November 18, 2024 • 16 mins
Picture this: a herd of baby calves frolicking in the pasture, embodying pure joy and playfulness. That's the energy we're tapping into today on SoulJoy as we journey through the essential but often overlooked aspects of self-care—creativity, sexuality, and emotions. I'm Dr. Julie Merriman, and in this episode, I share cherished memories of my great-grandmother Wade from 1974, whose life was a testament to embracing these energies. From her creative resourcefulness during hard times on a Texas dairy farm to her stories of family and resilience, she taught me the importance of a balanced sacral chakra and living a multifaceted life.
If you've ever felt the weight of burnout, vicarious trauma, or compassion fatigue, especially in the helping professions, this conversation is for you. As a registered play therapist, I emphasize the power of play—not just for children but in every aspect of life, including relationships and personal pursuits. Whether it's designing costumes or engaging with a partner, play is a conduit for expressing sexual energy, creativity, and emotions. This episode is an invitation to embrace the colorful, messy, and sexy parts of life, offering a path to a more energized and fulfilling existence.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
SoulJoy.
Today let's explore sexy,creative and messy.
I believe these are reallynecessary components of holistic
, sustainable self-care, alsoknown as wellness.
(00:24):
Okay, friend, thank you so muchfor tuning in today this
episode.
I hope you find some nuggetsthat are pretty.
Nuggets that are prettyrelatable is the word that comes
(00:47):
to my head, but I don't know ifthat's the right word.
But today we're going toexplore um, sexy, creative and
messy.
Before we get there, I want totalk to you about all the baby
calves running around in ourpastures.
Oh, my Lanta, they are so cute.
(01:08):
They're frolicking, it's alittle cooler, so their tails
are up in the air and they'rejumping around.
That.
When we talk about playfulnessand I'm going to talk about that
in a bit that to me is just theepitome of playfulness, when
those little guys are out thereplaying and I love to just sit
in my rocker yeah, I got arocker on that back porch and
(01:30):
watch them, and it is justjoyful.
So, as y'all know, this podcastis designed for professional
helpers.
I want to help you overcome theoccupational hazards of this
field.
We chose and we specificallylook at burnout, vicarious
trauma and compassion, fatigueAll the things I talk about in
(01:53):
this podcast have everything todo with those when we can get
sustainable, holistic self-carein place that equates wellness
and that helps us offset thosecomponents burnout, compassion,
fatigue and trauma vicarioustrauma.
Okay, so the last I don't knowfour or five episodes we have
(02:18):
spent looking at our root chakra, talked about some really
important things there.
Today we're moving on up to thesacral chakra, and this y'all
is where our energy forcreativity, sexuality and
emotions live.
So years and years and years ago, way back in 1974, my parents
(02:44):
were going through a prettynasty divorce and I was sent to
Arizona to live with mygreat-grandmother and you know,
looking back, that was truly ablessing.
I'm the only one of the kidsthat ever got to go live with
her and get to know her like Idid.
She single-handedly taught methe importance of accepting
(03:07):
creativity, sexuality andemotions Maybe not in those
exact words, but just in whatall the stories she told me
about our family and how she hadlived her life.
See great-grandmother Wade.
Not only was she Clyde Barrowof Bonnie and Clyde's cousin, I
(03:28):
mean, she was from the Metroplexhere in Texas but when she
married my great-grandfather,they moved away from Fort Worth
to live on a dairy in San Saba,texas.
Now they were creating thedairy.
So they got some cows andstarted to build this dairy out
in San Saba and if anyone isfamiliar with San Saba that's a
(03:51):
bad area to try and put in adairy.
And you know it was the early1900s and we didn't have all the
luxuries that we have now.
So great-grandmother used hercreative energies to make sure
her family was fed and loved.
She remembered those hard times, as she told me about them in
(04:13):
74 with joy.
And she was able to keep thather sacral chakra balanced
because she tapped into thecreativity and sexuality and her
emotions.
So she wasn't just living thisflatline life, she was living a
(04:36):
very dimensionally,three-dimensional life, because
I believe our life would beterribly flat without having a
balanced sacral chakra.
Can you imagine a world withoutcreativity or sexual energy or
emotions?
It'd just be a world not veryfun to live in.
(04:58):
You know I'm a registered playtherapist.
I'm trained a lot of things butfor years I just focused on
play therapy and not necessarilywith kids.
I used it in my couplescounseling.
