October 7, 2025 • 23 mins
Beth, founder of "Beyond the Bottle" TikTok, shares how growing up with an alcoholic mother who died at 49 in 2019 despite multiple rehab attempts led her to create a support community for families affected by addiction. Despite childhood trauma including instability, stigma, and having to lock her bedroom door to protect belongings from her mother's theft, Beth earned a first-class university degree and now helps others understand that addiction stems from unhealed trauma, affects entire families, and requires community support rather than judgment. Her message emphasizes that people facing trauma have two paths - seek help or self-medicate - and that recovery isn't perfect but every attempt at sobriety matters, encouraging others that their traumatic background doesn't define their future.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Hello, sober town listeners.
Welcome to another episode of Sober Town Podcast.
I'm your host Michael, also known as MMC 13 on the I Am Sober app.
If you're new to Sober Town, welcome, please take a look around.
We offer so much more than just podcasts@sobertownpodcast.com.
There are tools, resources, links for support schedules, for online meetings, and ways to get connected.
(00:26):
I hope to see you around.
My guest today is Beth.
Beth is the founder of Beyond the Bottle, TikTok, whose mission it is to provide a safe, supportive space for the families and friends of those affected by alcoholism.
Through open conversation, peer support, and shared experiences, they aim to reduce isolation, promote healing, and help individuals find strength in community.
(00:52):
Beth, welcome to the show.
Thanks so much for joining me today.
Hi.
Thank you for having me.
It means an awful lot.
It's a pleasure.
Where are you coming to us from today? I'm coming from London today.
Excellent.
Across the pond.
So tell us a little bit about Beyond the Bottle.
(01:14):
So it's a fairly new page.
I started it, uh, let's say a few months ago.
Um, it hasn't had an awful lot of activity just because I'm trying to kind of build on it and think about where I want it to go, and, but even doing what I've done so far, I've feel like I've.
Kind of reached out to so many amazing people who have, you know, been in addiction and in their recovery.
(01:37):
And even if it's kind of day one or day a hundred or day thousand of their recovery, it's just so beautiful to see their journey and how hard they've all worked.
Just because from a personal point of view, which is where my page started, was my mum was a alcoholic, um, and she died.
(01:58):
2019.
But she started drinking when she was 17 just because, you know, she kind of got abused and her family didn't really support her and back her and believe her.
And when something like that happens, you either have one, like two roads, you either go, oh my God, how do I deal with this? Alcohol, drugs, you know, try and blur it out.
(02:27):
But then you go to the other side, which is no, I find support.
I find nature, I find God, I find, you know, all the healthier ways to deal with the trauma.
Which was quite sad even though, you know, a few late years down the line, she had myself and my dad, who's been a very strong character.
For her, it just wasn't really enough, if that makes sense.
(02:50):
Like we've always been so supportive.
We took her to the alcohol anonymous meetings, the amount of rehab she went through, absolutely crazy.
The amount of times.
Detoxes and time she was in hospital, but then by the end of it, she just became a kind of shell of her person.
She became bedbound.
(03:11):
She needed nappies at.
Like when I was first born, I remember if I even had a crumb in the house and she would go crazy at me and all of a sudden she was so delirious of the mess she was making and the state of the house and.
(03:32):
It was just like, oh my God, you're just a completely different person.
And it's just crazy to think about how addiction and alcoholism gets you to that point.
If you don't offer the, and accept the help.
It is a very hard road, you know, to accept you have an issue and things like that.
(03:53):
It's just if she was more on board with getting help and the support, you know, and trying to kind of talk to other people and.
Become part of the community where recovery is actually a thing and it can kind of change your life because at the end of the day, you are choosing one thing over everything else you have in life.
(04:16):
And that's your family, your friends, your children.
Like my mom would still be here.
She'd see me get married and have children and you know, drive my first car and finish in university and all of the amazing things I've achieved since she's passed.
But I feel like she is looking down on me, but obviously it would've been nice if she was here in the present moment.
(04:40):
This is, it's taken my life until now, but I'm ready to make a change.
I'm not choosing alcohol anymore.
You know, I'm, I'm choosing to live my life.
It's not gonna own me.
And also what I want to add to that is how many other people.
Uh, addiction to alcohol kind of affected it because obviously my dad and my mom's relationship was very kind of hotheaded.
(05:10):
Let's say.
There was some few moments where the police were called out, and obviously that troubled my schooling because, you know, I'd not be able to sleep because there'd be parties going on, and then teachers would get involved saying, Beth, are you okay? Like the amount of people that kind of decided to not be my friends or their parents would pull 'em away from me just because.
