August 9, 2023 • 36 mins
In this episode, Dr. Makeba is joined by her friends Edwina Price and Maureen Mays for a crucial conversation about self-care and wellness, especially within communities of color. As we navigate through this era of self-love, it's evident that prioritizing self-care is essential for our well-being. Our guests shed light on this vital topic, offering insights that challenge traditional stigmas and offer practical guidance.
Edwina Price, a wellness advocate and health education blogger, emphasizes the importance of holistic health. She introduces the concept that wellness encompasses various aspects, including physical, emotional, spiritual, social, and financial dimensions. Edwina's passion lies in making wellness relatable for people of color, who often lack resources tailored to their specific needs. She discusses the disparity in health resources and the need for tailored solutions within communities of color.
Maureen Mays, a six-time published author and co-author of the book "Love Warriors: The Conscious Experts guide to Healing, Joy and Manifestation," adds to the conversation by sharing her personal journey towards self-care. She highlights the cultural pressure on black women to prioritize others before themselves, leading to burnout and neglect of their own well-being. Maureen emphasizes the significance of self-love as a foundation for being able to care for others effectively.
The conversation takes an insightful turn towards mental health awareness within these communities. The stigma surrounding mental health issues often prevents individuals from seeking help. The guests advocate for the importance of seeking professional mental health support, acknowledging therapy as a crucial tool for addressing mental well-being.
Throughout the episode, we reflect on the impacts of the pandemic on mental health and self-care practices. The isolation and uncertainties of the pandemic have underscored the need for intentional self-care strategies. The guests also share their personal experiences, discussing how the pandemic has affected their mental health and the steps they've taken to prioritize their well-being.
As you listen to this episode, consider your own self-care practices and how they contribute to your overall wellness. Reflect on the cultural influences and stigmas that may have shaped your perception of self-care. Take action by educating yourself and seeking support, whether through therapy, meditation, journaling, or setting healthy boundaries.
Remember, self-care is a journey, and by embracing it, we empower ourselves to thrive mentally, emotionally, and physically.
“Sol Social w/Dr Makeba & Friends” is a soul-nourishing podcast that explores spirituality, self-discovery, and various healing modalities. Dr. Makeba, a certified Reiki master and spiritual healer based in Atlanta GA is your guide through the world of self-care and spiritual evolution. Here at “Sol Social w/Dr Makeba & Friends” we invite you to embrace your purpose, trust your intuition, and ignite your inner light.
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Love and light, y'all
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
opem (00:00):
Bridge to Nairobi.
Bridge to Nairobi.
Jah, Show us the light Thismovement phonetic the chi is
kinetic You know what's up Wejust leveling up eternal life
Children of light blessings uponyou the truth and the pride
Women heal Earth Cherish yourworth Get us back on track like
rebirth.
Dr. Makeba (00:22):
Welcome to Sol Social with Dr.
Makeba and Friends, the soulnourishing podcast that takes
you on a journey of spiritualityself-discovery and healing.
I'm Dr.
Makeba, and I'm thrilled to beyour guide on this metamorphic
path toward embracing yourpurpose, trusting your intuition
and igniting your inner light.
(00:42):
In this episode, I'm joined bymy friends, Edwina Price and
Maureen Mays for a crucialconversation about self-care and
wellness, especially withincommunities of color.
As we navigate through this eraof self-love, it's evident that
prioritizing self care isessential for our wellbeing.
The conversation takes aninsightful turn toward mental
(01:03):
health awareness within thesecommunities.
As you listen to this episode,consider your own self care
practices.
And how they contribute to youroverall wellness.
Reflect on the culturalinfluences and stigmas that may
have shaped your own perceptionof self care.
Alright.
Let's talk! Good evening.
(01:24):
Good evening.
Good evening.
Today we have a really importantconversation about self-care and
wellness, particularly incommunities of color.
So without further ado, I'd loveto introduce Edwina Price.
Edwina is a native of Georgia.
She's a health education bloggerand a wellness advocate,
(01:47):
community activist andinfluencer.
She is also a wonderful friendof mine and I'm so happy to have
her.
Edwina.
Edwina (01:56):
Thank you so much Makeba for that wonderful introduction.
First, thank you for inviting meon to your podcast with your
beautiful audience.
It is such an honor and aprivilege to be here cause I
know it's a community of love.
And I wanna share that samelove.
I truly believe that loveconquers off.
And on top of that, Wellnesswise, there are a lot of things
(02:19):
that we could recognize.
So Makeba as mentioned I am awellness ambassador and
essentially what I do through mybusiness, How in the Health is I
connect people with resources.
So I have a concept and a theoryof holistic health.
And when we think about holistichealth, we think about like
herbal medicines and all thosegreat things, but holistic is
(02:42):
total so totality.
I like to give attention toevery area of wellness physical
diet, nutrition, fitnessspiritual, social financial,
whatever.
It is all encompassing because.
In order for us to be totallyhealthy and totally well, we
need to give attention to allthose areas.
(03:04):
That is essentially what I do.
I promote health and wellnessthrough many avenues, whether
it's event hosting, connectingwith people, partnering with
people, published literature,volunteering, all that great
stuff.
That's how I put love into theuniverse through health and
wellness.
Dr. Makeba (03:22):
I love it.
One of the things that youmentioned it is that you like to
focus on people of color.
Can you elaborate on that alittle bit more?
Edwina (03:32):
Yes.
People of color, particularlyAfrican Americans, are
disproportionately affected byevery disease.
Very, very terrible, right?
But the thing is, is that wedon't have enough resources that
target people of color.
A lot of the resourceshistorically that have been
published or they're availablethey aren't prepared in a way
(03:56):
that is appealing to ourcommunity.
A lot of what I do is make itrelatable for, people of color.
When it comes to, statistics.
Like a lot of statistics when wedo those longitudinal studies,
there's so much stigma involvedwith those things.
Mm-hmm.
A lot of people of color won'tbe part of those studies.
Right.
So the research isn't applicableto our community.
(04:19):
And while we'redisproportionately affected by
every disease, we don't haveenough resources and enough
people advocating for us.
So times are changing.
I love to partner with peoplewho look like me to help the
community that looks like me.
And so that's a lot of the workthat I do.
I think.
Everyone should be totallyhealthy.
And I'm not biased in that area.
(04:39):
It is just, I know people ofcolor and being a person of
color are disproportionatelyaffected.
And so a lot of my events, a lotof my resources, a lot of my
collaborations, they're forpeople of color.
One of the things that I knowwithin our community when we
talk about health and wellness,it's a small percentage of
people who actually listen.
So you have to find differentavenues and you have to make it
(05:00):
relatable.
That is what I do through how inthe health.
Dr. Makeba (05:04):
I definitely agree with that, and I know as you do,
having gone through Covid overthe past few years, early on in
the Pandemic, we saw how obviousit was that people of color were
disproportionately affecteddying, not getting the care that
they needed.
And then also in terms ofwellness, there was a hesitation
(05:28):
in the black community for sure,to get vaccinated.
Especially due to the historythat we have as a people in
being used as Guinea pigs A lackof trust of the government, I
think really popped out as anissue and a concern, so focusing
on people of color makes senseto me.
I am a person of color myself aswell, so I can relate.
(05:49):
I understand where you're comingfrom, and that's really awesome.
So I would love to introduceMaureen Mays.
Maureen is a six time publishedauthor, her latest read could be
found in chapter three of LoveWarriors: The Conscious Experts
guide to Healing, Joy andManifestation.
I'm a co-author in this bookwith this beautiful queen, and
(06:13):
I'm really glad that she agreedto join us to talk about her
chapter and her work.
