September 22, 2025 • 22 mins
Helpers—counselors, teachers, nurses, caregivers, pastors—we are often the ones people turn to in their most vulnerable moments. We hold space for them. But here’s the problem: if we aren’t intentional, we end up carrying the weight of their pain, draining ourselves dry in the process.
In this week’s episode of Soul Joy: Ditch Burnout and Fall in Love with Life, Dr. Julie Merriman shares a 5-step framework to help you hold space without losing yourself. You’ll learn simple, actionable practices rooted in neuroscience, counseling theory, and lived wisdom. This episode is your permission slip to show up with compassion and care—while protecting your energy and joy.
You’ll Learn:
- The true meaning of “holding space” and how it heals
- The hidden traps helpers fall into (boundary blurring, savior mindset, neglecting recovery)
- 5 actionable steps you can implement immediately to protect your energy
- Why daily joy rituals aren’t “optional self-care” but a professional necessity
- Reflection prompts you can journal through today
Resources:
- 🎧 Listen to the episode: [Podcast link]
- 📥 Free Self-Care Challenge
🌐 Learn more at: juliemerrimanphd.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
SoulJoy.
If you're a professional helperwhether you're a counselor,
nurse, pastor, doctor, teacheror caregiver you know the sacred
work of holding space forothers.
It's holy ground, but it's alsoheavy ground and if we're not
careful, it could drain us dry.
(00:22):
Okay, today we're talking abouthow to hold space for others
without losing yourself.
My hope today is that you'regoing to walk away with
(00:44):
practical tools you can startusing today, this minute, to
protect your own energy, so youcan stay grounded.
And, y'all, I want you to beable to keep showing up with
compassion and without burningout.
That is the whole reason I havecreated this podcast.
(01:05):
I want you to have resources toprotect you from burnout,
protect you from compassionfatigue, protect you from all
those secondary stressors thatwe, as professional helpers, are
exposed to.
Okay, so the first thing we'regoing to look at, segment one
(01:25):
what does it mean to hold space?
I know I used to hear that andI'd think, oh, that sounds
pretty groovy, but what the hellis it?
I really don't understand whatthat means, and I mean,
obviously.
I highly encourage you to takea look at my book In Pursuit of
Soul Joy.
That is my journey throughburnout when I didn't know how
to hold space.
(01:46):
I didn't know a lot of stuffback then and that book outlines
my journey back to humanness,to wellness.
But what does it mean to holdspace?
Okay, holding space means beingfully present for someone.
Yeah, we do this daily.
I'm talking to counselors.
(02:07):
We do this daily for ourclients.
I think all professionalhelpers do this daily.
We hold sacred space, beingfully present for someone else.
We listen without judgment, weallow their stories to unfold
and we offer safety withoutrushing to that fix right.
(02:31):
That dishonors our clients.
If we start doing problemsolving the minute a session
starts, we allow a sacred spaceto be developed where they feel
safe and they're able to go andexplore those deep, dark places
that are always well, really,they're probably never fun to
explore, but they're not fun toexplore.
(02:51):
But through us holding space,there's a safety and we don't
rush to fix.
That is insulting.
We don't get to problem solvinguntil we get to the end of the
session.
That is insulting.
We don't get to problem solvinguntil we get to the end of the
session and I think sometimes wedo that and it overtaxes us as
well as overtaxing our clients.
But y'all, holding space inessence is healing.
(03:16):
But here's the truth If you'reconstantly holding space for
others and never tending to yourown, you're going to end up
very depleted.
All that stuff I always talkabout compassion, fatigue,
resentment and exhaustion willsneak in.
(03:38):
It's eminently important thatwe understand what holding space
means, we understand the energywe put into it and we take time
to assess what we need afterwe've held such sacred space for
others.
Okay, so that's what it meansto hold space.
(03:58):
Next, let's talk about why welose ourselves, why we lose
ourselves in the process.
So I believe and you know, likeI tell you, I go and do some
research each week so I can have, I want to have data, I want to
(04:30):
have meat to feed you.
That's all I mean to share withyou in this podcast.
So here's what I believe arethe reasons we lose ourselves in
the process of holding space.
Three common reasons that weprofessional helpers will lose
ourselves.
Number one boundary blurring.
I've seen it, I've lived it, Iknow it's real.
When your clients, students,family members' emotions start
(04:51):
to feel like they're your ownemotions, that's a flag that we
want to pay attention to.