I used it in a lot ofmodalities.
But as I studied that andpracticed that, I've learned the
importance of play and I thinkplay encompasses sexual energy
(05:23):
and creativity and emotions.
I mean you think of time withyour lover and the playfulness
there.
Or you think of time whereyou're creating.
A long time ago I was a drillteam director and I used to love
to create their costumes and Iwould just get lost in those
(05:44):
creations and thinking aboutemotions.
It's something we run from.
But until we get to handle ouremotions and sit our asses down
and feel what we need to feel,we will not have a balanced
chakra and it robs us of play,because play has a lot of joy in
(06:05):
it and that's an emotion.
I think what has happened is weget too damn busy adulting and
we forget how necessary theyumminess of play is.
It can take all forms, playthat is.
You know, maybe they're toysyou're playing with.
(06:27):
Maybe you're going on walks,maybe you're just sitting
outside throwing the toy foryour pooch to play.
Maybe you're watching thecalves frolic on the other side
of the fence.
Play can take all forms.
The thing about play is it'sunscripted and it's joyful.
So you see how that canencompass everything our sacral
(06:48):
chakra stands for.
I remember and this was backwhen I lived in Abilene, texas,
and I had been asked to come inand do a presentation for
superintendents there in Abilene.
I forget why.
It was about play, but it was.
(07:08):
The whole presentation wasabout play and as I was setting
up for the presentation, I put abunch of toys on each table and
you know they were little handtoys.
They weren't big toys, theywere just small toys that you
could fidget with with yourhands or whatever.
And I can remember as theysettled in and the presentation
(07:31):
continued and I was talkingabout all sacral chakra stuff.
I tell you these men and womenwho came in so businesslike and
you know their ties, tight andstuffed shirt for lack of a
better word they let loose andtoys were flying through the air
and giggling was happening andthey were having the best time
(07:54):
because they chose to tap intothat inner child and let all the
scripted crap go and just bepresent and play.
It was.
That was one of my favoritepresentations.
That was so fun to watch thathappen.
See y'all, everyone needs toknow how to be creative and
embrace their sexual energy andlove the mess.
(08:18):
We've got to ditch the shame.
Shame has no place in our lives.
That's some old schema thatwe've got to release.
We've got to embrace all thatlife has to offer.
And y'all, I promise, afterbeing a therapist for 30 years
and living 61 years of life, Ipromise it's going to come with
(08:42):
a mess.
What are you going to make thatmess mean?
See, there's your power.
There's where those superpowermodels come in, because you got
to change what we're making thatmess mean?
No, we haven't done anythingwrong.
No, it's nothing to be ashamedabout.
It's called life.
(09:06):
Creativity is your ability totranscend traditional rules and
shift to new, meaningful ideasthat ooze authenticity.
Stepping into your authenticself, you're able.
(09:26):
See, that's what a sacralbalance sacral is going to do
for you, and we'll work on yourthroat when we get there where
real authenticity lives as well.
But being able to balance thatsacral chakra, embrace the
messiness of play and sexualenergy and emotions, that gives
(09:46):
you some oomph.
That gives you some life whereyou thrive, some life where you
thrive.
Okay, before I take you to theactivity I have planned for you
this week, I just want to remindyou to please hop over to my
website, juliemerrimanphdcom,sign up for my newsletter, to
(10:08):
get on my email list so I cansend you the weekly email with
these podcasts and PDFs that Icreate for you.
Also, while you're there, itwould not hurt my feelings if
you picked up a copy of my bookIn Pursuit of Soul Joy, where I
take a deep dive on all thesethings I talked to you about on
the podcast.
Okay, so the activity I havefor you this week I call it
(10:36):
sacral chakra balancingstrategies Very, very original.
So I'm going to take youthrough some strategies.
I've got these all lined out ona PDF if you sign up to get
these, but I here, I'm going towalk you through it right here.
So first, you've got to getcreative.
(10:57):
How often do you make space inyour life for creativity that
has absolutely no end goal, justjoyful creativity that isn't
related to your job?
Right, it's got to be bothmessy and beautiful.
Just go get creative.
(11:17):
Next, because the sacral chakrais a water chakra.
I didn't say that just right,but water has a lot to do with
that chakra.
So the next thing I'm going toinvite you to do is spend some
time in water.
Take a luxurious warm bubblebath, sit near water while
(11:42):
you're meditating, journaling orsimply sitting in silence.
