it's kind of like the bait and
hook, like talk about yourfaster.
It's like all I do is talkabout my sober piece.
Like I said I just it just feelslike like a ministry and but I
(25:18):
get so much back to and you know, there's a handful of people
who women, who didn't think theycould ever get sober that I'm
still I'm in regular contactwith and I it.
It just brings me such joy andmy, my motto is drinking is not
an option.
Anytime somebody DMs me andsays that you know I just keep
(25:40):
replaying drinking is not anoption.
Over and over in my head oryour words resonated with me or
I remember drinking is not anoption.
It's like I I'm making a smalldifference.
If I have any any impact insomeone's decision to consider a
sober life, then this is allworth it.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
So I think, yeah, that's great and I agree with
you, I think you're doing anincredible service, almost, but
it's also like what you had said.
It's it, it's helping you, it'slike almost like therapy.
It's like, yeah, you know, sowhat would you?
I think one of the things thatcaught me, um, like drew me to
your account, was I was like,wow, she's speaking to moms, you
(26:25):
know, and it's like I think of,I think that is in itself of
like moms, of elementary kids.
It's a busy season and you knowthey talk about mommy, wine,
culture and all this otherthings that I didn't really
experience but I've heard about.
And that really drew me becauseI thought, wow, you know, once
(26:47):
again she's putting the shameout of that, she's just stepping
out into that.
So, what would you talk about?
How your home has changed sinceyou decided to do this and to
be alcohol free?
How has that affected yourfamily and you as a mom, or your
functioning, or you as a memberof the community or whatever?
(27:07):
What are the benefits thatyou've experienced by choosing
this lifestyle?
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I think there was a significant chunk of time in
which my kids didn't trust mebecause they didn't know which
version of me was going to showup.
And my oldest son at one timehad said you're a really good
mom in the day, just not atnight.
And I mean, I will never forgetthat.
(27:32):
I will never forget those words.
Those words alone should havecaused me to stop drinking then
in that moment, but they didn't.
I kept thinking I could controlit, that I wouldn't get drunk
in front of him anymore, and soI think letting go of alcohol
(27:57):
enabled me to have self-trust,to trust myself.
I don't know on this journeythat I've ever been this
confident and I'm not going todrink regardless of what comes
my way.
Drinking is not an option.
And then in turn, my boys trustme, and when I have these
(28:23):
conversations, these hardconversations around their
recreational use of drugs and Isay drugs in general and I
include alcohol in that, becausealcohol is definitely a drug
then it comes with a lot moreweight when I'm not drinking
than if I were drinking, andI've talked very openly about my
(28:48):
struggle with alcohol.
I talk about us havingaddictive tendencies because
this is a generation, this hasbeen passed down generationally.
I talk about drugs, theirimpact on mental health and, and
(29:09):
it's made everything easier inso many ways.
I feel better, I'm more present, I'm a better mom.
I took my twins to a quinceaneraparty on Saturday night and it
was the first time that I saidI'm going to go to the bar and
(29:30):
get a drink, I'll be back.
And that was the first timethey didn't ask are'm going to
go to the bar and get a drink,I'll be back.
And that was the first timethey didn't ask are you going to
get alcohol?
Because they know I'm not atthis point, but I think it's
taken this long because I'vedone, because of all the other
stints I had done like longerstints.
I think they weren't sure like,is it going to stick this time?
Is it not going to even at?
(29:54):
I think I was almost eightmonths sober and I was.
I was hosting oh, I think I washosting bunco something and I
was serving wine and I wasgetting out the wine we have.
We have this wine cellar.
People like why don't you justget rid of it?
I'm like, I know I I to myhusband has since boxed it all
(30:14):
up and now it's sitting in ourliving room and I need to figure
out what I'm going to do withall of this wine, um, but you
know, I was.
I was getting all this stuffready and my son was like are
people going to be partyingtonight?
I'm like, well, some, probably.
And then he's like are yougoing to be partying tonight?
You know, I'm like, no, youknow, not today, not today, um,
(30:41):
but that was even eight months,so it's it's.
I think finally now they knowlike I'm serious about this.
They know all about myInstagram account.
My 17 year old is just.
You know, loves like.
How many followers do you have?
You know he designs clothes.
He's like do you want me to?
create some merch like, oh mygod, killing me.
Yeah, I know it's so funny,they're so funny, um, but it's
(31:03):
made everything easier andbetter and brighter.
And I don't wake up every dayjust laden with shame, guilt and
wondering if you know, it wasalways.
I'm not going to drink tonight.
I'm today's the day I'm notgoing to drink tonight.
And then I listened to theRachel Hart podcast on the way
(31:27):
home from dropping my kids offfrom school and then by two
o'clock, I was rationalizing aglass of wine.
Just tonight, it's tonight,I'll start tomorrow.
By five o'clock, I was openinga bottle every single day.
It just, it never changed.
It was the same thing day in,day out.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Yeah, you said something really important.
It's like when you believed inyourself, um, everyone, everyone
else started to as well, and Ithink that's so true.
