Somewhere in the Middle Welcomes Connie S. Johnson and Rufus D. Stephens, Co-authors of Leave a Mark!
Connie S. Johnson
Connie Johnson is a graduate of Tuskegee University with a B.S in Elementary Education. Later, her heart required that she equip herself with new ways to help her students work through traumas and become their greatest selves. She then went on to earn her M.Ed. from the University of West Alabama.
Connie has worked in the field of education for 17 years and she is in her 8th year as an elementary school counselor. Her prime objective is to impact her students for greatness. In 2022, she co-authored, with her father Rufus Stephens, an exceptional book entitled, “Leave A Mark!” Amazon released the book as its #1 New Release in the Education and Teacher category.
Rufus D. StephensRufus Stephens is a native of Savannah, GA. He graduated from Savannah State University and pursued a graduate degree at the University of Florida. He is a former business owner, corporate executive and an ordained minister. In 2015 he formed a speaking company called “Raisin’ the Rufe Communications”. He is currently a motivational speaker, author and voice over talent. He has authored two books. The first, “Life Lessons from Miss Mattie” chronicles the life of his mother, a single mom of five and educator in the deep south. The next book, “Leave A Mark!”, he co-authored with his daughter, Connie S. Johnson.
Mr. Stephens’ life is defined by his unrelenting passion for encouraging others. His presentation goal is to “always leave audiences better off than when they came.”
Connect with Rufus and ConnieConnie's Author Website: https://conniejohnson.authorsites.co/
Rufus's Author Website: https://rufusdstephens.authorsites.co/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Michele A. Barard (02:08):
Happy Friday, everyone. Welcome to somewhere
in the show. I'm your host,Michele Barard Founder and CEO,
Michele Ebert. And I'm reallyhappy to share this hour with
you for week seven, all thoseplaces where spirit insights and
the joys and challenges thatmean you guys been listening for
a while so you know that I liketo start by thanking Miss
(02:29):
Beverly black and tribe familychannel for helping me create
the space for us. Track down thechannel is sort of thought
provoking shows that explorelife, spirit, business and
culture, including the woman aswell hosted by Miss Beverly
black herself. Somewhere in themiddle was born on Trump image.
And though we have grown ontoour own platform, we are ever
(02:50):
grateful and loyal to our roots.To paraphrase an African
proverb, we are here onlybecause we stand on the
shoulders of those who camebefore us. I want to say thank
you to my guests on the July 21show, massage and Wellness
Business Consultant, Gail wood,you can connect with Gail on
social media and at her website,www dot elevate with gail.com
(03:14):
and that's Gail spelled G A E L.If you missed that show, make
sure you listen to the replay.You can find that complete show
archives including the July 21show at the summer in the middle
podcast.com. I also want toshout out your shortage of the
geniuses common movement, whichencourages all of us to embrace
our energies and share it withthe world. You guys know I think
(03:36):
this is a really importantmessage. We should share it with
the kids but also, we adultsneed to be reminded sometimes
that the world needs our genius.Learn more about the geniuses
common movement at WWW dotgenius is coming.com Now, this
month's guests inspire educatorsand parents to help children
(03:57):
become their best selves. ConnieJohnson is a graduate of
Tuskegee University with a BS inelementary education. Later, her
heart required that she equippedherself with new ways to help
her students work throughtraumas and become their
greatest sense. She then went onto earn her master's in
education from the University ofWest Alabama. Connie has worked
(04:20):
in the field of education for 17years, and she is in her eighth
year as an elementary schoolcounselor. Her prime objective
is to impact our students forgreatness. In 2022. She co
authored with her father, RufusStevens, and exceptional book
entitled leave a mark. Amazonreleased the book as its number
(04:41):
one new release in the educationand teacher category. Rufus
Stevens is a native of Savannah,Georgia. He graduated from
Savannah State University andpursued a graduate degree at the
University of Florida. He is aformer business owner, corporate
executive, and an ER Daneminister. In 2015, he formed a
(05:03):
speaking company called raisingthe roof communications. He's a
motivational speaker, author andvoice over talent. Rufus has
authored two books. The firstlife lessons from his Mati
chronicles the life of hismother, a single mom of five and
educator in the Deep South. Heco authored his second book,
(05:24):
leave a mark with his daughter,Connie Johnson. Mr. Stephens
life is defined by hisunrelenting passion for
encouraging others. Hispresentation goal is to always
leave audiences better off thanwhen they came. So I would like
to welcome Connie Johnson andRufus Stevens to somewhere in
(05:48):
the middle with Michele Barard.Connie, Rufus. Thank you so much
for coming here. As well, I'mreally excited. You guys are a
special team. And I want to getinto all of that and how you all
started working on this projecttogether. But if you're familiar
with the show, you know, I liketo start with two questions. So
(06:12):
you have to decide who goesfirst with answering these tiny
Rufus. Who are you? And how didyou become who you are today?
Rufus Stephens (06:23):
I yield to my daughter.
Connie Johnson (06:26):
Well, collectively, we are daddy
daughter books. And the way thatwe got to daddy daughter books
was during the pandemic, we weretalking. My father is a public
speaker. And I was kind of hisRoad Dog along the way. And so
he was getting ready to write aspeech entitled leave a mark.
(06:50):
And we talked through it andthen I pitched like, hey, this
should be a book. And he waslike, Yes, this should be a book
and we should do it together.And I thought no, you should do
it and I should be yourcheerleader. But eventually we
wrote it together and when wedecided what will we will be the
(07:13):
company that supports leave amark. We had to go to daddy
daughter because we are a daddydaughter team. But growing up my
dad would take my sister and Ion little dates individually and
sometimes together that we calldaddy daughter dates. And so we
thought what else could it beBut daddy daughter books. So
(07:34):
that is who we are. That's kindof how we got here.
Michele A. Barard (07:37):
I think that's beautiful. I think that's
really beautiful. So your closeknit team. What is leaving mark?
First of all, what is leavingMark about?
Rufus Stephens (07:49):
it, leave a mark it first I was thinking about
living intentionally and justdon't hang around here. And you
know, some carve your name on atree Rufus was here, I mean,
being intentional with a bunchof life. And I heard a quote by
Van Jones that I thought wasabsolutely wonderful. He said,
(08:11):
We die twice, we die when ourbody dies. And we died the last
time people stopped calling RNA.And I said, Oh my God, that's
that's. So that's what you starttalking about libre mark, you
know, what did the songwritersaid, let's give them something
to talk about. And you know, sowe talked about that. And when
(08:35):
it comes to I was thinking justmore more generally and then
Connie and I kind of kind offocus and kind of pulled in and
focused on the idea of educationand leaving a mark on children.
And what it does what the bookdoes, it gives you an example of
seven marks that you can leaveon children that will serve them
(08:59):
well for Life. There's an eightmark that's the one you want to
avoid. And so that that's whatdrives the book it is meant it's
a short book is meant to becompute completely so consumed.
It is meant to be able to touchwhole field and apply. And, and
it's it seems to be landing verynicely with educators.
Michele A. Barard (09:24):
So this isn't a book for parents. This is a
book for educators in particular
Unknown (09:28):
as well as the influences of young people.
Yeah, one of the person whowrote the foreword came back
after she read it and she said,listen, as a parent. You're
talking to me and she's aneducator. I can see where
clearly the educator will usethis but any influencer of young
people will find this veryuseful.
(09:50):
I like to say that goodeducators are like good parents.