Boundary blurring Save yourmindset, believing you're
responsible for fixing everyone,and I don't say that insulting
(05:12):
the personalities.
They get into the professionalhelping field we often need to
be needed without really sittingdown and exploring what exactly
that means.
And how is that serving myclient?
That save your mindset cansneak in.
Yeah, we are not.
It is impossible for us to beeverything to everyone.
We have a certain niche that wereally serve well and we do our
(05:37):
best to take care of that.
But even in that we are merelya journey taker.
We walk alongside our clientsas they go through the process
of healing.
We are not God, we're not theSavior.
We cannot fix them.
Good old Texas term right,going to fix it, we can't fix
(05:59):
them.
We have to really explore that.
If we feel that coming up thatsave your mindset, that's a flag
and, I think, a beautifulopportunity to really explore
that in our own counselingsessions with our own therapist.
What is coming up here?
What is this about?
(06:19):
What is it tied to?
Third, there's the neglectingof self-recovery, the pouring
out without ever refilling.
We got to refill that vessel.
We cannot continue to pour fromthat pot and expect it not to
go dry, expect us not to beimpacted by how that feels we
(06:44):
cannot neglect self-recovery.
That should happen between everysession.
You should have some sort ofritual.
I don't care if you're amedical doctor, I don't care if
you're a nurse going from roomto room in the hospital, I don't
care if you're a counselor, aschool teacher however, you fall
into the helping professionals.
You need to have a ritual tocheck that energy, re-energize
(07:10):
self-recover between the peopleyou work on.
Now I'm thinking about nurses.
When my husband and I wereliving in the hospital due to
all his brain cancer stuff, Iknow nurses are hopping.
There's one of you and lots ofpeople pulling at you.
But even in that situation youcan figure out a real quick
(07:34):
ritual.
Maybe it's a big rectanglebreath, maybe it's a quick
visualization, maybe it's sometapping the EFT, tapping stuff.
There is something all of uscan do to get that self-recovery
taken care of between thepeople we serve.
Only then do we provide thebest clinical decisions, because
(07:58):
we're showing up whole Y'allresearch shows and this is
Figley 2013, salem and that's abig Salem et al 2023,.
Their research shows thathelpers who lack recovery
rituals are more prone toburnout and vicarious trauma and
(08:23):
you did not spend all the moneyand time and energy and effort
to get through all youreducation, to fall out of love
with this profession becauseyou're burned out, because
you're traumatized.
Take the time to take care ofyou.
The payoff is huge.
The cost is minimum.
Now the cost if you don't do itbecomes large.
(08:46):
Okay, so that's the threereasons why.
(09:10):
Actionable steps for you,protecting your space while
holding theirs, your clients,others.
Okay.
So first step one is for you toanchor yourself before the
encounter.
You know I would recommend atwo-minute grounding breath
(09:30):
before sessions, meetings orcaregiving moments.
But I know the reality of life.
You may not have two minutes,maybe you have 30 seconds.
Do that, take that, askyourself, as you're doing that
grounding breath before sessions, meetings or caregiving moments
, you ask yourself what is mineto hold and what's not?
(09:54):
When we work with people with alot of pain, that can be
overwhelming and we might try totake on some of that pain.
But that is not yours to hold.
It's yours to be present with,it's yours to help that client
hold space for and explore, butit's not yours to put in your
backpack and take home what ismine to hold and what's not.
(10:19):
Step two is to use microboundaries in the moment.
So here y'all, I want you topicture a clear glass wall.
I just remodeled my masterbathroom and put in this
gorgeous glass wall around myshower.
So I mean I'm picturing thatwhen I say, picture a clear
(10:42):
glass wall, empathy flowsthrough, but emotions don't
stick.
Hear that again, this imaginaryglass wall where empathy can
flow through, you can providethat to your client, but
(11:04):
emotions do not stick.
The client's emotions do notstick on that wall.
You want to keep your languagesupportive but contained.
I hear how painful this is.
Instead of, please don't saythis.
I feel your pain, we can't feel.
We don't want to insult aclient by saying oh, I know how
(11:26):
you feel, we don't.
Everyone feels different.
We are there to be with them,not to feel it for them.
We are there to provide asacred space for them to feel,
but it is impossible for us toknow exactly how they feel
because we are all different andcome to that moment from very
different experiences.
