September 1, 2025 • 30 mins
Feeling scattered in your helping role? You're not alone. The Crown Chakra episode of SoulJoy tackles mindful presence—that deceptively simple yet transformative quality that can revolutionize your work as a helping professional.
Mindful presence isn't about emptying your mind or becoming passive. Rather, it's a multi-dimensional awareness that encompasses truly attending to your client, noticing your own internal reactions without judgment, being aware of the dynamic between you, and keeping your mental energy focused on the now instead of wandering to past or future concerns.
When you cultivate this quality, the benefits ripple outward. Clients feel truly seen and heard, fostering deeper trust. Your clinical judgment sharpens as you pick up on subtle cues that might otherwise be missed. Most importantly for sustainability, mindful presence acts as a protective factor against burnout and compassion fatigue by keeping you grounded in the manageable present rather than ruminating or catastrophizing.
Dr. Julie offers six practical, accessible strategies you can integrate into your busy day: pre-interaction pauses, mindful listening, body scan breaks, mindful movement during transitions, single-tasking, and self-compassion practices. Each takes just minutes but can transform both the quality of your work and your experience of it.
Remember—your most powerful tool isn't your knowledge or techniques, but your presence itself. When you're truly present, you create a ripple effect that enables clients to be more present, fosters deeper connections, and ultimately elevates the profound impact of your work. Subscribe to the SoulJoy email list to receive the companion worksheet that will help you implement these practices in your daily routine.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman, and welcome to
SoulJoy.
Today's episode is focused onthe Crown Chakra and talking
about a concept that is bothdeceptively simple and
profoundly transformativemindful presence, because, y'all
this is a very necessarycomponent of holistic,
(00:21):
sustainable self-care, alsoknown as wellness.
All right, thank you so muchfor joining me today.
I hope y'all are doing great,as always this is, anyway.
(00:45):
I just really appreciate y'allbeing here with me.
So, quick home, catch up,catching up, not catch up, let's
see.
We just got back from Montana,where our oldest son lives, with
his family, wife, precious wife, and two kids Teenagers.
Now, my goodness, they'vegotten big.
My grandson, last time I sawhim, wasn't as tall as I am, and
(01:07):
now he's as tall as my husband,who's six foot two, and he has
a very deep voice.
They grow so fast.
Anyway, though, when we were upthere, cliffy did a ranch rodeo
.
My God, that was exciting.
My son is so talented.
He had such a great team.
It was just.
If you ever get a chance to seea ranch rodeo, I highly
(01:27):
recommend it.
Good times for all.
Okay, professional helpers, thispodcast is dedicated to
preventing and overcoming theoccupational hazards of this
amazing career we chose, andthose hazards are burnout,
compassion, fatigue andvicarious trauma.
They're real and in thedemanding world of helping
(01:49):
professions, it doesn't matterif you're a therapist, a social
worker, an educator, a doctor, anurse, any role where you're
deeply engaged with others.
Our minds are often racing,we're analyzing, we're planning,
we're remembering details fromthe last client, we're
anticipating the next meeting orworrying about an outcome.
(02:13):
This constant mental activity,while sometimes y'all it's
necessary, can pull us away fromthe very moment we need to be
the most engaged the presentmoment with the person in front
of us.
As therapists, that's the mostamazing gift we give our clients
(02:35):
uninterrupted presence.
But what if the most powerfultool we possess isn't a new
technique or a specializedcertification, but simply the
ability to be fully here rightnow?
Mindful Presence, as we're goingto explore today, is more than
(02:58):
just a buzzword.
It's a fundamental skill thatdirectly impacts our
effectiveness y'all.
It prevents burnout and itdeepens the very essence of the
work we do.
Today, we'll define whatmindful presence truly means in
a helping context, and we'regoing to uncover its immense
(03:21):
benefits.
We're going to address thecommon barriers that pull us
away from this mindful presenceand offer practical strategies,
y'all, to cultivate this vitalquality in your demanding
professional life.
So let's clarify what mindfulpresence entails for helping
(03:43):
professionals.
Let's clarify that you knowit's not about emptying your
mind or becoming passive.
Instead, y'all, it's aboutintentional, nonjudgmental
awareness of the present moment,specifically as it relates to
our professional interactionsand our own internal states.
(04:06):
So think of it as amulti-layered awareness.
Okay, not just flat, there'smulti-layers.
First we have to attend to theclient, the person, and, as
y'all know, this is foundational.
It means truly listening, notjust waiting for your turn to
(04:28):
speak.
It's observing your client'snonverbal cues.
We're looking at, not looking.
We're listening for their toneof voice, we're looking for
subtle shifts and we're pickingup on what's unsaid.
You know the underlying stuff,the unsaid stuff.
(04:48):
Then we have to attend to self.
Simultaneously, while we areattending to the client, we're
attending to self.
It's about noticing our ownthoughts, emotions, physical
sensations as they arise duringan interaction.
I know you're aware of thaturge to interrupt that flicker
(05:09):
of impatience or that knot inyour stomach, without reacting
to them, but instead using themas information.
Now, don't get me wrong, thereare times we do need to
interrupt because that is atherapeutic interruption.
But I'm talking about when youjust feel that flicker of
(05:31):
impatience, if you will, Justnoticing, but we don't react, we
just use that information andthen we have attending to the
interaction, and this y'all isbeing aware of the dynamic
between you and the other person, the flow of energy, moments of
(05:52):
connection or disconnection,the unspoken atmosphere and
finally there's being fullythere.
