November 11, 2024 • 15 mins
What if your financial beliefs are unconsciously impacting your well-being? Join me, Dr. Julie Merriman, as we unravel the intricacies of your money mindset in the latest episode of SoulJoy. We embark on a journey to uncover how our childhood and family history shape our "money story," which often operates beneath our conscious awareness, much like hidden emotions in therapy. By understanding these hidden influences, we can transform our relationship with money and enhance our holistic self-care, particularly during the demanding holiday season. Discover how aligning your financial beliefs with your root chakra through practices like yoga can lead to improved wellness and even open the door to financial abundance.
Throughout this episode, I guide you through introspective exercises designed to help you reflect on your money beliefs and the root causes of any fears or resentments. Utilizing tools like superpower models and body scans, we delve into your personal financial narrative, offering you insights that can prevent burnout and compassion fatigue—a common occupational hazard. This conversation is an invitation to explore your financial schemas, encouraging you to take control of your money mindset for a healthier, more balanced life. Don't miss the chance to transform your financial story and boost your overall well-being. Be sure to subscribe for more enriching episodes and engage with us for further exploration.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
SoulJoy.
In today's episode, I'm goingto talk to you all about your
money story.
Well, your money mindset, Icall it money story.
This is a necessary I meannecessary component of holistic,
(00:22):
sustainable self-care, alsoknown as wellness.
Okay, friend, thank you so muchfor dropping by today.
Again, today's story, ortoday's episode, is all about
(00:43):
your money mindset and moneystory.
I really appreciate you takinga minute out of your day to drop
by and hang out with me as wechat about this really important
topic.
I think this topic is soimportant but before I get there
, it has dawned on me as I wasgetting ready to record this
(01:06):
podcast.
Y'all, the holidays are upon us, we are in November, it's just,
oh, it just goes by so fast, sofast.
So as I was pondering aboutthat, I realized our
Thanksgiving is going to be abit quiet, which is fine.
I'll go ahead and cook atraditional meal, because I
really like cooking the holidaymeals, and then I think we're
(01:28):
going to invite some folks overwho maybe don't have a place to
go for the holiday.
And then after well, no, evenbefore I do that, y'all, it's
time to order Christmas cards,If you use pictures to.
You know, do the mail outs.
You know their traditionalChristmas card with the family
pic.
So it is time to start gettingthat together.
(01:50):
Okay, professional helpers, thispodcast is dedicated to
preventing and overcoming theoccupational hazards of this
career that we've chosen.
Chosen man, I can't talkSpecifically burnout, compassion
fatigue and those vicarioustraumas Y'all.
Our brain does not know if atrauma is ours or someone else's
(02:14):
.
We are good therapists, we'regood professional helpers, so
we're attending and listeningand our body is responding as
we're listening to otherpeople's traumas, which I mean
that's what leads to our burnoutand compassion fatigue and
secondary stressors.
So, anyway, it's importantwe're taking care of ourselves.
So you might wonder why in theworld, Merriman, would you lump
(02:37):
your money mindset intoself-care?
And I'm going to tell youbecause the way, the
relationship we have with money,that impacts everything in our
life.
I grew up in a family where mydaddy had been raised by an
alcoholic.
His daddy was an alcoholic.
He was from a very wealthyfamily in Virginia.
(03:00):
He was the youngest of manygirls.
Everyone else in the familywere lawyers and doctors and my
dad's dad actually was a pilotin World War II, but the war was
not a friend to him.
He came back.
He was a terrible alcoholic anddaddy saw him squander huge
(03:21):
sums of money.
He'd get a lot of money andthen blow it in a day and they'd
be struggling on having a placeto live and food and all that's
to say.
Daddy had a very neurotic forlack of a better word
relationship with money, andI've heard my mother say more
(03:41):
than once that the way he poorlymanaged money was a huge factor
in their divorce.
So you can imagine I hadsomewhat of a neurotic money
story myself before I really didmy work on it, and y'all that's
why it's so important to me.
I realize how a healthy moneystory leads to healthy self-care
(04:04):
, wellness.
So it's important to do thework, to know your mind, your
mindset around that, and y'allit's also surprisingly, this is
also ruled by your root chakra.
Can you believe how many oflife's necessities are ruled by
(04:28):
our root chakra?
It's really important that wetake the time to balance this
chakra, and I think for the lastfour weeks I've been talking
about issues that come up whenour root chakra isn't balanced.
