March 4, 2025 • 45 mins
Are you dreaming of taking a solo trip but feeling apprehensive? Join me as we delve into the inspiring journey of Leigh Barborek, who bravely faced her fears to travel solo to New Zealand for the very first time. From grappling with feelings of guilt and safety concerns to thrilling adventures and newfound independence, Leigh shares her heartfelt experiences and lessons learned.
In this episode, we explore the emotional journey leading up to solo travel, including decision-making, planning, and the anticipation of exploring a beautiful new destination. Discover the poignant moments that illuminated Leigh's path, such as her daring kayaking excursion to Donut Island, where she embraced both excitement and uncertainty, ultimately transforming her canvas of fear into a masterpiece of adventure.
With Leigh’s stories and insights, you'll see that solo travel is not just about exploring new places—it's about rediscovering your strengths, navigating the unknown with confidence, and realizing that you are capable of so much more than you imagined.
Whether you're a seasoned traveler or contemplating your first journey alone, there’s something to learn from Leigh's courage. Tune in to feel empowered, inspired, and ready to book your next adventure. Don't forget to subscribe, share this episode, and leave a review—let's encourage more voices to embrace their solo travel dreams!
Want to know how solo travel could change your outlook on life? Book a call with me for one-on-one coaching for solo travel if you want guidance in planning your next solo adventure!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Are you someone who's been sitting on the sidelines
watching other people go onthese solo adventures, these
trips, wishing you could go butnot mustering the courage?
Or maybe you just have somefear that's holding you back
from doing it?
Well, I have a great exampletoday with my guest.
She is also a listener of thisshow, just like you, who took
(00:23):
her first solo tripinternationally very recently
and is here to share what it waslike, what her feelings were
before, how she feels now, aftershe's actually taken that trip.
Join the conversation I'mhaving with Leigh Barborek today
and I am sure I can guaranteeyou will be just inspired to go
(00:46):
ahead and book that first tripof your own.
Well, folks, I have an amazingguest today.
I have Leigh Barboric.
She is a longtime listener ofthe show, but she is going to
share how she took her veryfirst solo trip, and even she
did an international one, whichis even more exciting to hear
(01:07):
about because that is a big leapof faith to take that if you've
never gone solo travel before.
So, Leigh, I'm so glad you'rehere and I would love to
actually hear kind of an originstory of really what made you
desire to take a solo trip.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Well, first of all, thank you for having me.
I love your show, so this isreally neat to actually be a
guest on it.
Yes, well, I mean, I alwayswanted to take a trip by myself.
I don't really know why, otherthan there's not always somebody
(01:48):
to go with you, you know.
And so I just felt like I wish Iwas brave enough, you know,
because I would see other peopledoing it and I guess I would go
to you know all the bad thingsthat could happen and that would
sort of scare me away, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Well, let's talk about those bad feelings, cause
I know that's you're not alonein that.
A lot of people, I thinksometimes that's what prevents
them from actually going on asolo trip.
But you somehow were able toovercome those, uh, those bad
ideas or feelings that you werehaving.
What were some of them that youhad to overcome?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Well, you know, just feeling like you don't have
somebody with you is are yougoing to be safe?
You know how's it going to beeating out at a restaurant by
yourself, and you know going tosomewhere that you've never been
before.
Is that somewhere?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
that you've never been before is that?
Is it going to be like youthink it is?
You know, right?
Yeah, we all have thesebuilt-up expectations, a lot of
you know, when we travel or anykind of event.
And well, just just out ofcuriosity, did your expectations
, did they get met by goingwhere you went?
They?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
did get met.
I think what I mean by that isyou watch it.
Like one way that I get readyto go somewhere is I'll watch
YouTube videos, and sometimesthose can be deceiving.
So I was worried that I wouldchoose an area and then I would
get there and you know, youspend all this money and you
make all these plans and you getyour time off work, and then
(03:28):
you get there and it's not whatyou thought it was going to be,
you know.
So I think I had a fear of that,for sure, okay even though
where I ended up going is wellknown to be very beautiful, it's
still's.
It's a big place and there'slots of places to choose from
once you get there.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
So I was scared.
I would, you know, pick thewrong place.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Well, how did you decide where to go, and then you
can share.
Tell everybody where you went.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
First of all, I went to New Zealand and the you know
I think a lot of people want togo to New Zealand.
You know it sounds kind ofexotic and you know we know
there's beaches there andmountains there and just
beautiful scenery and landscapeand you know lots of movies are
filmed there and so people havean expectation of what what it's
(04:20):
going to be like you know,expectation of what.
What it's going to be like youknow.
And so everyone I mean a lot ofpeople want to go there, and I
am signed up to these websitesthat will send you alerts when
(04:40):
there are cheap airfares youknow to know what I'm talking
about.
So one day I happened to get analert that there was one to New
Zealand and I thought, wow, youknow it was a really good deal.
And you know I mulled it overand I went and talked to my
husband about it and just reallyfor the two of us to go, and he
(05:02):
said I don't really think I canget off work then.
And so I thought, okay, wellthen this will be my chance to
go by myself somewhere.
So I presented that idea to him.
He was not super on board atfirst, not 100% against it, but
also not real excited about thatidea.
(05:22):
But you know I did someconvincing and, you know,
presented why I thought thiswould be a good trip to go on
solo and finally he was on boardwith it and I took the plunge
and booked the trip.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
That's amazing.
Yes, as often we will get youknow pushback from family
members or friends about eventaking a solo trip, so I love
how you presented your case tohim.
Basically, I mean like that'samazing.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Well, I have.
I have a job that can sometimesput me in danger and I I
brought that up to him and Isaid you know, I do this every
day.
You never really, you know, sayanything about it.
I think sometimes my job canput me in more danger than
flying to New Zealand by myself.
So you know, that's whatfinally convinced him to to let
(06:18):
me try this.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
There you go.
Yes, and um, you booked yourlong.
Were you gone and where?
Tell us a little bit more aboutwhat you did when you were
there.
I guess you know.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Well, I will say that I put off the planning of the
trip.
You know, I booked the airfare.
When I finally decided to takethe leap, I booked the airfare
and then I just sort of put theplanning on the back burner,
cause, you know, life gets inthe way.
I have two kids, I have a joband I almost sort of I won't say
I was in denial about it comingup, but it wasn't in the front
(06:58):
of my mind, you know.
And so finally I realized, youknow, I'm leaving in a month and
a half and I still have noaccommodations.
So that's when I really started, you know, watching videos.
I do this thing when I'm tripplanning that in the morning,
when I'm getting ready for work,I'll put a YouTube video on of
the place that I'm going to.
(07:18):
You know, I'll find one thatthat looks, you know, like it
might be informative and I'llwatch that while I'm getting
ready.
And I found this place calledCathedral Cove and it sounded
really neat.
Really neat place and somepeople may know it from.
There was a scene from theChronicles of Narnia where
(07:38):
Cathedral the kids get sort ofdropped off into Cathedral Cove
and they start playing on thebeach.
That's where that is.
Oh see, I didn't even know thatand it just looked really neat.
And so I was like, well, whereis that?
And it happened to be in theNorth Island and I was like, oh,
ok, I'll try to find that.
(08:00):
So the trip started beingplanned around Cathedral Cove
and it's actually located in aplace called the Coromandel
Peninsula, which is in thenortheastern part of the North
Island of New Zealand andthere's so much to do around
there.
I thought you know what?
I'm going to have a rental car.
They drive on the opposite sideof the road up there.
I'm not real, you know, excitedabout driving a lot.
(08:23):
So I thought I'm just going toget to my destination and sort
of stay in that area, becausethere's enough to do on the
Coromandel Peninsula to keep methere the whole time.
And I thought I'll come back toNew Zealand another time and
explore the South Island with myhusband, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Great plan.
Well, and, and most of theplaces I'm sure other people
that travel a lot can attestlike, when you go somewhere, you
go to a country, you get to seesuch a little slice of it and
there's so much to see, nomatter where you go, honestly,
and you can't see it all, and soI love the attitude of like
I'll have to just come back,right, so there's just give me
the reason to come back, exactlySomething to look forward to.
(09:07):
So I love how you know, you,you play, I done the same thing
you book your flight and thenfigure everything out kind of
after that.
And I had that as actually aquestion.
Somebody had asked you know,how do you do that?
And well, that's how I start,the same way, you know, I booked
the airline because usually I'mthe same way I'm looking for a
deal.
(09:28):
And I'm sure, when you foundthat deal, I did see a lot of
New Zealand deals going around,so I understand, I know why you
did it and kind of that'samazing that you took that leap
Before you went.
Though what were some of thefeelings that you were having
before you went?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Well, I had a few different feelings.