They're very much similar. Theywant to leave many of the marks
that we read France in our bookson their children, whether
you're a parent or an educator,and they're kind of one in the
same. So it is definitely an odeto educators, somewhat of a
(10:11):
tribute to all that we do as Iam an educator, although we do
as educators, but it isdefinitely easily applicable to
parents as
Michele A. Barard (10:22):
well. So give me some examples, if you don't
mind, county, some ways thateducators and parenting overlap
Unknown (10:34):
because parents care about their kids and I, I'm an
educator, but I started off as aschool teacher. And now I'm a
school counselor, this is my10th school year as a school
counselor. And so I obviouslygot some heart, I'm a caring
person, I'm the, I'm the softparent of the two, like, my kids
(10:55):
know that if they want to, yes,they should probably start with
me. I'm that person. So I thinkparents are generally caring and
supportive. And they're yourbiggest champions. One of my
favorite quotes is by RitaPearson, and educators, well,
who says every child needs achampion. And I, I feel like
(11:16):
parents are those are the firstchampions that a child has or
should be. But on the flip sideof that, we don't just love
them, love them, love them andjust have no bounds. I think
there's accountability, there'sdiscipline and one thing that
educators know and I've spentmost of my educational career in
elementary school, so we havelots of parameters and
(11:38):
structures and routines. Andsometimes to those who don't
live in the education world, itmay seem a little strange that
kids thrive on thataccountability, that
empowerment, that encouragement,that routine that helps them to
know that I belong here, I canmake it I can do those things.
So I feel like parenting is bothand you know, we love them, but
(12:03):
we're gonna hold youaccountable. And education is
the same way good teachers lovetheir students, their students
know that they love them, andtheir students are willing to do
for them, because they know thatthey love them. And those
teachers are holding those kidsaccountable to do what needs to
be done. So they kind of go handin hand.
Michele A. Barard (12:21):
Well, and you know, Rufus, I have to ask you
now some question about yourparenting style, because
clearly, you have a verydistinct parenting style. I know
my dad never had daddy daughterdates with my sister. And I, you
know, I have kids, I've beenmarried. And so I know that men
bring something unique, I think,to parenting, where what I felt
(12:48):
was that my kid's fatherencouraged a little bit more of
the adventurous side of them tocome out, you know, kind of push
out of the comfort zone a littlebit side, while still being
within boundaries of safety andfeeling safe and protected.
(13:09):
Whereas I've tended to be morelike, Oh, be careful. You know,
don't don't fall or break yourarm, you know that. Um, what do
you think that you brought toyour parenting experience? You
know, you as a man, as you know,brought to your parenting
experience that helped to rearthis beautiful daughter, two
(13:31):
beautiful daughters that you nowpartner with one of them on
doing books?
Unknown (13:36):
Well, yeah, I think that I was singularly focused on
being a good parents because I agood father, because I didn't
have one I had, you know, I wasraised by a single mom, my dad
was around, and I knew him and Igrew to love him. But but he had
no impact on my life at all.And, and so when I had children
(14:01):
I met, I meant to love them, I'mgoing to let them know that they
will love them and to let themknow that there were limits. And
without even realizing, and letthem know that there's great
power in laughter. It can itcan, it can solve it can lift a
(14:21):
lot of situations. And they havejust we laugh about so much we
sometimes we post this and Iwere talking about how we used
to travel in this little blueand brown border across the
country and laugh until we criedin the car, you know, and so
that that was something God hasgiven me a little little
(14:42):
laughter geniune little twistedgene and, and they've gotten
some of that, but I'm that'scounty talked about champion.
I'm their champion. I'm the onethere and their late mother sat
on the bleachers and listen tothem, saying the first oldest
sister was four years old.Although she was saying 16 songs
for the Christmas concert, Fastforward four years, and we're on
(15:06):
the same bleachers with the samedead bottoms, listen to the 16
songs that Connie now is sayingthe same 16 songs. And I'm
checking them all but but wewere committed to parenthood.
And and when I look at themraising their children, I just
smiled. I was just so you knowthat Apple didn't fall far they
are excellent moms. And youknow, and it shows in their
(15:27):
kids. So I'd like to believethat I brought structure I
brought love There was never indoubt. And also I'm I love
words. And so I think they gotespecially Connie, her sisters
is no slack. But Connie is likeme, she she's a wordsmith. And
she loves, I used to tell allthe time words are efficient.
(15:50):
And so So choose them so thatyou don't have to tell us a
whole lot of them say what yougot to say. And so I went a long
way to say a short thing foryou. But that's it.
Michele A. Barard (15:59):
Well, I think that's a wonderful thing that
you said. And I think it'sreally interesting. This, you
said that your father didn'timpact your life, but his lack
of impact actually impacted yougreatly because it showed you
what you didn't want to be.
Unknown (16:16):
But you know what, you nailed it. You really did.
Because there are five of us,there are four boys and one girl
and all four of the boys aregood dads. And I used to tell
kinda, and all of those, infact, I still tell them I'm a
good dad, because I'm meant tobe. Yeah, I didn't if you call
me a good father difference, andyour dad is something that was
well, I meant to be. Thank youfor the success. And so your
(16:39):
points, right? So it wassomething that I never wanted to
be the pain and everything elseI went through about by his
absence or his neglect in someway drove us you exactly right.
Michele A. Barard (16:51):
Well, Connie, how do you feel as a parent now
kind of looking at, you know,how your dad reared you guys?
And how you rear your kids? Anddo you feel like, Hey, I'm doing
this better? I'm doing? What doyou feel like you're and as an
educator, too, because you gotan advantage over? You know, the
(17:13):
rest of us, right? Because youstudied child psychology to some
extent you've studied, you know,how they learn and all of that.
How do you feel? What do youthink that you bring to
parenting that maybe isdifferent or unique, or that
enhances what your dad taughtyou and your mom taught you
about parenting?
Unknown (17:31):
I think there's so funny listening to him talk
about sitting through all of ourconcerts. And my kids are very
involved in church, as well asin school, and I'm there for all
of it. And I don't think that henecessarily, like instructed us
that you show up for yourpeople. But you need that is
(17:54):
like the drumbeat of my liferight now, I just feel that it's
so important to show up for yourkids, even to the stuff that you
don't think is really important,because they remember, they may
not remember that you came toevery single one, but they will
remember that one concert youdidn't show up for, or that one
(18:16):
time you weren't there. So Ithink that that's something he's
passed on, I didn't even reallyknow. But I think one thing
that's different. And I saw ashift in my parenting, when I
went back to school to get mymaster's degree, and counseling.
And so as a counselor is verydifferent than being a teacher
(18:37):
because teachers do lots oftalking. But counselors do lots
of listening. So usually, whenstudents come to my office, they
might be getting sent to myoffice because they've, they're
having an outburst. They madesome poor choices in the
classroom, whatever the case maybe. But I'm quick to tell
teachers like do you want themto be in trouble because they're
(18:58):
in the wrong office. But if youwant someone to help them think
through their choices, if youwant someone to talk, to listen
to them to figure out whythey're behaving in the way that
they're behaving in yourclassroom, I'm the person. And
so that has transferred overinto the way that I parents, I
(19:19):
don't necessarily parent the waythat the textbook way that we
were taught to listen, theactive listener of like, so what
I hear you saying is, but it isreflected in my response to you.