So if you've missed thosepodcasts, I invite you to pop
back to some other episodes,because it's important to
(04:52):
understand the things that areattached to our root chakra and,
again, getting yourselfgrounded, doing some great yoga,
knowing how to balance thatroot chakra, is very important.
So everything I share with youin the podcast are things that
can help.
But, but getting yourselfenrolled in a great yoga class
(05:14):
would is always a good thing,okay, so so?
So here's what I have for youtoday what you believe about
money determines yourrelationship with it and how
money shows up in your life.
(05:36):
It's kind of like, I think it'skind of like
counter-transference in asession.
I mean, it happens a lot of thetime outside of our awareness.
Counter-transference that ismoney story too, but it's
happening outside of ourawareness.
We realize there's somethingkind of jicky about that session
.
So, being a good therapist,being a good helper, we go and
(05:59):
seek supervision to help us beeven better, and then we realize
where that counter-transferencewas lying.
Well, y'all, this is what Iwant to help you be even better.
And then we realize where thatcounter-transference was lying.
Well, y'all, this is what Iwant to help you do.
I want you to help you findthat money story and realize how
it is impacting how you'reshowing up in life.
You need to get crystal clearabout the schema that are
(06:22):
impacting you around your moneystory.
You've developed these beliefs,y'all over your lifetime by
observing people around us andhow they reacted to money, Just
like I said, with my daddy Imean, his generational daddy
watched his daddy, I watched mydaddy and you know how I saw my
(06:45):
father reacting to money suretaught me a lot about money.
Now I've had to unlearn some ofthose things and I have a
pretty healthy relationship withmoney now and, it's funny, the
healthier your relationshipy'all, I kid you not you start
manifesting money.
Manifest and I I I don't meanto sound woo woo, I, just your,
(07:05):
I, just your amygdala islistening to all that voice
between your head and thelinguistics you use to talk
about money and the way yourbody reacts to these things, and
it helps to make that a reality.
Make that a reality.
(07:30):
So when you have a healthy moneystory, the reality is that you
live with everything you need.
You're manifesting, you'reliving life in such a way that
you're creating the money thatyou need.
It's mind-boggling, I'm tellingyou it's mind-boggling.
It's mind-boggling, I'm tellingyou it's mind-boggling, but
you've developed these beliefsover your lifetime and watching
how people in your life.
(07:50):
React to money teaches you howyou're going to react.
So when we get it out of our,when we get it out of our, when
we get it into our, awareness iswhat I'm trying to say we're
able to see how we're reactingand change these reactions.
Y'all, watching how peoplereacted to money is where you
(08:12):
learned if you believe money isgood or evil, and it also is
where we learn if we believepeople with money are good or
evil.
Isn't that crazy?
Because, see, money is just anends to a mean.
Money has no inherent value.
The value is projected onto it.
(08:34):
Money itself, a dollar bill, isnot good or evil.
It's just a tool that we use.
Money.
However, y'all and I'm sure youcan relate to this it can be a
really emotionally laden topic,especially, I have found, in the
helping professionals In thisfield.
(08:57):
Somehow we've been trained tosell our services by the hour
right, Instead of by the valuethat we bring, that we offer.
I mean, think about it.
We create an hourly fee insteadof creating a package of value
(09:18):
that is, quite frankly, in myopinion, priceless.
What you do as a professionalhelper, y'all is life changing
and uber valuable.
If you find any resistancearound this topic, around what
I'm saying.
I'm going to invite you toconsider there's a lot of work
(09:40):
to be done with your money storyso that you can alter your
money mindset.
Now I want you to start withbody scans, that somatic work
getting into your body.
It has to be done.
This work cannot be done if youdon't do your body scans and
utilize superpower models.
You can't just change a thought.
(10:03):
You've got to take care of yourbody as well.
Body has to metabolize hormones, Body has to shift and move
around some memories.
We can't just do the brain work.
It's the two together that Ithink are so very valuable.
Professional helpers y'alldeserve to earn a living wage.
(10:25):
More than a living wage, Y'alldeserve to earn a good wage.
You are super educated.
Everyone out here has a minimumof a master's degree.
That was not free.
You bring deep value to yourpatients and clients.
You deserve to be paid for yourexpertise period I'm going to
(10:48):
put a period right there period.
You have value, you offer valueand it's time to work on your
money story.
