Selfed
Selfed is my personal decompression chamber. This space is intended for my own growth through curiosity, creativity, and connection. Why is Selfed a podcast and not just a journal entry? Because it's uncomfortable being real. I choose to exercise aligning my values of freedom and safety as I explore my own identity out loud in a way that can hopefully be useful to others. This space is one of presence, identity validation, and healing my own internalized stigmas and processing life events and challenges of being human. Most of all, it's a space for me to say I don't know, and find out!
Episodes
What receives our emotional intensity manifests into form. We develop an identity that becomes an attachment to that form by relationship. The greater the emotional intensity created by the raw material (our time, resources, energy, money, awareness, presence), the more disconnected we become from our true nature. The nature of a thing is more important than the form of a thing, per my man Brok from God of War Ragnarok. Our role in...
In this episode of Selfed, I set out to talk about sex and ended up reflecting on reciprocity. Through the lens of the 69 position, I explore how life is a dance of giving and getting, of learning to balance energies that often feel off, especially after grief, loss, and transition.
I share the aftermath of a breakup that shook the ground beneath me literally and figuratively. From moving across the country three times, losing my ho...
This journal entry is about recapping my experience at Zoukfest NYC. Brazilian Zouk is a form of dance that’s around 30 years old and is born from Lombada. It’s sensual and . . . that’s all I can remember from my lessons. But I started learning this in August and got an immersive experience this past weekend in workshops and there were big emotions that came up for me as someone learning not only to dance Zouk, but to learn to danc...
I make some connections between the mechanics of doing versus the authentic expression of being. I’m taking Brazilian Zouk class and I recognize how I do one thing is how I do everything. In football, I was mechanical and it was “enough” to get by and to my goal. In relationships, work, it was all the same, but where I broke through this was in Yoga, running my nonprofit, podcasting. I find the most success when the mechanics becom...
I’m in a place of feeling fulfilled and recognize this state as damn near opposite what I was just 2 months ago. My therapist helped me process some things and I share about that session and how hard it was to say out loud, AND how much growth I’ve had since starting therapy in 2020. Regardless how I can’t stand my therapist, he’s good at his job and helps me show up without using ya’ll to process TOO much rawness.
This episode I make a confession public about how I’ve been using AI to learn about the cosmos from the level of quantum physics. I’ve been teaching myself the language of spirituality in a way that makes sense to me. I reflect on how I’ve been using the nervous system in place of the solar system and I relate this to having had some of the best sex I’ve ever had most recently sharing intimacy in mutually present interactions. The ...
I liked the wordplay on this one as I speak to exercising the remembrance of the joy of curiosity and exploration! The Sex Down South Conference in 2023 was an incredible experience for me, 2024 was quite different and I wasn’t myself, and this year (2025) it was like I picked up from where I left off. I’ve been reminded by the Universe to just play, and I gave myself permission to do just that, and while it shouldn’t be a surprise...
Sometimes as men, we mature emotionally at the expense of women’s emotional labor. Fortunately soon after a first date I caught that for myself. While she presented herself as a safe container for me to express these raw thoughts, it still felt like progressing forward would just be more of that.
2025 has been a long year and the first half I dealt with lots of compounding events that despite 7 months passing since my breakup, ...
Yesterday’s therapy session gave hard language to my atomic living framework I’m operating from with us closing out our sessions on navigating the shaping of my identity through the end of my most recent relationship.
In this episode I process my most recent therapy session which came the day after a solid 30 minute joyful cry listening to Alicia Keys - Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart” which felt like an arrival for me. I reco...
What if I told you our nervous system functions metaphorically the same way the solar system does? As I’m leaning into this Atomic Living model, I’m recognizing the world “out there” in space is quite synchronous to the world within us.
In this episode I process my last therapy session in a way that I can equate to wringing out a wet rag of emotional clean up from the aftermath of my relationship with my ex. I intend for this t...
In this episode of Selfed, I reflect on what it means to be a straight Black man in queer spaces—without trying to fix, take, or define the room. I explore how anime characters like Tanjiro from Demon Slayer model a version of masculinity that isn’t about dominance or ego, but alignment, empathy, and rhythm. I talk about presence as an offering, about learning from queer communities and Black women, and about how I’m navigating my ...
Hey hey! I read my journal entry this morning that began with me talking about how what I want doesn’t matter. I know I know, but hear me out, it’s really about what the moment calls for because what I want changes and as we know, a successful life calls for stability. The only stable force other than gravity that I’m aware of is presence.
But what is presence, how do we be present “with” or “for” ourselves and others? I’m lear...
In this episode, I reflect on the storms—both literal and emotional—that have been moving through my life. After the tornado hit St. Louis and forced me into displacement, I found myself back in the same room where my ex and I once stayed. For five days, I dreamt of her. Those dreams held pain, longing, and eventually, closure.
This wasn’t just about her, though. It was a cosmic nudge, reminding me of a path I once knew but had deto...
I needed to just bitch about my feelings about my breakup. I'm grateful to the people who've heard me out, but I needed to really be able to let go of the energetic residue of that relationship. I've filtered my existence out of respect for her, and I realized that, while 'nice' is the exact thing that got me here in the first place.
I just say all the things that I have been holding onto that creep out unco...
In this episode, I needed space to be with my own grief, so that’s what I created—and I’m sharing it in case you need that too. I talk about how easy it is to spread our energy across different identities and expectations, and how reclaiming that energy starts with presence. This meditation isn’t fancy. It’s raw. It’s real. And it’s grounded in a message I heard that hit deep: God creates by deciding and allowing. That’s the practi...
Hey y'all, it’s Courtney. In this episode, I’m opening up about some major shifts in my life and work. After starting Self as a nonprofit, I realized it wasn’t sustainable to build something new while maintaining Something Positive for Positive People and everything else I’ve got going on. So, I made the decision to let go of Selfed as a nonprofit and reshape it into a space that serves as an outlet for my personal journey with emo...
In this episode of Selfed, we recap the Black Men's Emotional Wellness Symposium, a transformative event focused on deconstructing the "high value man" through four key entry points: fitness, spirituality, leadership, and vulnerability.
Dr. Rodrick Stewart led a conversation redefining fitness as more than physical appearance, emphasizing holistic health, nutrition, and stress management to address long-term conditions like hyperte...
Man am I grieving! It’s taken 23 years for a specific event to make its way into my healing space legitimately. The passing of my grandmother in 2001 had multiple layers to it from her being who protected my mom from coerced abortion to her funeral being on my 13th birthday. For as much self-work as I’ve done, it all prepared me for this triggering election as well as supporting my girlfriend and her family through the loss of her ...
In Selfed 52: Having Anger, we explore the journey of healing and self-awareness through the lens of anger. Courtney Brame discusses the surprise of old emotions resurfacing despite significant self-development progress. He shares a personal story about a recent burst of anger that, left unprocessed, affected him in an unexpected area of life: intimacy. Reflecting on how emotions manifest physically, Courtney unpacks the importance...
In Episode 51 of Selfed, I dive into the world of Yoga Therapy and explore why this healing modality is just as important for Black men as any other. I share my personal journey of discovering the transformative power of yoga therapy, the differences and similarities between therapy and yoga therapy, and why I believe this practice should be more accessible—both financially and psychologically—for Black men. This episode is for any...
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