Her chapter is called Self-Care1 0 1, which is high on our list
today.
Talk a little bit more elaborateon what it is that you do and,
about your chapter as well.
Maureen (06:32):
Oh, well, thank you.
I just wanna thank first Edwinafor the information that she
shared and, and just totally inagreeance in regards to the
importance factor and us beingof color, how it's slightly
different for us.
It's important for us to reallyhave this discussion because
(06:56):
traditionally as black women, wedon't take care of ourselves
first.
We manage to take care ofeveryone else first, whether
that is the children, thehusband, our parents being care
givers to others and ourfamilies.
Everyone gets put in the frontand we get tossed in the back
(07:21):
burner.
That's pretty much what I'mdiscussing in my chapter
Self-care 101 (07:27):
Loving Yourself First, because in order to love
all those people that I justmentioned, you have to first
love yourself?
We have to start teaching andlearning a new narrative, which
is (07:41):
self-care is important and the self-care of myself is
important for my ministry to beable to pour into others.
So I just wanna thank you forthis platform because this is a
very.
Important conversation thatwe're having.
Dr. Makeba (07:58):
Yeah.
I talk about self-love a lot aswell, and the fact that it's not
selfish.
I think a lot of times webelieve that when we focus on
ourselves and, and wanna bealone or wanna take care of
ourselves, that.
We're neglecting ourresponsibilities.
We're not there for those folksthat you mentioned, but we can't
(08:20):
be there, as you said, if we'renot taking care of ourselves, if
we're not a hundred percent, wedon't have what we need to give,
we're gonna deplete ourselvescompletely, and then we're no
good for anybody.
So it is not selfish.
It's necessary.
Edwina (08:35):
Now when we show a different practice, it's frowned
upon, you know?
And I think this movement ofself-care is something that's
essential and I'm so happy tosee black women thriving in
this, this movement ofself-care, because now we're
teaching a new way.
We're teaching them that we'regonna put ourselves first.
Just as Maureen said, we can'tbe whole, we can't be everything
(08:58):
we need to be for those people,and we don't take care of self.
And I, I know so many blackwomen who struggle with that.
The guilt of, of taking care ofthemselves so that they can be
whole and, and they still try togive so much to other people,
myself included.
it is processes unlearned, youknow?
Yeah.
So I, I think this movement isawesome.
(09:20):
I'm so happy to see people likeyou saying it's not selfish.
It's making sure that I improvemy quality of life and add more
years to my life right throughputting me first.
Dr. Makeba (09:31):
And I think the more that we do it The, the more it
will become accepted because ourchildren will see absolutely
that we're doing it and they'llunderstand that it's necessary.
That is part of being a wholehuman, is taking care of
yourself.
Is, is loving yourself.
So Maureen, would you pleaseshare a couple of the, the
(09:52):
practices that you suggest inyour chapter to help people
understand what you mean byloving yourself first?
Maureen (10:00):
Oh, absolutely.
I would love to.
Getting the nails in the hair isgreat, but there's another side
to this self-care.
It could be just taking a bathand locking the door.
Yeah.
And not allowing the kids orexplaining to the kids.
Mommy needs some time.
(10:22):
Do not knock on the door.
Give me a half an hour.
It's also about having thedifficult conversations that you
need to have so that you canhave an inner peace when you
move forward.
Go to work, making decisions,driving in the car, or what may
have you Self care is so manydifferent things.
(10:43):
It can also be a form of prayer.
It could be a form ofjournaling.
It can be something as simple asgetting eight hours of sleep.
Amen.
So we definitely have to movetoward understanding what
self-care means to theindividual.
It may mean hair and nails tome, but it may mean, again,
(11:08):
eight hours sleep to the nextperson and we have to get out of
that definition of it's onlyhair and nails.
It's only you know, going to thestore and, and shopping and so
on and so forth.
Health self-care is alsobudgeting.
(11:28):
Making sure that you have abudget, making sure that you
have a plan for your eatinghabits for the week.
Making sure you drink eightglasses of water.
That day.
So some of the things that Italk about in the chapter are
those things and just gettingthe whole definition of self
(11:49):
care.
Dr. Makeba (11:50):
I love that.
I love that.
It's so true.
I mean, it's so easy to getthrough a whole day and forget
to eat or forget to drink aglass of water, or to be so busy
that you don't make it to thebathroom.
I'll hold it until I finishsending these last five emails,
and then you're like, wait aminute.
(12:10):
That is so important to maketime for your self care.
You are taking care of yourbody.
This human form that we haveneeds fuel, it needs sleep, you
know, all of that.
I appreciate that
Maureen (12:27):
I do wanna add one more thing, Dr.
Makeba that I didn't share.
I wanna also throw in therapy.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
That is a taboo that we don'tnecessarily talk about.
Oh yeah.
In our community, you know?
Yes.
That's great to have a goodgirlfriend that you can
chit-chat and you know, childand you know, go in with, but
(12:49):
it's even better to have aprofessional license to provide
an unbiased opinion in regardsto things that you may be going
through.
So again, difficultconversations.
Dr. Makeba (13:03):
Agree.
Agree.
Edwina (13:04):
I'm glad you, I'm glad you mentioned that, Maureen.
Yes.
I was gonna add that.
If, if nobody else mention itbecause that's another thing
that I advocate for is mentalwellness in our community
against something that's alwayshad a lot of stigma when it
comes to those conversations.
They look at it and they say,oh, that's a, that's a white
(13:26):
person thing, and it's not, it'sa maintenance.
It's, it's okay to hire aprofessional so that you're not
burdening, burdening yoursignificant other or your
girlfriend to have aprofessional that can actually
give you tools to help you getthrough things.
But another thing that I alsowanna add, when it comes to
self-care, is also taking thetime to set boundaries, healthy
(13:47):
boundaries with friends orfamily, or even at work,
deciding that I'm not going totake my work home with me.
Mm-hmm.
Or maybe spending less time onsocial media.
I know for me there was a time.
Where self-care meant to me,digging really deep and
forgiving the people who I felthurt me.
that was a form of self-care forme which also transitioned to
(14:10):
self-love.
So self-care again, as you said,is just deciding what works for
that person and not just pey asvacations and bubble baths.
Self-care means sometimes doingthe difficult work, digging
deeper where it doesn't feelgood, so that long-term that you
can thrive and, and fullyflourish in every, every bit of
(14:32):
yourself and so that you canmove forward and be successful
in every area of your life.
So I, I love, love, love theconversation, and I cannot wait
to read the chapter.
I can't wait.
Dr. Makeba (14:44):
Well, the whole book is really excellent because
there we've got 20.
Plus authors 20 somethingchapters.
And for each chapter it focuseson a different aspect of being a
love warrior.
And a lot of it has to do withbeing strong in, in yourself and
loving yourself.
And there are lots of importantstrategies and, and ideas about
(15:07):
how to prioritize that in yourlife.
We are very knowledgeable onthis call.
We understand that it'simportant, but we have to make
sure that we prioritize thosethings as well.
We have to practice what wepreach and learn different
techniques, cuz our way mightnot be the right way all the
time.
So continuing to learn and growin this area is very essential.
(15:32):
Maureen, you've written many,many books and self-care is a
passion for you, but how did youget to this point?
When did you recognize that thiswas super important?
How did you get here?
Maureen (15:44):
I, I'm definitely gonna have to say that the pandemic
was very instrumental.
And I guess a lot of people canecho those sentiments in regards
to the world stopped, right?
God put the whole world on pauseand we just.
Kept trying to push play, butthe radio wouldn't work.