And so what I mean by thisy'all?
This is the core.
It means your mental energy isfocused on the now, not mentally
planning your next question,reviewing previous notes,
(06:15):
thinking about your grocery listor judging yourself.
Your mental energy is in thehere and now.
Your mental energy is in thehere and now.
See, in essence, mindfulpresence allows you to step out
of autopilot and into a state ofdeliberate engagement and
(06:36):
compassionate observation.
Okay, the impact of cultivatingmindful presence y'all it's
profound, creating a rippleeffect that benefits not just
you but also those you serve.
So let's dive a little deeperhere.
As always, I do some researchfor y'all before I prepare these
(06:59):
podcasts and this nextcomponent, these next components
, come from some of thisresearch.
So when we're considering how wecultivate mindful presence in
this profound manner, there'sthings we need to consider.
We need to consider enhancedempathy and connection.
(07:22):
When you are fully present,clients feel truly seen and
heard and understood, and thishelps foster deeper trust and it
strengthens rapport and createsa more genuine human connection
.
Think of Yalom's tenants, thinkof Rogers, how he approached
(07:47):
therapy.
And next you want to considerimproved clinical judgment and
intuition.
So this means you have lessmental clutter, which helps you
have clearer insights.
It helps you have clearinsights.
Mindful presence allows you topick up on subtle clues, nuanced
(08:08):
information and intuitivenudges that y'all it might
otherwise be missed.
When your mind is preoccupied,you miss stuff.
Having a clear mind, beingmindfully present, helps your
(08:29):
discernment sharpen.
And then you want to considerreduced burnout and stress.
See, being present reduces thetendency to ruminate about past
difficulties or make things feelvery catastrophic, especially
when you look at futurechallenges.
It helps you stay grounded andmanageable now, preventing the
(08:53):
mental spillover of work stressinto your personal life.
It's a key strategy foremotional regulation and
preventing that secondary traumathat goes into vicarious trauma
and compassion, fatigue and allthose kinds of things that
we're impacted with in thisfield.
(09:13):
The more you're able to bepresent, the less you have to
deal with the burnout and stress.
And then we consider ethicalpractice.
Mindful presence supportsethical decision-making because
it allows for carefulconsideration.
You're able to pause before youreact and your responses are
(09:37):
thoughtful and aligned with yourvalues and what the literature
says they should be aligned with.
Talk about our codes and ourrules and regs from the state
board and just whatever theoryyou might be in.
This happens instead ofimpulsive or fear-driven
(09:58):
decisions.
Yes, then you consider greaterprofessional satisfaction.
Y'all, when you're trulypresent, the work feels more
meaningful, you're more engaged,you're less likely to just go
through the motions, youexperience the richness of each
interaction and you betterbelieve.
(10:20):
Your client knows thatdifference.
You know the difference at theend of the day.
Your client knows thatdifference.
You know the difference at theend of the day.
And lastly, you want toconsider powerful modeling for
clients.
You subtly model presence whenyou give presence.
You model self-regulation whenyou self-regulate.
(10:41):
You model non-judgmentalawareness when you give
nonjudgmental awareness, andthis can be invaluable for
clients learning similar skills,y'all for their own well-being.
So if mindful presence is sobeneficial, why is it so often
(11:04):
so challenging to maintain?
Well, there's some reasons.
First, I want to invite you tobe gentle with yourself.
We're human.
We're not going to be 100% allthe time with anything we try.
We're human beings, we're notrobots, and we have days where
we're more on point than dayswhen we're off a bit.
(11:27):
But, giving yourself some gracethere, I do encourage you to
look at where you've set yourbar and could it be raised just
a little bit when it comes tomindfulness presence.
So these are some things, as Ilooked at the research, that
appear to be present when itcomes to challenging the
(11:49):
maintenance of mindful presence.
So let's look at having a highcognitive load.
We often juggle an immenseamount of information, and this
information isn't justflat-lined information.
These are human beings we'reworking with.
Thus, this requires complexcognitive processes constantly,
(12:16):
throughout the day.
Then there's performance anxiety.
There's a pressure to fix orfind the right answer because,
right, we have insurancecompanies coming after well, not
coming after us, but havingexpectations.
Clients are paying us money todo our job.
(12:36):
I mean, there's expectationsand this can create this
performance anxiety.
You know, as I said, to fix orI want to find the right answer,
and this pressure creates amental urgency that pulls us
away from observation, pulls usaway from the mindful presence.
Then there's emotionalreactivity.
It's really easy to get caughtup in a client's distress or our
(12:57):
own emotional responses, from aclient's distress or trauma
stories, and this could lead toenmeshment, countertransference
or withdrawal.
And first I'm going to put aperiod right there we want to
seek consultation.
If we find ourself in thisplace, it's not we've done
anything wrong.
It means we have some thingsthat would be well served,
(13:20):
seeking some supervision orconsultation, but knowing that
this emotional reactivity alsopulls us from the ability to
have mindful presence.
And then there's internal andexternal distractions.
Our phones God.
Do you remember when phoneswere hooked to the wall and
didn't follow us around all day?
I'm of a certain generation,certainly remember that.
(13:44):
Oh, that was.
I mean, I long for those times.
But this is here to there.
Our phones aren't extracted.
Our distractions overflowinginboxes, be it hard hard mail,
snail mail or electronic mail.
Our own thoughts and worriesconstantly vie for our attention
(14:05):
and this can pull us frommindful presence and habitual
mind wandering.
Our brains are simply wired tojump from thought to thought,
planning the future or livingthe past.
