June 16, 2025 • 29 mins
Ever wonder why some days you can't find the right words—or courage—to express how you really feel? The answer might lie in your throat chakra.
Dr. Julie Merriman takes us on a deeply personal journey through her decades-long struggle with authentic communication. Beginning with her childhood abandonment when her mother left with a rock band in the 1970s, she reveals how early rejection created patterns of conflict avoidance and people-pleasing that blocked her throat chakra for years. This energy center, located at the base of the throat, governs not just how we speak, but our ability to express our authentic selves in every interaction.
The consequences of a blocked throat chakra extend far beyond occasional awkward conversations. For helping professionals especially, an inability to express needs and boundaries directly contributes to burnout, compassion fatigue, and vicarious trauma. Through vivid descriptions and honest self-reflection, Dr. Merriman connects physical symptoms like recurring strep throat with energetic blockages, demonstrating how our bodies often manifest what our spirits cannot express.
What makes this episode particularly valuable are the practical, accessible techniques offered for balancing your throat chakra. From simple practices like chanting "hum," wearing blue clothing, and mindful breathing to deeper work identifying core values and clarifying your life's purpose, these tools require nothing but commitment to your own authenticity. Dr. Merriman's approach blends traditional chakra healing with modern therapeutic understanding, creating a holistic pathway to finding your voice.
Ready to speak your truth? Subscribe to Soul Joy wherever you listen to podcasts, and visit juliemerrimanphd.com to sign up for weekly emails with bonus materials that complement each episode. Your journey toward authentic communication—and the soul joy that comes with it—begins with a single honest word.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
SoulJoy.
This week we are stillexploring the throat chakra,
although I took a littlesabbatical, but we're still
hanging on to that throat chakra.
We're taking a deep dive intoauthentic communication because
this is a very necessarycomponent of holistic,
(00:24):
sustainable self-care.
All right, hey you, how is itgoing?
Like I said, it's been just ahot minute.
I took a little sabbatical,unplanned, but here I am back at
(00:46):
the microphone, so welcome.
I appreciate you taking a hotminute to hang out with me and
allow me to chat about somethingnear and dear to my heart, and
that is preventing burnout,compassion, fatigue and
vicarious trauma in the helpingprofession and really for
(01:11):
everybody, because that impactseverybody.
But before we get to the topictoday and today we're really
going to take a deep dive intofinding the courage to use your
authentic voice.
But before we get there, I'mreally excited.
My beloved and I are preparingfor our 30th wedding anniversary
(01:32):
.
Y'all, I remember meeting him.
I mean, it seems like yesterday.
I've never been so bowled overand brought to my knees by
meeting a man in my life.
It stands to reason that we arestill together and still very
much in love.
But for the 30th anniversary.
(01:55):
My beloved is slipping into atux and I am slipping into my
original wedding dress and we'regoing to do a quick vow renewal
.
And Sarah Seaton, myphotographer, check out my
website.
She has been my go-to gal forquite a few years now, whenever
I need a photo shoot, but thisextraordinary photographer is
(02:17):
going to do a photo shoot of ourvow renewal, which is really
fun.
Cliffy, my oldest, he's.
He lives in Montana.
He's not going to be able tomake it, but Blaker's my
youngest who will be here.
And the two boys stood up withus.
When we got married, they wereour two attendants.
So, anyway, I'm very excitedabout this.
We're gonna do our quick vowrenewal and then we're gonna hop
(02:40):
on the tractor, which we did.
The first time we left thechurch in a tractor, and this
time we're leaving the church ina tractor, coming back to the
ranch for a nice little barbecuewith our original wedding party
.
Everyone's still around andit's just going to be such a
blessing.
So I'm really excited aboutthat.
So that's what's going on inthe Merriman world this week.
(03:01):
So okay, professional helpers,this podcast is dedicated to
preventing and overcoming theoccupational hazards of this
career that we've chosen, as Imentioned, burnout, compassion,
fatigue and vicarious trauma.
And, as I also mentioned, I'vetaken a hot sabbatical, so this
(03:21):
podcast could be a little bitlonger than usual.
So I'm hunkered down and herewe go.
I have been working ondeveloping my voice through
working on my throat chakra.
Now this has been going on fora number of years, but it's
always an evolution.
Let me begin with how I came todo this and then, as we
(03:47):
progress, we'll go into the why.
So I'm going to take you into mystory of rejection Now.
I'm very raw and honest withy'all.
This is not a pity party, as mydaddy would say, by any means.
This is just an honestobservation of my life and you
know why I'm doing what I'mdoing right this minute.
So it's a personal story, but Ishare it in the hopes that it
(04:12):
inspires you and helps you tocurate your authentic voice.
So, way back when I was 10, 51years ago, good Lord, my mom my
mom is still with me.
I love her.
She's a hot mess and we seeeach other.
(04:34):
We talk daily and see eachother weekly, but mom took off
with a rock and roll band backin the 70s.
It was a different time y'all.
Without sharing the personaldetails of my mom's stories and
struggles, as that is not mineto tell, suffice it to say that
at an early age I experiencedultimate rejection.
(04:56):
My own mom gave up on me so itfelt.
Now there's a lot more to thatstory.
If you read my book Soul Joy, Italk about that some because it
impacted me.
I mean it's who I am, it's partof my story.
Now, please know, I believe inMama's own way she wanted the
(05:17):
best for me and did what she didbecause she believed it would
be best for me.