You know one I had a little bitof guilt about taking the trip
and sort of the financial aspectof it, because you know you're
spending money on this trip.
Even though I got a great deal,I still had to pay for
accommodations, I still had topay for food and you know
(10:11):
whatever, you know expendituresyou have on the trip.
And we had just had to buy anew car because, you know, my
husband and I drive cars untilthey're done, you know, know,
and both of us had cars thatneither one would you know would
be reliable for an out of towntrip.
So we just purchased a new carand I thought, oh, I don't
(10:34):
really need to spend this money.
And so I did have a little bitof guilt.
And in the back of my mind too,it was that I could cancel that
ticket and I could cancel myaccommodations.
Because whenever I bookanything and this is a good tip
for your listeners make sure youcan cancel, you know, up to the
(10:55):
last minute, because you justdon't ever know what's going to
happen.
But I had that in the back ofmy mind too.
You know I could cancel.
I I had that in the back of mymind too, you know I could
cancel.
And but I also had in my mindwell, I've told people, I'm
going on this trip and I youknow, I can't bear to say, I
(11:17):
decided not to go you know thatwould be disappointing
disappointing for you and maybeothers right.
Exactly so I and I wanted to goso so you know I've tried to
fight through that and justifyand work a few extra hours you
know, yeah, some spending money.
And then I also felt, I feltvery anxious about driving on
(11:41):
the opposite side of the road.
You know, it's so againsteverything you've ever done,
especially when you're over 50.
You know, I'm 54.
I've been driving a car for along time.
So, to think about, not only amI in charge of everything and
all the details, but I'm also incharge of driving this car in a
(12:04):
foreign country and it's goingto be different than what I've
always done.
And so I have a friend wholived in Australia for a few
years and she she tried to talkme through this fear and anxiety
I was having, which was she wasactually making it worse.
Oh sorry, anxiety I was having,but she was actually making it
(12:28):
worse.
Oh sorry, no, actually sheprobably saved my life by giving
me this advice.
But but what I didn't realizeis that you're not just on the
other side of the road, butyou're on the other side of the
car.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yes, yeah, exactly yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
And I never really thought about that.
And when she brought that up tome I was like oh whoo, you know
, and it just adds anotherelement of, you know, confusion
and, I don't know, fear to thewhole thing.
People.
(13:06):
So it's not like I'm driving.
Well, Tanya, I flew intoAuckland.
Okay, yeah, I had to pick thecar up at the rental car, you
know, at the airport, and thendrive it from there into.
I was staying in Auckland thefirst night and so I knew I had
to get from the airport to myhotel and it was a little dicey,
you know there is.
What is so odd is to turn, tomake a right hand turn, but
(13:28):
you're not turning, you know, onthe right hand side you have to
pass by that.
Yes, yes, that was verydifficult for me that.
Oh yeah, but once I got the carparked I was so proud of myself
.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
you know, there you go.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
See, yes, I was alive , and everyone that I had
encountered was still alive.
And, um, you know, I stayed inthat hotel for the night and
then the next day I knew, if Icould just get to the interstate
that I would be okay, becausethen everybody's moving the same
direction.
You know, you don't have anyonecoming at you.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Correct, yes.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
And so I was able to drive on the interstate for
quite a while and then off on toa two lane road, and once I
sort of got to the Airbnb, thenI felt very accomplished and I
thought you can do this.
You just cannot let your guarddown.
You know you can't getcomfortable at all.
You have to be thinking at alltimes.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
I think that's amazing.
It's definitely you knowsomething about even just doing
a solo trip.
You know you kind of build that, that confidence.
You have to do things thatyou're not accustomed to, you're
uncomfortable doing, and thatis a huge one that you overcame.
I love it.
I've.
I've been there as, as wediscussed earlier, and I kept
(14:48):
having to say you know, what isit?
Left, left, left you know, like,just like remind myself I'm on
this side of the road, not thisside, and I just you know, of
course, when I got my rental car, that you have a choice to do
automatic or manual well, therewas no way.
I mean, I know how to drive amanual, but there's no way I'm
(15:10):
doing manual with my left handyes, there's just no way, I know
.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I thought the same thing.
It's going to be hard enoughjust to drive an automatic
transmission on the left side ofthe road.
So right, let's take thatfactor out of it, correct?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
enough to think about , like you said to have to, you
know, drive on the other sidethinking about how you're
turning differently, you knowbecause, of where you are on the
road.
But, yes, good for you.
Yes, that's a huge one, it canbe scary, but gosh, I feel like
if you could do that, if youcould do that and if you can
navigate public transportationin like a big city that's not
(15:48):
your like, maybe not your owncountry right, that you could
tackle anything really that's.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
that's also a big win .
Yes, learning the train stationbus, you know bus, bus terminal
, all the scheduling and how tobuy a ticket Correct, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Yeah, so New.
Zealand.
How long were you there?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I was there for nine days and I did stay in.
Besides the first night inAuckland, I stayed in three
separate towns along thepeninsula, so I just sort of
split it up by really what wasavailable, because it's their
summertime.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Our seasons are flip-flopped because they're in
the Southern Hemisphere.
Correct and it's theirsummertime and of course I, you
know, like I said, I had waiteda little, probably too long to
book my accommodation, so I waslimited on what was left and I
had to um, so I split it up.
You know, a few days here, afew days, yeah, they're based on
(16:53):
available, which I'm glad I didbecause I got to see more that
way yes, yeah, would.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Um, what would you recommend for, say, somebody
else going to New Zealand forthe first time for something for
them to do?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Well, what I will say is some of the things I read
before I left were that ifyou're going to drive a car in
New Zealand, don't underestimatethe amount of time it will take
you to get from point A topoint B, because you know, at
least in this country we're usedto good straight.
(17:31):
You know paved roads, yeah, andyou know that's not the case in
New Zealand.
The roads were fine, but not atall straight.
And they will even warn you.
In fact, the guy warned me atthe rental car company.
He said make sure you giveyourself enough time because
even though you see 30kilometers written, you know,
(17:51):
from this place to this placeit's going to take you a lot
longer than you think it will.
And it was so true you know.
So, to make sure that you planand I guess to answer your
question, you know, when I firststarted thinking about going, I
was thinking well, I want tosee the North Island and the
South Island.
And then, as I got closer to itand I started reading that
(18:15):
about how long it takes you toget from point A to point B, I
thought you know, I don't wantto spend all my time driving.
Yeah, yeah, yeah time driving,driving, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I
had.
I will say my advice is to pickone of the islands and stay
there and then maybe the nexttime you go back, you know,
explore the other island,because unless you have a lot of
(18:35):
time there, you know, if youhave more than two weeks then
you could probably you, you knowsee a lot of both islands.
But I only had nine days andpart of that was my travel days,
yeah, exactly, yeah, so yeah,there's enough to see in the
North Island and also there aretwo different landscapes.
(18:57):
The North Island is more beachesand what they call forests.
There are mountains there butnot like there are in the South
Island.
The South Island is more, youknow, they have the highest
point in New Zealand, which Ithink is Mount Cook, and then
they also have, you know, fjordsand glaciers and lots of rock
(19:17):
climbing and hiking, a lot moresort of adventure stuff.
Where the North Island is nice,long stretches of white sand
beaches.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Okay, that's good to know.
Yeah, so they have differentlandscapes.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yes, and I'm a walker , you know, for exercise I like
to walk, and in New Zealand theydon't call it hiking, they call
it walking, and they don't saythey have a hiking trail, they
say they have a walk Walkingtrail, yeah, or they have a
hiking trail.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
They say they have a walk Walking trail.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Yeah, or they call it tramping.
You'll hear both Tramping oh.
I like that.
You'll hear both of those termsand so there was so many trails
in the area of the CoromandelPeninsula that were coastal.
You know you could just walkalong the coastline and you know
they may be up on a cliffside,but you can hear the water, you
(20:09):
can see the water and it wasjust beautiful.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
you know, right up my alley that's what I want gosh,
that sounds perfect and I wantto hike, so it was a perfect
place to do both those thingsand did you realize that, before
you booked your trip to newzealand, that this, this was, um
you know, activities that youcould do, that you enjoyed, were
going to be available in NewZealand?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
I think I had an idea of it, but I didn't.
I did not know all of thatabout the differences in the two
islands.
You know, I really had to studythat when I was trying to
determine you know where it wasthat I was going to go, because
I just knew I didn't want tomove around a whole lot.
You know, a lot of people whohad been to the South Island
said, oh, you should have seenthe South Island.
(20:53):
And I just thought I'm surethat it's beautiful and I want
to go back and check that out.
But I did not want to spend awhole bunch of time, you know,
traveling from one place toanother and I'm glad I did it
the way I did.
I felt like I got to experiencea lot of the North.