Then I invite you to try somemirror work.
Stand in front of a mirror andlook yourself in the eyes.
Bring a gentle smile to yourlips as you're looking yourself
(12:03):
in the eyes, start complimentingyourself.
Affirm all the things you loveabout yourself, both inside and
out, and, when you're done, lookyourself in the eyes and tell
yourself I love you.
Your amygdala needs to hearthat.
(12:28):
Next dance Dancing allows energyto flow freely throughout your
body.
Put on your favorite music, setthe mood, turn off lights,
light candles.
Change into clothes that makeyou feel your best and dance
your ass off.
This includes moves thatconnect your hips and lower
(12:53):
abdomen to stimulate the energyin and around your sacral chakra
.
And this is a really good one.
Write a letter to your innerchild.
Affirm to this part of you thatit's safe to be creative.
Tell your inner childeverything he or she needs to
(13:17):
hear regarding play, fun,creativity, sexuality, joy,
emotions, build self-esteem.
Was there something you alwayswished an adult would tell you?
Tell yourself this now in thisletter.
(13:43):
Next, I've got a few journalprompts.
I'm not going to read them allthere's more on the PDF, if you
get that but I'm going to startwith.
What can I do in my daily lifeto add more opportunities for
messy play.
How do I feel when I get toexpress my creativity?
(14:04):
What are some creativeactivities I've always wanted to
try but never have?
And the last one what brings mejoy?
In what ways is my life filledwith joy?
(14:25):
Again, there's more on theworksheet, on the PDF, if you
sign up for my email list.
If you sign up for my emaillist Next, I would invite you to
try colored therapy.
Now, the sacral chakra is ruledby orange, so you can eat all
things orange, orange foods,orange Kool-Aid I'm struggling
(14:51):
to think of orange stuff butcarrots, eat anything you can
think of orange.
Wear orange clothing, surroundyourself in orange items when
you're writing, use an orangepen.
Wear a piece of jewelry thathas an orange gemstone.
Say an uplifting sacral chakraaffirmation every time you touch
(15:24):
or see the item.
And finally, drink tea, jasminetea, teas with ginger, orange
peel, cinnamon, clove, cardamom.
Those are going to nourish yoursoul as well, and that's an
important component when we'retrying to balance that sacral
chakra, so we can get more intouch with our playfulness, our
joyfulness, our sexual energy,our emotions, all those things
(15:49):
that the balanced sacral chakraleads to.
Okay, very, very, very cool.
We've gone over quite a fewthings there.
I hope you do sign up for thenewsletter so I can get you this
PDF, but meanwhile I would justsay that's it for today.
(16:10):
Subscribe to the podcastwherever you listen and until
next time take care of you.
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
SoulJoy.
Today let's explore sexy,creative and messy.
I believe these are reallynecessary components of holistic
, sustainable self-care, alsoknown as wellness.
(00:24):
Okay, friend, thank you so muchfor tuning in today this
episode.
I hope you find some nuggetsthat are pretty.
Nuggets that are prettyrelatable is the word that comes
(00:47):
to my head, but I don't know ifthat's the right word.
But today we're going toexplore um, sexy, creative and
messy.
Before we get there, I want totalk to you about all the baby
calves running around in ourpastures.
Oh, my Lanta, they are so cute.
(01:08):
They're frolicking, it's alittle cooler, so their tails
are up in the air and they'rejumping around.
That.
When we talk about playfulnessand I'm going to talk about that
in a bit that to me is just theepitome of playfulness, when
those little guys are out thereplaying and I love to just sit
in my rocker yeah, I got arocker on that back porch and
(01:30):
watch them, and it is justjoyful.
So, as y'all know, this podcastis designed for professional
helpers.
I want to help you overcome theoccupational hazards of this
field.
We chose and we specificallylook at burnout, vicarious
trauma and compassion, fatigueAll the things I talk about in
(01:53):
this podcast have everything todo with those when we can get
sustainable, holistic self-carein place that equates wellness
and that helps us offset thosecomponents burnout, compassion,
fatigue and trauma vicarioustrauma.
Okay, so the last I don't knowfour or five episodes we have
(02:18):
spent looking at our root chakra, talked about some really
important things there.
Today we're moving on up to thesacral chakra, and this y'all
is where our energy forcreativity, sexuality and
emotions live.