(16:06):
Right, right.
And so during that time, therewas a lot going on around the
world, but it was a time where Iwas able to get quiet.
I had started going back totherapy and I was trying to put
some things in place like what'sgoing on here?
Yeah.
Why am I having these feelings?
(16:29):
Why am I so restless?
Why am I so tired?
And one of the things that meand my therapist talked about
was that even in, even duringthe pandemic, I didn't know how
to rest.
I didn't know how to, Takeadvantage of the opportunity
that there were no noise.
There was nowhere to go right,and kind of dial it back and get
(16:53):
back to me, self-care 1 0 1 andlove myself first, and to do
those things that I needed to doto pour back into myself.
So that I could pour intoothers.
And it was those simple thingsthat I discussed.
Starting with therapy, but I'm awriter, getting back into
(17:15):
journaling, making that time tojournal, to write, to read, to
paint, to cook, to garden, yes.
To have difficult conversationsthat I needed to pick back up.
That I wasn't having thosedifficult conversations with.
And just like Edwina said, alsoestablishing those boundaries.
(17:35):
Right?
So that was one of the thingsthat had me to come back to my
self care because again, even inthe pandemic, I actually was
working three jobs.
Wow.
And you know, really puttingsome things back into
perspective regarding my budget.
(17:56):
Regarding my purpose, myintention, my goals, and that
circled right back to myself-care whether I'm going to
be intentional or I'mpurposeful, I need to be the
best me.
You know, we talking about"Better me in 2023".
In order for me to walk thosethings out, it comes right back
(18:17):
to me and loving myself first.
Dr. Makeba (18:20):
I mean, you got me thinking about all kinds of
things.
My head is swirling.
I remember when the pandemicfirst began, just the level of
anxiety turned up a notch and ithad a lot to do with security.
Safety and in my line of workwith reiki energy healing,
(18:44):
that's all about the rootchakra.
And so if your foundation isrocked, all your other stuff is
off.
And so absolutely for at least ayear, that first year of the
pandemic, I felt really off.
And I too sought therapy.
I had to get on medication,which again is another thing
(19:06):
that's taboo.
I needed some Zoloft.
I was like, praise the Lord.
This is what I need to get mebalanced again, because the
needle had tipped so far offbecause of the news that I was
consuming, because of theuncertainty about my job
security, because of the fear ofgetting sick.
All of those things made it veryhard to be.
(19:32):
To be still and to be focused,to enjoy the quiet solitude.
I was home worried, like, oh myGod, what's gonna happen?
So, thank you for sharing that.
Maureen (19:47):
Oh, you're welcome and I thank you for sharing your
story cause.
I definitely can relate Yes.
That that whole time during thepandemic was real.
And we definitely need to startopening that up to have those
conversations.
So that people know that you'renot alone.
Yeah.
Dr. Makeba (20:05):
For sure.
For sure.
Edwina, please.
I would love to hear how you gotinto this space.
Share.
I mean, I, I know a lot aboutyou because we work together
right?
For, for some time, but thisaspect is new for you as well.
Yes.
(20:25):
Mm-hmm.
Edwina (20:26):
So the space of self-care and self-love.
How did I get into this space?
Much like you guys, Iexperienced the trials, you know
and to be very transparent, Isaw it my entire life when it
comes to mental health, mentalillness per se.
(20:49):
And it was always that stigmacentered around it.
the thing was, oh, you don'twanna be crazy like uncle so and
so, you don't wanna be runningaround the street like, uncle so
and so, so this is what youdon't do.
There was no education piece toit to let us know this is passed
down from generation togeneration and then also
circumstantial and situational.
All I knew is whatever I feltgrowing up, I had to suppress
(21:13):
it.
Okay?
Mm-hmm.
So that's what I did.
I suppressed it because I didn'tknow what getting help looked
like.
And as I got older, became amother dealt with relationships
and all of life's transitions,all of that childhood trauma
came up.
And now it's right here in frontof me.
And I had to face it and I waslike, there has to be a better
(21:37):
way to deal with this.
Okay.
It has to be a better way todeal with this.
So that is when I startedresearching.
I started researching what itlooked like to heal this part of
myself.
And I sought after a littleknowledge, a little piece at a
time.
And then it wasn't until I hadseasonal depression
consistently, and I contemplatedtaking my own life on a
(21:59):
consistent basis is when I said,now I need that help.
Mm-hmm.
Now I'm okay with getting thathelp.
If I need medication, if I needwhatever, because.
I wanna be here.
you know, I, I thank God forthese little people who were
truly my reason for being here.
And I said, this is, this iswhen I need to love myself more
(22:20):
and I need to implementpractices of self-care so that I
can live a little bit longer.
That's when I really.
Dove into what it looked like totruly be engulfed and inflamed
in self-care and what thatlooked like for me from time to
time.
we know the struggles Whether itis work or whatever.
(22:41):
I question a lot, you know,certain news is a lot to deal
with and I'm losing control assomeone who's always had to be
in control, I'm losing control.
And I don't know what to do, So,I, started to gain this new
sense of self and I started toget his education piece and I I
need to push this out some otherway.
This is when I gave a lot ofenergy to how help, and it
(23:04):
became blogs and series andevents, and I said, God, I don't
wanna be as transparent.
I'm a private person.
Nobody know what's going on.
People see me and they think,oh, she's so pretty.
She got all together stuff likethis.
This is a time when I gotta, Igotta open up.
I gotta be completely honestwith everybody what, what I have
going on.
He was like, it's not about you.
It's not about you.
It's about telling the story sothat you can help someone else.
(23:27):
that was the most difficult timein my life.
The most difficult time in mylife as an adult, and it really
stripped me down so, so, somuch.
Even though I've had thosemoments where I've been stripped
down like this is very difficultonly because I thought I had
done so much work to regain selfand was easily taken back by all
of those circumstances.
So I did a a maternal healthseries and it focused on every
(23:52):
area, particularly black women,when it came to self-care and
self-love and maternal healthand what that looked like.
you know, and again, alltransparency I have a
two-year-old, soon to be threeyear old.
And I just, I put everythinginto that series and when I say
I was completely depleted, but Ifelt so relieved because it was
(24:12):
so, the response was so great.
Everybody was like, I'm glad youdid this.
Yeah.
Like, you don't understand howmuch I needed this.
And I'm like, girl, you don'tunderstand how much I need.
Right.
And it was like, there is a needfor this.
There is a need for this and Ican't let up.
So that's really when I reallytook off and I continued to pour
(24:32):
into people through How in theHealth and through different
avenues when it came toself-care and education about
mental health and mentalillness.
Yeah.
And what it meant to truly loveyourself through trial and
error.
And I had to be transparentbecause we're not perfect.
We're not perfect at all.
And tap into practices likeReiki and meditation and
(24:54):
therapy, all those things thatare truly beneficial when it
comes to total wellness.
So that's essentially myinspiration behind it.
And I love that it's relatablebecause you can see the passion
behind it and when you talk topeople, they feel you a little
bit deeper.
And I think that's where we alsoconnect too, is cuz we get it We
(25:16):
get it.
So that's essentially where theinspiration comes from and I
don't regret going down thispath at all, and I look forward
to seeing where this is going.
Dr. Makeba (25:27):
Well, let me just say first of all, I am thankful,
so grateful to God that you madethe decision to be obedient, to
share to do your own self-careby making yourself so free and
(25:50):
open to people to see that youcan look like one thing on the
outside, but there could be somuch going on on the inside.
it is really our job to loveeach other through it all.
Just not to judge because wedon't know what anybody's going
through.
Right.