(05:36):
Because of who my mom was and the amount of relationships and friendships that were tarnished because of this is just crazy.
And like even growing up, the amount of people that were kind of friends with her for the wrong reasons is like good time.
Louise almost.
And yet.
As soon as her money run out.
(05:58):
That was it.
It was like, oh, Beth, she's ready to go home now.
And I was like, but she was sober before she came to you.
Now she's paralytic like, she's five eight.
I am a child.
How on earth do you expect me to get her home and look after her? But it's almost like, oh, that's your responsibility.
And I.
She is such a, she was such a strong woman.
Like you could, like obviously the trauma and where it starts off from, which people don't understand, there's a lot of judgment I felt I've had, and that's.
(06:26):
Why I tend to not judge anyone When I see homeless people, when I see people with drug habits and alcohol and alcoholics, you know.
That's come from something.
No one wakes up and chooses to be a alcoholic.
No one chooses to have an addiction to drugs, you know, that is from a trauma that has not been healed and worked on and supported by their people, who they feel they can rely on, and a safe network and support group.
(06:57):
And it's just so sad.
I've kind of gotten stronger bond and relationship with my sister.
I dunno if it's our ages 'cause she is about 38 and I'm 25.
We went to this women wellness group and it was just really crazy to hear how my mom had affected her, even though she never even lived with her, like I lived with her.
(07:25):
She saw her a few year, few times when she was a lot younger and the stuff she had to say about my mom, she was like, she was so cruel.
She.
It just hurt so many people by those kind of, um, tough words.
She'd say those cruel terms.
Like one night she.
I dunno.
(07:45):
She, uh, we were sleeping in the bed and she just started attacking me and I was there trying to defend myself.
And that's what one of my posts on my TikTok page is relatable to, because then that morning I mentioned, I was like, mom, last night you hit me.
You pulled my hair, you know? And she's like, no, I didn't.
(08:07):
I do, you're my princess and all that.
I was like, how can you not remember? And that is the poison alcohol has on us and drugs like that.
It turns you into the devil.
Like you're a whole different kind of person, and that is just so scary to me.
I don't ever want to drink.
I don't ever want to take drugs.
(08:29):
I don't need drugs, you know, just because I've just found what.
Kind of makes me, me, and I've done, like I'm in therapy and, and I've done reiki and I've just found, even though I've had a lot of pain myself and even as a child, I was kind of told, oh, you are gonna be an alcoholic like your mom.
(08:51):
That was given to me whether I liked it or not, but I was like, you know what? I can also choose two paths.
I can either choose the good path where I get help and I work hard and prove everyone wrong, and with determination and resilience, I will get where I need to be.
Or there's the other path where I don't do that and I choose to cover it with alcohol and drugs and kind of merge it and make it a lot worse.
(09:22):
I know when people have a tough day at work, they'll come home and have a glass of wine.
We're not talking about that.
That's fine.
We are talking about going that little bit further, saying, no, I need this.
You know? What point does addiction become from two glasses of wine to the whole bottle and then that's not enough then that's not enough.
At what point do you consider it an addiction? So that's kind of why I just wanna spread awareness and kind of help as many people as I can.
(09:54):
Even if it's commenting on random people's pages saying, I'm so proud of you.
Because even if it's, you know, day a hundred, or you've, or you've tried to detox.
Stop your addiction from, you know, again and again and again.
(10:15):
It doesn't matter how many times you have to start from day one, it's the point that you are starting again and you're trying to make that difference.
Because if my mom was strong enough to do that as well as many of other people who I've witnessed from my page are, you know, she'd still be here and her whole life would be turned around.
I missed out on so much just because of alcoholism.
(10:38):
And that's what beyond the bottle is about, because alcoholism and addiction is so much more than just a bottle of alcohol itself.
It's the words, it's the not remembering, it's the hitting, it's the, you know, and it's just too much to deal with.
So I just feel like there needs to be so much more awareness and helping support, and less judgment really.
(11:01):
So, yeah, that was amazing.
You have clearly a lot of wisdom around this topic.
It's clear that you've done some work and some healing on it.
Uh, a lot of people who have grown up in active addiction homes carry a lot of that trauma and that illness.
And like you, like you touched on.
(11:22):
It often takes people one of two paths, right? Mm-hmm.
They either go the direction of abstinence or they go the direction of active addiction and the abstinence path can be wonderful if you do go into healing.
Um.
