My Son Is Not Here

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Grief often speaks in simple, powerful truths like "My son is still not here" - words that capture the relentless reality of loss that remains despite our healing efforts. Explore how we can live with these painful realities while still finding connection to God and our loved ones.

• Finding prayer in the darkness through simple pleas
• Acknowledging the difficulty of waiting for God's help 
• Remembering and documenting moments of love as a key to healing
• Reflecting on Meister Eckhart's poem about separation and reunion
• Understanding that our loved ones' essence waits in God's presence

Remember I'm always available for spiritual direction by Zoom to those who are grieving. Listen every Friday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Amazon Music for spiritual direction, art, and workshops shared through Santa Clara University, https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/344943-spiritual-accompaniment

You can reach us at: [e-mail].
SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE

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Music and sound effects today by:   via Pixabay

Episode Transcript

Candee (00:19):
I welcome you to Solace: Soul + Grief.
My name's Candee Lucas and I'ma grief chaplain.
I accompany those who aregrieving any kind of loss and I
ask that you let me accompanyyou today.
You're always welcome in thiscircle of healing, love and

(00:39):
support.
Remember, we are all on thisjourney together.

(01:01):
My son is still not here.
That's what the woman acrossfrom me said when I attended a
recent session.
I've been thinking about whatshe said ever since.

(01:25):
Many of us, including myself,work very hard to try to attend
to the grief of others, hopingthat our experiences may be of
some assistance.
Then a voice cries out in veryreal pain --"but my son is still
gone.
But my son is still gone.

(01:49):
How can we live with thesecruel realities?
How can our God attend us andhow can we continue to believe
in his love and care In the faceof unimaginable pain?

(02:13):
First we do it with prayer,maybe in the darkness of the
night, in the darkness of ourown soul, when all we can do is
remember our tears and ourlonging and our pain.
But that tiny prayer comesthrough, please.

(02:34):
And if we were to extend it,please help me.
And if we were to extend itfurther, please help me, god.
The next part is the mostdifficult waiting for that help,

(02:55):
because we know we know in thedaytime that God works on his
own timeline, not ours.
We don't know how soon thathelp may come.

(03:17):
It might be true that thewaiting itself is the cause of
our pain, because while we wait,while we wait to see and
experience God's love once again, we wait in our pain and it

(03:38):
seems we wait there alone.
It is difficult to see in thedarkness what might be just
beyond the shadows.
It is difficult in those darkdays to remember the love of our
person now missing, the lovethey created in their life, the

(04:03):
love they created with us, andthe love they created with God.
Yet remembering this love isthe key.
It's worthwhile to remember andmaybe write down certain days
or times or occurrences oroccasions when that love between

(04:30):
you and your missing loved onemost acutely represented on a
holiday, a birthday, a specialoccasion, or maybe on a quiet
day where you sat together in aroom and didn't speak but knew
the love that surrounded you.

(04:51):
Write that down, then think ofanother day, another time when
you said it to each other, whenyou said those words --I love
you-- and remember what it feltlike to be able to express that
to a person you hold most dear.

(05:30):
Meister Eckhart, who livedbetween 1260 and 1328, is one of
history's great mystics.
His religious writings were soeloquent that they helped evolve
the German language.
He was a Catholic monk andscholar who often presented his
faith and spiritualunderstandings in sermons of

(05:52):
stunning clarity, and he offersthe following, entitled when; "I
Was the Forest"- when I was thestream, when I was the forest,
when I was still the field, whenI was every hoof, foot, fin and

(06:15):
wing, when I was the sky itself, no one ever asked me did I
have a purpose?
No one ever wondered was thereanything I might need?
For there was nothing I couldnot love.
It was when I left all we oncewere, that agony began.

(06:38):
The fear and questions came andI wept.
I wept; and tears I had neverknown before.
So I returned to the river.
I returned to the river.
I returned to the mountains.
I asked for their hand inmarriage.
Again, I begged.

(06:59):
I begged to wed every objectand creature.
And when they accepted, God wasever present in my arms and he
did not say where have you been?
For then I knew my soul, everysky, the stream, the forest,

(07:48):
where the essence of you waitsin the presence of God for your
reunion.
That concludes this week'sepisode.

(08:09):
You can find us on Apple,Spotify or Amazon.
Feel free to send any questionsyou might have about grieving
to my email.
In the show notes I'll try toanswer any questions you have.
Remember I'm always availablefor spiritual direction by Zoom

(08:33):
to those who are grieving.
Please reach out to me if youhave this need.
Be safe.
Travel with God always at yourside.
Vaya con Dios.