(11:48):
Step three you want to ritualizethe release.
Ritualize the release Aftereach encounter.
Practice closing ritual.
After each encounter, you needto practice a closing ritual.
I mentioned a couple earlier.
(12:10):
Maybe a square breath, or maybeyou just tap your feet on the
ground, notice the energy inyour body.
Maybe you do a body scan wheream I feeling this?
And bring compassionate love tothat spot on your body.
Maybe it's the EFT tappingplethora of things.
You know what will work for you.
Another couple of things youcould do just shake out your
(12:33):
arms right, just release thatenergy.
Maybe you could write down justone sentence about the
interaction and then close yournotebook.
Or perhaps you literally washyour hands as a symbolic release
.
And nurses, you're having towash your hands anyway.
Maybe you approach that alittle differently each time.
(12:53):
And physicians, I mean, youknow it's the energy you bring
to this ritualizing release thatis going to help you.
And then, step four you want torefill with joy daily.
Right, I talk about this a lot.
Self-care isn't about removingcrap.
(13:16):
Self-care is about being sofull of things that are joyful
for you.
You don't have to worry aboutremoving stuff because the room
has been taken up with the joy,the things that feel good.
So step four refill with joydaily.
I invite you to schedule 10 to15 minutes of something that
(13:40):
brings you absolute joy.
Maybe walking your dog, maybesinging, journaling, or just
sitting on your porch anddrinking coffee.
My husband and I.
When we built this house, wereally walked around the
property and found the perfectspot.
It's on a hill and the view andI really had to think which way
(14:05):
is the house going to face.
I made sure the backyard facedthe view and I've created an
outdoor living room out therewith a couple of rocking chairs,
coffee table plants.
He got me one of those biggiant swinging bed kind of
things.
I love it, but the view ismajestic.
(14:27):
There's all these oak trees andoff in the distance there's
hills and vistas.
It's just a beautiful view.
That is a place that I can goto drink my coffee and really
experience joy.
I really invite you.
When you think about what am Igoing to do to refill my joy
(14:48):
daily, you think about what am Igoing to do to refill my joy
daily, think about somethingthat involves the outdoors,
simply because outdoors it's sogrounding that vitamin D from
the sun, which we know helpsregulate our emotions, which we
can struggle with asprofessional helpers find.
(15:08):
You know.
I just invite you and maybe wecan't all the time.
There's times I plop my butt onthe sofa and I like to.
I think I just invite you, andmaybe we can't all the time.
I mean, there's times I plop mybutt on the sofa and I like to
color.
I think I've told you all this.
There's a coloring app I haveon my phone.
I love to color and listen toan audible or a podcast.
I love it.
We all know what brings us joy.
I invite you to take the time sothat at the drop of a hat, if
(15:31):
someone says, hey, bill, what'ssomething you do that brings you
joy, you don't have to thinkyou go, boom, sit on my back
porch and drink coffee, boom,know what you're doing to bring
joy and do it.
And I just you know.
I want you to name thisjoy-filling time as recovery
(15:54):
time, not some optionalself-indulgence, it's recovery
time, which is why I do allowmyself to plop on my sofa and I
love my sofa.
It's this big yellow velvetsofa, big wraparound, sectional.
It's a sectional but it takesup most of the living room.
I just love it.
I used to not allow myself timeto sit and just not just.
(16:19):
It's self-recovery toself-recover period, let me just
put a period there.
But through my burnout andrecovery process I have learned
the value of recovery time.
It is not optionalself-indulgence, it's recovery
time so I show up better for myhusband, for my kids, for my
(16:40):
clients.
It's important, okay.
And then step five is for you tobuild a support circle.
Helpers need helpers too.
Create peer check-ins, maybe asupervision group or a friend
(17:06):
accountability call.
What do you do to supportyourself right here, right now,
if we were sitting together andI said, okay, jane, help me
understand what you do to takecare of yourself, what circle do
you have around you?
What would you say Now, maybesome of y'all are going.
Easy, jules, I do blah, blah,blah, but maybe some of y'all
are going.
It's a good one, I don't.
(17:26):
So do Find a place to createthat circle.
You want to, in this circle, beasking each other how are you
holding up?
What's one thing you're doingjust for you this week?
Those are important things forus, as professional helpers, to
be considering, to beconsidering, okay.