Our brains are wired to seekout danger, to seek out things
that might be threatening to ourability to stay alive.
(14:33):
Now, this is our limbic system.
Our polyvagal system getstriggered, but it's online, and
this habitual mind-wandering ispart of that.
Now I'm talking about jumpingfrom thought to thought, but if
you look at our ancestors, thismind-wandering were things that
kept our ancestors alive.
So our brain is wired for thisand it pulls us from mindful
(14:54):
presence.
The good news is thatcultivating mindful presence is
a skill and, like any skilly'all, it can be developed and
strengthened with practice.
But you've got to make the 10to 15 minutes a day to do it for
yourself.
It's not going to happen bymagic and I'm speaking, I'm
(15:18):
talking to myself, really.
So I say that I signed up for ameditation channel, I don't
know, three weeks ago and I'velistened to it twice, and you
know better, take care of mybusiness before I start talking
to others.
Huh, we have to make time forourselves.
So I've started the last coupleof times, the last two days.
(15:40):
I've been good about it.
I set a timer on my clock on myphone and it goes off and I
just, whatever I'm doing, I putmy earphones in and I do my
meditation, whatever y'all needto do for yourselves to make it
happen.
First, I want to normalize.
We know it's good.
Right, we're in the field ofhelping.
We know the things that help.
How often do we not do it forourselves?
(16:02):
So I just invite you to figureout a way to make that happen
for you.
So we need to cultivate mindfulpresence and, as I said, it's a
skill and we can strengthenthis skill and I'm going to give
you some accessible strategiesto help you integrate into your
(16:26):
demanding professional life as Ihave a demanding professional
life strategies that can helpyou be more comfortable in your
skin, enjoy your clients more,enjoy your home life more.
These are simple things tocommit to.
It's a commit, it is.
I had to commit to setting thatphone timer and doing my
(16:47):
meditation.
Okay.
So, number one, there's thepre-interaction pause.
So how this works before eachclient session, team meeting or
significant interaction, yousimply take one to two minutes.
Or significant interaction, yousimply take one to two minutes.
(17:07):
You simply close your eyes.
If you're in an appropriatelocation, it feels good for you,
you can keep your eyes open,you focus on your breath and you
set an intention to be fullypresent.
You release any lingeringthoughts from the previous task
and you arrive present, y'all.
The benefit here is that thisclears mental clutter and
(17:31):
signals a transition to yourmind, to your amygdala hey,
we're transitioning here andhelps you into focused attention
.
Okay, number two mindfullistening, deep listening, how
this looks.
You consciously dedicate yourfull attention to hearing every
(17:53):
word, tone and pause.
You observe nonverbal cues likebody language, facial
expressions, and you notice whenyour mind wanders and you
gently bring it back.
The benefit here is that thisis going to improve rapport,
(18:14):
it's going to ensure you gatheraccurate information and it's
going to reduce assumptions.
Number three one of my favoritesbody scan breaks.
So this would look like youtake short breaks between
clients or tasks one to twominutes to quickly scan your
(18:36):
body head to toe.
I've, if you go back to myfirst few episodes in season one
, I take you through body scansthrough the chakra system.
Every time I do a body scan,every time I have a client do a
body scan, I'm also seeing wherethat physical sensation is
landing, what chakra that'slanding in, and that gives me a
lot of information.
But you do your scan from headto toe.
(18:59):
You notice any areas of tension, relaxation or sensation
without judgment.
The benefit here is that thisis going to ground you in your
physical experience Somatic,right, this is very somatic.
This is going to help releaseaccumulated tension and it pulls
your awareness into the presentmoment as you're scanning.
(19:23):
You cannot be anywhere butpresent.
Again, I highly encourage youto go back and listen to my two
episodes on body scans andchakra systems I think that has
some really good and listen tomy two episodes on body scans
and chakra systems.
I think that has some reallygood information that could help
you with those body scans.
Okay, number four there'smindful movement transition
moments.
What this looks like whenyou're walking between offices
(19:47):
to the break room, up to getyour client to your car.
Pay attention to the sensationsof your feet on the ground,
your breath and the sights andsounds around you.
The benefit here is that thistransforms mundane transitions
into opportunities for mindfulpractice and it brings you back
(20:10):
to the present opportunities formindful practice.
And it brings you back to thepresent.
Side note if you have a clientthat really escalates in your
office, I use this mindfulmovement to help them become
more grounded.
Now I might have them walkaround the office.
I might have them name fivethings they can see, name four
things they could hear andthings like that to try and get
(20:33):
them grounded.
But I believe the more somaticwe can be ourselves and help our
clients be, the more we live inour bodies and that gives us
some just a presence knowing whowe are being able to be
grounded and alive, knowing whowe are being able to be grounded
(20:54):
and alive.
The benefit for this mindfulmovement also is that well, I
told you, it transformstransitions and it's going to
help you stay more in thepresent.
And number five one thing at atime, single tasking.
So what this looks like is foryou to deliberately commit to
focusing on one task completelybefore moving to the next.
(21:18):
That gives you a sense ofaccomplishment.
It feels for me, it feels sodamn good to mark something off
my to-do list, feel like I'veaccomplished something.
And it helps close unnecessarytabs and silence notifications.
The benefit here is that itreduces cognitive overload, it
(21:39):
helps you improve focus and itenhances the quality of your
attention.
And finally, number six I talkabout self-compassion a lot
because it's eminently importantand I will continue to talk
about self-compassion a lotbecause it's eminently important
and I will continue to talkabout it.
