January 28, 2025 • 28 mins
Picture this: leaving behind the confines of a corporate cubicle and trading it for the open road, a van, and a trusty canine companion. That's exactly what Danette Deichmann did, and her story is inspiring. In our latest episode of Sober Living Stories, Danette opens up about her transformative life experience of swapping a life dominated by social drinking for one fueled by spontaneous adventures, health, and self-discovery. With her first year of alcohol-free living on the horizon, Danette shares the pivotal moments that led her to embrace a healthy lifestyle while living life as a full-time nomad. Her journey is filled with captivating tales of freedom, personal growth, and the new career she's gained.
The conversation doesn't stop there. We explore the courage it takes to make significant life changes, especially when alcohol is deeply woven into social and professional environments. Danette emphasizes the crucial support from communities and shares practical strategies she employed to safeguard her sobriety, like opting for non-alcoholic beverages and harnessing meditation and breath work to manage stress.
Beyond her narrative, Danette offers wisdom on empowering others to take incremental steps toward healthier living. From adjusting social media habits to prioritizing morning walks and quality sleep, her insights as a health and optimization coach provide a valuable guide. Whether contemplating a major lifestyle shift or just seeking inspiration, this episode offers perspectives that could enrich your journey.
Connect with Danette:
Email: healthcoachdanette@gmail.com
Instagram: @danettermay
Website: danettedeichmannwellness.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi and welcome to another episode of the Sober
Living Stories podcast.
Meet Danette Dykman.
She's a healthy livingenthusiast and a full-time nomad
and she's here to share herstory with us.
She is on her way to her firstyear of sobriety.
She's been sober, curious, foryears and she has so many
insights to share.
She's living her best life.
When I say full-time nomad, Iknow that she lives in a van
(00:25):
with her dog, Cody, and shehangs out at the best skiing,
climbing and trail running spotsin the West.
She's coming to us live fromCanada and she's going to just
take us back.
So welcome to the show.
I'm so happy to have you on, sohappy to be here.
So, Danette, you're a healthyliving enthusiast and an
optimization coach for health.
So you've recently made achange and you decided to change
(00:48):
your relationship with alcohol.
So can you take us back as faras you want to go and bring us
to the present day and the whyof that and how it's helped you
in your life?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Sure.
So I would say I had arelationship with alcohol that
was very acceptable in societalterms.
It wasn't anything where Iconsidered myself an alcoholic.
I didn't have an addiction oranything that was super dire
(01:20):
that I needed to get rid of.
It was more of a relationshipthat over the years I drank from
a very young age.
I grew up in a very small townwhere that was something, again,
that was kind of acceptable.
And then into college normal orI'd say that this you know
what's normal in society.
I drank a lot in college and hadsome scary incidents there.
(01:42):
And then got a corporate jobwhere I was going to conferences
and kind of entertainingclients and drinking was a big
part of that.
I mean, it seemed to just keepramping up in a way where it
wasn't.
It was becoming more and moreclear that it wasn't acceptable
to me, that it was being reallydetrimental to my body and my
(02:03):
life, and it was something thatI had to really take a look at.
I was a zero or 100 drinker.
I was either not drinking or Iwas going to drink or binge
drink really.
So it's not that I was drinkingevery day, but when I drank I
drank.
So that was something that Ithink was the first warning sign
(02:24):
, or the first like light bulb,that that maybe this is an
unhealthy relationship withalcohol and something that I
would feel better and be betteroff without, and I felt like the
only way to do that was tocompletely take alcohol out of
my life.
So I did.
Very luckily, I know I'mfortunate that it wasn't like I
(02:45):
said, it wasn't a true addiction, and that I did it pretty
easily and that I've had it outof my life for almost a year now
.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Wow, Very good.
So you said it was kind ofeasily in pre-record we talked
about or I had mentioned, Ithink there's like this
life-saving sobriety, and thenthere's also others who are
choosing to change theirrelationship with alcohol and
become alcohol-free and theirlives are so much better because
of it.
So the kind of lifestyle thatyou live can you just walk
(03:15):
listeners through that, becauseit's different, it's fun, but
you're living in a van with yourI guess, your dog's, your best
friend Cody, who I'd love to seea picture of, and just tell us
where you go, what you do, whata day in the life looks like for
you.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, so I am full-time on the road, usually
through the whole year.
I kind of follow the weatherand go where there's temperate
climates and where I can staypretty comfortable in my van
with my dog.
But a day in the life is kindof ever-changing and that's what
I really like is that it does.
(03:50):
It's a bunch of micro decisionsall the time where to go, where
to sleep, where to fill water.
You know just these minutedetails that are really normal
and really easy when you're in ahouse or all of a sudden
something to do and something tokind of a challenge when you're
when you're on the road.
But I get to see new places.
(04:10):
Along with the struggles ofnomad life, there's all the
wonderful things.
I walked at Lake Huron thismorning where Cody drank a ton
of water and then puked in myvan.
That's the van life.
But I did get to, you know, gofor my morning walk in a brand
new place along Lake Huron and,you know, wake up to a really
beautiful view, and that's kindof the perk and something that
(04:34):
is, you know, keeps me goingevery day.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Yeah, so let's, let's talk about this for a second.
That's really, that's reallyinteresting.
Great, I love how you have tomake, I guess, micro decisions
on what you're doing in a day toget what you need.
Also, I love that you're justgoing for what you want to do
and not following the line.
But you did mention you had acorporate job and you also
(04:57):
mentioned that you're 11 monthsalcohol free.
So like talk about how'd youget from corporate to nomad life
and when did you?
Yeah, so like walk me throughthat.
Like when did you make thatdecision and when did you make
that secondary decision?
And were they kind of linked?
Because you know, corporatelife is a little stressful,
right, and it's in a box and ina line, and then you kind of
(05:21):
freed it up.
So how did that look?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Yeah, it wasn't.
I don't think it was linear orall at once at all.
It really I think we have towake up and I have to wake up
and it took me a long time tostart to realize these things
that were not benefiting me andwere really detrimental to my
life.