And one of the chapters actuallyis on listening, and it's based
upon the story in there is basedupon my now almost 19 year old
(19:42):
and his critique of myparenting. And he was telling me
something about how he feltabout something and I was
saying, Okay, well, that's thankyou for sharing, basically, and
he said, well, it doesn't reallymatter how I feel about it
because you're going to do whatyou want. Want to do, or you're
going to, you're going to, youknow, basically, there's no
(20:04):
point in us continuing to talkabout this, because you're not
listening to me, is what Iheard. And it really stopped me
in my tracks, because I like mydad, I think I'm a pretty good
parent, I try really hard to bea good parent. And so he was
gonna call me on that, like,when I'm a parent, there's some
stuff I'm gonna do differentlythan how you've done it, and
you're not really listening tome. And so I think I really am
(20:28):
intentional about listening tomy kids, and getting to know
them as individuals, because oneof them is very similar to my
personality. And so I get themmore easily. And one is very
different, very much like myhusband, and her dad. But that
doesn't make them any less ofwho they are. And so I think
(20:50):
what parenting has taught me andreally my time learning about
counseling is that it'simperative that you listen, and
that everybody is different. Andyou need to know what makes them
tick. Because what worksanybody, any parent who has more
than one child will tell youthat what makes one tick, but
(21:10):
no, it made the other one tick.And so just getting to know my
kids individually, and listeningto their, their feelings, I
still get the final say, but Ihear what you're saying. And
what you're saying does have theability to influence the choices
and decisions I make. So that'sprobably something I've taken.
Michele A. Barard (21:30):
So how do you guys feel that, that knowledge
and experience that you got, andwhat you put into the book, can
help educators do their jobsbetter and, and when I say
educators, here I am referringmainly to teachers, because
teachers, in fact, I was justtalking with my brother in law
earlier today saying, teachershave a hard road to hoe. Um, and
(21:57):
I'm, I've been a parent of kidsin school where I've been like,
I do not like this teachingthing. I don't I don't care for
the way the public schools arestructured in particular, and
the things that go on there. Andso, and I felt that the teachers
were Madona, say, unable toreally focus on the
(22:21):
individuality of the kids, evenin schools where they claim
that's what they do, becausethere's so much other stuff,
right? That's happening, thebureaucratic stuff, the, you
know, all kinds of other thingsgoing on? How can your book help
teachers in particular, in thatpart of the education system,
(22:42):
really do their jobs a littlebit? Better, but not I mean,
because we're dealing withteacher burnout, I have a kid
who wanted to be a teacher, shewas coming out during the
pandemic, and was like, This isnot for me, you know what I
mean? It was just too, it wastoo much. How can your book do
you think your book has theability to help people in that
way? And if so, how?
Rufus Stephens (23:02):
I yield to you.
Unknown (23:08):
I would say, Absolutely. And really, when we
were writing this book, I had aspecific colleague of mine who
has since retired. In my mind, Ithought if she reads this book,
it cannot be a bunch of fluff.It cannot be just love the kids.
But it needs to be somethingthat those teachers who have
(23:28):
been through the bureaucracy whohave been through administration
changes. And this is the newinitiative with this person, and
oh, that initiative is gone, andtwo years, and now we're on to
something else. And all of thethings that burn teachers out
that this is the to the bookthat says we see you, and we
(23:49):
know that what you're doing isvaluable, it's meaningful, it's
purposeful. And the stuff thatyou think is one more thing to
do is really the foundation andhere's reminding you that you
can do it. And here are somequick, easy ways that you can do
it. Here's some attainable waysthat you can do it. And so I
(24:10):
just I kept having thatcolleague in my mind, I was
like, if she ever reads this,she cannot be feeling like this
is did not do a service does shereally teach? And I also felt
like anybody who's in thetrenches, I never wanted them to
read the book and go like she'sin la la land. She's never she's
not she doesn't know what it'slike. So I do think that it has
(24:33):
the ability to breathe life intothose of us who have experienced
some tiredness or are in aseason of exhaustion or
overwhelm. I know that one ofthe districts that I'm familiar
with, they just got two brandnew curriculums last school
year. So teachers were teacherswho were veteran teachers were
(24:54):
telling me I feel like a noviceteacher because I don't know the
like I'm learning the curriculumwith kids. It's, and we have to
do it with fidelity. And theywere just feeling that
overwhelmed. And well, worryingabout how Jimmy feels today kind
of is on the back burner if I'mheld to these test scores and
held to the standards, and so itis an encouragement, but at the
(25:15):
same time it gives bite sizedattainable ways for them to
actually do those things. Andyou don't Yes, we we do think in
the mark of visibility, we talkabout like, yes, it is important
to see every student kind oflike what I said, raising my
kids, it is important to seeeach kid and know how each kid
(25:35):
is doing. But you don't have todo a, you know, check in every
single day with all 22 or 25 or30 of your students. Yes, you
know, my state 22 is the cut offfor fourth grade and below and
then you know, whatever with thebig kids, but it's giving them
(25:58):
attainable ways to check in withJohnny today check in with Marco
tomorrow, check in with Sallythe next day, and really using
that time so that they're notburnout, but that their students
see them and they see theirstudents. So absolutely, I
believe it has the ability to
Michele A. Barard (26:15):
do that. So Rufus, you envision this article
at bursts. Connie Sinai is morewhat we're going to be your
three key talking points in theoriginal article in the original
speech. Well,
Unknown (26:35):
I think the was about empowerment. It was about and
Connie and I talked it from thevery beginning. But if you if
you do that there are seven inthere, but probably the three
drivers, if you will, would haveto be visibility, empowerment.
And I don't know Connie and Iwill probably be back and forth
(27:00):
on this. It's either carrying orbelonging. Though, the whole,
the foundation that the booksits on, in kinda kind of opened
my eyes to this is allrelationships. It's all about
relationships, and how you parkthese relationships, it's so did
you get the best result fromyour, from your interface with
(27:23):
the with the kids. And so Conniesays, I like the choice bite
sized pieces, it's not a thisheavy, big thing. And 916 pages
that good luck, you know, it's167 pages. And it's meant for
you to get in there are activitypages at the end of each chapter
(27:45):
and that kind of thing. So thosewould be the three, I think that
would be big drivers. Now thereare others in there that that
are very impactful. The one thatI the first one you come on is
called painful marks. And thatone's very, very, I wrote that
because it's be I can relate tothat, because I got some of
(28:05):
those coming through. And then Isaw throughout the the education
system, that a lot of otherpeople were getting those marks
and it didn't have to be. Infact, a lot of the teachers were
applying those marks.Inadvertently, they didn't
realize they were doing but thekids were no less damage because
(28:27):
of it. So I got the three orfour items.
Michele A. Barard (28:33):
What's an example of a painful mark?
Unknown (28:36):
Well, let me give you, I opened the chapter with me
being an eighth grade. And I wasan algebra class, ninth grade,
ninth grade algebra class. And Iwill refrain from saying the
teacher's name because it'sstill fresh in my mind. I had
(28:58):
scored badly on a test, she waspassing out the papers class of
20, about 30 kids. And she'scalled out to names and give the
ticket and then she saidStevens, and she was giving me
my paper, I got a d minus. Shesaid I'm giving you a d minus I
wanted to give you an F and Isaid well, you know, thank you
very much, you know, and here Iam a senior citizens still
(29:23):
talking about that mark. Andthat it need not have been you
know, she would have done theworld of fever budgets, keeping
her mouth shut, give him a dminus and let me go home and
deal with that. Because she hadnothing positive to say. The
other thing that I see inclasses and I saw this beyond
her and many, many teachers,they have very smart children in
(29:46):
the class. So let's say there's25 kids in the class you got
three stars, I mean, they blowthe roof off the end
trigonometry, whatever it isname the subject, they just
handle it. They set the curb andyou know every time teach you so
cool Ashlynn and she naturallyturns to them for the answer.