But mindful self-compassionbreak.
So what this looks like when younotice yourself judging
(22:03):
yourself or in judgment ofothers, when you feel frustrated
with self or others or you feeloverwhelmed, creeping in, I
want you to pause, place a handon your heart and offer yourself
words of kindness andunderstanding.
This is a moment of difficulty.
(22:23):
May I be kind to myself.
You say something nice toyourself.
I even pat my face sometimes.
I might have one hand on myheart and pat my face.
I want to release some oxytocin, too, to help me feel more
grounded and satiated.
The benefit here is that you'reregulating your emotions,
(22:43):
you're creating inner safety,and this allows for greater
presence by reducingself-criticism.
Okay, so there's six completelyfree strategies you can employ
when you're really trying tobring mindful presence into your
life.
See, cultivating rather mindfulpresence is an ongoing practice
(23:07):
, right?
Nothing we do is one and done,and we're not going for a state
of perfection.
There's going to be times, as Isaid earlier, we're human.
We're not 100%.
There's going to be times whenyour mind wanders, and y'all
that's okay.
The practice is simply noticingthat wandering.
(23:28):
You want to notice when you'rewandering, when that mind is
going elsewhere, and then yougently guide your attention back
to the present moment.
As helpers, your most importanttool isn't your knowledge or
your skills although those arevery important, don't get me
wrong but your presence, yourvery presence is the gift you
(23:49):
bring.
When you're truly present,y'all, you're creating a ripple
effect.
You're going to enable yourclients to be more present,
foster deeper connections andultimately elevate the profound
impact of your work.
Okay, commercial break.
Subscribe to my email list toget the weekly podcast emailed
(24:13):
to you.
It's going to arrive in yourinbox.
It's going to arrive with alink to the podcast and it's
going to arrive with a free PDFthat I create each week to go
with the activity I'm about totake you through.
Just hop on over towwwjuliemerrimanphdcom.
Check out the website.
You could pick up my books InPursuit of Soul Joy.
(24:34):
You could hop on my calendar ifyou want any coaching or
therapy.
There's all kinds of goodies.
I've got a self-care challenge.
It's worth a hop over.
So, juliemerrimanphdcom.
Okay, back to our program.
The activity I created for youthis week is called the Presence
(24:56):
Check-In, a practice forhelping professionals and y'all.
I designed this activity tohelp you actively engage with
the concepts from this episodeof Soul Joy.
Y'all, through guidedreflection and a short practical
exercise, you're going toexplore your current level of
presence in your work anddevelop strategies to deepen it.
(25:18):
Okay, so you know you can thinkthrough this as you're driving
or walking or doing your laundry, or I know I like to listen to
podcasts when I'm cleaning houseor cooking or whatever.
You can think through it.
But I highly encourage you toget on the email list, get this
PDF and re-listen to thisepisode and work through the PDF
(25:38):
.
So if you do that, you want tofind a quiet space.
You want to be able to focuswithout interruption.
Re-listen to this episode and,as you listen, pay close
attention to the descriptions ofmindful presence that we just
went through and the benefits ofmindful presence as well as
barriers that can pull us awayfrom mindful presence with
(26:15):
clients, with patients, withstudents.
Identify two to three specificpatterns or situations where you
notice times you feel highlypresent.
What contributes to yourpresence?
Times you struggle to bepresent.
What pulls you away from themoment?
And an example might be I feelmost present when a client is
(26:35):
sharing a significant emotionalmoment.
I struggle to be present whenI'm feeling rushed or behind
schedule.
I relate to that, but I'vereally tried to get better with
my self-talk and take a deepbreath and tell myself it's okay
, I'm doing the best I can.
The world's not going to cometo an end.
(26:57):
If I'm a couple of minutes late,my grandmother raised me.
And how many Raise your hand?
Boom.
My grandmother raised me tobelieve if I'm not 15 minutes
early, I'm late and I have runmy life by that.
But as I'm older now I'm reallytrying.
I mean, I want to respect otherpeople's time and I'm not going
to run way late.
But if I'm there at five tillinstead of 15 minutes till, I'm
(27:20):
going to give myself some graceand I invite you to do the same.
Okay, so that's step one.
You identify patterns where youare present and where you
struggle to be present.
Then, step two you explore theimpact For each pattern you
identified in the first step.
Explore the impact of yourlevel of presence, or lack
(27:43):
thereof, on both yourself andyour work.
So I want you to consider theimpact on you, the helper.
Do you experience stress?
Do you experience energy?
Is there a sense of connectionto the work?
Is there overall well-being?
The impact on your clients,your work, your helper's role.
(28:05):
What's the quality of rapport?
What's the depth ofunderstanding?
What's the effectiveness of theinterventions you're using?
How's your client progressing?
You want to explore the impact.
You were looking at yourpresence or lack thereof.
You want to explore the impactof your presence or lack thereof
.
And then, step three, the minipresence practice.
(28:28):
You choose one situation fromthe very first step where you
struggle to be present.
I want you to close your eyesand bring to mind a recent
example of that situation, andthen I want you to spend two to
three minutes practicing mindfulpresence in this imagined
(28:48):
scenario.
So you're going to focus onyour breath, sensations in your
body, sounds in your environment, any thoughts or emotions that
arise, observing everythingwithout judgment.
Once you do that, I want you tonote your observations, write
them down.
I want you to note yourobservations, write them down.
(29:11):
What did you notice about yourability to stay present?
What challenges arose?