And that can cause, you know, because of those resentments and those things from those traumas which are warranted, you know, there's children of alcoholics and children of people who had addiction, went through horrible, awful things, you know, things that no child should ever have to go through.
(11:55):
And I, I would never minimize that.
You know, but what you've done is, is truly remarkable.
Uh, to heal from that and to turn it around and to then take that and try to spread that awareness and try to spread that compassion to other people is what this is all about.
And it's what Sober town really tries to do as well.
Trying to break that stigma down around addiction.
(12:19):
Like you said, nobody wakes up and says, I wanna spend the rest of my life.
Exactly.
An alcoholic, you know? Yeah.
It's, it's a miserable way to exist.
Um, it, it may look like it's fun on the outside when they're drinking and laughing and, you know, but it's, yeah.
The, the underbelly of active addiction is not fun for anybody involved.
(12:42):
No.
I really appreciate your transparency and, and sharing all of that.
It's an honor to kind of speak out about it really.
Absolutely.
So do you have any experience with Al-Anon, anything like that? Did your family ever try going to anything like that? Are you familiar with Al-Anon? Uh, no, I'm not actually.
(13:05):
Sorry, what is that? Okay, so Al-Anon is, um, it's kind of the Alcoholics Anonymous segment Oh, okay.
For family members that mm-hmm.
You know, grew up children of alcoholics or family of alcoholics.
So it's what I thought of when you kind of started talking about what you're doing with beyond the bottle.
Mm-hmm.
To support the family and friends, uh, of those who kind of grew up in that environment.
(13:30):
The thing I love about what you're doing is, again, there's, there's no defined one way to show up.
There's no program that people have to stick to.
It's just come as you are, who you are, where you are.
I just want to provide support, hear your story, if you wanna share it.
Who, who are you hoping to, to talk to? Who would you like to see come? Come to be on the bottle? I'm happy to speak with anyone, you know, if I can help even one person out of this whole experience, then so be it.
(14:03):
I'd love to kind of take it a bit further and kind of go on nature walks and go on coffee mornings and show people that there's life outside of the bottle.
You know, addiction isn't the only way.
You know, we can go to pottery classes, whatever.
People suggest, I just want it to become a good community and join up with other people like yourself and just, you know, kind of just make a difference really.
(14:34):
'cause we are only here once and you know, my mum lived till 49 and when you think of it, a lot of people do die with addiction.
A lot younger.
It's 49 years.
I've got to now live without seeing her, without seeing my success and my children and you know, get married and all of my kind of life goals and what I make it.
(15:01):
And obviously my dad, like, now he's a widow, you know? And now he's like, what do I do with myself? She was my whole world.
But it, it's just sad because I felt like even though I've had so much to deal with from such a young age, from my mom and all of the kind of danger she put me in.
(15:23):
I've still got amazing people around me who support me and to guide me, especially my dad, like he's my rock.
And it's just like, where would I be if I didn't have that? I think I would also, you know, be challenged a lot more to kind of go down the alcohol and addiction route instead of taking it the highway and being pushed through school.
(15:45):
No matter if I had an hour's sleep or.
You know, whatever happened, I, my dad made it crystal clear, Beth.
You put your uniform on, you go to school, you do your homework, you do anything, you can but become someone like, you know, mom and whoever she hangs around with because mom sober.
(16:08):
Beautiful, kind, generous would give her shirt off her bat to anyone.
Even one time, um, some travelers came, I dunno if that's a political term, but some travelers parked up on a piece of grass near our house and there was, she was like, oh, come on grass.
Um, I'll do your washing.
(16:30):
I came home from school one day and it was like all of this washing all over our garden.
I washing.
So that's literally the type of person, she was just so generous.
Like even if she had lost five pound in her purse, she would give it away sober.
(16:50):
But the devil's side, she was drunk.
That's it.
She needed to find that alcohol.
She needed that fixed.
I remember one time I had 10 pound in my purse from seeing my grandma, um, my dad's mom from um, oh no, you just go around.
She gives you a bit of pocket money, you know? Suddenly my 10 pounds gone.
(17:13):
I walk over, mom, hand it over.
Where is it? And she pulls it from under her pillow.
Sorry, Beth.
I don't know why I've done that.
Because she doesn't know why she done that.
It is the demon.
It is the alcoholism.
It is the addiction that has said to her, I haven't got any money from my bottle of vodka.
(17:34):
I need my bottle of vodka, so I'm gonna steal off my own daughter.
So that's why he decided to get a lock on my door.
And then social Services came around and said, why are you getting a lock on your daughter's door? And I was like, you don't understand.
