July 8, 2025 • 54 mins
What happens when a woman who's lived like a "caged bird" for 25 years suddenly finds herself free? For Linda Magoon, freedom meant climbing mountains—specifically, all 48 of New Hampshire's 4,000-foot peaks.
After decades in a controlling marriage where asking permission was the norm and independence was punished with silent treatments and anger, Linda reached what she calls her "tipping point" in her mid-50s. With the help of a crisis counselor, she realized she was experiencing domestic violence, even without physical abuse. Six months later, she was divorced and facing the terrifying prospect of creating a life entirely her own.
That's when Linda rediscovered hiking. What started as a simple eight-mile solo trek became transformative medicine for her soul. Each summit conquered represented another step toward reclaiming her voice and identity. "The accomplishment of hiking a summit was in itself healing," she shares. Combined with a life-coaching program that introduced her to vision boards, affirmations, and the radical idea that it's okay to want things for yourself, Linda's mountain odyssey became the framework for her rebirth.
The journey wasn't without challenges. Linda had to learn crucial distinctions between fear ("that small voice telling you you're not good enough") and instinct ("when your head, heart, and gut align"). She navigated solo hiking safety, extreme weather, and even the public shame when her ex-husband was later arrested for serious crimes. Through it all, the mountains offered perspective and healing.
Today, Linda has transformed her experience into her book "Live Free and Hike: Finding Grace on 48 Summits" and recently embraced retirement with solo RV adventures. Her story reminds us that healing doesn't always come through traditional therapy—sometimes it arrives one step, one summit, one moment of freedom at a time.
Want to hear more inspiring stories of transformation through travel? Subscribe to our podcast and share your own journey of finding freedom through exploration.
Connect or follow Linda Magoon:
https://lindamagoon.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090537038032
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, sisters, how would you respond if you had
felt like a caged bird for 25years?
What would you do when you gotreleased from that cage?
Well, my guest today, lindaBagoon, will share her story of
just that.
After ending her 25-year toxicmarriage, linda hiked all 48 of
New Hampshire's 4,000 peaks orhigher in her mid-50s as her
(00:25):
post-divorce therapy which wascheaper than buying a sports car
, according to her and on thetrail she rediscovered her
strength, resilience and the joyof dry socks.
I'm with you on that.
With each summit climbed, lindafound the strength to overcome
the anguish and uncertaintysurrounding the worst period of
her life, and Linda chroniclesthose in her book called Live
(00:49):
Free and Hike Finding Grace on48 Summits.
She is passionate aboutmotivating others to improve
their mental and emotionalwell-being through the healing
power of nature.
Well, linda, welcome to theshow.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Thank you for having me.
I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Yeah, so you have an incredible story.
I really enjoyed reading yourbook.
I am an avid hiker as well Well, maybe not as avid as you are
but I do enjoy hiking andgetting out in nature and so I
felt your story resonated withme too, as I'm also divorced.
So just hearing how you handledall of that uncertainty and it
(01:31):
was not a normal story.
So I'm going to let you kind ofshare a little bit of that.
But you ran across a lot ofchallenges in this whole
post-divorce you had a series ofevents that you actually that's
how you found solo travel.
So just tell us how that, howthat came about with your story
(01:55):
sure.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
So I, you know I I married fairly young in life and
I was fairly inexperienced inmy in my mid-20s, not too old,
and you know what you think is adoting husband.
Once you say I do, somehow andgradually turned into a very
(02:17):
controlling and jealous husband.
Right, and you know, over timethese are.
I don't know if your listenersare familiar with domestic
violence, but over time hestarted isolating me from my
friends.
If I wanted to go out, it waslike walking on eggshells trying
(02:38):
to ask him to do some.
You know, if I could dosomething, you know, without him
he would get very angry.
Uh, a lot of times he wouldgive me the silent treatment and
and would not speak to me forfor days or or sleep on the
couch and those were his, youknow, instead of communicating
though that was how he responded.
(03:00):
I think it wasn't until manyyears later that I figured out
that he was a narcissist, but atthat time, I think a lot of
victims feel that it's theirfault and that they're looking
at like what did I do wrong?
You know, how can I keep himhappy?
(03:20):
And so that's sort of themindset that you fall into
gradually over time, and so theidea of wanting something for
myself or doing something formyself came with consequences.
And so I had to put in my mind,I had to figure out well, is
(03:40):
this worth it?
Is it worth going out for aweekend with the girls out?
Well, is this worth it?
Is it worth going out for aweekend with the girls?
And if I wanted to do it badlyenough, then I would.
And then I would put up withthe jealousy and the silent
treatment and the sleeping onthe couch and then gradually he
would come around and we wouldstart talking again.
And so this lasted over a periodof many years and at some point
(04:05):
it becomes your normal.
I was very introverted and veryquiet.
I figured you know my parentsand my grandparents, well, you
(04:33):
know they, you know it was atill death.
Do you part marriage vow?
And I thought for many yearsthat well, I had my marriage vow
and plus that well, I had mymarriage vile.
And plus, you know, I thoughtabout leaving and went so far as
to get the divorce papers fromthe courts.
But it just became somethinglike.
(04:53):
That was just fearful for me, Iwas just afraid to do it.
It's very scary, right filingdivorce and you know how are you
going to support yourself?
Yes, right, all of those things.
And so very common with abusevictims.
It's just the devil, you know.
Right, it's just easier to staymarried rather than take that
(05:17):
big, bold step.
And finally, as I describe inmy book I think the first
chapter is called the TippingPoint People reach a tipping
point I don't know about youwhen you realize it's like wait
a minute, I've gone throughenough and I think I deserve
(05:37):
better came very much later inmy mid-50s, when my ex-husband
went into this swearing tiradein the middle of the night at me
and I thought, wait a minute, Ididn't do anything wrong, this
isn't how I should be living.
And when you go back and overtime and think about how I've
(05:59):
compensated and how I wasn'treally able to be my true self,
like like a caged bird, as yousay in your introduction yeah,
it was.
It was kind of a a watershedmoment for me.
And after that tipping point,what?
What started the the processrolling for me was I met with a
(06:24):
crisis counselor from work.
Now we're lucky enough to havethat support and it from the
questions she was asking.
It didn't take me long tofigure out that, even though my
ex-husband wasn't physical withme, I was being abused in
another way.
And it's still called domesticviolence, and even though it's
(06:46):
not it's not, you know, throwinglamps and plates and, and you
know, getting getting hurtphysically it's still a form of
power and control, whether it'sphysical or not.
So so after that, that, thatwas a very a turning point for
me, because I had never told asoul what he had done.
(07:07):
And here I am, for the firsttime, telling a complete
stranger what's going on.
And so she ended up connectingme with a therapist who was
experienced in these types ofrelationships, and with her
guidance, I told her, I think,that second visit.
I told her this is what I wantI want to file for divorce, I
(07:29):
don't want to stay married, Idon't want to work this out.
And so that's what I did.
And so six months later, I wasdivorced.
I was about I think it wasabout in my mid-50s, 54 or 55 at
the time.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
And like most bullies .
Speaker 2 (07:43):
My ex-husband didn't try to pull any antics.
I finally called him on hisbehavior and we managed to file
for divorce without that much.
We didn't go to trial, therewasn't a lot of drama about it,
and so we we managed to to split.
(08:03):
I moved out.
You know that was the firsttime I I really, you know, moved
out of our house and I foundthe experience.
You know it was very scary ofcourse, trying to find a place
of my own, trying to live onyour own now instead of you know
(08:24):
, splitting bills.
Now you're supporting yourself,right.
So all of that was brand new.
Telling people about my divorcewas horrible because I had kept
quiet for so long, so that wasdifficult.
But once I moved into my newplace and started to get into a
(08:50):
rhythm, that's when my worldopened up to me.
And that's when I discoveredhiking and I had forgotten that
I had liked it because it hadbeen so long since I really did
any serious hiking.
You know, I had this oldbeat-up backpack that I had in
the attic when I was moving outand I thought you know what,
(09:12):
let's try this.
And, Cheryl, the experience wasso exhilarating, I think just
trying something new and beingable to do what I wanted to do
without walking on eggshells andhow is he going to react and
ask for permission?
I mean, it must sound weird toyour listeners, but for somebody
who was trapped for so long, itwas the best experience.
(09:39):
Going on a solo eight-mile hikeby myself.
Can I do this?
I'd never been on a walk thatlong before and you know, when
you get back down from themountain, it was.
It was just the most incredibleexperience.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
It is.
I'm so happy that you know youshared in your book how you
rediscovered and you justmentioned that like it was
something you had done a longtime ago.
This like you had done one hike.
I love that.
You found that again.
You rediscovered that.
Now you know, post-divorce youstarted doing these hikes and
you were doing them solo with,without you know, having to get
(10:16):
anything.
And you know, I think for you,doing anything like that may
have it's kind of an adjustment,like you said, because it was
forbidden before you had to askfor permission.
But so how did you adjust tothe idea of just, you know, I
get to do this on my own terms,solo hiking, doing what you
desired after all those years.
(10:37):
So what was that?
That sort of transformation?
You know, how did you adjust tothat idea?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Yeah, well, it took some.
It took some help.
I wasn't even six months aftermy divorce.
It was in December, it wasafter Christmas, and I was
putting some Christmasdecorations away with, you know,
rolling up newspaper, and Icame upon a press release from a
(11:03):
life coach and it was a storyabout a six-week workshop called
Be the Best you.
And if I was married, there'dbe no question that there's no
way I would be able to spend onenight a week for six weeks
trying to be the best you, right?
(11:23):
So I was really intrigued bythis and so, rather than sign up
, I thought well, maybe I'llcall this life coach.
Her name is Emily Clement.
I'm going to call her on it.
It's a Sunday afternoon, I'msure the workshop will be filled
, and it's a little scary tryingto determine whether to sign up
(11:46):
for this.
I mean, what does this be thebest you?
So I thought you know what?
I'll just call her up on aSunday afternoon, leave a
voicemail, and she won't callback and I won't go, and it'll
be fine.
So I call.
It's a Sunday afternoon.
So I call, it's a Sundayafternoon.
And, wouldn't you know it, sheanswers her phone.
Oh no.
(12:07):
So I explained my story alittle bit and my situation and
she was like, oh no, you needthis workshop and so I signed up
for it.
And that was reallylife-changing, cheryl.
You know, your therapist helpsyou with your backstory and kind
of goes into your past andtries to figure out what you
(12:30):
know, what trauma you may havehad or what makes you act the
way you do today, While a lifecoach goes in a totally
different direction.
They meet you where you're atand try to help you determine
what you want, what are yourgoals and how you can move
forward.