So I always say it was anawakening of like five years
where it was just like I don'treally like my job and maybe
(05:47):
this marriage isn't the bestmarriage for me and maybe I
don't like being in cities, andit was all these things that I
was finally able to be, have myeyes open to and wake up to and
you know, not be we don't wantto look at the things that are
uncomfortable or might behitting us in the face, that are
(06:07):
that are wrong in life.
So, like I said, I took, I tookmy time to to get comfortable
with all these reallyuncomfortable things that I had
to be really honest with myself,that were no longer working for
me, and start to allow myselfto think about what I really
want and what could make mehappy and what changes would
have to happen to even start toopen the doors to a new life.
(06:31):
As cheesy as that may sound,but it really has been.
So over five years I quit myjob, I got divorced, I started a
new career as a health coachand I left a house in a city and
moved into a van as a full-timenomad and full-time on the road
, which is probably the biggestchange of all of those kind of
(06:51):
life-changing things.
And then on top of that I addedin sobriety, which was an extra
challenge, but I knew it wouldjust level up my life even more.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Yeah, that's really inspiring.
I mean, I'm sitting here andI'm thinking.
I want to look at the things,because I think most people say,
wow, this is uncomfortable orI'm not happy here, but that's
as far as they go.
Like, you looked at it, you sawwhat was uncomfortable in your
life and you thought how can Imake a change?
And then you acted on it, andthat, I think, is the
(07:22):
differentiating piece betweenyou and a lot of other people.
But so could you give listenersjust an idea of like, how did
you have the courage to do that?
Like, what made you just sayyou know what?
I want this to be different,because people may be at a point
where they have made thedecisions, have eliminated bad
habits, and now they'recurrently in their same
(07:43):
situation, without the badhabits.
And how can they level it up tobe really satisfied in their
life?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
I think it's with social media and media and TV
and everything.
I think we a lot of times hearthe overnight story where it was
like I couldn't take it anymoreand here's my new life, and it
cuts out all the pain points inbetween and usually what is what
for me was a five year journey.
So I would tell listeners inthe beginning be patient with
(08:14):
yourself and and the first stepis to be able to acknowledge
that something's not right andthat you want something
different and acknowledge thatthat's really scary and that it
could take a lot of time andthat if it doesn't happen over
and over again, it's notpossible.
It's just everything happens inthe timing it's meant to and to
(08:38):
really give yourself grace andsome space to sit with a new
idea or a new feeling or a new,a dream, which I think when we
get stuck at our cookie cutterroutines and places that we feel
safe, even though it's notgreat, we get really scared or
we shy away from from dreaming,and the older we get, we shy
(08:59):
away from from dreaming ortrying to create something new.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
So I hear what you're saying is to be patient with
yourselves.
And it was not an overnightsuccess and it was a five-year
journey and, yeah, and thatcould be daunting for some
people.
They're like, oh no, but thetruth is we see a lot of success
stories but there is an extremeamount of hard work that goes
into doing that.
But it's life.
You don't want to get to theend of your life and be like I
wish I would have done that.
And so to start now to identify, to look at the places that you
(09:29):
want change in and then to havethe courage to do it bit by bit
and eventually it'll accumulateinto the life that you want to
live.
So your journey from corporateto making decisions, to leave a
marriage, to change your livingconditions and then to
eventually change yourrelationship with alcohol.
(09:50):
So can you talk a little bitabout the piece where you
decided to change yourrelationship with alcohol,
because that's a big part oflisteners but also a health
journey, yeah, it was a bigpiece of my health journey and
it was something that I desired.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Like I said, another desire for years I was sober,
curious and I wondered what itwould be like to be able to cut
out alcohol In my marriage.
It was a big part of what wehad in common.
We were big wine drinkers andthat was a big thing.
So I always kind of said, well,I can't get rid of it for that
reason, because I didn't want tohinder my relationship.
(10:31):
So there was a lot of ways Iput it off for years, but it
kept being a desire, like a truedesire of you know.
That I knew in my core wassomething I wanted to do and
want to eliminate for myself.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
So when you made your decision to leave corporate, to
leave your marriage, to makereal life changes, and one of
them was being changed yourrelationship with alcohol,
because ultimately it's for yourhealth, because you're a health
coach, so this is like hand inhand with your health evolution.
So you know, can you kind ofwalk us through that, and
(11:08):
especially the part with whereyou put down your relationship
with alcohol?
A lot of people are alcoholfree and they do it all
different ways.
So how was yours Like?
How did you come to that?
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Yeah.
So mine was kind of in cadencewith my own health journey.
I was starting to get healthierand work on some a myriad of
health issues that had taken medown this path of health
coaching and learning aboutnutrition and how to improve my
life through diet and nutritionand holistic methods.
I always knew alcohol wasunhealthy for me and it wasn't
(11:40):
doing me any favors, but it wasstill serving a lot of other
pieces of my life.
It was a big part of mymarriage.
We were big wine drinkers.
It was a big part of my career.
We were always out andentertaining clients.
So there were so many things foryears that felt like it was
making it really hard for me,which it is.
(12:00):
It's in our society.
It's so accepted Alcohol is sowidely accepted that I think
it's very scary and it is veryhard to think about stepping
away from it.
So again, I just gave myselftime.
It was a decision over a numberof years where I just kept
revisiting this core feelingthat it was something I really
really wanted to do for myselfwas to get away from alcohol and
(12:24):
try a completely sober life.
So again it was.
It was timing and a lot ofthings that came together at
once.
So I was, I was on the road andI was able to keep alcohol away
from my van.
I'm oftentimes parked somewherefor a week and all I have with
me is the groceries I brought.
So it's really easy to keepthings out of the house and not
(12:45):
the house, the van, your house,not be in restaurants or you
know places.
Where it's really tempting.
And that was really beneficialto me was just to have it away
and then to find a group ofpeople that also were trying
sobriety or trying the samething.
I think it's so important tohave a community and support of
(13:06):
other people that arelike-minded and dealing with the
same challenges and going forthe same goals you are.
So a lot of things cametogether at once and finally
allowed for me to make thisdecision, to make this jump into
sobriety.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Yeah, you made a good point with community.