I take a really deep dive inthis in my book In Pursuit of
Soul Joy, if you want to godeeper than what I'm offering
here in the podcast, Althoughwhat I'm offering is going to
(11:09):
get you a good start.
But before I share the activitythis week, I want to invite,
need to go to my website,wwwjuliemerrimanphdcom and sign
up for my newsletter, and if youdo that, I'm able to email
(11:33):
these podcasts to you with thefree PDFs that I create to go
with the activities that I shareeach week.
Okay, so let me grab a quickdrink of water here.
The activity for today I callit earn more money, but it
(11:53):
really it's beyond earning moremoney.
Again, before we can have themindset to manifest money, we
have to be able to examine thatmoney story and see where we
might be blocking energies.
So I have just a few questionsto ask you here.
(12:16):
First, I want you to askyourself and it's not just about
fees, y'all, but fees is areally good place to start?
A really good place to startBecause if you're not charging
enough to have a living wage,then you are resenting your job.
That's where I really wanty'all to be careful about
(12:38):
bringing people on for free, forfree, Because what happens is
we start to resent that they'retaking space each day out of our
calendar for free.
Now I have some pro bono thingsI do, but I have worked that
into my business model and I'mvery cognizant about where I
offer that.
I offer some sliding fees, butit's worked into my business
(13:01):
model and I'm very cognizant.
I have had a practice where Iwas 10 bucks here, 20 bucks
there, 30, but I was.
I was starving because I wasn'tcharging a way, a fee that I
could live on and that createsresentment.
And again I had to look at thechickie poo in the mirror me and
(13:23):
she's the one I had to blameand she's the one who had to fix
things.
So that's why I'm starting withlooking at fees today.
So who determines your fees andhow?
I would just ask you that Doyou know your overhead?
I need you to list out all yourexpenses, from rent to internet
(13:47):
, to computer, to your salary,to insurance, to I mean whatever
Every item that you utilize inyour practice.
You need to know what youroverhead expense is, Because
what happens?
We start setting fees withouteven considering the overhead,
(14:09):
so we're in the red before weeven start.
And then I want you to askyourself is money good or bad?
I mean, really write this down.
I want you to write down thetimeline.
I want you to understand whereand why and how you believe,
(14:33):
what you believe about money and, finally, I want you to write
about fear or resentment youhave around money.
That's an important item toexamine and once you have these
(14:55):
questions answered, I want youto utilize the superpower models
and the body scans to reallyget to the root, the root chakra
of your money story.
It's there.
It might be hiding in plainsight, but I promise it's there
(15:15):
and it's worth the effort tofind it.
Okay, that's it for today.
Subscribe to the podcastwherever you listen.
Contact me.
I'd love to hear from you anduntil next time, take care of
you.
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
SoulJoy.
In today's episode, I'm goingto talk to you all about your
money story.
Well, your money mindset, Icall it money story.
This is a necessary I meannecessary component of holistic,
(00:22):
sustainable self-care, alsoknown as wellness.
Okay, friend, thank you so muchfor dropping by today.
Again, today's story, ortoday's episode, is all about
(00:43):
your money mindset and moneystory.
I really appreciate you takinga minute out of your day to drop
by and hang out with me as wechat about this really important
topic.
I think this topic is soimportant but before I get there
, it has dawned on me as I wasgetting ready to record this
(01:06):
podcast.
Y'all, the holidays are upon us, we are in November, it's just,
oh, it just goes by so fast, sofast.
So as I was pondering aboutthat, I realized our
Thanksgiving is going to be abit quiet, which is fine.
I'll go ahead and cook atraditional meal, because I
really like cooking the holidaymeals, and then I think we're
(01:28):
going to invite some folks overwho maybe don't have a place to
go for the holiday.
And then after well, no, evenbefore I do that, y'all, it's
time to order Christmas cards,If you use pictures to.
You know, do the mail outs.
You know their traditionalChristmas card with the family
pic.
So it is time to start gettingthat together.
(01:50):
Okay, professional helpers, thispodcast is dedicated to
preventing and overcoming theoccupational hazards of this
career that we've chosen.
Chosen man, I can't talkSpecifically burnout, compassion
fatigue and those vicarioustraumas Y'all.
Our brain does not know if atrauma is ours or someone else's
(02:14):
.
