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August 18, 2025 26 mins

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Feeling exhausted by the constant focus on problems and challenges in your helping work? You're not alone. As professional helpers, we spend our days analyzing crises, addressing suffering, and navigating complex systems. This essential work keeps our focus on difficulties—often overshadowing the good that exists, the progress our clients make, and our own inherent capacity for resilience.

Gratitude offers a powerful antidote to this professional tunnel vision. Far more than just a polite "thank you," gratitude represents an active practice and conscious mindset that can transform both our wellbeing and effectiveness. The science is compelling: practicing gratitude activates brain regions associated with reward and connection, boosts dopamine and oxytocin, and potentially reduces cortisol—literally rewiring our brains for greater resilience. For helpers specifically, gratitude prevents burnout, enhances genuine empathy, improves professional relationships, increases job satisfaction, and strengthens resilience.

This transformative practice doesn't require adding overwhelming tasks to your already demanding schedule. Simple, consistent actions yield significant benefits: keeping a brief gratitude journal, creating mindful appreciation moments throughout your day, performing a "three good things" debrief, writing sincere thank-you notes, or implementing team gratitude shares. These practices counteract our brain's negativity bias and train our minds to notice the positive elements all around us. The "Gratitude Ripple" exercise included in this episode guides you through identifying gratitude moments, exploring their effects, and creating an actionable plan to integrate gratitude into your professional life.

Remember that cultivating gratitude isn't about ignoring suffering or suppressing difficult emotions—it's about building capacity to see light even when immersed in shadows. By consciously acknowledging the good, you're empowering yourself to show up day after day with renewed energy and purpose. Ready to transform your experience? Visit juliemerrimanphd.com for weekly resources and the bonus PDF activity that accompanies this episode.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey y'all, I'm Dr Julie Merriman and welcome to
SoulJoy.
Today we're exploring the crownchakra still, but shifting the
focus not to challenges we facebut to a profound practice that
can transform our experience ofthose challenges, cultivating
gratitude because, y'all, thisis a very necessary component of

(00:22):
holistic, sustainable self-care, also known as wellness.
All right, all right, all right.
I hope everyone is doing greattoday.
Oh, I know we're doing prettygood here at the Merriman

(00:42):
Compound.
I have just scripted and I'mcreating another podcast that's
called Hotter After 50.
It's all about getting our sexlives back on track and those of
us who are over 50, ladies.
I think you know what I'mtalking about, but I've had so

(01:03):
much fun scripting this podcastand I've also outlined my new
book today.
I've been productive today, so,and the Hubs and I have planned
a trip to Barcelona, spain.
I'm really excited.
We're going to fly over andhang around, kind of kick about
Spain for several days and thenhop on a boat and float back to

(01:27):
the States, so that should befun and we'll make some stops
along the way.
So, again, busy day here at theMerrimack Compound.
Oh so, professional Helpers.
This podcast is dedicated topreventing and overcoming the
occupational hazards of thecareer we chose.
Specifically, we want toprevent and overcome burnout,

(01:51):
compassion, fatigue andvicarious trauma.
That's a passion of mine and Iam so thrilled that you've tuned
in to talk about this stuff.
So y'all, as helpers, our daysare often spent, you know, just
immersed in problems andvulnerabilities and deficits.
We analyze crises, we addresssuffering, navigate complex

(02:16):
systems, and this focuses onwhat's difficult.
Of course it's essential to ourwork, but it is a focus on
what's difficult.
Of course it's essential to ourwork, but it is a focus on
what's difficult.
But when our lens is constantlyzoomed on the problems, it's
easy for the immense good, theprogress our clients make, the

(02:40):
moments of connection and evenour own inherent capacity to be
overshadowed.
And we see that in our clientsall the time and we try to help
them find a way to move pastthat overshadowing.
But how often, my friend, doyou do that for yourself?
Gratitude, in this context, isfar more than a fleeting emotion

(03:06):
or a polite thank you Y'all.
It's an active practice, aconscious choice of focus and
it's a really powerful mindsetthat can profoundly impact our
well-being and, by extension,our professional effectiveness,
those clinical decisions we'remaking.