So I thought this is exactlywhat I need.
(12:52):
I need somebody to help me moveforward, and that's exactly
what we worked on for the nextsix weeks, and the idea that the
universe was of abundantcreativity and a mass abundance
and, would you know, help meachieve what I wanted to was
(13:14):
just a mind blowing concept forme.
It's just like no one had evertold me that it was OK to want
Right, because, you know, if wewanted something, we're greedy,
we're selfish, we're only.
You know, we're only.
We're not thinking of others.
So this was just.
I had never heard of theconcept of a vision board where
(13:40):
you cut things out of a magazineand you put it on a you know,
put it on a poster board andlook at it every day.
Never heard of that, you know,put it on a poster board and
look at it every day.
Never heard of that.
Never heard of affirmationswhere you write a statement and
the statement is worded as ifyou already have it right.
So instead of writing anaffirmation that says, you know,
I want to lose 10 pounds, youwrite an affirmation that says I
(14:04):
drink 30 ounces of water dailyand put healthy foods in my body
.
And so those types of ideas andvision boards, affirmations,
you know, practicing gratitudethese were things I had never
heard of and I was absolutelyhooked.
So on the first day of class, wehad to write on a post-it note
(14:27):
what our dream was, what wewanted, and we had to put it up
for the class for everyone toread and see.
And my post-it and I still haveit is hike the 4,000 footers of
New Hampshire and write a bookabout it to inspire others.
That was my post-it note.
(14:47):
And so you know, other folkswrote about you know they maybe,
perhaps they wanted a new car,or a lot of folks wanted to
start a new business, quit theirjob, solo travel.
So it was just interesting toread about what everybody,
everyone else, wanted.
So, uh, so that was the firsttime I'd ever told anybody what
(15:10):
I wanted to do.
So now I felt a measure ofaccountability, right, you know,
when we met each week we kindof had to update folks on on
what.
Yeah, so that's, that's whatinspired me to really start
hiking these 4,000 photos wasthis accountability of telling
others.
And many of them, the majorityof them, I did solo, by myself.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Yes, yes, I did read that.
Yeah, so I think that's a veryhuge goal, huge dream for you to
do that huge goal, huge dreamfor you to do that um.
And you know, during some ofthose hikes you experienced some
obstacles, anxiety, evendisappointment.
I mean, like you said, some ofthem, most of them, you did solo
, um, but when the ones you weredoing solo, how did you
(15:57):
mentally handle those situations?
Or, you know, could you give anexample, like something that
happened that you had to dealwith because you know it's you,
you don't deal with Because youdon't know what you're expecting
, right, I mean you just neverknow.
Sure yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I have many examples throughout the barrel, I'm sure
Pick one.
I don't make the same mistaketwice.
I like to make it six or sevenor eight times, just so I learn.
But I didn't have a lot of highsummit experience, even though
4,000, 5,000, 6,000 feet may notsound that high.
(16:34):
Here in New Hampshire a lot ofthese summits are exposed,
there's no trees and we'resubject to, just because of our
location, very rapid shifts inthe weather.
So the weather can be nice andsunny at the bottom and it can
be literally snowing at thesummit.
So you really have to preparefor that right.
(16:56):
And the elevation gain in sucha short distance is also very
arduous.
Gain in such a short distanceis also very arduous.
You know.
A lot of people hike MountWashington, which is our highest
peak here in New Hampshire, asa way to train for other alpine
ascents.
It's a good training groundbecause we're known for the
(17:17):
worst weather in the world.
On top of Mount Washington it'sthe highest wind gust.
You know, it's just.
The conditions can change veryrapidly.
So when I was starting out, I,you know, I didn't really know
what I was doing.
I was wearing the wrong clothes.
You know I was wearing, likeyou know, cotton pants and an
(17:38):
Elmer Fudd cap.
And you know people were givingme strange looks and just kind
of like moving around me.
My pants are falling down.
But with each hike you learn alittle bit more, you read a
little bit more.
I took an outdoor survivalclass, which was very helpful,
but I think the majority, thereason why I did the majority of
(17:59):
these alone, are for a coupleof reasons.
One is that I was in theprocess of trying to find my
autonomy.
And I didn't want to.
You know, I really wanted to dothese by myself, just just, it
was like a sense of freedom forme it was like it was like like
being released from the cageright you?
just want to fly off.
(18:20):
And the second reason was wasmore logistical, in that
sometimes I would go during theweek and if it was a nice day
and I didn't have any meetings,it was.
It was like, okay, I'll, I'll,I'll try this particular summit.
I think what was instrumentaland and helping me stay on this
(18:44):
goal was that I had this hugemap of the White Mountains and
the 48 4,000-footers and everytime I hiked a summit I would
put a little pushpin in the mapand study it and figure out
where I wanted to go next.
And I didn't realize it at thetime, but that was a big vision
(19:04):
board.
I could hang it anywhere in thehouse.
I wanted to right, I had ithung in my bedroom.
I could hang it anywhere Iwanted to and not worry about,
you know, someone seeing it orsomeone criticizing it or saying
, what do you want to do thatfor?
And so there was a real, youknow, sense of freedom.
And so there was a real, youknow, sense of freedom.
(19:28):
So there was a sense of freedomfor not only trying to
accomplish this, but just beingout in nature alone is just so
healing, as I'm sure yourlisteners can appreciate, you
know it's, it's the idea ofdoing something physical, maybe
feeling the edges of yourcomfort zone, but not quite.
You know getting into trouble,you know just trying to trying
to do something new.
(19:50):
The the, the accomplishment of,of hiking, a summit or or you
know, that was in itself healing.
And when you start on a, on alittle adventure, you know some
of these.
The average, I would say mostof these hikes are between eight
and ten miles.
Some are longer, some areshorter, but when you're first
(20:12):
starting out you have all ofthis monkey chatter in your head
like how am I going to navigatemy divorce and how am I going
to live, and what am I going todo for retirement, all this
little stuff.
And by the time you get to thetop, you know all of that sort
of falls away right, yes,exactly able to enjoy the trees
(20:34):
and the sounds of the birdssinging, and just especially if,
once you reach the summit andyou and you look over, you know
you can look into vermont orcanada, or into maine, and and
you realize, uh, you're.
You're very tiny but you're ontop of this huge landscape that
very few people get to see, andif I had still been married,
(20:55):
there was no way I would be ableto uh, see these sites that, uh
, you know I was, I was nowseeing.
So for traveling it was, it wasboth logistical, but it was
also a way of finding andrediscovering myself too, and
healing.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Yeah, so, and you mentioned I love the you
mentioned chapter 34, like whyyou preferred hiking alone.
And you used a phrase which Ilove called, you know, finding
your voice during this process.
So in what you just explainedto like there's, I feel like
(21:35):
there's this confidence boosterthat happens when you're doing
these kind of things.
A you said it's getting youslightly out of your comfort
zone, as you mentioned kind ofthings.
A you said it's getting youslightly out of your comfort
zone, as you mentioned, you'redoing something new.
You're accomplishing a hugedeal because you know not many
people have done that.
So would you agree that thiswas all part of you finding your
(21:57):
voice?
And now I mean, look whatyou're doing now.
I mean you've written a bookabout it to help other people.
So I mean that's just.
I feel that's remarkable andhow you've discovered that
healing in solo hiking.
And it doesn't have to be.
You know many people.
I obviously love solo hiking,but also solo travel, which is
(22:18):
what my podcast is about.
But it is you.
You didn't go far Like you hadthis.
You had all of New Hampshirebecause you're from New.
Go far like you had this.
You had all of new hampshirebecause you're from new
hampshire like accessible to youand that's remarkable and, as
you said, not many people havethat access.
So, um, I appreciate this.
Just encouraging people to tolike use what's nearby is is, I
(22:40):
think, would be a great idea foranybody that is maybe starting
that process for themselves.
Would you agree with that?
Speaker 2 (22:48):
oh, absolutely, cheryl.
I you know you don't have totravel to the.
You know the end of the worldto be inspired right, or or to
new hampshire.
Uh, you know, check out your,check out your backyard, right I
tell people who are, who arestruggling maybe with some
(23:08):
mentally or emotionally, and Ithink, just going out for a walk
in nature, right, just findinga nearby park, or or sometimes
you know, you know I there weretimes where I really struggled
with depression and found ithard to get out of bed.
And so, you know, on those daysI would just, you know, my goal
(23:31):
was okay, I'm just going to getout of bed and just take, you
know, take a one hour at a time,right, we'll get out of bed and
I'll take a shower.
Oh, that felt good, yeah, okayNow, now I'm going to get
dressed in some nice clothes andget out of my pajamas.
Okay, I'll do that and justtake those baby steps and that.
(23:52):
That, really that mindset,really helped me, because it was
, there were times where Ireally struggled and it seemed
daunting to get up and go towork.
It just seemed like it was.
There were times where I reallystruggled and it seemed
daunting to get up and go towork.
It just seemed like it was justtoo much, and so I would just
break it down into really small,small tasks.
Okay, that was good.
Now I'm going to eat healthyfood or, you know, have, you
(24:14):
know, instead of going throughthe drive-through, I'm going to,
you know, make something, orhave an apple, have a banana.
Have a snack or something, andthen that would make me feel
better and then just try to takethat.
And it was the same way withhiking.
It seemed very daunting to hikesome of these peaks that are
(24:36):
4,000 or 5,000 feet.
There are many miles.
I did these all year round,even during the winter.
Some of these peaks are four orfive thousand feet there.
There are many miles, you, youknow, I did these all year round
, even during the winter.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
I know remarkable.
I just I couldn't do that.
I just couldn't do that yeah,well, it was I.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
only I.
I got smart.
You know, there's a, there's achapter where I I almost, I
almost get, get, get really intosome trouble, and that kind of
smartened me up and I decided toonly do these on bluebird days
where I could really have a view.
But it was the same thing withhiking.
It's like, oh, this is verydaunting, but I'm just going to
(25:11):
decide where to go.
Okay, now I'm going to pack mypack, now I'm going to drive to
the hill and just take it likeliterally one step at a time,
and if you just break it downinto those small steps, you feel
a little bit of accomplishmentwith each like yeah, and then,
and and that's how I managed topublish the book as well it's
(25:33):
just like, okay, I'll just, I'lljust work on this chapter, I'll
.
You know again, I had a visionboard and I had a, you know,
used, used a lot of my lifecoachy things.
You know, there's there's a lotof woo, woo, life coachy tips
in the book for folks.
You know, even if you don'tlike hiking, it's a lot of those
tips, and if you do like hiking, I provide a lot of tips just
(25:57):
because I made so many mistakesand you can kind of learn.