But I didn't understand thatback then.
I didn't know.
But being abandoned by theperson I trusted the most set me
on a path of great independenceand really distrust y'all.
(05:40):
I mean the independence wasn'tlike it's a good thing.
I learned not to trust others.
If I wanted something done, Ibelieved I had to do it myself
because I decided I couldn'ttrust anyone but me.
I promised myself that I wouldtake care of things myself
before I'd allow anyone else tohurt me.
So I know that sounds a littlesad, but I mean it all is
(06:03):
evolving and I believe it makesme a better therapist.
But this became, if you believein narrative therapy.
It became a story, my story, ifyou will, and avoiding conflict
was a tool.
That became a tool for me.
I already had a propensity toavoid conflict, but now that
(06:26):
became a very important tool.
If I didn't speak up and Ididn't cause conflict, then
chances were I wouldn't berejected right, especially by my
family.
I learned to suppress my voice.
You'll see where this might begoing.
I'm sure you've worked withclients like this, or, if you're
not in the helping field, youhave your own story.
(06:47):
I mean, none of us have come toadulthood without some
rejection in our life.
So I was not outspoken and Iwas very hard on myself and in
not being outspoken when otherpeople took offense at something
I said or did.
Now this followed me.
I'm not just 10 as I'm talkingabout this.
(07:07):
This followed me into adulthood, into my 30s even.
But if someone took offense atwhat I did or said, I took it
personally to the point where Imight brood for days.
Now I wouldn't be overt in this, it would would be very covert,
I would go inside, but I'dnever address the offended
(07:30):
either.
So I wouldn't address how Imight feel offended, I just
wouldn't talk about it.
Right, I would deny it, runaway from it, dissociate from it
.
And this was out of fear.
I would suppress it all.
Out of fear, I would suppressit all.
I did everything I could,subconsciously, to try to make
(07:50):
everyone like me right.
If they like me, they're notgoing to leave me.
I wanted to avoid thatrejection and abandonment at all
costs.
Well, I'm not going to editthat out, but I got an unknown
caller.
Well, I'm not going to editthat out, but I got an unknown
caller.
So, anyway, I did everything Icould to avoid being rejected
(08:16):
and I could make most of mypeers.
I couldn't make folksunderstand what I was doing.
Hell, I didn't understand whatI was doing.
It was just a time of, you know, I just lived in a lot of fear
of being rejected.
I don't know if any of y'allcan relate to that, but in doing
all this, I became relentlesslyhard on myself, pushing myself
(08:38):
when, let's say, I was sickbecause I had strep throat quite
a bit.
Going back to my childhoodafter mama had left, I did.
I had strep throat quite a bitup until my teens.
A blocked throat chakra, whichis what I was experiencing, will
(09:00):
lead to things like strepthroat.
It was an extraordinarilysymbolic episode of my
suppressed voice, the strepthroat.
As I went through my therapytraining starting in 1994, I
realized that all of this stuffthat I had gone through early my
(09:23):
story started early, we all doright Contributed to a wholly
blocked throat chakra and y'allI'm going to tell you that's a
miserable energy to live withthat stuck throat chakra, and
I've worked with a lot ofclients over the years and I'm
not an outlier.
A lot of us walk around with acemented throat chakra, if you
(09:47):
will, and that causes a lot ofour energies to bottleneck right
.
If you think about our throat,it gets small right there and a
lot of things get stuck in thatthroat chakra and then you
exacerbate that by fear ofabandonment or rejection.
I mean you're setting yourselfup for burnout, compassion,
(10:07):
fatigue, vicarious trauma andjust unhappiness.
So please know, if you have adeveloped throat chakra, you are
a masterful communicator, bothverbally and non-verbally.
You know your purpose.
How beautiful is that.
You're a creator in the artsand you know, as I always tell
(10:35):
my students that I'm training tobe therapists counseling is an
art with science.
Our theories are our science,but there's a lot of art that
goes with counseling your gutinstincts and just how you
deliver things.
But with a reallywell-developed, balanced throat
chakra, you're in your artistryand, more importantly, we're not
only a good communicator.
The other side of that coin iswe're a good listener.
(10:56):
All things needed in thehelping profession right.
Be a good communicator, be agood listener.
A developed throat chakra isgoing to help you prevent the
burnout and the compassionfatigue because you're getting
your needs met.
You're speaking up, see.
(11:18):
An open throat chakra allows youto speak your truth, albeit in
a way that is inviting and nothurtful.
This is also the gateway chakrato eliciting the rise of
kundalini, the coiled serpent ofenergy that rises from the base
of our spines and flows up toour crown chakra.
(11:40):
That's all yoga stuff.
Look it up.
Some great YouTubes take akundalini yoga class.
Release some of that energy.
We are energy beings and thisstuff is real.
A blocked throat chakra, on theother hand, if you don't have
(12:01):
that open throat chakra, youmight talk a lot but you don't
say a lot of things that aretruly meaningful, or you might
not listen.
Well, I don't know if you'vebeen around folks that just blah
, blah, blah, blah they.
They will take 30 minutes tosay something that could have
been said succinctly.
(12:22):
Two minutes, that is a blockedthroat chakra.
And with a blocked throatchakra, silence might make you
really nervous, and so youovercompensate by talking more.
I recognize myself there.
Y'all, I used to be more likethat.