(03:27):
It's not about ignoring pain.
We don't do that.
We feel what we need to feel,just like we tell our clients
and we don't ignore injustices.
But this gratitude is aboutactively acknowledging the good
that exists, because it does,even amidst all the difficulty

(03:51):
that we face and that ourclients face.
Today, we'll explore whygratitude is particularly vital
for us as helpers, and we'regoing to delve into the practice
behind its benefits and otherpractical and accessible
strategies you can implementright this minute, as you're

(04:14):
listening to this podcast, toweave this transformative
practice into your demandingprofessional life, because my
goal for y'all is to get somerelief, find a place where you
can just nurture yourself sothat you can sustain the good
work that you do.
So first, y'all, let's definegratitude beyond the superficial

(04:40):
.
It's not about toxic positivitythat doesn't help anyone, or
pretending everything is finewhen it's not Genuine.
Gratitude involves thefollowing, and these are things
that I do for y'all.
When I'm scripting this stuff,I go and I research and I enjoy
it.
I mean, I'm a PhD, I like toresearch, so it's fun to put

(05:02):
this together for you.
But these bullet points are theones that I believe to be very
important for us as we look at agratitude practice.
But gratitude involves activeacknowledgement.
We're consciously recognizingand appreciating the good things
, be it big or small, that arepresent in your life and your

(05:25):
work.
Next, there's sourcerecognition, and this is
understanding that all goodthings come from external
sources, right, the support ofcolleagues, the resilience of a
client, the inherent beauty ofnature, or maybe even just the
functioning of your own body.

(05:45):
I know, every time I am on myPeloton bicycle and I'm trying
to keep up with those littleyoung coaches I mean, they're
virtual, but I'm still trying tokeep up with them I give thanks
for my body, that at 61, it'sstill functioning like it does
and pushing itself for fitness.

(06:07):
It just that is an amazingthing what our body can do, and
it's a great thing to begrateful for.
And then the other bullet wouldbe your choice of focus.
So, y'all, it's a deliberateact of shifting your attention
towards what is working, whatyou do have and what you are

(06:30):
receiving.
Even while acknowledging it canbe difficult.
The impact of gratitude is morethan just a nice feeling.
It's, I mean, and there's agrowing body of science to back
this.
And the science highlights theprofound psychology and

(06:54):
psychological and physiologicalbenefits of gratitude.
So here's what neuroscience istelling us, just as a review.
I'm sure you all know this.
But just as a review us, justas a review, I'm sure y'all know
this.
But just as a review,practicing gratitude has been
shown to activate brain regionsassociated with reward.
That's pretty cool With socialbonding and also with moral

(07:17):
cognition, like the medialprefrontal cortex.
So neuroscience is showing thatgratitude helps with our bonding
.
Think of attachment theory andthat moral cognition that relies
on that prefrontal cortex.

(07:38):
It can also boost transmitterslike dopamine and oxytocin.
Who doesn't love those?
Y'all know these are linked topleasure and connection.
Yeah, oxytocin, that lovehormone.
That's why I mean, that's whyour sex life is so important

(07:59):
with our husband or our partner.
It helps to help us feelconnected and as humans we need
to feel that connection.
And While we're boosting theseneurotransmitters, it can
potentially reduce cortisol, andy'all know that's the stress

(08:20):
hormone.
So, essentially, gratitude canhelp rewire your brain for
greater positivity andresilience.
Next, the psychological benefitsare loud and proud.
Next, the psychologicalbenefits are loud and proud.
Studies show that gratefulindividuals tend to experience

(08:41):
more positive emotions.
You know, like joy, contentment, optimism.
I know when I am really workinghard in my therapy with my
therapist I have been known toexperience spontaneous joy
through the week and I thinkthat is just amazing.
But she has me focusing y'allon the gratitude component so
that I'm getting more of adopamine hit and joy is more

(09:02):
open to me.
This gratitude can also reducelevels of envy and resentment
and regret Y'all.
It can help you improve sleepquality, strengthen coping
mechanisms and boost overalllife satisfaction.
And it's free, okay.