Protect my staff, like the amount of money that we've lost from trying to protect my Christmas presents and my birthday presents, and things that I've kind of saved up pocket money for, or I've been treated for doing well in the test at school.
(18:05):
It gets stolen.
And that's, that's what it comes down to at the end of the day, is living with someone who is wrestling with.
Active addiction mm-hmm.
Is living in the belly of insanity.
Yeah.
Um, and no child should have to be subjected to that type of environment.
No child should have to be living in a world where you have to have a lock on your door to protect yourself from your own mother's actions.
(18:32):
The other thing that's really interesting about your story, um, and that I think that the listeners are really gonna enjoy is a lot of Sober Town Podcast are stories from the perspective of those of us who have been through active addiction.
And I think it's so beneficial to hear the story from the family members who have been impacted by it.
(18:54):
I think it's really, it's, it's enlightening to hear the effects from the other side because as someone, you know, so alcohol was my drug of choice.
I, I started drinking at a very young age.
I started drinking in my teens.
I was adopted myself.
I do know that my biological mother was an alcoholic.
I don't know much about my birth father.
(19:16):
Um, so I was genetically predisposed for it.
We actually had that knowledge.
But unlike yourself, I was not cautious about that.
I was definitely addicted, physically addicted to alcohol before I could even legally buy it here, and it was my twenties were really ugly.
(19:36):
And, and I actually work.
I started getting into recovery in my late twenties.
Um, stopped drinking throughout my entire thirties, started struggling with it again, uh, in my early forties, and discovered that my addiction had progressed.
Even all that time I hadn't been drinking.
So when I started drinking again.
I was, I went from being mostly a beer drinker in my twenties to suddenly wanting just hard liquor when I started drinking.
(20:03):
Yeah.
Again, and just wanting to get as drunk as possible, as fast as possible.
Mm-hmm.
And, you know, it's, it's just, it speaks to how illogical addiction is.
Mm-hmm.
And.
You know the piece I wanna highlight on that.
Clearly, you and your father were this loving, supportive duo that pushed for your mother's best wishes.
(20:25):
You supported her going into rehab, you supported her going to hospital, you supported her getting all this treatment.
A lot of people in active addiction don't have that kind of support.
Mm-hmm.
And she continued to spin out and do these things anyways.
And I think one of the most frustrating things about addiction is how illogical it is.
(20:46):
And a lot of people struggle to understand that they want to fit addiction into this box that it just doesn't fit into.
Yeah.
Do you have any closing thoughts or what would you, what would you like to leave listeners with? If you had one pearl of wisdom, what would you like to tell your listeners? That's a tough one.
(21:07):
Um, I'd just love to say, you know, you do get hard days.
I appreciate every second in trying to give up.
Whatever your drug or poison of choice is, is very, very difficult.
You get, even if it's hour to hour and you have a good hour, then you have a bad hour.
(21:27):
Just don't give up.
Just don't stop trying because you need to think of the bigger picture.
You know, you were born and you've got one life, like, let's not.
Kind of destroy it as you know, live it to its fullest, find what makes you truly happy.
Get that closure, get that help you need.
(21:51):
Just, just beat the addiction and alcoholism.
Recovery is not perfect in the slightest, but neither is trying, like even in my education.
When I went to uni, which I never even wanted to go to uni, but as soon as my mum passed in March, as soon as it become, uh, April, I was like, that's it.
(22:19):
I need to sign up to go to uni.
I want to go to uni.
You know, I've got one shot at this.
I wanna give it my all.
You know, I want to kind of not stop trying be the best person I can be.
And now the feeling I get when I say and tell everyone I got a first at uni, I was able to walk up with my hat and gown across that.
(22:43):
Stage, shake the mentor or um, speaker's hand and say, you've been awarded a first.
What an achievement.
Considering all of my background and traumas and everything, it does not define you.
You know, they don't know that I had an alcoholic for a mother.
They.
They just knew.
She showed up.
She worked hard.
(23:03):
She didn't stop trying, and that's the message I want to give to everyone else.
It doesn't matter if it's day one, day a thousand day a hundred.
And if you have to restart, just think of that goal and that mission and just keep trying.
I love it.
That's fabulous.
All right folks.
We can find, uh, beyond the bottle on TikTok at underscore beyond the bottle.
(23:30):
We will also link to that in the description of this podcast.
Beth, thank you so much for joining me today.
It has been an absolute pleasure.
It's, your story is remarkable.
You have been through so much.
You're a brilliant young lady.
Uh, absolutely inspirational.