Agreed.
I was there with you during thispregnancy and looking at you
(26:12):
wondering, are you okay?
Are you okay?
Yes.
Because it was difficult.
I know that it was difficult,but there's only but so much we
could do sometimes in theseprofessional situations?
So, I thank you that you gotthrough it and that you're
(26:33):
opening yourself up and thatyou're sharing like this because
it's so needed.
Yes.
It's so needed and you are notalone.
I know that you know this noweven more because Right.
I battled with seasonaldepression myself.
Every year I would get allexcited about Christmas, spend
all my money, and then want tolike, Jump off the building
(26:56):
cause I couldn't pay my bills orbecause it would get so dark, so
early, there wasn't enoughsunshine so I was down and
didn't know why.
And people, we don't talk aboutthat kind of, we don't talk
Edwina (27:06):
about it.
We do not talk about it.
And it's, it's a real thing.
it's okay to have theseconversations, People always ask
me all the time, why are youjust so friendly?
And I'm like, I know what it islike to just walk through life
and nobody knows what you'redealing with.
Right?
So one sentence, one thing canreally shift somebody's
perspective.
Dr. Makeba (27:27):
I wanted to just comment on is what you said
about family not really beinghelpful in those situations
because I recall my mother andlove my mother to death, but I
recall her asking me to snap outof it.
And I'm like, I can't.
(27:48):
And, and just because I can't,doesn't mean I'm weak.
It just means something's up,something's wrong.
if I have a bad cough, I need togo to the doctor and get that
checked out.
I am depressed.
I am crying or at the verge oftears every day.
That's not normal.
I know that's not normal and Ican't just snap out of it.
(28:09):
So what's the other alternative.
A lot of people would say, well,go talk to your pastor.
But then that goes back to whatyou said, Maureen, we need
licensed professionals who knowhow to deal with these types of
situations.
And a pastor is not gonna cut itnine times outta 10, cuz that's
not really their specialtyunless they've got some kind of
(28:30):
licensure or degree inpsychology or something So we
have to give our children, ourrelatives, our friends, other
alternatives, the rightalternatives, which is to seek
professional counseling,professional help.
They need somebody to talk tothat understands.
What they're dealing with, whocan diagnose their situation and
(28:52):
who can help them work throughit.
Maureen (28:54):
I'm so glad that you, you touched on that because we
just need to start having theconversation we're very ignorant
in regards to a community.
Yeah.
We just don't know how to havethat conversation, Like you said
Makeba, snap outta it.
Get it together.
But that is the learnt behaviorwhere a lot of us come from.
(29:17):
I know that is the learntbehavior where I come from and
even as a parent, I am startingto learn and not be ignorant
toward, I gotta educate myself.
This is something different.
Especially as our suicide ratesgo up, and especially as we
become such a more sensitivenation as a whole, we are very
(29:41):
sensitive.
You know, right now jokes aren'tjokes.
That's real.
And it's not funny.
So I, I really appreciate youopening up that dialogue because
yeah, it resonated with me.
Thank you.
Edwina (29:55):
I regretted it.
The minute that I gave it toher, she was like, what do you
mean you were depressed andnobody was able, you weren't
able to talk to anybody.
You thought about killingyourself.
And I was like, you know what?
I don't have a space for that.
And as time progressed, becauseit showed up in my sister and it
showed up in my nieces andnephews, I was like, this is a,
(30:16):
a learning opportunity for you.
Let me educate you on what thislooks like because you don't
know any better.
You know, generationally we'vebeen taught there's no such
thing as having theseconversations.
And it's a meme.
That's funny, but it's sorelatable.
It's like, oh, you depressed,depressed, you're hiding and
you're washing dishes.
Dr. Makeba (30:36):
But it, that's right.
Yeah.
It's so,
Edwina (30:38):
it's a real thing.
And it's like we need to becomfortable with the
conversations.
When I, the very first time,When I was in, I'm sorry if I
get emotional, but when I waspregnant with my daughter and I
was going through it and I waslike, I think that the only
thing just not to be here.
And my friends were just likeconfused as to why I wouldn't
answer the phone, why theycouldn't reach me.
(31:01):
It was about them and I waslike, as much as I don't wanna
have this conversation, this iswhat my life looks like.
And their responses were, acouple of'em were like, I hear
you.
Yeah, but what about me?
And I'm like, you don't hear me,right?
Like you don't hear me.
Like, let me educate you.
Like when you go to sleep atnight, you go to sleep and you
(31:23):
wake up and go.
I go to sleep and I hope I don'twake up.
Yeah.
And what's gonna happen isyou're gonna be at my funeral
and you're gonna say, oh, youknow, she, we didn't know she
was struggling.
This is a time where you sit andyou listen and you educate
yourself.
And that's another thing that Ido through health, What
resources can I give to peoplewhen they have a loved one who
(31:44):
suffers from depression, whosuffers from suicidal ideations,
who suffers from anxiety?
These things, like Maureen said,we're very sensitive.
A joke is not a joke anymore.
We're so on edge and myconversations look so much
differently now.
The guy that I'm dating, Iappreciate him so much cuz we're
able to have those verytransparent conversations to
(32:04):
say,"hey, something as simple astaking a shower right now means
the world to me because I'mstruggling." Yeah.
And, and you know, and it's justright.
It's so beautiful, Because we,we can't have those
conversations.
We don't have those safe spaceswe're made.
Like you said, Makeba, we're,we're told that we're weak.
(32:25):
You know, we're told that we'reweak and I just, my, my goal and
my hope is that theseconversations become the norm.
I love that you know, theorganization is developing this
behavioral health hub so that wecan get more funding to that.
I wanna take it to even apolitical area where they stop
taking away funding frombehavioral health and that it's
(32:46):
free for everyone so that we arecomfortable with these
decisions.
I totally understand.
I totally get it.
And Maureen, I applaud you as amother for being open to
understand we say, oh, you justa kid you don't have any real
problems.
But they do.
It's so much different now.
And we wanna be able to beresourceful as possible, as
loving as possible, so that wecan also teach them self love
(33:09):
through that.
Love yourself even if you'redifferent mentally.
Love yourself through the toughsituations and know that you
have a safe space here with,right.
So I love that.
Maureen (33:18):
And I just wanna say Edwina, it was a hard lesson
because I wasn't that parent atfirst.
I was the parent where if youdon't go in there and take a
shower, what is wrong with you?
Why are you sleep?
You know?
So I had to learn the hard way.
And so my prayer is that, youknow, God will restore me and my
(33:39):
daughter's relationship duringthis time as I get more
information, as I educate myselfand as I love myself, as I love
myself first, so that I can beready to pour into her when that
time comes back around.
Edwina (33:56):
Amen.
Dr. Makeba (33:58):
Well, you know, I hear you.
I understand too.
my daughter went through somestuff with her first year in
college where she was sodepressed and failing, but I
didn't wanna pull her out cuz Ifelt like she needed to do
better.
And it, it took me understandinghow to read her chakras, to feel
(34:22):
that her heart chakra was sooff.
She was trying so hard, but shejust couldn't get it.
She couldn't do it.
It wasn't in her.
She was so depressed.
And my spirit guide swooped downand they were like, Pull her
outta school.
And I'm like, but she's gotta goto school.
I have a bachelor's, a master's,and a doctorate.
(34:44):
How's she not even gonna get abachelor's?
So I'm like, she has to do this.
She has to do that.
In my head I'm thinking aboutme.
Like you said, Edwina, like yourfriends were like, well, what
about me?
I'm thinking, what about me?
What's that gonna look like ifyou drop outta school?