I think, when people respecttheir choices, their sobriety,
there's a certain if I, if Irespect mine, everyone else is
going to too, Um, and also, youknow, there's that saying, the
(32:09):
ones closest to us are the lastones to see us change, or right.
So, and I think that's true,you know, if you, if you look at
family because I guess theyhave the closest eye as to when
we were, you know, like I thinkof my mom or dad, um, you know,
it was just like a convincing,like, no, listen, this is really
(32:32):
, it's really okay.
And then, once I truly, trulybelieve that was in my own heart
I knew I didn't have to saythat to them any longer, you
know, and that was a turningpoint, you know, because it
meant that I took hold of it.
I wasn't doing it for anythingor anybody else, but I was doing
it because I knew I wascompletely done.
So, yeah, that's reallyimportant and powerful, and I
(32:55):
love that the, your children,know about your account and you
know, cause this is like it'sthe way of the future Right and
so and their involvement andtheir excitement for it, you
know, is really great.
It's like you, you know it's asupport.
And your friends that you metalong the way, who you who have
been a support to you, you knowit's a support.
And your friends that you metalong the way, who you who have
been a support to you, you know,just as you're supporting those
(33:16):
women in your DMs that come inprivately or otherwise, you know
, to share their hearts andabout their struggles or their
questions.
So that's very powerful, Thankyou.
So what else?
What do you see in your futurewith this?
Thank you.
So what else?
What do you see in your futurewith this With?
Well, I know your alcohol freejourney is you're steadfast,
(33:38):
your your line.
Drinking is not an option.
It's so important to have thoseone liners that somebody can
just grab and mean.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Yeah, I think I would love to write a book.
At some point I joked in my Iwas in one of the captions that
my book is going to be calledDrinking is Not an Option.
I don't know what it's going tobe called.
You know I was a writer, for Idid spend my professional career
in public relations and so Iwrote.
(34:08):
All the time I've written, fromthe time I, you know, as early
as I can remember, I wrote formy high school newspaper, my
college newspaper, my entireprofessional career, and so this
is really my account's, reallyan extension of that.
I get to tell, I get to writeand I get to tell stories, and I
think that is another part ofthe relatability is I'm a
(34:30):
storyteller, so it it that comesnaturally for me.
And so I don't know what my bookwould be about, but it's.
It's a way for when myhusband's like what are you
going to do with this?
(34:51):
Come on, the growth has beenincredible.
Having said that, I want to beable to give everyone who
reaches out proper time andattention.
Sure, to manage that in a waythat I can be present for my
(35:18):
family and still minister tothese people who who reach out
to me.
But I don't know.
I don't know what it looks like.
My husband and I talk about ita lot.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Yeah, so if anyone's listening right now and they are
struggling, what would be likethree things that you would tell
them.
That is important as far asstepping into this lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
There's a hundred things that are important.
It's going to be hard to narrowit down to three.
I think that it's not going tobe easy, but it's going to be
worth it.
We want instant gratificationand we live in a society where
that's largely possible in manyaspects of our lives.
(36:06):
I was going to my eventSaturday night.
I needed mascara and I neededsome tape things to help keep my
dress up.
So I went to Amazon and it wasdelivered between 2 and 5 pm
that day.
That's the society we live in,and so we want things to be
immediately better, immediatelyfixed.
And this is a journey, this isa process.
(36:30):
There's going to be a lot ofups and downs, so just know it's
not easy but it's worth it.
And I would say a slip isn'tfailure, it's part of the
process.
And if anyone is a testament tothat, it's me, because of all
(36:54):
the times I slipped and fell andthought I was failing.
And it wasn't failing, it wasactually part of the work.
You don't fail unless you quittrying.
And I say sobriety isn't, itdoesn't have to be all or
nothing in the beginning asyou're figuring things out,
because every day we choose notto drink, our bodies rejoice and
(37:17):
, lastly, I would say, wheneveryou're ready to be done, decide.
Drinking is not an option andyou can do anything but drink.
You can eat a cake, you can goto bed at eight o'clock, you can
take a bath at two in theafternoon, you can go for a walk
.
You can go to a movie byyourself, you can go to the park
with your kids.
You can take a bath at two inthe afternoon, you can go for a
walk.
You can go to a movie byyourself.
You can go to the park withyour kids.
You can take your dog to thedog park.
(37:38):
Anything that gets you out ofthat feeling like you need a
drink, anything but drink.
So, regardless of what comesyour way, drinking is not an
option.
So how are you going to dealwith it?
How are you going to cope?
It's not with alcohol.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Love it All good, all good answers, absolutely
helpful.
Thank you, yeah, so where can?
So where can people find youduring the week?
Speaker 2 (38:10):
The only place I am is on Instagram at macros in
mocktails, so macros letter inmocktails.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Thank you for tuning into the sober living stories
podcast.
If you have been inspired,consider subscribing and sharing
with anyone who could use hopein their lives.
Remember to stay tuned for moreinspiring stories in the
episodes to come.
To view our featured author ofthe month or to become a guest
yourself, visitwwwjessicastepanoviccom.
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