SPFPP 384: Can You Be Nonmonogamous if You Have Herpes?

Yes. For those who like the short version of things, you absolutely can be Nonmonogamous if you have herpes. I talk from my own personal experience in this podcast episode and shake the dust off from not talking about my experience for so long, being mindful of those around me so I don’t talk about my partners or offer too much detail there just out of respect to them.

When navigating a herpes diagnosis and dating/relationships it’s important that we just get comfortable sharing who we are, naming our needs, and understand there will be people who do and don’t want to support us in meeting those needs. Some people align, others don’t. When we can detach from the expectation of getting our needs met from a specific person or group of people, we find that a lot of our resistances to getting what we want evoke detached as well.

I share why I find nonmonogamy, particularly polyamory appealing from the perspective of my even platonic relationships with women having been a threat to past partners. Hell even my work through SPFPP has been a challenge to navigate in past relationships due to jealousy of me having found fulfillment in my work and the impact people share that I’ve made on them being a trigger for partners.

All that to say, I have herpes and it’s out there to the world and I’m still finding love, fulfillment, relationships, and this wouldn’t be possible if I was hidden in the shame of believing my herpes status defined my relationship structure so I want you to look at that for yourself and move forward in a way that works for you!