(17:49):
So actionable steps to protectyour space while holding space
for others.
Anchor yourself before theencounter, use micro boundaries
in the moment that glass wall.
Empathy goes out.
Emotions don't stick.
Ritualize the release, refillwith joy daily and build a
(18:15):
support circle which brings usto reflection prompts for you
all to think about.
Now, right here.
I want to just pump the brakes amoment.
I highly encourage y'all tosign up to get this email weekly
where I send you the podcastand I send you a free, soul
(18:37):
nourishing PDF.
I believe that's very importantand I create a very beautiful
PDF to nourish your soul eachweek.
All you have to do is hop overto wwwjuliemerrimanphdcom and
sign up and I'll send you thesewith love each week.
I hate to say email is becauseI'm not trying to sell you
(19:08):
anything, I promise.
I just want to get this podcastto you in your inbox so it's
easy, breezy to listen to andyou have that PDF, all right.
So I have created three promptsfor you to think about.
So grab your journal and write.
(19:29):
Or, if you're like me, when I'mlistening to a podcast I'm
probably out in the garden.
Or, like I say, coloring on myphone, I'm not where I'm writing
, so certainly think about it.
But if you can write it down, Ithink the kinesthetic action of
writing things down is socathartic and therapeutic and
important, okay.
(19:50):
So, first one who are youholding space for right now?
Okay, who are you holding spacefor right now?
Where do you feel yourselfgetting depleted?
Do you feel yourself gettingdepleted.
(20:10):
That's an important one.
Where are you getting depleted?
Where is that feeling in yourbody and where is it in your
life?
Which of the five steps I justtalked you through could you
start practicing today?
Which of those five steps?
And let me just remind you,anchor yourself before the
(20:31):
encounter.
Use micro boundaries in themoment.
Ritualize the release, refillwith joy daily, build a support
circle.
Which one of those could youstart practicing today?
Okay, so that's a lot of goodinformation for you to apply.
(20:58):
Friends, I just invite you tounderstand, to think about, to
internalize that holding spaceis one of the most sacred gifts
we give, but your well-beingmatters too.
When you ground yourself, setmicro boundaries, release what's
(21:19):
not yours, refill daily andlean on your community, you can
keep showing up with compassionwithout losing yourself in the
process.
Without losing yourself in theprocess.
Okay, if you love today'sepisode, share it with another
helper who might need thesereminders.
(21:40):
And don't forget to grab yourfree Soul Joy Starter Guide, and
really the only way to grabthat in this moment is to get on
my list so I can get it emailedto you, because this starter
guide is going to kickstart yourburnout prevention journey and
(22:01):
I have it linked in the shownotes, how to sign up to get
these emails.
So until next time, may youfind joy in the work, peace in
the pauses and love in your ownlife.
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
SoulJoy.
If you're a professional helperwhether you're a counselor,
nurse, pastor, doctor, teacheror caregiver you know the sacred
work of holding space forothers.
It's holy ground, but it's alsoheavy ground and if we're not
careful, it could drain us dry.
(00:22):
Okay, today we're talking abouthow to hold space for others
without losing yourself.
My hope today is that you'regoing to walk away with
(00:44):
practical tools you can startusing today, this minute, to
protect your own energy, so youcan stay grounded.
And, y'all, I want you to beable to keep showing up with
compassion and without burningout.
That is the whole reason I havecreated this podcast.
(01:05):
I want you to have resources toprotect you from burnout,
protect you from compassionfatigue, protect you from all
those secondary stressors thatwe, as professional helpers, are
exposed to.
Okay, so the first thing we'regoing to look at, segment one
(01:25):
what does it mean to hold space?
I know I used to hear that andI'd think, oh, that sounds
pretty groovy, but what the hellis it?
I really don't understand whatthat means, and I mean,
obviously.
I highly encourage you to takea look at my book In Pursuit of
Soul Joy.
That is my journey throughburnout when I didn't know how
to hold space.
(01:46):
I didn't know a lot of stuffback then and that book outlines
my journey back to humanness,to wellness.
But what does it mean to holdspace?
Okay, holding space means beingfully present for someone.
Yeah, we do this daily.
I'm talking to counselors.
(02:07):
We do this daily for ourclients.
I think all professionalhelpers do this daily.
We hold sacred space, beingfully present for someone else.
We listen without judgment, weallow their stories to unfold
and we offer safety withoutrushing to that fix right.