What strategies helped you toreturn to the present moment?
And then, in step four, as Iusually sum things up, you're
going to do an action plan.
You're going to commit to that.
(29:31):
You're going to choose onespecific strategy from the
(29:56):
podcast this podcast that you'rewilling to commit to, when and
where you're going to do it, anda brief statement of your
commitment to integrate thispractice.
Okay, that's all for thisepisode.
Again, there's a beautiful PDFto go with this activity.
I really encourage you to signup on my email list.
Thank you so much for listeningand thank you for your
dedication to being fullypresent for those you serve.
(30:20):
And until next time, embracethe power of now and keep
thriving in your helping role.
Subscribe to my podcast, leavea review to help me reach more
folks and, until next time, takecare of you.
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman, and welcome to
SoulJoy.
Today's episode is focused onthe Crown Chakra and talking
about a concept that is bothdeceptively simple and
profoundly transformativemindful presence, because, y'all
this is a very necessarycomponent of holistic,
(00:21):
sustainable self-care, alsoknown as wellness.
All right, thank you so muchfor joining me today.
I hope y'all are doing great,as always this is, anyway.
(00:45):
I just really appreciate y'allbeing here with me.
So, quick home, catch up,catching up, not catch up, let's
see.
We just got back from Montana,where our oldest son lives, with
his family, wife, precious wife, and two kids Teenagers.
Now, my goodness, they'vegotten big.
My grandson, last time I sawhim, wasn't as tall as I am, and
(01:07):
now he's as tall as my husband,who's six foot two, and he has
a very deep voice.
They grow so fast.
Anyway, though, when we were upthere, cliffy did a ranch rodeo
.
My God, that was exciting.
My son is so talented.
He had such a great team.
It was just.
If you ever get a chance to seea ranch rodeo, I highly
(01:27):
recommend it.
Good times for all.
Okay, professional helpers, thispodcast is dedicated to
preventing and overcoming theoccupational hazards of this
amazing career we chose, andthose hazards are burnout,
compassion, fatigue andvicarious trauma.
They're real and in thedemanding world of helping
(01:49):
professions, it doesn't matterif you're a therapist, a social
worker, an educator, a doctor, anurse, any role where you're
deeply engaged with others.
Our minds are often racing,we're analyzing, we're planning,
we're remembering details fromthe last client, we're
anticipating the next meeting orworrying about an outcome.
(02:13):
This constant mental activity,while sometimes y'all it's
necessary, can pull us away fromthe very moment we need to be
the most engaged the presentmoment with the person in front
of us.
As therapists, that's the mostamazing gift we give our clients
(02:35):
uninterrupted presence.
But what if the most powerfultool we possess isn't a new
technique or a specializedcertification, but simply the
ability to be fully here rightnow?
Mindful Presence, as we're goingto explore today, is more than
(02:58):
just a buzzword.
It's a fundamental skill thatdirectly impacts our
effectiveness y'all.
It prevents burnout and itdeepens the very essence of the
work we do.
Today, we'll define whatmindful presence truly means in
a helping context, and we'regoing to uncover its immense
(03:21):
benefits.
We're going to address thecommon barriers that pull us
away from this mindful presenceand offer practical strategies,
y'all, to cultivate this vitalquality in your demanding
professional life.
So let's clarify what mindfulpresence entails for helping
(03:43):
professionals.
Let's clarify that you knowit's not about emptying your
mind or becoming passive.
Instead, y'all, it's aboutintentional, nonjudgmental
awareness of the present moment,specifically as it relates to
our professional interactionsand our own internal states.
(04:06):
So think of it as amulti-layered awareness.
Okay, not just flat, there'smulti-layers.
First we have to attend to theclient, the person, and, as
y'all know, this is foundational.
It means truly listening, notjust waiting for your turn to
(04:28):
speak.
It's observing your client'snonverbal cues.
We're looking at, not looking.
We're listening for their toneof voice, we're looking for
subtle shifts and we're pickingup on what's unsaid.
You know the underlying stuff,the unsaid stuff.
(04:48):
Then we have to attend to self.
Simultaneously, while we areattending to the client, we're
attending to self.
It's about noticing our ownthoughts, emotions, physical
sensations as they arise duringan interaction.
I know you're aware of thaturge to interrupt that flicker
(05:09):
of impatience or that knot inyour stomach, without reacting
to them, but instead using themas information.
Now, don't get me wrong, thereare times we do need to
interrupt because that is atherapeutic interruption.
But I'm talking about when youjust feel that flicker of
(05:31):
impatience, if you will, Justnoticing, but we don't react, we
just use that information andthen we have attending to the
interaction, and this y'all isbeing aware of the dynamic
between you and the other person, the flow of energy, moments of
(05:52):
connection or disconnection,the unspoken atmosphere and
finally there's being fullythere.
And so what I mean by thisy'all?
This is the core.
It means your mental energy isfocused on the now, not mentally
planning your next question,reviewing previous notes,
(06:15):
thinking about your grocery listor judging yourself.
Your mental energy is in thehere and now.
Your mental energy is in thehere and now.
See, in essence, mindfulpresence allows you to step out
of autopilot and into a state ofdeliberate engagement and
(06:36):
compassionate observation.
Okay, the impact of cultivatingmindful presence y'all it's
profound, creating a rippleeffect that benefits not just
you but also those you serve.
So let's dive a little deeperhere.
As always, I do some researchfor y'all before I prepare these
(06:59):
podcasts and this nextcomponent, these next components
, come from some of thisresearch.