It's so much easier when you'resurrounding yourself with
people who are doing the samething.
So there's a lot of communities, there's 12-step, there's
church communities, there'sonline communities, and what was
your choice for community?
Speaker 2 (13:36):
For community was.
I found friends that were alsotoying with this idea or had
made the jump, and I had afriend that did a full year of
sobriety and I had seen him andtalked to him about what his
journey was and where he was nowand how everything that he was
experiencing on the other sideof sobriety, and it was just
truly an inspiration to me andit was like that final thing
(13:58):
that I needed to just take thejump.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Sure, and those early steps of making changes and
safeguarding your decisions bynot going to restaurants,
keeping it out of your home.
Those are really important, andnot necessarily that they have
to be true for the future,because as we gain momentum in
(14:21):
our health decisions, we reenter, because it's a drinking world,
right, and so we can't take itout of the restaurant.
But we can probably easilyreenter that whole world, and we
have to because you know wewant to be part of, and so.
But in the beginning I thinksafeguarding, like you had said,
is so important until you getthat habit in place that that's
(14:43):
just not part of it anymore andyou order different.
So what do you order when yougo into a restaurant?
What do you buy now for yourhome slash van, which is your
nomad life?
What do you bring into yourhouse now?
Any replacements that have beengreat for you?
Speaker 2 (14:58):
A ton of replacements and there's so many now.
Nowadays it's just like yearsago.
You couldn't be gluten free.
It was really hard, and now wehave all these replacements.
And then the last five yearsit's become the same with
alcohol.
There is so many differentthings that you can have.
There's even replacements forgin.
There's fake hard liquors.
(15:18):
But my main thing is in arestaurant I do club soda and
lime.
I'm a little boring that way.
But outside of that in my van Ihave all kinds of different
sparkling waters.
Spindrift is a huge favorite ofmine.
Trader Joe's has sparklingpineapple juice.
I just do little treats,something that's bubbly and and
has that same feel as a.
(15:39):
It's a, it's a drink to enjoy,and I'm not and I eliminate the
need for a feeling from it.
It's just having a bubbly drinkto enjoy.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Yeah, that's really good.
Do you have any like?
Is there any spiritualcomponent?
I know a lot of people havelike a spiritual component that
they add in or practice, or somepeople that don't like.
I mean for you, is thereanything like?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
that For me it's it's meditation and breath work, and
that's more coming from myhealth journey as well.
Stress was a big thing thatplayed into my health and was
really detrimental to my health,was keeping me sick all the
time.
Stress was also a big reason Idrank.
So I knew that I had to find away to manage stress, especially
(16:22):
with completely eliminatingalcohol.
I leaned hard into meditationand breath work.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Yeah, that's interesting, that's good.
Yeah, because it's a copingmechanism for a lot of people,
for whatever reason, and astress eliminator, right and so.
But unfortunately it's underthe guise of like, oh, this is
going to help me, but iteventually doesn't help because
it's a depressant and it's allthese things, and we wake up
feeling terrible, you know, andit like does not really do what
(16:51):
it's marketed to say it does.
So breaking that whole myth foryourself must have been pretty,
pretty eyeopening, as I know itwas for me.
So, yeah, and I think it's true, there are a lot of other
replacements and alcohol-freeoptions out there, and
meditation and breath work isreally great, I know.
Just, even if you're not fullyinvolved in meditation and
(17:14):
breath work and if you rememberto, you know I tell my kids
before they go into an eventthat's stressful or a test, you
know we do three huge breaths,like in through your nose, out
through your mouth, like getthat oxygen up to your brain,
and or before bed, you know, andjust give space, you know, and
give yourself some a moment tobreathe, because a lot of times
(17:35):
we move so fast we just don't,we forget, you know, and just
slowing down.
So what's it like?
Like you have your dog with you, so when you're in your van,
like a dog is another wonderfulcompanion and friend.
We just brought a dog into ourhome and he was a little puppy
and now he's 95 pounds and hewas a rescue.
(17:57):
But what a joy to our life.
Like what he's a member of ourfamily, like we absolutely are
in love with him.
And so what has that been likefor you to travel with your
companion.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
I have had my dog, cody, for he's 17.
So he's my little old old man,he's my, my grumpy, grumpy old
man, old man, um, but he's beensuch a big component of of my my
health journey as, as well assobriety, um, he's what gets you
up in the morning, like whenyou have a dog.
I'm sure you know now, staringat face.
(18:32):
You have to get out of bed, youhave to take them for a walk,
you have to go outside, which Ithink without a pet, sometimes
you can stay inside all day.
So it gets you outside, it getsyou to take a breath of fresh
air, it gets you to get yoursteps in when he's done.
He's done all those things andand more for me, in addition to
just being a companion and beingthe guy on the other seat that
(18:53):
I, that I talked to when I'm inToronto traffic.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Right, and you're in Canada right now and you
mentioned a morning walk.
So where did you walk?
And like that's, that's sogreat, you know.
And dog yeah, having a dog getsyou out there, but like really
committing to getting outside innature and like just being out
there, being physical, lookingaround, being in different
environments, like where did youwalk today?
Speaker 2 (19:16):
This morning I put my phone away and I went into a
little park that happened to beright along the beaches of Lake
Huron and you could see out into.
It looked like an ocean becauseit's such a big lake.
These the Great Lakes up herehave just blown my mind in their
vastness and size.
But yeah, we walked along LakeHuron this morning in a little
(19:38):
park.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
That's great.
So, yeah, we talked aboutreplacements having the courage
to make change.
What else can you add tolisteners who are kind of, like
I said, on the fence of likethey've made some big health
habit day by being free of theconstraints of like a normal
(20:13):
routine of society?
So what has that done for youto break free from that?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Yeah, I think being able to be on the road and
living my own, living my owntruth and doing things my way
has been so vital for mysobriety and my health.
I think it's.
Oh, I'm sorry, I lost my trainof thought.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Can you summarize your questionagain?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah, so you had the courage to make some really big
changes and you're living a lifethat's not following societal
rules.