Learn from me, don't make thosemistakes, learn, I already made
them.
So go and learn from me.
And so that's how I managed todo it.
And I think doing it solo wasvery important to me because, as
you mentioned, there were timeswhen I did go with other folks.
(26:17):
I enjoyed their companyimmensely.
For some of these highersummits it's the safest thing to
do.
But I lost my sense of autonomybecause when I went there was
never a discussion of wherewe're going to go, what trail
we're going to take.
It was okay, we're going to doMount Adams and we're leaving on
Sunday at 7 am.
we're going to do Mount Adamsand we're leaving on Sunday at 7
(26:40):
am and we're going to take thistrail and if you want to come,
terrific and let's meet here.
So I never passed that up.
I appreciated folks asking meto go along with them, but I
also felt like these were, thesewere really peak baggers and
(27:01):
these, you know, the folks Iwent with moved very fast and I
felt like I had to prove myself.
I felt like I couldn't stop andtake pictures or or or admire a
certain tree, or you know.
I felt like I had to keep upwith the group and I and I had
that feeling that I was losingmy freedom again.
(27:21):
You know it's kind of weird,like I don't have any say in
this, you know, and and yeah, soso for me, the solo hiking
aspect of it was was much moreenjoyable for me and you know, I
know you had a recent uhepisode about safety and uh, I
think uh there safety and Ithink for women who travel solo,
(27:44):
I think that's a real concern.
That's the most common questionI get at book talks is well, oh,
that's terrible, you were goingout there alone.
What would have happened?
You could have gotten hurt.
Or, as my mother said, youcould going out there alone.
You know what, you know whatwould have happened.
Or you could have gotten hurt,or or, as my mother said, you
(28:05):
know you could die up there.
Yeah, but which is true, I mean, she wasn't wrong, but I think
I mean.
But there are things to do tomitigate risk, right, whether
you, whether you're hiking soloor traveling solo, you do.
Your do the best you can.
You carry a good first aid kit.
You equip yourself withknowledge.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Like I said.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
I took a woman's survival course, that's amazing.
That was just for women.
It was great because there's noegos right, we're all trying to
struggle to light a fire and itwas so much fun, right?
So you equip yourself with theright equipment, with the right
knowledge, and even thoughyou're traveling alone, hiking
(28:48):
these 4,000 footers is sopopular that you know if you get
hurt or if you fall, somebodyis going to come upon you.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Yeah, there's usually other people no question.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, unless'susually no question.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Yeah, yeah, you know unless you get hopelessly lost,
you know somebody, somebody willfind you, uh, so yeah, so it's
not.
It's not scary at all uh yeah,so you know you do what you can
to to, like I said, minimize therisk and and you know,
knowledge and the rightequipment and, uh, you know,
(29:21):
bring technology with you,whether it's a, uh, like a cell
phone or some sort of satellitecommunication device or
something.
And just try to make yourself,you know, as safe as possible,
and you'll be, you'll be okay.
You know the mountain will bethere if the weather's bad and
you're not having.
You know there was.
There were times when I justwasn't feeling it and that's you
(29:44):
know.
Trust your instinct.
And it took some time for me totrust my instinct because I
couldn't discern that from fearright.
I lived in fear for so long thatyou know, fear is that small
voice that tells you that you'renot good enough, or that you're
too old, or you're too out ofshape or you can't do it.
(30:05):
And instinct is that smallvoice where your head and your
heart and your gut are all inalignment and they're saying no,
this is not the day to do thismountain.
And so for me, that was alittle bit of a a struggle to
differentiate between those two,between fear and instinct, but
(30:25):
gradually, over time, I Ilearned to trust my instinct,
and, and uh, I'm sure other solotravelers do too, or?
so maybe sometimes yeah, likemaybe I don't want to hit the
road today.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
You know it's raining or something like that, and uh,
you just yeah you just beflexible yeah, I like to say
it's um, it's like a muscle andthat you when you practice it
more, it gets stronger.
Meaning like you, like you said, maybe that you get better at
um listening to your gut or yourintuition, or you get better at
(30:57):
um.
You said being prepared.
Right, you get that knowledge,you know, because you learn from
your mistakes, as you mentioned.
You know, or just like safetythings too, that you mentioned.
I love that.
Thank you for bringing that upbecause, um, even even though
you know solo hiking you're,you're not going far, you're
going eight, ten miles orwhatever um, there's still some
(31:20):
safety issues that you probablyneed to be concerned about.
It could be animals, right?
Did you ever come acrossanimals you?
Speaker 2 (31:26):
know I get that question a lot.
I mean I hate to disappointpeople and say that you know, I
never had to outrun a bear or amoose.
I did run into a juvenile mooseon the trail at one point and
they can be a littleunpredictable because it was in
(31:47):
the spring.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
And I think this.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
The mom had just kicked the moose out of the nest
and said you know you need to,you need to go out on your own.
He was a little gangly.
You know most of just all legsand head.
Right, it's a little ganglyMoose, are just all legs and
head right.
They're just a little gangly.
He didn't know what to do andso eventually he did nothing and
then sauntered off, but likemoose.
People ask if I've ever beenscared off by a bear, and over
(32:13):
here we have black bears andthey're not that.
They're kind of skittish mostof them, but it's the moose that
are yes, I've traveled in newhampshire and I remember seeing
road signs that say you knowmoose crossings or whatever, and
I actually wanted to see.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
I mean, I didn't want to hit them with my car,
obviously, but I just was like,wow, a moose.
I've never seen a moose.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Yeah, I mean moose car collisions are a thing.
Yeah, because, because theytravel at night and because
they're all legs many times youdon't see them because all
you're looking at are theirskinny little legs, not their
body which is huge and yeah yeah, and so you know, uh, they've
(32:56):
been.
Yeah, yeah, most car collisionsis a thing, especially at night
.
So wow, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
But but you know they've been.
Yeah, moose car collisions is athing, especially at night.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Oh, wow, yeah, yeah.
But you know, just to go backto safety one more time yeah,
absolutely, there's a lot offolks that, a lot of women that
solo backpack and they do justfine.
I'm just too old to sleep onthe ground.
I've done it a few times, I'vedone it a few times, but I think
what it comes down to whetheryou're backpacking, hiking,
traveling, walking down thestreet is just situational
(33:26):
awareness, right?
It's just being aware of yoursurroundings.
You know who's behind you onthe trail.
You know you don't have to besuspicious of everybody, but you
just want to take note.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
You know, whether you're.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
You know, what I like to do when I'm on the trail is
I'll play a game with myself andon the way up I'll mentally
note you know I crossed a bridgehere, or there was an
outcropping of rocks here, andyou know there crossed a bridge
here, or there was anoutcropping of rocks here and
you know there was this signthere.
So when I'm going back down thetrail and I'm tired and just
(34:08):
and just, you know, I'll try toplay that game.
It's like, ok, I just hit thatrock outcropping, I should be
expecting a bridge next and justbeing kind of aware of your
surroundings, not only of of ofnature, but but who you're
encountered to.
And so I mean, I think, I thinkthat's, um, something I take
with me, whether you know you'reat the mall or or or on the
(34:33):
trail.
It's just always besituationally aware, right,
where's you know.
It's just, it's just out ofhabit, I guess it's like where,
if I'm in a if.
I'm in an auditorium.
It's like where's the exits,where?
What would happen if there was,you know, a fire?
How would I get out?
That?
That's it, that type of thing.
And the more you practice that,I think, the the the better
(34:54):
traveler you are.
You know, and you have lessfear, so you feel more confident
.
I think right, yeah, right, Imean absolutely.
You know simple things likealways knowing where your car
keys are.
I always, I always had my carkeys in a certain place in my
back, you know.
I just knew where everythingwas yeah, and it just makes you
more confident and just just asafer.
(35:15):
A safer traveler, yes, very good, did you have?
Speaker 1 (35:19):
any experience any?
You know you started this inyour mid-50s.
Did you experience you talked alittle?
A safer traveler yes, very good.
Did you have any experience any?
You know you started this inyour mid fifties.
Did you experience you talked alittle about like fear but
naysayers, like people thatheard what you were doing and
thought, well, you're too oldfor this right.
Have you ever?
Speaker 2 (35:35):
did you ever come across anybody that kind of gave
you that, that that indicationthat they thought well you're
crazy and you're too old oranything that would be, you know
, maybe make you feel insecureor just like question what you
(35:56):
were doing, maybe Not during thetime I was doing it.
Never to my face many yearslater I I would hear anecdotally
or second or third hand, like Ican't believe you did that or I
can't believe you'd want to dothat, and it's like you know,
I'm sure people thought of it,but they never they never, uh,
expressed it to me and I don't.
(36:16):
I don't know if it would havemattered, ch Cheryl I was just
determined to do it, and that'sthe voice of fear talking right,
and you want to surroundyourself with people that
support you and love you, andthat's what I've been able to do
since I've been divorced.
(36:37):
I've been, I've been very luckyto not only, uh, strengthen the
friendships that I had like inhigh school before I was married
, but but to make a new, newfriends, you know, yeah, I'm
still, you know.
I'm still connected with my,with my life coach, and she's.
She created this community ofwomen that you know.
(37:00):
We were accountable to oneanother, we support one another
and we're you know, we're herefor one another and that type of
camaraderie is just, you know,you can't replace that.
It's just, yeah, that's thetype of people you want to
surround yourself with.
That's the type of people youwant to surround yourself with,
(37:26):
especially practicing gratitudebeing so thankful, being
thankful for my health.
Yes, right, yeah.
People ask me well, did you gethurt?
And I was like nah, I never gothurt.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
That's remarkable.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
I never even got a scratch.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
I mean, somebody was watching over me.
For sure the universe had myback at the end of the day,
because I could have got this.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
It's so easy to get hurt.
You just slip and fall and andnow you, you have to be carried
out and I, just, I, just I nevergot a scratch.
I just went up and down andlike one one one.
That's how I did it.
It was just people ask how Idid it.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
And it was just literally one step at a time.
Yeah well, the New HampshireWhite Mountains seems to offer
you such a great space to healand grow in different levels and
for anybody who's actuallywalked through uh, trauma or
grief or we didn't even touch onwhat happened to your husband
after you got divorced, butthere was shame, that kind of
came alongside that and we allwe both know, and anybody that's
(38:26):
been through that, that this isall.
It's a process to kind of movethrough those, whether it's
trauma, grief coming out of youknow that, controlling marriage
for you and stuff.
But we all want closure in asense right, so that we can move
forward from our past.
As you said, like your lifecoach was helping you kind of do
(38:47):
that, look forward.