So when we're considering how wecultivate mindful presence in
this profound manner, there'sthings we need to consider.
We need to consider enhancedempathy and connection.
(07:22):
When you are fully present,clients feel truly seen and
heard and understood, and thishelps foster deeper trust and it
strengthens rapport and createsa more genuine human connection
.
Think of Yalom's tenants, thinkof Rogers, how he approached
(07:47):
therapy.
And next you want to considerimproved clinical judgment and
intuition.
So this means you have lessmental clutter, which helps you
have clearer insights.
It helps you have clearinsights.
Mindful presence allows you topick up on subtle clues, nuanced
(08:08):
information and intuitivenudges that y'all it might
otherwise be missed.
When your mind is preoccupied,you miss stuff.
Having a clear mind, beingmindfully present, helps your
(08:29):
discernment sharpen.
And then you want to considerreduced burnout and stress.
See, being present reduces thetendency to ruminate about past
difficulties or make things feelvery catastrophic, especially
when you look at futurechallenges.
It helps you stay grounded andmanageable now, preventing the
(08:53):
mental spillover of work stressinto your personal life.
It's a key strategy foremotional regulation and
preventing that secondary traumathat goes into vicarious trauma
and compassion, fatigue and allthose kinds of things that
we're impacted with in thisfield.
(09:13):
The more you're able to bepresent, the less you have to
deal with the burnout and stress.
And then we consider ethicalpractice.
Mindful presence supportsethical decision-making because
it allows for carefulconsideration.
You're able to pause before youreact and your responses are
(09:37):
thoughtful and aligned with yourvalues and what the literature
says they should be aligned with.
Talk about our codes and ourrules and regs from the state
board and just whatever theoryyou might be in.
This happens instead ofimpulsive or fear-driven
(09:58):
decisions.
Yes, then you consider greaterprofessional satisfaction.
Y'all, when you're trulypresent, the work feels more
meaningful, you're more engaged,you're less likely to just go
through the motions, youexperience the richness of each
interaction and you betterbelieve.
(10:20):
Your client knows thatdifference.
You know the difference at theend of the day.
Your client knows thatdifference.
You know the difference at theend of the day.
And lastly, you want toconsider powerful modeling for
clients.
You subtly model presence whenyou give presence.
You model self-regulation whenyou self-regulate.
(10:41):
You model non-judgmentalawareness when you give
nonjudgmental awareness, andthis can be invaluable for
clients learning similar skills,y'all for their own well-being.
So if mindful presence is sobeneficial, why is it so often
(11:04):
so challenging to maintain?
Well, there's some reasons.
First, I want to invite you tobe gentle with yourself.
We're human.
We're not going to be 100% allthe time with anything we try.
We're human beings, we're notrobots, and we have days where
we're more on point than dayswhen we're off a bit.
(11:27):
But, giving yourself some gracethere, I do encourage you to
look at where you've set yourbar and could it be raised just
a little bit when it comes tomindfulness presence.
So these are some things, as Ilooked at the research, that
appear to be present when itcomes to challenging the
(11:49):
maintenance of mindful presence.
So let's look at having a highcognitive load.
We often juggle an immenseamount of information, and this
information isn't justflat-lined information.
These are human beings we'reworking with.
Thus, this requires complexcognitive processes constantly,
(12:16):
throughout the day.
Then there's performance anxiety.
There's a pressure to fix orfind the right answer because,
right, we have insurancecompanies coming after well, not
coming after us, but havingexpectations.
Clients are paying us money todo our job.
(12:36):
I mean, there's expectationsand this can create this
performance anxiety.
You know, as I said, to fix orI want to find the right answer,
and this pressure creates amental urgency that pulls us
away from observation, pulls usaway from the mindful presence.
Then there's emotionalreactivity.
It's really easy to get caughtup in a client's distress or our
(12:57):
own emotional responses, from aclient's distress or trauma
stories, and this could lead toenmeshment, countertransference
or withdrawal.
And first I'm going to put aperiod right there we want to
seek consultation.
If we find ourself in thisplace, it's not we've done
anything wrong.
It means we have some thingsthat would be well served,
(13:20):
seeking some supervision orconsultation, but knowing that
this emotional reactivity alsopulls us from the ability to
have mindful presence.
And then there's internal andexternal distractions.
Our phones God.
Do you remember when phoneswere hooked to the wall and
didn't follow us around all day?
I'm of a certain generation,certainly remember that.
(13:44):
Oh, that was.
I mean, I long for those times.
But this is here to there.
Our phones aren't extracted.
Our distractions overflowinginboxes, be it hard hard mail,
snail mail or electronic mail.
Our own thoughts and worriesconstantly vie for our attention
(14:05):
and this can pull us frommindful presence and habitual
mind wandering.
Our brains are simply wired tojump from thought to thought,
planning the future or livingthe past.
Our brains are wired to seekout danger, to seek out things
that might be threatening to ourability to stay alive.
(14:33):
Now, this is our limbic system.
Our polyvagal system getstriggered, but it's online, and
this habitual mind-wandering ispart of that.
Now I'm talking about jumpingfrom thought to thought, but if
you look at our ancestors, thismind-wandering were things that
kept our ancestors alive.
So our brain is wired for thisand it pulls us from mindful
(14:54):
presence.
The good news is thatcultivating mindful presence is
a skill and, like any skilly'all, it can be developed and
strengthened with practice.
But you've got to make the 10to 15 minutes a day to do it for
yourself.
It's not going to happen bymagic and I'm speaking, I'm
(15:18):
talking to myself, really.