You're traveling and you'reseeing sites that a lot of
people don't get to see.
You're choosing to do it on theroad, and so what would you say
to people who are currently?
They shed the old habits,they've made some changes, but
(21:02):
they're still not quite takingthe jump.
Whether it's starting abusiness or changing out of a
relationship, or even if it's afriend group, they want to make
a shift because it's not feelingright, or making a health
change.
Like what would you say to themto make that push?
Like what have you found on theother side of that risk?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
I would say don't wait and find the smallest thing
that you can do that feels likeit's a step in the right
direction and it might be thefirst of a bunch of different
decisions.
It might not be the thing thatgets you there right away, but
it's a step in the rightdirection and you want to just
start layering those things.
(21:40):
I think we all rely onmotivation or hope for
motivation or hope.
There's something that's goingto be the thing that pushes us
to do whatever's scary, whetherit's changing your health or
leaving a friend group oranything that we don't want to
do.
We rely on motivation andsomething that's going to just
drop down and make us do it, andthat really never comes.
(22:01):
So I say there's another M wordand it's momentum.
And you get momentum by takingthe tiniest little step that
doesn't feel scary, that isn'tas hard as something that feels
big or overwhelming, and thenthose little steps turn into
momentum and that's what givesyou the quote, unquote
motivation to actually change it.
(22:22):
Just it happens it's kind oftricking yourself almost into
the life that you want to live.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Sure, yeah, I know that when I took my book off the
shelf and I recommitted towriting it, I was online, as we
all are all the time, and youhad mentioned putting your phone
down and going for a walk, andI started to look at what I was
viewing, you know, for the pastmonth, and it wasn't really
serving me becoming literate,you know, in that field again,
right?
So I changed, like, myalgorithm, like and I did that
(22:52):
by X-ing out of the things andthen I started following things
that were more in line with mywhat I wanted to happen, my goal
of accomplishing the book, mygoal of staying accountable, or
tips on how to write betterediting.
So I just kind of redid it tospeak to more of a literary
space, of how I wanted to do.
(23:13):
And you talked about communityand being surrounded by
like-minded people and beingalcohol-free, and so is there
any good tips that you can givepeople as far as an online
presence for helping you alongyour health journey?
Speaker 2 (23:29):
I think you made a really good point with that.
I often see social media askind of something to put away or
get down or do less of, but Ithink you can really comb it and
groom it and make it somethingthat's really positive.
So if you're looking to make ahealth change but your social
media feed doesn't really haveanything healthy in it or it's a
(23:52):
bunch of junk food or recipesor something that has been fun
but it's not in line with whatyou want to do, it would be to
comb that social media andchange it to things so that
everything you see every day isin line with your goal and
you're inundating your mind withthe things that are your goal
instead of things that are notgoing to help you.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Yeah, that's really good.
Have it reflect who you'relooking to be and you'll
probably get there a lot quickerto be and you'll probably get
there a lot quicker.
Yeah, I love the walk.
I love getting up and going fora morning walk.
I don't do that, However, Ishould be.
So that was really when yousaid that.
I paid attention to thatbecause I wanted it to be part
(24:34):
of something that I do.
So, yeah, there's so many smallsteps that can be taken to
really reflect how we want to beand it'll just gain momentum
because it feels good.
Yeah, exactly, Very good.
So you're a health coach, anoptimization coach.
(24:55):
Can you explain that tolisteners and like what do you
do and how do you help and whodo you?
Speaker 2 (25:01):
help.
I work with everybody, but Ifocus on millennials that are
trying not to become theirparents and I say that with so
much love.
We love our parents.
Right now, I think we've seen alot of the older generation go
on to pills and into surgery andtry to manage everything with a
(25:21):
bit of a bandaid fix andthey're not ending up feeling
their best.
So I work with people that aretrying to prevent that and
looking for different ways tooptimize their health and really
live out all of their years inthe best, healthiest way and
really feel good throughholistic things such as
(25:42):
nutrition and diet and sleep andstress.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Sleep is a big one, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (25:48):
It's a big one and like who doesn't love sleep?
So that's where I start with myclients a lot, because if you
can focus on that and then, likeyou said, realize when you
start feeling good that it'scoming from whatever that
morning walk or sleep then youwant to do more of it, Then it
becomes easier, Um, and you wantto optimize it more.
So sleep is one I start with alot.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
That's really good, yeah, so where can people find
you?
And, as we wrap up, and if youhave any um, where can people
connect with you during the weekand, if you want to, where can
people connect with you duringthe week and, if you want to,
where can people connect withyou during the week?
And if they wanted to connectwith you to have you as a coach
to walk them through nutrition,sleep, alcohol-free living,
(26:32):
because you have expertise inthat, as far as you making a
change for yourself and itworked and you're seeing the
benefits, where can they connect?
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Yeah, so Instagram is my main thing.
My handle across Twitter,instagram and TikTok is Danette
R May.
D-a-n-e-t-t-e-r.
May and I do a free 30-minutecoaching session where we can
talk about some of your goalsand some of your tribulations
and what you're looking toaccomplish and see if we're a
(27:00):
fit.
I do that 30 minutes free andyou can set that up really
easily through my Instagram link.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
So it's like a free consultation yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Oh, that's great.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
So do you document your travels?
Speaker 2 (27:12):
as well.
That's all in the same thing.
So my page is a combination ofhealthy living and healthy
living on the road.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I love the title healthy living enthusiast.
It just encapsulates everythingthat you're doing, your
decisions, your lifestyle, yourchoices and how you're going to
serve people, and I look forwardto watching you and seeing this
all play out.
And also I encourage listenersto follow you on Instagram.
(27:40):
I'll have that in the shownotes.
I'll also have her coachingconsultation link in there if
you wanted to click on that andhave a free 30-minute
consultation with Danette.
She's happy to have that withyou and get you on your path to
living out the best version ofwho you are.
So thank you so much for beingon the show.
I really appreciate you comingon and taking some time out to
(28:02):
let us know a little bit aboutwho you are.
Thank you so much for having meand congratulations on almost
having one year alcohol free.
That's a huge accomplishment.