I think your site is going to do wonderful.
You're gonna touch a lot of lives, um, and we will definitely, uh, be in touch and, uh, help the listeners get in touch with you going forward.
(23:59):
Thank you so much for having me.
It's been an absolute honor and I wish you all the best.
Sober listeners, thank you for joining us.
We'll talk to you again soon.
Hello, sober town listeners.
Welcome to another episode of Sober Town Podcast.
I'm your host Michael, also known as MMC 13 on the I Am Sober app.
If you're new to Sober Town, welcome, please take a look around.
We offer so much more than just podcasts@sobertownpodcast.com.
There are tools, resources, links for support schedules, for online meetings, and ways to get connected.
(00:26):
I hope to see you around.
My guest today is Beth.
Beth is the founder of Beyond the Bottle, TikTok, whose mission it is to provide a safe, supportive space for the families and friends of those affected by alcoholism.
Through open conversation, peer support, and shared experiences, they aim to reduce isolation, promote healing, and help individuals find strength in community.
(00:52):
Beth, welcome to the show.
Thanks so much for joining me today.
Hi.
Thank you for having me.
It means an awful lot.
It's a pleasure.
Where are you coming to us from today? I'm coming from London today.
Excellent.
Across the pond.
So tell us a little bit about Beyond the Bottle.
(01:14):
So it's a fairly new page.
I started it, uh, let's say a few months ago.
Um, it hasn't had an awful lot of activity just because I'm trying to kind of build on it and think about where I want it to go, and, but even doing what I've done so far, I've feel like I've.
Kind of reached out to so many amazing people who have, you know, been in addiction and in their recovery.
(01:37):
And even if it's kind of day one or day a hundred or day thousand of their recovery, it's just so beautiful to see their journey and how hard they've all worked.
Just because from a personal point of view, which is where my page started, was my mum was a alcoholic, um, and she died.
(01:58):
2019.
But she started drinking when she was 17 just because, you know, she kind of got abused and her family didn't really support her and back her and believe her.
And when something like that happens, you either have one, like two roads, you either go, oh my God, how do I deal with this? Alcohol, drugs, you know, try and blur it out.
(02:27):
But then you go to the other side, which is no, I find support.
I find nature, I find God, I find, you know, all the healthier ways to deal with the trauma.
Which was quite sad even though, you know, a few late years down the line, she had myself and my dad, who's been a very strong character.
For her, it just wasn't really enough, if that makes sense.
(02:50):
Like we've always been so supportive.
We took her to the alcohol anonymous meetings, the amount of rehab she went through, absolutely crazy.
The amount of times.
Detoxes and time she was in hospital, but then by the end of it, she just became a kind of shell of her person.
She became bedbound.
(03:11):
She needed nappies at.
Like when I was first born, I remember if I even had a crumb in the house and she would go crazy at me and all of a sudden she was so delirious of the mess she was making and the state of the house and.
(03:32):
It was just like, oh my God, you're just a completely different person.
And it's just crazy to think about how addiction and alcoholism gets you to that point.
If you don't offer the, and accept the help.
It is a very hard road, you know, to accept you have an issue and things like that.
(03:53):
It's just if she was more on board with getting help and the support, you know, and trying to kind of talk to other people and.
Become part of the community where recovery is actually a thing and it can kind of change your life because at the end of the day, you are choosing one thing over everything else you have in life.
(04:16):
And that's your family, your friends, your children.
Like my mom would still be here.
She'd see me get married and have children and you know, drive my first car and finish in university and all of the amazing things I've achieved since she's passed.
But I feel like she is looking down on me, but obviously it would've been nice if she was here in the present moment.
(04:40):
This is, it's taken my life until now, but I'm ready to make a change.
I'm not choosing alcohol anymore.
You know, I'm, I'm choosing to live my life.
It's not gonna own me.
And also what I want to add to that is how many other people.
Uh, addiction to alcohol kind of affected it because obviously my dad and my mom's relationship was very kind of hotheaded.
(05:10):
Let's say.
There was some few moments where the police were called out, and obviously that troubled my schooling because, you know, I'd not be able to sleep because there'd be parties going on, and then teachers would get involved saying, Beth, are you okay? Like the amount of people that kind of decided to not be my friends or their parents would pull 'em away from me just because.
(05:36):
Because of who my mom was and the amount of relationships and friendships that were tarnished because of this is just crazy.
And like even growing up, the amount of people that were kind of friends with her for the wrong reasons is like good time.
Louise almost.
And yet.
As soon as her money run out.