So I say that I signed up for ameditation channel, I don't
know, three weeks ago and I'velistened to it twice, and you
know better, take care of mybusiness before I start talking
to others.
Huh, we have to make time forourselves.
So I've started the last coupleof times, the last two days.
(15:40):
I've been good about it.
I set a timer on my clock on myphone and it goes off and I
just, whatever I'm doing, I putmy earphones in and I do my
meditation, whatever y'all needto do for yourselves to make it
happen.
First, I want to normalize.
We know it's good.
Right, we're in the field ofhelping.
We know the things that help.
How often do we not do it forourselves?
(16:02):
So I just invite you to figureout a way to make that happen
for you.
So we need to cultivate mindfulpresence and, as I said, it's a
skill and we can strengthenthis skill and I'm going to give
you some accessible strategiesto help you integrate into your
(16:26):
demanding professional life as Ihave a demanding professional
life strategies that can helpyou be more comfortable in your
skin, enjoy your clients more,enjoy your home life more.
These are simple things tocommit to.
It's a commit, it is.
I had to commit to setting thatphone timer and doing my
(16:47):
meditation.
Okay.
So, number one, there's thepre-interaction pause.
So how this works before eachclient session, team meeting or
significant interaction, yousimply take one to two minutes.
Or significant interaction, yousimply take one to two minutes.
(17:07):
You simply close your eyes.
If you're in an appropriatelocation, it feels good for you,
you can keep your eyes open,you focus on your breath and you
set an intention to be fullypresent.
You release any lingeringthoughts from the previous task
and you arrive present, y'all.
The benefit here is that thisclears mental clutter and
(17:31):
signals a transition to yourmind, to your amygdala hey,
we're transitioning here andhelps you into focused attention
.
Okay, number two mindfullistening, deep listening, how
this looks.
You consciously dedicate yourfull attention to hearing every
(17:53):
word, tone and pause.
You observe nonverbal cues likebody language, facial
expressions, and you notice whenyour mind wanders and you
gently bring it back.
The benefit here is that thisis going to improve rapport,
(18:14):
it's going to ensure you gatheraccurate information and it's
going to reduce assumptions.
Number three one of my favoritesbody scan breaks.
So this would look like youtake short breaks between
clients or tasks one to twominutes to quickly scan your
(18:36):
body head to toe.
I've, if you go back to myfirst few episodes in season one
, I take you through body scansthrough the chakra system.
Every time I do a body scan,every time I have a client do a
body scan, I'm also seeing wherethat physical sensation is
landing, what chakra that'slanding in, and that gives me a
lot of information.
But you do your scan from headto toe.
(18:59):
You notice any areas of tension, relaxation or sensation
without judgment.
The benefit here is that thisis going to ground you in your
physical experience Somatic,right, this is very somatic.
This is going to help releaseaccumulated tension and it pulls
your awareness into the presentmoment as you're scanning.
(19:23):
You cannot be anywhere butpresent.
Again, I highly encourage youto go back and listen to my two
episodes on body scans andchakra systems I think that has
some really good and listen tomy two episodes on body scans
and chakra systems.
I think that has some reallygood information that could help
you with those body scans.
Okay, number four there'smindful movement transition
moments.
What this looks like whenyou're walking between offices
(19:47):
to the break room, up to getyour client to your car.
Pay attention to the sensationsof your feet on the ground,
your breath and the sights andsounds around you.
The benefit here is that thistransforms mundane transitions
into opportunities for mindfulpractice and it brings you back
(20:10):
to the present opportunities formindful practice.
And it brings you back to thepresent.
Side note if you have a clientthat really escalates in your
office, I use this mindfulmovement to help them become
more grounded.
Now I might have them walkaround the office.
I might have them name fivethings they can see, name four
things they could hear andthings like that to try and get
(20:33):
them grounded.
But I believe the more somaticwe can be ourselves and help our
clients be, the more we live inour bodies and that gives us
some just a presence knowing whowe are being able to be
grounded and alive, knowing whowe are being able to be grounded
(20:54):
and alive.
The benefit for this mindfulmovement also is that well, I
told you, it transformstransitions and it's going to
help you stay more in thepresent.
And number five one thing at atime, single tasking.
So what this looks like is foryou to deliberately commit to
focusing on one task completelybefore moving to the next.
(21:18):
That gives you a sense ofaccomplishment.
It feels for me, it feels sodamn good to mark something off
my to-do list, feel like I'veaccomplished something.
And it helps close unnecessarytabs and silence notifications.
The benefit here is that itreduces cognitive overload, it
(21:39):
helps you improve focus and itenhances the quality of your
attention.
And finally, number six I talkabout self-compassion a lot
because it's eminently importantand I will continue to talk
about self-compassion a lotbecause it's eminently important
and I will continue to talkabout it.
But mindful self-compassionbreak.
So what this looks like when younotice yourself judging
(22:03):
yourself or in judgment ofothers, when you feel frustrated
with self or others or you feeloverwhelmed, creeping in, I
want you to pause, place a handon your heart and offer yourself
words of kindness andunderstanding.
This is a moment of difficulty.
(22:23):
May I be kind to myself.
You say something nice toyourself.
I even pat my face sometimes.
I might have one hand on myheart and pat my face.
I want to release some oxytocin, too, to help me feel more
grounded and satiated.
The benefit here is that you'reregulating your emotions,
(22:43):
you're creating inner safety,and this allows for greater
presence by reducingself-criticism.