We'd love to see a picture ofyour dog and stuff Is Cody on
your Instagram.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
He is.
He is all over my Instagram.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Yeah, so we'll have to check him out.
And it's so great I love thatyou have a companion to do this
whole thing with and enjoyCanada.
Where's your next destination Iam headed?
Speaker 2 (28:31):
to the far East as far as Maine.
Those are Maine, vermont, newHampshire three States I've
never been to so I'm going toexplore those into the fall.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Well, enjoy it and keep going after your life.
You're doing an incredible joband I'm going to explore those
into the fall.
Well, enjoy it and keep goingafter your life.
You're doing an incredible joband I'm happy to have had you on
the show today.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Thank you.
Hi and welcome to another episode of the Sober
Living Stories podcast.
Meet Danette Dykman.
She's a healthy livingenthusiast and a full-time nomad
and she's here to share herstory with us.
She is on her way to her firstyear of sobriety.
She's been sober, curious, foryears and she has so many
insights to share.
She's living her best life.
When I say full-time nomad, Iknow that she lives in a van
(00:25):
with her dog, Cody, and shehangs out at the best skiing,
climbing and trail running spotsin the West.
She's coming to us live fromCanada and she's going to just
take us back.
So welcome to the show.
I'm so happy to have you on, sohappy to be here.
So, Danette, you're a healthyliving enthusiast and an
optimization coach for health.
So you've recently made achange and you decided to change
(00:48):
your relationship with alcohol.
So can you take us back as faras you want to go and bring us
to the present day and the whyof that and how it's helped you
in your life?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Sure.
So I would say I had arelationship with alcohol that
was very acceptable in societalterms.
It wasn't anything where Iconsidered myself an alcoholic.
I didn't have an addiction oranything that was super dire
(01:20):
that I needed to get rid of.
It was more of a relationshipthat over the years I drank from
a very young age.
I grew up in a very small townwhere that was something, again,
that was kind of acceptable.
And then into college normal orI'd say that this you know
what's normal in society.
I drank a lot in college and hadsome scary incidents there.
(01:42):
And then got a corporate jobwhere I was going to conferences
and kind of entertainingclients and drinking was a big
part of that.
I mean, it seemed to just keepramping up in a way where it
wasn't.
It was becoming more and moreclear that it wasn't acceptable
to me, that it was being reallydetrimental to my body and my
(02:03):
life, and it was something thatI had to really take a look at.
I was a zero or 100 drinker.
I was either not drinking or Iwas going to drink or binge
drink really.
So it's not that I was drinkingevery day, but when I drank I
drank.
So that was something that Ithink was the first warning sign
(02:24):
, or the first like light bulb,that that maybe this is an
unhealthy relationship withalcohol and something that I
would feel better and be betteroff without, and I felt like the
only way to do that was tocompletely take alcohol out of
my life.
So I did.
Very luckily, I know I'mfortunate that it wasn't like I
(02:45):
said, it wasn't a true addiction, and that I did it pretty
easily and that I've had it outof my life for almost a year now
.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Wow, Very good.
So you said it was kind ofeasily in pre-record we talked
about or I had mentioned, Ithink there's like this
life-saving sobriety, and thenthere's also others who are
choosing to change theirrelationship with alcohol and
become alcohol-free and theirlives are so much better because
of it.
So the kind of lifestyle thatyou live can you just walk
(03:15):
listeners through that, becauseit's different, it's fun, but
you're living in a van with yourI guess, your dog's, your best
friend Cody, who I'd love to seea picture of, and just tell us
where you go, what you do, whata day in the life looks like for
you.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, so I am full-time on the road, usually
through the whole year.
I kind of follow the weatherand go where there's temperate
climates and where I can staypretty comfortable in my van
with my dog.
But a day in the life is kindof ever-changing and that's what
I really like is that it does.
(03:50):
It's a bunch of micro decisionsall the time where to go, where
to sleep, where to fill water.
You know just these minutedetails that are really normal
and really easy when you're in ahouse or all of a sudden
something to do and something tokind of a challenge when you're
when you're on the road.
But I get to see new places.
(04:10):
Along with the struggles ofnomad life, there's all the
wonderful things.
I walked at Lake Huron thismorning where Cody drank a ton
of water and then puked in myvan.
That's the van life.
But I did get to, you know, gofor my morning walk in a brand
new place along Lake Huron and,you know, wake up to a really
beautiful view, and that's kindof the perk and something that
(04:34):
is, you know, keeps me goingevery day.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Yeah, so let's, let's talk about this for a second.
That's really, that's reallyinteresting.
Great, I love how you have tomake, I guess, micro decisions
on what you're doing in a day toget what you need.
Also, I love that you're justgoing for what you want to do
and not following the line.
But you did mention you had acorporate job and you also
(04:57):
mentioned that you're 11 monthsalcohol free.
So like talk about how'd youget from corporate to nomad life
and when did you?
Yeah, so like walk me throughthat.
Like when did you make thatdecision and when did you make
that secondary decision?
And were they kind of linked?
Because you know, corporatelife is a little stressful,
right, and it's in a box and ina line, and then you kind of
(05:21):
freed it up.
So how did that look?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Yeah, it wasn't.
I don't think it was linear orall at once at all.
It really I think we have towake up and I have to wake up
and it took me a long time tostart to realize these things
that were not benefiting me andwere really detrimental to my
life.
So I always say it was anawakening of like five years
where it was just like I don'treally like my job and maybe
(05:47):
this marriage isn't the bestmarriage for me and maybe I
don't like being in cities, andit was all these things that I
was finally able to be, have myeyes open to and wake up to and
you know, not be we don't wantto look at the things that are
uncomfortable or might behitting us in the face, that are
(06:07):
that are wrong in life.
So, like I said, I took, I tookmy time to to get comfortable
with all these reallyuncomfortable things that I had
to be really honest with myself,that were no longer working for
me, and start to allow myselfto think about what I really
want and what could make mehappy and what changes would
have to happen to even start toopen the doors to a new life.
(06:31):
As cheesy as that may sound,but it really has been.