(09:25):
So specific professionalbenefits for helpers helpers
such as we are counselors,doctors, teachers, I mean
there's all kinds of helpers.
But gratitude can help withburnout prevention and I know
the research I did with mydisser back in the day showed
this as well.
I mean, there's lots ofresearch studies that show this.

(09:46):
But burnout prevention backedby gratitude.
This is because you're shiftingfocus from constant depletion
to acknowledging replenishmentand positive aspects.
And there's gratitude that actsas a powerful buffer against

(10:07):
burnout and helps process theemotional weight you know of the
secondary trauma that we'repicking up all day and as we're
working with our clients andpatients.
There's also enhanced empathyand compassion because, y'all,
when you appreciate your ownresources, the good in your life
, you're better equipped to showup with genuine, non-enmeshed

(10:30):
empathy for others and you dothis without feeling resentment
or over-responsibility.
And then there's improvedprofessional relationships.
So you're expressing sinceregratitude to colleagues,
supervisors, team members, andthis helps to strengthen bonds,

(10:50):
it helps to build trust and italso fosters a more supportive
and collaborative workenvironment.
All good things.
A place you want to show up andgo to work.
Then there's greater jobsatisfaction and meaning.
So this is regularlyacknowledging the positive
impacts, even small ones, whichreconnects you to the

(11:16):
fundamental why of your work,and I talk about why.
A lot, see, this helps.
You see, beyond theadministrative task keeping your
notes up to date and thechallenging moments to the
profound meaning in what you do,because every note we write
well, I can't be the only one,and I know my supervisees fuss

(11:37):
about it too I can be the onlyone who's like, oh, I got to do
that note, but it's not the note, it's the greater purpose, it's
the profound meaning of thatnote means that I got to meet
with a client and do some goodtoday.
How amazing is that?
Then there's increasedresilience.

(11:58):
See, grateful people tend tocope better with stress and
trauma.
They see challenges asopportunities for growth rather
than obstacles.
So y'all these are all goodthings.
How can we actively cultivategratitude, especially when our

(12:21):
professional lives are so verydemanding.
It's about integrating small,consistent practices.
It's not about adding in moreoverwhelming tasks.
Okay, so you want to keep areally brief gratitude journal
how you're going to, each day,or a few times a week, quickly

(12:45):
jot down three to five specificthings you're grateful for,
because that brings yourattention to it.
Now you want to be specific.
Instead of saying I'm gratefulfor my job, you want to try.
I'm grateful for the way myclient showed up today and
showed a small sign of progresswhich reminded me of the impact

(13:06):
of my work.
Or maybe I'm grateful for mycolleague who offered to cover
for me when I needed a break.
The benefit here this is thatneuroscience.
This is going to help rewireyour brain to actively scan for
positives throughout your day,because our brain is wired to

(13:27):
look for negatives.
That's how our ancestorssurvived.
We're always looking for what'swrong, what's the danger, if
you will, in the environment.
And the more we practicegratitude, the more it rewires
our brain to calm the hell downand look through positives
throughout your day.

(13:49):
Next, you want to have a mindfulapproach or, excuse me, a
mindful appreciation.
You want to have mindfulappreciation moments.
So this means you pick a fewmoments throughout your day.
You just simply pause andconsciously appreciate something
mundane the taste of yourcoffee, the comfort of your
chair, the quiet moment betweentasks, the sun coming through

(14:14):
the window, moment between tasks, the sun coming through the
window.
See, this engages your sensesand really helps you to savor
the experience.
And the benefit is that itbreaks negative thought patterns
and helps to ground you in thepresent moment by shifting your
perspective.
I mean easy peasy, none ofthese things cost a penny.

(14:36):
Next, the three good thingsdebrief.
Okay, so at the end of yourworkday or before you go to bed
or whenever it works best foryou, maybe you're more of a
morning person, but you mentallyor physically list three good
things that happened, no matterhow small, and you briefly
reflect on why they happened.