(02:31):
That dishonors our clients.
If we start doing problemsolving the minute a session
starts, we allow a sacred spaceto be developed where they feel
safe and they're able to go andexplore those deep, dark places
that are always well, really,they're probably never fun to
explore, but they're not fun toexplore.
(02:51):
But through us holding space,there's a safety and we don't
rush to fix.
That is insulting.
We don't get to problem solvinguntil we get to the end of the
session.
That is insulting.
We don't get to problem solvinguntil we get to the end of the
session and I think sometimes wedo that and it overtaxes us as
well as overtaxing our clients.
But y'all, holding space inessence is healing.
(03:16):
But here's the truth If you'reconstantly holding space for
others and never tending to yourown, you're going to end up
very depleted.
All that stuff I always talkabout compassion, fatigue,
resentment and exhaustion willsneak in.
(03:38):
It's eminently important thatwe understand what holding space
means, we understand the energywe put into it and we take time
to assess what we need afterwe've held such sacred space for
others.
Okay, so that's what it meansto hold space.
(03:58):
Next, let's talk about why welose ourselves, why we lose
ourselves in the process.
So I believe and you know, likeI tell you, I go and do some
research each week so I can have, I want to have data, I want to
(04:30):
have meat to feed you.
That's all I mean to share withyou in this podcast.
So here's what I believe arethe reasons we lose ourselves in
the process of holding space.
Three common reasons that weprofessional helpers will lose
ourselves.
Number one boundary blurring.
I've seen it, I've lived it, Iknow it's real.
When your clients, students,family members' emotions start
(04:51):
to feel like they're your ownemotions, that's a flag that we
want to pay attention to.
Boundary blurring Save yourmindset, believing you're
responsible for fixing everyone,and I don't say that insulting
(05:12):
the personalities.
They get into the professionalhelping field we often need to
be needed without really sittingdown and exploring what exactly
that means.
And how is that serving myclient?
That save your mindset cansneak in.
Yeah, we are not.
It is impossible for us to beeverything to everyone.
We have a certain niche that wereally serve well and we do our
(05:37):
best to take care of that.
But even in that we are merelya journey taker.
We walk alongside our clientsas they go through the process
of healing.
We are not God, we're not theSavior.
We cannot fix them.
Good old Texas term right,going to fix it, we can't fix
(05:59):
them.
We have to really explore that.
If we feel that coming up thatsave your mindset, that's a flag
and, I think, a beautifulopportunity to really explore
that in our own counselingsessions with our own therapist.
What is coming up here?
What is this about?
(06:19):
What is it tied to?
Third, there's the neglectingof self-recovery, the pouring
out without ever refilling.
We got to refill that vessel.
We cannot continue to pour fromthat pot and expect it not to
go dry, expect us not to beimpacted by how that feels we
(06:44):
cannot neglect self-recovery.
That should happen between everysession.
You should have some sort ofritual.
I don't care if you're amedical doctor, I don't care if
you're a nurse going from roomto room in the hospital, I don't
care if you're a counselor, aschool teacher however, you fall
into the helping professionals.
You need to have a ritual tocheck that energy, re-energize
(07:10):
self-recover between the peopleyou work on.
Now I'm thinking about nurses.
When my husband and I wereliving in the hospital due to
all his brain cancer stuff, Iknow nurses are hopping.
There's one of you and lots ofpeople pulling at you.
But even in that situation youcan figure out a real quick
(07:34):
ritual.
Maybe it's a big rectanglebreath, maybe it's a quick
visualization, maybe it's sometapping the EFT, tapping stuff.
There is something all of uscan do to get that self-recovery
taken care of between thepeople we serve.
Only then do we provide thebest clinical decisions, because
(07:58):
we're showing up whole Y'allresearch shows and this is
Figley 2013, salem and that's abig Salem et al 2023,.
Their research shows thathelpers who lack recovery
rituals are more prone toburnout and vicarious trauma and
(08:23):
you did not spend all the moneyand time and energy and effort
to get through all youreducation, to fall out of love
with this profession becauseyou're burned out, because
you're traumatized.
Take the time to take care ofyou.
The payoff is huge.
The cost is minimum.
Now the cost if you don't do itbecomes large.
(08:46):
Okay, so that's the threereasons why.
(09:10):
Actionable steps for you,protecting your space while
holding theirs, your clients,others.