Island and also it was warmer inthe North Island.
(21:14):
You know that's.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
That's a different concept, for, oh yeah, the South
Island is colder than well,that kind of makes sense if you
think about where the equator isright.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
We just have to remember exactly yes, and they
were having a cool summer.
You know, it never got out ofthe 70s when I was there oh that
sounds perfect.
It was perfect, and I I wastalking to there was a family on
the beach one day, and what theman had, um, he had seen a
(21:48):
stingray in the water, and sothey wanted to alert me to that
you know, so they called me overand they were showing it to me
and um, and so then we he askedwhere I was from, you know, and
and we just struck up aconversation.
But I said isn't it yoursummertime?
And he said yes, and I said itdoesn't get over 70 degrees
(22:09):
during the day, and he said well, this is a very mild summer for
us.
Usually it does, but you knowthat summer in particular was
super nice, so I definitelychose the right time to go yeah,
you got lucky.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Yes, I did get lucky.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
And also, it never rained while I was there.
I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I was so lucky.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Oh, that sounds amazing.
While you were there, did youhave any I call them
serendipitous or unexpectedexperiences that happened that
you'd like to share?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yes, actually, one of the videos that I watched
before I went over was of aplace called Donut Island, and
that's not the traditional NewZealand word for it, but that's
you.
Just Google Donut Island,you'll see it.
And I had watched it, you know,probably at least a month before
(23:10):
I left.
So I had oh, that was so cool,you know, maybe I should try to
do that when I'm there.
And then I sort of forgot aboutit.
Well then, when I was there, Iremembered it and I thought well
, I wonder where that is.
So I Googled it and happened tobe in the town where I was
staying.
Oh my gosh, yes, that's amazing.
I thought.
(23:30):
Okay, I've got to do it.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
And what?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
it is meant to be.
It's a volcano that hascollapsed into the water, and so
you're left with just sort ofthe rim of the volcano and it's
open at the top.
So there's a cave opening thatyou would paddle your kayak into
and then you're inside thisbeautiful turquoise lagoon, I
(23:54):
know, and there's, the trees aregrowing around the edge of the
volcano and the sunlight iscoming through the top and it's
just amazing.
But the crazy thing is that thevideo I watched, all it showed
was the people inside that youknow lagoon, and so it didn't
really give you the informationthat you needed.
(24:17):
That it's not a very safe thingto do to get into and out of
the lagoon.
Oh okay, it can be verydifficult depending on you know,
the conditions of the waterthat day, you know.
If it's, you know the tide islow, then you're probably good.
(24:38):
But if the waves are crashingagainst the volcanic walls, you
know, then it's a littledifficult.
And so I went to this.
Of course I had no idea aboutso all I knew was that I was
going to paddle into thisbeautiful little lagoon, you
know, and so I went to the key.
There's a kiosk that was by thebeach where you could go rent
(25:01):
your kayak and you could eitherpay a guide to take you in or
you could paddle on your own.
Well, I'm sort of budgetconscious, you know, and I
thought, oh, I can do this bymyself, I do not need a guide.
It was an extra 70 New Zealanddollars, which really worked out
to about 40 US, so I probablyshould have paid for the guide.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
But oh, but you sound like me.
I would have done the samething.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
I know I can do it.
I can do it.
So, and actually the gentlemanwho was renting the kayaks out,
he did ask me do you have anyexperience with the kayak?
And I said, yes, I, I have akayak and I live across the
street from a lake, you know.
But a lake is much differentthan the ocean yes, yes and he
(25:51):
just immediately said oh, youcan handle it.
You know, he was just convincedthat, just from what I had told
him, I would be fine on my own,and so they sort of gave me a
little um tutorial, you know,about how to make sure that my
kayak didn't capsize as I'mheading my gosh, they actually
said oh talk about inciting fearin you which made me a little
(26:16):
nervous, but I still sort ofdismissed it a little, because
if you just looked out at thewater, it didn't look too bad,
you know.
Okay, then as you get closer andcloser to that island, you can
see the water just crashing upagainst it.
And it's not a very wideopening, it's only it's about as
wide as your kayak paddle.
And so I thought, well, I'mgonna do that, just right, you
(26:38):
know, to get in there.
And I'm telling you, I was justthis close to saying forget it,
because I was so nervous aboutyou know getting what if a wave
comes and smashes me up againstthe side of that volcano you
know, I don't have a helmet onnobody's with me, you know by
myself.
Yes, yeah, and so I was veryclose, to you know, turning
(27:02):
around, and then I sort of hadpaddled far enough up where I
caught a glimpse of the insideof that lagoon and I thought, no
, I'm dead.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Can't pass that up.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Yeah, so I waited.
I actually watched the waterfor quite a while and I could
see that there would be, youknow, several crashes of waves
and then there would be a littlebit of calm and there was a
pattern I noticed and so Ithought, okay, if I can time it
just right and I can catch thatlittle calm stretch of time, I
(27:35):
can get into that lagoon.
And that's what I did.
You know, I waited, I waitedfor my moment and when I saw it
I just paddled, you know,paddled away and made it.
Just as I get into the opening,a wave comes up, but it just
sort of lifts me up and carriesme right inside.
Yes, and so I came in a littlefast and there were people in
(27:57):
there and I might have crashedinto somebody's kayak, but it
was okay, they were nice theywere.
They were okay about it.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
But and they understood, but it was magical.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
You know it was I.
At that point I I did wish thatI had, you know, somebody there
with me, you know, and and I Iwanted a picture of myself in
that, in that lagoon, and therewas a guy, there was a guide in
there who had guided um a couplein and he said if you will hand
(28:32):
me your phone, I'll take apicture of you.
And he did.
But I was so I was so nervousto hand in my phone because I
thought this where's he gonna go, though?
Speaker 1 (28:42):
I mean, that's all that.
You're like, you're in this, Iwas worried I was gonna drop it.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
I was in the water, and then it would just be gone
you know.
so I just held on to it with twohands and handed it to him and
he was sweet.
He backed up in his in hiskayak and took a few pictures of
me.
So I do have a picture of me inthere.
(29:21):
Oh, that's amazing.
Once I got inside, they were ontheir way out and then there
was a guide and two other people, so for a minute there were six
of us and then two left andthen I got scared to go out.
(29:42):
Same, you had the same issuegoing out, and so I looked at
the guide and I said how longare you guys going to be in here
?
Speaker 1 (29:52):
I would have done the same thing.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Just follow them out, right, when you go out.
And he said, oh, we're going tobe in here for a while, and I
said, okay, so he, he sensedimmediately what I was getting
at, I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Yes, and he wasn't getting paid for your time.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Well, yeah, and they do this special thing where they
do this traditional tea timewith if you pay for the guide.
you know they have all these andI think they were sort of
wanting to do that in there.
And so I I said well, you knowI was, I was just going to
(30:34):
follow you out.
And he said here's what you do.
You know, he knew I was nervousto go out of the cave and he
said I want you to.
You know, wait till you seethat calm moment, just like you
did on the way in.
And then, when you do, paddleas hard as you can.
He said you're going to make aright hand turn, but don't turn
too quickly, because then a wavecan catch you and push you,
push you against yeah.
(30:59):
So he did give me a push and hesaid you know, paddle for quite
a while straight out and then,once you feel like you have
enough room, then make a rightand head back towards the beach.
So that's what I did, and itthat was.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
That was nice of him.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Oh my gosh I was so glad that I had done it, though
and I I really am I'm glad thatI did not know about the danger
of trying to get in and out ofthat cave, because I probably
would not have done it you know,if I didn't know ahead of time,
I guess, in some instances,ignorance is bliss but I'm glad
(31:33):
you did it.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Honestly Again, you conquered some fears unbeknownst
to you, honestly right.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
And I would definitely recommend it.
But I would recommend payingthat extra $40 for anyone who's
going.
It is worth it to have someonewith you that just sort of knows
the right timing and you knowcan, can give you all the you
know confidence that you need toget in there.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Perfect, I love that advice, cause that's actually a
segue to my next question is,like with your trip to New
Zealand, what would dodifferently?
Would you do anythingdifferently?
Speaker 2 (32:11):
um, I don't know if I'd do anything.
I may have ventured out alittle from that Coromandel
Peninsula.
There is another place calledthe Bay of Islands, which is
further north, and I guess youwould say it was probably more
northwest of Auckland, whereasthe Coromandel is east and I
(32:34):
really wanted to go there.
They say that you can spotdolphins pretty easily from
there and if I had it to do overI probably would spend some
time in the Coromandel and thenhead to that Bay of Islands and
spend some time there.
But it is a more remote areaand so that sort of scared me
(32:54):
away a little bit.