(12:43):
Over the years my throat chakrahas gotten balanced and that's
not so much the case.
But I can remember being Iremember in high school when, my
god, I went to like eight, ninedifferent high schools in three
years.
I graduated my junior year andI can remember every time I'd
show up at a school I'd be soflipping nervous.
I would just, you know, just,brah, just be talking all the
(13:04):
time.
Um, imbalanced throat chakra,you know, just be talking all
the time.
Imbalanced throat chakra.
A blocked throat chakra meansthat you might have issues with
your throat or mouth, perhapsthyroid disease.
I can think of some people inmy life that have had thyroid
disease and knowing them, thatmakes a lot of sense.
Mouth sores, dental issues,perhaps a loss of your voice
(13:29):
when experiencing a cold.
Other symptoms could includeacceptance and telling lies,
maybe participating in gossip.
There's a chance that perhapsyou have trouble expressing
yourself adequately, maybeyou're too harsh with words or
(13:49):
perhaps you, under you,underutilize words.
A blocked throat chakrainhibits you from expressing
yourself when you feel thatsomeone has done you wrong, or
even I mean and that's sad,because we have every right to
be heard and seen if we feellike we're hurt or if we feel
(14:13):
like we're joyful.
And a blocked throat chakra canget in the way of either of
those and y'all.
Again, it leaves you prone toburnout and compassion, fatigue
and vicarious trauma.
So how does the throat chakraimpact our authenticity?
Because that is one of thebiggest gifts we have to live in
(14:34):
, our true authenticity,completely and totally
comfortable in your skin.
You know, and not given a flyand flip, what others think of
you.
And I'm again back to if yourthroat chakra is balanced,
you're not going to be crass andrude.
That's not what I'm talkingabout at all.
(14:54):
I'm talking about releasingwith love.
If you don't like what you'reseeing here with me, it's okay.
I'm going to release you withlove because there's lots of
other places for you to be andme to be.
If someone is your people, ifthose are your peeps, things are
going to resonate.
(15:14):
So here's how the throat chakraimpacts authenticity,
communication and expression.
Right, the throat chakra is thecenter of our ability to speak
our truth, express our emotionsand communicate our needs.
It's going to impact yourself-awareness.
A balanced throat chakraencourages self-awareness.
(15:36):
This allows you to connect withyour inner truth and express
your authenticity in a veryauthentic way.
You've been around people thataren't living in their
authenticity and express yourauthenticity in a very authentic
way.
You've been around people thataren't living in their
authenticity.
I mean, I know I can just feelit.
When I'm around someone that'sbeing fake and not being
(15:58):
authentic and genuine, I getuncomfortable.
My skin feels creepy crawly.
I just cannot relax around thisperson.
There's a fear of speaking.
When our throat chakra is notbalanced, it can manifest as a
fear of speaking out.
It can manifest as socialanxiety, difficulty in
(16:20):
expressing our thoughts clearly.
It can impact authenticrelationships, because the
ability to communicateauthentically is crucial for
forming genuine connections andbuilding strong relationships.
So these are very importantthings to the essence of our
(16:40):
life and balancing, getting thatthroat chakra unblocked and
balanced is eminently important.
I work very hard with my clientson their throat chakra
balancing because I know howimportant that is to everything
else we're working on.
So grab my book if you want toknow more.
(17:03):
Book an appointment with me ifyou want to work on some things
my book, if you want to knowmore.
Book an appointment with me ifyou want to work on some things.
And I'm going to invite you tosubscribe to my email list to
get the weekly podcast emailedto you, which includes the bonus
PDF that I create for you eachweek.
All you have to do is hop onover to my website,
wwwjuliemerrimanphdcom.
(17:26):
Sign up for that email list.
I've also got all my counselingstuff on that and I've got a
link to the book.
Okay, that's my commercial.
Let's go on to the activity thatI've created for you to help
you balance that throat chakra.
Okay, so I'm going to take abig drink of water here.
I want you all to getcomfortable and remember we're
(17:50):
talking about that throat chakra.
The color is blue.
That goes with the throat.
Um, I want you to just take abig, deep breath and exhale and
just get centered.
Just envision blue radiatingaround your throat as I'm
talking about this activity.
Okay, so, finding the courage touse your authentic voice.
(18:14):
To find that authentic voice,you have to reflect on your core
values, strengths and passions.
You want to align your voicewith these elements to ensure
that you are leading your lifeauthentically and staying true
to who you are.
(18:34):
And you're not going to knowwho you are if you haven't taken
time to reflect on your corevalues, strengths and passions.
So let's park here just a hotminute.
So let's park here just a hotminute to deeply reflect on your
core values.
This means these core values,rather, are the fundamental
(18:54):
beliefs that guide yourdecisions and your actions.
Consider your inherent strengthsNow.
These are the talents andcapabilities that come naturally
to you and enable you to excel,and I would invite you that
bring you joy.
It doesn't rob you of energywhen you're in these strengths,
(19:16):
it energizes you and brings joy.
And in exploring your passions,y'all these are the activities
and subjects, again, that igniteyour enthusiasm and drive, just
like the strengths.
When you're in these passions,you're energized.
(19:37):
Right Time just flies.
You're in the zone.
It's important to stay in touchwith these elements.
I think we get too busy doinglife and forget to focus on
things that help us be in lifethe being.
We're so busy with the doing so, the more we are in our
(20:02):
authenticity, the more we'regoing to be in our being.