You know what?
How did you?
I mean it's a process, but haveyou come to a point where you
feel like you actually haveclosure from all that and how
long did that take you?
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Yeah, yeah, great question.
I'm not sure about the wordclosure.
I don't think there.
I don't know if you ever talkedto other trauma survivors, but
I'm not sure if closure is everthe right word.
Trauma survivors, but I'm notsure if closure is ever the
(39:22):
right word.
Uh, you know, my, my life coachwrote, and she wrote the
foreword for the book and Ithink her, her sentence, sums it
up nicely and and it is, youknow, you, you're, you're
writing from the scar, not thewound, right.
So I think there's always ascar that will be there and you
grow around it.
(39:43):
It's kind of like the piece ofsand in the oyster right.
The piece of sand isn't part ofthe oyster right, but you grow
around it and eventually youknow there's no closure there,
but eventually you knowsomething beautiful comes comes
out of that, and so I I enjoy,uh, taking folks out on on local
(40:04):
hikes here in New Hampshirethat are just starting out and
maybe they they don't have theum confidence and they they want
somebody to hike with them, andyou know, I enjoy doing that.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
And.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
I'm also.
You know, if someone wants toreach out to me and say, yeah,
I'm doing this 4,000 footer, youknow, do you want to come with
me?
I'd be like.
Yeah, I'd be happy to you knowif people are looking for for
for an extra person to come togo with them, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
I'm, I'm there.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
And so question I, you know, as you mentioned, you
know I don't want to spoil itfor you, no, let me, I think in
your book.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
You actually on page 264, you actually said, instead
of seeking closure, what Ishould be seeking is grace or
compassion for the unworthy.
So you know, I think thatactually honestly, that I think
that sums it up, is what youknow.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
You kind of said the closure is not the right word
Right, you answered it betterthan I did.
Yes, yes, yeah, so my husband,unknown to me, shortly after we
were divorced, my ex-husband wasarrested and charged with some
unspeakable crimes, and sothat's where the title of the
book comes from is Finding Graceon 48 Summits.
(41:23):
Right.
So you know, grace iscompassion and forgiveness for
the unworthy, and, honestly,there's probably no one more
unworthy than him for what hedid.
But that you know, forgivenessisn't for him, it's for yourself
(41:46):
right.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Yeah, I love that phrase too you know the same
thing with resentment.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
It was just.
You know it's easy to go to beresentful and angry and you know
seething, but it's just socounterproductive and just so
negative that you're onlyhurting yourself.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
It's wasting your energy too.
Exactly, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
It's just negative.
It's just negativity and youknow it's just not.
It's just negativity and it's,and you know it's, it's just not
going to do any any good, Ithink.
I think the anger was part ofthe journey, right?
So you know the part of thebook.
You know I detail the processthat I went through being being
(42:35):
the ex-wife of somebody that wasin the newspaper every other
day, and so this it's very muchlike the grieving process where
there's shock and anger anddisbelief and it's like this
couldn't have happened, and andbargaining, and then eventually
there's there's acceptance, andthen there's there's the grace.
(42:55):
Yeah so, yeah, so I, I, you know, there's acceptance, and then
there's there's the grace.
Yeah, so, you know, for mybenefit, I don't have any
contact with him.
You know he'll be in prison fora long time and it just does
not.
It just does not.
it just does not benefit me yeah, exactly and if I were, it
(43:18):
would be, it would be to servehim, and I felt like I've done
that.
Yeah, I've done that for a longtime.
You know this.
These were his things that hedid.
Uh, that I, I did not know andI have no responsibility for him
.
Uh, and you know, just tryingto, just trying to navigate that
(43:38):
court process.
It was over three years and youknow that was a large part of
the time period when I washiking.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
You were hiking.
Yeah, exactly yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
And I was still doing that.
And hiking became even morebeneficial during that time
because there were times, like Isaid, when I, when there was a
headline in the paper and I waskind of thrown, I had no idea
because I'm not, I'm notinvolved in the criminal process
, I'm not a victim, I'm not awitness, I'm just a.
I am a complete unknown, acomplete outsider so it's
(44:12):
nothing.
so when I it would make aheadline and I was just like how
can I go to work, how can Iface all my coworkers, how can I
face my family, how can I facemy friends?
And and I and I learned, Ilearned different coping
mechanisms, court to see whenthe next thing was, so I would
(44:37):
be prepared when the newspaperswere reporting it when is his
trial, when is that going tohappen?
And I just was better able toarm myself so I wasn't so
blindsided.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Those were skills that you actually learned.
Hiking you talked aboutbeforehand being prepared you
know like so you brought it backin to help you navigate that
season so yeah, that's a skillyou learned very I love that
yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
Yeah, I mean, I mean with yeah, I mean your podcast
is is, you know, solo travelingand and solo is good, but but it
would took a little.
It's a process for for mepersonally to ask for help.
You know, if you're solotraveling and you're in, you're
running into a situation, Idon't know, flat tire, you know
(45:31):
I have I purchased a traveltrailer and so I do a lot of
trailering solo.
But if you run into a problem,you know, sometimes you just
have to ask for help and and notbe a martyr and you know, and
and it's the same thing whenyou're going through an
emotional journey as well.
You know, it was hard for me toask for help, and it's it's, you
(45:52):
know, but I'm, I'm gettingbetter at it, right?
Uh, it's not, you know, healthypeople, healthy people ask for
help, right?
So?
Speaker 1 (46:00):
so I like that yeah yeah, so, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
So, whether you're listeners or viewers, uh, ask
for help.
I there's no shame.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
There's no shame in asking for help for sure yes,
thank you for reiterating thatyeah I think we get this whole
like pride thing too, because wewere doing this solo.
We want to do it our way, youknow.
We want to show that we can doit solo.
But you know, even those thatI've interviewed that have solo
(46:31):
traveled, one of the mostimportant things that they have
shared is not the solo part,which is great, but how they've
either connected with communityor they've connected with, met
somebody or had an encounterwith somebody.
So it is about humaninteraction and whether you are,
(46:52):
like you said, hiking alone orwith somebody, um, you know
there's interaction.
You'll ask people right and so,yeah, I love that it's important
that we we acknowledge that too, even though we are by
ourselves, that there's otherpeople around, as you mentioned.
Sure that we're not reallyalone, right?
Speaker 2 (47:13):
no, no.
On some of these hikes I startedout as solo and I would catch
up, or somebody would catch upto me that was also solo solo
hiking yeah, and we had, and wehad the same pace, yeah, and you
know, you know there's a,there's a connection and and it
really makes the miles go by alittle bit faster.
(47:33):
Uh, you learn, you learn thingsfrom things from folks that
were more experienced than me,and I didn't, you know, I just
don't have any.
There's no pride here, there'sno ego in this corner, and so if
I didn't know something, Iwould just ask yeah, I have a
sense of humor about it and yeah, people are super helpful.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
I think the traveling hiking community is super
helpful.
Traveling the RV community issuper helpful.
You know, like I said, I boughta travel trailer during COVID
Okay, this was going to be myretirement was to travel in my
travel trailer and during thethe lockdown, my uh friend of
(48:19):
mine says, well, why don't youbuy it now, and that way, there
you can at least get going withit and you know when it's time
to retire.
You'll, you'll, you'll have thatexperience and and, uh, you
know you'll be kind of a aheadof the game and that she was
right.
That's exactly what I did andand you know I watched a lot of
(48:41):
YouTube videos, did a lot ofreading, you know, did as much
research as you as you can, andyou know you still make mistakes
because you don't you don'tknow what you don't know, you
know so but yeah, that's mylatest adventure is I like to?
Speaker 1 (48:53):
go out.
I was just going to ask youwhat.
What are you working on rightnow and where are you so?
Speaker 2 (48:58):
I, uh, I retired a month ago.
That was my long time goal.
Yeah, congratulations, thankyou yeah, again, today is like
the 30-day anniversary, so Ifeel like I'm I feel like I'm in
vacation mode, like yeah, yeah,so, yeah.
So I did buy the RV during thelockdown in 2020 or 2021.
And so up till now I've been aweekend warrior with it right.
(49:23):
Okay, because I was working fulltime.
Yeah, going on trips not toofar, but I go solo sometimes.
I did a lot of work on my bookon solo RV trips in terms of
editing.
It was quiet, there were nodistractions, it was just like
my little writing office.
(49:44):
And so I just came back from amusic festival over the weekend
in Vermont.
That was fantastic.
I mean you're right.
I mean, I think, even thoughyou're traveling solo, there's
there is that community, there'sthe music community, the RV
community, the hiking community.
And as much as I like my, myalone time, because I still
(50:08):
treasure it.
You know, we all have to, weall crave that human connection
on some level as well.
So yeah, so that was the bestof both worlds is music and, and
going to camping out at acampground was just.
It was just a fun, fun weekend.
Speaker 1 (50:25):
Oh, that's incredible and congrats on the retirement.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
Thank you, thank you, yeah One day, I'll get there
Right.
Yeah, I.
I mean, I had been planning forit for like shortly after my
divorce.
I decided that I I needed tofigure this out uh so yeah, so
I've been planning for for thelast 10 years or so, and so I I
fell victim to that one moreyear syndrome.
(50:51):
I originally wanted to do it in2023, but here we are, uh, uh
so.
Speaker 1 (50:56):
I, I did, yeah, I know other people that are in
that same situation.
Like one more year of teaching,yeah, I know.
Yeah, Well, I'm so happy foryou.
What, um, where can people findyou?
You know you have a book outand I think you have a website.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
Yeah, yeah, so I do have a website.
It's I thought of this one allby myself.
It's my name.
It's Linda Magooncom.
That's L I N D A M A G O O Ncom.
You can order my book throughAmazon.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
If you're not into Amazon.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
that's fine.
I just reach out through mywebsite.
I'd be happy to send you asigned copy.
My email I thought of this oneall by myself too is
lindamagoonauthor at gmailcom.
And also you can find me onFacebook, and that's
lindamagoonauthor on Facebook.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
Okay, Awesome, this has been so exciting.
Yeah, and here, wait, I'll justwell, I have um, oh there it is
.
There's what the book lookslike, folks so looking for it.
That's what it looks like thereand I enjoyed reading it.
And, linda, this has been soremarkable.
I thank you for um.
(52:15):
Linda, this has been soremarkable.
I thank you for sharing yourstory and I know there could be
parts that kind of may havebrought up some past things.
So I appreciate you beinghonest with everything that
happened to you and you knowyour book really dives a little
deeper into all that.
So if someone is interested inkind of hearing all the deets on
, you know all that she wentthrough.