So over five years I quit myjob, I got divorced, I started a
new career as a health coachand I left a house in a city and
moved into a van as a full-timenomad and full-time on the road
, which is probably the biggestchange of all of those kind of
(06:51):
life-changing things.
And then on top of that I addedin sobriety, which was an extra
challenge, but I knew it wouldjust level up my life even more.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Yeah, that's really inspiring.
I mean, I'm sitting here andI'm thinking.
I want to look at the things,because I think most people say,
wow, this is uncomfortable orI'm not happy here, but that's
as far as they go.
Like, you looked at it, you sawwhat was uncomfortable in your
life and you thought how can Imake a change?
And then you acted on it, andthat, I think, is the
(07:22):
differentiating piece betweenyou and a lot of other people.
But so could you give listenersjust an idea of like, how did
you have the courage to do that?
Like, what made you just sayyou know what?
I want this to be different,because people may be at a point
where they have made thedecisions, have eliminated bad
habits, and now they'recurrently in their same
(07:43):
situation, without the badhabits.
And how can they level it up tobe really satisfied in their
life?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
I think it's with social media and media and TV
and everything.
I think we a lot of times hearthe overnight story where it was
like I couldn't take it anymoreand here's my new life, and it
cuts out all the pain points inbetween and usually what is what
for me was a five year journey.
So I would tell listeners inthe beginning be patient with
(08:14):
yourself and and the first stepis to be able to acknowledge
that something's not right andthat you want something
different and acknowledge thatthat's really scary and that it
could take a lot of time andthat if it doesn't happen over
and over again, it's notpossible.
It's just everything happens inthe timing it's meant to and to
(08:38):
really give yourself grace andsome space to sit with a new
idea or a new feeling or a new,a dream, which I think when we
get stuck at our cookie cutterroutines and places that we feel
safe, even though it's notgreat, we get really scared or
we shy away from from dreaming,and the older we get, we shy
(08:59):
away from from dreaming ortrying to create something new.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
So I hear what you're saying is to be patient with
yourselves.
And it was not an overnightsuccess and it was a five-year
journey and, yeah, and thatcould be daunting for some
people.
They're like, oh no, but thetruth is we see a lot of success
stories but there is an extremeamount of hard work that goes
into doing that.
But it's life.
You don't want to get to theend of your life and be like I
wish I would have done that.
And so to start now to identify, to look at the places that you
(09:29):
want change in and then to havethe courage to do it bit by bit
and eventually it'll accumulateinto the life that you want to
live.
So your journey from corporateto making decisions, to leave a
marriage, to change your livingconditions and then to
eventually change yourrelationship with alcohol.
(09:50):
So can you talk a little bitabout the piece where you
decided to change yourrelationship with alcohol,
because that's a big part oflisteners but also a health
journey, yeah, it was a bigpiece of my health journey and
it was something that I desired.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Like I said, another desire for years I was sober,
curious and I wondered what itwould be like to be able to cut
out alcohol In my marriage.
It was a big part of what wehad in common.
We were big wine drinkers andthat was a big thing.
So I always kind of said, well,I can't get rid of it for that
reason, because I didn't want tohinder my relationship.
(10:31):
So there was a lot of ways Iput it off for years, but it
kept being a desire, like a truedesire of you know.
That I knew in my core wassomething I wanted to do and
want to eliminate for myself.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
So when you made your decision to leave corporate, to
leave your marriage, to makereal life changes, and one of
them was being changed yourrelationship with alcohol,
because ultimately it's for yourhealth, because you're a health
coach, so this is like hand inhand with your health evolution.
So you know, can you kind ofwalk us through that, and
(11:08):
especially the part with whereyou put down your relationship
with alcohol?
A lot of people are alcoholfree and they do it all
different ways.
So how was yours Like?
How did you come to that?
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Yeah.
So mine was kind of in cadencewith my own health journey.
I was starting to get healthierand work on some a myriad of
health issues that had taken medown this path of health
coaching and learning aboutnutrition and how to improve my
life through diet and nutritionand holistic methods.
I always knew alcohol wasunhealthy for me and it wasn't
(11:40):
doing me any favors, but it wasstill serving a lot of other
pieces of my life.
It was a big part of mymarriage.
We were big wine drinkers.
It was a big part of my career.
We were always out andentertaining clients.
So there were so many things foryears that felt like it was
making it really hard for me,which it is.
(12:00):
It's in our society.
It's so accepted Alcohol is sowidely accepted that I think
it's very scary and it is veryhard to think about stepping
away from it.
So again, I just gave myselftime.
It was a decision over a numberof years where I just kept
revisiting this core feelingthat it was something I really
really wanted to do for myselfwas to get away from alcohol and
(12:24):
try a completely sober life.
So again it was.
It was timing and a lot ofthings that came together at
once.
So I was, I was on the road andI was able to keep alcohol away
from my van.
I'm oftentimes parked somewherefor a week and all I have with
me is the groceries I brought.
So it's really easy to keepthings out of the house and not
(12:45):
the house, the van, your house,not be in restaurants or you
know places.
Where it's really tempting.
And that was really beneficialto me was just to have it away
and then to find a group ofpeople that also were trying
sobriety or trying the samething.
I think it's so important tohave a community and support of
(13:06):
other people that arelike-minded and dealing with the
same challenges and going forthe same goals you are.
So a lot of things cametogether at once and finally
allowed for me to make thisdecision, to make this jump into
sobriety.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Yeah, you made a good point with community.
It's so much easier when you'resurrounding yourself with
people who are doing the samething.
So there's a lot of communities, there's 12-step, there's
church communities, there'sonline communities, and what was
your choice for community?
Speaker 2 (13:36):
For community was.
I found friends that were alsotoying with this idea or had
made the jump, and I had afriend that did a full year of
sobriety and I had seen him andtalked to him about what his
journey was and where he was nowand how everything that he was
experiencing on the other sideof sobriety, and it was just
truly an inspiration to me andit was like that final thing
(13:58):
that I needed to just take thejump.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Sure, and those early steps of making changes and
safeguarding your decisions bynot going to restaurants,
keeping it out of your home.