(14:58):
This reinforces positiveexperiences and helps you end
the day on a constructive noteor start the day on a
constructive note.
The benefit here is that ithelps counteract the natural
tendency y'all to dwell onchallenges, that it helps
counteract the natural tendencyy'all to dwell on challenges and
this aids in emotionalregulation, and that is a good

(15:22):
thing for all of us.
Then you want to look at havinga practicing, rather expressive
gratitude, and this could bevia letters or visits.
You periodically write asincere letter or email or make
a conscious effort to thanksomeone who has positively

(15:43):
impacted you professionally.
Yeah, it could be your mentor,a colleague, a supervisor, even
a client, and of course, that'swithin ethical boundaries.
I have done this and I tell youand I'm thinking about oh, I
looked up a high school teacherthat really had a profound

(16:05):
impact on my life.
I did not like high school.
I was ready to drop out of highschool Thanks to this teacher
and a counselor at a littlebitty high school in Glen Rose,
texas.
These two ladies intervened inmy life and instead of quitting
school my junior year, theyfound a way for me to, because

(16:28):
this was what?
Was it?
79?
No, this was 80.
Anyway, 79 or 80.
Anyway, they and we didn't haveall this virtual stuff they
found a way for me to take acorrespondence course from Texas
Tech University where later onI would go to get my PhD, and I
completed those two courses.
I'd moved around a lot.

(16:50):
I bumped, daddy, moved us all.
He was an engineer for BellHelicopter and we moved a lot, I
mean states.
So I was bouncing back andforth from Arizona to Texas.
But all this to say, I hadenough credits with these two
correspondence courses tograduate my junior year and that
was a profound thing for methat these two women cared

(17:15):
enough about me to do this forme.
So one day I went.
My mom has a ranch in Glen Rose, so I'm there periodically.
Anyway, I was in Glen Rose and Idecided to look up this English
teacher.
She always made me feel like Iwas more than I believed I was
and anyway I thanked her.
I let her know what I had donewith my life and what an

(17:39):
influence she had had on this,just the gratitude I had for her
.
And she was sadly dying ofcancer at the time and didn't
have a lot longer to live.
I had no idea at the time whenI looked her up.
But I tell you, I think thattaking the time to express that
gratitude impacted me probablymore than her, because it just

(18:03):
felt so good to let her knowwhat a difference she had made
in my life.
So that's a lot about that, butI just really think it's
important for us to take thetime to express gratitude.
We always hear about peoplebitching and moaning to us when
things don't go right, but it'srare for people to take the time
to let us know when things didgo right.

(18:25):
When you do express yourgratitude, be specific about
what you're grateful for and howit impacted you.
The benefit here is that itdeepens relationships and
creates a powerful positivefeedback loop for both parties.
And then the last one would beteam gratitude share.

(18:47):
So this is this suggestsstarting or ending a team
meeting with a brief round whereeveryone shares one thing
they're grateful for, eitherprofessionally or personally.
I work for an organization inAbilene and Michael called these
New Horizons.
It's the name of theorganization.

(19:08):
It's an adoption and aresidential treatment facility,
but anyway, he would haveeveryone do heart stories at our
meetings and I tell you theywere pretty powerful.
Tears would come up.
I think that this is a greattradition to start with a team.
The tip here is you want tokeep it quick and focused, to

(19:31):
respect time.
But the benefit is that itfosters a more positive team
culture and a shared sense ofappreciation.
We're all out there doing hardwork.
It feels good to be able toshare and be supported.
So y'all remember cultivatedgratitude is a practice, it's
not a destination.