Then you have what I call atweeners. And the people that
(30:09):
are between the, the D, and theA, and those they have the
answer to, but they never getthe answer. Because she's gone
to Jason and Erica, who alwaysnails it. And I call that a
classroom caste system, thatdoesn't work well. And kids
suffer from it. The kids getthat that's a bad mark. And then
(30:31):
the final one in that particularone is about a guy named Shannon
from a Hawkins bu where we liveseven things that that he said
people said about him, he is nowa Doctor of Education, and doing
very well. He lived beyond hishis negative prophecies. And
that's what I was talking aboutpainful marks you can leave on
(30:53):
kids if you aren't careful. Andthen need not be
Michele A. Barard (30:56):
when it's interesting that you mentioned
algebra, because I was startingto wonder, is it only algebra
teachers who do this? I justthink we remember my Algebra
teacher. And I was doing greatin math until this particular
teacher, you know, I don't knowif it's just something about
(31:19):
algebra, maybe algebra makesteachers angry sometimes. But
there's also research related towhat you've been talking about,
for example, the teacher turningto certain students who always
quote unquote, have the answers,and others not getting a chance
(31:39):
to answer questions. Or assumingthat the English class the girls
will know the answer, becausegirls tend to be more verbal
than boys and things of thatnature, at least when they're
younger. Did you all rely on anyof that research? Or aren't
pulling any of that research?Are we relying primarily on your
(32:00):
experiences as a teacher and asa student? And as parents?
Unknown (32:04):
That was my case? It was just anecdotal. I saw it,
you know. I didn't need toresearch. I saw it in so many
classrooms.
Michele A. Barard (32:18):
Well, and Connie, I know you're familiar
probably with some of theresearch I'm mentioning that you
know about what they call itinherent bias, I think in
education,
Unknown (32:30):
inherent bias and the self fulfilling prophecies that
children ran ahead of, as he wassaying, I was like, yes, self
fulfilling prophecy. We'realways talking about, you get to
speak, you can speak that onsomebody's life or show that
into them and does not okay. Soyeah, that makes it so
Michele A. Barard (32:51):
difficult for children because they don't have
a way to process from a moredispassionate position. You
know, they just kind of take onboard, whatever it is that we're
saying.
Unknown (33:02):
Your county has a, I can't remember all of the
county. I know you do. What's,what's the quote that your
teachers get to edit? Yeah, it'sa great well, you remember,
we are the one of the few, Iwill say we get the opportunity
(33:25):
to edit someone else's lifestory. And we can just change
the trajectory. Most of us werewriting our own story, and my
father has a quote. So make it apage turner, you know, live your
life intentionally and onpurpose. But as educators, we
get the opportunity to editsomeone else's life story.
Michele A. Barard (33:45):
That's beautiful. That's really a
beautiful way to think abouteducation.
Unknown (33:48):
Yeah. It's great. I mean, it's just kind of it is
real close to what I saw,because we come from a family of
educators. My mother was aseries educator and back I, my,
my first book was about her andlife lesson with Miss Mattie.
And, and I met She was educatedas a first order and I met she
(34:11):
impacted people's lives and, youknow, teachers, I'm listening to
both of you talk. If they aren'tcareful, correct me if I'm
wrong, they get so burnout. Theydon't they forgotten how
impactful they can be. I'm busytrying to try to teach to the
test. I'm trying to do this andthen the other the other
(34:32):
bureaucratic stuff and then I'mhearing rumblings about
something else going on. And,and you forget your greatness.
Did you get the ability toimpact? I think one of the
quotes in the book is thisteaches effect. All other
professions. Everybody whobecame anything had to pass
(34:53):
through teacher
Michele A. Barard (34:55):
and that's huge. Well, I'm really
interested add in one more thingbefore we start wrapping this
up, and that is, how do you guysactually work together as a
team? I mean, what does thatlook like? Kenny?
Unknown (35:17):
I would say lots of conversations, we have long
conversations. He's in Florida,I'm in Texas. And so we are not
usually in the same room whileworking together. But we, we
definitely are just incommunication as just the normal
course of things. He's, he's mydad's on, contact him
(35:39):
communicating with him. But thenwe're always talking about how
we can get leave a mark outthere, what we can do
differently, how we can supportit. He hears all of my stories
of education, and he's more ofour marketer, if you will. And
(36:01):
so we work together and justkind of in our own skills and
our own strengths, just workingtogether, what needs to be done
for this, what's coming up next,who's going to take the lead on
that? Anytime we have a podcastlike this, or interviews, we
always had to put our headstogether before we get out
(36:22):
there. So usually a lot ofconversations on the phone and
emails and stuff like that.
And that's not a typical, wehave been talking ever since she
arrived in the world. And sothat that's just, and then we're
now but but our conversationsmore pointed, we don't talk
every day, but when we do, it'sgood for hour and a half to two
(36:44):
hours. But when when it comes tothe book was The wonderful thing
about I think working with yourdaughter, when you got a great
relationship, there's no oneupsmanship I want her to win. i
Everything whatever the I wanther to win, you know, and I brag
about her and that kind ofthing. She brags about me. So we
(37:08):
sit down, we're veryintentional. We talk about how
do we get the biggest bang forthe buck out of this book, this
this is clearly a good goodbook. And at the risk of
sounding self absorbed, we'vedone good. And and I think that
we have we've introduced thisbook to everybody from Columbia
(37:29):
University to AlabamaUniversity. And because we think
we have something that'ssubstantive and useful,
practical, how many books on theshelf, never read it, but you
love buying it. And that was theend of the interface. It goes on
the shelf and it gets dusted.Reset your frequently. So I
(37:51):
interface is good. We normallycome away winning, we come away
with results. You know, Iremember when Connie was saying
she Wow, that I'm not sure aboutthis book. I'm running all over
the place. So what I did was Iwrote an index of topics. And I
remember when she got it, shebounced back. She said this
(38:12):
sounds like momentum. And wenever looked back. So yeah, the
interface is something we bothlook forward to. And we always
win when we come out.
Michele A. Barard (38:24):
That's beautiful. That's wonderful.
Well, Connie, Rufus, how canpeople get your book number one,
and how can they connect withyou?
Unknown (38:35):
The book is on on Amazon, leave a mark. And the
easiest way is that when you putleave a mark put Connie Johnson
it'll come up. There's a pictureof you. Yeah. It's you can also
reach each one of us. You canreach me at Rufus D
(38:56):
stevens@gmail.com. And Conniekind of given me because I
forget something.
Connie Johnson (39:05):
It's ConnieJohnsonAuthor at also
@gmail.com.
Michele A. Barard (39:10):
Are you on social media?
Unknown (39:13):
We live we are not as Daddy daughter books.
Yeah, we are individuals I am asa as a professional speaker. And
we do some things on Instagram.We're forming that solid social
media platform as we speak so
Michele A. Barard (39:31):
awesome. So soon, guys, you'll be able to
connect with Kanye rubas onsocial media, particularly
Instagram. So just keep youreyes open for that. You can
probably email him and get thatcontact information
Unknown (39:43):
and go right go right to Amazon for the book. Yeah,
Michele A. Barard (39:49):
leave a mark you're going to put in Connie
Johnson to find it right. leavea mark. Connie Johnson put that
in the search bar at Amazon.Yep. Awesome. Connie Rufus.