But it is not about me.
And so I was able to thankfully,pull her out, get her together
(35:07):
mentally, and now she's thrivingin a school that is for her,
learning fashion, which is herpassion.
Wow.
It really took me as an empath,taking the time to really focus
my attention on her energy andfeeling the authenticity of it.
She wasn't just fooling aroundmaking stuff up.
(35:29):
She felt it deeply in her soulthat it wasn't right for her.
I'm saying all of this to saythat even as attentive parents
who are open to therapy andthings like that, we can miss
things.
Don't beat up on yourself.
We don't know everything.
We're all learning and growing,and we have to be compassionate
(35:52):
with ourselves in the same waythat we are with those around
us.
I have really enjoyed thisconversation.
Thank you all for being so openand sharing your stories.
I mean, we talked aboutself-care and wellness, but we
really got down to some deeprealness and I appreciate that
because that's what the peopleneed to hear.
(36:14):
Thank you so much for tuninginto this episode, you can take
action by educating yourself andseeking support whether through
therapy, meditation, journaling,or setting healthy boundaries.
Remember self care is a journeyand by embracing it, we empower
ourselves to thrive mentally,emotionally, physically, and
(36:35):
spiritually.
Take care.
Love you.
Bye-bye.
Bridge to Nairobi.
Bridge to Nairobi.
Jah, Show us the light Thismovement phonetic the chi is
kinetic You know what's up Wejust leveling up eternal life
Children of light blessings uponyou the truth and the pride
Women heal Earth Cherish yourworth Get us back on track like
rebirth.
Dr. Makeba (00:22):
Welcome to Sol Social with Dr.
Makeba and Friends, the soulnourishing podcast that takes
you on a journey of spiritualityself-discovery and healing.
I'm Dr.
Makeba, and I'm thrilled to beyour guide on this metamorphic
path toward embracing yourpurpose, trusting your intuition
and igniting your inner light.
(00:42):
In this episode, I'm joined bymy friends, Edwina Price and
Maureen Mays for a crucialconversation about self-care and
wellness, especially withincommunities of color.
As we navigate through this eraof self-love, it's evident that
prioritizing self care isessential for our wellbeing.
The conversation takes aninsightful turn toward mental
(01:03):
health awareness within thesecommunities.
As you listen to this episode,consider your own self care
practices.
And how they contribute to youroverall wellness.
Reflect on the culturalinfluences and stigmas that may
have shaped your own perceptionof self care.
Alright.
Let's talk! Good evening.
(01:24):
Good evening.
Good evening.
Today we have a really importantconversation about self-care and
wellness, particularly incommunities of color.
So without further ado, I'd loveto introduce Edwina Price.
Edwina is a native of Georgia.
She's a health education bloggerand a wellness advocate,
(01:47):
community activist andinfluencer.
She is also a wonderful friendof mine and I'm so happy to have
her.
Edwina.
Edwina (01:56):
Thank you so much Makeba for that wonderful introduction.
First, thank you for inviting meon to your podcast with your
beautiful audience.
It is such an honor and aprivilege to be here cause I
know it's a community of love.
And I wanna share that samelove.
I truly believe that loveconquers off.
And on top of that, Wellnesswise, there are a lot of things
(02:19):
that we could recognize.
So Makeba as mentioned I am awellness ambassador and
essentially what I do through mybusiness, How in the Health is I
connect people with resources.
So I have a concept and a theoryof holistic health.
And when we think about holistichealth, we think about like
herbal medicines and all thosegreat things, but holistic is
(02:42):
total so totality.
I like to give attention toevery area of wellness physical
diet, nutrition, fitnessspiritual, social financial,
whatever.
It is all encompassing because.
In order for us to be totallyhealthy and totally well, we
need to give attention to allthose areas.
(03:04):
That is essentially what I do.
I promote health and wellnessthrough many avenues, whether
it's event hosting, connectingwith people, partnering with
people, published literature,volunteering, all that great
stuff.
That's how I put love into theuniverse through health and
wellness.
Dr. Makeba (03:22):
I love it.
One of the things that youmentioned it is that you like to
focus on people of color.
Can you elaborate on that alittle bit more?
Edwina (03:32):
Yes.
People of color, particularlyAfrican Americans, are
disproportionately affected byevery disease.
Very, very terrible, right?
But the thing is, is that wedon't have enough resources that
target people of color.
A lot of the resourceshistorically that have been
published or they're availablethey aren't prepared in a way
(03:56):
that is appealing to ourcommunity.
A lot of what I do is make itrelatable for, people of color.
When it comes to, statistics.
Like a lot of statistics when wedo those longitudinal studies,
there's so much stigma involvedwith those things.
Mm-hmm.
A lot of people of color won'tbe part of those studies.
Right.
So the research isn't applicableto our community.
(04:19):
And while we'redisproportionately affected by
every disease, we don't haveenough resources and enough
people advocating for us.
So times are changing.
I love to partner with peoplewho look like me to help the
community that looks like me.
And so that's a lot of the workthat I do.
I think.
Everyone should be totallyhealthy.
And I'm not biased in that area.
(04:39):
It is just, I know people ofcolor and being a person of
color are disproportionatelyaffected.
And so a lot of my events, a lotof my resources, a lot of my
collaborations, they're forpeople of color.
One of the things that I knowwithin our community when we
talk about health and wellness,it's a small percentage of
people who actually listen.
So you have to find differentavenues and you have to make it
(05:00):
relatable.
That is what I do through how inthe health.
Dr. Makeba (05:04):
I definitely agree with that, and I know as you do,
having gone through Covid overthe past few years, early on in
the Pandemic, we saw how obviousit was that people of color were
disproportionately affecteddying, not getting the care that
they needed.
And then also in terms ofwellness, there was a hesitation
(05:28):
in the black community for sure,to get vaccinated.
Especially due to the historythat we have as a people in
being used as Guinea pigs A lackof trust of the government, I
think really popped out as anissue and a concern, so focusing
on people of color makes senseto me.
I am a person of color myself aswell, so I can relate.
(05:49):
I understand where you're comingfrom, and that's really awesome.
So I would love to introduceMaureen Mays.
Maureen is a six time publishedauthor, her latest read could be
found in chapter three of LoveWarriors: The Conscious Experts
guide to Healing, Joy andManifestation.
I'm a co-author in this bookwith this beautiful queen, and
(06:13):
I'm really glad that she agreedto join us to talk about her
chapter and her work.
Her chapter is called Self-Care1 0 1, which is high on our list
today.
Talk a little bit more elaborateon what it is that you do and,
about your chapter as well.
Maureen (06:32):
Oh, well, thank you.
I just wanna thank first Edwinafor the information that she
shared and, and just totally inagreeance in regards to the
importance factor and us beingof color, how it's slightly
different for us.
It's important for us to reallyhave this discussion because
(06:56):
traditionally as black women, wedon't take care of ourselves
first.
We manage to take care ofeveryone else first, whether
that is the children, thehusband, our parents being care
givers to others and ourfamilies.
Everyone gets put in the frontand we get tossed in the back
(07:21):
burner.
That's pretty much what I'mdiscussing in my chapter
Self-care 101 (07:27):
Loving Yourself First, because in order to love
all those people that I justmentioned, you have to first
love yourself?
We have to start teaching andlearning a new narrative, which
is (07:41):
self-care is important and the self-care of myself is
important for my ministry to beable to pour into others.
So I just wanna thank you forthis platform because this is a
very.
Important conversation thatwe're having.
Dr. Makeba (07:58):
Yeah.
I talk about self-love a lot aswell, and the fact that it's not
selfish.