Okay.
So first step one is for you toanchor yourself before the
encounter.
You know I would recommend atwo-minute grounding breath
(09:30):
before sessions, meetings orcaregiving moments.
But I know the reality of life.
You may not have two minutes,maybe you have 30 seconds.
Do that, take that, askyourself, as you're doing that
grounding breath before sessions, meetings or caregiving moments
, you ask yourself what is mineto hold and what's not?
(09:54):
When we work with people with alot of pain, that can be
overwhelming and we might try totake on some of that pain.
But that is not yours to hold.
It's yours to be present with,it's yours to help that client
hold space for and explore, butit's not yours to put in your
backpack and take home what ismine to hold and what's not.
(10:19):
Step two is to use microboundaries in the moment.
So here y'all, I want you topicture a clear glass wall.
I just remodeled my masterbathroom and put in this
gorgeous glass wall around myshower.
So I mean I'm picturing thatwhen I say, picture a clear
(10:42):
glass wall, empathy flowsthrough, but emotions don't
stick.
Hear that again, this imaginaryglass wall where empathy can
flow through, you can providethat to your client, but
(11:04):
emotions do not stick.
The client's emotions do notstick on that wall.
You want to keep your languagesupportive but contained.
I hear how painful this is.
Instead of, please don't saythis.
I feel your pain, we can't feel.
We don't want to insult aclient by saying oh, I know how
(11:26):
you feel, we don't.
Everyone feels different.
We are there to be with them,not to feel it for them.
We are there to provide asacred space for them to feel,
but it is impossible for us toknow exactly how they feel
because we are all different andcome to that moment from very
different experiences.
(11:48):
Step three you want to ritualizethe release.
Ritualize the release Aftereach encounter.
Practice closing ritual.
After each encounter, you needto practice a closing ritual.
I mentioned a couple earlier.
(12:10):
Maybe a square breath, or maybeyou just tap your feet on the
ground, notice the energy inyour body.
Maybe you do a body scan wheream I feeling this?
And bring compassionate love tothat spot on your body.
Maybe it's the EFT tappingplethora of things.
You know what will work for you.
Another couple of things youcould do just shake out your
(12:33):
arms right, just release thatenergy.
Maybe you could write down justone sentence about the
interaction and then close yournotebook.
Or perhaps you literally washyour hands as a symbolic release
.
And nurses, you're having towash your hands anyway.
Maybe you approach that alittle differently each time.
(12:53):
And physicians, I mean, youknow it's the energy you bring
to this ritualizing release thatis going to help you.
And then, step four you want torefill with joy daily.
Right, I talk about this a lot.
Self-care isn't about removingcrap.
(13:16):
Self-care is about being sofull of things that are joyful
for you.
You don't have to worry aboutremoving stuff because the room
has been taken up with the joy,the things that feel good.
So step four refill with joydaily.
I invite you to schedule 10 to15 minutes of something that
(13:40):
brings you absolute joy.
Maybe walking your dog, maybesinging, journaling, or just
sitting on your porch anddrinking coffee.
My husband and I.
When we built this house, wereally walked around the
property and found the perfectspot.
It's on a hill and the view andI really had to think which way
(14:05):
is the house going to face.
I made sure the backyard facedthe view and I've created an
outdoor living room out therewith a couple of rocking chairs,
coffee table plants.
He got me one of those biggiant swinging bed kind of
things.
I love it, but the view ismajestic.
(14:27):
There's all these oak trees andoff in the distance there's
hills and vistas.
It's just a beautiful view.
That is a place that I can goto drink my coffee and really
experience joy.
I really invite you.
When you think about what am Igoing to do to refill my joy
(14:48):
daily, you think about what am Igoing to do to refill my joy
daily, think about somethingthat involves the outdoors,
simply because outdoors it's sogrounding that vitamin D from
the sun, which we know helpsregulate our emotions, which we
can struggle with asprofessional helpers find.
(15:08):
You know.
I just invite you and maybe wecan't all the time.
There's times I plop my butt onthe sofa and I like to.
I think I just invite you, andmaybe we can't all the time.
I mean, there's times I plop mybutt on the sofa and I like to
color.
I think I've told you all this.
There's a coloring app I haveon my phone.
I love to color and listen toan audible or a podcast.
I love it.
We all know what brings us joy.