(05:58):
That was it.
It was like, oh, Beth, she's ready to go home now.
And I was like, but she was sober before she came to you.
Now she's paralytic like, she's five eight.
I am a child.
How on earth do you expect me to get her home and look after her? But it's almost like, oh, that's your responsibility.
And I.
She is such a, she was such a strong woman.
Like you could, like obviously the trauma and where it starts off from, which people don't understand, there's a lot of judgment I felt I've had, and that's.
(06:26):
Why I tend to not judge anyone When I see homeless people, when I see people with drug habits and alcohol and alcoholics, you know.
That's come from something.
No one wakes up and chooses to be a alcoholic.
No one chooses to have an addiction to drugs, you know, that is from a trauma that has not been healed and worked on and supported by their people, who they feel they can rely on, and a safe network and support group.
(06:57):
And it's just so sad.
I've kind of gotten stronger bond and relationship with my sister.
I dunno if it's our ages 'cause she is about 38 and I'm 25.
We went to this women wellness group and it was just really crazy to hear how my mom had affected her, even though she never even lived with her, like I lived with her.
(07:25):
She saw her a few year, few times when she was a lot younger and the stuff she had to say about my mom, she was like, she was so cruel.
She.
It just hurt so many people by those kind of, um, tough words.
She'd say those cruel terms.
Like one night she.
I dunno.
(07:45):
She, uh, we were sleeping in the bed and she just started attacking me and I was there trying to defend myself.
And that's what one of my posts on my TikTok page is relatable to, because then that morning I mentioned, I was like, mom, last night you hit me.
You pulled my hair, you know? And she's like, no, I didn't.
(08:07):
I do, you're my princess and all that.
I was like, how can you not remember? And that is the poison alcohol has on us and drugs like that.
It turns you into the devil.
Like you're a whole different kind of person, and that is just so scary to me.
I don't ever want to drink.
I don't ever want to take drugs.
(08:29):
I don't need drugs, you know, just because I've just found what.
Kind of makes me, me, and I've done, like I'm in therapy and, and I've done reiki and I've just found, even though I've had a lot of pain myself and even as a child, I was kind of told, oh, you are gonna be an alcoholic like your mom.
(08:51):
That was given to me whether I liked it or not, but I was like, you know what? I can also choose two paths.
I can either choose the good path where I get help and I work hard and prove everyone wrong, and with determination and resilience, I will get where I need to be.
Or there's the other path where I don't do that and I choose to cover it with alcohol and drugs and kind of merge it and make it a lot worse.
(09:22):
I know when people have a tough day at work, they'll come home and have a glass of wine.
We're not talking about that.
That's fine.
We are talking about going that little bit further, saying, no, I need this.
You know? What point does addiction become from two glasses of wine to the whole bottle and then that's not enough then that's not enough.
At what point do you consider it an addiction? So that's kind of why I just wanna spread awareness and kind of help as many people as I can.
(09:54):
Even if it's commenting on random people's pages saying, I'm so proud of you.
Because even if it's, you know, day a hundred, or you've, or you've tried to detox.
Stop your addiction from, you know, again and again and again.
(10:15):
It doesn't matter how many times you have to start from day one, it's the point that you are starting again and you're trying to make that difference.
Because if my mom was strong enough to do that as well as many of other people who I've witnessed from my page are, you know, she'd still be here and her whole life would be turned around.
I missed out on so much just because of alcoholism.
(10:38):
And that's what beyond the bottle is about, because alcoholism and addiction is so much more than just a bottle of alcohol itself.
It's the words, it's the not remembering, it's the hitting, it's the, you know, and it's just too much to deal with.
So I just feel like there needs to be so much more awareness and helping support, and less judgment really.
(11:01):
So, yeah, that was amazing.
You have clearly a lot of wisdom around this topic.
It's clear that you've done some work and some healing on it.
Uh, a lot of people who have grown up in active addiction homes carry a lot of that trauma and that illness.
And like you, like you touched on.
(11:22):
It often takes people one of two paths, right? Mm-hmm.
They either go the direction of abstinence or they go the direction of active addiction and the abstinence path can be wonderful if you do go into healing.
Um.
And that can cause, you know, because of those resentments and those things from those traumas which are warranted, you know, there's children of alcoholics and children of people who had addiction, went through horrible, awful things, you know, things that no child should ever have to go through.
(11:55):
And I, I would never minimize that.
You know, but what you've done is, is truly remarkable.
Uh, to heal from that and to turn it around and to then take that and try to spread that awareness and try to spread that compassion to other people is what this is all about.