I think a lot of times webelieve that when we focus on
ourselves and, and wanna bealone or wanna take care of
ourselves, that.
We're neglecting ourresponsibilities.
We're not there for those folksthat you mentioned, but we can't
(08:20):
be there, as you said, if we'renot taking care of ourselves, if
we're not a hundred percent, wedon't have what we need to give,
we're gonna deplete ourselvescompletely, and then we're no
good for anybody.
So it is not selfish.
It's necessary.
Edwina (08:35):
Now when we show a different practice, it's frowned
upon, you know?
And I think this movement ofself-care is something that's
essential and I'm so happy tosee black women thriving in
this, this movement ofself-care, because now we're
teaching a new way.
We're teaching them that we'regonna put ourselves first.
Just as Maureen said, we can'tbe whole, we can't be everything
(08:58):
we need to be for those people,and we don't take care of self.
And I, I know so many blackwomen who struggle with that.
The guilt of, of taking care ofthemselves so that they can be
whole and, and they still try togive so much to other people,
myself included.
it is processes unlearned, youknow?
Yeah.
So I, I think this movement isawesome.
(09:20):
I'm so happy to see people likeyou saying it's not selfish.
It's making sure that I improvemy quality of life and add more
years to my life right throughputting me first.
Dr. Makeba (09:31):
And I think the more that we do it The, the more it
will become accepted because ourchildren will see absolutely
that we're doing it and they'llunderstand that it's necessary.
That is part of being a wholehuman, is taking care of
yourself.
Is, is loving yourself.
So Maureen, would you pleaseshare a couple of the, the
(09:52):
practices that you suggest inyour chapter to help people
understand what you mean byloving yourself first?
Maureen (10:00):
Oh, absolutely.
I would love to.
Getting the nails in the hair isgreat, but there's another side
to this self-care.
It could be just taking a bathand locking the door.
Yeah.
And not allowing the kids orexplaining to the kids.
Mommy needs some time.
(10:22):
Do not knock on the door.
Give me a half an hour.
It's also about having thedifficult conversations that you
need to have so that you canhave an inner peace when you
move forward.
Go to work, making decisions,driving in the car, or what may
have you Self care is so manydifferent things.
(10:43):
It can also be a form of prayer.
It could be a form ofjournaling.
It can be something as simple asgetting eight hours of sleep.
Amen.
So we definitely have to movetoward understanding what
self-care means to theindividual.
It may mean hair and nails tome, but it may mean, again,
(11:08):
eight hours sleep to the nextperson and we have to get out of
that definition of it's onlyhair and nails.
It's only you know, going to thestore and, and shopping and so
on and so forth.
Health self-care is alsobudgeting.
(11:28):
Making sure that you have abudget, making sure that you
have a plan for your eatinghabits for the week.
Making sure you drink eightglasses of water.
That day.
So some of the things that Italk about in the chapter are
those things and just gettingthe whole definition of self
(11:49):
care.
Dr. Makeba (11:50):
I love that.
I love that.
It's so true.
I mean, it's so easy to getthrough a whole day and forget
to eat or forget to drink aglass of water, or to be so busy
that you don't make it to thebathroom.
I'll hold it until I finishsending these last five emails,
and then you're like, wait aminute.
(12:10):
That is so important to maketime for your self care.
You are taking care of yourbody.
This human form that we haveneeds fuel, it needs sleep, you
know, all of that.
I appreciate that
Maureen (12:27):
I do wanna add one more thing, Dr.
Makeba that I didn't share.
I wanna also throw in therapy.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
That is a taboo that we don'tnecessarily talk about.
Oh yeah.
In our community, you know?
Yes.
That's great to have a goodgirlfriend that you can
chit-chat and you know, childand you know, go in with, but
(12:49):
it's even better to have aprofessional license to provide
an unbiased opinion in regardsto things that you may be going
through.
So again, difficultconversations.
Dr. Makeba (13:03):
Agree.
Agree.
Edwina (13:04):
I'm glad you, I'm glad you mentioned that, Maureen.
Yes.
I was gonna add that.
If, if nobody else mention itbecause that's another thing
that I advocate for is mentalwellness in our community
against something that's alwayshad a lot of stigma when it
comes to those conversations.
They look at it and they say,oh, that's a, that's a white
(13:26):
person thing, and it's not, it'sa maintenance.
It's, it's okay to hire aprofessional so that you're not
burdening, burdening yoursignificant other or your
girlfriend to have aprofessional that can actually
give you tools to help you getthrough things.
But another thing that I alsowanna add, when it comes to
self-care, is also taking thetime to set boundaries, healthy
(13:47):
boundaries with friends orfamily, or even at work,
deciding that I'm not going totake my work home with me.
Mm-hmm.
Or maybe spending less time onsocial media.
I know for me there was a time.
Where self-care meant to me,digging really deep and
forgiving the people who I felthurt me.
that was a form of self-care forme which also transitioned to
(14:10):
self-love.
So self-care again, as you said,is just deciding what works for
that person and not just pey asvacations and bubble baths.
Self-care means sometimes doingthe difficult work, digging
deeper where it doesn't feelgood, so that long-term that you
can thrive and, and fullyflourish in every, every bit of
(14:32):
yourself and so that you canmove forward and be successful
in every area of your life.
So I, I love, love, love theconversation, and I cannot wait
to read the chapter.
I can't wait.
Dr. Makeba (14:44):
Well, the whole book is really excellent because
there we've got 20.
Plus authors 20 somethingchapters.
And for each chapter it focuseson a different aspect of being a
love warrior.
And a lot of it has to do withbeing strong in, in yourself and
loving yourself.
And there are lots of importantstrategies and, and ideas about
(15:07):
how to prioritize that in yourlife.
We are very knowledgeable onthis call.
We understand that it'simportant, but we have to make
sure that we prioritize thosethings as well.
We have to practice what wepreach and learn different
techniques, cuz our way mightnot be the right way all the
time.
So continuing to learn and growin this area is very essential.
(15:32):
Maureen, you've written many,many books and self-care is a
passion for you, but how did youget to this point?
When did you recognize that thiswas super important?
How did you get here?
Maureen (15:44):
I, I'm definitely gonna have to say that the pandemic
was very instrumental.
And I guess a lot of people canecho those sentiments in regards
to the world stopped, right?
God put the whole world on pauseand we just.
Kept trying to push play, butthe radio wouldn't work.
(16:06):
Right, right.
And so during that time, therewas a lot going on around the
world, but it was a time where Iwas able to get quiet.
I had started going back totherapy and I was trying to put
some things in place like what'sgoing on here?
Yeah.
Why am I having these feelings?
(16:29):
Why am I so restless?
Why am I so tired?
And one of the things that meand my therapist talked about
was that even in, even duringthe pandemic, I didn't know how
to rest.
I didn't know how to, Takeadvantage of the opportunity
that there were no noise.
There was nowhere to go right,and kind of dial it back and get
(16:53):
back to me, self-care 1 0 1 andlove myself first, and to do
those things that I needed to doto pour back into myself.
So that I could pour intoothers.
And it was those simple thingsthat I discussed.
Starting with therapy, but I'm awriter, getting back into
(17:15):
journaling, making that time tojournal, to write, to read, to
paint, to cook, to garden, yes.
To have difficult conversationsthat I needed to pick back up.
That I wasn't having thosedifficult conversations with.
And just like Edwina said, alsoestablishing those boundaries.
(17:35):
Right?
So that was one of the thingsthat had me to come back to my
self care because again, even inthe pandemic, I actually was
working three jobs.
Wow.