You know I thought oh, you knowI'm already a little nervous
about being by myself and thisis you know, this area looks
very remote, but after beingthere and seeing it and seeing
how, how the people are sowelcoming and you know, nobody,
nobody's really paying attentionto you.
(33:16):
You know, like it's true,they're going through their own
lives and, yes, if you're there,great, and if you're not, they
don't really notice either way.
So if I I had it to do over, Iwould probably go to that Bay of
Islands.
Because when I got back, one ofmy friends came up to me and
said oh, I saw your pictures onInstagram.
(33:36):
You went to New Zealand.
Did you go to the Bay ofIslands?
You know, that was the firstthing out of her mouth.
I went, no, I didn't.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
But I'll go next time .
Next time, Right, and you, itsounds like, as you recommended,
that you know maybe allowingmore time if you plan to see.
You know both parts of theisland.
You know the North and theSouth part, but even just in
general, I mean, it sounds likeyou could have also just spent a
(34:03):
few more days in the North partof the you know the northern
island part.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
oh, definitely there's so much I didn't see um
I think the whole west coast isa whole different look and I
would have loved to have goneover there.
There's also a very famous umplace inland where they filmed
some of lord of the rings, andso I probably would have made
that stop.
A lot of people asked me if Iwent there and I'm not a big
lord of the rings fan, and so Iprobably would have made that
stop.
A lot of people asked me if Iwent there and I'm not a big
(34:28):
Lord of the Rings fan, so Ididn't carve out the time for
that, but it did look neat.
You know, I did hear people saywhether you are or are not a
fan.
This is a cool little place togo.
I think it's called Hobbit Town.
Oh my gosh.
Of course I'm sure there's many, many places, and there was, um
(34:50):
, there was a macadamia farm.
That macadamia nut farm that Iwas next to and I didn't know
anything about it.
And as I was leaving, I wasreading a little book on where I
was and I went oh my gosh, Iwas right next to that.
There, there's so much to doand see and there is Absolutely,
you can see it all.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
No, you can't.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Yeah, but I did make a good effort at it and still
had a good time.
I did a lot of hiking.
I saw a lot of beaches.
There was a really cool beachcalled New Chums Beach and the
only way that you could getthere was either to hike in or
to boat in, and so the Airbnbhost that I had at the first
(35:30):
stop recommended it.
They had a little book ofrecommended walks.
You know, as I say, an air boxyes, not, not hikes not hikes.
That was one of them, and I hadheard a little something about
it before I left, but I thoughtit was going to be a lot further
away than where I wasn'tactually wasn't, you know, it
was only about a 30 minute driveaway, so I thought I'm going to
.
I'm going to do that, and thatwas really awesome because it
(35:54):
was hard to get to and it wasjust the most beautiful secluded
beach, and so I probably spenttwo hours there and there was
never more than 12 other peopleon that beach.
It was just lovely.
It was a picnic, with me and myknitting.
I'm a knitter, so I was just ashappy as I could be.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Oh my gosh.
So I mean it sounds like youwould be up for doing another
solo trip.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Sounds like you would be up for doing another solo
trip, Absolutely.
When I got back I felt soaccomplished, I felt just sort
of liberated.
You know, it was just now.
I can go on these trips bymyself and of course I'm going
to choose, you know, somewherethat is safe you know, yeah,
like I love your shows wherethat you do on just suggestions
(36:49):
on where to go.
Those are my favorite onesbecause it gives you ideas on
areas that are safe for solofemale travelers.
And you know, I've got them onmy list now.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
You know, I mean New Zealand was absolutely perfect
for me because it's an Englishspeaking country, Correct, and
also it had all the things Ilove, you know water, hiking,
good food, nice people.
I was happy.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Yes, I've heard all that about New Zealand and
Australia as well, Like howwonderful it is, the people,
lots to do, like lots ofdifferent like you said you
experienced or could have.
You know, that's one of thereasons I advocate for solo
(37:47):
travel, right, Because I wantwomen to have the confidence to
go.
Obviously, but and youmentioned freedom use the word
freedom, it's one of my words, Ifeel when I do solo travel as
well.
So you know, I'm so impressedbecause that was a huge step for
you to take such courage andI'm hoping that what you've
(38:08):
shared today has really inspiredother women, because we have a
real life story about you goingfor your very first solo trip
internationally.
I might add, Right, and I alsowant to add folks that you know
Lee is married, as she mentionedbefore, so you don't have to be
single to do a solo trip, andfor her it was just, you know
(38:31):
she advocated to go, so she hadto.
You know, pitch that to herhusband and other, probably
friends or family, and you knowshe picked a good, safe place.
You know to get her research,and so look, she is a testimony
of just how amazing a solo tripcould be.
And even though you got alittle scared there with the
(38:53):
kayaking thing you overcame thatand look at the beauty that you
saw.
I mean I, I'm going to have tohave you send me one of those
pictures of you in the in thevolcano Cause I haven't seen it.
That would be amazing.
So any other like tips?
Since you've done your firstsolo trip, is there anything you
wish?
You knew beforehand that youkind of have figured out now.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
You know, I think I will say, and the fact that you
brought up the point that I'mmarried, say, and the fact that
you brought up the point thatI'm married, I'm married to a
very capable person and he's oneof those guys that can fix
anything and anything thatbreaks, you know, whether it's
your computer or your washingmachine, or your car breaks down
.
And so we've been married forover 20 years and I felt like I
(39:43):
had lost some of my independence, almost a little, because we
all the kids and I, we all deferto dad.
If something breaks, dad canfix it and he's always the
driver.
When we go on a trip, he'salways the driver, and so for me
(40:05):
it was regaining some of that.
I didn't realize how much Irelied on him, you know, until I
was by myself, and, and andthat's really you know I lived
by myself for eight years beforewe got married, and so when
you're by yourself, you have todo everything yourself.
You don't have anyone else todo that stuff for you, and so
(40:28):
that was difficult for me atfirst, and you know, and I even
shot him a text and said youknow, one thing I've learned is
that I take you for granted andthat I rely on you too much, and
so it's good for you, you know,even if you are married, to
have this time apart where youcan sort of, you know,
appreciate each other andappreciate your family, because
(40:50):
when you're all together all thetime you sort of take each
other for granted.
So that sort of surprised me.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
I love that nugget of wisdom.
Actually I don't know if it'ssome sort of research they've
done.
But couples that it can relateto travel, but couples that have
their own sort of maybe anactivity that they do by
themselves are have healthiermarriages like when they have
that time whether like you said,whether it's like I'm going to
(41:22):
take a trip, you know, maybethey take a trip or they do
something else, or they havetheir guy friends, you have your
girlfriends, you know.
So I, I I believe that's whatyou've just experienced is also
gonna potentially, you know,like you said, gives you an
appreciation for your husband,right?
I love it, Love it, yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
But I do.
I do have two tips for yourlist.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Yes, please.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Okay and they're.
They're pretty basic, but ifyou're by yourself, you know,
are you nervous about being byyourself somewhere?
I always walk with purpose.
Do you know what I mean by that?
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
Don't be aloof, don't be on your phone, don't look
like you're lost, correct, looklike you know where you're going
and you know what you're doing,because those people are much
less likely to be bothered bysomeone else or to be approached
by someone else.
And then the other thing iswhen I was 18 and my older
(42:19):
brother, ben he's six yearsolder than me and I was about to
leave to go to college Shoutout to another Texan, ben.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Oh yay.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
He didn't come home for my high school graduation
and so he wanted to give me apiece of advice and I've taken
it with me my whole life andhe's very short but wise piece
of advice, lee don't ever putyourself in a stupid situation,
and I'm going to put a littlespin on it for adults Don't ever
(42:54):
put yourself in an unsafesituation.
You know.
So.
If you have a feeling, you knowespecially women, they have
this intuition If you feel likemaybe you shouldn't walk down
that street, then maybe youshouldn't walk down that street.
You know, listen to your innervoice and just sort of have
common sense when you travel.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
I love it.
How true.
It's kind of my motto too.
Oh, yes, I love it.
Well, lee, this has beenfabulous.
It's been very encouraging andenlightening.
I have to.
I guess I need to put NewZealand on my list, I mean you
know, so I have a top 10 listand since I'll be able to cross
(43:38):
one of those off, I'll have toadd New Zealand in there now.
So now I'll still have 10.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
But you know for sure , it's always shifting and
changing, but yes, oh yeah, samewith me.
But you know that that's good.
That'll just give us more tripsto go on.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Exactly.
I love it and I'm really hopingyour story encourages other
women to do the same, to get outthere, take that leap and, just
you know, do that solo trip,especially if they haven't yet.
I love it.
Thank you so much for your alsoyour wisdom and everything that
you shared here today.