Those are really important, andnot necessarily that they have
to be true for the future,because as we gain momentum in
(14:21):
our health decisions, we reenter, because it's a drinking world,
right, and so we can't take itout of the restaurant.
But we can probably easilyreenter that whole world, and we
have to because you know wewant to be part of, and so.
But in the beginning I thinksafeguarding, like you had said,
is so important until you getthat habit in place that that's
(14:43):
just not part of it anymore andyou order different.
So what do you order when yougo into a restaurant?
What do you buy now for yourhome slash van, which is your
nomad life?
What do you bring into yourhouse now?
Any replacements that have beengreat for you?
Speaker 2 (14:58):
A ton of replacements and there's so many now.
Nowadays it's just like yearsago.
You couldn't be gluten free.
It was really hard, and now wehave all these replacements.
And then the last five yearsit's become the same with
alcohol.
There is so many differentthings that you can have.
There's even replacements forgin.
There's fake hard liquors.
(15:18):
But my main thing is in arestaurant I do club soda and
lime.
I'm a little boring that way.
But outside of that in my van Ihave all kinds of different
sparkling waters.
Spindrift is a huge favorite ofmine.
Trader Joe's has sparklingpineapple juice.
I just do little treats,something that's bubbly and and
has that same feel as a.
(15:39):
It's a, it's a drink to enjoy,and I'm not and I eliminate the
need for a feeling from it.
It's just having a bubbly drinkto enjoy.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Yeah, that's really good.
Do you have any like?
Is there any spiritualcomponent?
I know a lot of people havelike a spiritual component that
they add in or practice, or somepeople that don't like.
I mean for you, is thereanything like?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
that For me it's it's meditation and breath work, and
that's more coming from myhealth journey as well.
Stress was a big thing thatplayed into my health and was
really detrimental to my health,was keeping me sick all the
time.
Stress was also a big reason Idrank.
So I knew that I had to find away to manage stress, especially
(16:22):
with completely eliminatingalcohol.
I leaned hard into meditationand breath work.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Yeah, that's interesting, that's good.
Yeah, because it's a copingmechanism for a lot of people,
for whatever reason, and astress eliminator, right and so.
But unfortunately it's underthe guise of like, oh, this is
going to help me, but iteventually doesn't help because
it's a depressant and it's allthese things, and we wake up
feeling terrible, you know, andit like does not really do what
(16:51):
it's marketed to say it does.
So breaking that whole myth foryourself must have been pretty,
pretty eyeopening, as I know itwas for me.
So, yeah, and I think it's true, there are a lot of other
replacements and alcohol-freeoptions out there, and
meditation and breath work isreally great, I know.
Just, even if you're not fullyinvolved in meditation and
(17:14):
breath work and if you rememberto, you know I tell my kids
before they go into an eventthat's stressful or a test, you
know we do three huge breaths,like in through your nose, out
through your mouth, like getthat oxygen up to your brain,
and or before bed, you know, andjust give space, you know, and
give yourself some a moment tobreathe, because a lot of times
(17:35):
we move so fast we just don't,we forget, you know, and just
slowing down.
So what's it like?
Like you have your dog with you, so when you're in your van,
like a dog is another wonderfulcompanion and friend.
We just brought a dog into ourhome and he was a little puppy
and now he's 95 pounds and hewas a rescue.
(17:57):
But what a joy to our life.
Like what he's a member of ourfamily, like we absolutely are
in love with him.
And so what has that been likefor you to travel with your
companion.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
I have had my dog, cody, for he's 17.
So he's my little old old man,he's my, my grumpy, grumpy old
man, old man, um, but he's beensuch a big component of of my my
health journey as, as well assobriety, um, he's what gets you
up in the morning, like whenyou have a dog.
I'm sure you know now, staringat face.
(18:32):
You have to get out of bed, youhave to take them for a walk,
you have to go outside, which Ithink without a pet, sometimes
you can stay inside all day.
So it gets you outside, it getsyou to take a breath of fresh
air, it gets you to get yoursteps in when he's done.
He's done all those things andand more for me, in addition to
just being a companion and beingthe guy on the other seat that
(18:53):
I, that I talked to when I'm inToronto traffic.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Right, and you're in Canada right now and you
mentioned a morning walk.
So where did you walk?
And like that's, that's sogreat, you know.
And dog yeah, having a dog getsyou out there, but like really
committing to getting outside innature and like just being out
there, being physical, lookingaround, being in different
environments, like where did youwalk today?
Speaker 2 (19:16):
This morning I put my phone away and I went into a
little park that happened to beright along the beaches of Lake
Huron and you could see out into.
It looked like an ocean becauseit's such a big lake.
These the Great Lakes up herehave just blown my mind in their
vastness and size.
But yeah, we walked along LakeHuron this morning in a little
(19:38):
park.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
That's great.
So, yeah, we talked aboutreplacements having the courage
to make change.
What else can you add tolisteners who are kind of, like
I said, on the fence of likethey've made some big health
habit day by being free of theconstraints of like a normal
(20:13):
routine of society?
So what has that done for youto break free from that?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Yeah, I think being able to be on the road and
living my own, living my owntruth and doing things my way
has been so vital for mysobriety and my health.
I think it's.
Oh, I'm sorry, I lost my trainof thought.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Can you summarize your questionagain?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah, so you had the courage to make some really big
changes and you're living a lifethat's not following societal
rules.
You're traveling and you'reseeing sites that a lot of
people don't get to see.
You're choosing to do it on theroad, and so what would you say
to people who are currently?
They shed the old habits,they've made some changes, but
(21:02):
they're still not quite takingthe jump.
Whether it's starting abusiness or changing out of a
relationship, or even if it's afriend group, they want to make
a shift because it's not feelingright, or making a health
change.
Like what would you say to themto make that push?
Like what have you found on theother side of that risk?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
I would say don't wait and find the smallest thing
that you can do that feels likeit's a step in the right
direction and it might be thefirst of a bunch of different
decisions.
It might not be the thing thatgets you there right away, but
it's a step in the rightdirection and you want to just
start layering those things.