And you know, really puttingsome things back into
perspective regarding my budget.
(17:56):
Regarding my purpose, myintention, my goals, and that
circled right back to myself-care whether I'm going to
be intentional or I'mpurposeful, I need to be the
best me.
You know, we talking about"Better me in 2023".
In order for me to walk thosethings out, it comes right back
(18:17):
to me and loving myself first.
Dr. Makeba (18:20):
I mean, you got me thinking about all kinds of
things.
My head is swirling.
I remember when the pandemicfirst began, just the level of
anxiety turned up a notch and ithad a lot to do with security.
Safety and in my line of workwith reiki energy healing,
(18:44):
that's all about the rootchakra.
And so if your foundation isrocked, all your other stuff is
off.
And so absolutely for at least ayear, that first year of the
pandemic, I felt really off.
And I too sought therapy.
I had to get on medication,which again is another thing
(19:06):
that's taboo.
I needed some Zoloft.
I was like, praise the Lord.
This is what I need to get mebalanced again, because the
needle had tipped so far offbecause of the news that I was
consuming, because of theuncertainty about my job
security, because of the fear ofgetting sick.
All of those things made it veryhard to be.
(19:32):
To be still and to be focused,to enjoy the quiet solitude.
I was home worried, like, oh myGod, what's gonna happen?
So, thank you for sharing that.
Maureen (19:47):
Oh, you're welcome and I thank you for sharing your
story cause.
I definitely can relate Yes.
That that whole time during thepandemic was real.
And we definitely need to startopening that up to have those
conversations.
So that people know that you'renot alone.
Yeah.
Dr. Makeba (20:05):
For sure.
For sure.
Edwina, please.
I would love to hear how you gotinto this space.
Share.
I mean, I, I know a lot aboutyou because we work together
right?
For, for some time, but thisaspect is new for you as well.
Yes.
(20:25):
Mm-hmm.
Edwina (20:26):
So the space of self-care and self-love.
How did I get into this space?
Much like you guys, Iexperienced the trials, you know
and to be very transparent, Isaw it my entire life when it
comes to mental health, mentalillness per se.
(20:49):
And it was always that stigmacentered around it.
the thing was, oh, you don'twanna be crazy like uncle so and
so, you don't wanna be runningaround the street like, uncle so
and so, so this is what youdon't do.
There was no education piece toit to let us know this is passed
down from generation togeneration and then also
circumstantial and situational.
All I knew is whatever I feltgrowing up, I had to suppress
(21:13):
it.
Okay?
Mm-hmm.
So that's what I did.
I suppressed it because I didn'tknow what getting help looked
like.
And as I got older, became amother dealt with relationships
and all of life's transitions,all of that childhood trauma
came up.
And now it's right here in frontof me.
And I had to face it and I waslike, there has to be a better
(21:37):
way to deal with this.
Okay.
It has to be a better way todeal with this.
So that is when I startedresearching.
I started researching what itlooked like to heal this part of
myself.
And I sought after a littleknowledge, a little piece at a
time.
And then it wasn't until I hadseasonal depression
consistently, and I contemplatedtaking my own life on a
(21:59):
consistent basis is when I said,now I need that help.
Mm-hmm.
Now I'm okay with getting thathelp.
If I need medication, if I needwhatever, because.
I wanna be here.
you know, I, I thank God forthese little people who were
truly my reason for being here.
And I said, this is, this iswhen I need to love myself more
(22:20):
and I need to implementpractices of self-care so that I
can live a little bit longer.
That's when I really.
Dove into what it looked like totruly be engulfed and inflamed
in self-care and what thatlooked like for me from time to
time.
we know the struggles Whether itis work or whatever.
(22:41):
I question a lot, you know,certain news is a lot to deal
with and I'm losing control assomeone who's always had to be
in control, I'm losing control.
And I don't know what to do, So,I, started to gain this new
sense of self and I started toget his education piece and I I
need to push this out some otherway.
This is when I gave a lot ofenergy to how help, and it
(23:04):
became blogs and series andevents, and I said, God, I don't
wanna be as transparent.
I'm a private person.
Nobody know what's going on.
People see me and they think,oh, she's so pretty.
She got all together stuff likethis.
This is a time when I gotta, Igotta open up.
I gotta be completely honestwith everybody what, what I have
going on.
He was like, it's not about you.
It's not about you.
It's about telling the story sothat you can help someone else.
(23:27):
that was the most difficult timein my life.
The most difficult time in mylife as an adult, and it really
stripped me down so, so, somuch.
Even though I've had thosemoments where I've been stripped
down like this is very difficultonly because I thought I had
done so much work to regain selfand was easily taken back by all
of those circumstances.
So I did a a maternal healthseries and it focused on every
(23:52):
area, particularly black women,when it came to self-care and
self-love and maternal healthand what that looked like.
you know, and again, alltransparency I have a
two-year-old, soon to be threeyear old.
And I just, I put everythinginto that series and when I say
I was completely depleted, but Ifelt so relieved because it was
(24:12):
so, the response was so great.
Everybody was like, I'm glad youdid this.
Yeah.
Like, you don't understand howmuch I needed this.
And I'm like, girl, you don'tunderstand how much I need.
Right.
And it was like, there is a needfor this.
There is a need for this and Ican't let up.
So that's really when I reallytook off and I continued to pour
(24:32):
into people through How in theHealth and through different
avenues when it came toself-care and education about
mental health and mentalillness.
Yeah.
And what it meant to truly loveyourself through trial and
error.
And I had to be transparentbecause we're not perfect.
We're not perfect at all.
And tap into practices likeReiki and meditation and
(24:54):
therapy, all those things thatare truly beneficial when it
comes to total wellness.
So that's essentially myinspiration behind it.
And I love that it's relatablebecause you can see the passion
behind it and when you talk topeople, they feel you a little
bit deeper.
And I think that's where we alsoconnect too, is cuz we get it We
(25:16):
get it.
So that's essentially where theinspiration comes from and I
don't regret going down thispath at all, and I look forward
to seeing where this is going.
Dr. Makeba (25:27):
Well, let me just say first of all, I am thankful,
so grateful to God that you madethe decision to be obedient, to
share to do your own self-careby making yourself so free and
(25:50):
open to people to see that youcan look like one thing on the
outside, but there could be somuch going on on the inside.
it is really our job to loveeach other through it all.
Just not to judge because wedon't know what anybody's going
through.
Right.
Agreed.
I was there with you during thispregnancy and looking at you
(26:12):
wondering, are you okay?
Are you okay?
Yes.
Because it was difficult.
I know that it was difficult,but there's only but so much we
could do sometimes in theseprofessional situations?
So, I thank you that you gotthrough it and that you're
(26:33):
opening yourself up and thatyou're sharing like this because
it's so needed.
Yes.
It's so needed and you are notalone.
I know that you know this noweven more because Right.
I battled with seasonaldepression myself.
Every year I would get allexcited about Christmas, spend
all my money, and then want tolike, Jump off the building
(26:56):
cause I couldn't pay my bills orbecause it would get so dark, so
early, there wasn't enoughsunshine so I was down and
didn't know why.
And people, we don't talk aboutthat kind of, we don't talk
Edwina (27:06):
about it.
We do not talk about it.
And it's, it's a real thing.
it's okay to have theseconversations, People always ask
me all the time, why are youjust so friendly?
And I'm like, I know what it islike to just walk through life
and nobody knows what you'redealing with.
Right?
So one sentence, one thing canreally shift somebody's
perspective.
Dr. Makeba (27:27):
I wanted to just comment on is what you said
about family not really beinghelpful in those situations
because I recall my mother andlove my mother to death, but I
recall her asking me to snap outof it.