I invite you to take the time sothat at the drop of a hat, if
(15:31):
someone says, hey, bill, what'ssomething you do that brings you
joy, you don't have to thinkyou go, boom, sit on my back
porch and drink coffee, boom,know what you're doing to bring
joy and do it.
And I just you know.
I want you to name thisjoy-filling time as recovery
(15:54):
time, not some optionalself-indulgence, it's recovery
time, which is why I do allowmyself to plop on my sofa and I
love my sofa.
It's this big yellow velvetsofa, big wraparound, sectional.
It's a sectional but it takesup most of the living room.
I just love it.
I used to not allow myself timeto sit and just not just.
(16:19):
It's self-recovery toself-recover period, let me just
put a period there.
But through my burnout andrecovery process I have learned
the value of recovery time.
It is not optionalself-indulgence, it's recovery
time so I show up better for myhusband, for my kids, for my
(16:40):
clients.
It's important, okay.
And then step five is for you tobuild a support circle.
Helpers need helpers too.
Create peer check-ins, maybe asupervision group or a friend
(17:06):
accountability call.
What do you do to supportyourself right here, right now,
if we were sitting together andI said, okay, jane, help me
understand what you do to takecare of yourself, what circle do
you have around you?
What would you say Now, maybesome of y'all are going.
Easy, jules, I do blah, blah,blah, but maybe some of y'all
are going.
It's a good one, I don't.
(17:26):
So do Find a place to createthat circle.
You want to, in this circle, beasking each other how are you
holding up?
What's one thing you're doingjust for you this week?
Those are important things forus, as professional helpers, to
be considering, to beconsidering, okay.
(17:49):
So actionable steps to protectyour space while holding space
for others.
Anchor yourself before theencounter, use micro boundaries
in the moment that glass wall.
Empathy goes out.
Emotions don't stick.
Ritualize the release, refillwith joy daily and build a
(18:15):
support circle which brings usto reflection prompts for you
all to think about.
Now, right here.
I want to just pump the brakes amoment.
I highly encourage y'all tosign up to get this email weekly
where I send you the podcastand I send you a free, soul
(18:37):
nourishing PDF.
I believe that's very importantand I create a very beautiful
PDF to nourish your soul eachweek.
All you have to do is hop overto wwwjuliemerrimanphdcom and
sign up and I'll send you thesewith love each week.
I hate to say email is becauseI'm not trying to sell you
(19:08):
anything, I promise.
I just want to get this podcastto you in your inbox so it's
easy, breezy to listen to andyou have that PDF, all right.
So I have created three promptsfor you to think about.
So grab your journal and write.
(19:29):
Or, if you're like me, when I'mlistening to a podcast I'm
probably out in the garden.
Or, like I say, coloring on myphone, I'm not where I'm writing
, so certainly think about it.
But if you can write it down, Ithink the kinesthetic action of
writing things down is socathartic and therapeutic and
important, okay.
(19:50):
So, first one who are youholding space for right now?
Okay, who are you holding spacefor right now?
Where do you feel yourselfgetting depleted?
Do you feel yourself gettingdepleted.
(20:10):
That's an important one.
Where are you getting depleted?
Where is that feeling in yourbody and where is it in your
life?
Which of the five steps I justtalked you through could you
start practicing today?
Which of those five steps?
And let me just remind you,anchor yourself before the
(20:31):
encounter.
Use micro boundaries in themoment.
Ritualize the release, refillwith joy daily, build a support
circle.
Which one of those could youstart practicing today?
Okay, so that's a lot of goodinformation for you to apply.
(20:58):
Friends, I just invite you tounderstand, to think about, to
internalize that holding spaceis one of the most sacred gifts
we give, but your well-beingmatters too.
When you ground yourself, setmicro boundaries, release what's
(21:19):
not yours, refill daily andlean on your community, you can
keep showing up with compassionwithout losing yourself in the
process.
Without losing yourself in theprocess.
Okay, if you love today'sepisode, share it with another
helper who might need thesereminders.
(21:40):
And don't forget to grab yourfree Soul Joy Starter Guide, and
really the only way to grabthat in this moment is to get on
my list so I can get it emailedto you, because this starter
guide is going to kickstart yourburnout prevention journey and
(22:01):
I have it linked in the shownotes, how to sign up to get
these emails.
So until next time, may youfind joy in the work, peace in
the pauses and love in your ownlife.
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