Words Fail, Music Speaks

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Music creates a powerful pathway through grief, offering comfort and expression when words fall short. Ben Kweller, a singer-songwriter who lost his 16-year-old son Dorian in a tragic car accident, channeled his grief into creating the album "Cover the Mirrors," demonstrating how art can become a healing force.

• The "Impolitic" podcast with John Heileman features a poignant interview with Ben Kweller about his grief journey                                                                      •  Kweller wrote many songs in a grief "fog," a state many grievers may recognize
• Music can connect us to memories and validate our feelings of loss
• Personal grief experiences can be supported by exposure to meaningful music
• Apple Music offers a curated 'Grief' playlist with 111 songs spanning more than six hours
• Music serves as a channel through which God can speak to us and call us to open our hearts for healing

Listen every Friday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Amazon Music for spiritual direction, art, and workshops shared through Santa Clara University, https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/344943-spiritual-accompaniment

You can reach us at: [e-mail].
SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE

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https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6

Music and sound effects today by:   via Pixabay

Episode Transcript

Candee (00:38):
Welcome to Solace
I'm glad you're here with metoday.
My name is Candee Lucas and Iam a Jesuit-trained grief
chaplain and spiritual director.
When we started this ministrywe wanted to create a space for
those who are struggling withloss, whatever kind.

(01:01):
The death of a loved one is anenormous physical, spiritual,
emotional and psychologicalshift.
I created this library forthose struggling with a
particular grief issue or justwishing gentle accompaniment.

(01:21):
You're always welcome in ourcircle of healing, love and
support.
I always try to keep a lookouton things happening in grief

world (01:42):
.
Other podcasts, articles, books, magazines, movies and
sometimes music.
In the past we've talked aboutmusic a little, but I recently

(02:15):
heard by John Heileman Heilman,who has a weekly podcast called
"Impolitic Impolitic, about thesinger-songwriter Ben Queller.
I'll leave more specificdirections on how to find this
podcast, if you'd like, in theshow notes.
Mr Keller has been asinger-songwriter for many years
and a few years ago he lost his16-year-old son in a car
accident that was horriblyunique.

(02:38):
Truck crossed the center laneand he swerved to miss the truck
and a branch came through andkilled him instantly.
This was Mr Queller's eldestchild and his name was Dorian Mr

(03:08):
Queller and his name was Dorian.
Mr Queller makes his living asa singer-songwriter, and so it
won't be any surprise to learnthat he found his way through
his own grief, writing songsabout both the experience of
losing Dorian, the experience oflosing Dorian, the experience
of grieving Dorian, as well asthe experience of healing that

(03:39):
loss.
In the podcast he talks aboutwriting many of these songs in a
fog.
I thought this was interestingbecause many of us who have been
through deep grief know exactlywhat that feels like.
We carry on rather on automaticpilot, but we don't really

(04:04):
realize what's happening, how itmay affect us in the future.
It all seems caught up andballed up in that grief moment
of many feelings loss and angerand need and isolation and

(04:27):
sorrow that we can't reallybegin to untangle the feelings
at the time.
So I urge you to listen to MrQueller's album called "Cover
the Mirrors, especially to thesong he wrote about his son,
dorian, and his acknowledgementthat they will be again someday.

(04:53):
That's the uplifting part ofthis entire conversation, and so
as I listened to parts of thealbum, they really ring true as
to grief, and I wanted toaddress how music can help us.

(05:14):
When my own father died.
My son had created a renderingof the old Irish song A Parting
Glass, and so I went to thetrusty internets and downloaded
about 17 versions of A PartingGlass.

(05:35):
I would listen to them over andover first thing in the morning
right after he died, and itgave me comfort that we sat by
his grave and played my son'sversion of that song.
So my point in bringing MrQueller is twofold One, how he

(06:00):
was able to work through hisgrief, doing what he does best,
using his God-given gifts tocreate art and to create a space
for him to grieve.
And the interview with MrHeilman is poignant in many ways

(06:24):
as he talks quite openly abouthis grief.
So I do recommend it.
On a further note, I wentexploring this music and grief
idea knowing how there were manytimes there were certain songs

(06:46):
that gave me just a sense of myown loss, that kind of
underlined that --yes, thosefeelings are real, yes, other
people have had them and yes, wecan all get through them,
sometimes together, sometimesapart.
And I came upon in Apple Musica grief playlist.

(07:15):
I think you can find it if youhave Apple Music, if you just
put "grief in and what you getis a playlist with 111 songs
that goes on for six hours.
So I've been listening to theplaylist since I discovered it

(07:38):
and there are many artists onthere and songs I've never heard
of, as well as some that youhave, and I found it useful to
just let it run in thebackground.
Every now and then I'd hear asong that just touched me
completely, spoke to my ownfeelings of loss and healing and

(08:02):
love, and some I recognized.
Some familiar songs gave me anew outlook.
So I urge you to explore boththese things the Apple Grief

(08:26):
Playlist and the Ben Quellerinterview with John Heilman on
his podcast Impolitic.
Sometimes we can find our wayback through music.
It conjures up memories andsounds and furies and

(08:51):
conversations, ordinary days andordinary times and special
occasions simply be the musicthat was played at the funeral

(09:12):
or at the memorial, whatever itwas, whatever it is, it's
another channel through whichGod speaks to us, calls us,
calls us to open our hearts forhealing, calls to be with us as
we open our hearts to him and heopens his heart to us and we

(09:38):
embrace there and learn to heal.
That concludes another episode.
A new one drops every Friday.

(09:59):
You can find us on Amazon Music, Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
Remember to be gentle withyourself.
Always travel with God.
Vaya con Dios.