I think it's definitely youknow worthy of you know, just
(44:16):
everybody listening.
I'm so thrilled.
Thank you for being on my show.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
Of course, thanks for having me on.
I had a blast.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
Oh, awesome.
Well, I hope you were trulyinspired by Lee's testimony her
story about her first solo tripto New Zealand and I hope you
get out there and do the same.
But if you are still feelingstuck and have this fear,
anxiety, feel overwhelmed withthe whole thought of doing a
(44:46):
solo trip, for whatever reason,I want you to book a call with
me so that I can, you know, help, guide you through that process
.
We can connect and make this areality for you.
And, who knows, maybe you willbe my next guest sharing your
story of your first solo trip.
Are you someone who's been sitting on the sidelines
watching other people go onthese solo adventures, these
trips, wishing you could go butnot mustering the courage?
Or maybe you just have somefear that's holding you back
from doing it?
Well, I have a great exampletoday with my guest.
She is also a listener of thisshow, just like you, who took
(00:23):
her first solo tripinternationally very recently
and is here to share what it waslike, what her feelings were
before, how she feels now, aftershe's actually taken that trip.
Join the conversation I'mhaving with Leigh Barborek today
and I am sure I can guaranteeyou will be just inspired to go
(00:46):
ahead and book that first tripof your own.
Well, folks, I have an amazingguest today.
I have Leigh Barboric.
She is a longtime listener ofthe show, but she is going to
share how she took her veryfirst solo trip, and even she
did an international one, whichis even more exciting to hear
(01:07):
about because that is a big leapof faith to take that if you've
never gone solo travel before.
So, Leigh, I'm so glad you'rehere and I would love to
actually hear kind of an originstory of really what made you
desire to take a solo trip.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Well, first of all, thank you for having me.
I love your show, so this isreally neat to actually be a
guest on it.
Yes, well, I mean, I alwayswanted to take a trip by myself.
I don't really know why, otherthan there's not always somebody
(01:48):
to go with you, you know.
And so I just felt like I wish Iwas brave enough, you know,
because I would see other peopledoing it and I guess I would go
to you know all the bad thingsthat could happen and that would
sort of scare me away, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Well, let's talk about those bad feelings, cause
I know that's you're not alonein that.
A lot of people, I thinksometimes that's what prevents
them from actually going on asolo trip.
But you somehow were able toovercome those, uh, those bad
ideas or feelings that you werehaving.
What were some of them that youhad to overcome?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Well, you know, just feeling like you don't have
somebody with you is are yougoing to be safe?
You know how's it going to beeating out at a restaurant by
yourself, and you know going tosomewhere that you've never been
before.
Is that somewhere?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
that you've never been before is that?
Is it going to be like youthink it is?
You know, right?
Yeah, we all have thesebuilt-up expectations, a lot of
you know, when we travel or anykind of event.
And well, just just out ofcuriosity, did your expectations
, did they get met by goingwhere you went?
They?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
did get met.
I think what I mean by that isyou watch it.
Like one way that I get readyto go somewhere is I'll watch
YouTube videos, and sometimesthose can be deceiving.
So I was worried that I wouldchoose an area and then I would
get there and you know, youspend all this money and you
make all these plans and you getyour time off work, and then
(03:28):
you get there and it's not whatyou thought it was going to be,
you know.
So I think I had a fear of that,for sure, okay even though
where I ended up going is wellknown to be very beautiful, it's
still's.
It's a big place and there'slots of places to choose from
once you get there.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
So I was scared.
I would, you know, pick thewrong place.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Well, how did you decide where to go, and then you
can share.
Tell everybody where you went.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
First of all, I went to New Zealand and the you know
I think a lot of people want togo to New Zealand.
You know it sounds kind ofexotic and you know we know
there's beaches there andmountains there and just
beautiful scenery and landscapeand you know lots of movies are
filmed there and so people havean expectation of what what it's
(04:20):
going to be like you know,expectation of what.
What it's going to be like youknow.
And so everyone I mean a lot ofpeople want to go there, and I
am signed up to these websitesthat will send you alerts when
(04:40):
there are cheap airfares youknow to know what I'm talking
about.
So one day I happened to get analert that there was one to New
Zealand and I thought, wow, youknow it was a really good deal.
And you know I mulled it overand I went and talked to my
husband about it and just reallyfor the two of us to go, and he
(05:02):
said I don't really think I canget off work then.
And so I thought, okay, wellthen this will be my chance to
go by myself somewhere.
So I presented that idea to him.
He was not super on board atfirst, not 100% against it, but
also not real excited about thatidea.
(05:22):
But you know I did someconvincing and, you know,
presented why I thought thiswould be a good trip to go on
solo and finally he was on boardwith it and I took the plunge
and booked the trip.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
That's amazing.
Yes, as often we will get youknow pushback from family
members or friends about eventaking a solo trip, so I love
how you presented your case tohim.
Basically, I mean like that'samazing.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Well, I have.
I have a job that can sometimesput me in danger and I I
brought that up to him and Isaid you know, I do this every
day.
You never really, you know, sayanything about it.
I think sometimes my job canput me in more danger than
flying to New Zealand by myself.
So you know, that's whatfinally convinced him to to let
(06:18):
me try this.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
There you go.
Yes, and um, you booked yourlong.
Were you gone and where?
Tell us a little bit more aboutwhat you did when you were
there.
I guess you know.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Well, I will say that I put off the planning of the
trip.
You know, I booked the airfare.
When I finally decided to takethe leap, I booked the airfare
and then I just sort of put theplanning on the back burner,
cause, you know, life gets inthe way.
I have two kids, I have a joband I almost sort of I won't say
I was in denial about it comingup, but it wasn't in the front
(06:58):
of my mind, you know.
And so finally I realized, youknow, I'm leaving in a month and
a half and I still have noaccommodations.
So that's when I really started, you know, watching videos.
I do this thing when I'm tripplanning that in the morning,
when I'm getting ready for work,I'll put a YouTube video on of
the place that I'm going to.
(07:18):
You know, I'll find one thatthat looks, you know, like it
might be informative and I'llwatch that while I'm getting
ready.
And I found this place calledCathedral Cove and it sounded
really neat.
Really neat place and somepeople may know it from.
There was a scene from theChronicles of Narnia where
(07:38):
Cathedral the kids get sort ofdropped off into Cathedral Cove
and they start playing on thebeach.
That's where that is.
Oh see, I didn't even know thatand it just looked really neat.
And so I was like, well, whereis that?
And it happened to be in theNorth Island and I was like, oh,
ok, I'll try to find that.
(08:00):
So the trip started beingplanned around Cathedral Cove
and it's actually located in aplace called the Coromandel
Peninsula, which is in thenortheastern part of the North
Island of New Zealand andthere's so much to do around
there.
I thought you know what?
I'm going to have a rental car.
They drive on the opposite sideof the road up there.
I'm not real, you know, excitedabout driving a lot.
(08:23):
So I thought I'm just going toget to my destination and sort
of stay in that area, becausethere's enough to do on the
Coromandel Peninsula to keep methere the whole time.
And I thought I'll come back toNew Zealand another time and
explore the South Island with myhusband, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Great plan.
Well, and, and most of theplaces I'm sure other people
that travel a lot can attestlike, when you go somewhere, you
go to a country, you get to seesuch a little slice of it and
there's so much to see, nomatter where you go, honestly,
and you can't see it all, and soI love the attitude of like
I'll have to just come back,right, so there's just give me
the reason to come back, exactlySomething to look forward to.
(09:07):
So I love how you know, you,you play, I done the same thing
you book your flight and thenfigure everything out kind of
after that.
And I had that as actually aquestion.
Somebody had asked you know,how do you do that?
And well, that's how I start,the same way, you know, I booked
the airline because usually I'mthe same way I'm looking for a
deal.
(09:28):
And I'm sure, when you foundthat deal, I did see a lot of
New Zealand deals going around,so I understand, I know why you
did it and kind of that'samazing that you took that leap
Before you went.
Though what were some of thefeelings that you were having
before you went?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Well, I had a few different feelings.
You know one I had a little bitof guilt about taking the trip
and sort of the financial aspectof it, because you know you're
spending money on this trip.
Even though I got a great deal,I still had to pay for
accommodations, I still had topay for food and you know
(10:11):
whatever, you know expendituresyou have on the trip.
And we had just had to buy anew car because, you know, my
husband and I drive cars untilthey're done, you know, know,
and both of us had cars thatneither one would you know would
be reliable for an out of towntrip.
So we just purchased a new carand I thought, oh, I don't
(10:34):
really need to spend this money.
And so I did have a little bitof guilt.
And in the back of my mind too,it was that I could cancel that
ticket and I could cancel myaccommodations.