And it's what Sober town really tries to do as well.
Trying to break that stigma down around addiction.
(12:19):
Like you said, nobody wakes up and says, I wanna spend the rest of my life.
Exactly.
An alcoholic, you know? Yeah.
It's, it's a miserable way to exist.
Um, it, it may look like it's fun on the outside when they're drinking and laughing and, you know, but it's, yeah.
The, the underbelly of active addiction is not fun for anybody involved.
(12:42):
No.
I really appreciate your transparency and, and sharing all of that.
It's an honor to kind of speak out about it really.
Absolutely.
So do you have any experience with Al-Anon, anything like that? Did your family ever try going to anything like that? Are you familiar with Al-Anon? Uh, no, I'm not actually.
(13:05):
Sorry, what is that? Okay, so Al-Anon is, um, it's kind of the Alcoholics Anonymous segment Oh, okay.
For family members that mm-hmm.
You know, grew up children of alcoholics or family of alcoholics.
So it's what I thought of when you kind of started talking about what you're doing with beyond the bottle.
Mm-hmm.
To support the family and friends, uh, of those who kind of grew up in that environment.
(13:30):
The thing I love about what you're doing is, again, there's, there's no defined one way to show up.
There's no program that people have to stick to.
It's just come as you are, who you are, where you are.
I just want to provide support, hear your story, if you wanna share it.
Who, who are you hoping to, to talk to? Who would you like to see come? Come to be on the bottle? I'm happy to speak with anyone, you know, if I can help even one person out of this whole experience, then so be it.
(14:03):
I'd love to kind of take it a bit further and kind of go on nature walks and go on coffee mornings and show people that there's life outside of the bottle.
You know, addiction isn't the only way.
You know, we can go to pottery classes, whatever.
People suggest, I just want it to become a good community and join up with other people like yourself and just, you know, kind of just make a difference really.
(14:34):
'cause we are only here once and you know, my mum lived till 49 and when you think of it, a lot of people do die with addiction.
A lot younger.
It's 49 years.
I've got to now live without seeing her, without seeing my success and my children and you know, get married and all of my kind of life goals and what I make it.
(15:01):
And obviously my dad, like, now he's a widow, you know? And now he's like, what do I do with myself? She was my whole world.
But it, it's just sad because I felt like even though I've had so much to deal with from such a young age, from my mom and all of the kind of danger she put me in.
(15:23):
I've still got amazing people around me who support me and to guide me, especially my dad, like he's my rock.
And it's just like, where would I be if I didn't have that? I think I would also, you know, be challenged a lot more to kind of go down the alcohol and addiction route instead of taking it the highway and being pushed through school.
(15:45):
No matter if I had an hour's sleep or.
You know, whatever happened, I, my dad made it crystal clear, Beth.
You put your uniform on, you go to school, you do your homework, you do anything, you can but become someone like, you know, mom and whoever she hangs around with because mom sober.
(16:08):
Beautiful, kind, generous would give her shirt off her bat to anyone.
Even one time, um, some travelers came, I dunno if that's a political term, but some travelers parked up on a piece of grass near our house and there was, she was like, oh, come on grass.
Um, I'll do your washing.
(16:30):
I came home from school one day and it was like all of this washing all over our garden.
I washing.
So that's literally the type of person, she was just so generous.
Like even if she had lost five pound in her purse, she would give it away sober.
(16:50):
But the devil's side, she was drunk.
That's it.
She needed to find that alcohol.
She needed that fixed.
I remember one time I had 10 pound in my purse from seeing my grandma, um, my dad's mom from um, oh no, you just go around.
She gives you a bit of pocket money, you know? Suddenly my 10 pounds gone.
(17:13):
I walk over, mom, hand it over.
Where is it? And she pulls it from under her pillow.
Sorry, Beth.
I don't know why I've done that.
Because she doesn't know why she done that.
It is the demon.
It is the alcoholism.
It is the addiction that has said to her, I haven't got any money from my bottle of vodka.
(17:34):
I need my bottle of vodka, so I'm gonna steal off my own daughter.
So that's why he decided to get a lock on my door.
And then social Services came around and said, why are you getting a lock on your daughter's door? And I was like, you don't understand.
Protect my staff, like the amount of money that we've lost from trying to protect my Christmas presents and my birthday presents, and things that I've kind of saved up pocket money for, or I've been treated for doing well in the test at school.
(18:05):
It gets stolen.
And that's, that's what it comes down to at the end of the day, is living with someone who is wrestling with.
Active addiction mm-hmm.