(21:40):
I think we all rely onmotivation or hope for
motivation or hope.
There's something that's goingto be the thing that pushes us
to do whatever's scary, whetherit's changing your health or
leaving a friend group oranything that we don't want to
do.
We rely on motivation andsomething that's going to just
drop down and make us do it, andthat really never comes.
(22:01):
So I say there's another M wordand it's momentum.
And you get momentum by takingthe tiniest little step that
doesn't feel scary, that isn'tas hard as something that feels
big or overwhelming, and thenthose little steps turn into
momentum and that's what givesyou the quote, unquote
motivation to actually change it.
(22:22):
Just it happens it's kind oftricking yourself almost into
the life that you want to live.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Sure, yeah, I know that when I took my book off the
shelf and I recommitted towriting it, I was online, as we
all are all the time, and youhad mentioned putting your phone
down and going for a walk, andI started to look at what I was
viewing, you know, for the pastmonth, and it wasn't really
serving me becoming literate,you know, in that field again,
right?
So I changed, like, myalgorithm, like and I did that
(22:52):
by X-ing out of the things andthen I started following things
that were more in line with mywhat I wanted to happen, my goal
of accomplishing the book, mygoal of staying accountable, or
tips on how to write betterediting.
So I just kind of redid it tospeak to more of a literary
space, of how I wanted to do.
(23:13):
And you talked about communityand being surrounded by
like-minded people and beingalcohol-free, and so is there
any good tips that you can givepeople as far as an online
presence for helping you alongyour health journey?
Speaker 2 (23:29):
I think you made a really good point with that.
I often see social media askind of something to put away or
get down or do less of, but Ithink you can really comb it and
groom it and make it somethingthat's really positive.
So if you're looking to make ahealth change but your social
media feed doesn't really haveanything healthy in it or it's a
(23:52):
bunch of junk food or recipesor something that has been fun
but it's not in line with whatyou want to do, it would be to
comb that social media andchange it to things so that
everything you see every day isin line with your goal and
you're inundating your mind withthe things that are your goal
instead of things that are notgoing to help you.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Yeah, that's really good.
Have it reflect who you'relooking to be and you'll
probably get there a lot quickerto be and you'll probably get
there a lot quicker.
Yeah, I love the walk.
I love getting up and going fora morning walk.
I don't do that, However, Ishould be.
So that was really when yousaid that.
I paid attention to thatbecause I wanted it to be part
(24:34):
of something that I do.
So, yeah, there's so many smallsteps that can be taken to
really reflect how we want to beand it'll just gain momentum
because it feels good.
Yeah, exactly, Very good.
So you're a health coach, anoptimization coach.
(24:55):
Can you explain that tolisteners and like what do you
do and how do you help and whodo you?
Speaker 2 (25:01):
help.
I work with everybody, but Ifocus on millennials that are
trying not to become theirparents and I say that with so
much love.
We love our parents.
Right now, I think we've seen alot of the older generation go
on to pills and into surgery andtry to manage everything with a
(25:21):
bit of a bandaid fix andthey're not ending up feeling
their best.
So I work with people that aretrying to prevent that and
looking for different ways tooptimize their health and really
live out all of their years inthe best, healthiest way and
really feel good throughholistic things such as
(25:42):
nutrition and diet and sleep andstress.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Sleep is a big one, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (25:48):
It's a big one and like who doesn't love sleep?
So that's where I start with myclients a lot, because if you
can focus on that and then, likeyou said, realize when you
start feeling good that it'scoming from whatever that
morning walk or sleep then youwant to do more of it, Then it
becomes easier, Um, and you wantto optimize it more.
So sleep is one I start with alot.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
That's really good, yeah, so where can people find
you?
And, as we wrap up, and if youhave any um, where can people
connect with you during the weekand, if you want to, where can
people connect with you duringthe week and, if you want to,
where can people connect withyou during the week?
And if they wanted to connectwith you to have you as a coach
to walk them through nutrition,sleep, alcohol-free living,
(26:32):
because you have expertise inthat, as far as you making a
change for yourself and itworked and you're seeing the
benefits, where can they connect?
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Yeah, so Instagram is my main thing.
My handle across Twitter,instagram and TikTok is Danette
R May.
D-a-n-e-t-t-e-r.
May and I do a free 30-minutecoaching session where we can
talk about some of your goalsand some of your tribulations
and what you're looking toaccomplish and see if we're a
(27:00):
fit.
I do that 30 minutes free andyou can set that up really
easily through my Instagram link.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
So it's like a free consultation yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Oh, that's great.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
So do you document your travels?
Speaker 2 (27:12):
as well.
That's all in the same thing.
So my page is a combination ofhealthy living and healthy
living on the road.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I love the title healthy living enthusiast.
It just encapsulates everythingthat you're doing, your
decisions, your lifestyle, yourchoices and how you're going to
serve people, and I look forwardto watching you and seeing this
all play out.
And also I encourage listenersto follow you on Instagram.
(27:40):
I'll have that in the shownotes.
I'll also have her coachingconsultation link in there if
you wanted to click on that andhave a free 30-minute
consultation with Danette.
She's happy to have that withyou and get you on your path to
living out the best version ofwho you are.
So thank you so much for beingon the show.
I really appreciate you comingon and taking some time out to
(28:02):
let us know a little bit aboutwho you are.
Thank you so much for having meand congratulations on almost
having one year alcohol free.
That's a huge accomplishment.
We'd love to see a picture ofyour dog and stuff Is Cody on
your Instagram.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
He is.
He is all over my Instagram.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Yeah, so we'll have to check him out.
And it's so great I love thatyou have a companion to do this
whole thing with and enjoyCanada.
Where's your next destination Iam headed?
Speaker 2 (28:31):
to the far East as far as Maine.
Those are Maine, vermont, newHampshire three States I've
never been to so I'm going toexplore those into the fall.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Well, enjoy it and keep going after your life.
You're doing an incredible joband I'm going to explore those
into the fall.
Well, enjoy it and keep goingafter your life.
You're doing an incredible joband I'm happy to have had you on
the show today.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Thank you.
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