(52:36):
It's pretty remarkable.
And look at you standing here.
I mean you're here havingcompleted the 48 peaks.
I mean that's just remarkable.
Speaker 2 (52:48):
I mean it's inspiring .
You get a little patch and atiny certificate.
Speaker 1 (52:55):
That was my motivation.
Speaker 2 (52:57):
It was that tiny little patch about the size of a
postage stamp, but I neededthat, I needed that validation.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
Yeah, I agree.
I think we all kind of needstuff like that to validate what
we've done and that hard, hardpath that we've, we've walked
for you, yeah.
So thank you for sharing yourjourney with me, and my audience
.
Speaker 2 (53:19):
Yeah, thank you for having me.
Uh, cheryl is a pleasure tomeet and chat with you and uh,
safe travels to all of yourviewers and listeners out there.
Thank you so much for listeningyes, thank you.
Well, sisters, how would you respond if you had
felt like a caged bird for 25years?
What would you do when you gotreleased from that cage?
Well, my guest today, lindaBagoon, will share her story of
just that.
After ending her 25-year toxicmarriage, linda hiked all 48 of
New Hampshire's 4,000 peaks orhigher in her mid-50s as her
(00:25):
post-divorce therapy which wascheaper than buying a sports car
, according to her and on thetrail she rediscovered her
strength, resilience and the joyof dry socks.
I'm with you on that.
With each summit climbed, lindafound the strength to overcome
the anguish and uncertaintysurrounding the worst period of
her life, and Linda chroniclesthose in her book called Live
(00:49):
Free and Hike Finding Grace on48 Summits.
She is passionate aboutmotivating others to improve
their mental and emotionalwell-being through the healing
power of nature.
Well, linda, welcome to theshow.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Thank you for having me.
I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Yeah, so you have an incredible story.
I really enjoyed reading yourbook.
I am an avid hiker as well Well, maybe not as avid as you are
but I do enjoy hiking andgetting out in nature and so I
felt your story resonated withme too, as I'm also divorced.
So just hearing how you handledall of that uncertainty and it
(01:31):
was not a normal story.
So I'm going to let you kind ofshare a little bit of that.
But you ran across a lot ofchallenges in this whole
post-divorce you had a series ofevents that you actually that's
how you found solo travel.
So just tell us how that, howthat came about with your story
(01:55):
sure.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
So I, you know I I married fairly young in life and
I was fairly inexperienced inmy in my mid-20s, not too old,
and you know what you think is adoting husband.
Once you say I do, somehow andgradually turned into a very
(02:17):
controlling and jealous husband.
Right, and you know, over timethese are.
I don't know if your listenersare familiar with domestic
violence, but over time hestarted isolating me from my
friends.
If I wanted to go out, it waslike walking on eggshells trying
(02:38):
to ask him to do some.
You know, if I could dosomething, you know, without him
he would get very angry.
Uh, a lot of times he wouldgive me the silent treatment and
and would not speak to me forfor days or or sleep on the
couch and those were his, youknow, instead of communicating
though that was how he responded.
(03:00):
I think it wasn't until manyyears later that I figured out
that he was a narcissist, but atthat time, I think a lot of
victims feel that it's theirfault and that they're looking
at like what did I do wrong?
You know, how can I keep himhappy?
(03:20):
And so that's sort of themindset that you fall into
gradually over time, and so theidea of wanting something for
myself or doing something formyself came with consequences.
And so I had to put in my mind,I had to figure out well, is
(03:40):
this worth it?
Is it worth going out for aweekend with the girls out?
Well, is this worth it?
Is it worth going out for aweekend with the girls?
And if I wanted to do it badlyenough, then I would.
And then I would put up withthe jealousy and the silent
treatment and the sleeping onthe couch and then gradually he
would come around and we wouldstart talking again.
And so this lasted over a periodof many years and at some point
(04:05):
it becomes your normal.
I was very introverted and veryquiet.
I figured you know my parentsand my grandparents, well, you
(04:33):
know they, you know it was atill death.
Do you part marriage vow?
And I thought for many yearsthat well, I had my marriage vow
and plus that well, I had mymarriage vile.
And plus, you know, I thoughtabout leaving and went so far as
to get the divorce papers fromthe courts.
But it just became somethinglike.
(04:53):
That was just fearful for me, Iwas just afraid to do it.
It's very scary, right filingdivorce and you know how are you
going to support yourself?
Yes, right, all of those things.
And so very common with abusevictims.
It's just the devil, you know.
Right, it's just easier to staymarried rather than take that
(05:17):
big, bold step.
And finally, as I describe inmy book I think the first
chapter is called the TippingPoint People reach a tipping
point I don't know about youwhen you realize it's like wait
a minute, I've gone throughenough and I think I deserve
(05:37):
better came very much later inmy mid-50s, when my ex-husband
went into this swearing tiradein the middle of the night at me
and I thought, wait a minute, Ididn't do anything wrong, this
isn't how I should be living.
And when you go back and overtime and think about how I've
(05:59):
compensated and how I wasn'treally able to be my true self,
like like a caged bird, as yousay in your introduction yeah,
it was.
It was kind of a a watershedmoment for me.
And after that tipping point,what?
What started the the processrolling for me was I met with a
(06:24):
crisis counselor from work.
Now we're lucky enough to havethat support and it from the
questions she was asking.
It didn't take me long tofigure out that, even though my
ex-husband wasn't physical withme, I was being abused in
another way.
And it's still called domesticviolence, and even though it's
(06:46):
not it's not, you know, throwinglamps and plates and, and you
know, getting getting hurtphysically it's still a form of
power and control, whether it'sphysical or not.
So so after that, that, thatwas a very a turning point for
me, because I had never told asoul what he had done.
(07:07):
And here I am, for the firsttime, telling a complete
stranger what's going on.
And so she ended up connectingme with a therapist who was
experienced in these types ofrelationships, and with her
guidance, I told her, I think,that second visit.
I told her this is what I wantI want to file for divorce, I
(07:29):
don't want to stay married, Idon't want to work this out.
And so that's what I did.
And so six months later, I wasdivorced.
I was about I think it wasabout in my mid-50s, 54 or 55 at
the time.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
And like most bullies .
Speaker 2 (07:43):
My ex-husband didn't try to pull any antics.
I finally called him on hisbehavior and we managed to file
for divorce without that much.
We didn't go to trial, therewasn't a lot of drama about it,
and so we we managed to to split.
(08:03):
I moved out.
You know that was the firsttime I I really, you know, moved
out of our house and I foundthe experience.
You know it was very scary ofcourse, trying to find a place
of my own, trying to live onyour own now instead of you know
(08:24):
, splitting bills.
Now you're supporting yourself,right.
So all of that was brand new.
Telling people about my divorcewas horrible because I had kept
quiet for so long, so that wasdifficult.
But once I moved into my newplace and started to get into a
(08:50):
rhythm, that's when my worldopened up to me.
And that's when I discoveredhiking and I had forgotten that
I had liked it because it hadbeen so long since I really did
any serious hiking.
You know, I had this oldbeat-up backpack that I had in
the attic when I was moving outand I thought you know what,
(09:12):
let's try this.
And, Cheryl, the experience wasso exhilarating, I think just
trying something new and beingable to do what I wanted to do
without walking on eggshells andhow is he going to react and
ask for permission?
I mean, it must sound weird toyour listeners, but for somebody
who was trapped for so long, itwas the best experience.
(09:39):
Going on a solo eight-mile hikeby myself.
Can I do this?
I'd never been on a walk thatlong before and you know, when
you get back down from themountain, it was.
It was just the most incredibleexperience.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
It is.
I'm so happy that you know youshared in your book how you
rediscovered and you justmentioned that like it was
something you had done a longtime ago.
This like you had done one hike.
I love that.
You found that again.
You rediscovered that.
Now you know, post-divorce youstarted doing these hikes and
you were doing them solo with,without you know, having to get
(10:16):
anything.
And you know, I think for you,doing anything like that may
have it's kind of an adjustment,like you said, because it was
forbidden before you had to askfor permission.
But so how did you adjust tothe idea of just, you know, I
get to do this on my own terms,solo hiking, doing what you
desired after all those years.
(10:37):
So what was that?
That sort of transformation?
You know, how did you adjust tothat idea?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Yeah, well, it took some.
It took some help.
I wasn't even six months aftermy divorce.
It was in December, it wasafter Christmas, and I was
putting some Christmasdecorations away with, you know,
rolling up newspaper, and Icame upon a press release from a
(11:03):
life coach and it was a storyabout a six-week workshop called
Be the Best you.
And if I was married, there'dbe no question that there's no
way I would be able to spend onenight a week for six weeks
trying to be the best you, right?
(11:23):
So I was really intrigued bythis and so, rather than sign up
, I thought well, maybe I'llcall this life coach.
Her name is Emily Clement.
I'm going to call her on it.
It's a Sunday afternoon, I'msure the workshop will be filled
, and it's a little scary tryingto determine whether to sign up
(11:46):
for this.
I mean, what does this be thebest you?
So I thought you know what?
I'll just call her up on aSunday afternoon, leave a
voicemail, and she won't callback and I won't go, and it'll
be fine.
So I call.
It's a Sunday afternoon.
So I call, it's a Sundayafternoon.
And, wouldn't you know it, sheanswers her phone.
Oh no.
(12:07):
So I explained my story alittle bit and my situation and
she was like, oh no, you needthis workshop and so I signed up
for it.
And that was reallylife-changing, cheryl.
You know, your therapist helpsyou with your backstory and kind
of goes into your past andtries to figure out what you
(12:30):
know, what trauma you may havehad or what makes you act the
way you do today, While a lifecoach goes in a totally
different direction.
They meet you where you're atand try to help you determine
what you want, what are yourgoals and how you can move
forward.
So I thought this is exactlywhat I need.
(12:52):
I need somebody to help me moveforward, and that's exactly
what we worked on for the nextsix weeks, and the idea that the
universe was of abundantcreativity and a mass abundance
and, would you know, help meachieve what I wanted to was
(13:14):
just a mind blowing concept forme.
It's just like no one had evertold me that it was OK to want
Right, because, you know, if wewanted something, we're greedy,
we're selfish, we're only.
You know, we're only.
We're not thinking of others.
So this was just.
I had never heard of theconcept of a vision board where
(13:40):
you cut things out of a magazineand you put it on a you know,
put it on a poster board andlook at it every day.
Never heard of that, you know,put it on a poster board and
look at it every day.
Never heard of that.
Never heard of affirmationswhere you write a statement and
the statement is worded as ifyou already have it right.