See, when your voice is alignedwith these foundational
elements, your authentic voicefeels genuine and stems from a
place of deep conviction,allowing you to remain steadfast
in the principles that are trueto you.
(20:23):
And have you taken the time toreally do that?
You know, I'm in my 60s.
I'm really aware that maybeI've got 20, 30 more years to do
all the things I want to do.
I mean, yesterday I was in my20s and it seemed like I had
forever to get things done.
(20:44):
I'm hyper aware of trying tolive in my passion and find
those sparks so that I can be inmy authenticity.
Do that for yourself now.
I don't care how old you are.
I don't care if you're in your80s I mean, we are never too old
to be in our passions and dothe things that really bring us
(21:09):
joy so we can live out of ourauthenticity.
And taking this a bit deeper,in your authentic voice you well
, when you're to be in authenticvoice, you want to carefully
craft a message that clearlyarticulates the impact you
(21:35):
aspire to create in the world.
So that looks like this whatpositive change do you want to
inspire?
It doesn't have to be mountainmoving.
It could be like I want mygoats to have the best alfalfa
around.
I mean whatever.
Just know that for yourself.
What difference do you hope tomake in the lives of others or
(21:58):
within your sphere of influence?
By defining your desired impact, you provide a clear direction
for your communication, andthat's powerful.
You need to take the time toexplicitly clarify what you
(22:20):
stand for.
What principles arenon-negotiable for you?
What values will consistentlyinform the messages you convey?
Articulating your beliefs withconviction will establish trust
and y'all it allows others tounderstand your perspective.
(22:43):
Trust and y'all it allowsothers to understand your
perspective.
Don't you respect people thatyou know where they're coming
from?
I'm sure you've been around thatreally authentic person that
just inspires you.
You can do this for you and yousimply have to ask yourself
what knowledge, inspiration orcall to action do you wish to
(23:04):
impart?
By focusing on the value youoffer to others, your message
will become more relevant andimpactful, fostering a really
deeper connection.
So that's very true of theclients we might be serving.
(23:25):
It's very true of our family,the people who are our friends.
But, most importantly, it's aquestion to take to yourself and
really think what am I doingwith my life?
Am I living in my authenticity?
Let me truly reflect on thesequestions and see what I want my
voice to sound like, becauseyour voice creates your life.
(23:50):
I mean, that's your thoughtsand what you're putting out in
the world and that's where youmanifest and it comes back to
you.
So these are important thingsto really consider.
So, these are important thingsto really consider.
Okay, so what can you do,besides what we talked about
these questions, to open yourthroat chakra?
What are some techniques andactivities?
(24:10):
Well, I would invite you tojoin a Toastmasters Club.
Learn to speak in front ofpeople and set aside judgment.
Okay, meditate.
Of course you can meditate onopening your chakras.
You can find specific throatchakra music or guided
(24:35):
meditations online.
I find YouTube to be a greatresource.
Chanting Related to meditatingis this thing called chanting,
and I've talked to you all aboutthis before.
The word hum aligns with theenergy of the throat.
If you do that long enough, youcan really feel the energies
break loose.
You can repeat this mantra as ameditation, or you can adopt it
(24:56):
into your daily life as anaffirmation.
Hum it to yourself as you gothrough the day.
Sing Singing in general isreally good for you.
All of us are drawn to music ina way that resonates more
powerfully than spoken speech.
Think about when the right songcomes on, girl man.
(25:20):
It can just change your wholeday.
This is a great way to openyour throat chakra.
So sing your little heart out.
If you don't want others tohear you do it alone in the car,
hop in the shower.
I'm, I'm relentless.
My kids, when they were littlethey were so cute well, really
being smart asses, but they'recute.
(25:40):
Looking back, um, I remembercliff going mom, mom who sings
that song and I might say, oh,the beatles, he'd go well.
Well then, let them sing it.
I love to sing, um, and it'snot always on key, but yeah,
it's okay.
Use your voice.
And that's my next thing.
Use your voice if you knowyou're gonna need to um, perform
(26:00):
or something you know you'regoing to need to perform or
something you're going to have ahard conversation.
Practice beforehand, stand infront of the mirror and rehearse
.
Practice can help you come upwith a diplomatic and helpful
way of saying things rather thancoming across as crass or
hurtful.
(26:21):
And y'all, wear more blue, wearmore turquoise haze.
I know it's when I'm recordingthis.
It's summer here in Texas, andsummer is when I break out my
turquoise Love turquoise andthose hues are great for your
throat.
When you wear a certain colorthat amplifies a particular
(26:44):
chakra color, that's a goodthing and, as I said, the
turquoise color blue happens tobe tied to your throat, so wear
some turquoise around your neck.
Okay, I mentioned affirmationsa little bit, but affirmations
are very important for all kindsof things, but as you're trying
(27:08):
to really live out of yourauthentic self, repeating
positive affirmations, focusingon self-expression and
communication, can reprogramsome of those negative thought
patterns and encourageauthenticity.
Mindful breathing I've beendoing this before.
I knew it was even thing I canremember at four or five years
(27:30):
old mindfully breathing, tryingto work through something.
But mindful breathing,practicing this, can help calm
the nerves nervous system andcreate space for more open and
authentic communication.
And just a couple of morelistening.
We talked about that.
(27:50):
The throat chakra y'all isabout active listening as much
as it is about active speaking,and this is equally important
for understanding ourself andothers.