We are good therapists, we'regood professional helpers, so
we're attending and listeningand our body is responding as
we're listening to otherpeople's traumas, which I mean
that's what leads to our burnoutand compassion fatigue and
secondary stressors.
So, anyway, it's importantwe're taking care of ourselves.
So you might wonder why in theworld, Merriman, would you lump
(02:37):
your money mindset intoself-care?
And I'm going to tell youbecause the way, the
relationship we have with money,that impacts everything in our
life.
I grew up in a family where mydaddy had been raised by an
alcoholic.
His daddy was an alcoholic.
He was from a very wealthyfamily in Virginia.
(03:00):
He was the youngest of manygirls.
Everyone else in the familywere lawyers and doctors and my
dad's dad actually was a pilotin World War II, but the war was
not a friend to him.
He came back.
He was a terrible alcoholic anddaddy saw him squander huge
(03:21):
sums of money.
He'd get a lot of money andthen blow it in a day and they'd
be struggling on having a placeto live and food and all that's
to say.
Daddy had a very neurotic forlack of a better word
relationship with money, andI've heard my mother say more
(03:41):
than once that the way he poorlymanaged money was a huge factor
in their divorce.
So you can imagine I hadsomewhat of a neurotic money
story myself before I really didmy work on it, and y'all that's
why it's so important to me.
I realize how a healthy moneystory leads to healthy self-care
(04:04):
, wellness.
So it's important to do thework, to know your mind, your
mindset around that, and y'allit's also surprisingly, this is
also ruled by your root chakra.
Can you believe how many oflife's necessities are ruled by
(04:28):
our root chakra?
It's really important that wetake the time to balance this
chakra, and I think for the lastfour weeks I've been talking
about issues that come up whenour root chakra isn't balanced.
So if you've missed thosepodcasts, I invite you to pop
back to some other episodes,because it's important to
(04:52):
understand the things that areattached to our root chakra and,
again, getting yourselfgrounded, doing some great yoga,
knowing how to balance thatroot chakra, is very important.
So everything I share with youin the podcast are things that
can help.
But, but getting yourselfenrolled in a great yoga class
(05:14):
would is always a good thing,okay, so so?
So here's what I have for youtoday what you believe about
money determines yourrelationship with it and how
money shows up in your life.
(05:36):
It's kind of like, I think it'skind of like
counter-transference in asession.
I mean, it happens a lot of thetime outside of our awareness.
Counter-transference that ismoney story too, but it's
happening outside of ourawareness.
We realize there's somethingkind of jicky about that session
.
So, being a good therapist,being a good helper, we go and
(05:59):
seek supervision to help us beeven better, and then we realize
where that counter-transferencewas lying.
Well, y'all, this is what Iwant to help you be even better.
And then we realize where thatcounter-transference was lying.
Well, y'all, this is what Iwant to help you do.
I want you to help you findthat money story and realize how
it is impacting how you'reshowing up in life.
You need to get crystal clearabout the schema that are
(06:22):
impacting you around your moneystory.
You've developed these beliefs,y'all over your lifetime by
observing people around us andhow they reacted to money, Just
like I said, with my daddy Imean, his generational daddy
watched his daddy, I watched mydaddy and you know how I saw my
(06:45):
father reacting to money suretaught me a lot about money.
Now I've had to unlearn some ofthose things and I have a
pretty healthy relationship withmoney now and, it's funny, the
healthier your relationshipy'all, I kid you not you start
manifesting money.
Manifest and I I I don't meanto sound woo woo, I, just your,
(07:05):
I, just your amygdala islistening to all that voice
between your head and thelinguistics you use to talk
about money and the way yourbody reacts to these things, and
it helps to make that a reality.
Make that a reality.
(07:30):
So when you have a healthy moneystory, the reality is that you
live with everything you need.
You're manifesting, you'reliving life in such a way that
you're creating the money thatyou need.
It's mind-boggling, I'm tellingyou it's mind-boggling.
It's mind-boggling, I'm tellingyou it's mind-boggling, but
you've developed these beliefsover your lifetime and watching
how people in your life.
(07:50):
React to money teaches you howyou're going to react.
So when we get it out of our,when we get it out of our, when
we get it into our, awareness iswhat I'm trying to say we're
able to see how we're reactingand change these reactions.
Y'all, watching how peoplereacted to money is where you
(08:12):
learned if you believe money isgood or evil, and it also is
where we learn if we believepeople with money are good or
evil.