Thank you. so much for being onsomewhere in the middle. It's
been an absolute joy.
Unknown (40:04):
Thank you so much. Appreciate it, Michelle.
Michele A. Barard (40:07):
So that's our show this month guys. You can
reach me online at Michelebarard.com. You can also find me
on Facebook, Instagram andTiktok as urban book editor.
Feel free to send in some topicsyou'd like us to cover on the
show. Send me a note. Make sureyou tune into the show on
September 15 When my guests willbe linked in strategist, Daniel
(40:31):
out. You can find this once amonth on Fridays 5pm Pacific 6pm
Mountain 7pm Central 8pm.Eastern at the summary. Let's
continue the conversation. Youguys be good. Stay mind to some
blessings.
Happy Friday, everyone. Welcome to somewhere
in the show. I'm your host,Michele Barard Founder and CEO,
Michele Ebert. And I'm reallyhappy to share this hour with
you for week seven, all thoseplaces where spirit insights and
the joys and challenges thatmean you guys been listening for
a while so you know that I liketo start by thanking Miss
(02:29):
Beverly black and tribe familychannel for helping me create
the space for us. Track down thechannel is sort of thought
provoking shows that explorelife, spirit, business and
culture, including the woman aswell hosted by Miss Beverly
black herself. Somewhere in themiddle was born on Trump image.
And though we have grown ontoour own platform, we are ever
(02:50):
grateful and loyal to our roots.To paraphrase an African
proverb, we are here onlybecause we stand on the
shoulders of those who camebefore us. I want to say thank
you to my guests on the July 21show, massage and Wellness
Business Consultant, Gail wood,you can connect with Gail on
social media and at her website,www dot elevate with gail.com
(03:14):
and that's Gail spelled G A E L.If you missed that show, make
sure you listen to the replay.You can find that complete show
archives including the July 21show at the summer in the middle
podcast.com. I also want toshout out your shortage of the
geniuses common movement, whichencourages all of us to embrace
our energies and share it withthe world. You guys know I think
(03:36):
this is a really importantmessage. We should share it with
the kids but also, we adultsneed to be reminded sometimes
that the world needs our genius.Learn more about the geniuses
common movement at WWW dotgenius is coming.com Now, this
month's guests inspire educatorsand parents to help children
(03:57):
become their best selves. ConnieJohnson is a graduate of
Tuskegee University with a BS inelementary education. Later, her
heart required that she equippedherself with new ways to help
her students work throughtraumas and become their
greatest sense. She then went onto earn her master's in
education from the University ofWest Alabama. Connie has worked
(04:20):
in the field of education for 17years, and she is in her eighth
year as an elementary schoolcounselor. Her prime objective
is to impact our students forgreatness. In 2022. She co
authored with her father, RufusStevens, and exceptional book
entitled leave a mark. Amazonreleased the book as its number
(04:41):
one new release in the educationand teacher category. Rufus
Stevens is a native of Savannah,Georgia. He graduated from
Savannah State University andpursued a graduate degree at the
University of Florida. He is aformer business owner, corporate
executive, and an ER Daneminister. In 2015, he formed a
(05:03):
speaking company called raisingthe roof communications. He's a
motivational speaker, author andvoice over talent. Rufus has
authored two books. The firstlife lessons from his Mati
chronicles the life of hismother, a single mom of five and
educator in the Deep South. Heco authored his second book,
(05:24):
leave a mark with his daughter,Connie Johnson. Mr. Stephens
life is defined by hisunrelenting passion for
encouraging others. Hispresentation goal is to always
leave audiences better off thanwhen they came. So I would like
to welcome Connie Johnson andRufus Stevens to somewhere in
(05:48):
the middle with Michele Barard.Connie, Rufus. Thank you so much
for coming here. As well, I'mreally excited. You guys are a
special team. And I want to getinto all of that and how you all
started working on this projecttogether. But if you're familiar
with the show, you know, I liketo start with two questions. So
(06:12):
you have to decide who goesfirst with answering these tiny
Rufus. Who are you? And how didyou become who you are today?
Rufus Stephens (06:23):
I yield to my daughter.
Connie Johnson (06:26):
Well, collectively, we are daddy
daughter books. And the way thatwe got to daddy daughter books
was during the pandemic, we weretalking. My father is a public
speaker. And I was kind of hisRoad Dog along the way. And so
he was getting ready to write aspeech entitled leave a mark.
(06:50):
And we talked through it andthen I pitched like, hey, this
should be a book. And he waslike, Yes, this should be a book
and we should do it together.And I thought no, you should do
it and I should be yourcheerleader. But eventually we
wrote it together and when wedecided what will we will be the
(07:13):
company that supports leave amark. We had to go to daddy
daughter because we are a daddydaughter team. But growing up my
dad would take my sister and Ion little dates individually and
sometimes together that we calldaddy daughter dates. And so we
thought what else could it beBut daddy daughter books. So
(07:34):
that is who we are. That's kindof how we got here.
Michele A. Barard (07:37):
I think that's beautiful. I think that's
really beautiful. So your closeknit team. What is leaving mark?
First of all, what is leavingMark about?
Rufus Stephens (07:49):
it, leave a mark it first I was thinking about
living intentionally and justdon't hang around here. And you
know, some carve your name on atree Rufus was here, I mean,
being intentional with a bunchof life. And I heard a quote by
Van Jones that I thought wasabsolutely wonderful. He said,
(08:11):
We die twice, we die when ourbody dies. And we died the last
time people stopped calling RNA.And I said, Oh my God, that's
that's. So that's what you starttalking about libre mark, you
know, what did the songwritersaid, let's give them something
to talk about. And you know, sowe talked about that. And when
(08:35):
it comes to I was thinking justmore more generally and then
Connie and I kind of kind offocus and kind of pulled in and
focused on the idea of educationand leaving a mark on children.
And what it does what the bookdoes, it gives you an example of
seven marks that you can leaveon children that will serve them
(08:59):
well for Life. There's an eightmark that's the one you want to
avoid. And so that that's whatdrives the book it is meant it's
a short book is meant to becompute completely so consumed.
It is meant to be able to touchwhole field and apply. And, and
it's it seems to be landing verynicely with educators.
Michele A. Barard (09:24):
So this isn't a book for parents. This is a
book for educators in particular
Unknown (09:28):
as well as the influences of young people.
Yeah, one of the person whowrote the foreword came back
after she read it and she said,listen, as a parent. You're
talking to me and she's aneducator. I can see where
clearly the educator will usethis but any influencer of young
people will find this veryuseful.
(09:50):
I like to say that goodeducators are like good parents.
They're very much similar. Theywant to leave many of the marks
that we read France in our bookson their children, whether
you're a parent or an educator,and they're kind of one in the
same. So it is definitely an odeto educators, somewhat of a
(10:11):
tribute to all that we do as Iam an educator, although we do
as educators, but it isdefinitely easily applicable to
parents as
Michele A. Barard (10:22):
well. So give me some examples, if you don't
mind, county, some ways thateducators and parenting overlap
Unknown (10:34):
because parents care about their kids and I, I'm an
educator, but I started off as aschool teacher. And now I'm a
school counselor, this is my10th school year as a school
counselor. And so I obviouslygot some heart, I'm a caring
person, I'm the, I'm the softparent of the two, like, my kids
(10:55):
know that if they want to, yes,they should probably start with
me. I'm that person. So I thinkparents are generally caring and
supportive. And they're yourbiggest champions. One of my
favorite quotes is by RitaPearson, and educators, well,
who says every child needs achampion. And I, I feel like
(11:16):
parents are those are the firstchampions that a child has or
should be. But on the flip sideof that, we don't just love
them, love them, love them andjust have no bounds. I think
there's accountability, there'sdiscipline and one thing that
educators know and I've spentmost of my educational career in
elementary school, so we havelots of parameters and
(11:38):
structures and routines. Andsometimes to those who don't
live in the education world, itmay seem a little strange that
kids thrive on thataccountability, that
empowerment, that encouragement,that routine that helps them to
know that I belong here, I canmake it I can do those things.