And then, finally, identifyingand releasing behaviors and
(28:13):
thoughts that are not supportingwell-being can help clear
blockages in the throat chakra.
How beautiful is that?
Okay, everything we talkedabout, friends, everything we
talked about and gonna cost youa penny.
All it cost you is time, whichI know that's probably the most
expensive currency there is, butthe more time you spend on
(28:36):
yourself, the more authenticallyyou're gonna live and the more
comfortable you're gonna be inyour skin.
Authentically you're going tolive and the more comfortable
you're going to be in your skin,which brings soul joy, and
that's what I wish for everyoneSoul joy.
So okay, all righty.
That is it for today.
Subscribe to my podcastwherever you listen.
(28:56):
No-transcript.
Hi y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
SoulJoy.
This week we are stillexploring the throat chakra,
although I took a littlesabbatical, but we're still
hanging on to that throat chakra.
We're taking a deep dive intoauthentic communication because
this is a very necessarycomponent of holistic,
(00:24):
sustainable self-care.
All right, hey you, how is itgoing?
Like I said, it's been just ahot minute.
I took a little sabbatical,unplanned, but here I am back at
(00:46):
the microphone, so welcome.
I appreciate you taking a hotminute to hang out with me and
allow me to chat about somethingnear and dear to my heart, and
that is preventing burnout,compassion, fatigue and
vicarious trauma in the helpingprofession and really for
(01:11):
everybody, because that impactseverybody.
But before we get to the topictoday and today we're really
going to take a deep dive intofinding the courage to use your
authentic voice.
But before we get there, I'mreally excited.
My beloved and I are preparingfor our 30th wedding anniversary
(01:32):
.
Y'all, I remember meeting him.
I mean, it seems like yesterday.
I've never been so bowled overand brought to my knees by
meeting a man in my life.
It stands to reason that we arestill together and still very
much in love.
But for the 30th anniversary.
(01:55):
My beloved is slipping into atux and I am slipping into my
original wedding dress and we'regoing to do a quick vow renewal
.
And Sarah Seaton, myphotographer, check out my
website.
She has been my go-to gal forquite a few years now, whenever
I need a photo shoot, but thisextraordinary photographer is
(02:17):
going to do a photo shoot of ourvow renewal, which is really
fun.
Cliffy, my oldest, he's.
He lives in Montana.
He's not going to be able tomake it, but Blaker's my
youngest who will be here.
And the two boys stood up withus.
When we got married, they wereour two attendants.
So, anyway, I'm very excitedabout this.
We're gonna do our quick vowrenewal and then we're gonna hop
(02:40):
on the tractor, which we did.
The first time we left thechurch in a tractor, and this
time we're leaving the church ina tractor, coming back to the
ranch for a nice little barbecuewith our original wedding party
.
Everyone's still around andit's just going to be such a
blessing.
So I'm really excited aboutthat.
So that's what's going on inthe Merriman world this week.
(03:01):
So okay, professional helpers,this podcast is dedicated to
preventing and overcoming theoccupational hazards of this
career that we've chosen, as Imentioned, burnout, compassion,
fatigue and vicarious trauma.
And, as I also mentioned, I'vetaken a hot sabbatical, so this
(03:21):
podcast could be a little bitlonger than usual.
So I'm hunkered down and herewe go.
I have been working ondeveloping my voice through
working on my throat chakra.
Now this has been going on fora number of years, but it's
always an evolution.
Let me begin with how I came todo this and then, as we
(03:47):
progress, we'll go into the why.
So I'm going to take you into mystory of rejection Now.
I'm very raw and honest withy'all.
This is not a pity party, as mydaddy would say, by any means.
This is just an honestobservation of my life and you
know why I'm doing what I'mdoing right this minute.
So it's a personal story, but Ishare it in the hopes that it
(04:12):
inspires you and helps you tocurate your authentic voice.
So, way back when I was 10, 51years ago, good Lord, my mom my
mom is still with me.
I love her.
She's a hot mess and we seeeach other.
(04:34):
We talk daily and see eachother weekly, but mom took off
with a rock and roll band backin the 70s.
It was a different time y'all.
Without sharing the personaldetails of my mom's stories and
struggles, as that is not mineto tell, suffice it to say that
at an early age I experiencedultimate rejection.
(04:56):
My own mom gave up on me so itfelt.
Now there's a lot more to thatstory.
If you read my book Soul Joy, Italk about that some because it
impacted me.
I mean it's who I am, it's partof my story.
Now, please know, I believe inMama's own way she wanted the
(05:17):
best for me and did what she didbecause she believed it would
be best for me.
But I didn't understand thatback then.
I didn't know.
But being abandoned by theperson I trusted the most set me
on a path of great independenceand really distrust y'all.
(05:40):
I mean the independence wasn'tlike it's a good thing.
I learned not to trust others.
If I wanted something done, Ibelieved I had to do it myself
because I decided I couldn'ttrust anyone but me.
I promised myself that I wouldtake care of things myself
before I'd allow anyone else tohurt me.
So I know that sounds a littlesad, but I mean it all is
(06:03):
evolving and I believe it makesme a better therapist.
But this became, if you believein narrative therapy.
It became a story, my story, ifyou will, and avoiding conflict
was a tool.
That became a tool for me.
I already had a propensity toavoid conflict, but now that
(06:26):
became a very important tool.