So instead of writing anaffirmation that says, you know,
I want to lose 10 pounds, youwrite an affirmation that says I
(14:04):
drink 30 ounces of water dailyand put healthy foods in my body
.
And so those types of ideas andvision boards, affirmations,
you know, practicing gratitudethese were things I had never
heard of and I was absolutelyhooked.
So on the first day of class, wehad to write on a post-it note
(14:27):
what our dream was, what wewanted, and we had to put it up
for the class for everyone toread and see.
And my post-it and I still haveit is hike the 4,000 footers of
New Hampshire and write a bookabout it to inspire others.
That was my post-it note.
(14:47):
And so you know, other folkswrote about you know they maybe,
perhaps they wanted a new car,or a lot of folks wanted to
start a new business, quit theirjob, solo travel.
So it was just interesting toread about what everybody,
everyone else, wanted.
So, uh, so that was the firsttime I'd ever told anybody what
(15:10):
I wanted to do.
So now I felt a measure ofaccountability, right, you know,
when we met each week we kindof had to update folks on on
what.
Yeah, so that's, that's whatinspired me to really start
hiking these 4,000 photos wasthis accountability of telling
others.
And many of them, the majorityof them, I did solo, by myself.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Yes, yes, I did read that.
Yeah, so I think that's a veryhuge goal, huge dream for you to
do that huge goal, huge dreamfor you to do that um.
And you know, during some ofthose hikes you experienced some
obstacles, anxiety, evendisappointment.
I mean, like you said, some ofthem, most of them, you did solo
, um, but when the ones you weredoing solo, how did you
(15:57):
mentally handle those situations?
Or, you know, could you give anexample, like something that
happened that you had to dealwith because you know it's you,
you don't deal with Because youdon't know what you're expecting
, right, I mean you just neverknow.
Sure yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I have many examples throughout the barrel, I'm sure
Pick one.
I don't make the same mistaketwice.
I like to make it six or sevenor eight times, just so I learn.
But I didn't have a lot of highsummit experience, even though
4,000, 5,000, 6,000 feet may notsound that high.
(16:34):
Here in New Hampshire a lot ofthese summits are exposed,
there's no trees and we'resubject to, just because of our
location, very rapid shifts inthe weather.
So the weather can be nice andsunny at the bottom and it can
be literally snowing at thesummit.
So you really have to preparefor that right.
(16:56):
And the elevation gain in sucha short distance is also very
arduous.
Gain in such a short distanceis also very arduous.
You know.
A lot of people hike MountWashington, which is our highest
peak here in New Hampshire, asa way to train for other alpine
ascents.
It's a good training groundbecause we're known for the
(17:17):
worst weather in the world.
On top of Mount Washington it'sthe highest wind gust.
You know, it's just.
The conditions can change veryrapidly.
So when I was starting out, I,you know, I didn't really know
what I was doing.
I was wearing the wrong clothes.
You know I was wearing, likeyou know, cotton pants and an
(17:38):
Elmer Fudd cap.
And you know people were givingme strange looks and just kind
of like moving around me.
My pants are falling down.
But with each hike you learn alittle bit more, you read a
little bit more.
I took an outdoor survivalclass, which was very helpful,
but I think the majority, thereason why I did the majority of
(17:59):
these alone, are for a coupleof reasons.
One is that I was in theprocess of trying to find my
autonomy.
And I didn't want to.
You know, I really wanted to dothese by myself, just just, it
was like a sense of freedom forme it was like it was like like
being released from the cageright you?
just want to fly off.
(18:20):
And the second reason was wasmore logistical, in that
sometimes I would go during theweek and if it was a nice day
and I didn't have any meetings,it was.
It was like, okay, I'll, I'll,I'll try this particular summit.
I think what was instrumentaland and helping me stay on this
(18:44):
goal was that I had this hugemap of the White Mountains and
the 48 4,000-footers and everytime I hiked a summit I would
put a little pushpin in the mapand study it and figure out
where I wanted to go next.
And I didn't realize it at thetime, but that was a big vision
(19:04):
board.
I could hang it anywhere in thehouse.
I wanted to right, I had ithung in my bedroom.
I could hang it anywhere Iwanted to and not worry about,
you know, someone seeing it orsomeone criticizing it or saying
, what do you want to do thatfor?
And so there was a real, youknow, sense of freedom.
And so there was a real, youknow, sense of freedom.
(19:28):
So there was a sense of freedomfor not only trying to
accomplish this, but just beingout in nature alone is just so
healing, as I'm sure yourlisteners can appreciate, you
know it's, it's the idea ofdoing something physical, maybe
feeling the edges of yourcomfort zone, but not quite.
You know getting into trouble,you know just trying to trying
to do something new.
(19:50):
The the, the accomplishment of,of hiking, a summit or or you
know, that was in itself healing.
And when you start on a, on alittle adventure, you know some
of these.
The average, I would say mostof these hikes are between eight
and ten miles.
Some are longer, some areshorter, but when you're first
(20:12):
starting out you have all ofthis monkey chatter in your head
like how am I going to navigatemy divorce and how am I going
to live, and what am I going todo for retirement, all this
little stuff.
And by the time you get to thetop, you know all of that sort
of falls away right, yes,exactly able to enjoy the trees
(20:34):
and the sounds of the birdssinging, and just especially if,
once you reach the summit andyou and you look over, you know
you can look into vermont orcanada, or into maine, and and
you realize, uh, you're.
You're very tiny but you're ontop of this huge landscape that
very few people get to see, andif I had still been married,
(20:55):
there was no way I would be ableto uh, see these sites that, uh
, you know I was, I was nowseeing.
So for traveling it was, it wasboth logistical, but it was
also a way of finding andrediscovering myself too, and
healing.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Yeah, so, and you mentioned I love the you
mentioned chapter 34, like whyyou preferred hiking alone.
And you used a phrase which Ilove called, you know, finding
your voice during this process.
So in what you just explainedto like there's, I feel like
(21:35):
there's this confidence boosterthat happens when you're doing
these kind of things.
A you said it's getting youslightly out of your comfort
zone, as you mentioned kind ofthings.
A you said it's getting youslightly out of your comfort
zone, as you mentioned, you'redoing something new.
You're accomplishing a hugedeal because you know not many
people have done that.
So would you agree that thiswas all part of you finding your
(21:57):
voice?
And now I mean, look whatyou're doing now.
I mean you've written a bookabout it to help other people.
So I mean that's just.
I feel that's remarkable andhow you've discovered that
healing in solo hiking.
And it doesn't have to be.
You know many people.
I obviously love solo hiking,but also solo travel, which is
(22:18):
what my podcast is about.
But it is you.
You didn't go far Like you hadthis.
You had all of New Hampshirebecause you're from New.
Go far like you had this.
You had all of new hampshirebecause you're from new
hampshire like accessible to youand that's remarkable and, as
you said, not many people havethat access.
So, um, I appreciate this.
Just encouraging people to tolike use what's nearby is is, I
(22:40):
think, would be a great idea foranybody that is maybe starting
that process for themselves.
Would you agree with that?
Speaker 2 (22:48):
oh, absolutely, cheryl.
I you know you don't have totravel to the.
You know the end of the worldto be inspired right, or or to
new hampshire.
Uh, you know, check out your,check out your backyard, right I
tell people who are, who arestruggling maybe with some
(23:08):
mentally or emotionally, and Ithink, just going out for a walk
in nature, right, just findinga nearby park, or or sometimes
you know, you know I there weretimes where I really struggled
with depression and found ithard to get out of bed.
And so, you know, on those daysI would just, you know, my goal
(23:31):
was okay, I'm just going to getout of bed and just take, you
know, take a one hour at a time,right, we'll get out of bed and
I'll take a shower.
Oh, that felt good, yeah, okayNow, now I'm going to get
dressed in some nice clothes andget out of my pajamas.
Okay, I'll do that and justtake those baby steps and that.
(23:52):
That, really that mindset,really helped me, because it was
, there were times where Ireally struggled and it seemed
daunting to get up and go towork.
It just seemed like it was.
There were times where I reallystruggled and it seemed
daunting to get up and go towork.
It just seemed like it was justtoo much, and so I would just
break it down into really small,small tasks.
Okay, that was good.
Now I'm going to eat healthyfood or, you know, have, you
(24:14):
know, instead of going throughthe drive-through, I'm going to,
you know, make something, orhave an apple, have a banana.
Have a snack or something, andthen that would make me feel
better and then just try to takethat.
And it was the same way withhiking.
It seemed very daunting to hikesome of these peaks that are
(24:36):
4,000 or 5,000 feet.
There are many miles.
I did these all year round,even during the winter.
Some of these peaks are four orfive thousand feet there.
There are many miles, you, youknow, I did these all year round
, even during the winter.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
I know remarkable.
I just I couldn't do that.
I just couldn't do that yeah,well, it was I.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
only I.
I got smart.
You know, there's a, there's achapter where I I almost, I
almost get, get, get really intosome trouble, and that kind of
smartened me up and I decided toonly do these on bluebird days
where I could really have a view.
But it was the same thing withhiking.
It's like, oh, this is verydaunting, but I'm just going to
(25:11):
decide where to go.
Okay, now I'm going to pack mypack, now I'm going to drive to
the hill and just take it likeliterally one step at a time,
and if you just break it downinto those small steps, you feel
a little bit of accomplishmentwith each like yeah, and then,
and and that's how I managed topublish the book as well it's
(25:33):
just like, okay, I'll just, I'lljust work on this chapter, I'll
.
You know again, I had a visionboard and I had a, you know,
used, used a lot of my lifecoachy things.
You know, there's there's a lotof woo, woo, life coachy tips
in the book for folks.
You know, even if you don'tlike hiking, it's a lot of those
tips, and if you do like hiking, I provide a lot of tips just
(25:57):
because I made so many mistakesand you can kind of learn.
Learn from me, don't make thosemistakes, learn, I already made
them.
So go and learn from me.
And so that's how I managed todo it.
And I think doing it solo wasvery important to me because, as
you mentioned, there were timeswhen I did go with other folks.
(26:17):
I enjoyed their companyimmensely.
For some of these highersummits it's the safest thing to
do.
But I lost my sense of autonomybecause when I went there was
never a discussion of wherewe're going to go, what trail
we're going to take.
It was okay, we're going to doMount Adams and we're leaving on
Sunday at 7 am.
we're going to do Mount Adamsand we're leaving on Sunday at 7
(26:40):
am and we're going to take thistrail and if you want to come,
terrific and let's meet here.
So I never passed that up.
I appreciated folks asking meto go along with them, but I
also felt like these were, thesewere really peak baggers and
(27:01):
these, you know, the folks Iwent with moved very fast and I
felt like I had to prove myself.