So years and years and years ago, way back in 1974, my parents
(02:44):
were going through a prettynasty divorce and I was sent to
Arizona to live with mygreat-grandmother and you know,
looking back, that was truly ablessing.
I'm the only one of the kidsthat ever got to go live with
her and get to know her like Idid.
She single-handedly taught methe importance of accepting
(03:07):
creativity, sexuality andemotions Maybe not in those
exact words, but just in whatall the stories she told me
about our family and how she hadlived her life.
See great-grandmother Wade.
Not only was she Clyde Barrowof Bonnie and Clyde's cousin, I
(03:28):
mean, she was from the Metroplexhere in Texas but when she
married my great-grandfather,they moved away from Fort Worth
to live on a dairy in San Saba,texas.
Now they were creating thedairy.
So they got some cows andstarted to build this dairy out
in San Saba and if anyone isfamiliar with San Saba that's a
(03:51):
bad area to try and put in adairy.
And you know it was the early1900s and we didn't have all the
luxuries that we have now.
So great-grandmother used hercreative energies to make sure
her family was fed and loved.
She remembered those hard times, as she told me about them in
(04:13):
74 with joy.
And she was able to keep thather sacral chakra balanced
because she tapped into thecreativity and sexuality and her
emotions.
So she wasn't just living thisflatline life, she was living a
(04:36):
very dimensionally,three-dimensional life, because
I believe our life would beterribly flat without having a
balanced sacral chakra.
Can you imagine a world withoutcreativity or sexual energy or
emotions?
It'd just be a world not veryfun to live in.
(04:58):
You know I'm a registered playtherapist.
I'm trained a lot of things butfor years I just focused on
play therapy and not necessarilywith kids.
I used it in my couplescounseling.
I used it in a lot ofmodalities.
But as I studied that andpracticed that, I've learned the
importance of play and I thinkplay encompasses sexual energy
(05:23):
and creativity and emotions.
I mean you think of time withyour lover and the playfulness
there.
Or you think of time whereyou're creating.
A long time ago I was a drillteam director and I used to love
to create their costumes and Iwould just get lost in those
(05:44):
creations and thinking aboutemotions.
It's something we run from.
But until we get to handle ouremotions and sit our asses down
and feel what we need to feel,we will not have a balanced
chakra and it robs us of play,because play has a lot of joy in
(06:05):
it and that's an emotion.
I think what has happened is weget too damn busy adulting and
we forget how necessary theyumminess of play is.
It can take all forms, playthat is.
You know, maybe they're toysyou're playing with.
(06:27):
Maybe you're going on walks,maybe you're just sitting
outside throwing the toy foryour pooch to play.
Maybe you're watching thecalves frolic on the other side
of the fence.
Play can take all forms.
The thing about play is it'sunscripted and it's joyful.
So you see how that canencompass everything our sacral
(06:48):
chakra stands for.
I remember and this was backwhen I lived in Abilene, texas,
and I had been asked to come inand do a presentation for
superintendents there in Abilene.
I forget why.
It was about play, but it was.
(07:08):
The whole presentation wasabout play and as I was setting
up for the presentation, I put abunch of toys on each table and
you know they were little handtoys.
They weren't big toys, theywere just small toys that you
could fidget with with yourhands or whatever.
And I can remember as theysettled in and the presentation
(07:31):
continued and I was talkingabout all sacral chakra stuff.
I tell you these men and womenwho came in so businesslike and
you know their ties, tight andstuffed shirt for lack of a
better word they let loose andtoys were flying through the air
and giggling was happening andthey were having the best time
(07:54):
because they chose to tap intothat inner child and let all the
scripted crap go and just bepresent and play.
It was.
That was one of my favoritepresentations.
That was so fun to watch thathappen.
See y'all, everyone needs toknow how to be creative and
embrace their sexual energy andlove the mess.
(08:18):
We've got to ditch the shame.
Shame has no place in our lives.
That's some old schema thatwe've got to release.
We've got to embrace all thatlife has to offer.
And y'all, I promise, afterbeing a therapist for 30 years
and living 61 years of life, Ipromise it's going to come with
(08:42):
a mess.
What are you going to make thatmess mean?
See, there's your power.
There's where those superpowermodels come in, because you got
to change what we're making thatmess mean?
No, we haven't done anythingwrong.
No, it's nothing to be ashamedabout.
It's called life.
(09:06):
Creativity is your ability totranscend traditional rules and
shift to new, meaningful ideasthat ooze authenticity.