If I didn't speak up and Ididn't cause conflict, then
chances were I wouldn't berejected right, especially by my
family.
I learned to suppress my voice.
You'll see where this might begoing.
I'm sure you've worked withclients like this, or, if you're
not in the helping field, youhave your own story.
(06:47):
I mean, none of us have come toadulthood without some
rejection in our life.
So I was not outspoken and Iwas very hard on myself and in
not being outspoken when otherpeople took offense at something
I said or did.
Now this followed me.
I'm not just 10 as I'm talkingabout this.
(07:07):
This followed me into adulthood, into my 30s even.
But if someone took offense atwhat I did or said, I took it
personally to the point where Imight brood for days.
Now I wouldn't be overt in this, it would would be very covert,
I would go inside, but I'dnever address the offended
(07:30):
either.
So I wouldn't address how Imight feel offended, I just
wouldn't talk about it.
Right, I would deny it, runaway from it, dissociate from it
.
And this was out of fear.
I would suppress it all.
Out of fear, I would suppressit all.
I did everything I could,subconsciously, to try to make
(07:50):
everyone like me right.
If they like me, they're notgoing to leave me.
I wanted to avoid thatrejection and abandonment at all
costs.
Well, I'm not going to editthat out, but I got an unknown
caller.
Well, I'm not going to editthat out, but I got an unknown
caller.
So, anyway, I did everything Icould to avoid being rejected
(08:16):
and I could make most of mypeers.
I couldn't make folksunderstand what I was doing.
Hell, I didn't understand whatI was doing.
It was just a time of, you know, I just lived in a lot of fear
of being rejected.
I don't know if any of y'allcan relate to that, but in doing
all this, I became relentlesslyhard on myself, pushing myself
(08:38):
when, let's say, I was sickbecause I had strep throat quite
a bit.
Going back to my childhoodafter mama had left, I did.
I had strep throat quite a bitup until my teens.
A blocked throat chakra, whichis what I was experiencing, will
(09:00):
lead to things like strepthroat.
It was an extraordinarilysymbolic episode of my
suppressed voice, the strepthroat.
As I went through my therapytraining starting in 1994, I
realized that all of this stuffthat I had gone through early my
(09:23):
story started early, we all doright Contributed to a wholly
blocked throat chakra and y'allI'm going to tell you that's a
miserable energy to live withthat stuck throat chakra, and
I've worked with a lot ofclients over the years and I'm
not an outlier.
A lot of us walk around with acemented throat chakra, if you
(09:47):
will, and that causes a lot ofour energies to bottleneck right
.
If you think about our throat,it gets small right there and a
lot of things get stuck in thatthroat chakra and then you
exacerbate that by fear ofabandonment or rejection.
I mean you're setting yourselfup for burnout, compassion,
(10:07):
fatigue, vicarious trauma andjust unhappiness.
So please know, if you have adeveloped throat chakra, you are
a masterful communicator, bothverbally and non-verbally.
You know your purpose.
How beautiful is that.
You're a creator in the artsand you know, as I always tell
(10:35):
my students that I'm training tobe therapists counseling is an
art with science.
Our theories are our science,but there's a lot of art that
goes with counseling your gutinstincts and just how you
deliver things.
But with a reallywell-developed, balanced throat
chakra, you're in your artistryand, more importantly, we're not
only a good communicator.
The other side of that coin iswe're a good listener.
(10:56):
All things needed in thehelping profession right.
Be a good communicator, be agood listener.
A developed throat chakra isgoing to help you prevent the
burnout and the compassionfatigue because you're getting
your needs met.
You're speaking up, see.
(11:18):
An open throat chakra allows youto speak your truth, albeit in
a way that is inviting and nothurtful.
This is also the gateway chakrato eliciting the rise of
kundalini, the coiled serpent ofenergy that rises from the base
of our spines and flows up toour crown chakra.
(11:40):
That's all yoga stuff.
Look it up.
Some great YouTubes take akundalini yoga class.
Release some of that energy.
We are energy beings and thisstuff is real.
A blocked throat chakra, on theother hand, if you don't have
(12:01):
that open throat chakra, youmight talk a lot but you don't
say a lot of things that aretruly meaningful, or you might
not listen.
Well, I don't know if you'vebeen around folks that just blah
, blah, blah, blah they.
They will take 30 minutes tosay something that could have
been said succinctly.
(12:22):
Two minutes, that is a blockedthroat chakra.
And with a blocked throatchakra, silence might make you
really nervous, and so youovercompensate by talking more.
I recognize myself there.
Y'all, I used to be more likethat.
(12:43):
Over the years my throat chakrahas gotten balanced and that's
not so much the case.
But I can remember being Iremember in high school when, my
god, I went to like eight, ninedifferent high schools in three
years.
I graduated my junior year andI can remember every time I'd
show up at a school I'd be soflipping nervous.
I would just, you know, just,brah, just be talking all the
(13:04):
time.
Um, imbalanced throat chakra,you know, just be talking all
the time.
Imbalanced throat chakra.
A blocked throat chakra meansthat you might have issues with
your throat or mouth, perhapsthyroid disease.
I can think of some people inmy life that have had thyroid
disease and knowing them, thatmakes a lot of sense.
Mouth sores, dental issues,perhaps a loss of your voice
(13:29):
when experiencing a cold.
Other symptoms could includeacceptance and telling lies,
maybe participating in gossip.