I felt like I couldn't stop andtake pictures or or or admire a
certain tree, or you know.
I felt like I had to keep upwith the group and I and I had
that feeling that I was losingmy freedom again.
(27:21):
You know it's kind of weird,like I don't have any say in
this, you know, and and yeah, soso for me, the solo hiking
aspect of it was was much moreenjoyable for me and you know, I
know you had a recent uhepisode about safety and uh, I
think uh there safety and Ithink for women who travel solo,
(27:44):
I think that's a real concern.
That's the most common questionI get at book talks is well, oh,
that's terrible, you were goingout there alone.
What would have happened?
You could have gotten hurt.
Or, as my mother said, youcould going out there alone.
You know what, you know whatwould have happened.
Or you could have gotten hurt,or or, as my mother said, you
(28:05):
know you could die up there.
Yeah, but which is true, I mean, she wasn't wrong, but I think
I mean.
But there are things to do tomitigate risk, right, whether
you, whether you're hiking soloor traveling solo, you do.
Your do the best you can.
You carry a good first aid kit.
You equip yourself withknowledge.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Like I said.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
I took a woman's survival course, that's amazing.
That was just for women.
It was great because there's noegos right, we're all trying to
struggle to light a fire and itwas so much fun, right?
So you equip yourself with theright equipment, with the right
knowledge, and even thoughyou're traveling alone, hiking
(28:48):
these 4,000 footers is sopopular that you know if you get
hurt or if you fall, somebodyis going to come upon you.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Yeah, there's usually other people no question.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, unless'susually no question.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Yeah, yeah, you know unless you get hopelessly lost,
you know somebody, somebody willfind you, uh, so yeah, so it's
not.
It's not scary at all uh yeah,so you know you do what you can
to to, like I said, minimize therisk and and you know,
knowledge and the rightequipment and, uh, you know,
(29:21):
bring technology with you,whether it's a, uh, like a cell
phone or some sort of satellitecommunication device or
something.
And just try to make yourself,you know, as safe as possible,
and you'll be, you'll be okay.
You know the mountain will bethere if the weather's bad and
you're not having.
You know there was.
There were times when I justwasn't feeling it and that's you
(29:44):
know.
Trust your instinct.
And it took some time for me totrust my instinct because I
couldn't discern that from fearright.
I lived in fear for so long thatyou know, fear is that small
voice that tells you that you'renot good enough, or that you're
too old, or you're too out ofshape or you can't do it.
(30:05):
And instinct is that smallvoice where your head and your
heart and your gut are all inalignment and they're saying no,
this is not the day to do thismountain.
And so for me, that was alittle bit of a a struggle to
differentiate between those two,between fear and instinct, but
(30:25):
gradually, over time, I Ilearned to trust my instinct,
and, and uh, I'm sure other solotravelers do too, or?
so maybe sometimes yeah, likemaybe I don't want to hit the
road today.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
You know it's raining or something like that, and uh,
you just yeah you just beflexible yeah, I like to say
it's um, it's like a muscle andthat you when you practice it
more, it gets stronger.
Meaning like you, like you said, maybe that you get better at
um listening to your gut or yourintuition, or you get better at
(30:57):
um.
You said being prepared.
Right, you get that knowledge,you know, because you learn from
your mistakes, as you mentioned.
You know, or just like safetythings too, that you mentioned.
I love that.
Thank you for bringing that upbecause, um, even even though
you know solo hiking you're,you're not going far, you're
going eight, ten miles orwhatever um, there's still some
(31:20):
safety issues that you probablyneed to be concerned about.
It could be animals, right?
Did you ever come acrossanimals you?
Speaker 2 (31:26):
know I get that question a lot.
I mean I hate to disappointpeople and say that you know, I
never had to outrun a bear or amoose.
I did run into a juvenile mooseon the trail at one point and
they can be a littleunpredictable because it was in
(31:47):
the spring.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
And I think this.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
The mom had just kicked the moose out of the nest
and said you know you need to,you need to go out on your own.
He was a little gangly.
You know most of just all legsand head.
Right, it's a little ganglyMoose, are just all legs and
head right.
They're just a little gangly.
He didn't know what to do andso eventually he did nothing and
then sauntered off, but likemoose.
People ask if I've ever beenscared off by a bear, and over
(32:13):
here we have black bears andthey're not that.
They're kind of skittish mostof them, but it's the moose that
are yes, I've traveled in newhampshire and I remember seeing
road signs that say you knowmoose crossings or whatever, and
I actually wanted to see.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
I mean, I didn't want to hit them with my car,
obviously, but I just was like,wow, a moose.
I've never seen a moose.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Yeah, I mean moose car collisions are a thing.
Yeah, because, because theytravel at night and because
they're all legs many times youdon't see them because all
you're looking at are theirskinny little legs, not their
body which is huge and yeah yeah, and so you know, uh, they've
(32:56):
been.
Yeah, yeah, most car collisionsis a thing, especially at night
.
So wow, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
But but you know they've been.
Yeah, moose car collisions is athing, especially at night.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Oh, wow, yeah, yeah.
But you know, just to go backto safety one more time yeah,
absolutely, there's a lot offolks that, a lot of women that
solo backpack and they do justfine.
I'm just too old to sleep onthe ground.
I've done it a few times, I'vedone it a few times, but I think
what it comes down to whetheryou're backpacking, hiking,
traveling, walking down thestreet is just situational
(33:26):
awareness, right?
It's just being aware of yoursurroundings.
You know who's behind you onthe trail.
You know you don't have to besuspicious of everybody, but you
just want to take note.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
You know, whether you're.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
You know, what I like to do when I'm on the trail is
I'll play a game with myself andon the way up I'll mentally
note you know I crossed a bridgehere, or there was an
outcropping of rocks here, andyou know there crossed a bridge
here, or there was anoutcropping of rocks here and
you know there was this signthere.
So when I'm going back down thetrail and I'm tired and just
(34:08):
and just, you know, I'll try toplay that game.
It's like, ok, I just hit thatrock outcropping, I should be
expecting a bridge next and justbeing kind of aware of your
surroundings, not only of of ofnature, but but who you're
encountered to.
And so I mean, I think, I thinkthat's, um, something I take
with me, whether you know you'reat the mall or or or on the
(34:33):
trail.
It's just always besituationally aware, right,
where's you know.
It's just, it's just out ofhabit, I guess it's like where,
if I'm in a if.
I'm in an auditorium.
It's like where's the exits,where?
What would happen if there was,you know, a fire?
How would I get out?
That?
That's it, that type of thing.
And the more you practice that,I think, the the the better
(34:54):
traveler you are.
You know, and you have lessfear, so you feel more confident
.
I think right, yeah, right, Imean absolutely.
You know simple things likealways knowing where your car
keys are.
I always, I always had my carkeys in a certain place in my
back, you know.
I just knew where everythingwas yeah, and it just makes you
more confident and just just asafer.
(35:15):
A safer traveler, yes, very good, did you have?
Speaker 1 (35:19):
any experience any?
You know you started this inyour mid-50s.
Did you experience you talked alittle?
A safer traveler yes, very good.
Did you have any experience any?
You know you started this inyour mid fifties.
Did you experience you talked alittle about like fear but
naysayers, like people thatheard what you were doing and
thought, well, you're too oldfor this right.
Have you ever?
Speaker 2 (35:35):
did you ever come across anybody that kind of gave
you that, that that indicationthat they thought well you're
crazy and you're too old oranything that would be, you know
, maybe make you feel insecureor just like question what you
(35:56):
were doing, maybe Not during thetime I was doing it.
Never to my face many yearslater I I would hear anecdotally
or second or third hand, like Ican't believe you did that or I
can't believe you'd want to dothat, and it's like you know,
I'm sure people thought of it,but they never they never, uh,
expressed it to me and I don't.
(36:16):
I don't know if it would havemattered, ch Cheryl I was just
determined to do it, and that'sthe voice of fear talking right,
and you want to surroundyourself with people that
support you and love you, andthat's what I've been able to do
since I've been divorced.
(36:37):
I've been, I've been very luckyto not only, uh, strengthen the
friendships that I had like inhigh school before I was married
, but but to make a new, newfriends, you know, yeah, I'm
still, you know.
I'm still connected with my,with my life coach, and she's.
She created this community ofwomen that you know.
(37:00):
We were accountable to oneanother, we support one another
and we're you know, we're herefor one another and that type of
camaraderie is just, you know,you can't replace that.
It's just, yeah, that's thetype of people you want to
surround yourself with.
That's the type of people youwant to surround yourself with,
(37:26):
especially practicing gratitudebeing so thankful, being
thankful for my health.
Yes, right, yeah.
People ask me well, did you gethurt?
And I was like nah, I never gothurt.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
That's remarkable.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
I never even got a scratch.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
I mean, somebody was watching over me.
For sure the universe had myback at the end of the day,
because I could have got this.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
It's so easy to get hurt.
You just slip and fall and andnow you, you have to be carried
out and I, just, I, just I nevergot a scratch.
I just went up and down andlike one one one.
That's how I did it.
It was just people ask how Idid it.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
And it was just literally one step at a time.
Yeah well, the New HampshireWhite Mountains seems to offer
you such a great space to healand grow in different levels and
for anybody who's actuallywalked through uh, trauma or
grief or we didn't even touch onwhat happened to your husband
after you got divorced, butthere was shame, that kind of
came alongside that and we allwe both know, and anybody that's
(38:26):
been through that, that this isall.
It's a process to kind of movethrough those, whether it's
trauma, grief coming out of youknow that, controlling marriage
for you and stuff.
But we all want closure in asense right, so that we can move
forward from our past.
As you said, like your lifecoach was helping you kind of do
(38:47):
that, look forward.
You know what?
How did you?
I mean it's a process, but haveyou come to a point where you
feel like you actually haveclosure from all that and how
long did that take you?
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Yeah, yeah, great question.
I'm not sure about the wordclosure.
I don't think there.
I don't know if you ever talkedto other trauma survivors, but
I'm not sure if closure is everthe right word.
Trauma survivors, but I'm notsure if closure is ever the
(39:22):
right word.
Uh, you know, my, my life coachwrote, and she wrote the
foreword for the book and Ithink her, her sentence, sums it
up nicely and and it is, youknow, you, you're, you're
writing from the scar, not thewound, right.
So I think there's always ascar that will be there and you
grow around it.
(39:43):
It's kind of like the piece ofsand in the oyster right.