So I feel like parenting is bothand you know, we love them, but
(12:03):
we're gonna hold youaccountable. And education is
the same way good teachers lovetheir students, their students
know that they love them, andtheir students are willing to do
for them, because they know thatthey love them. And those
teachers are holding those kidsaccountable to do what needs to
be done. So they kind of go handin hand.
Michele A. Barard (12:21):
Well, and you know, Rufus, I have to ask you
now some question about yourparenting style, because
clearly, you have a verydistinct parenting style. I know
my dad never had daddy daughterdates with my sister. And I, you
know, I have kids, I've beenmarried. And so I know that men
bring something unique, I think,to parenting, where what I felt
(12:48):
was that my kid's fatherencouraged a little bit more of
the adventurous side of them tocome out, you know, kind of push
out of the comfort zone a littlebit side, while still being
within boundaries of safety andfeeling safe and protected.
(13:09):
Whereas I've tended to be morelike, Oh, be careful. You know,
don't don't fall or break yourarm, you know that. Um, what do
you think that you brought toyour parenting experience? You
know, you as a man, as you know,brought to your parenting
experience that helped to rearthis beautiful daughter, two
(13:31):
beautiful daughters that you nowpartner with one of them on
doing books?
Unknown (13:36):
Well, yeah, I think that I was singularly focused on
being a good parents because I agood father, because I didn't
have one I had, you know, I wasraised by a single mom, my dad
was around, and I knew him and Igrew to love him. But but he had
no impact on my life at all.And, and so when I had children
(14:01):
I met, I meant to love them, I'mgoing to let them know that they
will love them and to let themknow that there were limits. And
without even realizing, and letthem know that there's great
power in laughter. It can itcan, it can solve it can lift a
(14:21):
lot of situations. And they havejust we laugh about so much we
sometimes we post this and Iwere talking about how we used
to travel in this little blueand brown border across the
country and laugh until we criedin the car, you know, and so
that that was something God hasgiven me a little little
(14:42):
laughter geniune little twistedgene and, and they've gotten
some of that, but I'm that'scounty talked about champion.
I'm their champion. I'm the onethere and their late mother sat
on the bleachers and listen tothem, saying the first oldest
sister was four years old.Although she was saying 16 songs
for the Christmas concert, Fastforward four years, and we're on
(15:06):
the same bleachers with the samedead bottoms, listen to the 16
songs that Connie now is sayingthe same 16 songs. And I'm
checking them all but but wewere committed to parenthood.
And and when I look at themraising their children, I just
smiled. I was just so you knowthat Apple didn't fall far they
are excellent moms. And youknow, and it shows in their
(15:27):
kids. So I'd like to believethat I brought structure I
brought love There was never indoubt. And also I'm I love
words. And so I think they gotespecially Connie, her sisters
is no slack. But Connie is likeme, she she's a wordsmith. And
she loves, I used to tell allthe time words are efficient.
(15:50):
And so So choose them so thatyou don't have to tell us a
whole lot of them say what yougot to say. And so I went a long
way to say a short thing foryou. But that's it.
Michele A. Barard (15:59):
Well, I think that's a wonderful thing that
you said. And I think it'sreally interesting. This, you
said that your father didn'timpact your life, but his lack
of impact actually impacted yougreatly because it showed you
what you didn't want to be.
Unknown (16:16):
But you know what, you nailed it. You really did.
Because there are five of us,there are four boys and one girl
and all four of the boys aregood dads. And I used to tell
kinda, and all of those, infact, I still tell them I'm a
good dad, because I'm meant tobe. Yeah, I didn't if you call
me a good father difference, andyour dad is something that was
well, I meant to be. Thank youfor the success. And so your
(16:39):
points, right? So it wassomething that I never wanted to
be the pain and everything elseI went through about by his
absence or his neglect in someway drove us you exactly right.
Michele A. Barard (16:51):
Well, Connie, how do you feel as a parent now
kind of looking at, you know,how your dad reared you guys?
And how you rear your kids? Anddo you feel like, Hey, I'm doing
this better? I'm doing? What doyou feel like you're and as an
educator, too, because you gotan advantage over? You know, the
(17:13):
rest of us, right? Because youstudied child psychology to some
extent you've studied, you know,how they learn and all of that.
How do you feel? What do youthink that you bring to
parenting that maybe isdifferent or unique, or that
enhances what your dad taughtyou and your mom taught you
about parenting?
Unknown (17:31):
I think there's so funny listening to him talk
about sitting through all of ourconcerts. And my kids are very
involved in church, as well asin school, and I'm there for all
of it. And I don't think that henecessarily, like instructed us
that you show up for yourpeople. But you need that is
(17:54):
like the drumbeat of my liferight now, I just feel that it's
so important to show up for yourkids, even to the stuff that you
don't think is really important,because they remember, they may
not remember that you came toevery single one, but they will
remember that one concert youdidn't show up for, or that one
(18:16):
time you weren't there. So Ithink that that's something he's
passed on, I didn't even reallyknow. But I think one thing
that's different. And I saw ashift in my parenting, when I
went back to school to get mymaster's degree, and counseling.
And so as a counselor is verydifferent than being a teacher
(18:37):
because teachers do lots oftalking. But counselors do lots
of listening. So usually, whenstudents come to my office, they
might be getting sent to myoffice because they've, they're
having an outburst. They madesome poor choices in the
classroom, whatever the case maybe. But I'm quick to tell
teachers like do you want themto be in trouble because they're
(18:58):
in the wrong office. But if youwant someone to help them think
through their choices, if youwant someone to talk, to listen
to them to figure out whythey're behaving in the way that
they're behaving in yourclassroom, I'm the person. And
so that has transferred overinto the way that I parents, I
(19:19):
don't necessarily parent the waythat the textbook way that we
were taught to listen, theactive listener of like, so what
I hear you saying is, but it isreflected in my response to you.
And one of the chapters actuallyis on listening, and it's based
upon the story in there is basedupon my now almost 19 year old
(19:42):
and his critique of myparenting. And he was telling me
something about how he feltabout something and I was
saying, Okay, well, that's thankyou for sharing, basically, and
he said, well, it doesn't reallymatter how I feel about it
because you're going to do whatyou want. Want to do, or you're
going to, you're going to, youknow, basically, there's no
(20:04):
point in us continuing to talkabout this, because you're not
listening to me, is what Iheard. And it really stopped me
in my tracks, because I like mydad, I think I'm a pretty good
parent, I try really hard to bea good parent. And so he was
gonna call me on that, like,when I'm a parent, there's some
stuff I'm gonna do differentlythan how you've done it, and
you're not really listening tome. And so I think I really am
(20:28):
intentional about listening tomy kids, and getting to know
them as individuals, because oneof them is very similar to my
personality. And so I get themmore easily. And one is very
different, very much like myhusband, and her dad. But that
doesn't make them any less ofwho they are. And so I think
(20:50):
what parenting has taught me andreally my time learning about
counseling is that it'simperative that you listen, and
that everybody is different. Andyou need to know what makes them
tick. Because what worksanybody, any parent who has more
than one child will tell youthat what makes one tick, but
(21:10):
no, it made the other one tick.And so just getting to know my
kids individually, and listeningto their, their feelings, I
still get the final say, but Ihear what you're saying. And
what you're saying does have theability to influence the choices
and decisions I make. So that'sprobably something I've taken.