Stepping into your authenticself, you're able.
(09:26):
See, that's what a sacralbalance sacral is going to do
for you, and we'll work on yourthroat when we get there where
real authenticity lives as well.
But being able to balance thatsacral chakra, embrace the
messiness of play and sexualenergy and emotions, that gives
(09:46):
you some oomph.
That gives you some life whereyou thrive, some life where you
thrive.
Okay, before I take you to theactivity I have planned for you
this week, I just want to remindyou to please hop over to my
website, juliemerrimanphdcom,sign up for my newsletter, to
(10:08):
get on my email list so I cansend you the weekly email with
these podcasts and PDFs that Icreate for you.
Also, while you're there, itwould not hurt my feelings if
you picked up a copy of my bookIn Pursuit of Soul Joy, where I
take a deep dive on all thesethings I talked to you about on
the podcast.
Okay, so the activity I havefor you this week I call it
(10:36):
sacral chakra balancingstrategies Very, very original.
So I'm going to take youthrough some strategies.
I've got these all lined out ona PDF if you sign up to get
these, but I here, I'm going towalk you through it right here.
So first, you've got to getcreative.
(10:57):
How often do you make space inyour life for creativity that
has absolutely no end goal, justjoyful creativity that isn't
related to your job?
Right, it's got to be bothmessy and beautiful.
Just go get creative.
(11:17):
Next, because the sacral chakrais a water chakra.
I didn't say that just right,but water has a lot to do with
that chakra.
So the next thing I'm going toinvite you to do is spend some
time in water.
Take a luxurious warm bubblebath, sit near water while
(11:42):
you're meditating, journaling orsimply sitting in silence.
Then I invite you to try somemirror work.
Stand in front of a mirror andlook yourself in the eyes.
Bring a gentle smile to yourlips as you're looking yourself
(12:03):
in the eyes, start complimentingyourself.
Affirm all the things you loveabout yourself, both inside and
out, and, when you're done, lookyourself in the eyes and tell
yourself I love you.
Your amygdala needs to hearthat.
(12:28):
Next dance Dancing allows energyto flow freely throughout your
body.
Put on your favorite music, setthe mood, turn off lights,
light candles.
Change into clothes that makeyou feel your best and dance
your ass off.
This includes moves thatconnect your hips and lower
(12:53):
abdomen to stimulate the energyin and around your sacral chakra
.
And this is a really good one.
Write a letter to your innerchild.
Affirm to this part of you thatit's safe to be creative.
Tell your inner childeverything he or she needs to
(13:17):
hear regarding play, fun,creativity, sexuality, joy,
emotions, build self-esteem.
Was there something you alwayswished an adult would tell you?
Tell yourself this now in thisletter.
(13:43):
Next, I've got a few journalprompts.
I'm not going to read them allthere's more on the PDF, if you
get that but I'm going to startwith.
What can I do in my daily lifeto add more opportunities for
messy play.
How do I feel when I get toexpress my creativity?
(14:04):
What are some creativeactivities I've always wanted to
try but never have?
And the last one what brings mejoy?
In what ways is my life filledwith joy?
(14:25):
Again, there's more on theworksheet, on the PDF, if you
sign up for my email list.
If you sign up for my emaillist Next, I would invite you to
try colored therapy.
Now, the sacral chakra is ruledby orange, so you can eat all
things orange, orange foods,orange Kool-Aid I'm struggling
(14:51):
to think of orange stuff butcarrots, eat anything you can
think of orange.
Wear orange clothing, surroundyourself in orange items when
you're writing, use an orangepen.
Wear a piece of jewelry thathas an orange gemstone.
Say an uplifting sacral chakraaffirmation every time you touch
(15:24):
or see the item.
And finally, drink tea, jasminetea, teas with ginger, orange
peel, cinnamon, clove, cardamom.
Those are going to nourish yoursoul as well, and that's an
important component when we'retrying to balance that sacral
chakra, so we can get more intouch with our playfulness, our
joyfulness, our sexual energy,our emotions, all those things
(15:49):
that the balanced sacral chakraleads to.
Okay, very, very, very cool.
We've gone over quite a fewthings there.
I hope you do sign up for thenewsletter so I can get you this
PDF, but meanwhile I would justsay that's it for today.
(16:10):
Subscribe to the podcastwherever you listen and until
next time take care of you.
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