Isn't that crazy?
Because, see, money is just anends to a mean.
Money has no inherent value.
The value is projected onto it.
(08:34):
Money itself, a dollar bill, isnot good or evil.
It's just a tool that we use.
Money.
However, y'all and I'm sure youcan relate to this it can be a
really emotionally laden topic,especially, I have found, in the
helping professionals In thisfield.
(08:57):
Somehow we've been trained tosell our services by the hour
right, Instead of by the valuethat we bring, that we offer.
I mean, think about it.
We create an hourly fee insteadof creating a package of value
(09:18):
that is, quite frankly, in myopinion, priceless.
What you do as a professionalhelper, y'all is life changing
and uber valuable.
If you find any resistancearound this topic, around what
I'm saying.
I'm going to invite you toconsider there's a lot of work
(09:40):
to be done with your money storyso that you can alter your
money mindset.
Now I want you to start withbody scans, that somatic work
getting into your body.
It has to be done.
This work cannot be done if youdon't do your body scans and
utilize superpower models.
You can't just change a thought.
(10:03):
You've got to take care of yourbody as well.
Body has to metabolize hormones, Body has to shift and move
around some memories.
We can't just do the brain work.
It's the two together that Ithink are so very valuable.
Professional helpers y'alldeserve to earn a living wage.
(10:25):
More than a living wage, Y'alldeserve to earn a good wage.
You are super educated.
Everyone out here has a minimumof a master's degree.
That was not free.
You bring deep value to yourpatients and clients.
You deserve to be paid for yourexpertise period I'm going to
(10:48):
put a period right there period.
You have value, you offer valueand it's time to work on your
money story.
I take a really deep dive inthis in my book In Pursuit of
Soul Joy, if you want to godeeper than what I'm offering
here in the podcast, Althoughwhat I'm offering is going to
(11:09):
get you a good start.
But before I share the activitythis week, I want to invite,
need to go to my website,wwwjuliemerrimanphdcom and sign
up for my newsletter, and if youdo that, I'm able to email
(11:33):
these podcasts to you with thefree PDFs that I create to go
with the activities that I shareeach week.
Okay, so let me grab a quickdrink of water here.
The activity for today I callit earn more money, but it
(11:53):
really it's beyond earning moremoney.
Again, before we can have themindset to manifest money, we
have to be able to examine thatmoney story and see where we
might be blocking energies.
So I have just a few questionsto ask you here.
(12:16):
First, I want you to askyourself and it's not just about
fees, y'all, but fees is areally good place to start?
A really good place to startBecause if you're not charging
enough to have a living wage,then you are resenting your job.
That's where I really wanty'all to be careful about
(12:38):
bringing people on for free, forfree, Because what happens is
we start to resent that they'retaking space each day out of our
calendar for free.
Now I have some pro bono thingsI do, but I have worked that
into my business model and I'mvery cognizant about where I
offer that.
I offer some sliding fees, butit's worked into my business
(13:01):
model and I'm very cognizant.
I have had a practice where Iwas 10 bucks here, 20 bucks
there, 30, but I was.
I was starving because I wasn'tcharging a way, a fee that I
could live on and that createsresentment.
And again I had to look at thechickie poo in the mirror me and
(13:23):
she's the one I had to blameand she's the one who had to fix
things.
So that's why I'm starting withlooking at fees today.
So who determines your fees andhow?
I would just ask you that Doyou know your overhead?
I need you to list out all yourexpenses, from rent to internet
(13:47):
, to computer, to your salary,to insurance, to I mean whatever
Every item that you utilize inyour practice.
You need to know what youroverhead expense is, Because
what happens?
We start setting fees withouteven considering the overhead,
(14:09):
so we're in the red before weeven start.
And then I want you to askyourself is money good or bad?
I mean, really write this down.
I want you to write down thetimeline.
I want you to understand whereand why and how you believe,
(14:33):
what you believe about money and, finally, I want you to write
about fear or resentment youhave around money.
That's an important item toexamine and once you have these
(14:55):
questions answered, I want youto utilize the superpower models
and the body scans to reallyget to the root, the root chakra
of your money story.
It's there.
It might be hiding in plainsight, but I promise it's there
(15:15):
and it's worth the effort tofind it.
Okay, that's it for today.
Subscribe to the podcastwherever you listen.
Contact me.
I'd love to hear from you anduntil next time, take care of
you.
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