Michele A. Barard (21:30):
So how do you guys feel that, that knowledge
and experience that you got, andwhat you put into the book, can
help educators do their jobsbetter and, and when I say
educators, here I am referringmainly to teachers, because
teachers, in fact, I was justtalking with my brother in law
earlier today saying, teachershave a hard road to hoe. Um, and
(21:57):
I'm, I've been a parent of kidsin school where I've been like,
I do not like this teachingthing. I don't I don't care for
the way the public schools arestructured in particular, and
the things that go on there. Andso, and I felt that the teachers
were Madona, say, unable toreally focus on the
(22:21):
individuality of the kids, evenin schools where they claim
that's what they do, becausethere's so much other stuff,
right? That's happening, thebureaucratic stuff, the, you
know, all kinds of other thingsgoing on? How can your book help
teachers in particular, in thatpart of the education system,
(22:42):
really do their jobs a littlebit? Better, but not I mean,
because we're dealing withteacher burnout, I have a kid
who wanted to be a teacher, shewas coming out during the
pandemic, and was like, This isnot for me, you know what I
mean? It was just too, it wastoo much. How can your book do
you think your book has theability to help people in that
way? And if so, how?
Rufus Stephens (23:02):
I yield to you.
Unknown (23:08):
I would say, Absolutely. And really, when we
were writing this book, I had aspecific colleague of mine who
has since retired. In my mind, Ithought if she reads this book,
it cannot be a bunch of fluff.It cannot be just love the kids.
But it needs to be somethingthat those teachers who have
(23:28):
been through the bureaucracy whohave been through administration
changes. And this is the newinitiative with this person, and
oh, that initiative is gone, andtwo years, and now we're on to
something else. And all of thethings that burn teachers out
that this is the to the bookthat says we see you, and we
(23:49):
know that what you're doing isvaluable, it's meaningful, it's
purposeful. And the stuff thatyou think is one more thing to
do is really the foundation andhere's reminding you that you
can do it. And here are somequick, easy ways that you can do
it. Here's some attainable waysthat you can do it. And so I
(24:10):
just I kept having thatcolleague in my mind, I was
like, if she ever reads this,she cannot be feeling like this
is did not do a service does shereally teach? And I also felt
like anybody who's in thetrenches, I never wanted them to
read the book and go like she'sin la la land. She's never she's
not she doesn't know what it'slike. So I do think that it has
(24:33):
the ability to breathe life intothose of us who have experienced
some tiredness or are in aseason of exhaustion or
overwhelm. I know that one ofthe districts that I'm familiar
with, they just got two brandnew curriculums last school
year. So teachers were teacherswho were veteran teachers were
(24:54):
telling me I feel like a noviceteacher because I don't know the
like I'm learning the curriculumwith kids. It's, and we have to
do it with fidelity. And theywere just feeling that
overwhelmed. And well, worryingabout how Jimmy feels today kind
of is on the back burner if I'mheld to these test scores and
held to the standards, and so itis an encouragement, but at the
(25:15):
same time it gives bite sizedattainable ways for them to
actually do those things. Andyou don't Yes, we we do think in
the mark of visibility, we talkabout like, yes, it is important
to see every student kind oflike what I said, raising my
kids, it is important to seeeach kid and know how each kid
(25:35):
is doing. But you don't have todo a, you know, check in every
single day with all 22 or 25 or30 of your students. Yes, you
know, my state 22 is the cut offfor fourth grade and below and
then you know, whatever with thebig kids, but it's giving them
(25:58):
attainable ways to check in withJohnny today check in with Marco
tomorrow, check in with Sallythe next day, and really using
that time so that they're notburnout, but that their students
see them and they see theirstudents. So absolutely, I
believe it has the ability to
Michele A. Barard (26:15):
do that. So Rufus, you envision this article
at bursts. Connie Sinai is morewhat we're going to be your
three key talking points in theoriginal article in the original
speech. Well,
Unknown (26:35):
I think the was about empowerment. It was about and
Connie and I talked it from thevery beginning. But if you if
you do that there are seven inthere, but probably the three
drivers, if you will, would haveto be visibility, empowerment.
And I don't know Connie and Iwill probably be back and forth
(27:00):
on this. It's either carrying orbelonging. Though, the whole,
the foundation that the booksits on, in kinda kind of opened
my eyes to this is allrelationships. It's all about
relationships, and how you parkthese relationships, it's so did
you get the best result fromyour, from your interface with
(27:23):
the with the kids. And so Conniesays, I like the choice bite
sized pieces, it's not a thisheavy, big thing. And 916 pages
that good luck, you know, it's167 pages. And it's meant for
you to get in there are activitypages at the end of each chapter
(27:45):
and that kind of thing. So thosewould be the three, I think that
would be big drivers. Now thereare others in there that that
are very impactful. The one thatI the first one you come on is
called painful marks. And thatone's very, very, I wrote that
because it's be I can relate tothat, because I got some of
(28:05):
those coming through. And then Isaw throughout the the education
system, that a lot of otherpeople were getting those marks
and it didn't have to be. Infact, a lot of the teachers were
applying those marks.Inadvertently, they didn't
realize they were doing but thekids were no less damage because
(28:27):
of it. So I got the three orfour items.
Michele A. Barard (28:33):
What's an example of a painful mark?
Unknown (28:36):
Well, let me give you, I opened the chapter with me
being an eighth grade. And I wasan algebra class, ninth grade,
ninth grade algebra class. And Iwill refrain from saying the
teacher's name because it'sstill fresh in my mind. I had
(28:58):
scored badly on a test, she waspassing out the papers class of
20, about 30 kids. And she'scalled out to names and give the
ticket and then she saidStevens, and she was giving me
my paper, I got a d minus. Shesaid I'm giving you a d minus I
wanted to give you an F and Isaid well, you know, thank you
very much, you know, and here Iam a senior citizens still
(29:23):
talking about that mark. Andthat it need not have been you
know, she would have done theworld of fever budgets, keeping
her mouth shut, give him a dminus and let me go home and
deal with that. Because she hadnothing positive to say. The
other thing that I see inclasses and I saw this beyond
her and many, many teachers,they have very smart children in
(29:46):
the class. So let's say there's25 kids in the class you got
three stars, I mean, they blowthe roof off the end
trigonometry, whatever it isname the subject, they just
handle it. They set the curb andyou know every time teach you so
cool Ashlynn and she naturallyturns to them for the answer.