(19:51):
It doesn't mean ignoringsuffering or suppressing
difficult emotions.
You've got to get those.
You've got to feel your feels.
This is about building yourcapacity to see the light, even
when you're deeply immersed inthe shadows.
Even when you're deeplyimmersed in the shadows, it's an

(20:12):
act of radical self-care thatempowers you to continue showing
up day after day with renewedenergy and purpose.
By consciously choosing to lookfor and acknowledge the good,
you're not just making yourselffeel better, you're building
resilience, deepeningconnections and, ultimately,

(20:35):
becoming an even more effectiveand sustainable helper.
Okay, now it's time for ourquick commercial.
Please subscribe to my emaillist.
You'll get the weekly emailthat I prepare for you, along
with the bonus PDF that Iprepare each week of the

(20:57):
activity that I've created foryou.
All you have to do is hop onover to my website,
wwwjuliemerrimanphdcom, and justsign up on the weekly, weekly
sign up on the email list, orsign up for my self-care
challenge.
That'll put you on the emaillist too, and there's some fun

(21:18):
stuff on that on my website, soI invite you to check it out.
Okay, back to our regularlyscheduled program.
Okay, so the activity today Ihave called the Gratitude Ripple
, and it's a practice forhelping professionals.
So this activity is designed tohelp you actively engage with

(21:42):
the concepts from this episode.
From this episode, throughguided reflection and a short
practical exercise, you're goingto explore how gratitude shows
up in your professional life anddevelop strategies to integrate
it more consistently.
So step one would be tore-listen to this episode, where

(22:09):
you're at a place where you canjust sit quietly and really
soak it in.
But you can do this regardless.
You don't have to do that.
But you would re-listen to theepisode and identify gratitude
moments as you listen, pay closeattention to the examples of
gratitude practices and theirbenefits that we went over

(22:30):
earlier.
And then, in step one, you'regoing to identify two to three
specific moments from yourrecent professional life within
the last week or two where youexperience gratitude, if even
momentarily, and y'all thiscould be big or small.
Client thanked me for sincerelysupporting them.

(22:51):
My team rallied together tosolve a difficult problem.
I had a moment of clarity,helped me navigate a really
complex situation.
I appreciated the supportiveemail I got from my supervisor.
I mean it could be anything.
Supportive email I got from mysupervisor.

(23:12):
I mean it could be anything.
Once you've identified those, instep two you're going to
explore the ripple effect.
So, for each moment youidentified in step one, you
explore the ripple effect ofgratitude.
And this is done by consideringthese questions how did that
moment of gratitude affect youemotionally?

(23:33):
Did it boost your mood, reducestress, increase your sense of
connection?
How did it affect your actionsor your approach to your work?
Did it make you more patient,more creative, more energetic?
How did it affect yourinteractions with others?
Were you more compassionate,maybe more collaborative?

(23:55):
Did you find more appreciationin those connections?
And then, did it have anylasting impact beyond that
specific moment?
So that's the ripple effectthat we're looking at.
And then step three, thegratitude pause and practice.

(24:16):
You choose one of the gratitudemoments from step one and you
close your eyes and bring thatmoment vividly into your mind
and you spend several momentsjust fully reliving the
experience.
You're going to focus on whatdid you see, hear, feel, smell,

(24:37):
even taste in the moment, whatthoughts were going through your
mind, what physical sensationsdid you experience and where in
your body did you experiencethose?
And once you've done that focus, you note your observations.
What did you notice about yourbody and your emotions as you

(25:01):
relive the experience?
Did any new insights orappreciations emerge, and then
you're going to take it to stepfour, which of course, it's
Merriman.
We're going to do an action plan, because we can't If we think
it, it's not going to get done.
We have to think it, plan it,activate it.

(25:23):
So you're going to choose onegratitude practice from the
podcast we went over the briefjournal, the mindful
appreciation moments, three goodthings, debrief, expressive
gratitude, and then the teamshare, and you're going to
choose one of those that you'rewilling to commit to

(25:44):
implementing in the next weekand then you're going to write
down the action plan, thespecific practice, how often,
when and where you're going todo it, and a brief statement of
your commitment to integratingthe practice.
Okay, that's all for thisepisode of Soul Joy.

(26:05):
I thank y'all so much fortuning in and for your
unwavering dedication.
Until next time, take a momentto notice, to appreciate and to
feel the transformative power ofgratitude.
Subscribe to my podcast andleave a review, please, to help

(26:27):
me reach more folks.
And until next time, take careof you.
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