And I'm like, I can't.
(27:48):
And, and just because I can't,doesn't mean I'm weak.
It just means something's up,something's wrong.
if I have a bad cough, I need togo to the doctor and get that
checked out.
I am depressed.
I am crying or at the verge oftears every day.
That's not normal.
I know that's not normal and Ican't just snap out of it.
(28:09):
So what's the other alternative.
A lot of people would say, well,go talk to your pastor.
But then that goes back to whatyou said, Maureen, we need
licensed professionals who knowhow to deal with these types of
situations.
And a pastor is not gonna cut itnine times outta 10, cuz that's
not really their specialtyunless they've got some kind of
(28:30):
licensure or degree inpsychology or something So we
have to give our children, ourrelatives, our friends, other
alternatives, the rightalternatives, which is to seek
professional counseling,professional help.
They need somebody to talk tothat understands.
What they're dealing with, whocan diagnose their situation and
(28:52):
who can help them work throughit.
Maureen (28:54):
I'm so glad that you, you touched on that because we
just need to start having theconversation we're very ignorant
in regards to a community.
Yeah.
We just don't know how to havethat conversation, Like you said
Makeba, snap outta it.
Get it together.
But that is the learnt behaviorwhere a lot of us come from.
(29:17):
I know that is the learntbehavior where I come from and
even as a parent, I am startingto learn and not be ignorant
toward, I gotta educate myself.
This is something different.
Especially as our suicide ratesgo up, and especially as we
become such a more sensitivenation as a whole, we are very
(29:41):
sensitive.
You know, right now jokes aren'tjokes.
That's real.
And it's not funny.
So I, I really appreciate youopening up that dialogue because
yeah, it resonated with me.
Thank you.
Edwina (29:55):
I regretted it.
The minute that I gave it toher, she was like, what do you
mean you were depressed andnobody was able, you weren't
able to talk to anybody.
You thought about killingyourself.
And I was like, you know what?
I don't have a space for that.
And as time progressed, becauseit showed up in my sister and it
showed up in my nieces andnephews, I was like, this is a,
(30:16):
a learning opportunity for you.
Let me educate you on what thislooks like because you don't
know any better.
You know, generationally we'vebeen taught there's no such
thing as having theseconversations.
And it's a meme.
That's funny, but it's sorelatable.
It's like, oh, you depressed,depressed, you're hiding and
you're washing dishes.
Dr. Makeba (30:36):
But it, that's right.
Yeah.
It's so,
Edwina (30:38):
it's a real thing.
And it's like we need to becomfortable with the
conversations.
When I, the very first time,When I was in, I'm sorry if I
get emotional, but when I waspregnant with my daughter and I
was going through it and I waslike, I think that the only
thing just not to be here.
And my friends were just likeconfused as to why I wouldn't
answer the phone, why theycouldn't reach me.
(31:01):
It was about them and I waslike, as much as I don't wanna
have this conversation, this iswhat my life looks like.
And their responses were, acouple of'em were like, I hear
you.
Yeah, but what about me?
And I'm like, you don't hear me,right?
Like you don't hear me.
Like, let me educate you.
Like when you go to sleep atnight, you go to sleep and you
(31:23):
wake up and go.
I go to sleep and I hope I don'twake up.
Yeah.
And what's gonna happen isyou're gonna be at my funeral
and you're gonna say, oh, youknow, she, we didn't know she
was struggling.
This is a time where you sit andyou listen and you educate
yourself.
And that's another thing that Ido through health, What
resources can I give to peoplewhen they have a loved one who
(31:44):
suffers from depression, whosuffers from suicidal ideations,
who suffers from anxiety?
These things, like Maureen said,we're very sensitive.
A joke is not a joke anymore.
We're so on edge and myconversations look so much
differently now.
The guy that I'm dating, Iappreciate him so much cuz we're
able to have those verytransparent conversations to
(32:04):
say,"hey, something as simple astaking a shower right now means
the world to me because I'mstruggling." Yeah.
And, and you know, and it's justright.
It's so beautiful, Because we,we can't have those
conversations.
We don't have those safe spaceswe're made.
Like you said, Makeba, we're,we're told that we're weak.
(32:25):
You know, we're told that we'reweak and I just, my, my goal and
my hope is that theseconversations become the norm.
I love that you know, theorganization is developing this
behavioral health hub so that wecan get more funding to that.
I wanna take it to even apolitical area where they stop
taking away funding frombehavioral health and that it's
(32:46):
free for everyone so that we arecomfortable with these
decisions.
I totally understand.
I totally get it.
And Maureen, I applaud you as amother for being open to
understand we say, oh, you justa kid you don't have any real
problems.
But they do.
It's so much different now.
And we wanna be able to beresourceful as possible, as
loving as possible, so that wecan also teach them self love
(33:09):
through that.
Love yourself even if you'redifferent mentally.
Love yourself through the toughsituations and know that you
have a safe space here with,right.
So I love that.
Maureen (33:18):
And I just wanna say Edwina, it was a hard lesson
because I wasn't that parent atfirst.
I was the parent where if youdon't go in there and take a
shower, what is wrong with you?
Why are you sleep?
You know?
So I had to learn the hard way.
And so my prayer is that, youknow, God will restore me and my
(33:39):
daughter's relationship duringthis time as I get more
information, as I educate myselfand as I love myself, as I love
myself first, so that I can beready to pour into her when that
time comes back around.
Edwina (33:56):
Amen.
Dr. Makeba (33:58):
Well, you know, I hear you.
I understand too.
my daughter went through somestuff with her first year in
college where she was sodepressed and failing, but I
didn't wanna pull her out cuz Ifelt like she needed to do
better.
And it, it took me understandinghow to read her chakras, to feel
(34:22):
that her heart chakra was sooff.
She was trying so hard, but shejust couldn't get it.
She couldn't do it.
It wasn't in her.
She was so depressed.
And my spirit guide swooped downand they were like, Pull her
outta school.
And I'm like, but she's gotta goto school.
I have a bachelor's, a master's,and a doctorate.
(34:44):
How's she not even gonna get abachelor's?
So I'm like, she has to do this.
She has to do that.
In my head I'm thinking aboutme.
Like you said, Edwina, like yourfriends were like, well, what
about me?
I'm thinking, what about me?
What's that gonna look like ifyou drop outta school?
But it is not about me.
And so I was able to thankfully,pull her out, get her together
(35:07):
mentally, and now she's thrivingin a school that is for her,
learning fashion, which is herpassion.
Wow.
It really took me as an empath,taking the time to really focus
my attention on her energy andfeeling the authenticity of it.
She wasn't just fooling aroundmaking stuff up.
(35:29):
She felt it deeply in her soulthat it wasn't right for her.
I'm saying all of this to saythat even as attentive parents
who are open to therapy andthings like that, we can miss
things.
Don't beat up on yourself.
We don't know everything.
We're all learning and growing,and we have to be compassionate
(35:52):
with ourselves in the same waythat we are with those around
us.
I have really enjoyed thisconversation.
Thank you all for being so openand sharing your stories.
I mean, we talked aboutself-care and wellness, but we
really got down to some deeprealness and I appreciate that
because that's what the peopleneed to hear.
(36:14):
Thank you so much for tuninginto this episode, you can take
action by educating yourself andseeking support whether through
therapy, meditation, journaling,or setting healthy boundaries.
Remember self care is a journeyand by embracing it, we empower
ourselves to thrive mentally,emotionally, physically, and
(36:35):
spiritually.
Take care.
Love you.
Bye-bye.
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