Then you have what I call atweeners. And the people that
(30:09):
are between the, the D, and theA, and those they have the
answer to, but they never getthe answer. Because she's gone
to Jason and Erica, who alwaysnails it. And I call that a
classroom caste system, thatdoesn't work well. And kids
suffer from it. The kids getthat that's a bad mark. And then
(30:31):
the final one in that particularone is about a guy named Shannon
from a Hawkins bu where we liveseven things that that he said
people said about him, he is nowa Doctor of Education, and doing
very well. He lived beyond hishis negative prophecies. And
that's what I was talking aboutpainful marks you can leave on
(30:53):
kids if you aren't careful. Andthen need not be
Michele A. Barard (30:56):
when it's interesting that you mentioned
algebra, because I was startingto wonder, is it only algebra
teachers who do this? I justthink we remember my Algebra
teacher. And I was doing greatin math until this particular
teacher, you know, I don't knowif it's just something about
(31:19):
algebra, maybe algebra makesteachers angry sometimes. But
there's also research related towhat you've been talking about,
for example, the teacher turningto certain students who always
quote unquote, have the answers,and others not getting a chance
(31:39):
to answer questions. Or assumingthat the English class the girls
will know the answer, becausegirls tend to be more verbal
than boys and things of thatnature, at least when they're
younger. Did you all rely on anyof that research? Or aren't
pulling any of that research?Are we relying primarily on your
(32:00):
experiences as a teacher and asa student? And as parents?
Unknown (32:04):
That was my case? It was just anecdotal. I saw it,
you know. I didn't need toresearch. I saw it in so many
classrooms.
Michele A. Barard (32:18):
Well, and Connie, I know you're familiar
probably with some of theresearch I'm mentioning that you
know about what they call itinherent bias, I think in
education,
Unknown (32:30):
inherent bias and the self fulfilling prophecies that
children ran ahead of, as he wassaying, I was like, yes, self
fulfilling prophecy. We'realways talking about, you get to
speak, you can speak that onsomebody's life or show that
into them and does not okay. Soyeah, that makes it so
Michele A. Barard (32:51):
difficult for children because they don't have
a way to process from a moredispassionate position. You
know, they just kind of take onboard, whatever it is that we're
saying.
Unknown (33:02):
Your county has a, I can't remember all of the
county. I know you do. What's,what's the quote that your
teachers get to edit? Yeah, it'sa great well, you remember,
we are the one of the few, Iwill say we get the opportunity
(33:25):
to edit someone else's lifestory. And we can just change
the trajectory. Most of us werewriting our own story, and my
father has a quote. So make it apage turner, you know, live your
life intentionally and onpurpose. But as educators, we
get the opportunity to editsomeone else's life story.
Michele A. Barard (33:45):
That's beautiful. That's really a
beautiful way to think abouteducation.
Unknown (33:48):
Yeah. It's great. I mean, it's just kind of it is
real close to what I saw,because we come from a family of
educators. My mother was aseries educator and back I, my,
my first book was about her andlife lesson with Miss Mattie.
And, and I met She was educatedas a first order and I met she
(34:11):
impacted people's lives and, youknow, teachers, I'm listening to
both of you talk. If they aren'tcareful, correct me if I'm
wrong, they get so burnout. Theydon't they forgotten how
impactful they can be. I'm busytrying to try to teach to the
test. I'm trying to do this andthen the other the other
(34:32):
bureaucratic stuff and then I'mhearing rumblings about
something else going on. And,and you forget your greatness.
Did you get the ability toimpact? I think one of the
quotes in the book is thisteaches effect. All other
professions. Everybody whobecame anything had to pass
(34:53):
through teacher
Michele A. Barard (34:55):
and that's huge. Well, I'm really
interested add in one more thingbefore we start wrapping this
up, and that is, how do you guysactually work together as a
team? I mean, what does thatlook like? Kenny?
Unknown (35:17):
I would say lots of conversations, we have long
conversations. He's in Florida,I'm in Texas. And so we are not
usually in the same room whileworking together. But we, we
definitely are just incommunication as just the normal
course of things. He's, he's mydad's on, contact him
(35:39):
communicating with him. But thenwe're always talking about how
we can get leave a mark outthere, what we can do
differently, how we can supportit. He hears all of my stories
of education, and he's more ofour marketer, if you will. And
(36:01):
so we work together and justkind of in our own skills and
our own strengths, just workingtogether, what needs to be done
for this, what's coming up next,who's going to take the lead on
that? Anytime we have a podcastlike this, or interviews, we
always had to put our headstogether before we get out
(36:22):
there. So usually a lot ofconversations on the phone and
emails and stuff like that.
And that's not a typical, wehave been talking ever since she
arrived in the world. And sothat that's just, and then we're
now but but our conversationsmore pointed, we don't talk
every day, but when we do, it'sgood for hour and a half to two
(36:44):
hours. But when when it comes tothe book was The wonderful thing
about I think working with yourdaughter, when you got a great
relationship, there's no oneupsmanship I want her to win. i
Everything whatever the I wanther to win, you know, and I brag
about her and that kind ofthing. She brags about me. So we
(37:08):
sit down, we're veryintentional. We talk about how
do we get the biggest bang forthe buck out of this book, this
this is clearly a good goodbook. And at the risk of
sounding self absorbed, we'vedone good. And and I think that
we have we've introduced thisbook to everybody from Columbia
(37:29):
University to AlabamaUniversity. And because we think
we have something that'ssubstantive and useful,
practical, how many books on theshelf, never read it, but you
love buying it. And that was theend of the interface. It goes on
the shelf and it gets dusted.Reset your frequently. So I
(37:51):
interface is good. We normallycome away winning, we come away
with results. You know, Iremember when Connie was saying
she Wow, that I'm not sure aboutthis book. I'm running all over
the place. So what I did was Iwrote an index of topics. And I
remember when she got it, shebounced back. She said this
(38:12):
sounds like momentum. And wenever looked back. So yeah, the
interface is something we bothlook forward to. And we always
win when we come out.
Michele A. Barard (38:24):
That's beautiful. That's wonderful.
Well, Connie, Rufus, how canpeople get your book number one,
and how can they connect withyou?
Unknown (38:35):
The book is on on Amazon, leave a mark. And the
easiest way is that when you putleave a mark put Connie Johnson
it'll come up. There's a pictureof you. Yeah. It's you can also
reach each one of us. You canreach me at Rufus D
(38:56):
stevens@gmail.com. And Conniekind of given me because I
forget something.
Connie Johnson (39:05):
It's ConnieJohnsonAuthor at also
@gmail.com.
Michele A. Barard (39:10):
Are you on social media?
Unknown (39:13):
We live we are not as Daddy daughter books.
Yeah, we are individuals I am asa as a professional speaker. And
we do some things on Instagram.We're forming that solid social
media platform as we speak so
Michele A. Barard (39:31):
awesome. So soon, guys, you'll be able to
connect with Kanye rubas onsocial media, particularly
Instagram. So just keep youreyes open for that. You can
probably email him and get thatcontact information
Unknown (39:43):
and go right go right to Amazon for the book. Yeah,
Michele A. Barard (39:49):
leave a mark you're going to put in Connie
Johnson to find it right. leavea mark. Connie Johnson put that
in the search bar at Amazon.Yep. Awesome. Connie Rufus.
Thank you. so much for being onsomewhere in the middle. It's
been an absolute joy.
Unknown (40:04):
Thank you so much. Appreciate it, Michelle.
Michele A. Barard (40:07):
So that's our show this month guys. You can
reach me online at Michelebarard.com. You can also find me
on Facebook, Instagram andTiktok as urban book editor.
Feel free to send in some topicsyou'd like us to cover on the
show. Send me a note. Make sureyou tune into the show on
September 15 When my guests willbe linked in strategist, Daniel
(40:31):
out. You can find this once amonth on Fridays 5pm Pacific 6pm
Mountain 7pm Central 8pm.Eastern at the summary. Let's
continue the conversation. Youguys be good. Stay mind to some
blessings.
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