There's a chance that perhapsyou have trouble expressing
yourself adequately, maybeyou're too harsh with words or
(13:49):
perhaps you, under you,underutilize words.
A blocked throat chakrainhibits you from expressing
yourself when you feel thatsomeone has done you wrong, or
even I mean and that's sad,because we have every right to
be heard and seen if we feellike we're hurt or if we feel
(14:13):
like we're joyful.
And a blocked throat chakra canget in the way of either of
those and y'all.
Again, it leaves you prone toburnout and compassion, fatigue
and vicarious trauma.
So how does the throat chakraimpact our authenticity?
Because that is one of thebiggest gifts we have to live in
(14:34):
, our true authenticity,completely and totally
comfortable in your skin.
You know, and not given a flyand flip, what others think of
you.
And I'm again back to if yourthroat chakra is balanced,
you're not going to be crass andrude.
That's not what I'm talkingabout at all.
(14:54):
I'm talking about releasingwith love.
If you don't like what you'reseeing here with me, it's okay.
I'm going to release you withlove because there's lots of
other places for you to be andme to be.
If someone is your people, ifthose are your peeps, things are
going to resonate.
(15:14):
So here's how the throat chakraimpacts authenticity,
communication and expression.
Right, the throat chakra is thecenter of our ability to speak
our truth, express our emotionsand communicate our needs.
It's going to impact yourself-awareness.
A balanced throat chakraencourages self-awareness.
(15:36):
This allows you to connect withyour inner truth and express
your authenticity in a veryauthentic way.
You've been around people thataren't living in their
authenticity and express yourauthenticity in a very authentic
way.
You've been around people thataren't living in their
authenticity.
I mean, I know I can just feelit.
When I'm around someone that'sbeing fake and not being
(15:58):
authentic and genuine, I getuncomfortable.
My skin feels creepy crawly.
I just cannot relax around thisperson.
There's a fear of speaking.
When our throat chakra is notbalanced, it can manifest as a
fear of speaking out.
It can manifest as socialanxiety, difficulty in
(16:20):
expressing our thoughts clearly.
It can impact authenticrelationships, because the
ability to communicateauthentically is crucial for
forming genuine connections andbuilding strong relationships.
So these are very importantthings to the essence of our
(16:40):
life and balancing, getting thatthroat chakra unblocked and
balanced is eminently important.
I work very hard with my clientson their throat chakra
balancing because I know howimportant that is to everything
else we're working on.
So grab my book if you want toknow more.
(17:03):
Book an appointment with me ifyou want to work on some things
my book, if you want to knowmore.
Book an appointment with me ifyou want to work on some things.
And I'm going to invite you tosubscribe to my email list to
get the weekly podcast emailedto you, which includes the bonus
PDF that I create for you eachweek.
All you have to do is hop onover to my website,
wwwjuliemerrimanphdcom.
(17:26):
Sign up for that email list.
I've also got all my counselingstuff on that and I've got a
link to the book.
Okay, that's my commercial.
Let's go on to the activity thatI've created for you to help
you balance that throat chakra.
Okay, so I'm going to take abig drink of water here.
I want you all to getcomfortable and remember we're
(17:50):
talking about that throat chakra.
The color is blue.
That goes with the throat.
Um, I want you to just take abig, deep breath and exhale and
just get centered.
Just envision blue radiatingaround your throat as I'm
talking about this activity.
Okay, so, finding the courage touse your authentic voice.
(18:14):
To find that authentic voice,you have to reflect on your core
values, strengths and passions.
You want to align your voicewith these elements to ensure
that you are leading your lifeauthentically and staying true
to who you are.
(18:34):
And you're not going to knowwho you are if you haven't taken
time to reflect on your corevalues, strengths and passions.
So let's park here just a hotminute.
So let's park here just a hotminute to deeply reflect on your
core values.
This means these core values,rather, are the fundamental
(18:54):
beliefs that guide yourdecisions and your actions.
Consider your inherent strengthsNow.
These are the talents andcapabilities that come naturally
to you and enable you to excel,and I would invite you that
bring you joy.
It doesn't rob you of energywhen you're in these strengths,
(19:16):
it energizes you and brings joy.
And in exploring your passions,y'all these are the activities
and subjects, again, that igniteyour enthusiasm and drive, just
like the strengths.
When you're in these passions,you're energized.
(19:37):
Right Time just flies.
You're in the zone.
It's important to stay in touchwith these elements.
I think we get too busy doinglife and forget to focus on
things that help us be in lifethe being.
We're so busy with the doing so, the more we are in our
(20:02):
authenticity, the more we'regoing to be in our being.
See, when your voice is alignedwith these foundational
elements, your authentic voicefeels genuine and stems from a
place of deep conviction,allowing you to remain steadfast
in the principles that are trueto you.
(20:23):
And have you taken the time toreally do that?
You know, I'm in my 60s.
I'm really aware that maybeI've got 20, 30 more years to do
all the things I want to do.
I mean, yesterday I was in my20s and it seemed like I had
forever to get things done.
(20:44):
I'm hyper aware of trying tolive in my passion and find
those sparks so that I can be inmy authenticity.
Do that for yourself now.
I don't care how old you are.
I don't care if you're in your80s I mean, we are never too old
to be in our passions and dothe things that really bring us
(21:09):
joy so we can live out of ourauthenticity.