The piece of sand isn't part ofthe oyster right, but you grow
around it and eventually youknow there's no closure there,
but eventually you knowsomething beautiful comes comes
out of that, and so I I enjoy,uh, taking folks out on on local
(40:04):
hikes here in New Hampshirethat are just starting out and
maybe they they don't have theum confidence and they they want
somebody to hike with them, andyou know, I enjoy doing that.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
And.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
I'm also.
You know, if someone wants toreach out to me and say, yeah,
I'm doing this 4,000 footer, youknow, do you want to come with
me?
I'd be like.
Yeah, I'd be happy to you knowif people are looking for for
for an extra person to come togo with them, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
I'm, I'm there.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
And so question I, you know, as you mentioned, you
know I don't want to spoil itfor you, no, let me, I think in
your book.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
You actually on page 264, you actually said, instead
of seeking closure, what Ishould be seeking is grace or
compassion for the unworthy.
So you know, I think thatactually honestly, that I think
that sums it up, is what youknow.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
You kind of said the closure is not the right word
Right, you answered it betterthan I did.
Yes, yes, yeah, so my husband,unknown to me, shortly after we
were divorced, my ex-husband wasarrested and charged with some
unspeakable crimes, and sothat's where the title of the
book comes from is Finding Graceon 48 Summits.
(41:23):
Right.
So you know, grace iscompassion and forgiveness for
the unworthy, and, honestly,there's probably no one more
unworthy than him for what hedid.
But that you know, forgivenessisn't for him, it's for yourself
(41:46):
right.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Yeah, I love that phrase too you know the same
thing with resentment.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
It was just.
You know it's easy to go to beresentful and angry and you know
seething, but it's just socounterproductive and just so
negative that you're onlyhurting yourself.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
It's wasting your energy too.
Exactly, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
It's just negative.
It's just negativity and youknow it's just not.
It's just negativity and it's,and you know it's, it's just not
going to do any any good, Ithink.
I think the anger was part ofthe journey, right?
So you know the part of thebook.
You know I detail the processthat I went through being being
(42:35):
the ex-wife of somebody that wasin the newspaper every other
day, and so this it's very muchlike the grieving process where
there's shock and anger anddisbelief and it's like this
couldn't have happened, and andbargaining, and then eventually
there's there's acceptance, andthen there's there's the grace.
(42:55):
Yeah so, yeah, so I, I, you know, there's acceptance, and then
there's there's the grace.
Yeah, so, you know, for mybenefit, I don't have any
contact with him.
You know he'll be in prison fora long time and it just does
not.
It just does not.
it just does not benefit me yeah, exactly and if I were, it
(43:18):
would be, it would be to servehim, and I felt like I've done
that.
Yeah, I've done that for a longtime.
You know this.
These were his things that hedid.
Uh, that I, I did not know andI have no responsibility for him
.
Uh, and you know, just tryingto, just trying to navigate that
(43:38):
court process.
It was over three years and youknow that was a large part of
the time period when I washiking.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
You were hiking.
Yeah, exactly yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
And I was still doing that.
And hiking became even morebeneficial during that time
because there were times, like Isaid, when I, when there was a
headline in the paper and I waskind of thrown, I had no idea
because I'm not, I'm notinvolved in the criminal process
, I'm not a victim, I'm not awitness, I'm just a.
I am a complete unknown, acomplete outsider so it's
(44:12):
nothing.
so when I it would make aheadline and I was just like how
can I go to work, how can Iface all my coworkers, how can I
face my family, how can I facemy friends?
And and I and I learned, Ilearned different coping
mechanisms, court to see whenthe next thing was, so I would
(44:37):
be prepared when the newspaperswere reporting it when is his
trial, when is that going tohappen?
And I just was better able toarm myself so I wasn't so
blindsided.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Those were skills that you actually learned.
Hiking you talked aboutbeforehand being prepared you
know like so you brought it backin to help you navigate that
season so yeah, that's a skillyou learned very I love that
yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
Yeah, I mean, I mean with yeah, I mean your podcast
is is, you know, solo travelingand and solo is good, but but it
would took a little.
It's a process for for mepersonally to ask for help.
You know, if you're solotraveling and you're in, you're
running into a situation, Idon't know, flat tire, you know
(45:31):
I have I purchased a traveltrailer and so I do a lot of
trailering solo.
But if you run into a problem,you know, sometimes you just
have to ask for help and and notbe a martyr and you know, and
and it's the same thing whenyou're going through an
emotional journey as well.
You know, it was hard for me toask for help, and it's it's, you
(45:52):
know, but I'm, I'm gettingbetter at it, right?
Uh, it's not, you know, healthypeople, healthy people ask for
help, right?
So?
Speaker 1 (46:00):
so I like that yeah yeah, so, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
So, whether you're listeners or viewers, uh, ask
for help.
I there's no shame.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
There's no shame in asking for help for sure yes,
thank you for reiterating thatyeah I think we get this whole
like pride thing too, because wewere doing this solo.
We want to do it our way, youknow.
We want to show that we can doit solo.
But you know, even those thatI've interviewed that have solo
(46:31):
traveled, one of the mostimportant things that they have
shared is not the solo part,which is great, but how they've
either connected with communityor they've connected with, met
somebody or had an encounterwith somebody.
So it is about humaninteraction and whether you are,
(46:52):
like you said, hiking alone orwith somebody, um, you know
there's interaction.
You'll ask people right and so,yeah, I love that it's important
that we we acknowledge that too, even though we are by
ourselves, that there's otherpeople around, as you mentioned.
Sure that we're not reallyalone, right?
Speaker 2 (47:13):
no, no.
On some of these hikes I startedout as solo and I would catch
up, or somebody would catch upto me that was also solo solo
hiking yeah, and we had, and wehad the same pace, yeah, and you
know, you know there's a,there's a connection and and it
really makes the miles go by alittle bit faster.
(47:33):
Uh, you learn, you learn thingsfrom things from folks that
were more experienced than me,and I didn't, you know, I just
don't have any.
There's no pride here, there'sno ego in this corner, and so if
I didn't know something, Iwould just ask yeah, I have a
sense of humor about it and yeah, people are super helpful.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
I think the traveling hiking community is super
helpful.
Traveling the RV community issuper helpful.
You know, like I said, I boughta travel trailer during COVID
Okay, this was going to be myretirement was to travel in my
travel trailer and during thethe lockdown, my uh friend of
(48:19):
mine says, well, why don't youbuy it now, and that way, there
you can at least get going withit and you know when it's time
to retire.
You'll, you'll, you'll have thatexperience and and, uh, you
know you'll be kind of a aheadof the game and that she was
right.
That's exactly what I did andand you know I watched a lot of
(48:41):
YouTube videos, did a lot ofreading, you know, did as much
research as you as you can, andyou know you still make mistakes
because you don't you don'tknow what you don't know, you
know so but yeah, that's mylatest adventure is I like to?
Speaker 1 (48:53):
go out.
I was just going to ask youwhat.
What are you working on rightnow and where are you so?
Speaker 2 (48:58):
I, uh, I retired a month ago.
That was my long time goal.
Yeah, congratulations, thankyou yeah, again, today is like
the 30-day anniversary, so Ifeel like I'm I feel like I'm in
vacation mode, like yeah, yeah,so, yeah.
So I did buy the RV during thelockdown in 2020 or 2021.
And so up till now I've been aweekend warrior with it right.
(49:23):
Okay, because I was working fulltime.
Yeah, going on trips not toofar, but I go solo sometimes.
I did a lot of work on my bookon solo RV trips in terms of
editing.
It was quiet, there were nodistractions, it was just like
my little writing office.
(49:44):
And so I just came back from amusic festival over the weekend
in Vermont.
That was fantastic.
I mean you're right.
I mean, I think, even thoughyou're traveling solo, there's
there is that community, there'sthe music community, the RV
community, the hiking community.
And as much as I like my, myalone time, because I still
(50:08):
treasure it.
You know, we all have to, weall crave that human connection
on some level as well.
So yeah, so that was the bestof both worlds is music and, and
going to camping out at acampground was just.
It was just a fun, fun weekend.
Speaker 1 (50:25):
Oh, that's incredible and congrats on the retirement.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
Thank you, thank you, yeah One day, I'll get there
Right.
Yeah, I.
I mean, I had been planning forit for like shortly after my
divorce.
I decided that I I needed tofigure this out uh so yeah, so
I've been planning for for thelast 10 years or so, and so I I
fell victim to that one moreyear syndrome.
(50:51):
I originally wanted to do it in2023, but here we are, uh, uh
so.
Speaker 1 (50:56):
I, I did, yeah, I know other people that are in
that same situation.
Like one more year of teaching,yeah, I know.
Yeah, Well, I'm so happy foryou.
What, um, where can people findyou?
You know you have a book outand I think you have a website.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
Yeah, yeah, so I do have a website.
It's I thought of this one allby myself.
It's my name.
It's Linda Magooncom.
That's L I N D A M A G O O Ncom.
You can order my book throughAmazon.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
If you're not into Amazon.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
that's fine.
I just reach out through mywebsite.
I'd be happy to send you asigned copy.
My email I thought of this oneall by myself too is
lindamagoonauthor at gmailcom.
And also you can find me onFacebook, and that's
lindamagoonauthor on Facebook.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
Okay, Awesome, this has been so exciting.
Yeah, and here, wait, I'll justwell, I have um, oh there it is
.
There's what the book lookslike, folks so looking for it.
That's what it looks like thereand I enjoyed reading it.
And, linda, this has been soremarkable.
I thank you for um.
(52:15):
Linda, this has been soremarkable.
I thank you for sharing yourstory and I know there could be
parts that kind of may havebrought up some past things.
So I appreciate you beinghonest with everything that
happened to you and you knowyour book really dives a little
deeper into all that.
So if someone is interested inkind of hearing all the deets on
, you know all that she wentthrough.
(52:36):
It's pretty remarkable.
And look at you standing here.
I mean you're here havingcompleted the 48 peaks.
I mean that's just remarkable.
Speaker 2 (52:48):
I mean it's inspiring .
You get a little patch and atiny certificate.
Speaker 1 (52:55):
That was my motivation.
Speaker 2 (52:57):
It was that tiny little patch about the size of a
postage stamp, but I neededthat, I needed that validation.
Speaker 1 (53:03):
Yeah, I agree.
I think we all kind of needstuff like that to validate what
we've done and that hard, hardpath that we've, we've walked
for you, yeah.
So thank you for sharing yourjourney with me, and my audience
.
Speaker 2 (53:19):
Yeah, thank you for having me.
Uh, cheryl is a pleasure tomeet and chat with you and uh,
safe travels to all of yourviewers and listeners out there.
Thank you so much for listeningyes, thank you.
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