Because whenever I bookanything and this is a good tip
for your listeners make sure youcan cancel, you know, up to the
(10:55):
last minute, because you justdon't ever know what's going to
happen.
But I had that in the back ofmy mind too.
You know I could cancel.
I I had that in the back of mymind too, you know I could
cancel.
And but I also had in my mindwell, I've told people, I'm
going on this trip and I youknow, I can't bear to say, I
(11:17):
decided not to go you know thatwould be disappointing
disappointing for you and maybeothers right.
Exactly so I and I wanted to goso so you know I've tried to
fight through that and justifyand work a few extra hours you
know, yeah, some spending money.
And then I also felt, I feltvery anxious about driving on
(11:41):
the opposite side of the road.
You know, it's so againsteverything you've ever done,
especially when you're over 50.
You know, I'm 54.
I've been driving a car for along time.
So, to think about, not only amI in charge of everything and
all the details, but I'm also incharge of driving this car in a
(12:04):
foreign country and it's goingto be different than what I've
always done.
And so I have a friend wholived in Australia for a few
years and she she tried to talkme through this fear and anxiety
I was having, which was she wasactually making it worse.
Oh sorry, anxiety I was having,but she was actually making it
(12:28):
worse.
Oh sorry, no, actually sheprobably saved my life by giving
me this advice.
But but what I didn't realizeis that you're not just on the
other side of the road, butyou're on the other side of the
car.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yes, yeah, exactly yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
And I never really thought about that.
And when she brought that up tome I was like oh whoo, you know
, and it just adds anotherelement of, you know, confusion
and, I don't know, fear to thewhole thing.
People.
(13:06):
So it's not like I'm driving.
Well, Tanya, I flew intoAuckland.
Okay, yeah, I had to pick thecar up at the rental car, you
know, at the airport, and thendrive it from there into.
I was staying in Auckland thefirst night and so I knew I had
to get from the airport to myhotel and it was a little dicey,
you know there is.
What is so odd is to turn, tomake a right hand turn, but
(13:28):
you're not turning, you know, onthe right hand side you have to
pass by that.
Yes, yes, that was verydifficult for me that.
Oh yeah, but once I got the carparked I was so proud of myself
.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
you know, there you go.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
See, yes, I was alive , and everyone that I had
encountered was still alive.
And, um, you know, I stayed inthat hotel for the night and
then the next day I knew, if Icould just get to the interstate
that I would be okay, becausethen everybody's moving the same
direction.
You know, you don't have anyonecoming at you.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Correct, yes.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
And so I was able to drive on the interstate for
quite a while and then off on toa two lane road, and once I
sort of got to the Airbnb, thenI felt very accomplished and I
thought you can do this.
You just cannot let your guarddown.
You know you can't getcomfortable at all.
You have to be thinking at alltimes.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
I think that's amazing.
It's definitely you knowsomething about even just doing
a solo trip.
You know you kind of build that, that confidence.
You have to do things thatyou're not accustomed to, you're
uncomfortable doing, and thatis a huge one that you overcame.
I love it.
I've.
I've been there as, as wediscussed earlier, and I kept
(14:48):
having to say you know, what isit?
Left, left, left you know, like,just like remind myself I'm on
this side of the road, not thisside, and I just you know, of
course, when I got my rental car, that you have a choice to do
automatic or manual well, therewas no way.
I mean, I know how to drive amanual, but there's no way I'm
(15:10):
doing manual with my left handyes, there's just no way, I know
.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
I thought the same thing.
It's going to be hard enoughjust to drive an automatic
transmission on the left side ofthe road.
So right, let's take thatfactor out of it, correct?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
enough to think about , like you said to have to, you
know, drive on the other sidethinking about how you're
turning differently, you knowbecause, of where you are on the
road.
But, yes, good for you.
Yes, that's a huge one, it canbe scary, but gosh, I feel like
if you could do that, if youcould do that and if you can
navigate public transportationin like a big city that's not
(15:48):
your like, maybe not your owncountry right, that you could
tackle anything really that's.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
that's also a big win .
Yes, learning the train stationbus, you know bus, bus terminal
, all the scheduling and how tobuy a ticket Correct, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Yeah, so New.
Zealand.
How long were you there?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I was there for nine days and I did stay in.
Besides the first night inAuckland, I stayed in three
separate towns along thepeninsula, so I just sort of
split it up by really what wasavailable, because it's their
summertime.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Our seasons are flip-flopped because they're in
the Southern Hemisphere.
Correct and it's theirsummertime and of course I, you
know, like I said, I had waiteda little, probably too long to
book my accommodation, so I waslimited on what was left and I
had to um, so I split it up.
You know, a few days here, afew days, yeah, they're based on
(16:53):
available, which I'm glad I didbecause I got to see more that
way yes, yeah, would.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Um, what would you recommend for, say, somebody
else going to New Zealand forthe first time for something for
them to do?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Well, what I will say is some of the things I read
before I left were that ifyou're going to drive a car in
New Zealand, don't underestimatethe amount of time it will take
you to get from point A topoint B, because you know, at
least in this country we're usedto good straight.
(17:31):
You know paved roads, yeah, andyou know that's not the case in
New Zealand.
The roads were fine, but not atall straight.
And they will even warn you.
In fact, the guy warned me atthe rental car company.
He said make sure you giveyourself enough time because
even though you see 30kilometers written, you know,
(17:51):
from this place to this placeit's going to take you a lot
longer than you think it will.
And it was so true you know.
So, to make sure that you planand I guess to answer your
question, you know, when I firststarted thinking about going, I
was thinking well, I want tosee the North Island and the
South Island.
And then, as I got closer to itand I started reading that
(18:15):
about how long it takes you toget from point A to point B, I
thought you know, I don't wantto spend all my time driving.
Yeah, yeah, yeah time driving,driving, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I
had.
I will say my advice is to pickone of the islands and stay
there and then maybe the nexttime you go back, you know,
explore the other island,because unless you have a lot of
(18:35):
time there, you know, if youhave more than two weeks then
you could probably you, you knowsee a lot of both islands.
But I only had nine days andpart of that was my travel days,
yeah, exactly, yeah, so yeah,there's enough to see in the
North Island and also there aretwo different landscapes.
(18:57):
The North Island is more beachesand what they call forests.
There are mountains there butnot like there are in the South
Island.
The South Island is more, youknow, they have the highest
point in New Zealand, which Ithink is Mount Cook, and then
they also have, you know, fjordsand glaciers and lots of rock
(19:17):
climbing and hiking, a lot moresort of adventure stuff.
Where the North Island is nice,long stretches of white sand
beaches.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Okay, that's good to know.
Yeah, so they have differentlandscapes.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yes, and I'm a walker , you know, for exercise I like
to walk, and in New Zealand theydon't call it hiking, they call
it walking, and they don't saythey have a hiking trail, they
say they have a walk Walkingtrail, yeah, or they have a
hiking trail.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
They say they have a walk Walking trail.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Yeah, or they call it tramping.
You'll hear both Tramping oh.
I like that.
You'll hear both of those termsand so there was so many trails
in the area of the CoromandelPeninsula that were coastal.
You know you could just walkalong the coastline and you know
they may be up on a cliffside,but you can hear the water, you
(20:09):
can see the water and it wasjust beautiful.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
you know, right up my alley that's what I want gosh,
that sounds perfect and I wantto hike, so it was a perfect
place to do both those thingsand did you realize that, before
you booked your trip to newzealand, that this, this was, um
you know, activities that youcould do, that you enjoyed, were
going to be available in NewZealand?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
I think I had an idea of it, but I didn't.
I did not know all of thatabout the differences in the two
islands.
You know, I really had to studythat when I was trying to
determine you know where it wasthat I was going to go, because
I just knew I didn't want tomove around a whole lot.
You know, a lot of people whohad been to the South Island
said, oh, you should have seenthe South Island.
(20:53):
And I just thought I'm surethat it's beautiful and I want
to go back and check that out.
But I did not want to spend awhole bunch of time, you know,
traveling from one place toanother and I'm glad I did it
the way I did.
I felt like I got to experiencea lot of the North.
Island and also it was warmer inthe North Island.
(21:14):
You know that's.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
That's a different concept, for, oh yeah, the South
Island is colder than well,that kind of makes sense if you
think about where the equator isright.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
We just have to remember exactly yes, and they
were having a cool summer.
You know, it never got out ofthe 70s when I was there oh that
sounds perfect.
It was perfect, and I I wastalking to there was a family on
the beach one day, and what theman had, um, he had seen a
(21:48):
stingray in the water, and sothey wanted to alert me to that
you know, so they called me overand they were showing it to me
and um, and so then we he askedwhere I was from, you know, and
and we just struck up aconversation.
But I said isn't it yoursummertime?