And taking this a bit deeper,in your authentic voice you well
, when you're to be in authenticvoice, you want to carefully
craft a message that clearlyarticulates the impact you
(21:35):
aspire to create in the world.
So that looks like this whatpositive change do you want to
inspire?
It doesn't have to be mountainmoving.
It could be like I want mygoats to have the best alfalfa
around.
I mean whatever.
Just know that for yourself.
What difference do you hope tomake in the lives of others or
(21:58):
within your sphere of influence?
By defining your desired impact, you provide a clear direction
for your communication, andthat's powerful.
You need to take the time toexplicitly clarify what you
(22:20):
stand for.
What principles arenon-negotiable for you?
What values will consistentlyinform the messages you convey?
Articulating your beliefs withconviction will establish trust
and y'all it allows others tounderstand your perspective.
(22:43):
Trust and y'all it allowsothers to understand your
perspective.
Don't you respect people thatyou know where they're coming
from?
I'm sure you've been around thatreally authentic person that
just inspires you.
You can do this for you and yousimply have to ask yourself
what knowledge, inspiration orcall to action do you wish to
(23:04):
impart?
By focusing on the value youoffer to others, your message
will become more relevant andimpactful, fostering a really
deeper connection.
So that's very true of theclients we might be serving.
(23:25):
It's very true of our family,the people who are our friends.
But, most importantly, it's aquestion to take to yourself and
really think what am I doingwith my life?
Am I living in my authenticity?
Let me truly reflect on thesequestions and see what I want my
voice to sound like, becauseyour voice creates your life.
(23:50):
I mean, that's your thoughtsand what you're putting out in
the world and that's where youmanifest and it comes back to
you.
So these are important thingsto really consider.
So, these are important thingsto really consider.
Okay, so what can you do,besides what we talked about
these questions, to open yourthroat chakra?
What are some techniques andactivities?
(24:10):
Well, I would invite you tojoin a Toastmasters Club.
Learn to speak in front ofpeople and set aside judgment.
Okay, meditate.
Of course you can meditate onopening your chakras.
You can find specific throatchakra music or guided
(24:35):
meditations online.
I find YouTube to be a greatresource.
Chanting Related to meditatingis this thing called chanting,
and I've talked to you all aboutthis before.
The word hum aligns with theenergy of the throat.
If you do that long enough, youcan really feel the energies
break loose.
You can repeat this mantra as ameditation, or you can adopt it
(24:56):
into your daily life as anaffirmation.
Hum it to yourself as you gothrough the day.
Sing Singing in general isreally good for you.
All of us are drawn to music ina way that resonates more
powerfully than spoken speech.
Think about when the right songcomes on, girl man.
(25:20):
It can just change your wholeday.
This is a great way to openyour throat chakra.
So sing your little heart out.
If you don't want others tohear you do it alone in the car,
hop in the shower.
I'm, I'm relentless.
My kids, when they were littlethey were so cute well, really
being smart asses, but they'recute.
(25:40):
Looking back, um, I remembercliff going mom, mom who sings
that song and I might say, oh,the beatles, he'd go well.
Well then, let them sing it.
I love to sing, um, and it'snot always on key, but yeah,
it's okay.
Use your voice.
And that's my next thing.
Use your voice if you knowyou're gonna need to um, perform
(26:00):
or something you know you'regoing to need to perform or
something you're going to have ahard conversation.
Practice beforehand, stand infront of the mirror and rehearse
.
Practice can help you come upwith a diplomatic and helpful
way of saying things rather thancoming across as crass or
hurtful.
(26:21):
And y'all, wear more blue, wearmore turquoise haze.
I know it's when I'm recordingthis.
It's summer here in Texas, andsummer is when I break out my
turquoise Love turquoise andthose hues are great for your
throat.
When you wear a certain colorthat amplifies a particular
(26:44):
chakra color, that's a goodthing and, as I said, the
turquoise color blue happens tobe tied to your throat, so wear
some turquoise around your neck.
Okay, I mentioned affirmationsa little bit, but affirmations
are very important for all kindsof things, but as you're trying
(27:08):
to really live out of yourauthentic self, repeating
positive affirmations, focusingon self-expression and
communication, can reprogramsome of those negative thought
patterns and encourageauthenticity.
Mindful breathing I've beendoing this before.
I knew it was even thing I canremember at four or five years
(27:30):
old mindfully breathing, tryingto work through something.
But mindful breathing,practicing this, can help calm
the nerves nervous system andcreate space for more open and
authentic communication.
And just a couple of morelistening.
We talked about that.
(27:50):
The throat chakra y'all isabout active listening as much
as it is about active speaking,and this is equally important
for understanding ourself andothers.
And then, finally, identifyingand releasing behaviors and
(28:13):
thoughts that are not supportingwell-being can help clear
blockages in the throat chakra.
How beautiful is that?
Okay, everything we talkedabout, friends, everything we
talked about and gonna cost youa penny.
All it cost you is time, whichI know that's probably the most
expensive currency there is, butthe more time you spend on
(28:36):
yourself, the more authenticallyyou're gonna live and the more
comfortable you're gonna be inyour skin.
Authentically you're going tolive and the more comfortable
you're going to be in your skin,which brings soul joy, and
that's what I wish for everyoneSoul joy.
So okay, all righty.
That is it for today.
Subscribe to my podcastwherever you listen.
(28:56):
No-transcript.
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