Okay, so there's six completelyfree strategies you can employ
when you're really trying tobring mindful presence into your
life.
See, cultivating rather mindfulpresence is an ongoing practice
(23:07):
, right?
Nothing we do is one and done,and we're not going for a state
of perfection.
There's going to be times, as Isaid earlier, we're human.
We're not 100%.
There's going to be times whenyour mind wanders, and y'all
that's okay.
The practice is simply noticingthat wandering.
(23:28):
You want to notice when you'rewandering, when that mind is
going elsewhere, and then yougently guide your attention back
to the present moment.
As helpers, your most importanttool isn't your knowledge or
your skills although those arevery important, don't get me
wrong but your presence, yourvery presence is the gift you
(23:49):
bring.
When you're truly present,y'all, you're creating a ripple
effect.
You're going to enable yourclients to be more present,
foster deeper connections andultimately elevate the profound
impact of your work.
Okay, commercial break.
Subscribe to my email list toget the weekly podcast emailed
(24:13):
to you.
It's going to arrive in yourinbox.
It's going to arrive with alink to the podcast and it's
going to arrive with a free PDFthat I create each week to go
with the activity I'm about totake you through.
Just hop on over towwwjuliemerrimanphdcom.
Check out the website.
You could pick up my books InPursuit of Soul Joy.
(24:34):
You could hop on my calendar ifyou want any coaching or
therapy.
There's all kinds of goodies.
I've got a self-care challenge.
It's worth a hop over.
So, juliemerrimanphdcom.
Okay, back to our program.
The activity I created for youthis week is called the Presence
(24:56):
Check-In, a practice forhelping professionals and y'all.
I designed this activity tohelp you actively engage with
the concepts from this episodeof Soul Joy.
Y'all, through guidedreflection and a short practical
exercise, you're going toexplore your current level of
presence in your work anddevelop strategies to deepen it.
(25:18):
Okay, so you know you can thinkthrough this as you're driving
or walking or doing your laundry, or I know I like to listen to
podcasts when I'm cleaning houseor cooking or whatever.
You can think through it.
But I highly encourage you toget on the email list, get this
PDF and re-listen to thisepisode and work through the PDF
(25:38):
.
So if you do that, you want tofind a quiet space.
You want to be able to focuswithout interruption.
Re-listen to this episode and,as you listen, pay close
attention to the descriptions ofmindful presence that we just
went through and the benefits ofmindful presence as well as
barriers that can pull us awayfrom mindful presence with
(26:15):
clients, with patients, withstudents.
Identify two to three specificpatterns or situations where you
notice times you feel highlypresent.
What contributes to yourpresence?
Times you struggle to bepresent.
What pulls you away from themoment?
And an example might be I feelmost present when a client is
(26:35):
sharing a significant emotionalmoment.
I struggle to be present whenI'm feeling rushed or behind
schedule.
I relate to that, but I'vereally tried to get better with
my self-talk and take a deepbreath and tell myself it's okay
, I'm doing the best I can.
The world's not going to cometo an end.
(26:57):
If I'm a couple of minutes late,my grandmother raised me.
And how many Raise your hand?
Boom.
My grandmother raised me tobelieve if I'm not 15 minutes
early, I'm late and I have runmy life by that.
But as I'm older now I'm reallytrying.
I mean, I want to respect otherpeople's time and I'm not going
to run way late.
But if I'm there at five tillinstead of 15 minutes till, I'm
(27:20):
going to give myself some graceand I invite you to do the same.
Okay, so that's step one.
You identify patterns where youare present and where you
struggle to be present.
Then, step two you explore theimpact For each pattern you
identified in the first step.
Explore the impact of yourlevel of presence, or lack
(27:43):
thereof, on both yourself andyour work.
So I want you to consider theimpact on you, the helper.
Do you experience stress?
Do you experience energy?
Is there a sense of connectionto the work?
Is there overall well-being?
The impact on your clients,your work, your helper's role.
(28:05):
What's the quality of rapport?
What's the depth ofunderstanding?
What's the effectiveness of theinterventions you're using?
How's your client progressing?
You want to explore the impact.
You were looking at yourpresence or lack thereof.
You want to explore the impactof your presence or lack thereof
.
And then, step three, the minipresence practice.
(28:28):
You choose one situation fromthe very first step where you
struggle to be present.
I want you to close your eyesand bring to mind a recent
example of that situation, andthen I want you to spend two to
three minutes practicing mindfulpresence in this imagined
(28:48):
scenario.
So you're going to focus onyour breath, sensations in your
body, sounds in your environment, any thoughts or emotions that
arise, observing everythingwithout judgment.
Once you do that, I want you tonote your observations, write
them down.
I want you to note yourobservations, write them down.
(29:11):
What did you notice about yourability to stay present?
What challenges arose?
What strategies helped you toreturn to the present moment?
And then, in step four, as Iusually sum things up, you're
going to do an action plan.
You're going to commit to that.
(29:31):
You're going to choose onespecific strategy from the
(29:56):
podcast this podcast that you'rewilling to commit to, when and
where you're going to do it, anda brief statement of your
commitment to integrate thispractice.
Okay, that's all for thisepisode.
Again, there's a beautiful PDFto go with this activity.
I really encourage you to signup on my email list.
Thank you so much for listeningand thank you for your
dedication to being fullypresent for those you serve.
(30:20):
And until next time, embracethe power of now and keep
thriving in your helping role.
Subscribe to my podcast, leavea review to help me reach more
folks and, until next time, takecare of you.
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