And he said yes, and I said itdoesn't get over 70 degrees
(22:09):
during the day, and he said well, this is a very mild summer for
us.
Usually it does, but you knowthat summer in particular was
super nice, so I definitelychose the right time to go yeah,
you got lucky.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Yes, I did get lucky.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
And also, it never rained while I was there.
I couldn't believe it.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I was so lucky.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Oh, that sounds amazing.
While you were there, did youhave any I call them
serendipitous or unexpectedexperiences that happened that
you'd like to share?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yes, actually, one of the videos that I watched
before I went over was of aplace called Donut Island, and
that's not the traditional NewZealand word for it, but that's
you.
Just Google Donut Island,you'll see it.
And I had watched it, you know,probably at least a month before
(23:10):
I left.
So I had oh, that was so cool,you know, maybe I should try to
do that when I'm there.
And then I sort of forgot aboutit.
Well then, when I was there, Iremembered it and I thought well
, I wonder where that is.
So I Googled it and happened tobe in the town where I was
staying.
Oh my gosh, yes, that's amazing.
I thought.
(23:30):
Okay, I've got to do it.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
And what?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
it is meant to be.
It's a volcano that hascollapsed into the water, and so
you're left with just sort ofthe rim of the volcano and it's
open at the top.
So there's a cave opening thatyou would paddle your kayak into
and then you're inside thisbeautiful turquoise lagoon, I
(23:54):
know, and there's, the trees aregrowing around the edge of the
volcano and the sunlight iscoming through the top and it's
just amazing.
But the crazy thing is that thevideo I watched, all it showed
was the people inside that youknow lagoon, and so it didn't
really give you the informationthat you needed.
(24:17):
That it's not a very safe thingto do to get into and out of
the lagoon.
Oh okay, it can be verydifficult depending on you know,
the conditions of the waterthat day, you know.
If it's, you know the tide islow, then you're probably good.
(24:38):
But if the waves are crashingagainst the volcanic walls, you
know, then it's a littledifficult.
And so I went to this.
Of course I had no idea aboutso all I knew was that I was
going to paddle into thisbeautiful little lagoon, you
know, and so I went to the key.
There's a kiosk that was by thebeach where you could go rent
(25:01):
your kayak and you could eitherpay a guide to take you in or
you could paddle on your own.
Well, I'm sort of budgetconscious, you know, and I
thought, oh, I can do this bymyself, I do not need a guide.
It was an extra 70 New Zealanddollars, which really worked out
to about 40 US, so I probablyshould have paid for the guide.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
But oh, but you sound like me.
I would have done the samething.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
I know I can do it.
I can do it.
So, and actually the gentlemanwho was renting the kayaks out,
he did ask me do you have anyexperience with the kayak?
And I said, yes, I, I have akayak and I live across the
street from a lake, you know.
But a lake is much differentthan the ocean yes, yes and he
(25:51):
just immediately said oh, youcan handle it.
You know, he was just convincedthat, just from what I had told
him, I would be fine on my own,and so they sort of gave me a
little um tutorial, you know,about how to make sure that my
kayak didn't capsize as I'mheading my gosh, they actually
said oh talk about inciting fearin you which made me a little
(26:16):
nervous, but I still sort ofdismissed it a little, because
if you just looked out at thewater, it didn't look too bad,
you know.
Okay, then as you get closer andcloser to that island, you can
see the water just crashing upagainst it.
And it's not a very wideopening, it's only it's about as
wide as your kayak paddle.
And so I thought, well, I'mgonna do that, just right, you
(26:38):
know, to get in there.
And I'm telling you, I was justthis close to saying forget it,
because I was so nervous aboutyou know getting what if a wave
comes and smashes me up againstthe side of that volcano you
know, I don't have a helmet onnobody's with me, you know by
myself.
Yes, yeah, and so I was veryclose, to you know, turning
(27:02):
around, and then I sort of hadpaddled far enough up where I
caught a glimpse of the insideof that lagoon and I thought, no
, I'm dead.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Can't pass that up.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Yeah, so I waited.
I actually watched the waterfor quite a while and I could
see that there would be, youknow, several crashes of waves
and then there would be a littlebit of calm and there was a
pattern I noticed and so Ithought, okay, if I can time it
just right and I can catch thatlittle calm stretch of time, I
(27:35):
can get into that lagoon.
And that's what I did.
You know, I waited, I waitedfor my moment and when I saw it
I just paddled, you know,paddled away and made it.
Just as I get into the opening,a wave comes up, but it just
sort of lifts me up and carriesme right inside.
Yes, and so I came in a littlefast and there were people in
(27:57):
there and I might have crashedinto somebody's kayak, but it
was okay, they were nice theywere.
They were okay about it.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
But and they understood, but it was magical.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
You know it was I.
At that point I I did wish thatI had, you know, somebody there
with me, you know, and and I Iwanted a picture of myself in
that, in that lagoon, and therewas a guy, there was a guide in
there who had guided um a couplein and he said if you will hand
(28:32):
me your phone, I'll take apicture of you.
And he did.
But I was so I was so nervousto hand in my phone because I
thought this where's he gonna go, though?
Speaker 1 (28:42):
I mean, that's all that.
You're like, you're in this, Iwas worried I was gonna drop it.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
I was in the water, and then it would just be gone
you know.
so I just held on to it with twohands and handed it to him and
he was sweet.
He backed up in his in hiskayak and took a few pictures of
me.
So I do have a picture of me inthere.
(29:21):
Oh, that's amazing.
Once I got inside, they were ontheir way out and then there
was a guide and two other people, so for a minute there were six
of us and then two left andthen I got scared to go out.
(29:42):
Same, you had the same issuegoing out, and so I looked at
the guide and I said how longare you guys going to be in here
?
Speaker 1 (29:52):
I would have done the same thing.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Just follow them out, right, when you go out.
And he said, oh, we're going tobe in here for a while, and I
said, okay, so he, he sensedimmediately what I was getting
at, I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Yes, and he wasn't getting paid for your time.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Well, yeah, and they do this special thing where they
do this traditional tea timewith if you pay for the guide.
you know they have all these andI think they were sort of
wanting to do that in there.
And so I I said well, you knowI was, I was just going to
(30:34):
follow you out.
And he said here's what you do.
You know, he knew I was nervousto go out of the cave and he
said I want you to.
You know, wait till you seethat calm moment, just like you
did on the way in.
And then, when you do, paddleas hard as you can.
He said you're going to make aright hand turn, but don't turn
too quickly, because then a wavecan catch you and push you,
push you against yeah.
(30:59):
So he did give me a push and hesaid you know, paddle for quite
a while straight out and then,once you feel like you have
enough room, then make a rightand head back towards the beach.
So that's what I did, and itthat was.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
That was nice of him.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Oh my gosh I was so glad that I had done it, though
and I I really am I'm glad thatI did not know about the danger
of trying to get in and out ofthat cave, because I probably
would not have done it you know,if I didn't know ahead of time,
I guess, in some instances,ignorance is bliss but I'm glad
(31:33):
you did it.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Honestly Again, you conquered some fears unbeknownst
to you, honestly right.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
And I would definitely recommend it.
But I would recommend payingthat extra $40 for anyone who's
going.
It is worth it to have someonewith you that just sort of knows
the right timing and you knowcan, can give you all the you
know confidence that you need toget in there.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Perfect, I love that advice, cause that's actually a
segue to my next question is,like with your trip to New
Zealand, what would dodifferently?
Would you do anythingdifferently?
Speaker 2 (32:11):
um, I don't know if I'd do anything.
I may have ventured out alittle from that Coromandel
Peninsula.
There is another place calledthe Bay of Islands, which is
further north, and I guess youwould say it was probably more
northwest of Auckland, whereasthe Coromandel is east and I
(32:34):
really wanted to go there.
They say that you can spotdolphins pretty easily from
there and if I had it to do overI probably would spend some
time in the Coromandel and thenhead to that Bay of Islands and
spend some time there.
But it is a more remote areaand so that sort of scared me
(32:54):
away a little bit.
You know I thought oh, you knowI'm already a little nervous
about being by myself and thisis you know, this area looks
very remote, but after beingthere and seeing it and seeing
how, how the people are sowelcoming and you know, nobody,
nobody's really paying attentionto you.
(33:16):
You know, like it's true,they're going through their own
lives and, yes, if you're there,great, and if you're not, they
don't really notice either way.
So if I I had it to do over, Iwould probably go to that Bay of
Islands.
Because when I got back, one ofmy friends came up to me and
said oh, I saw your pictures onInstagram.
(33:36):
You went to New Zealand.
Did you go to the Bay ofIslands?
You know, that was the firstthing out of her mouth.
I went, no, I didn't.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
But I'll go next time .