Is living in the belly of insanity.
Yeah.
Um, and no child should have to be subjected to that type of environment.
No child should have to be living in a world where you have to have a lock on your door to protect yourself from your own mother's actions.
(18:32):
The other thing that's really interesting about your story, um, and that I think that the listeners are really gonna enjoy is a lot of Sober Town Podcast are stories from the perspective of those of us who have been through active addiction.
And I think it's so beneficial to hear the story from the family members who have been impacted by it.
(18:54):
I think it's really, it's, it's enlightening to hear the effects from the other side because as someone, you know, so alcohol was my drug of choice.
I, I started drinking at a very young age.
I started drinking in my teens.
I was adopted myself.
I do know that my biological mother was an alcoholic.
I don't know much about my birth father.
(19:16):
Um, so I was genetically predisposed for it.
We actually had that knowledge.
But unlike yourself, I was not cautious about that.
I was definitely addicted, physically addicted to alcohol before I could even legally buy it here, and it was my twenties were really ugly.
(19:36):
And, and I actually work.
I started getting into recovery in my late twenties.
Um, stopped drinking throughout my entire thirties, started struggling with it again, uh, in my early forties, and discovered that my addiction had progressed.
Even all that time I hadn't been drinking.
So when I started drinking again.
I was, I went from being mostly a beer drinker in my twenties to suddenly wanting just hard liquor when I started drinking.
(20:03):
Yeah.
Again, and just wanting to get as drunk as possible, as fast as possible.
Mm-hmm.
And, you know, it's, it's just, it speaks to how illogical addiction is.
Mm-hmm.
And.
You know the piece I wanna highlight on that.
Clearly, you and your father were this loving, supportive duo that pushed for your mother's best wishes.
(20:25):
You supported her going into rehab, you supported her going to hospital, you supported her getting all this treatment.
A lot of people in active addiction don't have that kind of support.
Mm-hmm.
And she continued to spin out and do these things anyways.
And I think one of the most frustrating things about addiction is how illogical it is.
(20:46):
And a lot of people struggle to understand that they want to fit addiction into this box that it just doesn't fit into.
Yeah.
Do you have any closing thoughts or what would you, what would you like to leave listeners with? If you had one pearl of wisdom, what would you like to tell your listeners? That's a tough one.
(21:07):
Um, I'd just love to say, you know, you do get hard days.
I appreciate every second in trying to give up.
Whatever your drug or poison of choice is, is very, very difficult.
You get, even if it's hour to hour and you have a good hour, then you have a bad hour.
(21:27):
Just don't give up.
Just don't stop trying because you need to think of the bigger picture.
You know, you were born and you've got one life, like, let's not.
Kind of destroy it as you know, live it to its fullest, find what makes you truly happy.
Get that closure, get that help you need.
(21:51):
Just, just beat the addiction and alcoholism.
Recovery is not perfect in the slightest, but neither is trying, like even in my education.
When I went to uni, which I never even wanted to go to uni, but as soon as my mum passed in March, as soon as it become, uh, April, I was like, that's it.
(22:19):
I need to sign up to go to uni.
I want to go to uni.
You know, I've got one shot at this.
I wanna give it my all.
You know, I want to kind of not stop trying be the best person I can be.
And now the feeling I get when I say and tell everyone I got a first at uni, I was able to walk up with my hat and gown across that.
(22:43):
Stage, shake the mentor or um, speaker's hand and say, you've been awarded a first.
What an achievement.
Considering all of my background and traumas and everything, it does not define you.
You know, they don't know that I had an alcoholic for a mother.
They.
They just knew.
She showed up.
She worked hard.
(23:03):
She didn't stop trying, and that's the message I want to give to everyone else.
It doesn't matter if it's day one, day a thousand day a hundred.
And if you have to restart, just think of that goal and that mission and just keep trying.
I love it.
That's fabulous.
All right folks.
We can find, uh, beyond the bottle on TikTok at underscore beyond the bottle.
(23:30):
We will also link to that in the description of this podcast.
Beth, thank you so much for joining me today.
It has been an absolute pleasure.
It's, your story is remarkable.
You have been through so much.
You're a brilliant young lady.
Uh, absolutely inspirational.
I think your site is going to do wonderful.
You're gonna touch a lot of lives, um, and we will definitely, uh, be in touch and, uh, help the listeners get in touch with you going forward.
(23:59):
Thank you so much for having me.
It's been an absolute honor and I wish you all the best.
Sober listeners, thank you for joining us.
We'll talk to you again soon.
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