Next time, Right, and you, itsounds like, as you recommended,
that you know maybe allowingmore time if you plan to see.
You know both parts of theisland.
You know the North and theSouth part, but even just in
general, I mean, it sounds likeyou could have also just spent a
(34:03):
few more days in the North partof the you know the northern
island part.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
oh, definitely there's so much I didn't see um
I think the whole west coast isa whole different look and I
would have loved to have goneover there.
There's also a very famous umplace inland where they filmed
some of lord of the rings, andso I probably would have made
that stop.
A lot of people asked me if Iwent there and I'm not a big
lord of the rings fan, and so Iprobably would have made that
stop.
A lot of people asked me if Iwent there and I'm not a big
(34:28):
Lord of the Rings fan, so Ididn't carve out the time for
that, but it did look neat.
You know, I did hear people saywhether you are or are not a
fan.
This is a cool little place togo.
I think it's called Hobbit Town.
Oh my gosh.
Of course I'm sure there's many, many places, and there was, um
(34:50):
, there was a macadamia farm.
That macadamia nut farm that Iwas next to and I didn't know
anything about it.
And as I was leaving, I wasreading a little book on where I
was and I went oh my gosh, Iwas right next to that.
There, there's so much to doand see and there is Absolutely,
you can see it all.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
No, you can't.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Yeah, but I did make a good effort at it and still
had a good time.
I did a lot of hiking.
I saw a lot of beaches.
There was a really cool beachcalled New Chums Beach and the
only way that you could getthere was either to hike in or
to boat in, and so the Airbnbhost that I had at the first
(35:30):
stop recommended it.
They had a little book ofrecommended walks.
You know, as I say, an air boxyes, not, not hikes not hikes.
That was one of them, and I hadheard a little something about
it before I left, but I thoughtit was going to be a lot further
away than where I wasn'tactually wasn't, you know, it
was only about a 30 minute driveaway, so I thought I'm going to
.
I'm going to do that, and thatwas really awesome because it
(35:54):
was hard to get to and it wasjust the most beautiful secluded
beach, and so I probably spenttwo hours there and there was
never more than 12 other peopleon that beach.
It was just lovely.
It was a picnic, with me and myknitting.
I'm a knitter, so I was just ashappy as I could be.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Oh my gosh.
So I mean it sounds like youwould be up for doing another
solo trip.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Sounds like you would be up for doing another solo
trip, Absolutely.
When I got back I felt soaccomplished, I felt just sort
of liberated.
You know, it was just now.
I can go on these trips bymyself and of course I'm going
to choose, you know, somewherethat is safe you know, yeah,
like I love your shows wherethat you do on just suggestions
(36:49):
on where to go.
Those are my favorite onesbecause it gives you ideas on
areas that are safe for solofemale travelers.
And you know, I've got them onmy list now.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
You know, I mean New Zealand was absolutely perfect
for me because it's an Englishspeaking country, Correct, and
also it had all the things Ilove, you know water, hiking,
good food, nice people.
I was happy.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Yes, I've heard all that about New Zealand and
Australia as well, Like howwonderful it is, the people,
lots to do, like lots ofdifferent like you said you
experienced or could have.
You know, that's one of thereasons I advocate for solo
(37:47):
travel, right, Because I wantwomen to have the confidence to
go.
Obviously, but and youmentioned freedom use the word
freedom, it's one of my words, Ifeel when I do solo travel as
well.
So you know, I'm so impressedbecause that was a huge step for
you to take such courage andI'm hoping that what you've
(38:08):
shared today has really inspiredother women, because we have a
real life story about you goingfor your very first solo trip
internationally.
I might add, Right, and I alsowant to add folks that you know
Lee is married, as she mentionedbefore, so you don't have to be
single to do a solo trip, andfor her it was just, you know
(38:31):
she advocated to go, so she hadto.
You know, pitch that to herhusband and other, probably
friends or family, and you knowshe picked a good, safe place.
You know to get her research,and so look, she is a testimony
of just how amazing a solo tripcould be.
And even though you got alittle scared there with the
(38:53):
kayaking thing you overcame thatand look at the beauty that you
saw.
I mean I, I'm going to have tohave you send me one of those
pictures of you in the in thevolcano Cause I haven't seen it.
That would be amazing.
So any other like tips?
Since you've done your firstsolo trip, is there anything you
wish?
You knew beforehand that youkind of have figured out now.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
You know, I think I will say, and the fact that you
brought up the point that I'mmarried, say, and the fact that
you brought up the point thatI'm married, I'm married to a
very capable person and he's oneof those guys that can fix
anything and anything thatbreaks, you know, whether it's
your computer or your washingmachine, or your car breaks down
.
And so we've been married forover 20 years and I felt like I
(39:43):
had lost some of my independence, almost a little, because we
all the kids and I, we all deferto dad.
If something breaks, dad canfix it and he's always the
driver.
When we go on a trip, he'salways the driver, and so for me
(40:05):
it was regaining some of that.
I didn't realize how much Irelied on him, you know, until I
was by myself, and, and andthat's really you know I lived
by myself for eight years beforewe got married, and so when
you're by yourself, you have todo everything yourself.
You don't have anyone else todo that stuff for you, and so
(40:28):
that was difficult for me atfirst, and you know, and I even
shot him a text and said youknow, one thing I've learned is
that I take you for granted andthat I rely on you too much, and
so it's good for you, you know,even if you are married, to
have this time apart where youcan sort of, you know,
appreciate each other andappreciate your family, because
(40:50):
when you're all together all thetime you sort of take each
other for granted.
So that sort of surprised me.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
I love that nugget of wisdom.
Actually I don't know if it'ssome sort of research they've
done.
But couples that it can relateto travel, but couples that have
their own sort of maybe anactivity that they do by
themselves are have healthiermarriages like when they have
that time whether like you said,whether it's like I'm going to
(41:22):
take a trip, you know, maybethey take a trip or they do
something else, or they havetheir guy friends, you have your
girlfriends, you know.
So I, I I believe that's whatyou've just experienced is also
gonna potentially, you know,like you said, gives you an
appreciation for your husband,right?
I love it, Love it, yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
But I do.
I do have two tips for yourlist.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Yes, please.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Okay and they're.
They're pretty basic, but ifyou're by yourself, you know,
are you nervous about being byyourself somewhere?
I always walk with purpose.
Do you know what I mean by that?
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
Don't be aloof, don't be on your phone, don't look
like you're lost, correct, looklike you know where you're going
and you know what you're doing,because those people are much
less likely to be bothered bysomeone else or to be approached
by someone else.
And then the other thing iswhen I was 18 and my older
(42:19):
brother, ben he's six yearsolder than me and I was about to
leave to go to college Shoutout to another Texan, ben.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Oh yay.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
He didn't come home for my high school graduation
and so he wanted to give me apiece of advice and I've taken
it with me my whole life andhe's very short but wise piece
of advice, lee don't ever putyourself in a stupid situation,
and I'm going to put a littlespin on it for adults Don't ever
(42:54):
put yourself in an unsafesituation.
You know.
So.
If you have a feeling, you knowespecially women, they have
this intuition If you feel likemaybe you shouldn't walk down
that street, then maybe youshouldn't walk down that street.
You know, listen to your innervoice and just sort of have
common sense when you travel.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
I love it.
How true.
It's kind of my motto too.
Oh, yes, I love it.
Well, lee, this has beenfabulous.
It's been very encouraging andenlightening.
I have to.
I guess I need to put NewZealand on my list, I mean you
know, so I have a top 10 listand since I'll be able to cross
(43:38):
one of those off, I'll have toadd New Zealand in there now.
So now I'll still have 10.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
But you know for sure , it's always shifting and
changing, but yes, oh yeah, samewith me.
But you know that that's good.
That'll just give us more tripsto go on.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Exactly.
I love it and I'm really hopingyour story encourages other
women to do the same, to get outthere, take that leap and, just
you know, do that solo trip,especially if they haven't yet.
I love it.
Thank you so much for your alsoyour wisdom and everything that
you shared here today.
I think it's definitely youknow worthy of you know, just
(44:16):
everybody listening.
I'm so thrilled.
Thank you for being on my show.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
Of course, thanks for having me on.
I had a blast.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
Oh, awesome.
Well, I hope you were trulyinspired by Lee's testimony her
story about her first solo tripto New Zealand and I hope you
get out there and do the same.
But if you are still feelingstuck and have this fear,
anxiety, feel overwhelmed withthe whole thought of doing a
(44:46):
solo trip, for whatever reason,I want you to book a call with
me so that I can, you know, help, guide you through that process
.
We can connect and make this areality for you.
And, who knows, maybe you willbe my next guest sharing your
story of your first solo trip.
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